J

We make it back to Colorado by Wednesday. And because life is meant to be lived and not chased, raced, or saved for another day … Lisa lets me drive Alice without a driver's license. She may have agreed to it while buried inside of me in the back of Alice—sandwiched between my luggage—but she kept her promise. That's all that matters.

"You don't have to carry them upstairs. I don't remember how I left my room two years ago."

Lisa ignores me, carrying my two large suitcases up the stairs while I follow her with a smaller suitcase and my backpack.

She stops at the doorway to my room. "Fuck me …" she whispers.

"That bad?" I cringe.

"Jennie …" She sets down my suitcases in slow motion.

Jeez, how bad can it be? I look around her as she blocks most of my view.

"Oh …" My teeth dig into my lower lip.

"You…" she takes a step into my bedroom "…sketched me. And painted me. A lot." With wide eyes, Lisa inspects the easels with paintings, the sketches pinned to my walls, and a few on my bed. Most are her or us. Some are my memories of our first Coachella. There are two of her dad, a handful of Alice, and one of Angelina—my favorite horse.

"You think I'm obsessed. I'm not. Well … I am, but not like you think. I just had a lot of time on my hands after I dropped out of school. If it helps my case, I was a little high when I did most of these."

"I think …" She picks one up. It's us reclined back in Alice, staring at the ceiling and holding hands.

"What? You think what? If you want to run, then run. But I'm not crazy, or a stalker, or—"

Lisa turns. "Jesus, Jennie." She shakes her head. "You're talented as fuck. You were always sketching in my office, but you kept your book tipped away from me. I just had no idea. And then you told Tzuyu about your job offer to sell exclusively to certain stores, but even then I just didn't grasp exactly …" She trails off, taking another slow glance around my room.

I hug her back, and she interlaces our fingers over her abs. "You're my favorite muse."

"I'm flattered. God, that's not the right word. I'm something beyond flattered. There's probably not even a word for what I feel right now."

"I told you I sketched and painted you. In the hotel when we were eating cold fries."

She turns in my arms, coughing out a laugh. "Yeah. I vaguely remember something, but it didn't really register with me because, as I recall, you were sitting on me naked."

"Oh! Speaking of that. If you really don't think I'm a freak, then I'll show you my private collection."

"Private collection? You mean these are not yours? Have you sold them or something?"

"No." I retrieve several sketches from the top of my closet. "When I say private, I mean private."

L

Jennie shows me a sketch book with a dozen or so sketches of me and us … naked. But not just naked, in sexual positions. I don't know how I feel about seeing myself sketched this way. She's fucking gorgeous and I'd easily get off after staring at these for a while, but I'm just a little unsure how I feel about my dick sketched in full detail. You can see a large vein.

"These are …" I flip through them. She has one of me going down on her at my house on the stairs. It's from her perspective, so I don't see her head, just her breasts and my face between her legs, eyes heavy with lust. "I don't know what to say. I feel like Rose, only I didn't ask you to sketch me."

"Rose?"

"Yes, Jack."

"Titanic?" She chuckles.

I nod, unable to peel my gaze from these sketches. I'm in shock and awe. And horny. I want her on the steps again, tasting her for the first time. "Have you shown these to anyone?" With hard effort and some pain, I make myself look away.

"They're part of my portfolio on my website, and I have a Tumblr page with them on there."

"Jesus, Jennie!" I jerk my head back. Students. Faculty. Principal Rafferty could find these.

She snorts. "You're so gullible."

Narrowing my eyes, I toss the sketchbook on the bed and step toward her.

"I don't like that look." She steps back.

"What look is that?" I say with the most eerie voice I can make.

I step forward. She steps back. Then I lunge at her, but I miss. Jennie runs out of the bedroom, squealing all the way down the stairs. I chase her through the main room, into the kitchen, and back up the steps, hooking her waist before she can shut the door on me.

"No!" She giggles as I tickle her.

I love her giggles, her smile, the shimmer of life in her blue eyes. I love that she kisses me to stop me from tickling her. I love that the kiss turns into clothes being discarded onto her bedroom floor. I love it when she says my name as I sink into her beautiful body.

"Lisa …"

And I love that when I'm inside her I feel worthy of something so much better than the life I've given myself.

"I love us, baby …" I kiss her neck, interlacing our hands above her head.

She draws her knees back more as I thrust deep into her, her breath catching for a few seconds before releasing with a small moan.

This woman … I love her in a way I still can't comprehend.

"I have to go." I try to untangle our naked bodies, but I swear she's an octopus with more than four limbs.

"Let's spend the summer in this bed. Juni and Zach will be gone for months. I'll get you access to the gate, and we can basically chill and watch Netflix all summer."

"Chill and watch Netflix?"

"Sex. That's code for sex, Ms. Manoban."

Biting her nose until she loosens her hold on me, I wriggle out of the bed. "Speaking of Ms. Manoban, I have school tomorrow."

"Boo." She sticks out her bottom lip as I step into my shorts and tug on my shirt.

"And I have a horse ranch to help run and a sick father … and I'm guessing a healthy dose of shit from my sister because I said I'd be home hours ago."

She sits up, letting her sheet fall from her chest. I tell my dick no when it decides to perk up again.

"I want to meet your sister."

"No. You don't."

"Why? Are you embarrassed of me?"

"Duh," I say in my best teenage-girl voice.

Jennie throws a pillow at me. "Your dad loves me. I'll bake up something extra special for him." She winks.

I roll my eyes, tying my shoes.

"And I'll pop in for a visit in say …" She glances at the nonexistent watch on her wrist. "An hour?"

"Hmm … shoot. That's not a good time. Maybe another day or year or like … never."

"Lisa Pranpriya Manoban!" Naked love of my life leaps from the bed, giving my dick unnecessary hope again. Penile insatiability is a real thing with Jennie in my life.

"I confessed to my dad how much I love you. I arranged dinner because I said he needs to get used to you being in my life. But now you're freezing me out of yours." She plants her hands on her naked hips.

I toss her a blanket from the bottom of her messy bed. "Cover up because I have to go."

She throws it aside. "I'm not covering up with a blanket. I'm going to get dressed and come to your house."

God! My fiery little kitten knows how to torture me.

"It's not personal, Jennie. And when my sister leaves, you can hang out with my dad all you want. But I'm serious … my sister will see how much I love you, and she will do everything in her power to strip you from my life because she thrives on my misery."

"She wants you scarred and guilted. And the greatest power she has over you is that you let her do it. You let everyone make you feel guilty."

I don't need this right now.

"You're right. I'm going to rectify that right now by not letting you make me feel guilty for not inviting you to my house to meet my sister."

After getting no further than putting on her bra and panties, she sits on the edge of the bed. "It's the Coachella curse. We're Jennie and Lisa there. We're amazing. The world doesn't matter when we're in the middle of a desert, surrounded by music. But as soon as we get home, I'm your dirty little secret."

On a loud exhale, I squat down in front of her, resting my hands on her hips. "This is my life, Jennie. And I want you in my life and not as my dirty little secret, but the fact remains that my life is not like your life. I can't take off on a private jet on a whim. I can't pretend that my father is not my responsibility. My sister didn't get wasted, high, and completely shitfaced. She wasn't the one who landed on my father at the bottom of a marble staircase. And I get it … I should forgive myself, but it won't change my father's condition. It won't change my responsibilities."

"So, I'll just never meet your sister? That's going to be our life?"

I shrug. "She rarely visits."

"Lisa …" Jennie shakes her head, pressing her palms to my cheeks. "She can't take me away from you. Not her. Not your boss. Not anyone."

"I know." I kiss her quickly and stand.

"So I'll head that way after I get something made for your dad?"

"Yep." I walk out of her room and down the hall. "After school tomorrow would be perfect."

"Lisa!"

I keep my ass moving. Everything she said is true, but I'm still not ready to let Jennie meet my sister. My Jennie high is too good. Jisoo will kill that high, then she will chip away at Jennie's love for me.

"Love you!" I call just before shutting the front door.