Chapter 16 – Echoes
Leia was trapped.
She had felt so secure in that dusty compartment – miserable, yes, but secure. There she had been safe from him. From the monster.
But then Luke had come to tell her she had to go. Vader was demanding they accompany him on a mission of sorts. Luke had been apologetic, yet firm.
"You have to come, Leia."
"No I don't! I don't have to do anything he says!"
"You don't have a choice. If you don't come willingly, Vader will drag you onto the ship himself. Please, Leia. Don't make this more difficult than it has to."
And so she had folded, partially out of loyalty to Luke, and partially out of fear for Vader. Now she was seated in a hard plastic bucket seat in the cabin of a small shuttle, Luke at her side, the stoic Commander Vanto opposite them. Leia spared a glance for the open hatch leading to the cockpit. She could make out Vader's hulking figure in the pilot's chair. Thrawn was seated next to him. They seemed to be talking, but Leia couldn't make out the words over the hum of the hyperdrive.
"Are you cold?"
Leia gave Luke a sideways look. Was she cold? Was that really what he had asked her?
"Uh… no, not really," she said.
"Oh, ok," Luke said. He rubbed his arms together and turned away. Leia felt her irritation fade at the sight.
"Are you?" she asked.
Luke gave her a rueful look. "Kind of."
Leia smiled, feebly to be sure, but it was the first in what felt like days. She was so very grateful to have Luke at her side. At least she wasn't going through this alone.
"Here," she said, taking off the oversized vest Captain Solo had given her to wear. "Take this."
"But won't you be cold?" Luke asked.
"I'm used to it," she insisted. "I'm serious. Take it."
Luke did so reluctantly. He threw the vest around his shoulders with a sheepish expression.
"Better?" Leia asked.
"A bit," Luke said.
Leia heard a swooshing sound to her right. She turned to it and saw the hatch door had closed. It seemed Vader and Thrawn felt their conversation wasn't private enough. What could they be talking about?
"Why do you serve Thrawn?" Leia asked, turning to Vanto.
The young man arched a brow, perhaps surprised that she had addressed him at all. He seemed like the type who preferred to melt into the background. "Why do you ask?"
Leia felt agitated. Something about this man's demeanor bothered her. "Do you know what he did to Luke?"
"He told me," Vanto said grimly.
"And you have no problem with that?"
Vanto was silent for a long while. His eyes flicked back and forth between Luke and herself, his gaze cold and incisive. Compassion was the furthest thing from his mind.
"You must understand," he said finally, his accented speech slow and deliberate, "Thrawn is in a very difficult position."
Leia pounced on this answer. "So that justifies torture?" Vanto's lips twitched with amusement, and Leia was incensed further still. "You're just as bad as him! How despicable must you be to justify torturing a boy?"
The smug amusement faded from Vanto's face which turned quite gray. He looked away, her trenchant words like a slap across his cheek. "The grand admiral and I are not always in agreement."
"That's not good enough," Leia snapped.
"Urgent times require urgent measures," Vanto continued. "I'm sure this is not news to you. The Rebel Alliance can be as brutal as the Empire when their backs are against the wall, as they so often are."
"Oh, so you support the Empire now?"
"Hardly," Vanto said. "I served the Empire for nearly a decade. I know it is a rotten institution from the top down."
Leia blinked a few times. So Vanto had been an Imperial? It made sense. He was a human, after all. Thrawn must have recruited him while they were both in the Imperial Navy.
"Is that why you're with the Chiss? To defeat the Empire?"
Vanto cocked his head to the side as if he hadn't considered this question before. After a moment of contemplation, he spoke. "I left the Empire because I knew it was the right thing to do. But overthrowing it? That is something else entirely."
"Is it?"
"I come from Wild Space. The Empire hardly even exists out there, but its presence is felt. It instills order, and with it, peace. I'm not so sure eliminating that presence would be in the galaxy's best interest."
Leia had a counterargument ready, but she stopped when Luke touched her forearm. "Could we not do this right now?" he asked.
"But Luke –"
"Please?"
Leia hesitated. She realized a fundamental difference between herself and Luke. She had picked this fight with Vanto. She wanted to yell at him, berate him. It distracted her. But Luke wasn't like that. He was a gentler soul.
"Alright," Leia folded. She shot Vanto a dirty look, warning him this wasn't over. Vanto seemed unconcerned.
In the silence, her thoughts inevitably drifted back to Vader. She must be more like him that she realized. He was certainly one who relished a fight. The parallel was a cause for concern. She didn't want to be anything like him. Maybe she should follow Luke's example more often.
But it raised a question which Leia stubbornly tried not to think about. She became belligerent when she was agitated. Ever since she was little girl she had been that way. Her mother called her truculent. Her father insisted she was merely stubborn. Could Vader be the same? Was this horrible man who filled the room with his fearsome presence actually just a mirage designed to obfuscate the real man, a man conflicted and troubled?
Leia shook her head. Had she really just thought that? What was wrong with her? There were no parallels between Vader and herself. Just because they were related didn't mean they were anything alike. But the thought – naïve hope, more like – continued to nag her. Something Thrawn had said came to mind.
Let's just say that the heart outweighed the mind
He didn't have a heart. Leia knew that he didn't. His chest was an empty chasm, devoid of feeling or sympathy, certainly incapable of love. And yet…
She was being foolish. A small part of her wanted Vader to be someone he was not. She wanted him to be her father.
But she already had a father! And Vader wasn't him! End of story.
The hatch door opened, pulling Leia out of her murky thoughts. In walked Thrawn. His posture was stiff as always, but Leia detected an added tension beneath his impassive face. Perhaps because of what he and Vader had been discussing?
"Commander Vanto," he greeted.
Vanto did not salute, but instead merely nodded. "No trouble with the hyperlanes?" he asked.
"None," Thrawn said. "The gravity wells were expertly cleared by the Steadfast."
"Gravity wells?" Leia echoed. "What do you mean? Why would there be gravity wells way out here?"
Thrawn gave her a look. "We believe they were constructed by an alien species called the Grysk."
"But why?"
"To prevent us from finding them, of course."
Leia didn't know what was going on. Nobody had told her where they were going or why they were going there. This business about the Grysk made her all the more nervous.
"You have nothing to be concerned about, Princess," Thrawn assured, as if reading her thoughts. "The general will be more than capable to deal with whatever threat arises."
"The general?"
A dry smile touched Thrawn's lips. "Forgive me," he said. "I meant to say Lord Vader."
Leia gulped. The general. As in General Anakin Skywalker. Luke's father. Her father. The man he had once been. The man Thrawn had once known. The man Kenobi had once considered a friend.
He seemed more like myth than man.
"We will arrive on Mokivj shortly," Thrawn informed them. He strode forth and took a seat by Vanto's left-hand side. "And then we will see."
"See what?" Luke asked.
Thrawn looked to the hatch door. "We will see what he does."
Δ Δ Δ
Obi-Wan sat in the cockpit of the Millennium Falcon. There was nothing to see out the viewport, just the blank walls of the hangar bay, but he stared out at them intently. The Steadfast was clicking through hyperspace in pursuit of the freighter Thrawn and Vader had taken to Mokivj. For once, things were quiet, and Obi-Wan finally had a chance to think.
How had he gotten to this point? The events of the past month or so had been as bizarre as they were hectic. He thought about him and Maul dueling back on Tatooine. That felt like the memory from a distant life time.
And even more distant were the memories of a young man on Naboo, his heart pounding, his muscles taut. He had watched through the ray shields as his master dueled with Maul. He had screamed when the Sith stuck Qui-Gon in the chin and pierced him through the sternum with a backward thrust of his lightsaber.
Obi-Wan had never admitted it to anyone, but in that moment he had tasted the dark side. He had experienced anguish there for the first time, and he had succumbed to it. His anger had fueled him, enabling to overcome a vastly superior foe in Maul. He had been revered at the time. Master Kenobi, the Sithslayer. But he had learned to fear himself for that. He realized what he was capable of, and he promised never to succumb to that darkness again.
So when Satine died, he was ready. He was stoic. Unfeeling. When Anakin fell to the dark side and he left him to burn to death on Mustafar, Obi-Wan had called upon that same calm. He encased his soul – that weak and vulnerable soul of his – in a cage of impenetrable steel. When Padmé died on Polis Massa, he was once again unaffected. Nothing could make a dent in his shields. He had made himself immune to pain, or at least numb to it.
For sixteen years he labored under that armor, sweltering in the Tatooine heat, weighed down by the trauma of his past. Yet now it was gone. He was naked and exposed once more, just like that young man had been on Naboo. And how fitting for it to be Maul who was responsible. He had sacrificed himself, and somehow that act had been enough to unlock Obi-Wan from his cage. He had felt hope – naïve and brutal as it might be – for the first time in who knows how long after they had escaped the Chimaera. His actions were no longer guided by the logic of the Jedi Code, but by emotion, capricious and foolhardy as it was. Yoda had been baffled, Obi-Wan even more so. He had forgotten that he could even act in this way. He had forgotten that he had agency, having figured he lost it long ago when the galaxy collapsed around him after the Clone Wars ended.
Was he making a horrible mistake? His actions of the past few days had completely undermined everything he, Yoda, and Organa had planned upon all those years ago at Polis Massa. The twins were reunited, their parentage revealed, and their powers unleashed. It was never supposed to happen this way. He thought of Jarrus. Obi-Wan had admonished the man for allowing his attachments to guide his actions, yet was he not guilty of that same offense? No longer a servant to his mind, Obi-Wan found himself a slave to his heart.
"Master. I need your guidance."
Qui-Gon did not reply but for that echo that was always lingering in the back of Obi-Wan's mind.
Promise me you will train the boy.
He had promised. And he had failed. But now…
Train them both. They will avenge us.
He had made a promise then as well, this time to the man who had murdered his master. The man who had sacrificed himself so that Obi-Wan might live. The man who had been his most fervent enemy, and in some way, his closest friend. Just like another…
You were my brother, Anakin!
Maul had found the light in the end. Might Vader yet? He never would have believed it possible, but nothing made sense to him anymore. Maybe…
He is the Chosen One.
"I won't fail you."
And this time, he really meant it. Maul and Qui-Gon had placed their trust in him. He would not let either of them down. The pupils they had entrusted to him:
The boy.
The girl.
And the man himself. His worst enemy. His best friend. His brother.
I loved you!
He was beholden to them all.
The Chosen Ones.
Δ Δ Δ
The small party made their way through a shallow ravine in silence. Luke walked beside Leia a few steps behind Vader and Thrawn. Commander Vanto took up the rear, his blaster at the ready in case a threat arose. Luke couldn't help but think this was unlikely. Mokivj was a desolate wasteland. He doubted anyone inhabited it.
The sky was an unpleasant grey green, the dense clouds above churning and angry. Luke breathed from his mouth to avoid the sulfuric fumes and his eyes stung from whatever pollutant was hanging heavy in the air. Lining the ravine on either side were petrified tree trunks, their jagged limbs bear and their black wood glossy. The ground was smooth, as if eroded away by water, but no liquid could be found save for a few murky puddles which Luke was careful to step around.
"How much longer?" Leia asked, speaking to Vanto.
The commander shook his head and they carried on without another word.
Luke trained a surreptitious eye on Leia as they walked. She kept her head ducked, jaw set and fists clenched. He hoped she wouldn't try something stupid out of spite. But then again, that seemed exactly like the type of thing she would do.
How long had they known each other? A week? Maybe two? And yet he felt as if he'd known her all his life. In that sense, the revelation that she was his twin sister hardly even seemed like a revelation. It was instead more like an affirmation of something he already knew, but hadn't been able to properly define.
Despite that, the idea of having a sister still felt foreign to him. He didn't quite know how to act around her now. Nothing had changed, and yet everything was different. Vader's looming shadow had that paradoxical effect on things, he supposed. Speaking of shadows, the two long ones ahead of them came to an abrupt stop.
"What is it?" Thrawn asked.
Luke looked up to see Vader alert, his head on a swivel. He held a hand out to him and Leia. Luke didn't know how to interpret the gesture. Was he giving them a command to stop? Or was he subconsciously protecting them, somehow? Luke vastly preferred the latter.
"I feel something," he said.
Thrawn nodded. "It's them. We must be close."
"No," Vader said. "It's not that. I've been sensing them since we arrived in the system."
"Then what?"
Luke and Leia traded confused looks. What were Thrawn and Vader talking about? Who was the 'them' in question?
"I can't be sure," Vader said absently. He turned around and stared at Leia, his eyes out of focus. "Maybe…"
"What?" she snapped.
Vader seemed to be shaken back to his senses. "Stay here with Vanto," he ordered Thrawn. "You two with me."
"But Lord Vader –"
"Do not defy me," Vader growled and Thrawn bit back his objection.
"Very well," the grand admiral managed.
Vader beckoned them with an agitated flick of his wrist. "With me. Now."
Luke could tell Leia was going to argue, so he stopped her before she could. "Don't," he pleaded.
Leia's agitated expression turned resigned. "Fine," she said. "But this better be quick," she added, giving Vader a contemptuous look.
He didn't respond. As if on instinct, he flourished the cape that wasn't there and marched away. Luke and Leia only hesitated a beat before following.
They left Thrawn and Vanto behind them. For another five minutes they walked in silence. With each passing step, Luke could sense Leia's disgruntlement rise. As for him, Luke found himself growing nervous. Why had Vader insisted they accompany him? Had he lied about sensing something? Maybe he just wanted to get them alone for some reason.
"Here," Vader said, coming to an abrupt stop.
Leia wrinkled her nose. "What, this?"
Luke could see why she was unimpressed. The ravine shallowed out into what might have once been a small bay. A dilapidated jetty protruded out from the craggy shore, its wooden struts covered by a thick moss. Looming above was a derelict of sorts. Luke couldn't identify what it might have been. It was certainly large. A building perhaps? Yet why was it here in the river bed? Surely this would have been full of water at some point.
"Yes," Vader said, his voice distant. "This is it."
"What is it?" Luke asked impulsively.
Unsurprisingly, Vader did not reply. He set his jaw and strode toward the derelict. Luke and Leia watched him go for a moment, neither sure how to interpret this strange turn of events.
"He's lost it," Leia said.
Luke didn't think so. There was something very deliberate about Vader's actions. There was something here, and he was determined to find it. As was Luke.
"Come on," he said. "Let's see what this is about."
Leia followed him reluctantly. For all her gravitas, he could tell she was anxious. She was afraid of Vader still. While he couldn't blame her, Luke didn't necessarily share her apprehension. Vader was fearsome, yes, but nevertheless Luke felt secure in his company. He trusted him to protect them.
Maybe he was crazy to think so.
The door to the derelict was gone, its hinges rusted and bent. Luke stepped through the open frame. Once inside, he squinted in the dim light and made out Vader's silhouette.
"What is this place?" he asked.
Vader looked around the cavernous space, his mouth a tight frown. "I can feel it still."
"Feel what?"
Vader flashed him a look. "Can you not sense it?"
Luke hesitated. He felt Leia standing a half-step behind him, using him as a shield of sorts. Luke craned his head back to look at her. "Do you?" he asked her.
"Do I what?"
"Sense… anything?"
Leia shook her head. "This place is creepy," she said.
That it was. The wooden planks underneath their feet were rotting away; In some places, ferns and cattails sprouted up from the cracks, and in others, pools of stagnant water played host to vibrant algae and buzzing mosquitoes. The ceiling was similarly swamp-like. Frayed netting made of tough twine had been overtaken by a thick green foliage which covered the walls and wrapped itself around the support beams.
"Uh… Vader?" Luke gulped. What else was he supposed to call him? Father? "Can we go?"
Vader's eyes were closed. He acted as if he hadn't heard the question. "She was here," he said to himself.
"She?" Luke echoed.
"I can feel her."
With that cryptic comment, Vader turned on his heel and marched away with purpose, the floorboards creaking loudly underfoot. Luke glanced at Leia who had a quizzical look on her face.
"Why do you think he brought us here?" he asked her.
"To this place, you mean?" She looked around at their surroundings, her lip curled with disgust. "What a dump."
"Well yeah, but also to Mokivj in general."
"Oh." Leia crossed her arms and looked away to where Vader had gone. "I don't know. To keep us away from Kenobi, I bet."
"But clearly he wants something from us."
"Yeah. Loyalty."
"You think?"
"What else?"
"I don't know." Luke followed Leia's gaze. "Everything about this is weird."
"You can say that again," Leia muttered.
"Here!" they heard Vader shout. He sounded excited. "Come here!"
Luke licked his lips nervously. "I guess we should go."
Leia sighed. "I guess."
They followed his voice up a rickety ladder onto an upper level. Things were a bit nicer here. An open window allowed some fresh air into the room, along with a hint of muted sunlight. Vader was standing beside what looked like a bunk. His metal hand brushed against the woolen blanket in a tender manner.
"What is it?" Luke asked.
"Here," Vader said. "Both of you."
Luke took a tentative step forward . Leia was slow to follow, no doubt wanting to stay as far away from Vader as possible.
"Sit," Vader instructed. He took a step away and gestured to the bunk.
Luke gave it a wary look. It looked alright, but he wasn't sure he wanted to sit on it. "Um… do we have to?" Vader's face turned stormy and Luke swallowed his pride. "Never mind," he squeaked, taking a seat on the bunk. Leia sat down beside him and hugged her knees to her chest. They both craned their necks to look up at Vader's face. His stern expression softened a fraction when he noticed their discomfort at this arrangement. Taking a step away, Vader did the unexpected and sat down against the back wall. Now it was him looking up at them.
"We need to talk," he said. Neither Luke nor Leia said anything. "Do you, um… have questions?"
Luke blinked with surprise. Vader suddenly seemed very uncomfortable. For the first time, Luke considered how strange this situation must be for him as well. He had just discovered that he had two long-lost children, after all.
"What would we have questions about?" Leia asked.
Vader's eyes darted to the ground. "I don't know," he said lamely.
Luke felt a pang of sympathy for him. At least he was trying to talk with them. He was clearly out of his element here.
"How come you didn't know about us?" Luke asked.
The question seemed to help Vader regain his confidence. His lip twisted into a sneer as he met Luke's gaze. "Kenobi took you from me."
"So you did know about us?"
"I thought…" He trailed off and looked away toward the open window. "I thought you were dead."
"Why?"
No response came. Vader continued to stare determinedly out the window.
"Who was she?"
Vader's head snapped back at Leia's question. He felt her stiffen with fear at the steely look he was giving her.
"She?" Vader echoed. He sounded tense, defensive almost.
"You know." Leia glanced at Luke and pulled in her knees even tighter. "Our mother?" Vader was silent. "We do have one, right?"
"Yes." Vader said it almost like a concession, as if the fact was something he didn't want to admit.
"So who was she? Is she still…" Leia trailed off when Vader winced. There was a fragile silence as the siblings watched their father, his face strained and pale. "She's gone, isn't she?"
"Gone," Vader confirmed.
Luke felt a knot form in the pit of his stomach at this hollow word.
Gone.
"What happened?" Leia asked.
Vader abruptly got to his feet, startling Luke and Leia who drew back in fright. He ignored their reactions and began pacing agitatedly.
"Thrawn wants me to convince the Chiss to make war against the Empire."
Luke was baffled by this change in subject. He looked at Leia, but she seemed more irritated than confused.
"He requested that I confer with you before making a decision." Vader spun on his heel to face them again. Seeing their blank faces, Vader seemed to grow frustrated. "Well?"
Luke cleared his throat. "Well, um… that sounds… good."
"Good?"
He turned to Leia for help. "You'd actually consider turning against the Empire?" she asked.
"No," Vader said at once. He bit down on his tongue. "I mean… I would like to hear from you first."
"It sounds like you've already made up your mind," Leia said skeptically.
Vader grit his teeth. "Tell me what you want."
"Why?" Leia challenged.
"What do you mean why?"
"Why do you care what we have to say?"
Vader took a threatening step forward. "Because I say so. Now tell me."
"No," Leia said, refusing to back down. "Why do you give a damn what we think?"
Vader hesitated. "Because…"
"What do you want from us?"
"Nothing," Vader said at once. "You are my children. I do not require anything else from you."
Leia was taken aback by this. She blinked rapidly, her mouth falling open as she stared at him.
"You mean that?" Luke asked.
"Of course I mean that," Vader snapped. "Now tell me your opinions." He took a measured breath. "Please."
Luke didn't know what was going on. Neither did Vader, by the looks of things. He fidgeted with the hem of his ill-fitting robes, his foot bouncing against the creaking floorboards. It was oddly endearing.
"Well, um… I think if the Chiss are willing to help…"
"Yes?" Vader prompted.
Luke wrung his wrists. He didn't know what he was talking about. Leia knew about these things far better than he did. But she wasn't talking, so Luke had to take the initiative.
"I think it would be great if you turned against the Empire." Luke cringed at himself. He thought it would be great? Really?
Vader kept an even expression. "Is that so?" Luke nodded nervously. "Why do you feel that way?"
"What do you mean?"
"Why do you care about the Empire?"
"Well… it's bad."
"Bad?"
Luke felt lost for words. Fortunately, Leia jumped to his defense.
"The Empire isn't bad, it's evil," she said, her chin raised in defiance.
An amused look passed Vader's face. "You think that, do you?"
"No, I know so."
Vader had the audacity to chuckle. Leia's face twitched at the derision.
"You have been lied to, my children." His eyes turned cold as he scanned their faces. "Kenobi and the Jedi skew the truth. As do your… patrons, the Organa's."
"Patrons?" Leia echoed.
"They are willfully ignorant of the anarchy that existed before the Empire rose to power."
"You mean democracy?" Leia said.
"Synonyms," Vader dismissed.
Leia bristled at this claim. "Democracy means justice! It means representation! It means –"
"Arguing and bickering. Bribery and blackmail. Inefficiency and corruption. That was the Republic. It was a failure. The Empire brought peace and reform."
"Reform? Are you serious?" Leia shook her head vehemently. "You really have no idea how horrible the Empire is, do you?"
Vader pointed a finger at her. "You know nothing of the horror which you speak. You do not know war like I do. You do not know suffering. Anguish. Destruction. You are a child. Naïve and foolish."
Leia stood up from the bunk. "Then why bother asking my opinion?"
Vader gnashed his teeth and looked away.
"You want to agree with me. With us," she belatedly added, gesturing to Luke who was beginning to feel left out. He stood up as well, fearing the fiery look in Vader's eyes. "That's why you asked. But you're too warped to know it."
"Warped?"
"You're twisted and mangled! Just look at you!" She flourished a hand at Vader's limbs. "You're half machine!"
"Leia, don't," Luke warned, placing a hand on her shoulder. She shrugged him off.
"We know you're suffering. Anyone can see it. You're miserable!"
"I am not –"
"Why did you bring us here? To this piece of junk?" She gestured to the room with a wave of her arms. "It's because she was here, wasn't she? Our mother was here. On this very bed! How long ago was that? Twenty years? And yet you cling to the past because it's all you have left. That and us." There was a pause, Leia's impassioned words reverberating against the walls and rippling through a stunned Vader. "Start being honest with yourself, or else you're going to lose us just like you lost her."
Luke looked back and forth between Leia and Vader with his mouth agape. The silence stretched on as Vader seemed unable to speak, his face an ashen grey. And after nearly a full minute…
"You…"
For a moment, Luke thought that was all he was going to say. He looked just like he had back on the Falcon when Ben had revealed Leia to be his daughter: utterly stunned and speechless. But then –
"You're so much like her."
For a fraction of a second, Luke saw Leia's determined expression waver, a flicker of something indescribable in her eyes. Melancholy, perhaps.
"I'll be back," Vader said. He sounded deflated, disappointed in himself or in them, Luke couldn't tell. "Don't go anywhere."
"But –" Luke tried to say.
"I'll make sure Vanto finds you." Vader turned away, his head bowed, and crossed the room toward the ladder. Without so much as a glance for them, he descended out of sight, leaving his daughter and son behind.
Author's Note: Confused by the setting of that last scene? I'd be surprised if you weren't. Unless you've read Alliances, you'll have no idea where they are, and even if you have, it might not be immediately clear. That was LebJau's boat where Padmé was incarcerated for several days, waiting for Anakin to come and rescue her. That's why Vader sought it out. Her Force presence was still strong despite it being so long ago. It's not super important that you know that, but I thought it was a fun callback for those of you who have read Alliances.
I took the time to look over this chapter and I'm really happy with how polished it feels. I know this is fanfic, but nevertheless I want to give you the best product I can. If that means less frequent updates, so be it. I'm really glad so many people seem to be enjoying this story (100 followers, ah!), so again, I want to make sure what I publish is of suitable quality by my standards. Anyway, thanks for reading and reviewing! I'm not yet sure how next chapter will shape up, but I figure we'll get some sweet angst from Vader's POV. Until then!