Hello everyone!
I hope you're all doing well. I'm sorry that it's been a while since my last update, but I hope this chapter makes up for it.
Enjoy!
Fear of the Unknown
"He's doing it again," Kurt said, standing in the doorway of Professor Xavier's office late one night, well after curfew.
Professor Xavier sighed, a pang of sadness in his chest. "Danger Room," he asked.
"Yes, sir."
"Go get Dr. McCoy, please." The blue mutant nodded, vanishing in a puff of smoke.
It had now been a week after Halloween. All damages to the Institute had been repaired, as if it had never happened. However, everyone, even those who were out trick or treating, knew what had happened, and were practically walking on eggshells. No more monsters appeared, but everyone still was wary and ready for one to appear. None more so than Jerry.
Jerry hadn't said a word since that night, and avoided being in large groups with people. Most of the time, he stayed in his room [he refused to go to school, and none of the adults made him go], listening to his playlist of music from beginning to end on repeat. When he did leave his room, he was always accompanied by a knight that silently followed him and stood nearby; he did not play the piano at all in the past week. No one questioned this out loud or asked him to send it away; if it made him feel safer, no one would take that from him.
Several times a day, even in the middle of the night, Jerry would go down to the Danger Room, taking his comforter and pillow with him. He would lay in the middle of the floor, wrapped in his blankets, and would project the night sky onto the ceiling above him. The knight sat nearby, as still as a statue, watching the autistic teen watch the stars. It was a peaceful scene, and after a while, Jerry would fall asleep. This sometimes became a problem if any of the other students needed to train, and after a week of having classes outside, some were starting to grumble, especially given the cold weather. Even his homework group [it was no longer a punishment for the Mr. Rogers fiasco] was getting annoyed, mainly because they had a test on To Kill A Mockingbird next week and had a lot of questions to ask Jerry.
Kurt and Hank McCoy reappeared in Professor X's office. "Jerry," the bigger blue mutant asked.
"Yes," Professor X. "I know it's late-"
"It's no problem," the scientist mutant agreed. "Danger Room?"
"Yes."
"I'm on it." Hank sighed. "If I may, Professor, it's been a week already and we're not making any progress."
"And some of the other students are complaining about not being able to train downstairs vhen they vant to," Kurt added. "And… I'm vorried too. Jerry sometimes leaves in the middle of the night, and he skipped mass this past Sunday; he never misses church."
"I know and I agree we need to do something," Charles Xavier said sadly. "We need to figure out how to move forward; if we let this go on any longer, it will become a habit, and Autistic children thrive off of habitual practices."
"But the trouble is getting Jerry to stop without upsetting him," Hank explained. "He's clearly worried about the monsters coming back."
"Vait, you said people vith Autism like habits," Kurt asked. "And don't they also become fixated on one thing for long periods of time?"
"Yes," the scientist replied. "He's currently fixated on what happened on Halloween to think of anything else."
"Then ve need something that vill occupy his attention and keep it," Kurt continued. "And I think I might have something that vould vork."
[]
"A musical," Jerry repeated, still looking up at the night sky.
"Yes," Hank said, sitting on the ground next to the teenage mutant in the Danger Room. "Your school is planning on putting on a production of Hairspray in early February. Auditions are a little over a week away, and rehearsals start after Thanksgiving break."
"Yeah, doesn't it sound fun," Kurt asked, wary of the knight that was watching him from a few feet away.
"Why would I do a musical," Jerry asked, finally looking in their general direction.
"Well… you're such a good singer," Hanks said, smiling a little. "And even if you don't want to perform on stage, they could probably use a piano player for the music."
"Kitty and Rogue were in the musical last year," Kurt added. "They vere really good, and are planning on auditioning for this musical as well, so you von't be alone."
"I've never been in one before," the Autistic teen said, squeezing the stress ball in one hand as he turned back to the sky above him. "It sounds like fun."
"Yeah, and it would probably be good for you," Hank continued. "Get back into school."
"But what if the monsters appear again," the mutant asked. "What if they appear on stage and hurt someone?"
Hank and Kurt exchanged worried glances. If Jerry continued to think about the monsters, the more likely they were to appear, and he would never be able to relax again. Even without saying anything, they both knew that right here and now, they needed to help Jerry get over his fears and help him move on; the time for waiting was done. Desperate, the scientist tried a new approach.
"That knight protects, you, right," he asked, pointing to the silver-clad knight that was keeping watch nearby.
"Yeah," Jerry said, nodding a little. "Makes me feel safe."
Kurt nodded, figuring he should say something. "Vell… it sounds like you're scared right now," he said, sitting down next to Jerry. "Mainly about something that may or may not happen. I understand vhat that is like; it is a scary feeling, not knowing the future." Jerry nodded, silent and thoughtful. "But God doesn't vant us to vorry about thing ve cannot control. He vants us to focus on the now and on Him, but He knows ve sometimes need help, which is vhy ve pray to Him for help."
"Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference," the other teen quoted. "Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time. My mom has that printed out and framed in our house."
"Exactly," Kurt said, grinning a little. "You cannot spend the rest of your life living in fear. Do you think God vants you to do that?"
The Autistic teen squirmed a little, a thoughtful expression on his face. The knight turned to face the teen, the helmet preventing Hank and Kurt from seeing what their face was like. Eventually, Jerry sat up, still wrapped in his blankets.
"I don't want to be scared," he said. "And the musical sounds like fun. But… it seems easy to be scared. I can't stop thinking about those bullies, and if I think about them too long-"
A low growl came from somewhere in the shadows, and the knight instant jumped up, sword drawn and shield ready. Jerry flinched, and his breathing started to quicken.
"Jerry," Hank said firmly, trying to get the teen's attention. "Jerry, look at me; focus on my voice." It took some coaxing, but the Texan slowly turned to face him, still looking frightened. The scientist held out his hand [not wanting to startle him], and the teen took it, holding it in a vice-like grip. "It's going to be okay. Nothing's going to hurt you."
"I-I-I know," Jerry stammered. "The k-knight will-"
"No, because you're not going to make the monsters appear," Hank interrupted gently. "You're going to send them away, and you won't let them bother you anymore."
"I… I c-c-can't," the teen said, flinching at another growl that came from the shadows. "I can't f-forget them."
"Even if you can't forget, you don't have to let them take control," Hank said. "Your mind is an amazing gift, and you have the ability and strength to not let scary memories keep you from living your best life now, and you don't have to be scared of losing control and hurting anyone. That is why you are here at the Institute in the first place; so you can learn how to control your powers and use them for good. You don't need a physical knight in order to be safe or keep other safe."
Looking briefly at the knight, Jerry nodded. "Y-Yes," he said. "So… what do I do?"
"Do not focus on the past; focus on the now. Look forward to the future, at how your hope and dreams are going to make you a better individual."
"Do not be afraid," Kurt quoted. "You are not alone in this."
Jerry nodded, closing his eyes with a look of concentration on his face. He almost seemed to be praying, and the two other mutants could only hope that he was taking their words to heart. There was a few more growls from the shadows, but they were suddenly cut off, as if silenced by an invisible muffler. The knight seemed to relax, lowering their sword and turning back to the Autistic teen. Seconds later, the soldier disappeared into thin air, along with the starry sky above them.
The Texan opened his eyes, which were a little teary. "They're not gone from my mind," he said slowly, "but they're staying in my mind. You're right; I'm not gonna focus on them anymore. I will focus on the future, I will audition for this musical, and I will not think about them anymore." He hesitated. "But… if I start to have trouble-"
"Ve'll be there for you," Kurt said, smiling at him. "All of us here at the Institute vill help you through it."
"And I'll continue to offer counseling, if you'd like," Hank said.
Jerry nodded, and let go of the mutant's hand, getting to his feet. "What time is it," he asked.
"Nearly midnight," Kurt answered.
"I should be going to bed; I have school tomorrow. And I have to ask Mr. Logan or Tabitha if they could drive me to confession tomorrow, since I missed mass on Sunday."
It almost surprised Hank and Kurt to see Jerry now acting as if nothing had happened. They were not upset by it, however; they had helped their friend overcome his fear, and he was clearly ready to go to school. However, as the Autistic mutant was about to leave, he suddenly stopped, he turned back to Kurt and Hank.
"Thank you for helping me," he said quietly, not looking either of them in the eye. "And.. I'm sorry for skipping school and keeping you up so late."
"It's fine," the scientist said kindly. "We're a family here; we would do anything to help you."
Jerry tilted his head to the side a little, a slightly confused expression on his face. "Family," he repeated.
"Yeah," Hank said. "Friends are also family, and everyone here at the Institute is family."
"So… who would you two be in the family," the Autistic mutant asked. "And who would I be?"
"Vell, I vould say Professor Xavier is the father," Kurt speculated. "Orroro's like a mother to everyone. The other teachers are uncles, and all the students are brothers and sisters."
"So we'd be brothers?"
"In a vay, yes."
Jerry looked around, a small smile on his face. "I've never had a brother before," he said. "And having a brother that can teleport is pretty cool."
"Yeah," the other teenage mutant agreed, smiling as well. "And you're an awesome roommate, too."
"Thank you." He nodded once. "Well, I have to go to bed. Goodnight." And on that note, he turned and walked out of the Danger Room, as if nothing had transpired between them.
Hank let out a huff of breath he wasn't aware of holding, and Kurt slouched a little too. "I'm glad we were able to get through to him," the scientist said, not sounding or trying to be mean; he was simply glad that Jerry was feeling better. "And he has enough talent to get into your school musical."
"Yeah," Kurt agreed. "I'm just glad I do not have to audition! Stages and me do not mix vell!" Laughing a little, the two mutants walked out of the Danger Room, turning off the lights behind them.