Chapter 13:

The Carver Cafe was the the only sit down restaurant in Forks. It was a shabby little building with a tiny parking lot. Kids after football games to old people on date nights came to the Carver Cafe. It was a spacious and lively inside, wooden benches lined the walls and circular tables sat in the middle.

"Welcome to Carver Cafe! How many in the party-" the hostess stopped short at the sight of Bella, her brown eyes suddenly dark. "Hello Rosalie… Bella." her voice was curt. "I hope you're doing better."

The other patrons quieted down, noticing the two girls for the first time. Bella's cheeks flushed, painfully aware that every eye was on her.

"It's nice to see you Angela." Rose replied for the both of them.

The girl was tall, tanned skin, and black hair was pulled back into a low ponytail. She wore black glasses and had a narrow face and skinny build. It was obvious there was tension between the two of them and Bella couldn't remember for the life of her, what she had done now to piss the girl- Angela off.

"I suppose it's just the two of you?" she addressed Rose.

She nodded her head. "If it's not a problem we'd prefer a booth away from the… others."

Her eyes slid to Bella and quickly looked away. Her knuckles were white as she clenched the menu in her hands. "Of course, if you'd follow me."

People whispered and pointed as they passed. A man gave a short wave which Rose returned. His name tag read Demetri. They were seated at the far corner of the room, away from prying eyes and ears. It was only a short move so Bella didn't have any problems getting out of the chair but Rose hovered just in case.

Angela placed the menus down in front of them and stood awkwardly still. "My family prayed for you every night… I prayed for you. God is all about forgiveness so I took this as my sign that all of our past grievances should be forgiven, so I'm trying."

"Wha-"

She didn't give her a chance to speak and instead said, "you're waiter will be by shortly. I hope you have a good meal."

"What was that?" Bella gulped as soon as Angela was gone.

Rose pursed her lips and shook her head. "That's Angela Webber, the pastor's daughter. She's the sweetest person. The two of you used to be friends."

"What did I do?" her stomach twisted into a knot, suddenly not very hungry.

Rose sighed. "It wasn't only my brother and Jacob. You even managed to snag her boyfriend at a party. Yes, it was a one-night stand and you were drunk but Angela was absolutely humiliated. Everyone was talking about it."

"My memory… she doesn't know."

"No." hummed Rose. "Though I doubt that she'd change her mind about you."

"I hate this. I want to make it up to everyone, this is not who I am. Not now, anyways."

"Bella…"

"No." her voice hardened. "I need to know everything, Rose. You promised me."

She was quiet for once. Her lips pursed as she looked down at her lap, a flicker of insecurity flashed through her eyes. "We all have fucked up lives. You dealt with your mommy issues by partying and drinking-" and sleeping with random guys, "and I dealt with it by pushing all the pain to the back of mind and getting angry at people for no reason."

"I don't have mommy issues," Bella rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, leaning back in the seat. "I don't know what you're talking about-"
"Don't play dumb."

"My mind is messed up, remember?" she quirked an eyebrow.

"I thought you wanted to hear the truth but you're acting really childish right now. I don't have time for your games. Do you seriously want to know or not?"

"Yes." Bella sighed. "I'm sorry."

"What do you want to know?"

"I cheated on Edward-" several times "why?"

Rosalie sighed, brushing a strand of hair from her face and said, "I only know as much as you told me."

ooOoo

Perhaps she shouldn't have asked. Perhaps those memories were better left repressed, ignored. There were three separate incidents. Three different boys.

The first time it was Eric Yorki. Freshman year. It had been a mistake on her part. She caught Jessica Stanley making out with Edward at a party. She didn't know that Jessica had come onto him and he was trying to push her away. It was the day her mom died. Charlie had offered to take her back to Arizona for a long weekend but Bella refused. She wasn't good with showing her emotions, instead preferring to numb the pain. That's exactly what she did but perhaps drank a little too much.

Her mom was dead. Edward cheated on her. She reacted the on an impulse, quickly regretting sleeping with the kind boy and hurting Edward and Angela. Edward forgave her eventually and vice versa.

Then Sophomore year came and Charlie began dating Sue Clearwater. It wasn't that she didn't like Sue, she was a kind woman. But she couldn't forget her mother the way Charlie seemed to have done. It wasn't fair. The more time she spent on the Rez, the closer she became with Jacob. He wasn't the kid she used to know but she needed something to distract her from the fact that Sue Clearwater was likely to become her stepmother.

"It happened slowly," Rose sighed. "It started with you going over there with your once a week. Then the weekends, and then you were going by yourself almost every other day. Edward turned a blind eye, unwilling to admit what we were all thinking. You turned into a completely different person, Bella."

"Then I got pregnant."

"Yes."

That's when Jasper came into the picture. She didn't need to ask. Everything came back to her mom. The apple didn't fall far from the tree. She thought bitterly. Bella was making the same mistakes she had made.

"When did Alice start to hate me?"

"After the first time with Eric." she said. "It went downhill from there."

How much worse could it get? Her life was already one big train wreck.

"Charlie considered sending you away last year to this boarding school in Oregon for troubled teens. You'd already been arrested several times. Luckily, Carlisle was able to talk him out it. There's some research or something that shows boarding schools can make everything worse."

Her heart sank to the bottom of her stomach. Her own father had given up on her. Alice hated her. Edward didn't trust her and Rose… she didn't know what to think about her.

"Do you ever just want to run away? Get out of this fucked up town?" her eyes burned, tears threatening to fall. An A might as well have been branded onto her chest. Everyone already seemed to think that of her.

ooOoo

A week had passed since their conversation. Edward and her were on speaking terms again and Charlie spent most of the day at the station. One officer was always parked outside of her house and another at the end of the street. No one had come to visit in a while so that's why it was a shock when there was a sudden knock on the door.

Jacob Black stood on the other side, shirtless. Of course her eyes wandered to his six pack, him smirking in response. She blushed furiously, peeking through the crack in the door.

"What do you want?" she didn't leave time for chatter. Bella wanted to become a new person. A better person and that included leaving all of her bad habits behind… including Jacob.

"I was running through the neighborhood and thought I'd stop by." he shrugged. He ran his hand through his spiky hair, giving a cheeky grin.

"What are you really doing here?" she didn't believe him. "You treated me like shit before Jacob. What makes you think that I want to see you?"

He rolled his eyes, jaw clenched. "Look, Bella…" he sighed. "Can you just open up the door and we can properly talk?

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"Did your precious boyfriend get to you already? Fill your head with lies?" he glowered. "I'm not the bad guy here, Bella. I want to help."

She knew that she shouldn't have done it. She should've called Edward or Rose. She should've told Jacob to fuck off but he looked so desperate. He seemed sincere. Perhaps she was just a gullible person. Bella opened the door, allowing him inside. They went to the kitchen, him sitting down at the kitchen table.

"Would you like a drink?" she asked.

"Water, please."

She poured him a glass and sat down across from him. He said thank you, unable to look away from her.

"I wanted to apologize for before," he said. "I was a dick and said some things I shouldn't have."

Was she to believe him? He wasn't exactly the model citizen and everyone had warned her to stay away from him.

"It's been over two weeks." she said. "Why did it take you two weeks to come and apologize? If you cared then you would've came earlier."

"I wanted to give you time." he huffed. He gazed at her, his eyes pleading with her to understand what he was saying.

She bit her bottom lip, hands suddenly resting on her stomach. Oh- oh! Her eyes widened, the color draining from her face.

"You remember." his lips pressed into a thin line.

"How did you find out?" she couldn't keep the tremors out of her voice. "I thought I only told Jasper and Rosalie."

He shook his head, his eyes suddenly glossed over. "My older sister works at the clinic and was there the night you came in."

Sister? The confusion must have shown on her face.

"Rachel," he explained. "You never met her, she's four years older."

How could she be so stupid? Bella gulped down the rising bile in her throat as the room suddenly felt ten degrees cooler. How was she supposed to respond to this?

"I knew the baby was mine." he said through gritted teeth. "I just- there was just this feeling. I can't explain it. I know we're young but I wouldn't have abandoned you. I would've cared for and loved the child. I would've been a good dad. You could've come to me, Bella. Yes, I haven't made the best decisions but that doesn't mean I could change."

"I'm sorry-"

"Do you know what hurts the most?" his voice was thick. "You went to him. You went to Jasper Hale instead of me."

She covered her hand over her mouth, muffling the sound of her cries. She had hoped this would go away; that he wouldn't bring it up again.

"I loved you, Bella and I thought you loved me. But I guess I was just another one of your boy toys." his upper lip curled, forming into a sneer.

"Edward said-"

"What did he say?" a low growl escaped his throat. "That all we did was drink? Party? Every kid on the planet does that. He just didn't like how much time we were spending together."

"I love Edward." she whispered after a moment of silence.

"He's a prude."

Bella clenched her jaw, glaring at the stone faced man sitting across from her. It was impossible to believe that at some point she had loved him.

"I think it's time for you to go."

"Bella-"

"Now, Jacob."

ooOoo

Author's Note:

Hey everybody! I'm back, I know it's been a while! Thank you to everyone who's reviewed and liked this story, it means so much to me! All of your questions will be answered in time. I'm not sure when I'm going to update next but hopefully soon. I hope everyone's staying safe!