The furniture from the living room had been moved against the walls, so that the space there was empty. The idea behind it was to make a "dance floor", but most of the people in the room were only standing around and chatting with each other, trying to drown out the music. A folding table with all kinds of booze on it served as a self-serve bar and the tub in the bathroom had been filled with cold water, tons of ice and beer cans. It felt like frat-party, Jean thought as he took a sip of his drink and looked around the room. Armin had invited a lot of their colleagues, including Marlo, Hitch, Boris and Anka from their current team. Sasha and three of their neighbours were the only people in the room who weren't cops. Jean's look stopped at Sasha. She was standing at the bar, mixing a drink and casually chatting with Marlo and a guy whose name Jean didn't even know.

It had surprised Jean when Sasha agreed to come to Armin's party, mostly because she had always cancelled when his roommates invited her to something. He didn't know whether it was the alcohol, but she seemed different today, more confident in her skin, while Jean couldn't shake off the usual panic he felt when his roommates interacted with his fake girlfriend.

Sasha, Marlo and the guy took a shot and laughed, before she stepped away from them and came over to Jean. She grinned and gave him a kiss, completely leaning against him. "Let's dance," she suggested and giggled.

"Are you drunk?", Jean asked, not knowing how to react. He didn't know what she was like when intoxicated and he was afraid that she could do or say something to give them away.

Sasha seemed to have read his mind because she shook her head. "Don't worry, Jean! But you should relax a bit." And with that, she dragged him to the middle of the makeshift dance floor in the living room and she started to move her upper body from one side to the other.

"Are you calling that dancing?" Jean couldn't help but to tease her for it. It really didn't resemble any dancing style he had heard of. "It looks more like you're trying to keep your balance on a rocking ship."

Sasha playfully smacked him a let out an offended "Hey!", but then she took his free hand and continued to dance with him.

At first, Jean laughed but then he gave in and copied her movements. He didn't know that side of hers, and it was fun to jump around like that. Sasha looked excited and laughed throughout their dance and Jean couldn't help but feel a bit of disappointment coming up, that it wouldn't last for much longer. The next morning she'd probably get back to being her distant self.

/

Sasha woke up to the smell of coffee. She blinked a few times and saw Jean sit back down at the other side of the bed, where she was turned to.

"How late is it?", she asked, still sleepy.

Jean picked up his mobile from the nightstand and turned the display on. "Almost noon," he answered.

It had been after three in the morning when the last guests had gone home, and Sasha remembered that she had been drinking and dancing until then. It had been fun, as far as she could remember, but her body was definitely not happy with it, the way it was aching now. Jean offered her the other mug he had brought in and she sat up, thankfully accepting it. This is a lifesaver.

"So, do you have any plans for today?", Jean suddenly asked, breaking the silence.

"I don't know, I'm off for the week. I'll probably just catch up on some shows and sleep," she answered. It was rare for them to have several consecutive days off from work and knowing what shitshow was about to come, she'd rather not do anything until then.

"I'm free today as well," Jean said and looked around the room. He seemed nervous. "Would you maybe like to do something? Together?"

"Oh." It was hard to read Jean. The night before, Sasha had sometimes had the feeling that he was a little bit too into his role. But then again, she had been pretty affectionate as well in front on the other people and once they had gone to his room, Jean had acted normal – or as normal as one could be in their situation. The two of them had worked hard to maintain the illusion of a relationship with texting and public display of affection, so that Jean's roommates wouldn't get suspicious, and Sasha wondered if the line had become too blurry over time.

As if he read her mind, Jean awkwardly added; "Not… Not on a date or anything. Just hang out."

It did sound better than sitting around at home alone. "Alright, why not?"

/

Hanji felt like her heart would jump out of her chest at any moment when she stepped onto the campus. On first glance, everything seemed like it had always been before. Students were rushing to class, sitting around in groups on the lawn and chatting or they had their laptops out. When Hanji reached the front door of the building, her palms were sweaty. She wiped her hands against her jeans and reached for the handle. She pushed the door open and took two steps, before she stopped. Somehow, she had almost expected that someone would jump out and arrest her on the spot, but no one seemed to even notice her. Maybe Levi's concerns had made her too paranoid and no one knew that she was a member of the Corps?

She went down to the Dean's office, determined to get her old job back. The secretary greeted her kindly, asking how she had been. As far as her old colleagues knew, Hanji had been in an awful car crash and she had taken time off to heal. The actual talk with the Dean didn't take all too long, as her coming back was treated like she was just returning from a long, unpaid, sick leave – the Dean was glad to have her back, although he wasn't too happy about Hanji not returning to her research. "But it's better than not having you back at all," the Dean had said when he finally agreed to Hanji's terms.

Satisfied with herself, Hanji left the office, taking out her phone.

to Levi: I've got my job back!

Without looking up from her phone, she took a left turn, immediately bumping into someone.

"I'm –", she wanted to apologize, but then froze when she saw the other person.

"You!" Nifa was standing in front of her, with a shocked expression on her face. "What are you doing here?"

Since she had set foot on the campus Hanji had been mentally preparing herself that she could run into Moblit, but she hadn't expected to see Nifa there. "I – I was at the Dean's", she stammered. She felt her heartbeat getting faster and panic creeping up as Nifa's shocked expression changed for an angry one.

"You have some nerve, showing up here," the other women said in a low, cold voice.

"Look, I'm sorry how things ended last time we saw each other," Hanji started. She hadn't seen Nifa since the visit at the hospital. Sometimes she had wondered whether they'd be able to talk things out sometime, but looking at her old friend now, it seemed like that bridge was burned down.

"You mean how you decided to join the Mafia?"

There was a contempt in Nifa's voice that Hanji had never heard before. Holy shit, what if Levi had been right and this is it for me?, she thought.

"I just don't get why," Nifa said before Hanji could answer. "I want to tell myself that it was because of the money, but I know you better than that."

Nifa was right. Admittedly, it was nice not having to worry about money, but Hanji had never been materialistic. She still didn't care if the wine she was drinking came out of a carton or 100$ bottle and if it weren't for Levi's snobbery, insisting that he had to be the one to do the shopping, she would probably also still use the same 3-in-1 shampoo she had before moving in with him. However, if money had been the only selling point from the Recon Corps back then, she would never have agreed to work for them.

"It's not. I … I guess I'm just not the person you thought I was," Hanji answered.

The other woman shook her head. "No, I guess not. But you can't tell me that there was no reason behind it."

"I think you know the answer to that one."

"Yeah," she answered coldly and walked past Hanji. "Maybe I just hoped to be wrong about it."

"Look, I feel terrible for what I did to Moblit," Hanji said, turning after Nifa, who stopped but didn't turn around. Nevertheless, Hanji continued. "You know better than anyone that it would have happened anyway. I feel terrible for the way it ended, but not that it did, as harsh as that sounds."

There was a pause. Hanji could see how Nifa's shoulders went up a bit, as she probably took a deep breath in. "You know," she finally said, still with her back to Hanji; "I just never imagined that you'd throw away your life like that … for that man?"

The disdainful way "that" was pronounced irritated Hanji. "If I could go back in time, knowing what would happen to me on that one day, I'd still chose him", she said truthfully.

Instead of answering, Nifa walked away.

/

It was already dark outside when Hanji finally came home. She closed the front door and kicked her shoes off.

"In the living room," she heard Levi shout out and she went in that direction, taking off her jacket while walking, then tossing it on the floor. She'd pick it up later.

When she entered the room, she saw Levi sitting on the couch. He was holding up some papers in one hand, his look focused on them. He had his legs up on the coffee-table, which was something he usually wouldn't tolerate anyone else to do.

"I just need a minute," he said without taking his eyes off the paper in front of him. Judging by his focus it probably was about the operation tomorrow.

Hanji stopped and looked at him. He had a serious face and the way he wrinkled his eyebrows almost made it look like he was angry. She didn't know why, but she suddenly had to think back to the first time she had been in the flat – maybe it was because of the things Nifa had said. If Hanji was honest with herself, that had already been the day she had made her decision. She saw that amused smirk of his in front of her, when he teased her. The worry in his face when she woke up in the hospital. She saw him chasing her through the Titan. Throwing her screaming self into the pool. Carrying her up the stairs to the car. Trying to keep a serious and annoyed face when she starts telling him jokes and then failing at it. Buying the ice-cream he doesn't like, only because she does. Telling -

"… you okay? Oi, Hanji?"

"What?" Hanji jolted. She was back in the room.

"Are you okay?" Levi was suddenly in front of her. She hadn't noticed him standing up.

"I … I …"

"You started shaking," he said, putting the back of his hand against her forehead. "What happened?"

"I don't want you to die tomorrow," she answered.

Levi's expression changed from worried to guilty. He led her to the couch. "Don't worry, everything will be fine," he whispered and hugged her after she sat down.

"But what if the plan fails and Shadis won't change sides? What if they lure you into a trap? What if they see it as an opportunity to get rid of you? He has already tried it", she mumbled against his chest. She had done her best to keep those thoughts out of her head for the last days, but they had suddenly come back to her.

"I can't lose you", she finally said.

Levi's grip around her tightened, pulling her even closer to him.

"You won't. No matter what happens tomorrow, I'll come back to you. I promise."

/

AN: Happy New Year! I hope you're doing good :)
My New Year's resolution was to finish this story before Season 4 ends, so let's see how that will go :D