Over the next few weeks, Dean and Castiel spent more and more time together. They would break off from Charlie and Gabe to have lunch by themselves, laughing together and working on schoolwork together. They also took turns hanging out at each other's houses, and Dean had never felt so warm and content with his life.

He'd almost forgotten the heavy weight of his blatant crush on his best friend pulling down on his shoulders. Until the winter holiday, when Castiel had come over for dinner with his family.

Castiel and Dean sat shoulder to shoulder on Dean's bed. His mother was downstairs preparing a small Christmas eve dinner. They were busy taking turns with an online racing games, competing to see who could get the best score. Castiel grinned as he purposely made a glitch in the game into a shortcut, cutting his first time by at least 30 seconds.

"Hey!" Dean laughed. "No fair, that's cheating!"

Castiel shook his head. "You didn't say I couldn't use glitches to my advantage!"

Dean moved to wrestle the laptop out of Castiel's hands, and instead ended up straddling the other underneath him. Castiel let the computer slip out of his hands and rest on the other side of the bed as the two stared at each other, cheeks ablaze in furious blushes.

Dean scrambled off of him and moved to sit in the other corner of the bed, coughing out a quick apology. Castiel slowly pushed himself up into a sitting position. "No worries," Castiel said dumbly, before the room fell into a semi-awkward silence. Castiel's eyes were focused on the computer next to him, tilted haphazardly near the edge of the bed. Dean's face was still flushed, as he watched Castiel across the bed from him.

I can't believe I just straddled my best friend… God, what if I just made everything weird? I just straddled my best friend who is straight and all I can think about is how soft his lips looked and how infectious his laugh is, and how much I want to—

"Dean? Are you okay?"

Dean shook his head furiously, scattering any coherent thoughts that were left. He wasn't sure how long he'd been out of it, but Castiel was looking at him, concerned.

"Y-yeah." Dean inwardly cursed his stutter.

Castiel didn't look convinced. "Dean…" Castiel reached out and rested a hand on Dean's shoulder. "You know you can talk to me about anything. You don't have to hide anything from me."

That's great and all, but what am I supposed to do if confessing my undying affection for you leads to the complete and total destruction of our friendship, which we just rekindled? I've already had to deal with losing you once, I really don't think I can go through this again…

"Dean!"

Again, Dean shook his head to clear the thoughts there. Castiel had both hands on either of Dean's shoulders; he must have been trying to shake him out of his stupor.

"You're starting to scare me, here, Winchester. What's going on?"

It's now or never, I guess.

Without answering, Dean closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He moved so Castiel was positioned directly in front of him, grabbing his hands from his shoulders so he could hold them. They were soft and warm, and so perfectly Castiel. He leaned in ever so slightly, and finally opened his eyes. Castiel's eyes were still concerned, but they'd softened a little, his grip tightening around Dean's hands.

"Please, Dean. If there's something wrong, please tell me. I want to be able to help you."

"There is something… something that I've been meaning to tell you for a long time. Like, a long time," Dean started, his voice unsure as he looked away from Castiel's questioning gaze.

How the hell am I supposed to tell him I love him when he's literally staring directly into my soul?! Dean mentally screamed at himself before taking another breath. When he'd finally gathered enough courage, he looked up into those gorgeous blue eyes, watching him patiently. Waiting to hear anything and everything Dean had to say, as though any words that came out of his mouth were a treasure to behold.

"Your eyes are so… pretty," he whispered, almost as though Castiel weren't meant to hear it. Castiel's cheeks burned with a blush… was he embarrassed? He wasn't sure if the butterfly feeling in his stomach was supposed to be there when he was feeling embarrassed. But before Castiel could say, or think, anything else, Dean captured his lips in a kiss. It wasn't much, but it had Castiel's heart threatening to beat out of his chest. He'd never… he'd never felt something like that before.

Was that… was that what it was supposed to feel like? When you liked kissing someone? He'd never felt his heart hammer in his chest like that when Hannah kissed him. But… it was borderline uncomfortable the way his heart was racing. He was sure he was about to pass out. That couldn't be right…

…Could it?

When Dean pulled away, his face immediately fell. He moved away so he wasn't so close to Castiel and started stumbling through words when Castiel had no discernible reaction.

"I'm so sorry Cas, I know you're straight, but I just… ever since I came back it's been so amazing getting to hang out with you again, and I feel like I can just… exist around you, you know? You make me feel warm, and safe, and… and happy. So, so happy… I just… I couldn't keep holding it in like the feeligns weren't there. I'm so sorry…"

Castiel simply placed a hand on Dean's knee, and the words stopped spilling from his lips.

"It's… it's okay," Castiel assured him. "I… I appreciate your honesty, Dean. And I'm flattered by it, but, it is like you said… I am straight."

Yeah… Castiel thought. That's why I had butterflies and stuff. It's because I'm straight, and kissing boys just isn't… my thing.

Dean nodded his head, looking down where he was nervously fidgeting his fingers. "Yeah, of course… uh…"

Dean looked up and did his best to muster a smile that wasn't clouded in disappointment. "Thanks for being honest, and… thanks for… for listening to me, and for being so understanding. I… I don't want this to ruin the relationship we already have, but I just needed you to know…"

Castiel gave Dean a gentle smile. "You're one of my greatest friends, Dean. Nothing will ever change that."

The two silently resume their game, but Castiel could tell Dean wasn't feeling well after their conversation. Even as they laugh through dinner with his mom and his brother, he can see the heartbreak in his eyes whenever they meet his own. It breaks Castiel's heart. Dean was heartbroken and he felt as though there was nothing he could do to fix it, considering his failure to reciprocate those feelings was the source of his pain.

Later that night, once Castiel is back home in his bed, he can't help but toss and turn. He can't stop thinking about the way that Dean's lips felt on his own. How hard his heart beat in his chest. How even though he's straight he… he didn't want Dean to stop kissing him. How he wouldn't have minded if Dean had kissed him again.

Castiel groaned and rubbed his eyes, willing his brain to stop just long enough for him to fall asleep. With no luck, he reaches blindly for his phone on the nightstand and sends a text message.

Castiel:
I need to talk to you. About Dean. 1:27AM

Castiel doesn't even have enough time to have another thought before his phone buzzes with a response

Charlie:
I knew this day would come! When are you free tomorrow? :))) 1:28AM

Castiel:
I can come over around 1 or so, if that works for you? 1:30AM

Charlie:
I'll see you then! 1:31AM

Charlie rubbed her temples, groaning in annoyance. They'd been sitting here for an hour while Castiel word vomited how he couldn't be gay just because he liked Dean kissing him. Not even bisexual… he insisted.

"So, Castiel, just one more time… please tell me how liking it when Dean kissed you doesn't make you not straight?"

Castiel huffed, falling back onto Charlie's bed. "I don't know, Charlie! I just… I'm straight! Aren't I? That's like… the default? How would I even know that I'm not?"

Charlie shook her head. "There's no default settings on people, Cassie. You like who you like! And it sounds to me like you really like Dean."

"What if I'm just… confused?" Castiel mumbled. "Or what if it's a phase? Some people go through phases but they aren't actually gay, right?"

Charlie groaned in exasperation. They were getting nowhere. Suddenly, she had an idea.

"Alright, then. Interrogation time," she started, turning towards Castiel with a very intimidating shit-eating grin on her face.

"Lord have mercy on me…" Castiel muttered, falling back on Charlie's bed.

"Cassie, when Hannah kissed you, did you ever want things to go… further than that?"

Castiel immediately shot up again, blush spreading across his cheeks. "What?!"

Charlie scooted closer, moving so her face was just inches away from Castiel's, her eyes boring holes into his very being. "Just answer the question. Did you?"

Castiel pushed Charlie away, crossing his arms furiously. "What the hell kind of question is that?"

"Did she ever make you feel anything? Besides miserable?"

Castiel's arms loosened ever so slightly as he thought. He and Hannah had kissed several times. They'd never really gone much further than that, thankfully. Castiel never ever wanted to get touched by her in any way, but especially not that way.

"No…" he muttered, almost to himself.

"Think about it, Cassie. Have you ever even thought about going anywhere with a girl? Ever?"

Castiel supposed he's never really put much actual thought into these sorts of things. He was always more focused on his grades because, well, he had a really amazing older brother with impossible footsteps to fill. Hannah was his first real relationship, and that had turned out to be a nightmare. Sure, he'd thought she was super pretty for forever, and he thought he wanted to date her. But he'd never imagined going any further than holding hands or kissing. And now, of course, he felt nauseous at the idea of even being in the same room as her.

Now that he was thinking about it, he had never really felt attracted to any girls. He was a guy with access to the internet, so he'd seen plenty of different kinds of girls. He always thought they were pretty, and that's all he thought really mattered. When the time comes and Castiel feels more ready for that sort of thing, he was sure that his body would do what it was supposed to do whenever a pretty girl showed interest in him.

But last night everything was so… different. The way Dean was blushing after he'd ended up on top of Castiel, the way his lips were so soft and felt so perfect against his own. It was safe to say that Dean was even prettier than any girl Castiel had ever met.

And after Castiel was finally able to fall asleep last night, his mind kept playing the scenes of that day over and over again. And all Castiel wanted to do was go to Dean and tell him that he was sorry, that he'd give anything to have him close, to hold him, to stare into those perfect green eyes and tell him how much he loved-

Castiel sucked in a quick breath as he looked up to meet Charlie's expectant gaze.

"Well?"

"Holy shit…" Castiel breathed, standing up and walking across the room. He looked into the mirror on Charlie's dresser and looked himself in the eyes.

"Holy fucking shit, Charlie…" he breathed again, pulling his hair almost hard enough to pull it off his own head.

He turned and looked at her. Charlie was wearing her signature 'I-told-you-so' smirk.

"I'm gay. I'm fucking gay and I'm in love with Dean fucking Winchester."

Charlie shouted with glee as she leapt up from her bed, pulling Castiel into a tight hug. "I'm so proud of you, Cassie!"

Castiel hugged back, and he couldn't help his smile. "Shut up. I think its your fault, all your gay rubbed off on me."

Charlie only squeezed tighter, muttering a self-satisfied "good."