Sorry to update so late, guys. I'm in high school, which means I have to concentrate a lot on my studies, especially now that we have a strange system because of the pandemic, which makes this stage of our lives more difficult, so I won't have as much time to update history as I used to.

Chapter X: The Miserable

Selesdria

"These here are yada-yada berries and they turn anyone who eats them into stone, so take a good look at them to make sure you don't mistake them for blueberries," Galena explained by showing her some round purple berries that were very similar to blueberries, but bigger.

Selesdria only nodded, as she had read about those berries in a book at Butterfly Castle and knew full well how dangerous they were. The Frog Woman had become a mentor in the art of traditional monster medicine and was teaching her all kinds of herbs and ointments, to which Selesdria was very grateful. She was fascinated by how mixing a few ingredients produced a paste that could soothe pain or even tinctures that could calm people down in a matter of minutes.

"Selesdria, look at this flower. What can you tell me about it?"

The princess took a look at the dried plant that Galena pointed out to her. The flower had six purple petals with black tips, the stem was dark green and had tiny thorns scattered throughout it.

"It's a Black Pearl," she immediately recognized. "They can only be found in the Forest of Certain Death and they bloom from midnight and close at dawn. They give off a very sweet and appealing aroma that serves to attract insects because they are their prey and are very poisonous."

"Black Pearls are the most dangerous flowers in all of Mewni," Galena said seriously. "The stem and pollen are poisonous enough to kill an entire army in a matter of minutes. When you pick them up, don't smell them under any circumstances and remember that it is safer to use them dissected, although freshly picked they have a more potent effect when making poisons."

While storing the herbs and berries in small cloth bags, Selesdria noticed for the first time that there were some flowers that were unfamiliar to her. The stems were long, erect, riddled with pale green, smooth leaves, and branched out into clusters of tiny, silvery, sharp flowers.

"Galena, what are these flowers for?" she asked.

"I imagine you have noticed that some women from the camp come to see me very early in the morning from time to time. What do you think these flowers have to do with it?

Selesdria looked at the plants in surprise and her mouth opened in the shape of an "oh".

"They are to prevent pregnancy."

"They're called Moonspine Flowers, although they're more commonly known as the Woman's Herb," Galena nodded, "and they have abortive and contraceptive properties. They are the main ingredient of the tea with the same name that I give to the women who visit me after spending the night with one of the men of this army. As you know, a war camp is no place for a pregnant woman. I didn't give you the tea because you didn't ask for it and because I didn't even know if a Mewman could get pregnant by a Septarian," the old woman explained.

"Will you teach me how to make that tea?" Selesdria asked curiously.

"Of course, but you must know that it has to be prepared very carefully. Too much of this flower in the tea can be dangerous, and if it is drunk too often for too long it causes serious fertility problems for the woman and her offspring. But it can be helpful in triggering labor when the pregnancy is lasting too long."

The preparation of the tea was quite easy and its ingredients simple: Moonspine, two tablespoons of honey, ginger, parsley and a powdered root of Stinky Mint from the swamps. After preparing the tea, it had to be left to rest for three to five minutes so that it would cool enough to drink.

"We're done. By the way, have you asked Toffee what you told me the other day?"

She had been thinking for some time about asking Toffee to teach her how to use the dagger or even the spear either before or after the baby was born. They were light weapons, and seemed easy to use.

"No, not yet," Selesdria admitted fiddling with a berry between her index finger and thumb. "It's just... I'm afraid he'll say no, or worse, that he'll think I'm trying too hard and tell me to stop practicing my bow or my magic."

"Nonsense," Galena snorted. "When has he ever said no to you? He spoils you more than you realize. And it's important that you know how to defend yourself hand to hand. You can't depend on your magic and be protected by others all your life," a small grimace appeared on her face. "I still can't believe your family didn't teach you the basics of combat."

Selesdria felt a slight bitterness in her chest as she remembered her restricted life at Butterfly Castle.

"My parents thought I was too weak and that physical activity would not be good for my health, particularly my mother," she explained.

"Hm, it's true that you're very fragile and weak, but it seems to me that your mother was overly concerned."

"I know," Selesdria muttered and felt her heart shrink slightly. "She lost her mother at an early age and many responsibilities fell on her shoulders, and from the time I was born I had high fevers and got sick easily. Many thought I wouldn't even make it to five years old!" And besides that, there was her magic control problem. She remembered when she levitated the castle at age seven, the three maids she never saw again and the explosions of magic when she was upset... "I understand that she was protective and strict, but she sometimes became dominant and everything was so suffocating."

"I can't say I don't understand her," Galena said, crossing her arms. "We mothers always try to protect our children from any danger, even if it means they hate us. The problem is that sometimes we think we have the right to decide what's best for them even though it's their lives."

Selesdria said nothing and caressed her belly. A life was forming inside her; her daughter, the first hybrid between a Mewman and a monster. 'And Seth's long-awaited weapon to exterminate the Mewmans.' But that was not to be. She would die before anyone laid a hand on her daughter. 'Mom and Dad love you so much,' she thought. 'No one will hurt you, I promise.'

The first thing Selesdria saw when she left Galena's tent was many monsters gathering at the entrance to the camp, talking nervously and angrily. Curious and surprised, she approached them. With each step she took, she could understand more of what they were saying.

"Where did these children come from?

"I don't know, but they seem to have had a hard time.

"But are they going to stay here?

Selesdria didn't understand anything. What children were they referring to? She pushed her way through the monsters with light pushes and small spaces where she could slip in as none of them seemed to notice that she was there. She peeked behind the back of a lava-colored Septarian and was breathless at the sight of what lay before her. She had to blink several times and rub her eyes to make sure she wasn't hallucinating.

The scouts who had been sent out a few days earlier had returned, but they were not alone. Next to Carter were two young monster children, a boy and a girl. The girl was a small nine-year-old Cyclops, with four arms, greenish-blue skin, purple hair that fell under her shoulders, a small horn on her head and a tail that ended in the shape of an arrow. The boy, who must have been five or six years old, was a green skinned Size Shifter without horns and with short, unkempt hair of a grape color. They both had scratches all over their bodies and their clothes were torn and dirty and looked like they hadn't eaten or slept well in days.

"What's going on here?" Seth's loud voice silenced everyone.

The monsters stepped aside to let the imposing lizard general, who was accompanied by Toffee, pass by. The two Septarians, king and prince, remained looking at the children without showing any emotion, impassive, until Seth spoke again, this time looking at William.

"What is this?" he said, in a cold and commanding tone that made it clear he wanted an explanation immediately.

The lion stood upright, proud, but Selesdria could see that he swallowed saliva and his eyes blinked nervously for a few seconds.

"We found them near a village raided by the Solarian Army. I felt that we could not abandon them."

"I see," Seth nodded uninterestedly. "And where is the Solarian Army, William?

A drop of sweat fell on the lion's forehead and he took a deep breath.

"We are not sure," he confessed after a brief silence. "When we found them the village had already been destroyed along with its inhabitants and the warriors were nowhere to be found, nor did we locate any tracks.

"And when this happened, exactly?"

"Yesterday."

"And where is the village to which these children belong?"

"A few miles to the north."

"So, after enduring five years in a fierce war and an icy hell that almost killed us all, fighting tirelessly to get back what belongs to us, you decide to abort the mission of locating the enemy, who is right under our noses and has caused numerous casualties, to bring some orphans into the camp," Seth said with ice in his voice. "What were you thinking?"

"We could not abandon them, sir!" Carter exclaimed. "They were in danger."

"And here they are not, among soldiers who sharpen swords and axes, get sick and go out to fight to die or come back wounded?" Seth narrowed his eyes. "We're too busy to babysit. The best thing would have been for you to leave them where you found them and fulfill your mission."

"They would have died, my general," William said.

"And how many of us will die because we don't know specifically where the Solarian Warriors are? How many villages will end up like these children's because you didn't do your duty?"

Some monsters murmured in agreement with Seth while others supported William. Even so, no one dared to intervene in the matter and they stayed in their places, watching and listening. Selesdria stared in complete silence, saying absolutely nothing. She was aware of what it meant that William and the rest of the explorers were not fulfilling their mission, but she firmly believed that they did the right thing by not abandoning those children.

"P-please, sir," the Cyclops girl said for the first time. Her young voice trembled and tears threatened to come out of her one eye. "W-we have nowhere else to go."

Seth did not seem moved by the plea.

"This is a war camp, child, not a kindergarten."

"There are several villages in the depths of the Forest of Certain Death. We could send some soldiers to visit them and see which ones are willing to take care of them while the children help us with simple tasks," Toffee said in a calm voice and monotonous face. His golden eyes looked at the crowd and stopped at Selesdria for a few seconds. Then he looked back at the lion. "And William will later receive a proper punishment for his insubordination."

"Hm, I guess it's fair enough," Seth commented and raised his voice. "All right, while I punish William and his stupidity, you" he addressed the scouts, "will be the ones to go visit the villages. In the meantime, the children will have to be under someone's care to make sure they don't do anything foolish."

"They can stay with us," Selesdria said. The monsters around her moved away to give her space and she smiled as she looked at the children. "Our tent and bed are spacious enough, and since I don't have as many responsibilities as the others I can take care of them."

The children screamed in fear and looked at her with dread, horror, as if they were seeing a nightmare come true. They huddled together and quickly retreated, hiding behind Carter, shaking uncontrollably and with watery eyes. Selesdria felt her heart squeeze into her chest. 'You don't have to hide from me, sweet children. I will not harm you,' she wanted to tell them, but she did not dare because she feared their reaction. Almost by instinct her eyes sought out Toffee's. The look they shared was so fleeting that it didn't last two seconds, but it was enough to understand each other.

Her loving husband knelt beside the children, with a strange look in his eyes, and whispered something to them so softly that it was impossible for her to hear it. The children stopped shaking, but it was obvious they were still alert and looked at her through the corners of their eyes, distrustful. 'Whatever Toffee told them was effective enough to calm them down a bit.' This made Selesdria's heart full of pride and love.

Seth looked her in the eye, dominant, serious, in a silence that seemed eternal. Neither said anything and neither looked away from the other. The Septarian leader's gaze was relentless and intimidating, but Selesdria would not back down and looked back at him with defiance and firmness. The monsters watched the confrontation between the Septarian King and Princess Butterfly tense, nervous, waiting for one of them to give in.

"You will feed them yourself," he said at last, putting an end to the silent struggle. His orange-red eyes reflected contempt and another emotion that Selesdria could not identify. "You will take care of them yourself, and if they die before we find a home for them, you will bury them yourself," he concluded with a severe hiss and walked away.

Only when the people dispersed to return to their tasks was Selesdria allowed to enjoy the sweet taste of victory. She approached the children and knelt down beside them. They stepped back, and if it wasn't for Toffee being behind them, they would surely have run away.

"Don't worry," Selesdria muttered and slowly raised a hand. "I just want to heal your wounds."

"No!" the girl shouted, hitting Selesdria's hand. Bitter tears were streaming from her eye, and her voice was trembling. "Don't touch us!"

"Sorry," the princess quickly apologized. "I didn't mean to..."

"N-Never mind! Go away!"

"That's enough," Toffee spoke. He looked disapprovingly at the children and stood next to Selesdria. "If you don't want her to cure you then we'll take you to Galena. While that grumpy old lady disinfects and sews up your wounds, we'll get you some clothes, food, and a bath. Is that okay with you, or are you going to protest too?"

Toffee's words, or perhaps the way he looked at them, made them shut up and simply nodded submissively. She and Toffee walked to Galena's tent, followed by the children who were holding each other's hands. Once inside Selesdria could smell again the strong and bitter smell of the herbs and saw the old woman in the middle of preparing one of her ointments. She stopped as she looked up.

"Is anything wrong?"

"We've brought you some injured children," Selesdria explained. "The scouts found them and brought them to the camp. They will stay with us until we find a home for them in one of the villages in the forest."

"And why don't you cure them with your magic?"

"Their village was attacked, Galena," Toffee said. That phrase was the only explanation she needed to understand the situation.

"All right, let me take a look at them," she said, wiping her hands with her brown apron.

Toffee and Selesdria left to get what they needed for the children while Galena did her job. They told Rasticore and two other Septarians to bring them one of the big wooden bathtubs used by the high-ranking soldiers, then a couple of small monsters gave them clothes for the children and finally they got a couple of bowls full of stew, two apples and wild berries. They put the food on their table, the clothes on the bed and the bathtub in a corner of the store, filled with warm water and a couple of old blankets next to it.

"I hope they like it," Selesdria thought aloud, looking carefully at every object in the tent.

"Whether they like it or not doesn't matter," Toffee said, sitting in a chair. "The most important thing is that they understand how lucky they were to survive the attack and that they got a shelter with all possible comforts in the middle of the war. In other circumstances they would have been left to their fate without a second thought. You could almost say they owe us their lives."

"Like me, right?" A knot formed in her throat and Selesdria looked at the floor.

Toffee said nothing and although she didn't look at him she could feel his intense golden gaze on her. Her chest felt heavy, tight, as if someone was holding her heart in a clenched hand.

"It's not what you think. It's true that they are similar situations, but..."

"They are not similar, they are the same!" Selesdria interrupted him. A chill ran down her back and she was cold all over. "They are hungry, wounded and alone, lost and frightened... The only difference is that I am a Butterfly with access to magic, which is what saved my life, but them... They have nothing and no one to help them. They are a burden to everyone, as I have been all my life."

"Selesdria..."

"And the worst thing is that they are in this situation because of my people and my family," the tears would well up in her eyes. "As Princess Butterfly, and especially as a person, it is my duty and responsibility to help them and make them see that not all Mewmans are... monsters," she took a deep breath and slowly released it. "I mean, why did the gods make kings and queens, princes and princesses if not to protect those who cannot protect themselves?"

Selesdria heard the dragging of the chair against the floor and Toffee's light steps. He hugged her from behind and pulled her towards him, wrapping one arm around her waist and the other around her head. He caressed her hair in a very gentle and sweet way, and Selesdria felt warm and secure in his arms.

"And then there's Seth..." she muttered, "I can't get out of my head what Mosi told us two nights ago. I feel stupid for not realizing it sooner, and angry that someone wants to use our daughter as a secret weapon. I don't care if they use me as a tool, but it's a different matter if it's my family."

"We are all tools for achieving a goal at some point in our lives, whether by our own plans or those of others," Toffee said and turned to Selesdria to look her in the face. His golden eyes looked hard, angry. "I know you are worried about what Mosi told us, but I have already told you that I will take care of this matter. And stop calling yourself a burden. I have already told you that you are not."

"Yes, but that doesn't mean that I don't sometimes feel useless, especially now that I know the intentions of that sinister lizard," Selesdria muttered. "The idea of you taking care of him, his allies, the whole thing, is unpleasant and concerns me."

"I can do it, princess," he calmly stated. "I have contacts with other monsters and my people by my side. Seth is old and his leadership is not leading us very well. You just have to trust m..."

"That's not it at all!" Selesdria shouted, interrupting him. "You don't get it, do you? I don't want to be left out of it. I don't want to sit around, drinking tea quietly while you risk your life. I don't want to be behind you, I want to be by your side."

"So that's what it's all about," Toffee whispered."You weren't worried about Seth, you were worried about me."

"Of course I do," Selesdria said quietly, tired. "It doesn't matter how many allies you have or that you can regenerate or the odds of winning. I will always care about you, even though I shouldn't."

Toffee let out a very soft sigh, so soft that it was barely noticeable. He turned around and sat back in the chair, one arm above the backrest. She sat on one of his knees and hugged his neck, burying her face in his chest. Selesdria felt that the weight she had been carrying for two nights was disappearing and being replaced by a sweet relief. 'I needed to tell him so badly...'

"Selesdria," Toffee said and his breath sent a tingling sensation down Selesdria's back. "If I want to leave you out of this, it's because I don't want anything bad to happen to you or our child. You don't know what a fight between Septarians looks like. My people don't have the slightest sense of pity against their enemies, we erase that during training in our childhood, and killing for us is a natural thing."

He caressed her hair very lightly, carefully, as if afraid of scaring her.

"One day you won't be here anymore, and then my life will be over," his voice was full of bitterness, masking what Selesdria thought was pain or sadness, or maybe both. "With you my life has a beginning, middle and an end, and I would like to push the end away as much as possible, do you understand, princess?"

"You don't need to remind me of my fragility, I know it better than anyone else," she said and stroked his cheek. "A hundred years is a sigh for a Septarian, but that is more than the whole existence of a Mewman. It doesn't matter if I know my end or the measure of my days. My lifetime is not longer than the width of my hand. And that is why we must enjoy the present".

Toffee placed his hand over hers and his gaze pierced her eyes. The gold and the periwinkle collided, looking at each other without blinking. Selesdria sank into its depths, drowning in a sea as yellow and bright as the sun, and if it had been physically possible she would have melted in her husband's arms. 'If I were to die now, at this very moment, I would die happy and in peace.'

"Just the present?"

"Yes, because it's all we have."

The rest of the day had been weird and uncomfortable. The children, whose names were Grace and Philip, barely spoke except to ask a question or two and kept their eyes down the whole time. Selesdria and Toffee bathed and dried them with the old sheets, helped them change their clothes and sat them down at the table to eat. Their eyes opened like plates when they saw the food and for the first time they smiled. It didn't take them even five minutes to devour it all without leaving any leftovers. 'It must have been a feast for them.'

Selesdria treated them cordially and also tried not to get too close or talk too much to them and they did the same, sometimes retreating to the other side of the tent or hiding behind a chair or the bed. Their eyes were sad and full of mistrust and Grace, probably because she was the oldest and was more aware of what happened to her village, looked at her with a slight contempt. This did not depress Selesdria, but did the opposite and every time they looked at her she smiled at them. She was well aware that their attitude would not change overnight and they probably already hated her and her people, but she was determined to try to let them see all Mewmans were not the same.

The most complicated part came at night. Grace and Philip flatly refused to sleep in the same bed as her and preferred to take some sheets and spend the night on the floor. Selesdria considered trying to convince them, but in the end decided to put the matter aside and let the children do what they wanted. Toffee stayed out of it, but whispered words of comfort in her ear once they got into bed.

She closed her eyes and when she opened them again she found herself in her world of dreams.

The world of dreams was an infinite and undefined space, of very soft green, yellow and blue colors that undulated and floated like a northern light in the sky. It was beautiful and conveyed a deep sense of peace and relaxation, as if all problems in the outer world were forgotten. It was wonderful, and it belonged to her.

She blinked once and the world was deformed and transformed into a beautiful landscape. Crystal clear water was everywhere, extending as far as the eye could see, white butterflies flew gracefully and landed on purple flowers that grew from the depths of the water and came to the surface. The stars twinkled in the sky, and below, in front of Selesdria, was a heavenwood forest led by the largest tree she had ever seen. White branches full of platinum-golden leaves stretched out on all sides, thick roots sprouted from the strong, sturdy trunk and sank into the water, and fresh pink lotus flowers floated around them, filling the air with a sweet smell.

"It's beautiful," a youthful and feminine voice spoke.

A small figure descended nimbly from the top of the great tree, running, until it stopped at a root. It was a little white mouse with black eyes, a pearl in the forehead, long and soft coat and a pinkish tail.

"Hello, Luster," Selesdria waved as she approached.

Every night in her sleep since Selesdria first and only activated her Butterfly Form she traveled to the world of dreams, where Luster visited her. In each dream she presented herself as a different animal. The first time she was a fox, then a cat, a doe, a bird... and the list went on. She said she was her familiar spirit and that their lives were tied up for life.

"The familiars are magic spirits who make deals with magic users," she explained in the first dream."The main purpose of familiars is to serve and assist their master, providing protection as they acquire their new powers. We often perform domestic duties. We run errands, spy, bring messages, help in farming but also aid our master in bewitching people. Normally the pact is temporary, but ours will last as long as you live."

"I've never heard of you," Selesdria looked at her in confusion. "And I've never read anything that mentions a Butterfly Queen making a pact with a familiar either."

Luster's eyes glowed with fury and she tilted her head in a gesture of contempt, and if she had arms she would surely have crossed them.

"That's because they stink. We can't stand the smell of rust and impurity that surrounds them and that ordinary trinket they wave like a rattle.

"Are you talking about the wand? And what do you mean by 'rust' and 'impurity'?"

"They were not born to do magic, it was not their destiny," Luster responded seriously."The wand is what provides them with magic, what brings them into contact with it, their powers do not come from them, but from the contamination of that object. They were not chosen like you."

Selesdria was silent for a moment.

"Chosen, you say?"

"You were born with magic, they were not," Luster rubbed against her legs. "Your scent is pure, clean, natural, and theirs is not."

Chosen... How funny. Selesdria had always considered many things, but not that one, never that one. She had considered herself cursed for having such a weak body and for having access to magic and not being able to control it. Because of that she was feared, mocked, isolated and deprived of her birthright. Someone 'chosen' had to be a strong person, with luck on his side, with a great destiny. The word 'chosen' was a mockery of her in her eyes.

"Selesdria?" Luster looked at her with her mouse head tilted. "You're so thoughtful, and you're feeling sad. What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing, it's not important," she said, but it was clear that her familiar didn't believe it.

"If you say so..."Luster murmured.

"You still can't manifest yourself in physical form?" Selesdria quickly changed the subject.

"No, and it's so annoying," she snorted and lay down at the root. "I just can´t do it like every familiar does, like there is something blocking me, although I don't really know what. At least I can communicate with you now, even if it's through dreams, which is something. I want to be by your side, but not like this."

"It's all right," Selesdria took her in her hands and sat down at the root. "We'll work it out."

"We familiars are supposed to manifest physically using our connection to our masters' magic, but I can't."

"Maybe it's because of my lack of control," Selesdria said to herself. "I guess I should keep training, even though it's very difficult now because of my condition and the kids. Be patient, okay?"

"I will be," Luster said. "I've been patient for seventeen years, so I can be a little more patient."

"Good girl," Selesdria stroked her fur with one finger and dreamed all night about a heavenwood forest, a night sky and crystal clear water.