Lena woke up and reached over expecting to feel Kara. Her hand hit the mattress as she sat up and turned on the light not seeing her. She got up and checked the bathroom and main room. The balcony door was cracked open slightly, so she stuck her head out there but Kara was nowhere to be found. She started to feel worry build up as she went back into the bedroom picking up her phone and seeing it was close to 4am. She tried to dial Kara's number but heard her phone ring on the other side of the bed. She was starting to get a pit in her stomach, so she dialed Alex and waited for an answer.
"Lena, what's wrong?" Alex asked sleepily as she sat up in bed.
"Hey sorry to wake you up. I just woke up and I can't find Kara anywhere. Her phone is in our room but when I went out to the main room the balcony door was open a little bit. I don't know do you think she went out to fly?" Lena asked with worry in her voice.
"Alright hey don't panic. Let me call J'onn and I will have him sweep the city and check the fortress okay," Alex said. "I am going to give Maggie my phone and use hers to call okay," Alex continued.
"Hey, Alex is calling J'onn right now," Maggie said quietly.
"Okay. Maggie what if she did something," Lena said.
"Lena…maybe she just needed to get some air," Maggie said.
"I don't know I just have a bad feeling about this," Lena said as she started to pace around in the main room.
"Alright Lena just take a deep breath. J'onn is going to fly around a little. I'll stay on the phone with you," Maggie said with a calm demeanor.
"Let me know…Hey hold on Maggie, Clark is calling me," Lena said as she put Maggie on hold and picked up the other call.
"Clark," Lena said.
"Lena, hey sorry if I woke you. I just wanted to let you know Kara is here. She showed up a little bit ago and well long story short I think the flight took a lot out of her. She pretty much passed out on the couch. I am going to fly her back over," Clark said as Lena heard whispering in the background figuring it was Lois.
"Alright thanks Clark," Lena said as she hung up the phone and went back to Maggie's call.
"Hey Maggie, let Alex know Clark found Kara," Lena said as she exhaled a breath, she didn't realize she was holding. Lena heard Maggie talk and then get back on the phone.
"Okay I let Alex know so she can tell J'onn. Is she okay?" Maggie asked with concern in her voice.
"I think so I don't know. Clark didn't go into much detail. He said she pretty much passed out on the couch, so he was going to fly her back over. I figure she must have used most of whatever energy she had to get over there. Look I think she is just going to be asleep so why don't you two go back to bed and if you want you can come over in a few hours," Lena said as she opened the balcony door waiting for Clark.
"Okay sounds good," Maggie said as she said bye and hung up.
Lena only had to wait a few minutes before Clark showed up carrying a sleeping Kara.
"Hey thanks for bringing her back," Lena said as she let Clark into the room.
"Of course," Clark said as she gently carried Kara to their room and laid her in the bed under the covers. He looked at her for a minute before going back out into the main room where Lena was waiting.
"What happened? She just showed up?" Lena asked as she crossed her arms looking at Clark.
"Yeah, I was asleep and heard something, so I went out to the main room and she was on the balcony. I went out there and we talked for a little bit. She seemed a little off, I guess. I don't know she was just talking about when we were kids. I had her come in and lay on the couch because I thought she was going to pass out," Clark said as Lena nodded her head.
"Okay, I woke up and couldn't find her anywhere and just sort of went into a little panic," Lena said as she looked back into the bedroom to make sure Kara was still asleep.
"Yeah I understand. How is everything going?" Clark asked.
"She's struggling but she is trying her best," Lena admitted as Clark's face softened.
"She's strong. Stronger than I could have ever been had the roles been reversed," Clark said. "Let Kara know that I will call her tomorrow and if you ever need help just let me know," Clark said as she stood in the doorway.
"Alright I will. Thanks again Clark for getting her home safe," Lena said.
"Of course," Clark said before taking off towards the sky.
Lena shut the door behind him and turned the lights off in the main room before making her way into the bedroom. Kara moved slightly as Lena laid back down but settled when Lena wrapped her arms around her. She stayed up for a little bit making sure Kara was still asleep before closing her eyes and falling asleep.
She woke up a few hours later to find Kara still sound asleep next to her. She quietly made her way out of bed and started a pot of coffee. She had been sitting on the couch for a few minutes when she heard footsteps approaching. She looked up and saw Kara who couldn't even look her in the eyes.
"Lena, I don't even really know what to say. I'm sorry," Kara said quietly as Lena got up off the couch and went over to her.
"Kara you could have really hurt yourself. Clark said you could barely stand when you got over to his place," Lena said a bit harsher than she meant to. She took a deep breath to calm herself before slowly making her way towards Kara and wrapped her up in a hug. "I just got scared when I woke up and you weren't there," Lena whispered as she put her head against Kara's before pulling back.
"I know I should have woken you up. I just…I don't even really know why I ended up there. I don't know," Kara said. Lena knew there was something Kara wasn't telling her but didn't want to push right now.
"It's just…Kara you can't do that again. Okay you can't scare me like that again," Lena said as Kara nodded her head and fell back into Lena's embrace. "Maybe you should call Kelly and see if you can talk to her," Lena suggested.
"Yeah I guess so," Kara said as she stayed in Lena's arms not wanting to let go yet. They stayed like that for another minute before Kara pulled back and went to the bedroom to grab her phone. She dialed Kelly's number and waited.
"Hey Kara, is everything okay?" Kelly asked.
"Umm I don't know. I'm sorry to bother you but I just wanted to see if we could maybe talk," Kara said hesitantly.
"Yeah sure, I am actually near your place. I can be there in 30 minutes," Kelly said.
"Alright thanks," Kara said before hanging up the phone and going back into the main room. Lena looked up from her computer. "She is going to come over in like 30 minutes," Kara said as Lena nodded her head.
"Alright. I am going to run over to L-Corp and grab some paperwork while she is here," Lena said as Kara nodded her head.
"Maggie texted and she is going to come over in like an hour or so. You can stay at work and get some stuff done," Kara said as Lena nodded her head. "Alright I am just going to take a quick shower," Kara said as she made her way into the bathroom.
00000
Kelly showed up right after Lena had left the apartment and she sat down in the main room as Kara sat down on the couch. Kelly could see the dark circles under Kara's eyes and knew the girl probably hadn't been sleeping.
"So, what is going on?" Kelly asked.
"I sort of freaked Lena out this morning. I woke up in the middle of the night and ended up flying to Clark's place. Lena woke up while I was gone and panicked when she couldn't find me.
"Okay, Kara explain to me what happened when you woke up," Kelly said as Kara nodded her head.
"I had a nightmare that Clark's pod didn't make it to Earth. It blew up before it got there. I knew it was a nightmare but at the same time it felt so real. I think I just wanted to check and make sure he was okay. I flew over there and was just going to get close enough to hear his heartbeat. My powers haven't been that great recently so I couldn't hear it from here. By the time I got there I was so tired and felt so weak that I ended up on his balcony," Kara said.
"You said you think?" Kelly asked.
"That's the thing I don't know. I can't exactly remember all that happened between waking up and getting over to Clark's. It's almost like I blacked out and ended up there," Kara said.
"Believe it or not that is actually quite common for someone who is going through what you are right now. It's usually known as dissociative disorder. The mind will block out certain things from our memory and it can cause you to forget or not remember certain things. I'm sure it was probably a little scary," Kelly said.
"Yeah, I mean I didn't want to worry Lena any more than I already did this morning, so I didn't really tell her about any of this. Is there any way to make it stop?" Kara asked.
"The main way to work through it would be doing what we are doing here. Talking through your trauma and your emotions can help lessen it," Kelly said as Kara nodded her head.
"Umm I wanted to ask you something also," Kara said as she shifted on the couch. "I was talking with Lena last night about Clark. She asked me if I ever thought about talking to him with how I felt about leaving me with the Danvers. I just don't know if that is a good idea. I don't want to put any of that on him and you know it's in the past," Kara said as she looked up at Kelly.
"Kara, I think talking about feelings even if they are from the past can help to heal you. I am sure Clark would be willing to talk and listen to what you have to say. It might not be the most pleasant conversation, but I think maybe it could help both of you out. That is only if it is something you feel comfortable doing," Kelly said.
"Yeah I guess I need to think about it a little bit," Kara said as Kelly nodded her head.
"Of course. Kara what has your sleep been like the past week?" Kelly asked.
"I haven't really slept for more than 2 or 3 hours at a time. I guess not great," Kara said.
"Okay I figured that much. Next time you wake up instead of lying in bed I want you to go out into your main room and try to draw or journal. Even read or watch tv. Just anything so that you aren't lying in bed trapped in your thoughts," Kelly said as Kara nodded her head.
"I'm sorry for calling you. I know you were probably busy," Kara said as she looked down.
"Hey, Kara I am glad you called. Okay I told you to call if you ever needed to talk so please if anything else comes up let me know," Kelly said as Kara nodded her head and the two continued to talk.
00000
Alex heard a knock on the door of her office and looked up to see Lena standing at the doorway.
"Hey, come in," Alex said as she set down the file she was looking at.
"Hey sorry, I hope I'm not interrupting anything," Lena said as she made her way into the office.
"No of course not. Just looking over some stuff. What's up?" Alex said sensing something was wrong with Lena.
"I just got done with work I figured I would stop over here to see if you were wrapping up. I talked to Kara earlier. She and Maggie were just taking Bella to the dog park for a little bit," Lena said.
"Yeah I am pretty much done," Alex said as she watched Lena go and sit over on the chair next to her desk. "Hey what's going on?" Alex asked knowing Lena wouldn't just come out and say it.
"I feel like I am letting her down Alex," Lena said as she put her head between her hands and sighed.
"What do you mean Lena?" Alex asked as she squatted down next to Lena and put a hand on her back.
"I don't know. She needs someone who is… she needs someone she can count on. I just always seem to disappoint. I don't think I am enough for her, for what she needs right now. I don't even really know what happened last night but this morning she couldn't even tell me the truth," Lena admitted.
"Hey Lena," Alex said and saw Lena was still looking down. "Hey, can you look at me please," Alex said quietly and waited for Lena's eyes to meet hers before talking again. "You are exactly what Kara needs right now. You are not a disappointment. I don't care what Lillian or anyone else says," Alex said as she brushed away a tear that came down Lena's face.
"I just I feel like I don't know what to do. I don't know how to help her," Lena said as Alex nodded her head.
"Hey I know. Okay I don't think any of us really know what the right thing is for her. What I do know is that you just being there for her is enough. She needs love right now," Alex said.
"What if that isn't enough?" Lena asked. Alex took a deep breath not really knowing how to answer that.
"It has to be Lena," Alex simply replied. "You know Kara was going through a bit of a rough patch before she met you. I mean not anything like what she is now. I can still remember the day she came over to my apartment after she met you for the first time. It was the most I had seen her smile in a long time. Lena ever since you came into Kara's life you have been her light. She is different when she is around you. Happier, almost like she can breathe easier. You have been her rock through all of this, and you have to believe when I say that" Alex said as she pulled Lena in for a hug.
"Thank you Alex. Not just for what you said but for everything. You always made me feel like family. It just… it means a lot to me," Lena said as she pulled back from the hug.
"Of course. Now let's go see our girls," Alex said as she grabbed her jacket off her desk chair and the two made their way back to the apartment.