"Morning Jess."
"Morning ms. Luthor." Jess says, handing Lena a cup. She looks like she wants to add something or ask something, but unsure whether it's her place.
"Thank you. How are you today, Jess?" Lena asks as she receives the cup of coffee, giving Jess the opening to ask her back how she's doing.
"I'm fine, ms. Luthor. How are you?" Jess says, glad for the opportunity.
"I'm good, thanks." Lena replies, walking to her office. "Would you mind joining me for some updates?"
"Oh, err… Yes, ms. Luthor." Jess says as she hurries to grab her tablet and runs after the CEO.
Lena puts her coat away and gathers her belongings from her bag before storing it away. She takes a seat in her office chair and turns around to face Jess, who is now standing in front of said desk.
"First, change my morning coffee to decaf or tea." Lena says, pushing her coffee towards Jess. She waits a moment for Jess to catch up, seeing the realisation dawn in her assistant's eyes. "I'll not be able to do most of my lab rounds, so Sidney will have to take over and just report anything noteworthy back to me. I'd like Alice to take over the dealings with our Asian associates, if she's okay with having meetings at odd hours. Could you ask them if they're okay with that?" Lena waits for Jess to nod in affirmation. "And, if you don't mind, would you inform me if you go out for lunch. You know I tend to forget time when I'm busy. And lastly," Lena makes sure to look Jess straight in the eye. "Neither of us will tell anyone until we absolutely have to. I don't need some anti-Luthor activists finding out the bloodline will be extended. I don't need my mother to find out my bloodline will be extended. Clear?" Lena rests her forearms on her desk, watching as her assistant seizes to type on her tablet.
"Yes, ms. Luthor." Jess says, knowing full well that Lena will become an even bigger target when any of this information leaks. The assistant starts to turn around to resume her work when Lena calls her back.
"Oh, and Jess. I think it's time you start calling me Lena. Miss Luthor makes me feel old and to be honest it's a little weird to have someone my age call me that. Besides, I think you know about anything there is to know about me so why not just call me by my actual name." Lena says with a kind smile.
"Oh. Right. Sure, miss L- Lena." Jess corrects herself, smiling brightly back before making her way back out the office to her own desk.
Kara and Lena have been sitting together on Lena's office couch in silence for a while. Kara had tried to convince Lena to visit the DEO, make them their doctors and Lena had refused and cut the conversation short. Her own doctor is perfectly fine and capable, thank you very much. The lingering silence is tangible as Lena plays with her food. Kara's already finished eating and uncomfortably adjusting her glasses every few seconds, not sure what to say or whether to say anything at all. The silence isn't necessarily uncomfortable, but it's not the nice silence they've had for a while. Lena's mind is clearly somewhere else, while Kara's isn't and she's fidgeting fervently.
"Do you still miss him and think about him often?" Lena asks, making a few twirling motions with her fork in her food.
Kara immediately knows who she's talking about, but when she tries to remember the last time she's really thought about him she comes up empty. She's been to focussed on her own life, on movies with Alex and Maggie, on joking with Winn, on trying to rekindle her friendship with James, and on Lena. On worrying over Lena, on feeling guilty for everything that happened, on reassuring her that Lena was not to blame. Sure, Mon-El popped up in her thoughts sometimes, but no longer with the painful feelings she felt those first weeks. She hopes that he's somewhere safe and making a life of his own, just like she's been doing. Life's too short to spend it mourning someone you never truly loved, even for a Kryptonian.
Lena's eyes lock on Kara's for the first time since she's told Kara off for trying to make her change doctors.
"Honestly, not in the last few weeks. I mean, sometimes. But not really, not like when he'd just left. I'm too busy to think about him probably." Kara shrugs. "I mean, I think more about the necklace I gave him when he left than I do about him really."
"Oh." Lena's not sure what she'd expected, but she is sure it wasn't this. She eyes Kara curiously but her friend seems to be telling the truth.
"You know I don't blame you for what happened, right. You didn't make the final decision. You saved National City and the citizens. You're a hero, you know."
Lena averts her eyes and shrugs. She still doesn't believe it herself, she killed a lot of Daxamites. Even if she didn't press that button, she did build the device.
"Can I be completely honest with you, no judgement?" Kara asks, looking sideways at Lena as if she's afraid of asking.
"Of course, Kara. Always." Lena turns a little towards the reporter, showing Kara some more support.
"I don't really mind him being gone anymore. I didn't see it before but I'm happier without him. I was happier before him. So, actually I think I should thank you for building the device. And Supergirl for pressing the button, but mostly you because without there wouldn't be a button to press."
"Really?" Lena's voice sounded somewhere between surprise and disbelieve, thinking that Kara was only saying that to make her feel better not because it was actually true.
"I wouldn't lie to you, Lena." Kara said, a smile creating friendly crinkles around her eyes, her hand squeezing Lena's shortly. "Have you found anything out about your mom? Your birth mom."
Lena shakes her head, she'd tried but she knew if Lillian wanted to keep something hidden she'd do it thoroughly.
"Have I showed you the picture yet?" She asks instead.
"No, does she look nice? She probably does. I bet she's gorgeous, I mean, she's your mom." Kara started rambling.
Lena sent her an amused smile as she got up to grab the picture from her purse.
"I guess I actually have two pictures to show you. But this one first." Lena hands over the image of her mother.
Kara has seen the picture before, as Supergirl. Now she gets to actually see it as herself, and maybe offer some form of comfort she wasn't allowed to as Supergirl.
"I called it. She's beautiful. She looks like you. A lot. You could be twins." Kara says, holding the picture next to Lena's face and staring between the two to emphasize her point.
Lena doesn't blush, but she has to try very hard to keep it that way. Kara thinks her birthmother is beautiful and she thinks Lena and her look alike. So, by extension, Kara thinks she's beautiful. Now, of course, Lena's known for a long time she's rather good-looking but it's still different if someone you like, really like, tells you.
"Thanks Kara," Lena says, in the most dignified voice she can manage at the moment.
"You really found out nothing about her?" Kara's eyes grow sad at the idea, even she knows about her parents and they're not even from this planet.
"No, I mean. I remember some small things. Looking at the picture helps sometimes. I know she was Irish. That's why I went to Dublin for an internship in college. I know she loved me and I remember some other small things. Like going to the park, drawing her, getting a sticker if I made my bed. But it all feels so foreign. All so different from the Luthors. And I was so young when she died, I'm not even sure if my memories are real or just figments of my imagination that I came up with one day and decided to stick with."
For Lena, life was so different. For Lena, her new family after her adoption didn't mean love and happiness, hugs and support, help. Kara doesn't really know how life with the Luthors worked completely, but she got the gist of it and it didn't sound like a healthy environment for a child.
"Did I tell you I'm actually a Luthor?"
If it wasn't for the serious look on the CEO's face, Kara would have burst into laughter. Instead, she stifles a smile and tries to be equally serious about the matter.
"Lena, it's literally your last name. How can anyone not know you're a Luthor? Do you have pregnancy brain?" Kara tries to joke. Lena doesn't laugh, though and only shakes her head.
"No, I mean. I'm actually a Luthor. By blood. Lionel was my real father. He had an affair with my mother. That's why the Luthor's adopted me. Because he couldn't watch me grow up in an orphanage. That's why Lillian hates me. I remind her of my birth mom."
Kara's mouth opens to form a silent 'oh'.
"So, maybe I should give you a gun and tell you to shoot me when the inevitable comes and I go insane, like a real Luthor. At least then I'd be good at being a Luthor." Lena lets out a self-deprecating laugh at her joke, but Kara isn't amused.
"Lena, don't say that. Your heritage does not make you who you are. Just because you share blood with the Luthors does not mean you have to end up like them." Kara says as she thinks of her own parents. She really believes she's right. She won't end up like her own parents, making viruses that kill entire species and letting worlds burn because pride got in the way of salvation. Kara firmly believes everyone writes their own story and is quick to tell Lena that.
"We'll see." Lena says with a shrug.
Kara places a hand on her friend's knee, silently telling her to give herself a little credit.
"On to a nicer topic," Lena announced as she replaced the picture in Kara's hand with another, smaller, one. "It's about a week old, so they've grown a little probably, and started growing teeth and earlobes." Lena explains, while Kara stares at the grainy black and white image trying to figure out what she's supposed to be seeing.
"I'm lost, Lena. What am I looking at?" Kara finally asks, only seeing a lot of weird snow with some blotches.
Lena scoots a little closer so they're both bent over the picture now. She points at a black blotch.
"That's the baby." It's probably the hormones, but when Kara replies with a coo and "it's a little peanut", Lena can't help the tears forming in her eyes. Kara studies the picture for a moment before looking over at Lena, mouth open to say something. When she sees Lena, however, she shuts her mouth and pulls her friend closer. She places the picture on her lap and uses her now free hand to hug Lena a little tighter.
"Hey, it's okay."
"I'm sorry," Lena says, as she uselessly wipes at the tears trickling down her cheeks. "It's probably the hormones. You know, the other day I almost cried at that puppy video you sent me."
"You don't have to apologize for crying, Lena. And if it helps, I sometimes also cry a little at puppy videos." Kara admits, earning a watery laugh from Lena.
"You should probably finish your food before it's cold." Kara says after a moment of silence.
Lena nods and takes another small bite.
"I think I'm too late. It's already cold." She laughs when she swallows the bite. Kara gasps, hands clutching her chest as if Lena has just committed one of the worst food crimes possible. Though in Kara Danvers book, she probably did. Lena doubts Kara has ever eaten food slow enough for it to cool down even a little, let alone a lot.
Lena bursts out laughing at both Kara's still bulging eyes and the idea of having to watch Kara eat cold food. Kara is quick to join in with a wide smile and small giggle.
Kara had finally gotten the okay from the DEO to tell Lena about Supergirl. It taken her a little longer than she'd liked, but she was happy enough J'onn finally agreed without meeting Lena. Kara's sure Lena would not have appreciated that. Not only because J'onn looking like Hank Henshaw would bring up some bad memories. Also because Lena would definitely not like having her mind read, especially now. Not only does her brain contain a lot of secret L-Corp projects, Kara's sure Lena doesn't actually want anyone –including a secret government agency director who can keep a secret– knowing about her pregnancy. Especially since her determination to not have the DEO involved unless strictly necessary was so evident. So Kara had –even though she still doesn't know how she managed without spilling any secrets– gotten Alex to help her convince J'onn there was no need for him to meet Lena. They had made a few convincing statements, Lena did save J'onn life with Myriad and the entire National City population with the Daxamite invasion, and J'onn had reluctantly agreed.
"Okay, so. I want to tell you something. And I haven't told you before even though I wanted and I probably should have. But I didn't. And it wasn't because you're a Luthor or I didn't trust you. I just didn't want to change… us. What we have. Because I could always just be myself. Really, it was more selfish than anything else actually. And I've told Winn, but that was when it was all so new and exciting. And James knows because Clark told him."
Lena has no idea where Kara is going with this rambling. She wants to interrupt but Kara looks fierce and determined and it seems that this is just something she needs to get off her chest. So Lena listens, even if she has no clue who Kara is talking about. Lena just sits back a little and keeps her questions to herself as Kara's words seem to come faster and faster.
"And my mom Eliza knows and Alex knows, they're my family so of course they know. And Maggie, but she figured it out herself. Oh, and I told Lucy, but that was different. I had to tell her. But she's not really around anymore, too busy with work and such." Kara takes a deep breath and simultaneously tries to look and not look at Lena.
"I guess what I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't feel bad that I haven't told you earlier. I haven't told a lot of people and I wasn't allowed to. So. Uhm. I'll just have to tell you now I guess. Gosh, this was easier with Winn." Kara pulls on the collar of her shirt, as if it's cutting of air and blood. At this moment, Lena feels like it's alright to intervene, placing a reassuring hand on Kara's knee and sending her a supportive look. There's not really anything that Kara can say to make Lena hate her, or not want to be friends anymore. Lena knows she'll support Kara through anything. It's the least she can do for the reporter. Kara keeps sticking with her every time she thinks the must've scared the blonde off for good.
Kara's eyes move to Lena's hand and then to Lena's eyes. She closes her own for a moment, steeling herself.
"I'm Supergirl." She says, making sure she's not talking too fast.