Want

I didn't know what to say. He didn't ask for an answer or anything from me. We stayed there without speaking a word. He continued staring at me while I tried my best in avoiding his intense onyx eyes. We heard how the people at the court called for him... and for me. We heard their cheers and laughter. It was that way for a little while until he spoke.

"I won't join the game anymore."

My brows furrowed at that. Although I find it satisfying, I don't know why I feel like I need to look mad or something.

"You won't join, too."

"I am not really planning to join. I don't drink."

"Hmm. Let's not go back, then. Let's just stay here."

I was still hearing Sorano's voice asking for me from the court. All of them knew nothing so the answer remained the same.

"We can't. We might go home soon," I said.

And as if on cue, Sorano mentioned it to the group.

"Where is Cyan? Yuki's looking for her because we're going to home home. She still has classes tomorrow, Yukino's worried for her."

I quickly moved to leave End but his fast reflexes enabled him to move his arm faster and planted it to the concrete post to stop me from leaving.

"When you got home, I still won't join them," he said before taking down his arm that was preventing me from leaving.

With an eyebrow raised, I stared at his face before speaking.

"Do what you want."

I left him there. He didn't follow me immediately so no one suspected that we were together the entire time. Sorano and Libra were bidding their good byes to the officials there while Dan kept on convincing me to try the tequila once even without the body shots. I politely declined. Because all of them were busy with our leave, I hoped no one noticed that End emerged from the direction I came from earlier.

Sorano looked at me at our eyes met. Her brow shot up and I remembered that she's really good at figuring out the details. I didn't give her another look anymore in hopes that it won't give me away.

"Where were you earlier? I thought to went out to buy something or what?"

She only asked when it was only us with Sawyer and Libra as we walked to their SUV. We were waiting for Vice Mayor as she made her way out and gave her last greeting to the guests that night.

"Just... around. I needed fresh air."

Sorano's eyes bore into me. The distance between us didn't stop her from interrogating me with her eyes. She was sitting in the front seat while I'm with Libra on the back seat. I pretended to be sleepy to avoid more questions. Though I think I won't get any sleep that night.

And that's what happened. End's words never left my mind. Now that I think about it, there's nothing grand with his words but the way he made me feel was too much. I couldn't ignore it. All of it... his words, his aura, his presence... him. It was a foreign and a different feeling. And every time I remembered the way he gripped the girl he chose that night, I still get irritated and sad despite him saying that he didn't kiss her. It was an image of something from him that is... not with me.

I didn't like it but I think it would stay etched in my mind for a long time. The day after that night, nothing occupied my mind except what happened in the Eucliffe estate.

"Mayor Eucliffe and Vice Mayor Agria's wedding is tomorrow, isn't it?" Hibiki asked.

"Yes."

"So... you'll be busy tomorrow?"

"Of course, Hibiki. Why?" I patiently asked.

"Nothing. So... it means that there'll be alcohol for the after party too?"

I slowly nodded my head, "There was, last night."

"You drink alcohol?"

I sighed, "I have no interest in it."

"Right. That's good. Drinking alcohol is not good for girls," he went on and on for his concerns.

I frowned, wanting to refute it but he quickly changed the topic. I don't drink alcohol simply because I think I won't like it. But I have no problems with girls who drink alcoholic beverages. Alcohol and beers are for people, anyway, and not just for men.

Because Sorano and Libra were busy, they asked for my help. I was told to go with Libra to the venue after my school to help with the final touches. There were people who were paid for the decoration by Mayor Eucliffe but Sorano stayed firm in being the main organizer, saying that it's her little sister's big day.

That's why, when late afternoon came, we got busy for the wedding. The little details like the flowers and the guestlists needs to be attended. Libra and Sorano were both busy with calling the sponsors for confirmation. I'm sure that even with the dress on, I'm going to bet more busy tomorrow to help them instead of watching the wedding.

Aside from it, I'm also overly pressured with the cleaning of the entire mansion. Even if it's already clean, I have this nagging feeling that it wasn't enough especially since the newlyweds would spend their first days here in Agria mansion.

It was already late at night when I finished cleaning the kitchen. That's why instead of my usual raising time which is 5, it became 7 in the morning. I was so apologetic to Libra because we've already agreed that I'll get prepared first. Vice Mayor hired a make-up artist for us but because I woke up late, Libra had to get hers done instead of our initial plan.

Their other bestfriend visited too so the make-up artist also prepared her. When it was my turn, I grew kind of nervous. It was my first time. When I was a child, when my Mama's stylist comes to our house, if not my hair, they would just prepare my dress. I was too young that time for them to touch my face.

"You're too nervous. First time?" he asked me.

"Y-Yes..."

"Really? How old are you, beauty?"

"Uh, twenty one."

"It's confusing that today's your first time. Are you Sorano's daughter or sister?"

I quickly shook my head. The brush he was holding in his hand froze in the air because of his questions.

"Oh, sorry. Cousin, then? Or niece?"

"Uh, now. I'm... uh... her working student."

He brought the brush down and placed both his wands of his waist. The other people in that room was busy with taking pictures of Vice Mayor Yukino as their family's make-up artist prepared her.

"Working student? But you're a relative of Sorano?"

"No. Uh..."

"How are you related?"

"Umm..." I couldn't think of a way to explain. I don't know why it's such a big deal, "I'm her maid here. Vice Mayor saw me when I was working in Draseal years ago and she offered me to be her working —"

"You're a maid?" he almost laughed and resumed on putting something on my face with a different brush.

I nodded and let him do his make-up. Because of that small talk, my nervousness eased a little. I wonder if he is doing that to ease my nervousness or is he just curious?

"I'm not saying anything offensive towards maids, okay? But, really, you're pretty. It's rare, that's why I'm shocked. Yo-You're not just pretty, period. You are very pretty, you'd pass as a half foreign girl or a governor's daughter..."

My eyes slightly widened at his words. He chuckled and I observed if he meant what he last said but it didn't seem so. It looks like he just randomly used that phrase.

"If you told me that you're a daughter of the Governor of Elentir or Guiltina, I would immediately believe you! I hope you have told told about how beautiful you are, right? Babe, I could sign you up with my pageants and modeling! We'll make money!"

He stopped to praise himself for his brilliant plans. I kept on shaking my head. No matter how hard I want to earn my own money, I don't think that I'll need a huge amount to finish my studies and live. I'm fine with my life now. I would eventually earn my own money after I graduate and start working. If I managed to earn enough money, I would go home to clear my name. Going out as a model or being in pageants would only cause my premature come back. I don't like that.

"Sorry, I'm fine with my work —"

"Are you sure? If you wanted to continue studying, you can still finish your studies while modeling!"

"Really, sorry. I'm contented in here —"

"I would take you to Crocus! Oh my God! I'm sure one step in that busy city, scouts would flock to you!"

"Thank you for the offer, but I really don't want to."

"You don't want to go to Crocus? There are many opportunities there. Good jobs —"

"It's not in my plans yet. I wanted to go home to our region and live there peacefully. I'm fine with my work today."

Until he finished with me, all he talked about was that which I politely kept on declining. It's nice that after I finished, a friend of Vice Mayor came so the make-up artist got busy with her and left me alone.

I started to get busy. Every order from Sorano was done by me. Though, with extra care because I am wearing a mauve-colored long dress with a tube top. When I got out, many questions greeted me.

"Miss, what did you ordered for your hair?" a distant relative of the Agrias asked.

Libra and I were on our way to the church to check it but I got interrupted. Sorano didn't want to let Vice Mayor hear any problems because she said that Vice needs to relax the whole day since it's her wedding.

"Uh, I just told them to braid it. The make-up artist did all the work..."

My blonde hair was loosely braided from the upper half of my head to the tip. Some of my bangs fell naturally on the sides while most of them were included on the big braids. The make-up artist placed some tiny flowers on each of the curve of the braid for decorations.

"Cyan, please check if the flowers for the major sponsors are complete?" Libra said.

Since then, I didn't get to notice the guests and acquaintances because I got occupied. Sorano and Libra were both very sentimental. That's why, even when Vice Mayor was walking down the isle, I didn't do anything except hand them handkerchiefs.

Even in the reception, the three of us were still busy. Especially Sorano who, as a bridesmaid, presided for the ceremony. Aside from that, there were some post-nuptial photography and videography. I needed to go with them to give waters and snacks.

It was only halfway the reception when the three of us managed to relax. We only took our seats after ensuring that everything's smooth and there were no problems anymore. Dan's eyes were on my until I took my seat.

"I've been staring at you since the reception started, Cyan. You're really gorgeous today!" he praised.

"You're exaggerating, Dan."

"It's true!" Nobarly added.

It was a very late lunch but I couldn't concentrate on my food because they were telling me things like that. If not for Sorano's parents who called Vice for a family pictures, others wouldn't think of doing it.

Dan and Nobarly were called for a picture with Mayor and his other employees. It was only when I noticed that End wasn't there with them. I searched for him but my eyes couldn't find the familiar pink hair. My eyes searched the whole venue. In the sea of hundreds of people here, it only dawned on me that I haven't seen him the whole event. Maybe I didn't because I was busy and occupied earlier but now that's I'm just sitting, I should've seen him.

I only got busy again when Sorano called me for a picture with Vice Mayor. I was there. I was with them, too, when Libra asked for a picture with the bride and the groom and her family.

Afterwards, I went back to the table. I was about to continue eating but I lost appetite. While watching the happy celebration, the thought of the foreign me in this place came back again.

Vice Mayor and her family was mingling with Mayor Sting and his whole family. It was an image of happiness and a new beginning. I am happy for them. Libra, who's happy after finishing all the preparations, was holding Orga's arm for a picture taken by a professional photographer. The relatives were now comfortably laughing to newly introduced people. The employees have their own fun event in the back of the venue. I am happy for all of them. And as I sit here, I realized how alone I am.

I was awakened upon seeing End at the venue's entrance. He wasn't even halfway through when my sight of him was quickly blocked by the flock Mayor's employees. I couldn't see him wholly.

Everyone belongs here. I don't.

I didn't know if it was because I was from from the Fiore region or if it's because I know myself that I don't have a family anymore. Thinking of any of those made me melancholic. The people who would fight for me no matter what happened no longer exist. The new found friends and people here, although I love them, I can't seem to be sure if they believe me. I wonder if they'll believe that I did the crime after knowing the reason why I'm here? Or would they later realize that they don't really know me fully. That they can't be sure if I did it or not because... after all these years... I am still a stranger.

I couldn't blame them. I chose to hide my past, after all. I chose to hide my identity so I couldn't do anything if that's how they'll see me. The important thing for me is the need to finish my studies. It is important to be credile and educated so I can eventually defend myself.

Bitterness filled me at one blow of the sea breeze. I didn't sit still with that thought in mind. I sat up and temporarily left the venue.

The white sand and the waves of the seas slowly reminded me of my last memory of the pristine waters of Magnolia. I settle down a big rock and leaned on it. The noise from the party was no longer audible as my eyes feasted on the sea that I ignored most of the time because of the memories that I didn't want to remember. As time passed, I pulled myself up to sit on the big rock. My legs were aching because of all the legwork I did that day.

Everything felt like a dream when all my thoughts vanished as End suddenly appeared in front of me. I was startled. I couldn't stop my eyes from going down to his clothes. He's wearing a tux. Dan and the others were wearing the saem attire but there was something in his clothes that screamed high-quality. Well, him and Mayor Sting were close so maybe the Mayor lend him an expensive coat. And also... he's got a nice body. He can even make ordinary t-shirts look best. What more if it's a formal tux?

"A problem?"

I almost flinched at his question. His words made me stare at his eyes. He looked as if he's weighing things through my eyes... like he's taking a peak at my soul through it. I avoided my gaze for him not to read the memories that vanished as soon as he came.

"Why did you follow me? You were having fun there."

"You're not comfortable there?" he asked curiously.

It made me more nervous. I avoided my eyes, feeling like he can still read through my expression. I shook my head. Somehow, his question and my nervousness amused me.

"Just taking a rest. I got tired from walking all day."

He sighed heavily and moved closer. Because I was sitting, I couldn't move fast especially when his body owned the small distance between us. When he put his hand just beside where I was sitting like he's declaring ownership of every space around me.

He took a step back and his eyes fell to my feet. Before I could protest, he squatted in front of me.

"W-What are you —"

I saw him untying the single strap mid high sandals that I was wearing and saw him having a hard time unstrapping it.

"Uh..." I said worriedly, "Let me do it."

Before I could actually do it, he raised his hand holding the right sandals before placing it beside me and went back to my left foot. I hide my bare foot on the back of the one with the sandals on. My face heated like fire. The feeling of the heat of his palms on my heel as he supported my foot while removing the sandals didn't help in subduing the heat on my cheeks.

"U-Uh... Thank you," I stammered.

He put the sandals beside it's pair. He stood in front of me, his body was very close, intensifying my nervousness. I feel like my heart was running for miles. Every time I see and feel the intensity of his stares, I couldn't breathe at the constriction of my chest. I feel like it's a sin to breathe his air. The result of my uneasiness was me being conscious of my breathing which just made me more uncomfortable.

"Your dress suits you. You got more beautiful," he said.

I suddenly don't know how to handle praises. If it's Dan or anyone, I would quickly say that he's a flatterer. And even if I think that End was only flattering me, I couldn't bring myself to tell that to him. Not because he was so serious when he said it to me. I also don't know why. Why is he different? Why does he have a different aura compared to other boys?

When he slowly lowered his eyes to check my dress, I froze. His eyes lifted at me smoothly like a pure playboy who is so used to doing it. I frowned as a negative thought evaded my mind again.

"Go back. Some might be looking for you, like... Aceto," I said when I found no words to say.

I remembered the way he grabbed the girl last night again. The pretty girl who's Aceto's friend. His brow lifted and amusement is etched on his eyes and lips.

"You're the one I'm looking for so I like it here more."

I almost gasped. Since last night, every time I think of him, the feeling I'm trying so hard to kill kept on getting strong. If before, I was just uncomfortable and nervous around him. Now, I have many unexplainable feelings, all are foreign to me. I couldn't name every one of those feelings. The closest feelings would be: overwhelmed, excessively nervous and excited, and panicky.

Every since we've had actual interactions, there was a sudden feeling of loss when he leaves. In the past month, even if I couldn't express that emotion through words and actions, I know that deep inside, there's a feeling of loss because of his absence. For someoe like me who's a coward of intimacy and things beyond friendship, it's a big leap to let myself admit it. But now... because of that night... I couldn't avoid it anymore.

I don't know him fully, yet. I don't know if he really has no girlfriend or wife. I just feel like he's very credible and trustworthy. But isn't that the reason why there are many girls who were left crying because of betrayal? Being too trusting and blindly holding on?

What scares me the most is my almost willingness to believe him faithfully. That fact alone, I already know that whatever this is is dangerous. I've never felt that way for someone else. For anyone else. And why will I let myself feel that way for him? I shouldn't!

If he would suddenly vanish again for an errand from the Mayor or for some important thing in his province, I'm afraid that I couldn't control the thoughts that my paranoid mind would make. Or the actions that I might do against my will. Everything is different now compared before. Everything changed just because of that night.

"I'll fetch you this Morning. What time would your classes end?"

So, he'll be here on Monday, too... and not just for the wedding.

"I'm used in taking the bus so it's fine."

"So you'll be drove home by your boyfriend —"

"I said, Hibiki's not my boyfriend!" I quickly said while looking at him.

The bitterness and restrained anger in his eyes were evident. It's a miracle that it's not coming out of his mouth.

"I won't come out of the car while I wait for you," he bargained.

I blinked, "M-Mayor Sting won't agree. He might need you for something."

"Why not? He likes it if you're fetched by the drivers because his wife feels more at ease."

"W-What if the cars are busy on Monday?"

"It won't be," he said with certainty.

I thought about it and remembered that Mayor Sting would live in the Agria estate since this day. I glanced at End. He leaned more at me, making our distance so near. I'm sweating bullets. I couldn't avoid the thought that anyone who would see us in this moment would think that we're in a relationship!

Instead of thinking about his offer, I was more immersed in the thought of us being in a relationship!

"No..." I said absentmindedly.

I'm scared of my own intense feelings and the sure and sudden end of this. Like all things,,, like everything... everything ends painfully.

"Why?" he demanded.

I don't want to get used to it. I don't want to hope for him after seeing an SUV even if he's not around. I don't want to overthink whether he'll wait for me that day or if he'll leave without a word. It was that way for a few months now. I don't want it to happen to me again. It's better to avoid it.

"When would Mayor Sting send you for an errand again? Or when are you going home to your province or whatever?" I asked, lowkey thinking about many possibilities.

He was the one who was speechless that time. He was just staring at me so I glanced again. The seriousness in his onyx orbs made me quickly look away.

"I won't leave if you wouldn't like me to."

"Tss..." I rolled my eyes because it sounds impossible, "You're always leaving... always doing something somewhere. So I don't believe you."

He shifted his weight like he was so taken-aback by what I just assumed. I saw the challenge in his eyes as if it's warning me.

"What would you do if I wouldn't leave?"

If I was nervous before, then now, I feel like having a hard attack! There's something in his challenging voice like he's really certain about. I feel like he'll do everything to prove my prejudices wrong. But I stand by my words because all these years, he always leaves. He never stayed. He returns, yes, but he would leave again.

"I don't believe you."

"You'll date me if I proved you wrong."

I stiffened. How... fast!

"I'm still not allowed to have a boyfriend. Didn't you hear Vice when she said that?"

"When are you allowed to have a boyfriend, then?"

"I don't know. Maybe... after graduation..." my lips protruded, not wanting to answer his question but was betrayed by my mouth.

"That's next year, right?" he asked with determination.

I didn't answer anymore. His intense eyes bore into me like wildfire. There is something in the depths of his eyes for me and I chose not to find out what it is. Because if I did, I might not get any sleep again overthinking about it.

"I won't ask you to give me an immediate answer, then. I'll stay when you want me here. You can just give me my title next year."

"O-Or not... I don't like you, anyway," I said, wanting to correct his statement... scared that it's wrong... that my thoughts and words were wrong.

"I'll have months to make you want me back, anyway."

I didn't say a word.

"Monday... I'll drive you home," he concluded.