"-ah, yes, well, best of luck to you, Lord Kuchiki. Truly, a marvelous specimen, this year, as always."
"And the same to you, Lord Kannogi," Byakuya replied, as his fellow orchidophile took his leave. Old goat, he sneered in his head, knowing that Kannogi's line of Neofinetia falcata was the only one here who held a candle to his own. He desperately wanted to sneak down to row 7 and see what the competition looked like, but of course, he would never give Kannogi the satisfaction. Maybe he could get Rukia to do it. Rukia had always been game for scouting out the competition for him. Maybe she could take Abarai with her. It would do Abarai good to learn a thing or two about orchids. Furthermore, looking at orchids and cultivating an interest in orchids was very conducive to romance, in Byakuya's personal experience.
Both Rukia and Abarai appeared to have disappeared. Curious.
Abarai's two friends were still here. Hisana was deep in conversation with the girl from the Fifth. Byakuya narrowed his eyes.
Aizen Sousuke, in his eternal pretentiousness, had owned an orchid that he claimed was "a modest specimen," "for my own enjoyment", "hardly worth anything." Byakuya had never seen it, although it was always fuzzily present in the background of any photograph of Aizen that made its way into the Seireitei Bulletin. It was the opinion of many that it was a wildly rare cultivar, unspeakably valuable. Byakuya had never believed this line of twaddle and certainly didn't believe it now that all of Aizen's glamour had proved to be misdirection and smooth-talking. Hisana had at one point, postulated that it probably wasn't even an orchid, it was probably a bunch of tissue glued to a dango skewer.
That being said, he desperately wanted to see it. It was his right, in his opinion, as the man who actually clocked Aizen on the back of the head, that he should have gotten Aizen's stupid orchid as war spoils. That wasn't the sort of thing you could just ask the Captain-Commander, though. The man had already given him a very critical look when he explained how he had used Abarai and Kurosaki as a distraction for Aizen to defeat and subsequently gloat over while he used his grandfather's "closing your heart" technique to see through that bloviating narcissist's illusions. It had worked, hadn't it? Scars gave a young man character.
"It does seem to be doing all right, I've been keeping it watered," Hinamori was saying. "I keep going back and forth, you know- I don't like to keep reminders of him, but it is a beautiful plant, and I hate to hold him against it."
"I think you are exactly correct to prioritize the feelings of the orchid," Hisana agreed. "If you'd like to bring it by the Manor some time, I'd love to give you some care tips."
"Oh, your Ladyship, I couldn't!"
"Of course you can, you should come over with Lieutenant Abarai some time, he's practically family!"
Hisana clearly had the Hinamori girl well in hand. Byakuya's heart swelled. His wife was incredible. Truly, he was the luckiest man in the Seireitei.
The other fellow, the lieutenant of the Third, kept glancing at him out of the corner of his eye, and Byakuya realized it would be appropriate to engage in small talk. He wasn't sure he had ever talked to the young man before- Kira came from a very old, if diminished family, and wrote excellent, if somewhat overwrought haiku.
"Lieutenant Kira," he greeted.
"Captain Kuchiki," Kira replied with a bow.
"What happened to Abarai?"
"He escorted Lady Rukia to her musical obligation."
Ah, that would explain it. Very appropriate, in Byakuya's opinion. He wondered if they could possibly conduct an entire courtship via Abarai escorting Rukia to her various obligations. That would simplify Byakuya's life enormously.
It occurred to him that, since Hisana appeared to have things in hand as regarded Aizen's orchid, he had an opportunity to gather some intelligence and possibly exert a bit of influence.
"You have been managing the affairs of the Third, I gather? I imagine the job is somewhat easier with Ichimaru no longer around."
Kira stared at him in stunned silence.
"That was a joke," Byakuya explained.
"I see!" Kira yelped. "Ha, ha!" Byakuya wondered if the man had some sort of nervous condition. "You are… not wrong."
"I imagine you have been considering taking on the larger role yourself," Byakuya mused. "I am sure that would provide some much needed continuity for your subordinates."
Kira blinked at him, gaping like a fish. Every time Byakuya was forced to interact with someone else's lieutenant, he was struck, once again, with how lucky he was to have stumbled upon the one he had. Abarai had possibly made a landed fish face once or twice in his first week, but had quickly learned the proper facial expressions for an adjutant to make. A very portrait of professionalism, once one learned to pretend the tattoos were some sort of congenital condition.
"I'm flattered that you think so, sir," Kira finally managed. "I'm quite new in the position, though, and to be honest, I didn't have the sort of mentorship relationship with Captain Ichimaru that you have with Abarai. Renji tells me he's learning a great deal from you and your methodology. I'm not really… captain material… at the moment."
Byakuya puzzled over the remarks about himself and his old schoolfellow. Was Kira implying that Abarai might be more prepared for captaincy than himself? Was that why they were socializing today? Could Kira be trying to convince Abarai to take over the Third? Hinamori was here, too, though. That might make things awkward… unless she was also angling for the Fifth, trying to beat Kira to the punch?
Byakuya decided to try to probe this a little further. "The Third is traditionally a very introspective and thoughtful squad. 'Despair' is your watchword, is it not?"
"Ye-es," Kira agreed, drawing the word out.
"I imagine," Byakuya twirled his fingers as he speculated, "you'll be looking for an older captain. Experienced. Poetic. Philosophical. A deep thinker. Perhaps an aesthete."
"That would be nice," Kira agreed. "I don't know where we would find such a person, though. There was talk about asking Acting Captain Iba to come back, but I hear she's enjoying her retirement. Also, she doesn't get along very well with the Head Captain."
"She never made bankai, did she?" Byakuya recalled. The woman, whom Byakuya had always found abrasive, had been Outoribashi's lieutenant, and had led the squad between the old captain's disappearance and Ichimaru getting his captain's papers.
"I suppose not," Kira shrugged. "To be honest, if we could get a young captain, someone straightforward and energetic, that might be a nice change of pace for the Third." Damnation. Damnation. "There's someone from the Patrol Corps with bankai that's being floated," Kira added as an afterthought, but Byakuya didn't really register it.
Suddenly, Hisana was tootling a greeting and waving her hand again. Byakuya wondered if Abarai had returned again.
No, it was worse. Much worse.
"Oh," Kira said, as though this weren't an utter disaster. "Lieutenant Hisagi."
"The press is here, the press is here!" Hisana trilled. "Lieutenant Hisagi, are you here to take a picture of my orchid?" She hefted a hip up onto the table to pose saucily next to her bloom.
Byakuya hated the press, generally. His grandfather had always encouraged him to be respectful, but to keep them at arm's length, advice he would have taken to heart. Unfortunately, Hisana had other ideas, and had long ago befriended the generally disheveled Assistant Editor of the Bulletin, whom she deemed a more receptive audience to her charms than the straight-laced Captain Tousen. Byakuya tried to stay as far away from their exchanges of information as possible. He grudgingly admitted that the Kuchiki tended to receive very fair coverage these days, even if they received a few more family details than Byakuya would have preferred, in exchange.
"Hisana, behave yourself," Byakuya muttered, as if he had the remotest chance of success.
"She's going to take all the top prizes, you know," Hisana went on, striking a different pose so that her hands framed the orchid.
"Oh, that's a front page shot for sure, Lady Kuchiki!" the overly hair-gelled cretin replied, hefting the metal-and-glass apparatus hanging around his neck. His eyes darted over to Byakuya, who had flower petals shimmering in his eyes. "But, uh, perhaps a more formal shot?"
Hisana rearranged herself to stand ramrod straight behind her orchid, but she insisted on smiling her radiant smile. It was very difficult for Byakuya to impress the importance of a stoic facial expression for photographs, when his wife so frequently insisted on taking his very breath away. Additionally, the stack of newspaper clippings he kept in the bottom drawer of his desk at work gave him bothersome pangs of potential hypocrisy.
"I didn't expect to run into you two here," Hisagi ribbed his fellow vice-captains. "Since when are you flower enthusiasts?" His eyes widened. "Or is this some kind of date? Are you two on a date?"
Kira's face ran bright scarlet, and a choked noise squeaked out of his throat.
"Abarai wanted to come," Hinamori replied, ignoring Hisagi and oblivious of Kira.
There was a long, awkward silence. Hisagi raised an eyebrow. "What… happened to him? He fall in the fountain?" He blinked. "Wait, Abarai wanted to come to the Orchid Show?"
Kira managed to find his voice, although his skin hadn't quite lost its bright tinge. "Lady Rukia is providing musical entertainment, and Lieutenant Abarai escorted her to the performance location."
"Oh, Rukia's here?" Hisagi asked. "Excellent."
Hisana plopped one elbow on the table and narrowed her eyes. "Aren't you the Editor-in-Charge at the Bulletin for now, Lieutenant Hisagi? And yet, you've chosen to cover the Orchid Show personally?"
Curses, another lieutenant of a captain-less squad! Asking about Abarai's whereabouts again! Was there no end to them?
"It is a rather plum assignment," Hisagi replied slyly.
"You haven't taken a picture of my husband yet," Hisana went on. "He's the second favorite, you know."
"I am the favorite," Byakuya corrected.
"Captain Kuchiki, I don't suppose you'd consent to a photograph of you and your orchid?" Hisagi asked, very politely.
Byakuya arranged himself behind his Neofinetia falcata, and composed his face into a very serious mien. He tilted his face slightly to the right optimistically. His left was his good hair side.
Hisagi frowned for a moment. "Can you turn your head the other way a little? People like to see the kenseiken."
Of course they did. Byakuya swiveled his head back the other way. Hisagi took the picture.
"This is a very convenient event," Hisana mused, tapping her chin, "if someone wanted access to a bunch of nobles."
"Ah, you mean, if a reporter had, say, a piece of late breaking news, and wished to get some high-ranking reactions to it?" Hisagi replied, perfectly straight-faced.
Young Kira blew his heavy bangs out of his face in exasperation and rolled his eyes. For once, Byakuya agreed with him.
"The question is," Hisana went on, dusting an imaginary speck of dust from an orchid leaf, "whose reaction are you hoping to get? And don't think I didn't notice the way your eyes lit up when you heard my sister was about."
"Rukia does not have opinions," Byakuya reminded his wife and also Editor-in-Chief Hisagi. "Rukia is off-limits to the press."
"Rukia is getting old enough to make her own decisions," Hisana replied archly. "Also, you're ruining my negotiations, dear. I'm about ready to send you off to go buy me a bubble tea."
Byakuya opened his mouth to protest, when Hisana interrupted with "The stand is over in row 7, you can sneak a look at Kannogi's spindly old orchids while you're there." Byakuya closed his mouth.
"Unfortunately," Hisagi drew out, "while your turns of phrase, Lady Kuchiki, are like jewels set within my stories, in this case, it is your husband's opinion on the particular piece of intelligence I have come across that will be of prime interest to my readers. It has a certain relevance to the Gotei, you see."
"Unfortunately," Byakuya replied, "I do not care about your readers."
A snerking noise emerged from Hisana's shapely nose.
Hisagi shrugged. "That is unfortunate, sir. Guess I'll just stick to the orchids, then. Thanks for the photos, Captain, Lady Kuchiki. Good luck with the competition, I'm sure you'll sweep it!"
Hisana pouted. "My opinion isn't better than none at all?"
"Well, if I tell you, you'll just tell him. I have my professional pride. I'm pretty sure I spotted Captain Kyouraku on my way through, I'm sure he'll be nearly as good."
Byakuya's nostrils flared slightly. Shunsui would offer an inane opinion on absolutely anything.
Hisagi shrugged casually. "It is a very good piece of gossip. I just hope the story doesn't leak everywhere before Monday, when the paper comes out. But that's one of the reasons I'm trying to put out a well-crafted analysis. We're not just a tabloid, you know."
Byakuya was expected to attend a garden party with the Kyouraku the next day. Assuming the man didn't forget it, Shunsui would know something Byakuya did not. No, Shunsui didn't actually forget things, he just pretended he did. He would bring it up a thousand times without actually ever revealing the secret. It would be… interminable.
"How juicy is this piece of gossip?" Hisana demanded grimly.
"So juicy," Hisagi replied flippantly.
Hinamori and Kira appeared to be silently planning on how to extricate themselves from this situation.
"The really nice thing about working with me," Hisagi went on, examining his fingernails, which were undoubtedly caked with ink, "is that when people read the article, everyone knows you were among the first to know."
Byakuya's back teeth clenched.
"You can describe his second reaction, and I'll give you my opinion," Hisana blurted out.
"I didn't agree to that," Byakuya pointed out.
"Too bad," Hisana snapped.
"Deal," Hisagi replied with a sunny smile. "So. As you know, we've been doing a number of long-form investigative articles on the ryouka invasion, and one of the things that was very interesting to me was the involvement of banished Captains Shihouin and Urahara, who apparently, have been abiding in the World of the Living. I stationed a reporter in the Seireitei Office for Special Permits and Exceptions, which usually handles migration between Rukongai and the Seireitei. However, its jurisdiction also extends to other realms, and sure enough, last week, they received a very interesting application, which was not the one I was expecting." He leaned forward. Everyone else leaned forward.
Very quietly and seriously, Lieutenant Hisagi described the permit that had been applied for.
Hinamori gasped. Kira made a choking noise.
"No!" Hisana exclaimed. "That's- he's- I don't believe it! Byakuya, can you believe it?"
Byakuya just stood up straight again. He stared out at the horizon. He contemplated the state of the universe, with and without this new piece of information. "I have completed my first reaction," he announced. He continued to contemplate the horizon. He took a deep breath through his nose and let it out again.
Hisagi squinted at him. "What… what was that? Is he thunderstruck? Dumbfounded? I can't… I can't tell?"
"He is exceedingly happy," Hisana declared. Damn her, Byakuya thought. Damn her and the way she could tell his every mood perfectly.
"I don't get it," Kira murmured.
"Yeah, why… does this make him happy?" Hinamori echoed.
"Isn't it obvious?" Hisana replied. "Because he knows something no one else does. Now, who is ready for my opinions?"