I'm Always Here For You.
- Mabel's POV -
My eyes opened as I stared at the ceiling of the room. I sat up and stretched out my limbs. I swear, writing the daily report last night was tiring me out. No worries! Today will be a good day! I stood up from my bed and looked at the time on the end table. Whoops, I got up at 5:30 in the morning. Oh well, at least it leaves me with making a surprise for the family.
I walked over to the closet and pulled out some fresh clothes. I then walked out of my room, headed downstairs, and into the bathroom to change. After I did that, I opened the medicine cabinet and grabbed Dipper's medication. I then walked out of the bathroom and over to the kitchen where I pour a glass of water. Then I took them upstairs and place them on the end table when I entered the room. I turned away and walked out of the room and down the stairs again. What would I surprise my family with? Oh! Mabel's Magical Juice! I used to make it over back at my old home! Until my mom got mad at me for it... maybe I could make it again. Yes, I can! It won't take long to make, anyway.
I walked into the kitchen and dug in the cabinets to find a pitcher. I found one and I filled it with water in the sink. Once it was filled, I set it on the counter before rushing upstairs to get my glitter. I set the small container beside the pitcher before digging around the kitchen for some bag flavors. I found an orange, blueberry, and grape bag flavor. Perfect. I place them right beside the pitcher before pulling the sugar container over.
Alrighty then! Let's get to work!
First, I tear each pack and dump them into the water before getting a 1/2 cup to scoop sugar into it. Next, I open my glitter bottle and sprinkle some in there. I stopped and place it on the container before grabbing the big spoon to mix it all together. The orange, blueberry, and grape flavors mixed and combined into a pink color, more so an... violet color, hot pink? I don't know, but it's duller than whatever light color it is. Lastly, I put the lid on the pitcher before putting it in the fridge. I rub my hands together as a smile appears on my lips. ``I can't wait until my grunkles try it out.`` I said before turning away and cleaning up my station.
``Try what?`` I heard an older voice. I turned around and saw Grunkle Stan standing in the kitchen's archway. ``Uh... my juice I just made!`` I smiled.
``Oh. I can't wait to try it, pumpkin. But first, I would like to taste my lukewarm coffee. Stanford taking you guys today, right?`` He said, opening the fridge.
``Yep! Oh, I should get Dipper up.`` I said before rushing out. Grunkle Stan placed his hand on my shoulder on the way out. ``Don't be pushy with him. You've been doing that lately, and I think it's taking a toll on his health.`` He said.
``I'm not and it's not. I'm sure what I'm doing isn't making it worse.`` I said. He let me go and nodded. He had that worried expression on his face. I brushed it off and woke my brother up. In fact, I didn't need to. He got up on his own and took his meds. I'm proud of him for that. We both got ready and went off with Grunkle Ford. Once he dropped us off, my brother got a head start. ``Hey, wait for me!`` I called out to him. I soon caught up with him.
``I am walking slowly so there's plenty of time for you to catch up.`` He said.
``Well, it's nice if we walked together.`` I said before watching him roll his eyes. ``You didn't need to roll your eyes.``
``You didn't need to point that out.`` He said.
``Well, I think it was unnecessary. So, don't do that again?`` I said, staring at him with a serious expression. It wasn't required for this current atmosphere.
``Fine.`` He said before turning away from me. As we halted at the school doors, I smiled and turned to him. ``Well, I hope you have a good day, today!`` I chirped before entering first. Since I don't see my brother throughout the day, it was nice. So perfect that I couldn't stop chatting with my boyfriend during music class. I was so happy that nothing was going to ruin this day. Everything was going smoothly, and I loved it.
Soon school was over, and I was outside of the entrance, waiting for my brother. I saw him just a second as he was trying to blend in with the crowd. Not too fast, brother! I quickly caught up with him. It disappointed him to see me. ``You can't escape me!`` I giggled before pulling him into an embrace.
``I realize that.`` He said, trying to push me away. I let him go as I smiled. He just stares at me with an annoyed expression.
``Cheer up! It's not so bad being hugged by your sister.`` I chuckled.
``Yeah, I know.`` He said turning and walking away.
``Is it because of my bright sunshine smile?`` I asked, following him.
``Yes, it is.`` He said.
``Aww, the little vampire doesn't want my brightness.`` I chuckled again.
``Yeah... I don't.`` Dipper said, sounding annoyed as hell. Brush it off, at least your happy now and that's what matters right now. We walked in silence down the sidewalk. I was getting shivers left and right as it continued on. I soon strike up a conversation. My brother responded with dull answers or statements, making me think he's less interested in what I shared today.
``Oh! Didn't I tell you I had a boyfriend?`` I said. I watched him looked over to me with a surprised expression. ``Yep!``
``... That's good for you.`` He quietly said.
``Don't worry, Dipper! I'm sure you'll find someone.`` I said, elbowing him.
``I know I will. Just not with your help.`` He said.
``It will definitely be with my help!`` I said, huffing. What does he think he can't do without me?
``No it won't.`` He said, raising his voice.
``Hey, maybe I can give you some suggestions! How about that?`` I said, crossing my arms.
``Maybe.`` He muttered.
``Maybe? Aww...`` I frowned.
``Not everything will be yes or no in your favor.`` He said.
``It will certainly be!`` I said, speeding up the pace.
``And not everything will go your way.`` I heard him say. I halted my steps. I liked it when he was stupid. I continued my pace. Something is telling me he didn't take his meds. We arrived at the shack as Dipper stayed on the first floor. I shrug it off and went upstairs. I place my backpack down and landed on my bed. I hugged my pillow and giggled uncontrollably. This day has been too good!
``I'll just pretend I didn't hear that.`` I widened my eyes and sat up over to Dipper, who was setting his binder on the desk.
``Crap! I am so sorry! I didn't realize you were behind me!`` I quickly said, blushing in embarrassment.
``It's alright. I could have knocked before walking in.`` He said before leaving the room.
I fell back on my bed and cringed. What was I thinking?! I should have checked to make sure no one was watching! I sat up and let out a sigh. No worries, it's over! Just don't do that ever again. I looked over at the window and noticed it was evening. A few hours have passed and I'm already getting up to write some more in my diary. I looked over at my brother's empty bed. Usually, he would be here by now. I turned and walked out of the room and downstairs. I checked the kitchen, the bathroom, the living room, the gift shop, and other extra rooms I missed. Did he leave the shack without telling me?! I rushed back upstairs and over to the desk. He surely took his phone... so I might have a word with him.
I wonder where he could have gone off to.
- Dipper's POV -
The jungle's leaves were covering each bush, each creature whenever rain droplets poured down. It rained upon the ground and any living being it landed on, releasing a soothing tone to the evening atmosphere. I looked over at the tiny stream and over at the leaves that were coming off of the trees. ``I'm finally away from my annoying sister.`` I said as I let out a sigh of relief. I turned my head and stared at a tiny person who was staring at me. ``Annoying sister? Now, I must know.`` I watched it climb down the log and over to where I was sitting. ``And why do you want to know?`` I asked.
``Oh, for no reason.`` The tiny person said, looking around. I knew this idiot was lying. I crossed my legs before giving him the glares. He stared at me and soon got nervous before he gave up. ``Alright! I will tell since this glare of yours is scaring me.`` He wipes himself off, presenting himself more properly. ``It's for leadership for our people.``
``Don't act stupid.`` I said, sounding aggressive.
``Hey! I was going to ask, but from the way you're sounding; I guess it's a no.`` The tiny person said, having his hands out to protect himself from me.
``Don't you have to deal with other tribes anyway?`` I asked.
``We do! But it'll be delightful if we had a queen or some sort. I guess we can keep looking.`` He said. ``By the way, why are you out here? It's getting late and soon the jungle will catch your mind.``
``I don't think it does that anymore, and I couldn't care less either way. If it catches my mind, I can kiss life goodbye.`` I said with a dead tone.
``So your eager to waste life like that? Wow kid, I never thought you would be at the end of this edge.`` He said, surprised. ``By the way, I'm Jeff!``
``I won't remember your name.`` I said, looking away from him.
``That's true, but at least you have someone to talk to if you want that is.`` Jeff said.
``I just want silence... not someone to talk to.`` I hissed.
``Alright! Jeez! Don't attack me!`` He said. I turned to glare at him as he backed away. ``I'll just go.`` I grunted before getting up on my feet and walked off. ``Or you can just go!`` I heard him say. Shut up. Just shut it! I walked through some bushes and into a clearing that seems to have some creatures hiding underneath the huge leaves. I lifted my head up and locked eyes with a big branch above. I turned and went over to the closest tree and climbed on it until I reached that branch. I stood upon it and looked down without a care. I looked ahead and continued on my way, deeper into the jungle. The rain has now calmed down, but only a little. I could feel its droplets drop on me still. I crossed each small branch and a few tiny people that I ignored. Soon I came across branches that led to glowing mosses that seemed above something that sparkles down below. I shook my head out of it and stepped forward. There were these thick leaves that had enough strength to hold up any creature. I sat on them and stared at the moss.
Every single time I stare at something, I feel a part of me, a chunk of me falling apart, making me go insane. I don't want to feel this way, but... it's all her fault. I don't want to say that, but... I feel like it is. I placed my hand on my heart. I felt it racing again as I grew quieter than before. Why can't everything go just the way they are? I... I feel so much pain building up within me. Whenever I was under those drugs, I felt so trapped, like I couldn't be myself. There was this invisible force that prevented me from being me. And I hated it.
It makes sense for those mental breakdowns; I yelled at the skies to just take me away. Get rid of all of this pain that I was suffering deep and I... I couldn't... I couldn't tell my family. I can't tell Mabel for Christ' sake, or else she may think I'm a slob again... I still remember the day she insulted me. I... I don't know what to do in that situation. I don't know if I should obey her more. I shouldn't, but... if I don't... I get punished. I don't want to think this way! I don't want to... I don't want to.
Why can't everything shut up for once? My thoughts keep throwing in more things to think about, and I can't even hear the pounding in my head. I only heard the racing heart that I felt within me. I looked up to the skies, noticing it stopped raining. ``... please make it stop...`` I whimpered out. I rubbed my head before staring intensely at one spot. Soon the world muted itself from me, I couldn't hear it anymore. I couldn't hear my own thoughts, I don't even know what I was thinking... am I trapped under the meds again? I didn't take them, but it felt like I did... ``Anyone? Please...`` I spoke out, but as if I can't even hear my voice. What is going on?! Why am I acting this way? Why is this happening?!
I frantically looked around, panicked and frightened like a lost cub looking for its mother. I opened my mouth to scream, but I didn't hear it. I soon noticed my limbs were violently shaking, my sight was growing blurry every second. Am I losing it? For once in a lifetime, I lost myself... I felt like I was dying at this given movement. Until I heard a voice.
Why in all places I could hear this voice? It was soothing, grabbing my attention from the earthquake that was happening within me. I soon felt a warm presence wrapped around me. What's... going on? Was the figure who called out to me is... near me? It felt so close, too close to confront. But something urged me to stay put and stay still. Soon the soothing voice came back once more, catching my attention. I wished to understand what the figure was saying, but I was still panicking. I wanted to snap out and hug whoever this was, as I couldn't see. I closed my eyes and listened to them, trying to come back to life from this void I stuck myself in.
The soft-spoken voice became clearer as I began to hear the jungle's noises again. I still felt my heartbeat every second, attempting to escape my chest, but at least it's slowing down it's pacing. Soon, I heard what the figure's voice was. ``Just listen to my voice... if you can hear me that is...`` I quickly recognize who this was. I wanted to open my mouth to speak the words, but I think I hesitated. I slowly opened my eyes and leaned back, and that warmth disappeared from around me. I looked in front of me. There he was, having the most worried expression I have ever seen. I still felt a bit freaked out, like I was going to lose it once more. ``...Are we good?`` Kahlil softly asked.
``N-no..`` I managed out. ``I-I don't...`` I said, feeling my heart race again.
``Then focus on something else.`` He quietly said.
``...H-how? I don't know how!`` I raised my voice.
``Hey, shush. That will not make the situation better.`` He said, continuing to speak in a soft-spoken voice.
``... I don't... know..`` I muttered, feeling the waterworks coming through. ``I don't know...``
``Dipper, relax, and calm down.`` He softly said, catching my attention once more. I stared at him before feeling tears coming down my face, I soon lowered my head and covered my right eye with my right hand. I soon burst into tears, sobbing my pain out. And once again, the warm embrace came back, huddling me into this hug that I wished for. I cried for what felt like hours on end, all of that weight built up within me was released. I didn't know when it would end, but it soon did and now, I felt much better than I was feeling before. It then set me in this silence that I created. I soon leaned back, feeling the warmth leave me. ``... Thanks..`` I muttered out.
``No problem.`` Kahlil smiled. I looked away from his face, feeling weird. I never felt this much freedom before, all of those years, all the pain gone from my chest. Why haven't I figure it out that I needed someone close to me to help me out of this mess? Maybe because I was scared to come out. ``... To be honest, I never saw you like that before...`` I heard him say. I looked back at him, looking guilty. ``It's... fine. You don't need to feel sorry.`` He said.
``But... didn't I cause some emotion in you?`` I asked.
``Well, yes. Anger first, because I wanted to see who hurt you, and second, worry. It was all over my head and urged me to help you out of that state. Have you gotten panic attacks before in the past?`` He asked.
``... Unfortunately, yes. But... I think this was the worse one...`` I muttered quietly. ``... I don't... I don't want to talk about it anymore.``
``Alright, I'll stop mentioning it.`` He said. ``... Can I ask who hurt you though?`` His face soon got a bit wary and dark, as if he was going to kill the person if I tell. I looked nervous from the expression before letting out a sigh. ``...Many people did in the past. But only a few damaged me mentally. I mentioned those bullies before... right? Well, those two did, for... over... ten years...`` I muttered. ``And now I just... run away every single time I see them in the hallway.`` I surely looked frightened by now since I was widening my eyes, staring down. ``Is that normal...?``
``Think little about it, I don't even want to hear it myself. It...- anyway. Just don't think about it, don't even think if it's normal, since it's a common occurrence to everyone.`` He said. I ease my eyes and looked back up to him, noticing he stopped mid-sentence. I slowly nodded and decided not to mention it. ``Might have to kill them later though...``
``Don't!`` I raised my voice. He barked a laugh as I blushed. ``Don't do that! You're going to get into trouble!``
``I know that! I just wanted to see what your reaction was going to be once I said it.`` He chuckled. ``I'll just give them "talks"``
`` "talks"? As in what?`` I asked, glaring at him.
``Just some "talks" here and there. I'm not going to tell you because you're going to shout at me again.`` He whimpered.
``... Really?`` I said, shaking my head. ``As much as I don't want you getting into trouble, do it when no one is watching you.``
``Oh? You're giving me permission to kill them?`` He looked surprised.
``No.`` I grunted.
``Good.`` He nodded quickly. ``Anyone else?``
``... Mabel.`` I muttered, looking uncomfortable.
``Oh, what did she do now?`` He asked.
``... Blindly careless, ... called me a slob... and... uh... being controlling?`` I quietly muttered, staring down at my lap again.
``...Somebody's dying tonight.``
``Do not kill my sister, Kahlil!`` I shouted at him, looking back at him.
``I won't!`` He giggled.
``And it's not funny!`` I said.
``I know, I know. I'm just trying to be funny.`` He said, calming himself down.
``At least it's working...`` I muttered, not feeling uncomfortable anymore.
``It's working? Aww yes. That was my plan the entire time.`` He chirped.
``To cheer me up?`` I asked, raising a brow at him.
``Yep!`` He smiled. As soon as he lit up, I glanced away and managed a small smile on my face. ``Is there something bothering you though? You keep looking away.``
``It's nothing.`` I said, looking back at him.
``You sure...?`` He asked, raising a brow. ``I mean, I could go on and say some phrases that relate to what we talk about-``
``I'm sure it's nothing, Kahlil. You don't need to do that for me.`` I softly said.
``I certainly do. It's important to me to make you feel better.`` He said. I turn my gaze away from him, oddly touched and confused. I don't know what to say after that. What do I say? Something... comfortable or... pleasing?
``Did I win this time around?`` He quietly said.
``Win what?`` I asked, looking back at him with a confused gaze.
``Convincing you I can try to... uh... do what I just did.`` He said, smiling nervously. It soon turned into an embarrassment.
``You convinced me enough tonight.`` I said, smiling faintly.
``I did? That's good.`` He quietly said again.
I nodded, making sure it's alright to make a friend cheer up from the depths they have sunk themselves in. I'm glad to have you. ``Can I say you're a good friend? More so best friend... but-``
``What? "Best friend"? Oh, did I move up the friendship rank?`` He said, interrupting me. I blankly stared at him. Rude. He realized what he has done as he looked guilty. ``Sorry.``
``Don't make me take it back.`` I said.
``I said I was sorry. I was trying to ignore the fact that you called me "good." But I guess upgrading this friendship has caught my attention.`` He said.
``What do you mean "good."? Everyone has good in their hearts once a while, don't think too hard about yourself.`` I said. I knew he was going down that route, just didn't want to say anything about it.
``Yeah... that's the hard part.`` He muttered. ``Anyway, should we get you home?``
I blinked at him, changing the topic as I let out a sigh. I turned away, uncomfortable at the word "home." I shrugged and looked back at him. ``Sure, what other nightmare will Mabel cook up for me.`` Kahlil helped me off of the leaves as he stared at me protectively. ``I'll shut her up for once.``
``Don't kill her.`` I hissed.
``If only you let me. I mean, she is good when befriending her and having her around, but it sounds like she missed the important part about having problems inside of the head. Especially that sh-t she pulled at the lunch table the other day. I won't talk much about it since I'm not a professional, but... I could snap her into some sense of-... What has she been doing lately?`` He asked, making me surprised. Jeez, didn't realize he cares about me this much... in fact didn't realize he wants to protect me from her. Something feels fishy here.
``A careless potato.`` I muttered, which made him laugh. ``The ones that... just get annoyed at certain situations that you do, and it makes me feel... like sh-t.`` I continued to talk. He soon calmed down afterward. ``She also told me not to go into the jungle.``
``And what did you do? Go after what makes you feel better, I'll talk some sense into her.`` He said, leading me out of the faint glowing area.
``... Thank you, Kahlil. I don't know why I couldn't bring myself to talk to her myself.`` I said.
``Hey, if somebody messes with someone dear to me, they get the "talk."`` He chuckled. He halted before turning to me. ``Just so you know, I'm always here for you. Got it?``
I nodded, smiling. ``Good! Let's go.`` He said before we head off. I averted my gaze away and down at the ground. I don't want to think too much about it; it hurts when I do, but... sometimes... maybe I should accept it. I need people by my side whenever I'm in tough situations that I can't solve my own. That seems right, but first...
Let's see if I can change my medication.
End of Chapter 32