Hello. I haven't been updating in a while for my stories, and I best come clean.
Hi, I'm Crazyman03. Or at least that's what I go by in this site. I'm a self-taught writer who's been writing for 3 and a half years (around 2 years if you count my very slow update schedule). My most popular story is Blonde Memories, which this A/N will be posted at.
I have a confession to make.
The truth is, I'm not very invested in writing anymore.
That's not to say that I hate it, nor will I give up on it. It's just that it's lower in my priority list nowadays. I love you all and I love providing stories for all of you to read, but I can't seem to just sit down and write like I used to. To me, it feels like it's much work than it has to offer.
Before anyone makes conclusions, no, I do not have any physical or mental problems. I am perfectly fine in terms of being alive. So don't worry. But I do have reasons as to why I don't write anymore. These are the main offenders:
1.) New things that I want to learn and push myself to be better at - Back then, I only had guitar and writing as my hobby. I spent hours on guitar, but not enough to hinder my writing. But when the pandemic started, I finally had much more time to pursue things I had yet to pursue. I'm learning art, I'm learning music theory, and I'm also trying to learn Japanese. These combined in my day, it feels as if writing was a lot less important.
2.) Lack of interest in RWBY - I don't like RWBY much anymore. The pandemic allowed me to freely do anything I want, and watching anime was something I hesitated for a long time. After discovering much greater shows than RWBY, I just couldn't help myself. I quit the fandom. The only thing keeping me from fully cutting off is my stories I have yet to finish.
3.) Career and Burnout - I've always pursued to be a songwriter/musician since I started guitar 3 years ago. But only in this year I actually started to take it seriously. I started recording my own songs, only having myself to do all the work. My creativity is poured into my music, that it doesn't have a lot left for writing.
4.) I'm...kinda scared - I feel pressured in myself to give all of you the highest quality of chapters as much as possible. When I put words on paper, sometimes I feel inadequate. Like it's not good enough for all of you. I know there's no such thing as the perfect chapter, but to make a good one strikes fear in me.
Lastly, it doesn't feel fun anymore. It feels like work, and that's a point which helped me procrastinate.
I wanted to share this to you all because I don't want to leave you all in the dark. If I suddenly left, then at least I have provided you the reasons of what may have caused it.
I'm sorry. You probably heard that a million times from me now, and maybe it finally lost its meaning when I say it. But I apologize. I really do. I'm sorry for letting you all down, for making a promise of finishing my stories. I'm sorry for being so slow.
The reality is, I'm just a 16 year old kid writing for fun. I didn't find it fun anymore when I constantly pressured myself to make a good story. It was just not my style. That and with my falling out for RWBY helped me avoid writing chapters even more.
I'm not taking a break, however, I am not going to post much. When the time arrives, maybe I'll come back with more energy. More vigor to get me on track. But for now, I think it's best for me to follow my own interests and my dreams. To follow my happiness. I'll stop pressuring myself for all of our sake, and I'll try to get back into a mindset which I haven't tapped in for a while:
Just write and enjoy it.
That's all I have to say for now. I love you all and I will see you in the next one.
Crazyman out.