Dean kissed back. He kissed back?

Castiel's surprise rushed through him like being suddenly doused with cold water, and it tingled up to his lips. He pressed against Dean, hard.

And Dean did the same.

The kiss was abrasive, the both of them trying to tell the other how they felt. It was fire, and ice, and hate, and want. It was everything Castiel had yearned for these years, and was somehow still lacking. So he pushed, he pushed for that thing it lacked. He sucked and bit at Dean's lips, a growl leaving him of its own accord. Dean had an answering growl, and he shoved at Cas now, but not as if he wanted him to stop, but as if he wanted the upper hand.

Castiel pulled away, breathing fiercely, lips burning.

Dean's lips reached for his, but then he realized they wouldn't be kissing again. He pulled back, and just stared, eyes wide.

"It's okay," Castiel assured, seeing the self-loathing building up in his eyes, seeing him retreating back into the shell his father had forced him into. Castiel didn't understand it, not in the way a human would, but he could see it, feel it. "Dean…" Castiel gave a sharp inhale, and then the truth was ripped from him, brought to life in the air, before Dean's eyes, breath whispering across his skin: "It's okay because… because I love you."

Dean just gave such a great inhale that it was as if it sucked at Castiel's Grace. His nostrils flared, and he clenched his jaw, tilting his head, pleading, pleading…

They stared. They stared and stared until they crossed that chasm between them — that dark, yawning thing, void of light, but bristling and seething with want. And they met each other on the other side. But they didn't reach out, didn't touch. Not yet. Would they ever?

Castiel stepped back, and the chasm swallowed him up.

The hurt he felt couldn't be expressed. It was crushing everything he was. Should he apologize?

No, he answered, firm. I'll never apologize for such a thing.

It would be the wrong thing to do, it would be against everything he'd fought for and believed in.

"You don't have to say anything," Castiel told him, beginning to walk away. "I just had to tell you."

Dean reached out for him. Held him. He couldn't breathe.

"Cas."

The way he said his name, like it was a plea, a prayer... it nearly sent Castiel to his knees.

"I…" He turned him around, and Cas let him. "Okay, look at me. I need you to look at me." There were shadows in Dean's eyes, things that he wanted to be kept hidden. But as their eyes met, those shadows cleared. Dean and Castiel stepped closer to each other, and they met before that line between them. The line was already fading, Castiel brushing it away. All they needed was for Dean to step over it.

He did:

"Cas, I love you."

Castiel's heart stopped. Dean was against him, their wants and needs sharing space, brushing up against each other. They melded.

"I can't help it. I just… I do. That's why—that's why it hurts so much. Why the shit with Mom, and Jack — god, it just hurts, Cas. It fucking hurts. But it wouldn't hurt if I—if I didn't love you. And… and I do. Oh, god, I do. I don't know how, or when it happened, I just know that this feeling I get every time I'm around you, every time I think of you… I can't get away from it. You're in my soul, Cas. You're…" Dean's eyes teared up, and Castiel's were already doing the same. "You're everything to me, man."

When Castiel inhaled, it was like the world was right, and safe, and whole.

"And the shit with God," Dean went on, "it's messing me up. It's messing me up so bad that I… I don't even know if this is real, if any of it is."

"Dean," Castiel began, voice soft, as if talking to a frightened animal, "what I felt just now, when we kissed… that felt real." Slowly, slowly, he reached up a hand and brushed his fingers against Dean's lips. Dean's breath was warm against his skin, and those cupid's bow lips parted ever so slightly. "I know God says we're his story. But this — this is ours. We're real, Dean."

"Cas, there's this… this part of me doesn't even want to believe it, doesn't want to accept. I—"

"I know," Castiel told him. "You hate yourself. And it breaks my heart. Dean, you are the most loving, selfless, caring man I have ever met… will ever know. I need you to see that. I need you to know that darkness isn't all there is for you. I love you. And I don't know how to stop."

Dean leaned in, lips close to Castiel's. "I don't want it to stop," he murmured.

They came together.

Long minutes passed before they were able to draw away from each other. Castiel went to find Sam afterwards.

They just sat together, not really talking about anything important, but knowing that they were special to each other. Eventually...

"Do you think we're gonna get out of here?" Sam asked.

Castiel knew his answer, knew what they were all thinking, but maybe saying it would make it real, would take the hopelessness and bring it forth into their world. So he simply responded, "I don't know. But… if we don't. Sam, when we first met, I… I said some awful things to you."

Sam just gave Cas a sad smile. "It's okay."

"No, Sam, I'm trying to apologize."

Sam let out a heavy breath. "And I'm telling you that you don't have to. What you said, what you did — that's not who you are. Not really. You've made up for it. You've more than made up for it. Cas, you're my best friend. You don't have to be sorry."

Castiel smiled.

Sam smiled.

"I'm glad I'm with you," Castiel said. "I'd trade my life for yours, any day, any time… and I'd give anything to not have you in here with me, to know that you would be okay, that maybe you'd survive all this. But if I had to be with someone, I'm glad it's you. I'm glad it's Dean. You're my family."

The beginning of the end continued, the Winchesters and Castiel void of hope, but they had each other, and they held on to that. Only the sundering of worlds could weaken that grip.

For the moment, their world remained whole.

A/N: One more chapter left!