It was hotter than normal July 15th. Mike woke up drenched in sweat and tears, looking around seeing Emma who was thankfully still asleep. He loved her, but he didn't think he could take seeing that look of concern and understanding of what he was going through. Yes, her oldest died five days after his oldest and both of their spouses were gone. The difference was Sam was an asshole, he and Christine had had problems but they still loved one another. It was just that between the years of Mike being a cop and then signing up for the post 9/11 put a lot of strain on their marriage. He got up, checking on Michaela, seeing she was awake Mike picked her up. At just one month old Michaela was showing signs that were concerning and they were worried. Whenever they held her she was floppy and when she tried to sit up she kicked her legs, waved her arms and held her head up. Now at four months Michaela was diagnosed with Spina Bifida. Mike picked her up walking downstairs laying her down on her play mat doing some tummy time. He sat on the couch, looking over at the book of family photos of Christine, Sophia, and Lucas. It was the 5th anniversary of Lucas's death, in five days it would be his 13th birthday and the same for Sophia's death on the 20th. Mike was struggling with what to do to help Emma when Jaylan's death on the 25th. Then on the 30th it would be Mikey's birthday and Christine's death anniversary. He felt arms wrapped around his neck, looking up he smiled at Emma.

"I hate this time of year, too many birthdays and death anniversaries." Emma whispered, tears in her eyes.

"Come here and sit with me."

Emma came around picking up Michaela, sitting beside Mike laying her head on his shoulder as he wrapped an arm around her.

"I can't believe it, July 11th- July 30th we have Hannah's birthday on the 11th, Lucas's birthday and death on the 15th and 20th, Sophia's death on the 20th, and Jaylan's death on the 25th, and Christine's death and Mikey's birthday on July 30th."

"When's your birthday?" Mike asked.

"Feb 3, 1984. Your's?"

"Feb 27, 1979."

Hannah and Mikey came down about that time. Hannah sat beside Mike and cuddled close. Mikey not having that much of a memory of them, their deaths didn't affect him like they did to Mike and Hannah. He played with Michaela, on the play mat, while Emma went to fix breakfast. The rest of the day Hannah and Mike looked at pictures, remembering times before the Red Flu. There were lots of tears and stories that Mikey and Emma got to hear. Mike loved watching his son listening to stories about his older sister, older brother, and mom. That evening Mike, Emma, Hannah, Mikey, and Michaela went to the graveyard. Emma and Michaela stayed in the car, Emma smiled softly as she watched them stand there. Hannah must have been overcome with emotion because she went to her knees. Mike got down on one knee, pulled her into a hug, both had tears coming down their faces. Mikey hugged Mike from behind, Mike's arm went behind him pulling him into their hug. They stood like that for a few minutes, Hannah and Mikey were first to come back to the car, tears streaming down their faces. Emma watched Mike, he kissed his palm and touched the headstone. He arose slowly, kept his head up and got back in the truck. Mike's hands had the steering wheel in a death grip, looking down until he felt a soft hand on his. He looked up at Emma, turned over his hand gently squeezing it and kissed it. He leaned over, whispering in her ear,

"Thank you. I love you." Mike kissed her.

Mike leaned back over, looking over his shoulder all three kids were asleep. Emma put her hand on his face, he looked at her again.

"Your welcome. I love you too."

Once they got home, Hannah and Mike sat on the couch, Hannah eventually fell asleep against Mike. Mike cuddled her, while he watched Michaela, who was in pain Emma was sitting on the floor with her. Mike could see the guilt on her face, Emma had taken it personally when Michaela was diagnosed with Spina Bifida, even though it had come from her father's side. He gently laid Hannah down on the couch, he went over, and pulled Emma up and pulled her to his chair sitting down with her in his lap. Emma started crying, and Mike pulled her face coming to rest in his neck wrapping his arms around her.

"I don't think I can do this Mike, watching her struggle her entire life."

"Yes you can, as she has her mom, dad, sister, and brother she can do whatever she wants too." Mike whispered.

The day of the 20th was spent like Lucas' death anniversary was, spent looking at pictures and telling stories. Hannah had actually found some stuff Sophia and her had made for Mike for when he got back and gave it to him. Mostly letters, pictures, a woven leather cuff that he immediately put on. That night Mike and Emma were laying in bed, watching a movie. Mike looked down seeing Emma was asleep, with tears streaks down her cheeks. Knowing those tears weren't from the movie, he turned off the tv, moving to lay down with Emma on his chest.

"Love you, thank you for helping me through my breakdown." Mike whispered.

"Your welcome." Emma whispered, sniffing a bit.

Mike took her face in both his hands, moving her head to look at him.

"Michaela will be okay."

"I know." Emma looked down.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Emma tried to move, but Mike held her firmly.

"Come on honey, it's me. What's wrong?" Mike looked at her, seeing her guilt.

"Maybe I could have prevented this by taking more prenatal vitamins and eating healthier, I could have gone to the doctor more often, done less heavy lifting. "

"Hey, you did everything the doctor asked you to do." Mike sat up pulling her with him out of bed.

"What are you doing?" Emma had a scared look on her face.

Mike walked over to Michaela's crib, looking at her then at Emma.

"Come here." Mike held his hand out to her.

Emma looked at his hand then at his face back to his hand.

"Come here, you know I would never hurt you."

Emma took his hand, following his lead. Mike pulled her closer,

"Look, is she crying?"

"No."

"Is she wet or stinking?"

"No."

"Does she seem happy when she's around you?"

"Yes."

"Then you're doing your job as her mother, she is fed, changed, and bathed regularly. You're a wonderful mother, that little girl, along with Hannah and Mikey are lucky to have you as a mom. You saved and looked after my children, who would not have survived if you hadn't taken them in. Your decisions and actions got you and my children here with me. If you could change things then we may never have met. You can't change the past and trying to second guess yourself for something that probably would have happened whatever you did or didn't do will only cause you pain." Mike was looking at her, as he said this.

"Thank you, I love you."

"Your welcome, I love you, too."