Decisions, decisions, decisions
Khan had given them a compatibility test, it was simple assessments designed to find areas where the two already had a strong foundation of respect and communication and to identify areas they will need to work on. Maggie was relieved because they had to do these separately even though they were to reconvene with results later.
"Don't try to cheat or downplay thoughts and opinions to make it seem like you two are completely compatible because that will completely ignore the point of this, which is to face issues head on" those were Khan`s words to them before they started and Maggie thought of them as she continued with the test. They answered questions about what their families were like growing up and what their family dynamics are like presently. After they finished they discussed their relationships with parents, siblings, and extended family to get a better idea of how those relationships have shaped them. They also examined roles parents played in the household, all was going great and it got them to open up more.
"I hope you all get that marriage is a challenge, and an adventure at the same time. It can be very fulfilling if it's marked by kindness and love, but it is also important to remember that it is the union of two very different individuals who come from very different families and they each have their own expectations about marriage. You have both been influenced by the experiences you had in your own families and as a result you have preconceived ideas about the 'right' way to deal with different things like conflict, and most importantly what it means to love someone. So I want you two to have your own traditions, leave the grandma`s theories and start your own way of doing things because this will be a new home okay"
"So how do we maybe establish our own things before jumping into what we already know?" Jackson asked
"Yah, is there a way maybe to do that?" Maggie added
"I am glad you asked, this may sound off but it works all the time. Yes marriage might be a give and take but if you put your spouse before you all the time, you will be amazed at how it will turn out. You will find yourselves competing to out-love each other. Of course you both need to be on the same page because it won`t work if only one puts the other first while the other puts themselves first. So for me selflessness in a marriage will help in building your own home. Of course it`s not easy and it might take time but it is the best" Maggie and Jackson looked at each other as if they were agreeing with him.
"So basically selfishness doesn't work?" Jackson added
"You got that right, well this was a good day, before I forget; last time Maggie raised a question about how to handle a situation when one hides things from the other. Shall we get on that or...?"
"I think we covered that, as in you did answer my question" Maggie said taking Jackson`s hand in between hers rubbing it a little looking at him "what do you think babe?"
"Sure" Jackson answered as if he wasn't sure
"Okay, if that`s what you want but I want you to know that in as much as trust is an essential element of an intimate relationship, it can be easily broken and be hard to repair. When one partner withholds important information from the other regardless of their reasons, it is normal for them to feel betrayed, for years doing this I have come to realise that for many people any form of deceit can be a deal breaker so I am glad you two are good on that" Khan said looking down on his notepad as if scratching off some things. Maggie`s heart raced as he spoke, she kept holding on to Jackson`s hand as if letting it go meant she will never hold it again. Jackson interlocked it with hers, lifted it placing a kiss on hers.
"You okay?" he asked
"Uh huh" she said softly smiling at him prompting Khan to raise his eyes to look at them
"Well, I think that will be it for today and thank you once again for your time. He said starting to pack his things in his bag.
"Well thank you for coming all this way" Maggie said grabbing an apple from a tray that had been there.
"Well it`s the least I could do, so how are the preparations going?"
"Well, we haven't even started, we seem to have a lot going and time is a scarce commodity for a doctor`s life as you would understand" Jackson answered as they all stood up to head out making Maggie to let out a little chuckle nodding her head.
"You got to make time for what you consider important in your life otherwise time is never enough. You two enjoy the rest of your day" he said shaking their hands walking away. Jackson put his hand over Maggie`s shoulder as they walked down the hallway
"That was good, so are we going to be selfless and build our own traditions?" Jackson asked looking down at her
"You know I am down for some competition so I am game" Maggie said looking up at him
"Oh really, how about we do a late lunch? I got a surprise for you waiting in your lab"
"Wow, someone already getting a head start on this"
"Asked Parker to do something for me so you can say I am winning already" Jackson said with a smirk
"Babe, residents are not here to run attending errands, they are here to learn" she said smiling at him
"To you maybe but residents are here to do what attending tell them to do, besides I used to pick up laundry for my attending so this is..."
Dr Avery to the ER Dr Avery to the ER
"Oh come on, I was hoping to have lunch with you because you left early this morning" he said stopping taking her face in his hand
"Well, you are being paged so that`s no longer an option" she said with a smile as she held onto his hand. He pulled her into the nearest supply closet and started kissing her but his pager went off.
"Oh come on!" he mourned as he broke off from the kiss looking at his pager "I have to go"
"That`s okay" she said standing on her tippy toes to give him a little peck, he looked at her with those piercing eyes which made Maggie to shake her head blushing uncontrollably; he then planted a kiss on her forehead and walked towards the door.
"Hey" Maggie called before he could open the door "you also got to eat" she said walking towards him handing him her apple and some candy that she had in her pockets.
"Thanks babe, I see someone`s winning this round already" he said with a smile taking the apple from her while Maggie shrugged her shoulders like a little girl and said "I was born a winner"
"I will see you later" he shook his head kissing her forehead one more time before heading out the door.
…..
Maggie was now in her lab when Amelia and Meredith walked in,
"Hey, what`s going on?" Amelia asked looking all over the place
"What ya got there?" Meredith asked looking at the takeout bags on her desk
"Well, Jackson wanted to get me lunch, but he couldn't decide, so he got enchiladas with no cilantro, spaghetti with no meatballs, and Cobb salad with no blue cheese"
"I just ate, but I won`t say no to a bit of that salad" Meredith said pointing at the salad taking a seat across Maggie.
"Wow, what did you do to deserve this?" Amelia said grabbing the spaghetti bag seating next to Meredith
"Nothing" Maggie shrugged her shoulders taking the food out of the bags
"Well, you did surprise him for his nomination so that`s something" Amelia said while Maggie rolled her eyes taking a sip of orange juice that was in front of her
"Either that or the sex is too good" Meredith said making Maggie to almost choke nearly spilling the whole juice on her self
"Uh -huh, so it is sex" Amelia took the spaghetti out of the bag placing it on the table. Maggie was trying so hard to ignore her, she cleaned herself with a napkin and that made Amelia to cross her legs and towards Maggie with her elbows on the desk "trust me I know what good sex can do to one`s brain"
"Amelia! Stop talking please!" she said pushing the salad towards Meredith
"It sure is, she flew all the way to SF to surprise him being on the cover can you imagine" Meredith said to Amelia
"What!"Amelia exclaimed taking her elbows off the table looking at Meredith who just nodded her head with a silly grrin on her face "I actually thought she had just gone to pick him up with Catherine" she turned and looked at Maggie and spoke in silly inquisitive voice "well, spill sister, how did you surprise him?" as she took a mouthful of spaghetti into her mouth.
"I gave him head" Maggie said confidently with a little smirk "In his office" she continued stunning Meredith who remained speechless as if she had just seen a ghost on her sister`s face "what, you guys asked"
"Oh my, look at you" Amelia said like a proud auntie "now all this makes sense but wait, he has an office in Stanford, talk about levels"
"A massive one, with a closet in it"
"Well, please continue giving him all the good sex, I could get used to these types of lunch every, this salad is so yummy" Meredith finally spoke making the sisters to laugh "on a serious note though, you still need to talk to him"
"Trust me I know" Maggie said in a low voice "after today`s session I have no other choice but to do that. I don`t think I will accept though so I don`t know if it`s necessary to tell him" "
"It is, trust me" Meredith said "but are you sure that is what you want?"
"She kind of has a point; you need to talk to him. This is a huge opportunity for you, are you sure you want to give it up?"
"I mean, I don`t know, all I know right now is I can't eat my cake and have it too" Maggie said rubbing her temples.
"Then talk to him because there is a difference between doing what you want and doing what you think is right" Meredith said "you need to figure out which one is more important to you and take it from there"
"I will talk to him tonight, I just wish it was as simple as deciding what`s for dinner"
"Great" Meredith`s pager went off so she dashed out.
"Hey, whatever you decide, we will support you" Amelia said as they continued eating. Maggie texted Jackson letting him know that they indeed needed to talk. They continued chatting for a while until they were both paged to the ER.
…
Maggie walked inside the penthouse, her case had gotten complicated and it was a little later than her normal knock off. He had made dinner but Maggie wasn't that hungry seeing she had a late lunch. She knew that the conversation was going to be tough, she hadn't exactly made a decision but she needed to have the conversation with him. She made her way to the kitchen and poured herself a glass of water sitting on the island, Jackson walked downstairs after finishing his shower, he gave her a small kiss and went on to pour himself a cup of coffee placing it on the counter
"Coffee this late" Maggie asked looking at him
"Yeah, I kind of want to push on a few things, it's going to be a late night for me" he said hugging her tightly from behind placing kisses on top of her head
"Is Harriet asleep?"
"No, she is at my mum`s"
"Good, I was hoping maybe we could talk" Jackson moved away sensing the urgency in her voice
"Sure" he said taking a seat next to her "you okay, you look exhausted?"
"I am okay, just got this weird patient that I can`t figure out what is wrong with her"
"I am sure you will figure it out, so what is it you wanted to talk about, is everything okay?" he asked anxiously
"So yesterday I got some news from Bailey" she said turning to face his direction so they were now facing each other
"Okay"
"A team of Israeli researchers has "printed" the world's first 3-D vascularised, engineered heart, the heart was made using a patient's own cells and biological material"
"Wow, that is amazing because until now, scientists have successfully printed only simple tissues without blood vessels"
"Yeah, this is the first time anyone anywhere has successfully engineered and printed an entire heart replete with cells, blood vessels, ventricles and chambers. People have managed to 3D-print the structure of a heart in the past, but not with cells or with blood vessels" Maggie said expressing excitement.
"I get it, this was why Yang left actually, she was hoping to do that at some point"
"Jackson, their results demonstrate the potential of their approach for engineering personalized tissue and organ replacement in the future but at this stage, the 3-D heart produced is sized for a rabbit, so you know..."
"This means that larger human hearts could be produced using the same technology" Jackson interjected her making her to smile broadly
"Yeah, but" she paused starting to rub her hands together "right now the next step is to teach the hearts to behave like human hearts. First, they will transplant them into animals and eventually into humans. The hope is that within 10 years, there will be organ printers in the finest hospitals around the world, and these procedures will be conducted routinely"
"Okay" Jackson said encouraging her to go further; he noticed that she was getting less excited as she continued. He looked at her eyes but Maggie kept her gaze away from his still rubbing her hands.
"The lead researcher wants a team and he requested top cardio surgeons all over the world, mostly young ones since this is a long term project so, the American Board of Thoracic Surgery recommended a few names and all I know is I am one of the two they selected from U.S" she then turned away facing the counter, she stole a glance at him before saying "they actually want me, they want me Jackson"
"Wow, babe this is amazing, I mean this is it" he said pulling his chair towards her putting his hand on her back rubbing it a little while looking at her "why am I sensing a doubt in all this because we both know you can do this?"
"That`s because I will need to be based in London, that is where all this will be happening. Basically I will have to be between Chicago and London depending on the situation and will also be travelling a lot" Jackson`s eyes dropped because he knew from her response that this was not as simple as he thought.
"Wow, when is all this supposedly happening?" he asked taking his hand away from her placing it on his lap while resting the other elbow on the counter scratching his head a little
"They want my answer by the end of July and if I accept I will have to go to Israel from September for about two months" Maggie was now avoiding looking at him; she kept stealing glances at him while hoping she wouldn't meet his eyes.
"Wait a minute, when exactly did you find out about this?" he said sternly looking at her
"I have known about the research for some time but the fact that they want me to be a part of it, only yesterday, Bailey told me at the party. I got more info about it today; actually someone came to the hospital this morning to talk to me about it. That is why I left early" she said softly
"So what have you decided, are you going to take it?" he asked not sure if he wanted to hear that answer
"I don`t know, Jackson this is a huge opportunity and this is basically what cardiothoracic surgery is all about. I might never get another opportunity like this if I let it pass" she said looking at him, he was now softly tapping the counter with his fingers "but we both know that I can`t" Maggie said walking to the fridge to pour herself some more water.
"What do you mean you can`t?" his eyes followed her every step
"Because taking it will-" she paused looking at him trying to read his face, he had a little scowl in between his eyes and she couldn't put a read on it "I am not taking it so let`s just forget about it okay" she opened the fridge getting the water bottle making her way to her seat again.
"Taking it will what? And what about your rechargeable hearts?"
"They said I have an option to keep it; they can get me a team if I want, they are willing to help in any way possible but I must understand that my priority will be the 3D hearts. I was actually thinking maybe Steve could take the lead on that because he has been doing amazing things with it down in Yemen so either way my own work will still continue and I can still do it if I want"
"Steve?" he asked raising his eyebrow
"Yeah, Steve from med-school, he is in Yemen, he says despite the ongoing civil war that side, they are not strict with clinical trials and he has a few patients already using the device" she said getting a little excited again
"Oh, so you have thought about taking it?"
"What?" Maggie exclaimed, she was shocked because she hadn't said she was thinking about it
"Is that why you were pissed at my mum for telling everyone the wedding date?" Jackson asked calmly "I mean it makes sense, you knew you had to be in Israel at that time so..."
"What are you even on about? I just said I am not taking it"
"Are you sure about that? Maggie you already have plans with some guy named Steve who I don`t know taking over your project. I was going on and on about planning our wedding yesterday, you were so cold each time I mentioned it, little did I know you were already checked out" Maggie said nothing as she looked firmly at him because she couldn't believe his words.
"Firstly you don`t need to be jealous of Steve because that is very unattractive, yes he was my first crush but he is gay, secondly I haven't had a chance to tell you about my rechargeable hearts because I wanted you to fully support you while you do your spray on skin. I didn't tell you this yesterday because I wanted yesterday to be about you, I wanted you to celebrate your nomination. I honestly thought you would know me better by now to even think like that, don`t you think this is hard for me too?"
"You tell me, how should I know? I am not the one already making plans" Jackson said
"Oh my god, we clearly can`t have this discussion right now so I am going to take a shower" Maggie said getting off the chair but he held her hand to stop her.
"This isn't a discussion, your words are contradicting your actions, you are saying you are not taking it but you already made plans for taking it. Tell me this babe, what are your plans if you don`t take it?" Maggie opened her mouth but no words came out and that was enough for Jackson. He let go of her hand but surprisingly she didn't move. He stood up and put his cup in the sink, he then heard her speak.
"The reason I am not taking it is because I know I can`t have it both ways, I know that taking this will mean giving up on us and that is not something I want. The honest truth is I don`t know anything, all I know is I love you and I don`t want to lose us, that is all that I know right now and it`s important that you know that" she said with her eyes getting a little teary.
"Maggie I can`t be the guy who stops you from following your dreams, I love you too much to let you give all that up for me, I will not be responsible for that. I don`t want you to resent me down the line so I think we both know what this means" he said as he stood by the sink wiping his hands
"So what are you saying, what does that even mean?" she said rubbing a little tear that had fallen on her cheek. He slowly moved towards her and stood in front of her as their eyes interlocked.
"Maggie, I think we both know what this means" he said placing a kiss on her forehead rubbing her cheek softly. He then walked to the key cabinet and took his bat mobile keys and said "I am going for a drive"