Don't chapter 13

Hinata felt immobilized, but at the same time couldn't stop fidgeting. He was trying to comprehend all the events of the day. His head was spinning and making over-hours processing everything. This day had not gone as planned at all.

When he woke up this morning he decided to skip school because every part of his body hurt too much. There was no one going to miss him anyway. The problem was that his dad didn't have to go to work today. Hinata had been as silent as possible, making sure that his dad wouldn't notice he was at home. The moment when he left the house, Hinata saw his change and ran downstairs to grab some food.

And of course at that moment the doorbell rang and Kageyama was standing there. The setter looked like he just saw a ghost — although Hinata had to admit that he probably hadn't looked at his best at the moment. For a second Hinata had wondered why the teen had decided to show at his house all of a sudden — after all Hinata wasn't part of the volleyball team anymore, which meant that Kageyama had no reason to care about him — but he didn't really have time to ask him. Mostly because Kageyama himself looked like he was going to faint any minute. So without thinking Hinata had guided his ex-teammate towards the kitchen. And after that everything pretty much went downhill. The moment that his dad walked in, he saw it in Kageyama's eyes.

Hinata would never ever in his life admit it — but Kageyama wasn't stupid. He might not get the best grades at school, but that was mainly because he put all his time and energy in volleyball. Hinata was sure that if — unlike himself — Kageyama actually tried, the boy would get pretty far regarding education.

The point being — Kageyama was smart and the moment he saw Hinata's father Kagehame just knew.

Kageyama knew.

And the weird thing was, the setter didn't get angry at Hinata — what was what he had expected — no, he got angry at his dad.

Kageyama clearly didn't understand that all of this wasn't Hinata's father's fault, Hinata had deserved all of it. That it shouldn't be his dad that Kageyama was yelling at, but him.

Kageyama stood in front of Hinata with an amazing presence, he didn't even so much as blink when his dad started getting angry at the teen.

He didn't have the heart to tell Kageyama that he was all wrong, that his dad wasn't the bad guy in this situation. But then his dad grabbed Kageyama by his collar and almost punched him. Luckily Ukai stormed in just at the right moment — why his former coach even was there was beyond his understanding, Hinata was just glad that he was.

However, Ukai seemed to have reached the same conclusion as Kageayama and started to see Hinata's dad as the bad guy.

Everything went so fast that Hinata didn't even have the time to intervene and tell everyone the truth. Kageyama was rushing him out of the house — Hinata hadn't want to leave his dad, but yet again, Kageyama's presence was to strong that Hinata couldn't deny him anything. Before he knew it, he was in Ukai's care, driving towards his apartment.

Once they made it there, Kageyama softly guided him out of the car into the apartment. They both sat down at the dinning table and Ukai put a glass of water in front of both of them and then excused himself real quick.

And just now it dawned to him that they still didn't know the real truth, they still saw his father as the bad guy.

What would happen if they knew the real truth? Would they still be so nice to him?

Hinata didn't want them to hate him.

Silence filled the room. He wanted to say something, but he just didn't know what. Kageyama clearly had the same struggle — although that wasn't a rare thing for the setter, he was after all pretty socially awkward. It wouldn't normally matter though — Hinata used to be filled with enough energy and social skills for both of them. But it seemed like both had faded away in the past few weeks - leaving the pair in an awkward silence.

Weirdly they both opened their mouths at the same time.

"I am sorry."

"I should apologize."

And then both:

"Why?"

Kageyama didn't need to apologize. He hadn't done anything wrong. Hinata was the one who had gotten him into his own personal mess.

"I should have known it. I am sorry I didn't get you out sooner." The teen boy said. Hinata quickly shook his head.

"You don't understand Kageyama, there is nothing going on. My dad just did what he had to do. It was all my fault." Kageyama's mouth fell open, as if he didn't believe what he was hearing.

"What do you mean, it was all your fault? The blame should be with your dad!" Kageyama suddenly seemed upset. The normal stoic voice of his started to get louder and louder.

"No it shouldn't! You don't understand! He had no choice!" Hinata annoyingly noticed that his voice too started to break.

"What? He had no choice but to hit you?" Kageyama asked, clearly angry. It was clearly a different kind of anger that he would show on the court or during training though. This seemed more serious. "That is what he did, didn't he? Your father hit you, right?" His voice lost the angry touch. It sounded lost and so very sad. It pained to hear that kind of tone from him.

Hinata wasn't sure what to say. It was true that his father did hit him. Never without a good cause though, but he had done it. Hinata understood why his father felt the need to do it and accepted it. But saying it out loud felt like a whole different level.

Kageyama noticed Hinata's discomfort and shook his head.

"You don't need to say it out loud if you don't want to. I already know the answer." He said, his voice still sounding lost. Hinata looked down, but Kageyama just kept staring at him.

And then something suddenly dawned to him. How could he forget it! Hinata tried to jump up from his chair, but immediately fell down again, his stomach and back pain both making clear that they were still there. He winced.

"What! Dumb ass. Don't do stupid stuff! Are you okay?"

Hinata nodded.

"I am fine. I just need to go back." Hinata said, while — carefully this time — standing up and walking towards the front door of the apartment.

This seemed to panic Kageyama.

"What do you mean you have to go back!? You can't go back. Wait you idiot!" The setter followed him. Hinata didn't care, he was determined to get this one thing right.

Natsu would be getting home soon, Hinata needed to be there for her. Besides, his father was all alone at home right now. He couldn't just leave him like that. He had quit volleyball to be there more for his family and the first thing he had done was leave them. No, it wasn't right.

So Hinata needed to go back.

In the corner of his eyes he could see Kageyama getting closer and closer to him, but before the setter could reach him, Hinata felt a big — but warm and soft — hand on his shoulder. He looked back and saw the eyes of the coach looking at him.

"Where are you going?" The tone he used was not one that Hinata was used of hearing. It was soft, but careful, as if he was scared that he would break Hinata with it.

Hinata wasn't that easy breakable, but the way Kageyama and Ukai were looking at him was almost indicating that he was.

And both didn't seem to understand that Hinata just needed to go home. He didn't know in what kind of state his father was now. He needed to make sure that everything was alright before Natsu would get home.

Every bone in his body was so tired. Both his back and stomach were protesting, and he just realized that there was a killer headache forming in the back of his head.

Hinata wanted to sleep.

But first, he needed to go home.

"Hinata?" Ukai carefully asked.

"I need to go home." Ukai didn't seem sure what to say now, he just looked at him. Kageyama, however, didn't need a second to think and took a step forward.

"No, you don't! Why don't you get it dumb ass! You are not going home to that bastard! He hurt you, he hit you. I don't know how many times, but that doesn't matter. You look like a beaten puppy and then you still want to get back to him. Why are you such a….such a… such a….dumb ass!" The setter's voice started to get louder and louder, until he was literally shouting at Hinata. Kageyama didn't stop, even when the tears were forming in his eyes.

Both Hinata and Ukai were dumb folded by the sudden display of emotion on Kageyama, the teen who normally never showed another emotion then being grumpy.

Kageyama seemed just as surprised as the other two and fell in a uncomfortable silence once his ramble ended. Hinata wasn't sure what to say or do. He didn't want to make Kageyama feel sad, but he really needed to go home.

He found himself in a dilemma — should he go look after his father and his sister, or make sure that Kageyama was okay.

He wished there was a way to make both of that happen — but like always — Hinata had to choose to let one of them down. Yet again, another failure on the big list that Hinata already had.

There was an intense silence until Ukai grabbed Kageyama's shoulder with the one hand that was free.

"Very well-spoken Kageyama, and I am sorry that you too have to go through something like this. Why don't you go calm down in the living room and drink a glass of water. I want to talk to Hinata for a bit here."

"But…But." "I got this. Don't worry, I'll make sure he doesn't leave. Trust me"

Kageyama nodded at. although his facial expression showed that he didn't really want to leave this situation. After a few seconds the teen gave Hinata one last stern look — as if he saying that Hinata was not allowed to ignore him and leave — and then turned around towards the living room.

Hinata bit his lip. He couldn't help but feel a bit guilty towards Kageyama, if he hadn't dragged him into this mess then he wouldn't by feeling sad right now. He would definatly apologize later, he was going to make everything up to him.

"What are you thinking about kid." Ukai suddenly asked, his eyes carefully trying to read him, there was a softness underneath his voice that Hinata still couldn't ignore.

The way Ukai was analyzing him made him nervous. His eyes were almost straight looking into his soul as if he tried to read him.

"Look Ukai-san, I am really thankful for everything you have done, and I am sorry that I both got you and Kageyama into this mess." He said, while looking down.

Ukai shook his head.

"You don't need to apologize for anything kid. I don't know everything that has happened, but I am sure that none of it is your fault."

Why did everyone say that all the time? It was almost getting annoying! Both Ukai and Kageyama said it with such a confidence, as if it was a fact that Hinata was faultless.

"No, you don't understand. It is my fault, my father had all the right to…to do what he did. And right now he is all alone and I should probably go to him." Hinata stammered, hoping that the coach let him go now. "I need to make sure he is okay."

For a second Hinata was sure that he could see a hundredth different facial expression in one second on his coach, from shock, anger and sadness. The coach shook his head.

"No Hinata, you are not going back there. I don't care that that is what you want. Right now I think that place is dangerous for you. You are not going back there, not until I completely understand what exactly is going on with your dad and all. Ukai's voice suddenly sounded very clear and strict, showing that he wasn't accepting any contradiction from Hinata regarding this point at this time.

Hinata gulped. What was he supposed to do now? How in the hell could he get the coach to understand that his point of view was wrong. He wasn't ready to tell Ukai everything that had happened, of how he first failed his sick mother and then both his father and his little sister. Even the thought of telling it all scared him to death. He wouldn't even know where to start.

Ukai noticed the reluctance in Hinata's pose.

"Look, this must be a very scary position for you to be in Hinata. You don't have to tell me everything right now, it is your story, that you need to tell when you're ready. But I am still not going to let you go back. You are not safe there.

"But, please, my dad, he needs me."

"No, Hinata. Forget it, you are not going back"

"But…"

"No, kid. Just no."

Hinata wanted to go against his coaches will, he wished he was strong enough to turn around and go back home. But he was just so tired.

Tired and confused. His mind just couldn't keep up anymore.

"Then where am I supposed to stay?" He carefully asked, not wanting to imply that he might change his mind about going back to his dad.

Ukai gave him a warm smile. "For the time being, you can stay here with me. We can figure everything out later."

He nodded. It would be so easy to stay here. There were no empty beer cans lying around here, no empty fridge. Hinata didn't know what it was, it just felt weirdly safe here. It was almost relaxing, knowing that his dad couldn't walk in any second to shout at or punch him.

He knew it was a bad way thinking — an extra layer of guilt overwhelmed him — but he was just too tired. His body needed rest, his mind needed rest. Hinata just needed some rest.

He knew it was weak of him, he knew it made him more of a failure than he already was.

But he needed a break. Maybe just a few days. He could stay here for a little time, and then he would go back to his father. He would apologize to him and take whatever punishment his father would give to him.

But for now, he just needed this safe space.

So Hinata slowly nodded, Ukai's face relaxed.

"What about Natsu! I cannot leave her behind." he said. Even if he was only planning to stay at Ukai's for a few days, he couldn't do this without her. His coaches' eyes went big in disbelieve, and he suddenly grabbed Hinata's shoulders tight.

"That is your little sister right? Is the still at your house? Please tell me she is not there right now!" Ukai's voice sounded stressed and urgent. Something that Hinata didn't completely understand. His father had never laid a hand on Natsu - he never had a reason to — so she wasn't in any danger. But Ukai didn't know that probably.

"She is at school."

Ukai's pose relaxed and he signed in relief.

"Okay good. Well, for now it is probably the best to get her here. We'll just figure everything out later. Should I go ask Takeda if he would like to pick her up from school?"

Hinata shook his head.

"An old friend of my mother helps us by bringer her to and picking her up from school. I could call her and ask her if she wants to bring Natsu here?"

Ukai nodded.

"That's a good idea."

"What should I say?" He didn't want to lie to Hajime-san, but really didn't know how to tell her everything that just had happened. He wasn't ready for her to know.

"You don't want her to know the truth I take it?" Ukai asked. Hinata quickly shook his head. "You can tell her that your dad is busy for work and that you both stay with me for the week."

Hinata nodded, she would probably buy that. Ukai gave him his address and his phone and soon he got the nice voice of Hajime-san on the other side. He explained the situation, he hated it to lie to her, but it was necessary. Just like he expected, she believed everything and promised to bring Natsu here

Ukai had stayed with him during the whole conversation, giving him reassuring nods. Hinata gave the phone back to him when he was done.

"She will be here in an hour and a half." He said. Ukai nodded.

"Good. Now there is one more thing that I would like to ask you, but if it is too much, you need to tell me, okay?"

Hinata nodded carefully.

"We agreed not to go the hospital, but I need to know the expense of those injuries."

He knew that Ukai meant well, but it felt like being stabbed by a knife. He didn't want him to see it, because he knew how terrible they were. It made Hinata weak, and he didn't want Ukai to think of him as weak — although that was probably inevitable.

"Look, Hinata, I know you don't want that. But I need you to trust me okay? If I don't know bad it is... I just need to know okay?"

And the strange things was, he felt himself looking for Kageyama for reassurance. He didn't know why, but he felt safe with Kageyama. Not that he didn't feel safe with Ukai, but it was different.

As if the teen setter knew what was best for him

Hinata almost laughed at the irony of all this. Months ago Hinata would never admit that he valued Kageyama's opinion and right here it was as if it was all he needed.

"What about Kageyama?" He asked, although it wasn't really an answer at Ukai's question.

"Do you want him there?" Ukai seemed unsure and Hinata quickly shook his head. No, although he trusted Kageyama, he didn't want him to see his stomach and his back. He wasn't ready for that.

"I want to know what he thinks." Hinata said, while slightly blushing at the embarrassing statement. Ukai nodded.

"Kageyama, could you come back." Ukai yelled, although his voice was just as soft and nice as what he used towards Hinata.

It was almost as if the setter had waited for this moment, because within a second he was standing next to them, looking intensely at Hinata.

"Kageyama, we decided that Hinata stays with me for now, until we know more about how to handle this situation. And earlier we agreed that Hinata doesn't have to go to a hospital. However, I think it is a realy good idea if I take a look at Hinata's injuries, so we know what we are dealing with." Ukai explained the situation towards the setter and it was as if Kageyama instinctively knew what to do.

He gave Hinata a reassuring smile, nodded and said the most perfect words that he could have said at that moment to convince Hinata.

"That would make me worry less." He mumbled and Hinata froze. Again, a month ago Kageyama would have never admitted something like that. It was almost weird to hear those words from him.

But Hinata decided that it was okay. It was a weird day after all and therefor it was only normal to make weird unusual statements.

And it suddenly dawned to him how selfish he had been. Hinata had only thought about himself and his dad. He had never stopped to think how Kageyama or Ukai would think of this. Of course, they would worry, of course they were sad and shocked and it was all because of Hinata.

So if they would worry less if Ukai looked at his wounds than maybe he owned it to them.

He nodded and saw the relief in both of their faces.

"We can do it in the bathroom, it might be good if you take shower too, that way you will be completely fresh when your little sister comes. Okay?"

Hinata nodded, that actually sounded pretty good.

"Kageyama, would you mind waiting in the living room? You can watch TV if you want?" Ukai said and the setter nodded his head.

"Good, let's go." He said while guiding him towards the bathroom.

And Hinata followed his coach, with a new sense of safeness that was unfamiliar for him. Layering under it was a hovering feeling of guilt for leaving his father alone, but he ignored it for now. That was a problem for another day.

-Haikyuu-

You know when you are so drunk that you don't even know you are drunk, you are in a different world where you don't even know if it is day or night. When you're pretty sure that you actually had one too many beers for your body to be able to handle. But you are so drunk that you don't even care and automatically grab for the next drink. It doesn't matter if it is your last thing you will ever do, at that moment it is all you need.

Because that one drink will turn the emotions off, will push your deepest, darkest thoughts away. Everything is cloudy in your head and nothing matters anymore.

That was the state that he was in right now.

He didn't know what the time was. He wasn't even sure where he was, although he guessed he was still sitting on the kitchen floor.

Yeah, on the left side was the fridge and at the right was something that looked like his dining table. He was most definitely still sitting on the kitchen floor.

His body felt miserable and numb at the same time. Without even thinking about it, his hands grabbed a beer can next to him and moved it towards his mouth. It was a movement that goes automatically. He didn't need to think about it, he wasn't even sure if he wanted to do it. But it just happened.

The can was empty.

Whatever.

He threw it in the corner, while giving it an angry look — as if it was the can's fault that it was empty.

Stupid beer can.

He knew that there was more beer in the refrigerator, but he didn't have the strength to get up — his mind was too far gone to understand the principles of standing up and walking. Even if he tried, he would fall right away.

So he just sat there.

And with no beer to distract him, something tinkered in his mind. It was just as much a thought as it was a feeling. He couldn't quite grasp it. It was there in him, but at the same it wasn't. He couldn't turn it off, he couldn't ignore it and couldn't understand it.

But it felt like…like….

Like he lost something today.

No, not today. He was pretty sure that he lost it a long time ago — and he should probably do something about it. But his mind was too cloudy right now, his thoughts were all over the place. He tried, he really did, to remember what he had lost but it was too much. It was probably gone anyway.

So Hinata's father closed his eyes and drifted away in a half drunk — half sleeping state of mind.

-Haikyuu-

Hey guys, I'm back!

I am really sorry for not posting a chapter for such a long time! I wanted to write more, but couldn't find the time and the right mood to actually write something that I was okay with (I tried, but every time I wrote something, I just hated it how it turned out). So I gave myself a little time off.

But here it is! I hope I find the time to post regularly again (but as you know, not really my strongest point).

I hope I didn't make Ukai to OOC. He is pretty much a tough guy and in this situation he needs to be nice and sensitive (because we all know that deep down he really cares about all the teens of Kurasuno).

Also I know I've never written from the perspective of Hinata's dad before, but I wanted to experiment with it and I actually liked how it turned out.

A lot of you were questioning about Natsu, but as you can see, you don't need to worry! I would never forget about her!

Some might think that this story is reaching its end with Hinata kind of being safe and sound with Ukai, but I still got a lot of ideas that I want to put into writing, so hang on with me for now! There is still going to be a lot of fluff and angst coming your way!

A special thanks for KittenQueen789, .3, Nlydragneel, GailVitale, Lemontarto, , Shadowbreaker111, Daileywishaw24, HOLAA,913, Shia-neesan, whatsunderneath, Micam9, EddiexEddie, Craftygril11, hanpo, erikablair, mehnoya, countryboyiloveyou, TotalNerdSorry and new-initiate for posting a review!

Don't forget to review this chapter!

Love you all!

Stay safe and healthy!

XXX

- Maredith