Chapter 13 : What he wants
For Harry Potter, spring was a weird balance between growing frustration, and the slow but steady return of happiness. For most of it, he admitted without a second thought, it was thanks to the presence of Hermione and Ron. As they started to develop a new pace together as roommates in his old house, Harry understood that it would be all different from what they knew before. First of all, Hogwarts provided meals, chores were done by House-elves (even though Kreacher was still here to help out, Hermione, and now Ron too, refused to let him do everything), and Ron and Hermione were now a couple sharing the same bedroom. But it all worked out just fine, much better than he would have believed. His friends seemed to have already develop some habits back in Australia, and they kind of just included Harry in it who did not need to say a word. He felt, at first, really awed by how none of the troubles he was expecting between Ron and Hermione were showing, until his best friend explained, one night over a game of chess, that they did have these issues back in Australia, almost from day one, and have already worked they way out of it. The maturity of his redheaded friend was surprising to say the least, but helped out a lot.
Hermione was restless, though. Once she came back from her trip to Hogwarts, satisfied by the outcome of her meeting with Headmistress McGonagall, she could not wait for the next fall without doing nothing. But while she spent most of her time diving into career options, writing letters to potential employers for jobs she would not start before another year, she quickly picked up on Harry unwillingness to discuss the topic. However, his discussions with Ron slowly started to get him out of his professional lethargy. The young Weasley seemed determined to put his notoriety to good use, and join the Auror Training Program as a superstar, despite his girlfriend reminding constantly that they still need to earn their spot fair and square.
"George still needs my help", he once explained, "but I cannot stay with him forever! He will have to hire someone else! He promised me that we look into it this summer. This way, we can apply for a spot in the program right now, so we could start in September when 'Mione's back at school."
The idea had some appeal to Harry, but that meant one thing for him : he would need to be finished with his little side project before then. And this was his biggest source of frustration. His updated list had now only two remaining names : Lucius and Draco Malfoy. The month of May half-way done, and he still had no idea how to approach them. Should he tried to pick them one by one, or try to literally kill two blond birds with one sharp stone. Should he keep trying to find a way in their manor, or lure them out when they're still supposed to be on house arrest?
The other source of his frustration was a pretty redhead known as Ginny Weasley.
"Ginny my dear,
I hope you are doing okay. It's been more than two weeks without a letter from you. I know, you told me your were drowning in homework and preparation for the NEWTs, and your final match of the year. But we both know the Cup is already won for you, and that you will ace those exams with an arm tied in the back.
We haven't seen each other since your last match like six weeks ago, and we barely got time to spend together. I miss you. I want to see you.
I know the year is almost over and I could just wait two more months, but honestly I don't think I can take it, and you will probably see me barge in your classroom with McGonagall trying to stop me. And she won't, ahah.
If things are as usual, you should have a last trop to Hogsmeade soon, even though you haven't mentioned it yet. If so, could we maybe spent some time together there?
Please tell me.
Love you,
Harry."
"Dear Hermione,
How are you doing? It was such a pleasure to see you again last month at the game! I missed you guys so much! (Don't go say that to my brother, please!)
I am sorry that I didn't write more before, but you know how things are when exams are closing in. And I am every more sorry to write "just" to ask for you help.
It's about Harry, as you might guess. You always guess everything, anyway. I don't know if you're the best one to ask for relationship advice, since of all the men you could have had, you went for the ugliest of my brothers (it's a joke, don't hex me!), but the only one who knows Harry more than you is Ron, and there's not a chance in the world I'm asking HIM.
Anyway, jokes and teasing aside, I don't really know what to do. I keep telling him that I'm really busy, but the truth is, I'm just scared and I end up not being brave enough to answer his letter. Way to go for a Gryffindor...
I do not doubt my feelings for him, those have been very clear to me since, well, since I'm eleven, and I don't really doubt his feelings for me, so at least that's that, but it's much more subtle and insidious. I just don't know what he wants. He hasn't asked me what I'm planning to do after school. Not once. I don't think for a second that he doesn't care, so maybe he just... hasn't thought about it? I have no idea if he's expecting me to come moving with him or not? Are we supposed to roommates with you? I don't know.
I know I could just ask him, but that leads me to the next problem, the one I'm really scared of. Even though I should not be, I keep telling myself. What I'm about to tell you, I haven't told anybody just yet. Not Ron, not Harry, not my parents, so please, not a word to anyone for now.
I have been contacted by the coach of the HolyHead Harpies ! She wants to come for the tryouts and maybe join the team! I could be playing with Gwenog Jones ! Do you imagine that? Ron would just drop dead! As you can tell, I really, really want to go. The tryouts are in July, shortly after the end of school, and if I'm taken, the season's preparation would start as soon as the first of August... in Wales. And all team members are required to live onsite during the preparations, which lasts until the end of September. And then, well... the life of a professional athlete isn't the most quiet. I have no idea how to tell Harry, how he would react...
Maybe I'm worried for nothing, and this long-ass letter is worthless, but I can't help but think that he just wants to have some time for us, and I might just let him down, that our relationship might not survive me being gone another two months...
What do you think?
Love,
Ginny,"
"Luna my friend,
How are you doing? Still good, even with the exams so soon? I know I don't write often, you and I never did really (I'm a bad friend, I know.) but I'm getting worried about Ginny.
She is not answering my letters, and this is starting to drive me insane. I was about to write to the Headmistress before I thought it might be far less stupid to ask you first.
Is she alright? Did I do anything wrong?
I feel so silly writing and asking this, but I have to.
Your friend,
Harry"
"Dear Harry,
You're a great friend, and you know it. However, you could maybe be a more trusting boyfriend. You know Ginny, if you had done anything wrong, she would have told you.
She's fine, do not worry.
We will see you soon.
Luna Lovegood".
"Ginny,
What an amazing news ! I'm so happy for you, so proud of you! And you deserve nothing less ! It was so hard to hide my reaction, because Ron was just next to me when I opened your letter ! But your secret is safe. Please don't wait too long to share it, because it's really worth celebrations!
As for Harry, he should better be nothing less than ecstatic for you! Otherwise I will teach him some good manners myself! But I don't worry too much about it, you know how he is. Always putting others before himself. But I do understand your doubts, this gentleman has never been very good with communication, and even less with romantic relationships. I would just advice to talk with him, maybe face to face if you have the opportunity. Shutting him out is just going to make things worse for sure, he will start to assume things. We know how he is...
I will not comment on my taste in men. Especially not with a girl who dated Corner and Dean Thomas ! But I still love you! *smile*
You can always write to me if you need anything.
Keep me posted.
Your friend,
Hermione"
"Harry my love,
Sorry for not answering earlier. There were many things happening, and I needed a bit of time to think them through.
You are right, there is a last trip to Hogsmeade planned in three weeks, a bit before our exams start. I was not really considering going because I wanted to revise my lessons as much as possible, but you're right. Let's meet there! I need to see you as well; we'll have a lot to discuss.
I know how it sounds, but no needs to get all wrapped-up. I'm not planning to break-up with you, very far from it. But we do have some topics to discuss, which I'd rather do with you, rather than by letters.
So let's meet there in three weeks! At our usual spot! I really do miss you, even if all the work we have does its best to distract me from it. This date can't come soon enough!
On a side note, please don't involve Luna in this! I get why you wrote to her, and thanks Merlin she is way too nice to tease me about it, but I felt really awkward when she mentioned it. I guess I have my share of blame to bear for not answering you, tough.
I need to get back to my notes now. McGonagall is relentless this year, I think she's having a hard time handling both her job as Professor and Headmistress, so it's twice more readings for us to do.
I love you,
Ginny"
Harry was sitting at his desk, reading the letter again and again. He was not really sure what to think. Ginny clearly hid things from him, but seemed ready to share it, so that was a good thing. But he could not put aside the fear. Trust in her, he keeps reminding himself, trust in her, but his own words could barely reach his heart. He would have to wait three weeks...
They went by pretty fast, by his own account. His focus on his last two targets took most of his time, even if they were still unreachable for now. But at least, he had a couple of ideas he could try to follow-up on. He also spent some time with Ron and George, helping them out at the store before George would close for his two-weeks holidays with his girlfriend, and preparing his application for the Auror Training Program with Ron and the help of Arthur Weasley. He also finally took the time to talk with Sorenson, whom plan for the future of the Law Enforcement Department finished to convince him. With Sorenson and Ron by his side, Harry would be able to change things for the better, make the country a better and safer place, or so he started to believe.
Just like he was doing right now by getting rid of the Death Eaters. One of the truths behind his decision was that, if push came to shove, he might be able to work from the inside to discard any doubts it people started looking in the wrong place about all those dead or missing criminals...
It became even more critical and plausible when he read the morning newspaper on one Tuesday morning.
Bloodbath in Azkaban: an Auror under Imperium?
According to a new report issued yesterday evening, the progress made in this sordid affair we reported a month ago unveiled some frightening events.
Indeed, the murder weapon, a muggle pocket knife barely longer than a pinkie, was found to be smuggled by a Senior Auror, who went to meet the culprit just days before his rampage. The Auror, whom name is still unmentioned while the investigations are pending, seems to have no recollection of the events whatsoever.
This revelation lead to the main theory that the member of the Law Enforcement have been subject to the Imperius Curse, the Obliviate, or more likely, both. This raises one terrifying question : who today would be bold enough to target an experienced Auror to do such bidding?
John Wolf, for the Daily Prophet.
Harry felt a weird sensation going through his spine, a cold sweat mixed with an irrational panic, but he managed to keep it in check. After all, he knew how the Ministry worked, or at least used to work. If they had any suspicions, he would have been brought in already. He had only two days left before his date with Ginny, and he had some plans to put in motion before the big day. A couple of letters here and there, and he was ready to go.
Hogsmeade was rather hot on this late spring day. The afternoon's sun was hitting on his head and he was already sweating, despite wearing only a light summer shirt. He knew Ginny had been there for a good part of the afternoon but the date was planned for the evening and he had to handle the last details of his plan. So when he walked in the Three Broomsticks Inn, he was not surprised by the wave of sound, cheers, laughs that crashed against him. Even if the Hog's Head had gain a much better reputation since it became known that it was the place of the D.A's creation, and that it had become of Harry and Neville's favorite place to grab a drink together, Madam's Rosemerta's place was the only one big enough to hold everyone, and to be honest, the only one offering what Harry wanted the most : proper rooms.
When Ginny saw him, the smile that brightened her face warmed his heart and killed all the fears that walked in with him. She kissed him without a word and her hands tightened behind his back, pulling him closer.
"Well, hello to you too my dear. I missed you."
Her kisses would not leave his lips alone for more than a minute, to a point where it actually worried him. Again. And it all vanished, again, when their friends finally joined. Neville, Hannah, Luna, even the young Johanna who, once again, had done an amazing job with her expert make-up skills on his girlfriend. After a couple of hours of laughs and good talks, when the tavern started to empty, Ginny pulled him to a table when they would finally have a bit of peace.
"So I guess this is finally the moment where you tell me what's been going on."
"Yeah" she sighed, "sorry about it. I guess you waited all afternoon..."
"All past three weeks, you mean" he laughed. "But yes I have. So spill the beans, love."
She took a deep breath, both her hands on the table, slightly sticking to the wood.
"I had three weeks to prepare my speech, even more, but I still don't know how to approach it, I'm pathetic."
Harry said nothing, just waited for her to resume.
" I didn't know what to do. After Hogwarts, I mean. Not a single bloody clue, just the idea of working at the Ministry like Percy or Dad made me sick. Then, a month ago, I got a contact from the Harpies... They wanted me to go for the tryouts, next month, after the exams."
"Ginny, that's amazing! You'd be playing with ! You have to go! I can't believe you didn't tell me earlier, that's incredible!"
"I'm so relieved you feel that way..." She smiled. "Because I already said yes. 10th of July, they're expecting me!"
Harry grabbed her hand with a grin to show his approval, until something troubled his mind.
"Wait... that's it? That's what you've been scared to tell me?"
She darkened and pulled her hand back.
"It's in Wales, Harry, and if I'm taken, I would have to live here with the team for preparation, for at least two months... "
"Ah. Well, I mean... It would be a very small price to pay for a chance like that! We can wait an extra month, not a problem!"
Her smile came back, but tainted by a small hint of sadness.
"Harry... Why have you not asked me to come and live with you?"
Potter was taken aback. It's not something he had expected, far from it. Being honest to himself, he hadn't thought about it. The whole situation felt like it would just last forever, no matter how silly it sounded. He had lived with Ron and Hermione for so long, at Hogwarts, on the run, in his own house... He never thought a fourth part would join the party, although it made complete sense, even more now that his friends were living the couple life.
"I... I..."
Fuck, what was he supposed to say now?
"Yes of course I would like you to join us at Grimmauld Place! I would like nothing more..."
"But...?" she pressed, so sure something else would come up.
"But I'm stupid. I just thought it was obvious, that it was a given, and never thought that I should ask you... I'm sorry."
It was basically the first lie that came to his mind, but it was good enough for Ginny to buy it. She chuckled.
"Stupid indeed. But sweet. But I have to ask, are you expecting us to live with Ron and Hermione? Long-term, I mean?"
"I dunno... maybe? I don't want to cast them out, so..."
Ginny frowned, visibly not quite happy with this answer.
"But I think they are currently talking about taking a place on their own!" Harry quickly added. "At least once Ron starts getting paid... Listen, Gin. I haven't given much thoughts. I just want you with me, I didn't really thing about all the logistic behind it, I'm sorry. But I guess it doesn't really matter know, does it ? You're going to Wales anyway".
Ginny's face darkened, and her voice almost turned into a growl.
"You don't get to be mad at me for this..."
Harry raised his hands in surrender.
"Wo wo wo! Easy tiger, I didn't mean that as a bad thing! It's just a statement, and I'm behind you all the way! But the fact is you're going to Wales, at least for a couple of months. So do that, and then we'll see. Maybe you'll be part of the team straight away and will want to keep living over there ! And maybe I'll join you!".
She remained silent, so he added:
"Look, I'm all set. I got the house, money, and the training program in September. So you do you. Go and make the team. And then you'll tell me what you want to do, and I'll be there."
She leaned forward and kissed him gently, before asking :
" But what do YOU want?"
"I want you. Right here right now."
She blushed just a bit, but smiled, knowing fully well what he meant.
"Harry, be serious!"
"Oh but I am. Come with me!"
He got up, chugged down his remaining Butterbeer in one go, and grabbed her hand, pulling her toward the stairs. She protested a bit, drawing the attention and an inquisitive look from Neville, but she ended up laughing, as Harry dragged her to the biggest room the second floor had to other. He opened the door, and pushed her on the bed, closing the door behind him.
"Harry! We can't!"
"Sure we can! After all, I rented the room until tomorrow..."
"Wha..."
She didn't get to finish, as Harry pressed his lips against hers, strongly, tackling her against the soft pillow, and already slipping his hand under her summer robe, slowly but surely reaching for her breasts, revealing her shorts and sport shirt underneath. She let him do for a bit, until she decided it was moving too slowly for her taste. She pushed him back, got up and took the robe off before his shirt, then grabbed his belt.
"Not so hesitant after all" he smiled.
"Shut up, you moron. You sure no one can come in?"
"I'm sure."
"Good. Take it off."
No arguments here, he thought, as his pants fell down on the floor. It wasn't the first time he was watching Ginny undressing, but hell after that many months it was just as good. Her bra was barely off when his lips were already around her nipples, pulling moans out of her throat. They got loader and loader as he started nipping at them with his teeth and his finger were doing a number on her, down there. She could think of much, but her right hand still found its way to his masculinity. Still standing, they kept touching each other until her legs started to give up. She took a step back, involuntarily, and it get him even more excited. He pushed her against the bricks, face to the wall, and she did not fight back. His right hand on her buttcheek, his left hand on her throat, both squeezing firmly, spreading just enough so he could enter her. Her gasp was quickly followed by a giggle of pleasure. His movement were quick and rough, but spaced, and she answered each and every one of them by pushing back against him, until her knees started give in. She moved to the side and let herself fall on the bed, face first. Harry lied against her, his chest against her back, his lips on her neck, his fingers through her hair until he grabbed it and pulled it roughly. He got into her again, and kept exact slow but violent pace.
"That's right" she whispered, almost to herself. "Take what you want... Take me..."
The sun was set for a good moment now. Ginny jumped out of the bed, panicked and still naked. She had dozed off against Harry's skin quite rapidly after they were done, and the reality had just caught up with her.
"Fuck! I need to go! McGonagall's gonna give me a lifetime of detention for this!"
"No you don't." Harry's voice was calm, settled. He had been awake for a while, just waiting for Ginny to wake up. The patience he had built while stalking his preys clearly changed the perception of time for him. He explained.
"I cleared everything with McGonagall. We'll spend the night here, and Madam Rosemerta should be bringing us dinner in just a few minutes."
"Wha..What? Really? How did you do that? She always said no exceptions! For anything!"
"Well, she will this time!"
The choice of term "will" instead of "did" really worried her at this moment, but before she could voice her concerns, a knock on the door made her jump. She rushed to the sheets to grab it and wrap it around her to hide her nudity. Harry laughed.
"Just a moment, Rosmerta! Thanks!"
He jumped in his trousers, and opened the door once Ginny was comfortably hidden.
"Aha, perfect" he smiled. " That smells like heaven. You'll need to teach me a bit, Madam!"
The young redhead did not understand what the tenant answered, but she forgot all about it when Harry turned back into the room, holding a trail with a feast on it, smelling indeed absolutely delicious. Her stomach growled like a raging demon, and her hunger took priority over everything else...
As the night went by, they laughed and drank a lot, had sex at least another couple of time before morning lights, and Ginny spent one of the best night in her life, despite the lack of sleep and her protests about having to work for her upcoming exams. The worst part was, without a doubt, when Harry had to drag her out of bed at 7.00am to bring her back to school, though she forgave him quickly when he brought a platter with hot toasts for breakfast.
"Mister Potter?" hailed Rosemerta as they were about the leave the inn. "Mister Potter, wait! I received an owl from Headmistress McGonagall early this morning, for you."
She handed him the letter, which he opened with a frown. What did the old owl have to say? He grunted at the end of the short letter and took Ginny's hand, without a word.
"Wait! What is it about?" she asked, rushing after him. "What did she say?"
"Nothing. We just have to go to her office before your first class!"
Ginny paled but said nothing, too focus on not falling behind him or stumbling on a rock. It might be closer to summer, but the morning was still very fresh and the run was freezing her legs under her robe. She was getting worried about McGonagall for sure, but even more about the fact that Harry might have lied to her. This would surely ruin her memories of this amazing night, but the look on Harry's face dissuaded her from asking any question, at least for now. He seemed angry, and confused.
It hadn't occurred to Harry that he hadn't set foot inside the castle since the battle a year ago. If most of the traces were now erased, he took no time to notice it. His mind was set on Minerva McGonagall. Some kids whispered around him, as did some of Ginny's classmates, curious to understand what was happening as they saw their hero dragging her through the hallways at full speed. The only word Ginny ended up saying before sitting in front of her Headmistress was the password to her office.
"Good Morning, Miss Weasley. Mister Potter. It's nice to see you again within these walls".
Despite her cordial welcoming, her voice was cold as ice. While Ginny returned her salutation as politely as possible, Harry chose to simply nod, without opening his month, drawing a deep frown out of Minerva. She did not let the silence settle and kept on.
"Mister Potter, while I appreciate the fact that you warned me about your plans for Miss Weasley yesterday, you do understand that it was really short notice, too short in fact for me to decline and remind you that this was highly against the rules."
Ginerva's blood ran cold within her veins. So Harry had not completely lied, but he still went through without the official approval. She did not know what to think of it, especially as she was now dreading the consequences. Her boyfriend, however, still remained silent, but her mind could almost imagine the magical energy building around him alongside his anger.
"Now, what should I do with you?" asked the old teacher. " From your letter I understand that Miss Weasley was not aware of these plans, but she did know the rules nonetheless."
"You will do nothing, Minerva".
The tone of his voice was so sharp and unexpected that the young redhead almost jumped out of the leather seat, especially as those were the very first, he addressed to his former Head of House.
"I think you misunderstood my letter", Harry carried on. "This was not a request, this was a notification, out of courtesy and respect for you, our common past, and the position that you hold."
McGonagall's mouth stayed opened, half-way between shock and a severe comeback only she could make, but got stopped. He wasn't finished.
"So Ginny's going to join her friends for class, you and I can have a nice cup of tea and talk about the good old time before everything went to shit, if you wish, but that is all you will do about that topic."
"Mister Potter... Don't think that I do not know nor understand what you have been going through for the past years. But that does not put you above the rules."
Harry leaned forward, and articulated, his voice louder at each word until the last one was only a scream.
"Oh yes, it absolutely DOES ! You all owe me, us, EVERYTHING! "
He took a deep but short breath, like he had been running.
"We saved you! You were supposed to protect us! Help us! Not having us do your dirty work! Ron, Hermione and I had to live on the run for a goddamn year, because you could not do your FUCKING JOB! Ginny, Neville, kids, they were tortured within these very walls, and you did NOTHING! You just gave your fucking classes like it was nothing! We lost so much! So fucking much! I lost everything ! My parents! My Godfather! My childhood and my chance for a normal life! The only thing I really got out all of this shitshow is Ginny! Now if you think you can get in my way, I will slaughter you like... "
"Harry, No!" screamed Ginny.
He did indeed stop, but not because of her scream. He stopped because he realized at the last second that he was about to give the wrong name.
"..Voldemort."
Ginny was so shocked by the outburst of hate and anger that she was now standing a meter away from her chair. Minerva McGonagall, however, seemed weirdly calm. After a couple of second waiting for Harry to catch his breath, she gently answered :
"I'm sorry, Harry. I never thought you would feel that way. And I probably should have. As much as I should have done more to protect you, and everyone you love. Don't think that I do not blame myself for my weakness everyday. Ginny, my dear, would you mind leaving Mr Potter and I alone? We obviously have some matters to talk through, and I would not want to keep you off your last classes."
She hesitated, and looked a her boyfriend.
"You sure? Will you be alright?"
He sighed.
"Yes, I will be. Sorry for yelling, Ginny... I'm.. Please go, she's right. Don't miss your classes."
She summoned all her good will and smiled.
"Alright. At least stick around until lunch then."
"I will. See you later, Gin".
A long kiss, despite the silent presence of her Headmaster, and she was gone, heart still quite heavy.
"Is it really what you want, Harry?" finally asked McGonagall. "Privilege and recognition for what you did?"
He sighed, again. He felt so tired, suddenly.
"Of course not. You know me, Professor, I don't care about that... Sorry I took it out on you. All I want, for once, is just to be happy for a bit without anyone trying to ruin that or take it away from me. I'm just so tired of having to fight for every little scrap of happiness... I something feel like i just want to shred anyone in my way into pieces..."
Against his expectations, she actually smiled at him, one of her rare but so heartwarming smile.
" Trust me, Harry. I know this feeling very well. More than I'd like it to be true. But this the very difference between us and them, isn't it?"
Harry faked his best smiled.
"Yeah, I guess..."
"Dear Hermione,
How are you doing? I miss you! And Ron, but just a little bit. Don't tell him!
I just wanted to thank you again for your help with my little doubt phase. As you said, talking with Harry was just the best solution, and he was nothing but supportive, so there will be no need to teach him your good manners.
Also, I don't know if you were aware of it or not, but he had planned an amazing surprise at the Three Broomsticks! We had an amazing night!
However, the morning after... We had a run with McGonagall. She wanted to talk to us (and probably punish me) for our little escapade, and Harry just... exploded. I've never seen him like this! Especially toward someone like McGonagall! I mean, she's on our side, always has been, and he treated her like she was his mortal enemy... It was terrifying... Honestly, I have no idea how it ended up alright in the end... I hope this talk with her actually did him some good, because it really seems like he needed it.
I don't know what to do of it, but perhaps you will...
Love,
Ginny,"
A/N : Hi all ! It took some time to get this one one, mostly because of well deserved vacations =) Also, I tried at hand at something new (sex scene), hoping it's good enough. Tell me what you think. We're getting closer to the end, so stick around !