Wanted Meeting, Chapter Thirty

You know, saying something and actually doing it were two completely different things. Especially when the action in question was directly affecting your feelings. Trying to stop loving someone was like trying to get rid of your heart with your bare hands, in a non metaphoric way. Possible, but damn it hurts! However, staying with a wounded heart is not a preferable option either. So what is the right choice? Getting rid of the pain by replacing it with something even stronger, but that hurt for a shorter time? Or keeping it while knowing it will hurt for a long time? That's what I was trying to decide, and I still didn't have an answer. Tearing my feelings out of me was as natural as a koala in Antarctica.

I loved him, this was fact, for a while now. And inside of me, I knew it was impossible to stop loving him. But I still tried anyway. Because of pride? Of fear? Probably. That was why I tried to think of something else instead as often as I could. I went out with my friends, or I simply got out to enjoy the fresh air and escape via photography. I also asked for more hours at my job and even went to the school's dojo to train, when Luffy wanted to accompany me since he was able to get the key from his grandfather. I spent most of my time outside the house. And when Law tried to speak to me, almost always, I froze like a metal pole, tears building in my eyes and often ended up fleeing. Pathetic, I know, but I was so scared he would just tell me something along the lines of Sorry, I don't love you, and that he would kick me out.

…Alright, maybe he wouldn't do something like that, otherwise my sister would kill him for sure. And you didn't want to make a pregnant woman mad… Believe one of her victims…

Speaking of victims, I was currently one at this exact moment. By two balls of energy who were named William and Lizzy. They tried to make me fall by clinging to my legs and pushing as much as their little arms could. It didn't seem to work. But to entertain them, I let myself fall on the soft snow while supporting them so I could serve as a pillow for them. They loudly laughed while getting up and ran towards the "fort" we had built a few minutes ago. A big pile of snow with a hole as a door.

I slowly got up to join them and walked their way. Only, a shiver ran through me and I froze, but it wasn't due to the wind. It was like someone was watching my every movements and it froze me to the core. Still suspicious, I still put that on the stress I had for the past days and hurried to join my sister's children.

xXxXxXxXxXx

"You really saved my life! Thank you so much for agreeing to babysit them!"

I shrugged while smiling at my sister.

"I didn't work today, and anyway, it's not like it's bothering me. It's always my pleasure to babysit those two little monsters!"

Leïla softly laughed. I wrapped my neck with my scarf, put on my gloves, slipped on my boots and my tuque, and finished with my winter coat. I was ready to get back outside, but not to go straight home. Maybe I could visit one of my friends before returning home?

"Well, it's not that I want to kick you out, but.." Said my sister with a sad smile.

It was New Year's Eve. She wanted to spend it with her little family, which I completely understood. She probably thought I wanted to spend my own evening with Law, so she didn't invite me. Only, she didn't know that.. Well.. I can't stay I still spoke to the man. I didn't mention it to her. And it was better this way.

"Don't worry about me. I'll go home anyway. See you later, big sis."

I gave her a quick hug and yelled goodbye to Marco, which he answered by screaming himself. I smiled one last time at the mother before turning the door handle and getting outside. The icy wind slapped my face and at the same time, snow blurred my vision. I rubbed my eyes as I shivered before climbing down her balcony and walking towards the sidewalk.

I took out my phone from my pocket to find someone who will let me spend time with them, even if my chances of finding said person was close to zero, since everyone most certainly already had plans for the day. The screen lighted up, my device vibrating to signal I had a phone call coming in. Due to surprise, I almost let it fall, but fortunately, I was able to catch it before it shattered on the ground. I sighed, then looked at the phone number. Unknown. Well… I answered none the less.

"Hello?"

Silence was my only answer on the other side of the line. I heard wind blowing, then a breath that must have come from the person calling, and finally a voice talked.

"Don't come near him again or you'll have to deal with me."

The line was cut off. I stayed puzzled, but mostly surprised, in front of that call. The voice sounded masculine, even if it was hard to tell since it seemed muffled. And from what they told me, I deducted it was my famous picture thief. I didn't want to let things stay the way they were, and maybe because the anger accumulating from the past few days (and sadness, but that's another story), I decided to trace back the number, and so dialed *69 to call them back. As I was putting my phone to my ear, I heard the ringing of another one echoing near me. Coincidence, I suppose. But on the other side of the line, no one answered, and the ringing continued. And so I stopped the call. Silence returned. Trembling, I called back. The ringing was heard again. I turned my head in every direction to find the source of the sound. It came from someone hiding behind a tree, and as soon as they saw I spotted them, they ran like the wind. Oh no you don't!

I immediately ran after them as fast as I could, my legs energised by adrenaline, apprehension at finally meeting the culprit and, mostly, anger. After a while, they seemed to slow down, probably getting tired. I took advantage of it. I made one final sprint, gained momentum and jumped on their back. I violently made contact and made us loose foot. They fell down like a brick on the sidewalk. Astride on their back, I saw their tuque falling down, which let me see short curly ginger locks. A muffled voice, due to their scarf, growled in pain and struggled to get up. Still sat down on them, I didn't give them that chance. After a moment, they stopped resisting and turned their head towards me, hatred visible. Their brown eyes stared down (up) at me. I had under me a young man. The mysterious character.

xXxXxXxXxXx

The cacophony going around us came in one ear and left in the other, without me really hearing it. I was too preoccupied by what (who) was in front of me instead of the clients in this café. My attention was entirely directed at the person in front of me, and that same individual refused to cross my eyes and instead watched the snow fall down, a bored expression on his face.

Why were we here? Well, after… tackling him down, I couldn't just let him get away. I wanted to talk to him (interrogate him) after all. And so, I politely asked him to follow me. Well alright, it was more like forced him to. I chose this café because talking outside wasn't the most brilliant of ideas, especially because we would freeze our butts out. And I told myself that in a public place like this one, he wouldn't try to escape again. And that's why we were here. However, even after a good fifteen minutes, he still hadn't said a single word. His eyes glued to the window on my right, he shut himself in silence. I seriously started to lose my patience. My fingers were tapping impatiently on the table.

"Will you talk now?"

Excluding the subtle jerk of his eye, he didn't let on that he would answer. My tongue clicked.

"Why did you send me those threatening messages? Why were you following me in the street?"

Still no answer. My fists tightened up.

"Answer me!" I lost patience.

Finally, he dared looked at me. His eyes were glassy, like he was seeing through a filter. Full of hatred.

"I. Hate. You. Does it answer your question, pipsqueak?" He spit out.

A vein appeared on my forehead.

"For your information, I'm not that small, I'm actually average! And I don't see the connection between my question and your answer."

He had a scornful smirk, which pissed me off.

"Ah, I see you have the brain of a squirrel as well. Then, let me spit it out for you, empty monkey head."

I was about to tell him monkeys were actually pretty intelligent and that his insult didn't make sense, but he didn't give me the chance to.

"I hate you. Do you believe I want you to be happy, enjoying life as if nothing's wrong? I prefer to make you hate it, it's more fun this way," he said in a sarcastic tone.

I felt anger building up at his words, but was able to control myself. If I knocked him out and created panic in this public place, it wouldn't solve any of my problems. But it would be pretty satisfying.

"And why do you hate me?" I was able to get out, as calmly as I could muster it.

His jaw tightened up.

"It's because you're going out with that… that…"

He shut up and looked down, but before he did, I thought I saw a glimpse of regret in his eyes. It didn't give me much information. I sighed.

"Well, dear stalker, you'll sleep soundly tonight knowing I'm not going out with him."

He looked up, sincerely surprised.

"But you were in his classroom, and…"

I shook my head.

"It doesn't mean I'm his girlfriend."

It seemed this information brought back his good mood and he even faintly smiled. But it only lasted an instant because he frowned the second after while staring at me.

"So why did you kiss him?" Disgust crossed his face. "You're using your body to have better grades?" He exclaimed, his lip rolled up, to indicate his disdain.

His voice alerted the other customers in the café who immediately stared at me, some surprised, others suspicious. I gave him a kick under the table and hit his tibia to make him shut up, outraged.

"Don't scream like that!" I yelled/whispered. "It's not what you think."

Even if it could be an option, with my horrible grades in his class.. I added to myself. He soothed the pain away on his leg while glaring at me. I did the same.

"So what is it?" He asked, sulking.

I sighed. Should I tell my situation to a complete stranger? Who threatened me, no less. I figured, what the hell.

"My relationship with teacher Law is… complicated. Very complicated, indeed."

He raised an eyebrow, waiting for further explanations. I took a deep breath.

"In short, let's just say I know him since we were kids and I started to love him not too long ago. I told him, and…"

"And…?"

"That's it."

His puzzled expression stayed on.

"So, you're not going out with him, but you kiss him and he knows you love him?" He asked.

I nodded. He snorted. I became red with rage.

"It's even worse than what I suggested!"

He chuckled while my blood boiled. But slowly, my anger melted away and was replaced by melancholy and even acceptance.

"You think so too?"

He nodded while smiling. I looked down.

"That idiot knows my feelings, takes advantage of it, but doesn't even once says "I love you" back," I confessed, beaten down. "And each time I try to know how he feels, he always avoids answering, so… I decided to just give up."

He was surprised by my words.

"You'll stop loving him?" He said, his joy not even hidden.

I gave him a nasty look.

"No need to look so happy!" I blamed him. "But.. yeah, that's the general idea."

He sighed and I saw at his face he was relieved. I raised an eyebrow. What was it to him, if I was or wasn't in a romantic relationship with Law? He said he hated me, but it wasn't reason enough.

"What does it change, for you?"

He blushed, red as a tomato, and looked away.

"N-nothing!" He managed to stutter.

Hmm.. It looks suspicious to me. Ah well, even if I insisted, I'm sure he wouldn't give me an answer. And so I changed the subject.

"Say, what's your name?"

He hesitated for a few seconds, but finally gave it to me unwillingly.

"Derek."

xXxXxXxXxXx

After that, Derek and I talked during a good hour, of this and that, until he almost forgot his hatred for me. I learned he went to my school and surprised me one day with Law. Without thinking, he'd pulled out his phone and took a picture of us. At first, he didn't have any intention of using it, he even wanted to delete it, but he thought that it was too perfect of an opportunity to just simply get rid of it. He told me that with a big smirk on his lips, and I wanted to mildly hurt him. Also, he'd admitted he forced my locker's padlock open so he could search through my bag and find my phone number. And when I say forced, I really mean he find the combination by putting his ear to it and listening the metal clicks when he tried for numbers. His confession left me impressed, and horrified. A somewhat complicity grew between us, a mix of hatred and half friendship, and I was the first one surprised by it. Who would have known?

Derek was 18, which meant he repeated one grade. He told me this with clenched fists. He was an only child, from parents present only physically, always preoccupied by their work. He hated snow and would've liked to live in Florida. He loved computer science and music, even played a bit of guitar.

As I thought more and more about it, I find it strange that I know so much about him now. He narrated his life to me, and I did the same. He knew of my twisted relation with a certain biology teacher (he had classes with him too), and of our mutual home. Why did I tell him all that? I think it was because we were strangers. It was easier to tell your story to someone who didn't know you. You didn't care about what they thought of it, and that felt good. Well, it was the explanation I found.

As night was approaching and making everything dark outside, the wind picking up, snow in mid-fall, we decided to stop here for today. After exchanging (officially this time) our cellphone numbers, each one went their separate way. I went home, fled Law like the plague and ate something light before locking myself in my room. New Year's Eve, almost midnight, and I was in my bed, turning and turning again, sleep not coming. Awesome…

I sighted, got up and went to my computer to search through my photo album. I didn't have the heart these past few days to organise it, so why not do it now. It's not like I would be able to sleep anytime soon, my mind far too invaded by a maelstrom of thoughts. So why not do something productive instead.

I browsed through the albums. It improved my mood. Between angelic photos of Nami and Roxanne, completely stupid ones of Luffy, some somewhat normal of Zoro, Sanji and Usopp, it was good entertainment and, most importantly, it got my mind off certain subjects. Then, I stumbled upon a photo of Law. I skipped it for the next one. Still Law. Another. Once again, it was him. He didn't look at the lens, gave me a finger, rolled his eyes. The last one, he was pulling out his tongue. My fingertips touched the screen, where his face was. Tears stung my eyes. My other hand went to my heart, clenching my shirt, crumpling it. Just seeing him hurt.

Suddenly, I felt my desk vibrate, which made me jump. It was my phone. I took it and opened it. A new message.

Happy new year, the misunderstood lover! 0:)

It was from Derek. It was midnight already? And what the hell was that? I tilted my head to the side. An.. angel? I bursted out laughing and wrote a reply.

Happy new year, you sneaky criminal!

Only fifteen seconds later, my phone vibrated again.

=3=

I shook my head while giggling. My sadness had completely disappeared, thanks to his stupid message. I stared one last time at Law's tongue teasing me on the picture before closing the file and turning off my computer.

xXxXxXxXxXx

On Cerys' doorstep, Law hesitated, his hand almost reaching the doorknob. Should he go in to wish her a happy new year, or was it too late? In fact, this was all just an excuse to go talk to her. He never had the opportunity since she always fled the second he came into the room. He wanted to confess his feelings right on the spot, taking her in his arms, but a small part of him stopped him from doing so. Which one? His adult side. The reasonable and logic part of his mind. Wasn't it better this way? Her getting away from him before she would get her, which was inevitable. However, another part, much larger, his feelings in fact, yelled at him to tell her everything. But was it a good idea? He didn't have a clue, and that was why he stayed in front of her door, his hand in the air.

Just as he was about to knock and get inside, he heard Cerys' crystalline laugh. It had been a while since he heard her chuckle like that. He missed her joy. Her lips. Her body lovingly pressed perfectly against his own. Of all of her, to be sincere, her good and bad sides. He wanted to confess everything. Right now. His hand moved again, and he saw under the door the light turn off. She was probably going to bed now. He considered an instant going in anyway, but he decided it was a bad idea. He would talk to her tomorrow.