Chapter 12
-For Fucks Sake, Just Tell Me What's Wrong With You-
Craig's P.O.V.
During Lunch, I sat next to Tweek. Something about him was off. He wasn't drinking coffee. Mega red flag there. When Tweek said he's on Ritalin, I knew that he was lying. As Clyde recalled, everyone in 4th grade took Ritalin because some unqualified doctors prescribed us Ritalin. I remember being on Ritalin. I remember Tweek on Ritalin. He wasn't this calm. There had to be another factor into this. I'm certainly not going to stop until I find an answer that seems about right.
When the Lunch bell rang, I walked Tweek to his next class. Well, he sorta led the way, and I just pushed people out the way. I don't care if Tweek and I had different classes. I don't care if my class was on the other side of campus. I don't care if I was late. I only cared that Tweek was back right in front of me. I'm never letting him leave my sight again. I mean that in a strictly straight friendly way.
Look, I'm not opposed to the idea of being gay. I actually have thought about it, but then again, I thought about it back in 4th grade when I was fake dating Tweek. My dad was pretty upset that I was "gay", so after the buzz about Tweek and I died down, we parted ways as "partners" and just remained friends. Fake dating Tweek made me realize that if I were gay, I'd definitely date Tweek. He's been there for me since he came here. Sure, we had that fight back then, but we were instigated by Stan's group. Not to mention, we were also very naive. Tweek's a special kind of person. I don't mean physically, I mean by his heart and stuff. He's the only one who knows that I have a soft spot. It's hard keeping up the 'asshole' attitude, so Tweek, once in awhile, helps me loosen up. Not in that way. You get what I mean.
Once Tweek walked into his class, the 4th period bell rang. I shoved my hands into my front pocket and started to make my way to my class. That was until I heard two people talking. I peered around the corner to see Butters and Kenny conversing.
"You let Tweek kiss you?" Butters uttered. "No! Hun. He kissed me. I swear, I told him that I only see him as a friend. I love you and only you." Kenny argued. "Oh gee, Kenny. I share the same feelings, it's just.. It's hard because Tweek is.. Tweek. You know? I don't wanna break the poor fella. Maybe, you should just date him?" Butters looked down at his hands and fumbled them around. "No. I will not. Tweek is nothing but a friend. Besides, who could like a spaz like him?" Kenny stated as he brushed his Butters face with his fingers. My blood was boiling. Tweek kissed Kenny? Tweek doesn't just go around kissing people unless he actually cares about them. He said it himself! I bet Kenny forced himself onto Tweek. That fucking sleaze-
"Don't say that bout Tweek, Kenny! Anyone would be lucky to date the fella." Butters said. It was typical of Butters to always see the positive side of anything really. Even though it was most likely Kenny's fault Tweek kissed him, Butters still thought Tweek was a good kid. I mean anyone in the right mind would think Tweek was a good kid. He couldn't hurt a fly! Even if he tried!
"Listen. All you need to know is that, Tweek would be a bother between the both of us. If it makes you feel better, I'll stop hanging out with him. Okay? Just to prove I love you." Kenny added. "Well, gee. Don't stop hanging out with him. Just.. keep your distance for a while." Butters said. At that point, I had heard enough. I straightened my posture and walked past the two blondes as if I didn't hear their conversation. Kenny turned his gaze to my walking figure and called out my name. "Tweek got to ya?" He asked. I just nodded.
If I said a word to him, I'd lose my shit. I continued to walk to my class. Once I was there, I was greeted by a multitude of stares. I flipped them off. The teacher didn't seem to mind that I was late, so I just made my way to an empty seat before I got caught. As class went on, I couldn't help but think about Tweek and Kenny. How does Tweek feel? Was that the reason why he didn't reach out to me? Was that the reason why he was so quiet during lunch? If only I had known what was going through the kid's head, I would've been there in no time to save him from Kenny. I should've known that all the "nice" gestures Kenny was doing for Tweek was because he wanted something outta him. One thing is for sure, I needed to talk to Tweek.
Once the homeroom bell rang, I quickly gathered my stuff and walked out of the class in hopes of catching up with Tweek. If it didn't click for you yet, we don't have any classes together this year. We usually just meet before class, after class, and during lunch. I saw him walking with Clyde, so I made my way towards them and crept up behind Tweek and covered his eyes. "Guess who?" I whispered into his ear. "Craig." Tweek giggled. "Damn, you're getting better at this, Tweek." I smiled. I started to walk beside Tweek as the three of us made our way to Token's car. Knowing Token, he would already be there. I was proven right when I saw his familiar figure leaning against his car. "No date with Molly?" Token asked. "Not today. Or at least, I don't think so?" I shrugged. I haven't checked my phone the whole day. Who knows what Molly's up to?
"You should probably text her Craig." Tweek added as he got into Token's car. I did the same and placed my bag in the middle seat. "I can't be bothered." I said as I buckled up. Clyde and Token made their way into the car in their respective seats. "Can I come over, Tweek?" I asked the boy next to me. He looked at me as he put his bag on top of mine. "Sure I don't mind." He answered. "Sweet." I smiled at him. He returned a smile and quickly turned away. As Token pulled out of his driveway, I grabbed my phone from my left back pocket. I turned on the screen and was greeted with 7 missed calls and 21 messages from Molly. I clicked on her contact and texted her a quick 'Hey, sorry again. Wasn't on my phone the whole day.' She quickly replied with a slew of angry text messages. From what I could tell, she wanted to go on a date today, but I didn't reply to her sooner. She said that her day was ruined and that I had to make up for it tomorrow or else. I didn't really know what the "or else" part was but I don't really care.
I slipped my phone back into my pocket and listened to the conversation that Clyde and Token started. This time they were arguing about which coffee house was better: Harbucks or Tweek Bros. Tweek wasn't offended by the remarks that Token had about his parent's business. Frankly, Tweek agreed with most of what Token said. Clyde, of course, wouldn't back down even though it seemed like it was 2 against 1, and I still can't be bothered to help the poor guy.
Once Token parked outside of Tweek's house, Tweek and I hopped out of the car and thanked him. Tweek made his way to the front door and opened it with ease. Another red flag. Tweek never opened the front door on the first try. He would struggle for 3 minutes before he'd manage to twist the key into its correct direction. It was something I noticed every single time I went over to his house. Nevertheless, the door was open.
We removed our shoes and placed it beside the doorway. "Stay here. I'm gonna go fix my room first." Tweek said as he put his satchel on his couch. "Why? I've been to your room multiple times." I asked. "Please just stay here." He said as he walked up the stairs. So I did. I'm just gonna go on a limb that Tweek was hiding something from me. I mean why else would he fix his room?
After he gave me the clear, I walked up to his room and placed my backpack near his door. His room was still the same as last time I was here. The same pile of clothes was near his cabinet. His water bottle was still on his nightstand. I wonder what he "cleaned" up. I made my way to the floor space in front of the bed. Tweek saw that as a sign of our talk. Once he was on the edge of his bed, I laid my head on his knees. He removed my chullo and started to massage my scalp. "What seems to be the problem?" Tweek asked in a therapist tone. "You kissed Kenny?" I asked. My eyes were still open; I wanted to see his full reaction. He didn't reply immediately. When he did, he asked how I knew. "I heard Kenny and Butters talk in the hallway." I said. "Uhm, well, yeah.. I did." He whispered while breaking our eye contact. "Did he force himself onto you?" I asked. I did all that I could to keep my cool. I needed to show Tweek that I was there for him. "No.. I, uh, made the move." He uttered. "Craig.. Uhm. I'm gay." Tweek admitted. I fell silent.
Tweek's gay? How come he never told me? All this time he spent with Red.. he was gay? Did he lie to me? Why- "I don't care. I still love you the same, Tweek." I smiled softly at him. His facial features softened. He no longer had a panicked expression plastered on his face. "You do?" He asked. "I do." I reassured him. "So.. Red was your beard?" I joked. "Oh shut up, I only did that because I thought you would think that I was still hung up on you. Which, by the way, I'm not. I'm totally not gay for you. I'm just gay." He stuttered. "Chill, chill, Tweek. I'm not against you being gay for me." I smiled. He turned red. "You're not? What bout-" I interrupted Tweek. "I was joking, Tweek. Again, I still love you the same." I admitted. He smiled down at me and stroked my hair. "Speaking of Molly.." Tweek changed the subject.
I told Tweek about how I felt about Molly and I. Honestly, being with Molly was exhausting. I don't remember if it was like this with Wendy or Heidi. I told him how I felt drained every time I opened a message from her. I told him about how every call that I had with her felt like I was going to die. I told him how I felt about having high sex with Molly was not at all that I expected. You probably didn't see all of this coming. From me, especially. I think I told you before that Tweek is the only one who can handle my problems. However, I'm not sure if it's the same for Tweek.
"Tweek?" I asked with my eyes closed as he ran his fingers through my hair. "Yes?" He responded. "Do I handle your problems too?" I asked. It came out weird, but he understood. "Yeah, in a way." He said. "No I mean like.. Do you tell me all of your problems?" I asked. He paused. He sighed. "Craig. No, I don't." He stopped stroking my hair. "What's wrong, Tweek?" I asked. I pulled away from his body and sat next to him on his bed. "I've been taking Xanax." He admitted. To say that I was upset was an understatement. Alongside Kenny, I had fought with Tweek and his parents about the idea of Tweek taking Xanax. It's not good for him. Yeah, it keeps him calm, but it's destroying him.
"Did Richard put you on again?" I asked. "No. I-i" I heard him sniffle. Was it that bad? I had to do something about it.
I turned Tweek to face me as I grabbed his sides softly and lifted him onto my lap. I made him face me as he dropped his head onto my shoulder. He started to cry heavily. His tears soaked my sweater, but I didn't care. I stroked his hair softly and cooed him like a baby. Once he simmered down from crying, he lifted his head up from my shoulder and placed his chin on it. "I put myself on Xanax again. I thought that maybe if I learned how to control my antics, other people would treat me differently.. Like they'd actually take me seriously. I thought that you'd want a break from me being so dependent on you." He spoke out through his tears.
"Oh, Tweek, honey.. I'm okay with you being dependent on me. It makes me think that I have a purpose in life. Not that taking care of you would be my whole life's purpose, but.. For the time being, yes. You being dependent makes me feel whole. It sounds super.. Weird, but I prefer you being off Xanax because that's the Tweek I know and love. However, if you want to stay on it, I understand that. Just know that you shouldn't care what people think. You should only care what you think." I spoke.
"What if I don't know what to think? I have voices in my head telling me what to do-" I cut him off by holding his small face in my hands. I looked into his eyes and saw nothing but tears and sadness. As much as I tried, I gave him a look of compassion. I kissed his forehead softly. "Then tell me what the voices say, and I'll tell you whether or not it's right or wrong." I spoke. He softened. He let his face drop into the palms of my hands and closed his eyes. "Thank you, Craig." He spoke. "Anything for you, Tweek." I responded.
He looked so stress free when he let his face rest on my hands. It was like looking at a soft puppy. His eyelashes touched his prominent eye bags. He slowly opened his eyelids and made quick eye contact with me before pulling away. "Uh, sorry. I just felt-" I interrupted him. "It's okay, Tweek. I didn't mind. You looked so comfortable." I smiled. "I was.. Uhm.. are you hungry? I can make hashbrowns?" He offered. "Hmm. I'm not that hungry-" I felt my phone buzzing in my pocket. I pulled out the device and saw that Molly was calling me. Tweek got off my lap.
I clicked the decline button and looked up at the blonde. "Hash browns?" I asked. His face lit up and nodded while grabbing my hand. "Come on!" He smiled and pulled me out of his room.