A/N: Yikes! How long has it even been since I've posted last? I don't know. All I know is that my soul nearly languished today in the Valley of Pointless Zoom Meetings and Mediocrity. Mood, I know. I had three meetings back to back and only one of them was not completely pointless. Well, what's really not pointless is this journey Princess Zuko is on now. Our beloved Zuko is finding her new normal after tragedy befell her life but as we know the Zuko of ATLA canon was never one to give up and this young lady doesn't either. We are discovering some intriguing things that will affect the future of the Fire Nation, so those that are still with me, let me know what you think and what you think is coming next. Thank you for your continued support! Writing really is my outlet when I allow myself the time to revel in it. If you like what you read, follow or fave!
Disclaimer: It's not, but we do it anyway...
Chapter 13—New Normal
"Concentrate Princess..." Toph whispered near Zuko's ear. She smiled as she sensed Zuko's heartbeat slow and her body release the tension she was holding.
"Feel the world around you. Sense the variations of heat in what's before you and let those things take shape in your mind. What do you see?" Toph asked quietly. Zuko wanted to correct her and remind her friend that she couldn't "see" anything, but she wasn't prepared to fight a battle with the blind girl that did learn how to "see" using her bending. Zuko kept her mouth closed and breathed in slowly through her nose. On her exhale she spoke.
"There's something round in front of me. It could be a rock or um, a statue; it's warm around the edges...I-I'm not sure." Zuko groaned in frustration.
"This is pointless! What am I supposed to be "seeing" Toph! I can't do this." she moaned. Toph huffed softly and smacked Zuko in the back of her head with her open palm. Zuko "glared" in Toph's direction who returned it with her own look of annoyance. Toph sat back on her haunches and crossed her arms.
"It's not pointless, Zuko. You're not even trying. Close your mouth and open your mind! Concentrate on the heat in the things around you. You're not doing this to perceive objects the normal way. You're allowing your bending to aid you differently. Now, start again." Toph said in a tone quite reminiscent of a certain lead instructor on Madame Hachi's island.
Zuko growled under her breath and sighed. She would start again but unless she knew what she was expecting, this activity wouldn't do any good. She sat up thinking she would once again humor her friend until a thought crossed her mind. There is still much beauty and wonder to enjoy in this world no matter how you have to do it.
Lu Ten's voice filtered through her mind. She remembered the way her cousin infuriated her that day even though he was right. What was he trying to say to her? Something about a beautiful day? She shook her head remembering how angry she was that her cousin would dare to speak to her like that to her knowing he couldn't even relate.
She wanted to be angry at him but secretly she appreciated the fact that he didn't treat her like a broken doll even though that's how she sometimes felt. It was the way her father and sister treated her.
Dinners with her family were painfully awkward and mostly silent as if not speaking to her would normalize the situation. Thankfully Toph was there to alleviate some of the pressure and provide the conversation she craved. Her father just carried on speaking about business matters with his closest supporters who sometimes stared at Zuko's face in pity or avoided her altogether.
Azula made no effort to engage her sister in any way but chatted quietly with Mai and Ty Lee about schoolwork or other inane things. Zuko always wondered what it would be like to feel alone in a crowded room and she suspected that it felt very much like this. Despite the awkwardness, Zuko was grateful for attempting to get back to living her life and enjoying the beauty in it like her cousin suggested once before.
Zuko thought back to the conversation from the weeks prior when she first went outside. She knew that her healing would come with a change in her perspective. Toph said it over and over to her too, and for the first time Zuko realized that she wasn't being very open-minded about her circumstances. She felt ashamed knowing that she wasn't really giving this exercise her best effort.
How could Zuko say she tried if she didn't explore every option to give herself a fighting chance? She felt a surge of determination come over her. She couldn't give up now. Zuko didn't want to live her life constantly depending on others when she had skills and abilities she hadn't tapped into yet and other skills she just wasn't ready to let go of.
Zuko sat up growing quiet and still. Toph smirked behind her knowing that she was ready to start living her life again even if just to walk to dinner on her own. Zuko slowed her breathing to a near meditative state. She allowed her breaths to come naturally, in and out, like the rhythm of her heartbeat slow and steady. She encouraged her senses to go into her personal space sensing first the heat within her as if becoming acquainted with herself for the first time.
Zuko's heat was warm and soothing like sunshine. It felt bright yellow. Zuko knew then that she needed to see if there were other sources of heat around her and what they felt like to her.
She reached out with her inner fire to feel what perhaps Toph's heat felt like. She allowed her inner fire to stretch and move beyond her like tendrils of smoke. Zuko suddenly felt a yellow-orange glow compact and warm like a fire bowl behind her. It was Toph.
Toph had moved back several meters but was still squatting on her haunches and waiting. Perhaps she wanted to see if Zuko was really trying. Zuko smirked to herself as she sent a small pebble like burst of energy towards her friend. Toph felt the vibrations of the energy ball as it tapped against the stone of the foot path they were on and hopped over it as it rolled past. The energy ball dissipated once it hit a large rock behind her. Toph cackled.
"Good one, Sparkly." Zuko grinned widely as she stood. "I think I might be ready to do this, Toph." She beamed. One wall, two tree trunks and a somewhat reddish and scraped nose later, Zuko was walking along the path comfortably in the royal gardens with Toph not far behind her. It took some adjustment for Zuko to become familiar enough with the heat difference within objects that weren't people to begin avoiding obstacles in her way.
Soon she walked with no assistance or direction from Toph who continued walking slightly behind her occasionally warning of a step hazard she wouldn't be able to detect from her heat sense. Naturally some things would be unavoidable until Zuko was more confident in her memorization of the paths and walkways.
The princess basked in the lavish sunshine and fragrance of the flowers around her. Passers-by were astonished at Zuko's newfound independence. Most hadn't seen the princess walking unaided since her accident. It was clear to those who watched that she was still blind, but she had a different gait about her; her steps were no longer hesitant, and halting and her face was pleasant. Zuko was clearly enjoying herself which was a welcome change from her previous fixed scowl or expressions of loneliness, despair and loss.
This exercise was just the beginning of greater things to come. Toph was determined that Zuko would become the best version of herself with or without her sight and she continued to push Zuko to go beyond the boundaries of what she thought herself capable.
Week after week, Toph relentlessly gave Zuko a new challenge that seemed more impossible than the last, but Zuko never backed down from the challenge or gave up without a fight.
First, it was walking the path in the garden and getting back to her room on her own. Next, it was lighting the candles in her room for meditation and the fire in her fireplace or making her way to the dining hall alone. Soon, it was working Zuko back into her personal arena coaxing her to practice her basic fire forms with Toph occasionally sneaking in an attack or two until Zuko came to expect them and learned to listen and feel for Toph's movements.
Sparring with Toph eventually became an everyday part of her new routine. Before long, the only thing Zuko hadn't done was pick up her dual Dao or create her energy force weapons, but Toph had no doubt that she would before the year was out.
Zuko was practicing in her arena every day and was working through even her most advanced forms and hand to hand combat. Her fire glowed bright yellow-white with intensity and heat and even the soldiers who dared to spar with her were no longer worried about hurting the once fragile princess. They now had to watch out for her strikes and attacks.
Zuko was able to feel their proximity and sense the heat from their bending and bodies and hear their movements. The combination of sound and heat felt surreal and heady to Zuko. It was as if she could still visualize her opponents though she could not see who they were or what they looked like. She just knew she could sense them and take in their shapes by the heat they emitted.
Zuko was even able to predict some of their next moves because the unknowing soldiers gave them away with the shuffle of their feet, grunts and loud footsteps. Soldiers and guards were on the defensive after realizing that their princess was not holding back from them and striking as a most worthy opponent. For them, it was a matter of fight back or leave the arena very sore in the next few minutes. Zuko had become a force to be reckoned with once again.
It was at this time the word spread of the princess's progress to the shock and surprise of noblemen and commoners who would leave the palace after work each day. The people rejoiced at her swift recovery and noted that it all began after her blind earthbender friend returned to see her.
Observers marveled at the tenacity and skill of both young women to be able to do the things they did according to these reports. Word soon reached the ears of the royal family including the Fire Lord and Zuko's sister, Azula.
Fire Lord Ozai already planned to check in on his daughter during one of her morning warm-ups to see for himself. Azula on the other hand, felt a twinge of something she couldn't name niggling on her heart and quickly decided that whatever she heard was just the exaggeration of tittering old hags with nothing better to do but pity the disabled princess. She would have to see it and feel it for herself to believe it.
For now, Azula would leave the rumors at the door and have a quiet dinner with her best friend, Mai. Dinner this night was a strangely quiet affair. Few nobles had been allowed to stay during the meals since Princess Zuko's disfigurement.
This week only Mai's father, Ukano, his wife Michi, Mai and her little brother Tom Tom were allowed to stay beyond the typical hours nobles attended court and meals. Ukano had become something of a close confidant to Ozai and listened and supported Ozai through his battles with the council over the Earth Kingdom attacks and the now known letter sent by Earth King Kuei. Ukano was beginning to become invaluable to the Fire Lord as he had hoped.
Ty Lee went home earlier that day to have dinner with her parents and siblings to celebrate the engagement of her fourth oldest sister, An Lee so it would be Azula and Mai keeping one another company for today.
Azula had been hearing report after report from maids, gossiping guards and soldiers who had been sparring with Zuko about her improving abilities despite her blindness. She secretly craved to find out more about what changed, but she couldn't bring herself to have a pleasant or positive conversation with Zuko. She opted instead to have a little fun at her sister's expense.
Little Tom Tom, Mai's brother was having a wonderful time at dinner messing over his food and throwing bits and pieces about the table and floor. Mai prepared to scold her brother but Azula grabbed her hand gently.
"Don't worry about the mess there are others to clean it up." She said placidly and caught her friend's eyes before they widened in shock. Azula leaned over and whispered.
"Pick up some of the food when no one is looking. We shouldn't waste good morsels after all. Let's see what my sister's new skills can do with this." She whispered nodding to Mai to keep her mouth shut and follow directions carefully.
Mai pretended to let her brother down so that he could crawl to his parents and scooped up a napkin's worth of the discarded food. With an easy movement she passed the napkin to Azula who dumped the dirty morsels in Zuko's plate while she talked with Toph. They were sure no one saw what was done at the table and the two girls gave each other a knowing look as Azula set her plan in motion.
Zuko was having a animated and cheerful conversation with Toph who both had abandoned their meals for the time being. Zuko knew she could reheat the plates easily with her bending when they were ready to eat again. She was in full swing recounting her latest sparring session when Toph paused suddenly. She had overheard the Azula and her companion whispering about the food and confirmed her suspicions when she felt the shift in Azula's and Mai's heartbeat.
Toph was curious to see if Azula would actually try to make her sister eat the food from the floor. Zuko noticed the pause, but before Toph could say anything Azula spoke up.
"So Zuko, is the meal not to your liking today?" Azula asked louder than her normal speaking voice. As she had hoped she also grabbed the attention of the other attendees at dinner including her father. Their father always sided with her and she was sure he would back her if it came down to a battle of wills.
Zuko took a gentle breath to keep from snapping at her sister. Their cold war was apparently over now, and things were back to normal.
"The meal is fine Azula. Thank you for your concern, but I was having a conversation. I'll finish the meal when I'm ready." Zuko said keeping her voice as even and emotionless as possible. She didn't know why her sister was taking a sudden interest in her, but she knew it had to be nothing good.
When Zuko turned back to Toph to continue her conversation, Azula glared hoping that her gaze would burn a hole in the back of her sister's head. How dare she just ignore her? Those watching snickered to themselves at how Zuko's blindness did nothing to improve the sibling relationship. Azula was just as mean as ever.
They admired how Zuko stood up for herself with calm assurance. Ozai's lip twitched in amusement. He saw what Azula and Mai had done with the food. He knew that his younger daughter's intentions were cruel but also how Zuko completely brushed them off. He admired his oldest daughter's pluckiness even if he would never say it out loud.
Ozai figured this would be one of those moments he'd allow to play out since he knew his children. Not one to be daunted, Azula spoke up once again breaking the quiet lull of conversation and putting all the attention on them.
"You know the kitchen staff worked really hard to make this delicious meal for us and I don't think you're showing them much appreciation by allowing your food to get cold." She said with a slight frost. Zuko now sighed openly. Azula was way too fixated on Zuko's plate. Had she done something to it or was she really concerned about her eating? She had no way to know. Either way, Zuko was determined not to let her sister push her around. She worked too hard to get back to a sense of independence and she wasn't about to go back to a relationship with her sister that didn't serve her.
"Azula, I am most certain that the staff know how much I appreciate them and the hard work they put in every day to provide good meals for us. They also know that every day is different, and appetites vary. If I choose not to eat at this meal I have not betrayed them nor have I dishonored the family name or caused myself or others harm. I am also quite capable of reheating my food if and when I'm ready. I suggest we all return to our meals and conversations before this becomes unnecessarily uncomfortable. Don't you agree dear sister?" Zuko asked calmly with an overt sweetness which only served to further frustrate her sister.
Murmurs floated around the room as people admired how Zuko addressed her sister calmly and with wisdom. Some saw Azula's persistence as her way of showing concern while others who knew her well saw it as a way to exert her control over Zuko. Toph smirked triumphantly. Without Zuko knowing anything she wasn't going to let her sister get over on her. She couldn't wait to tell Zuko what almost happened when they left dinner.
Azula was stunned. Never had her sister dismissed or shut her down in this way! When had she gotten a backbone? Azula opened her mouth to speak when Ozai cleared his throat.
"That's enough Azula. If Zuko is not hungry, she's not hungry. I'm sure she appreciates what you are trying to do for her, but we all desire to finish our meals in peace. Let it go," he said with a tone the made it clear he was not to be argued with on this. Azula's eyes widened in shock when she realized her father knew what she had done. She took a deep breath before she returned to her plate. She didn't look at her sister or Mai as she finished her meal in silence.
For the first time Azula wondered if this was how Zuko felt when she was dismissed by father. She didn't like it. She didn't like it at all.
At the end of the meal, Zuko and Toph walked down the corridor to Zuko's chambers. Toph checked to see if anyone was around. When she felt the coast was clear she whispered, "I overheard your sister tell Mai to pick up the food Mai's little brother dropped on the floor and put it on your plate. No one else saw it I think and Azula didn't expect for you to refuse to do what she told you. It was a great feeling to see you shut her down and not only that, for your father to back you up." She cackled.
"That definitely ruffled Azula's feathers." Toph added. Zuko shook her head slowly. She knew that her sister was up to no good. She's very glad she stood her ground and didn't let Azula pressure her, but now she had no idea what her sister would do in retaliation.
"I had really hoped my sister saw me differently. Welp, looks like things are back to normal," Zuko said softly chuckling to herself. She wasn't entirely sure why her sister chose her tonight, but Zuko was glad that she trusted her own intuition enough not to fall for Azula's scheme.
"I guess this means I'll have to be a little more vigilant. There's no telling when she will try to "get me back" for her supposed humiliation. I really don't understand that girl…" Zuko said shaking her head.
Toph gave her friend a punch in the arm and they continued down the corridor as Zuko rubbed the now tenderized flesh on her bicep. The next day, Zuko, her Uncle Iroh, and Cousin Lu Ten sat down in a quiet veranda near her mother's pond and garden to play a game of Pai Sho and drink a new tea Uncle ordered just for the occasion.
As Zuko's sensitivity to the shifts in heat grew stronger and more developed, Iroh took a keen interest in working with her to strengthen her gifts and help her in her journey to a new normal.
One way, was in helping Zuko develop a Pai Sho game she could read through the heat transferred from a person's hands to the board pieces. Fire benders naturally ran warmer than most other benders and so the longer the pieces were held the more heat they absorbed. Zuko could then sense the heat in the last piece chosen and feel the texture of the tile to know which one it was. She in turn could move her pieces accordingly.
Zuko challenged her cousin to a round of Pai Sho after several losses to her uncle. Although Iroh was determined to help his niece grow he wasn't ready to go easy on her or let her win out of pity. As with everyone who challenges him, the winner's position is earned.
"Your move Lu," Zuko said casually. Lu Ten was miffed. He knew that his cousin had developed a new method for playing Pai Sho, but she was killing him! He hadn't been able to win not one game with her and she wasn't about to give up either. He realized that her determination was in more than just playing Pai Sho and winning.
Zuko was living again and could not give up on that easily.
"Uncle," Zuko began after dealing a devastating move on the board to counter Lu Ten's last tile. "Tell me more about what you and Lu have been doing in your studies with bending. I've always been interested but never had the chance to talk to you about it until now." She smiled shyly. Uncle nodded and stroked his beard.
"My work is broad and general when it comes to bending. We evaluate the four styles and their development over time. We consider the environments that led to certain benders settling in particular areas and what makes each style unique. There are many more similarities between the four styles than differences I've found," he said.
"Your work, however, is quite fascinating. You are breaking new ground in using your firebending for something other than combat. I'd like to know more about what you are doing." Zuko shrugged absentmindedly.
"I think I'm only doing what people like me would do out of necessity. I'm using what I have to compensate for what I don't have anymore." Iroh hummed thoughtfully.
"Is that really all you're doing my dear? I've heard that you have surpassed your original skills in both bending and combat and have become quite a formidable opponent. You've developed an uncanny ability to predict your sparring partner's next move. I'm certain the guards would have no reason to spare your pride." Zuko blushed deeply.
"I was a warrior before I lost my sight. Why would I stop now? I realized that losing my sight wasn't a death sentence-it was a chance to test my limits and become the best version of myself I could. Combat is just one part of it, of course. Do you concede, Lu?" Zuko asked as if she was inquiring about the time.
Lu Ten stared at the board in confusion. He was about to win. His tile was in the right position for controlling the entire board. Zuko looked unfazed as she sat quietly as if waiting for something. Lu Ten chuffed quietly for his first win of the day against his cousin.
Zuko focused her attention to find the hottest piece on the board. It was the winter rose. She smiled imperceptibly as she moved her hand over the piece her cousin just moved. She reached for her gardenia tile and slid it into position.
"Do you concede?" she asked again quietly. Lu Ten stared at the Pai Sho board his mouth dropping open as if his jaw came unhinged at the triple capture on the board. No matter which way he moved there was no redemption for his winning piece. Lu Ten had no choice but to concede, but not without a little petty lip service.
"Good game cousin. Even if you are cheating somehow…" he said poking out his lower lip. Zuko laughed heartily from her belly. Lu Ten wasn't done.
"This is your sixth win! My Father is feeding you information, isn't he?"he added with suspicion.
Zuko looked stunned and squeaked with appall. She placed her hand on her chest affronted.
"I'm not cheating! I'm the one with the disadvantage here, aren't I?" she said with a knowing smile.
Lu Ten glared. "It's not a disadvantage if you're the one winning every time! How are you doing this?"
Zuko laughed again her voice bubbling up like a fountain in summer. The first time in months. Lu Ten missed the genuine sweetness in her disposition. He missed her. He was sure they lost their princess the day the fiery explosion took her beauty and her sight. He was glad to see now that all was not lost.
"It's good to hear you laugh again cousin. These halls are a little brighter when you do." Lu Ten said sincerely. Zuko's face flushed and she shook her head as if deflecting his words.
"Don't change the subject Lu!" She turned in the direction of Iroh. "Uncle, your son is give me the oogies. I need you to crush his Pai Sho spirit and please explain how he's been losing to the blind girl…repeatedly," she laughed. Lu Ten rolled his eyes though she couldn't see it and Iroh chuckled.
Iroh knew his son was only speaking the truth Zuko hadn't realized about herself: she was the glue that held her family together by its tenuous thread and they needed her light, but they would indulge her until the time she could stand in her truth alone.
Iroh consoled Lu Ten. "Ah, do not be discouraged my son, she almost beat me once as well. Do you notice with what stone the game is made? Feel the texture," he said. Lu Ten touched the game pieces as if for the first time.
"Wait. Is this sunstone?!" Lu Ten exclaimed.
Iroh nodded in confirmation. "You are correct."
"Why is this game constructed of everyday mason ware instead of ivory or marble like our other sets?" Lu Ten asked his curiosity fully piqued.
"Because the other materials don't absorb heat as well and I wouldn't be able to "see" the pieces." Zuko explained simply.
Iroh smiled proudly. "Yes, your cousin has developed a gift in this short period not many firebenders have been able to achieve in their lifetimes. She can detect heat in an object from her bending. It's not perfect, but it has helped her to perfect her Pai Sho game." He said continuing to grin.
"And... it's helped me to avoid people and objects and know where my food is on the table for the most part…" Zuko added.
Lu Ten sat bewildered. "Cousin! That's amazing… have you found any other uses for this yet? Zuko tapped her chin with her finger.
"Well, I think I may have figured out emotions. I notice changes in people who may be feeling a certain way. I can't see their faces, but I can tell how they change temperature around me. People who are angry tend to run hotter than others".
Lu Ten furrowed his brow. "I don't understand. I mean people don't vary that much in temperature unless they're sick or benders, don't you think?
I think maybe for me the sensitivity might be heightened since I focus on it constantly, I guess." Zuko held her head up in thought. "Um, Ok. I'll try to explain. Most people feel like a warm yellow kind of color when they are calm," she began.
"Yellow?" Lu Ten cocked his head to the side. "You see colors?"
Zuko rolled her eyes. "No silly, I'm blind. Stop interrupting. I'm trying to help you understand. I haven't forgotten colors…yet. It's more that I perceive the warmth in a happy or calm person as lighter or not as intense, if that makes sense."
"I'm following…" Lu Ten said slowly. Zuko nodded and continued.
"So, it's like degrees of heat. The intensities change with emotions. Calm is pale yellow. Frustrated might be… yellow and a little orange. Happy is like the feeling of the sun or a bright yellow. Ty Lee is always sunny." She said her expression slightly sarcastic. Lu Ten hummed.
"OK. Continue…" Zuko smirked and shook her head.
"When people are sad, they have a cooler temperature, like yellow-green I suppose. Firebenders run hotter so they always seem yellow orange. Happy but a little bit…more? My sister Azula, however, is the exception. She doesn't have any colors—she's practically devoid of life and saps it from others like a heat leech…" Lu Ten bit his tongue to keep from laughing at Zuko's barb at her sister. Zuko felt Lu Ten's color brighten and she smirked. They snorted as the two tried to stifle their laughter.
"Sorry I couldn't resist. My sister is like a bright red orange. Almost happily angry? It's strange. Any people who are genuinely angry tend to be a dark red-orange bender or not. Like…a deep vermillion to blood red sometimes, heavy. Father is… always that color…" Zuko's face darkened to mimic the dark cloud that seemed to hang over her head shadowing her own sunny yellow whenever she spoke of Ozai.
She placed her fingers on her lips as she turned away from her cousin and the conversation. Zuko said too much already. She hadn't intended to say anything about her father, especially not in front of her uncle and cousin. Those were thoughts she only reserved for her mind. Zuko grew silent and at once the conversation and playful moment was over. Zuko placed her hands delicately on the stone Pai Sho table and stood. She didn't face Lu Ten as she excused herself.
"I—I should go. If you'll excuse me, Lu. Uncle, would you...kindly escort me to my room please?" she asked shyly in a moment diminishing the sunny mood she was in only moments before.
Iroh and Lu Ten's eyes met in understanding and pity. Zuko didn't need anyone to guide her to her room anymore, but perhaps she needed the comfort of someone's presence to take her mind off of her thoughts.
Iroh grunted as he stood but took Zuko's arm gently. "Of course, my dear. I would be delighted to escort you." He said just as gently. Zuko smiled politely.
"Thank you, Uncle. Lu Ten, until next time?" Lu Ten grinned.
"Of course, little cousin. Hopefully next time I will be better prepared for my defeats." Zuko attempted to hide her amusement behind her hand and nodded.
"Yes, it would not do for a member of the royal family and military to flounder so helplessly in the art of strategy." She said with a touch of the yellow they hoped to revive in her fully one day. At her jib, Lu Ten laughed out loud and drew a giggle from his cousin. "OK, I see how things are. You won't be so lucky next time!" he challenged.
As Zuko walked arm in arm down the hall with her uncle, she said in a singsong voice waving her other hand in the air, "Luck had nothing to do with it…"
Zuko and Uncle Iroh walked in silence down the corridor to Zuko's room. The only sound between them was the clacking of heels on the pavement and steady breaths. Iroh perceived that perhaps Zuko had something she wanted to ask him and that was why she requested his presence. He didn't have long to wait when Zuko blurted out.
"I don't understand why I'm so different from my family!" She caught herself and brought her voice down in case there were any curious ears hoping for a juicy tidbit of gossip. She took a deep breath and started again.
"Uncle, I'm trying so hard to find my place in this world. You and my mother have always encouraged me to remember who I am and never to give up, but sometimes I feel so lost in my own family. Even before I lost my sight I struggled to find my place as a royal and as a bender. I wish I had the freedom to explore the four nations like you and Lu Ten. At least then I wouldn't be stuck trying to be this perfect Fire Nation princess though I guess it's actually impossible now…" She lamented.
Iroh took Zuko's hand nestled in the crook of his arm and gave it a gentle pat. He knew that part of Zuko's problems actually had nothing to do with Zuko. Her father had many demons that he couldn't exorcise that stemmed from his own childhood and loss of his mother.
Ozai worked hard to measure up to the impossible standard that was set for him too and unfortunately he could raise his children no better than the training he received himself. Iroh answered her carefully.
"Zuko, every soul has its own journey to make in this life. Your journey is exclusive of your father's and your sister's. Your path has shifted, but you adapted the same way water adapts to obstacles and diversion. The person you are is perfectly suited for the life you are now living. Though your blindness is not your concept of the ideal life or what you expected, your life is still beautiful and rich. You have discovered secrets and benefits of who you are that you would never have found if you were living your life without changes, challenges and struggles." Iroh stopped walking and took his niece by both hands,
"My dear princess, your cousin and I have traveled for years throughout the four nations to discover what you have learned in only months. Zuko, you have found the beauty and extraordinary purposes in your bending by adapting the same way your earth bending friend adapted. You learned in practice what we can only learn in theory and by observing others. You must continue to hone your skills and improve any and everywhere you can. Even the Avatar must continue to perfect his gifts in order to be fully realized and serve his life's purpose." Iroh added.
At the mention of the Avatar, Zuko's ears perked up. She forgot that even the Avatar had to grow and change in order to be effective and live out his life's purpose. She felt that he had suffered even more than she did. Though she didn't have her sight, she at least still had her nation intact. The Avatar had almost his entire nation exterminated by her grandfather and great-grandfather over the course of 100 years. The actions of her family almost irreparably damaged the world too.
Yes, Zuko realized she needed to be different from her family in order to continue to promote peace and cooperation between the nations. She smiled. She knew that though she would like to be able to see, Zuko still had an opportunity to be the kind of person she would never have been getting married off to some minor noble who would demand she fall into a particular role and forget the gifts she had unless they benefited him.
Zuko felt inspired. Her path would not necessarily be easy, but it was definitely more open now.
"Thank you, Uncle," she said simply feeling the self-pity and burden over her soul lift. Iroh bowed to his niece although she couldn't see it. She smiled and bowed in return for his words of wisdom.
Iroh wondered what she thought about at that moment, but realized that sometimes all Zuko needed was time to think things through. Iroh took her hand in his arm again and they continued down the long hallway. As they approached the royal corridor Zuko paused. A thought crossed her mind about a story she heard about the Avatar.
"Uncle, is it true that the Avatar has the ability to energy bend?" she asked with genuine curiosity. Zuko wondered if perhaps the Avatar had the same gift as she and could manipulate pure energy fields the same way she could. Perhaps he could teach her how to better use her power safely.
Iroh's brows raised in surprise. How had the princess heard about that? No one else was supposed to know about the Avatar's energy bending except the one person he used it on and the person who was there to witness it.
Zuko waited nervously. Her uncle's long silence began to worry her. Was she not supposed to say anything? Perhaps the Avatar kept it a secret too to protect himself. Zuko tensed suddenly. Would she be in trouble? Would she get the Avatar in trouble?
Iroh put his hand on Zuko's once again to comfort her and she relaxed a little. The old General urged Zuko to follow him to his sitting room. She entered the room tentatively, but Iroh offered her tea and she knew things would be alright. The explanation was perhaps one they shouldn't discuss out in the open she surmised.
Iroh had Zuko sit on a nearby cushion and he joined her sitting across from her on the other side of his tea table. Zuko took a deep breath and waited anxiously. Iroh smiled.
"Don't fret dear one. I didn't expect for you to know anything about the Avatar's powers, so I was taken by surprise." Zuko nodded in understanding. Her uncle didn't know that she worked alongside the Avatar in the fight to defeat her father and stop the Fire Nation from ruining the world.
The way the story was spun, Zuko fought the Avatar and his allies while looking for her cousin before she was taken as a prisoner of war by the Water Tribe, but eventually was befriended by the tribe's chieftain's children who granted her amnesty to return to her home country after the war.
Zuko and the soldiers who fought alongside her were treated well by the tribe. They were treated much better than some Water tribe members had been treated by the Fire Nation armies. Unbeknownst to her nation, the princess and those soldiers worked as spies to help weaken her nations defenses so that the war couldn't continue.
The nation was in shock that their princess was taken prisoner by barbarians from the Water Tribe and that she was being used as a bargaining chip. What floored many when Zuko returned was that she had positive things to say about the Water Tribe and wanted to befriend them and make peace!
Some of the noblemen back then had considered Zuko a victim of Stockholm's Syndrome, a condition where victims of abduction and abuse come to love or accept their abusers. Zuko vehemently denied mistreatment from the tribe even though she had been stabbed with a spear by one of their warriors in a confrontation.
No one dared challenge her friendship with the Water Tribe siblings after the war because the peace was so new and tentative, and the Unified Water Tribes sent the siblings in good faith as ambassadors after the treatise had been signed.
Zuko knew that if her father found out she had anything to do with the once demise of his position on the throne he would find a way to make her "disappear." The only person who was privy to any of that information in the Fire Nation was her cousin Lu Ten because it was he who unintentionally called her out to the Earth Kingdom during the time he was missing in action.
Zuko went on a search for him because of how devastated her Uncle was when he first heard the news of his son. That was how they lost the battle of Ba Sing Se. Uncle Iroh gave up the will to fight after he thought his only son, his only child actually, was dead. Zuko couldn't give up until she either found Lu Ten's body or brought him home.
When she did find her beloved cousin, she never dreamed she would have been recruited to end the war on the other side of her nation. Iroh watched his niece intently. She had heavy things on her mind, and he wondered what brought those thoughts on suddenly. He cleared his throat to give Zuko a chance to come back to the present. Zuko blushed slightly.
"Sorry Uncle, I was lost in my thoughts," she chuckled nervously. Iroh hummed lightly. He wouldn't press the issue today, but he would have a conversation with his niece soon. The old General realized that there may be more to the story than her just hearing a rumor or asking a question about the Avatar.
Iroh poured two cups of tea and passed one to his niece. She took the cup gingerly and sipped slowly relishing the just so sweetness and aroma of the jasmine tea blend he was so famous for crafting. Iroh nodded with approval. Once Zuko placed her cup on the table, Iroh began.
"First I'd like to begin with a story. I think it will help you to understand the difference between what you call energy bending and what the Avatar does as energy bending." Zuko sat up attentive and ready to hear this story. She realized she was about to learn something that was perhaps lost knowledge or stuck in a forbidden book. Iroh chuckled to himself at his niece's love of stories.
"Millenia ago spirits and humans lived together in harmony. Gods roamed the earth as easily as you or I." Zuko sat with wide sightless eyes taking in every word.
"Among these god-spirits there are gifts and long forgotten arts that were once passed down to humans with the purity of heart to use them wisely. The gift of energy bending comes from the oldest of spirits known as the Lion Turtle. It is not known exactly how many of these majestic creatures remain, but the Avatar was fortunate to encounter one during this war. He had a desire not to kill his enemies and didn't want to use the war as an excuse to compromise his beliefs." He declared.
Zuko remembered the long discussions she and the Avatar had about killing her father. It was bizarre to her that she was for taking the Fire Lord down, but he preferred to find a way not to take her father's life. Their arguments grew quite heated at times to the bewilderment of the water tribe and her own men.
She bit her lip deep in thought. Would she still have felt the same way now that her father had been spared? Iroh watched his niece intently. He began to have a sense that perhaps Zuko knew much more about this story than she let on. He hummed at his niece's odd lack of curiosity and continued.
"In his deep distress, the Avatar was called to a large island sitting in the sea that was not there before. He and his dear Winged lemur swam out to the island and climbed up not realizing that it was perhaps the oldest of spirits in the world. It was there the Avatar wrestled within himself and with his other previous reincarnations to find the answer. Eventually the Lion Turtle revealed to him the secret of using one's chi to remove or diminish another person's chi. The technique is known as energy bending. With this skill, if one's heart is pure enough, the bending chi of another can be removed without killing them though it does have serious side effects." He said. Zuko gasped suddenly.
In an instant Zuko realized what the Avatar had done: instead of killing her father, he removed her father's bending completely rendering him impotent. The implications of this were devastating were the word to get out. Her father could have easily been deposed and still could be because in order to rule the Fire nation, one must use their bending to protect the people. If anyone were to know her father couldn't bend they would surely plot to remove him and replace her father with someone else.
Her mind whirled with questions. How was he able to maintain the fire fountain around his throne? Who else knew about this? Can his bending be restored? Then she had other more sobering thoughts. The ways of the council were unfathomable. There was no limit to the level of intrigues the council members could get entrenched in. No wonder her father was angry and stressed all the time! He was probably living in a constant state of anxiety about his position.
Zuko was touched with a twinge of pity as she thought about her father's predicament. Iroh noted his niece's shock and change in demeanor and realized she knew the truth about her father. Iroh knew that he needed to speak plainly to her.
"The only people who are aware of your father's condition are the Avatar, your cousin, now you, and me. Lu Ten and I assist your father with maintaining the fire fountain and bending displays for events. My brother knows he must find a successor and soon because his health is also diminishing. Losing one's bending shortens the longer lifespan bestowed by the spirits. Azula doesn't know any of this. Her having this knowledge would be devastating to say the least. Ideally, you would have been the heir apparent until your injury. Your father now has to either get one of you married in order to produce an heir or abdicate once his health declines and the council chooses a new Fire Lord. This is not ideal. Most of the council members would gladly return to attempting world domination." Iroh sat back resting his hands on his midsection and sighed deeply. Zuko also sighed in turn. She shook her head in disbelief.
"I knew Aang didn't want to kill him, but I never would have guessed he'd be willing to do something so shocking. In a way this is probably worse than death, but I suppose I really can't blame him." She said more to herself than her uncle. Iroh sat up sharply. "How did you know the Avatar's name, niece?" he asked incredulously. Oh. Darn it.
"I... thought perhaps I heard it from a nobleman?" She began lying badly. Iroh didn't say anything but Zuko knew he was staring her down. She felt his intense gaze and knew that it was her turn to tell a story.
A few moments later, Iroh sat stunned at the level of deception and subterfuge his niece was capable of during the war. His sweet, kind, and fun-loving little niece had the entire nation fooled into thinking that she was a prisoner of war and had nothing to do with the last great battle or her father's defeat.
No one would ever have suspected that Zuko would be able to side with her nation's enemies and use a small band of servicemen to end the war and bring about a more peaceful end than a full-on battle during Sozin's comet.
Citizens and noblemen alike thought the Avatar meeting Fire Lord Ozai in the Earth Kingdom canyon on the day of the comet was fate. It was clear that the Fire Lord's defeat was a sign that the war needed to end for everyone's sake and the people welcomed Zuko home a hero. In many ways she was.
She made a very risky move to save her people. Her plan easily could have backfired, but her sincerity and earnest won over the rulers of the other nations and saved her people from facing the same fate as the Air Nomads.
Iroh knew now that he could never again underestimate his niece. She was far more capable a ruler than she let on and perhaps the council should reconsider her as the heir apparent. Zuko, however, began to worry her lip nervously. She shared with her uncle a secret that could have her executed with the right prompting. Iroh grabbed her hand gently.
"Dear niece, do not be afraid. I know now that your heart is truly for the Fire Nation. Whatever fate has in store for you, will not have you relegated to sitting idly in the shadows or in a prison cell. I will keep your secret as you will keep mine. We are both bound by a secret knowledge that could make or break this kingdom. I do think, however, it may be time now to include you in more of the family business, Zuko." Iroh said with a knowing smile.
Zuko released the breath she was holding with an airy laugh. Iroh chuckled softly. "Your training in diplomacy starts tomorrow my dear. We shall work together to find a way to repair the breach between the Earth king and your father." He declared. Zuko's mouth dropped open in disbelief. Her uncle was giving her a chance to make real change in her country? Zuko felt like she was dreaming. Iroh helped his niece stand to her feet.
"Tomorrow we must investigate. I will also invite Toph to join us because I believe I will need her special skill set to help me do a little detective work. I urge you to get a good rest tonight my niece and remember to continue to guard your words as you have always done. We must find a way to stabilize our kingdom not just for now, but for foreseeable future. I am proud of you Princess Zuko. You continue to impress me with your capacity for growth." Iroh said with a sense of nostalgia. Zuko blushed slightly and smiled at her uncle's praise.
Uncle and niece bowed to one another as Zuko exited her uncle's parlor. "Have a good evening my dear." He said as she made her way to her own chambers. Azula watched curiously in the corridor as her sister left her uncle's antechamber. She wondered why Zuko was hanging out in her uncle's room. What is she up to now? Azula wondered. The younger princess decided she would watch her sister a little more closely in case there was something intriguing to learn.