Different Ninja Omakes

Sorry everybody, this isn't a new chapter, though I should have one ready next week. I've been thinking about how other characters from Naruto could fit into ASOIAF and came up with some ideas that I think are kind of amusing, so I figured I'd type them up and share them. Let me know what you think!

Cherry Blossoms in Winter

Ned frowned as he watched his daughter talking with her new friend. Not that he had any problem with his daughter befriending the foreign woman. In fact, he was, to an extent, hoping that it would happen.

It's just that, well, if anything, he would have expected that a young woman trained as a warrior in a city of sellswords – a young woman skilled enough to become the apprentice of the leader of the city, at that – would get along better with Arya, not Sansa.

"My Sasuke-kun is so brave and heroic! He needed to get better training so that he could defeat his traitorous brother and avenge his family, so he risked his life and his very soul to track down one of the most infamous criminals in all of the Elemental Nations and force the fiend to teach him all his secrets!" the pink-haired girl gushed. "I wanted to go with him, but he cared too much about me to let me leave our home like that, but I know that he'll return to me some day."

"Oh, how romantic!" Sansa cooed. "That sounds like the sort of thing that my Golden Lion would do for me. He's such a brave prince, but a kind and caring one as well."

"My Golden Lion is so kind and caring," Arya muttered sarcastically under her breath, glaring at the pair as she walked a few paces behind them. She'd been ecstatic when she learned that they would have a female guard who was a trained warrior. The young girl sighed heavily. She should have known it was too good to be true.

(Ironically, after writing this, I realized that it could be possible for Sakura to make a huge difference in the war. If she was in King's Landing when Robert was hurt – assuming that he was wounded by a boar like in canon – she would likely have the skill to save his life, which means the Lannisters are facing a furious Robert Baratheon backed by the rest of Westeros.)

The Right Tool for the Job

The Twins truly were a dank and depressing place, Catelyn realized. Though they had come for a wedding, it seemed as though the atmosphere was more fitting for a funeral. Still, she put on her best face. They needed this alliance to be successful. The Frey's bridge was essential for her son's kingdom.

At this thought, she glanced over at Robb, standing tall and proud, his crown gleaming in the dim candlelight. No mother could be more proud of her son than Catelyn was of Robb.

A frown stole across her face as Robb moved, and she saw who was standing behind him. Not that she had expected any different. The attractive young woman had been found wandering in the forest not far from Winterfell, starving and cold. Her son, ever generous, had welcomed her into the castle, treating her as an honored guest, and the young woman had sworn to serve him. His tool, she had called herself.

Catelyn had no idea why the foreign woman thought Robb, the son of the most important lord in the North, would need yet another servant. When she had first heard the story, she was convinced that the girl was trying to worm her way into Robb's bed, but, to her surprise, the foreigner had never acted inappropriately - at least, not to Catelyn's knowledge. The strange woman had followed Robb all through his campaign in the Riverlands and in the west, aiding and supporting him in any way she could. So while it was certainly odd, there was no harm done, so far as Catelyn could see.

Soon the wedding was over, and Edmure had been sent out with his new bride in accordance with the bedding tradition. It was then that Catelyn began to feel a growing sense of unease. Something was very wrong.

Her blood turned to ice as the musicians began to play that infamous tribute to Lannister cruelty, and she looked over to see Walder Frey grinning maliciously.

Some of the musicians dropped their instruments and took up crossbows instead. All around them, the Freys drew their swords. The Northern warriors, surrounded and unarmed, would be cut down, she knew. And there was nothing anyone could do to stop it.

The crossbowmen were aiming at her son and his guards, but before the bolts could fly, a wall of solid ice materialized in front of them. Shouts of surprise and fear filled the hall as more ice appeared, separating the Freys from their intended victims.

"You would dare break the sacred traditions of your fathers and betray your king?" Haku hissed furiously. Long shards of ice appeared in her hands, and she fixed Walder Frey with a furious stare, causing the cowardly old man to shrink back in his grimy chair. Her arms seemed to blur, and all around the room, the Freys fell to the ground, ice needles sticking out of them like pincushions.

"If you want to kill Robb-sama, you'll have to go through me first," the beautiful yet deadly foreigner vowed, her voice soft, but there was no doubt that everyone in the room heard it.

The few Freys still standing looked at each other in horror, their fear palpable, and Catelyn couldn't help but smile. This wasn't such a bad wedding after all.

Super Perverts Unite!

Ned sighed as he looked around the chamber at the other members of Robert's Small Council. He hadn't been aware that the descriptor 'small' was such an appropriate one. Besides himself, there were only two other people in the room – Robert's brother Renly, and Ser Barristan Selmy.

"Where are the others?" he inquired. He had heard that Stannis Baratheon, the Master of Ships, was on Dragonstone, but that still left the Grandmaester and the Masters of Coin and Whispers unaccounted for.

"Well, Robert never comes," Renly replied, "and Baelish was arrested on my authority as Master of Laws after Robert's new Master of Whispers approached me with evidence that he was the one who poisoned Jon Arryn. One of your first duties as Hand will be to organize the trial. And appoint a new Master of Coin, I suppose."

"New Master of Whispers?" Ned echoed, surprised. "What of Varys? Is he not the spymaster?"

"No, he was executed some time ago when it was discovered that he had been supporting the fugitive Targaryens."

Robert hadn't mentioned that. Ned wondered what else his old friend had neglected to tell him.

Renly, it seemed, hadn't finished with his report. "Pycelle was also arrested for treason in that he was reporting on Robert to Tywin Lannister, and we suspect he was complicit in Jon's death."

One shock after another. "And this new spymaster, where is he?" Ned finally inquired.

Renly and Ser Barristan shared a glance that did not fill the Stark Lord with confidence.

"He is likely with the King," Ser Barristan finally said.

"If he is assisting Robert with some matter, should we not aid them as well?" Ned asked.

"It is not likely that the King or his new spymaster require any assistance from us," the aged knight replied quickly.

"Where are they?" At this question, Ned found himself wondering at the awkward smiles of the other two. And why did he suddenly remember how enthused Robert had been up in Winterfell when he told Ned of how women in the south often swam naked to escape the heat?

"Hee hee hee, some real beauties here," Jiraiya giggled as he watched a pair of women bathing in a small cove not far from the walls of the Red Keep. "Perfect inspiration!"

"Now this is the sort of Master of Whispers a king really needs – someone to find all the best places to watch beautiful women," Robert whispered enthusiastically as more women appeared and began removing their clothes. "Oh ho, look at the tits on that one!"

The white-haired shinobi didn't know how he'd arrived in this strange land, but never let it be said that the Gallant Jiraiya was unable to adapt to any circumstance. He'd earned the gratitude of the king, and while these people didn't have printing presses yet, that wouldn't stop him from working on his latest masterpiece: Icha Icha Westeros!

It's Good to be the King

Arya stared, tears running down her face as her father stood in front of the jeering crowd, confessing his supposed 'crimes'. "You have to help him," she pleaded desperately to the blonde kunoichi beside her.

"Not a problem," the older girl replied smugly. "Just keep an eye on my body for me."

Arya frowned. What does that mean? She watched curiously as Ino raised her hands, pressing together her thumbs and the first two fingers on each hand to form a rough circle as she focused on Joffrey. The foreigner whispered something in her native language, then slumped against the statue, seemingly unconscious. Only the earlier hint that this was somehow normal kept Arya from panicking even more than she already was.

Ned resisted the urge to curse as the blond bastard stepped forward and raised his hands. How he wanted to tell the world the truth about the loathsome Lannister spawn. But Sansa's life was at stake, so Ned was powerless.

The crowd fell silent as Joffrey began to speak. "Lord Stark has confessed to a great many crimes today. But first, we must ask ourselves why he would do such a thing," the supposed king shouted, leading to confused glances from the queen and several others on the steps of the great sept. "It is known far and wide that Lord Stark is the most honorable lord in the Seven Kingdoms. Further, he is a lord of the North, who does not concern himself with southern titles or positions." He paused for a moment, looking over at Ned once more, then back at the crowd. "It is obvious that Lord Stark did not, in fact, commit the crimes that he confessed to today. Then, why would he lie? The answer is clear."

Ned was as startled as anyone. He had been promised that if he confessed, he would be permitted to take the black. Joffrey, however, did not seem to be following that plan. Instead, the young Lannister took a few steps to the side and gestured to Sansa. "His beloved daughter is being held by those he does not trust. Doubtless he fears that should he speak the truth, she would be harmed."

Once more Joffrey paused. "All kingsguard, come to me!" he commanded. Confusion reined for a moment until finally the white-cloaked men assembled a few steps behind the young king.

"As members of the kingsguard, you are sworn to protect whom I tell you to protect. And I now give you a solemn charge. No matter what Lord Stark says here today, you are to protect the Lady Sansa above all else, even if it means traveling to Winterfell to personally see her returned to her family. Is that understood?"

The knights as glanced at each nervously, before one finally responded. "Yes, we understand, your grace," the man said, though it was clear he was still confused.

"Excellent," the boy replied, before turning back to Ned. "So, Lord Stark, given that your daughter is now safe, please tell us the truth of your actions, and your reasons. I remember you speaking to your daughter in the godswood at Winterfell after she threw mud at her sister. You told her that a person must always be willing to be held accountable for their actions. Now, I beg you, tell us the truth."

Ned's mind whirled. That event had occurred before the royal party had even arrived. The only one who had been there besides he and Arya had been… A swell of hope filled his heart. Ino. The only other one was Ino, who has already demonstrated incredible abilities. Could she somehow be controlling Joffrey? To what end? It was a risk, but he would have to put his trust in the foreign woman and hope that she knew what she was doing.

"My previous confession was, indeed, false," he said in a loud voice. "I was told that Sansa would be harmed or killed if I did not lie. The truth is, I discovered that the Queen, Cersei Lannister, had been unfaithful to King Robert."

"Guards!" Joffrey roared, and Ned's heart sunk as several surprised goldcloaks stepped forward. Fortunately, his despair did not last long. "Arrest my mother!" the pretender king finished, pointing dramatically at the wide-eyed woman.

Ned glanced over and, despite the grave situation, almost burst out laughing at the look on Cersei's face. She tried to say something, but Joffrey did not give her any chance. "Lord Stark, please, continue your report."

Now with more confidence, Ned continued. "I had been investigating the death of the previous Hand, Jon Arryn, and I learned that he had discovered that the Queen had broken her vow of fidelity. When I confronted her, she confessed that she had lain with her brother, and that my son Bran discovered them in the act while in Winterfell, so Jaime threw him from the tower, nearly killing him."

The crowd listened spellbound. Cersei tried to say something but one of the guards muffled her at a gesture from Joffrey.

"When King Robert returned from hunt badly wounded, he appointed me regent and Lord Protector of the Realm until the rightful heir was ready to take the throne." Ned took a deep breath. This is it. "Cersei Lannister admitted that all of her children are not King Robert's children. Rather, their father is the Kingslayer, Jaime Lannister. Robert Baratheon had no legitimate children, and so, the throne belongs to the elder of his two brothers, Lord Stannis Baratheon."

"Grandmaester Pycelle," Joffrey shouted. The man scurried forward, too confused to maintain his charade of a dotty old fool. "Send a raven to Stannis Baratheon at once, advising him that he should come to King's Landing to claim his throne."

Cersei once more tried to say something.

"Gag her," Joffrey ordered, and the goldcloaks around her hesitantly obeyed. Exclamations of shock filled the plaza, but, to Ned's relief, it seemed everyone else was too confused to object, including Varys, the High Septon, and other members of the court gathered on the stairs of the sept.

"Lord Stark, if you were acting in accordance with the orders of King Robert, how then did you come to be imprisoned?" Joffrey inquired.

"Cersei destroyed the king's decree, then I was betrayed by Petyr Baelish," Ned replied bitterly. "My men were killed by those they thought were their allies, and I have been imprisoned ever since."

"Find Baelish and bring him here! He will face justice for this treachery!" Joffrey shouted to the crowd, gesturing emphatically. A few people gathered in the plaza gave a half-hearted cheer, but most looked confusedly at each other.

"Clearly, Lord Stark is innocent of those crimes to which he was previously forced to confess," the Lannister bastard declared. "He is, by decree of King Robert Baratheon, the Lord Protector of the Realm until such time as Stannis Baratheon is prepared to take up his crown. Cersei Lannister will be held in the Black Cells until King Stannis is ready to pass judgment upon her. Jaime Lannister is to be arrested and imprisoned as well."

Cersei made a noise that was presumably a protest, but, due to the gag, it sounded more like she was choking.

"As Lord Stark has clearly stated, I am a bastard born of incest, and therefore have no claim on the throne. I cannot speak for my younger siblings, but I feel there is only one course in life for me. I understand that there is a recruiter for the Night's Watch here?"

Yoren stepped forward. "Yes, your… uh…"

"Just call me Joffrey," the boy replied happily as he put a hand on the man's shoulder. "After all, I will be joining your order, and we shall be brothers."

More choking from Cersei.

Soon, Ned was freed, and the guards were sent out to find and arrest both Petyr Baelish and Janos Slynt. Cersei had been taken away, while the High Septon had quickly vanished into the sept. Varys, surprisingly, remained where he was, seemingly unaffected by the chaos.

Ned frowned briefly as Joffrey approached him. "I made a few changes in here while I was at it, but they won't last long. Joffrey will be back to his charming self in a few days. Best make sure Yoren takes him straight to the Wall as soon as possible," the boy whispered with a wink, then his face went slack as he blinked a few times, looking around uncertainly as though wondering how he got there.

As she sat up, Ino couldn't help but smile at the amazed look at Arya's face.

"That was incredible!" the girl exclaimed.

"What can I say?" the grinning kunoichi replied with fake modesty. "There's a reason the Yamanaka Clan is the best in Konoha."

Shadow of the Islands

Aeron Damphair looked around the hill where the captains were gathered, and almost cursed. Euron was a monster, but he was a cunning monster, and he had managed to ensnare most of the men gathered at the Kingsmoot. Aeron's niece had made a good showing, but it hadn't been enough.

Though the captains had made their decision clear, he knew his brother would lead them to ruin, so Aeron was already plotting how to end Euron's rule before it even began. Perhaps Victarion could be persuaded to aid me. He just wished there were another way.

At the exact moment this thought passed through his mind, he spied a beautiful woman walking calmly up to where Euron stood. From a distance, her auburn hair made her look like a Tully, but no Tully could move with such deadly grace. The woman smirked she gazed at the pile of treasures Euron had presented to the captains, then glanced at the large horn, scoffing dismissively.

"I am Mei Terumi, chosen by the Drowned God to lead these islands, and his people," she loudly declared as she turned her attention back to the captains gathered on the sacred hill.

Whispers could be heard, and it was all Aeron could do not to attack this woman for her blasphemy. Claiming to be chosen by the Drowned God. Heresy!

"I don't know about the Drowned God, but any time you want to feel a real man between your legs, I'll choose you!" Someone shouted.

Rather than getting angry, the newcomer just smiled. Her hands moved, fingers forming strange patterns, then all noise from the gathered crowd ceased as a mass of water shot out of the ocean and flew through the air. Swirling like a maelstrom, it crashed down on the stony ground behind the captains. Everyone turned to see that the ground where the vortex had impacted had not only been scoured clean, but the rock itself had been worn away as though it were mere sand.

"Does anyone doubt me now?" she asked, her voice sweet and innocent.

It took a moment for people to recover from the demonstration of her power. Chosen by the Drowned God indeed, Aeron thought.

"An impressive feat, but do you really think you could defeat a dragon?" one of the captains finally asked, his voice a curious mixture of anger and hope.

The woman laughed. "We have only Euron's word that the horn works as he says. I offer far greater proof of my claims." She shook her head dismissively. "When the Crow's Eye has finally succeeded in capturing a dragon, then he can press his claim to the throne. But as for me…" She trailed off, then puffed out her cheeks and exhaled sharply. Cries of shock came from all around as a massive ball of fire flew out of her mouth. "I think I'm enough of a dragon on my own."

The captains all cheered, shouting her name triumphantly.

Like the others, Euron had stared, visibly amazed and perhaps even a little cowed, but his astonishment was short lived. "Impressive," he remarked as he approached her slowly, his voice surprisingly calm. "A strong woman with such power is a beautiful thing to behold. But every queen needs a consort," he added smoothly. "Might I ask that you consider me for that position?" By now, he was standing right in front of her, and he reached out, gently stroking her hair, the curls of which covered one of her green eyes.

Desperate to prevent even the chance of Euron gaining power, Aeron spoke quickly. "The last Queen of the Isles had a large number of very elegant dresses made. They're a bit old, and might be somewhat wrinkly by now, but I'm sure with those dresses a woman such as you could attract the eye of any man she wanted," Aeron said respectfully.

The new queen's face contorted angrily. "Aeron, shut up or I'll kill you!"

Baffled, Aeron stared as the furious woman stormed off. How could she take offence at such a courteous statement?He sighed. Maybe Euron would have been the better choice.

(For anyone who's not as familiar with Naruto, there's a bit of a running joke that Mei frequently mishears when her adviser Ao speaks, and thinks that he is insinuating that she is undesirable for marriage because she is old, to which she responds by telling him to shut up or she'll kill him. Just imagine that she thought Aeron said "you're" instead of "they're" when talking about the dresses.)

If any readers want to write an omake like the ones above, send them to me in a review or PM, and I'll include them at the end of the next chapter. When I've finished the story, I'll move this chapter to the end of the story and include the omakes written by readers.

Some other ideas I came up with:

Sasuke and the Martells bonding over the joys of getting revenge for murdered family members?

Gai and Lee meet Griff and Young Griff?

Nagato shows up with his six paths, and the Faith decides he must be an incarnation of the Seven?

Still haven't figured out where Kakashi or Naruto would fit in. If anyone has any ideas, let me know.