The silence in Cid's office was broken only by the ticking of the clock on his desk and the skritch of his pen across the paper in front of him. He'd acknowledged Quistis' entrance with a nod, then resumed his work. For what felt like an eternity, Quistis stood at attention, holding a folder containing her resignation letter and waiting to receive her punishment for going AWOL to meet with Dr. Mohren in Esthar.
Finally, Cid laid down his pen, folded his hands, and looked at her. "At ease, Trepe," he said. "I assume you know why I called you here."
"Yes, sir."
"You have committed a very serious offense. Going absent without approved leave, abandoning your post, neglecting your duties… I understand that in peacetime, the significance of these actions is not immediately apparent, but it is vital to the security and continued operation of Garden that our students, employees, and SeeDs do not develop habits that could result in tragedy during conflict."
"Understood, sir."
"The minimum punishment for this infraction is a five-rank demotion and the forfeiture of one month's pay. Since this is your first offense, and your record of conduct with Balamb Garden is otherwise pristine, that is what you will receive. Do I make myself clear?"
"Yes, sir."
"Dismissed."
"Excuse me, sir," Quistis ventured, removing the letter from the folder. "Before I go, I would like to present you this letter—"
"I have no interest in your excuses, Quistis, no matter how eloquently you may word them."
"This isn't an excuse, sir. This letter serves as notification of my resignation from Balamb Garden, effective in two weeks' time." She approached Cid's desk and slid the letter toward him.
Cid read the letter and frowned, then adjusted his glasses and read it again. Quistis watched his brows draw together and his jaw set, watched his eyes scan the lines—quickly, then very slowly—searching for any flaw, or some sign that this might be an elaborate hoax, a ploy for clemency. Then, finding nothing of the sort, Cid gave a weary sigh and faced Quistis again with an expression that gave no indication of what he might be thinking.
"Let me begin," he said, "by congratulating you on your new job with Odine Laboratories."
"Thank you, sir."
"And I appreciate your providing an official notice of resignation within the appropriate time frame. It's never easy to replace a high-ranking SeeD, especially one with a work history like yours. But we'll manage."
"I'm sure you will, sir."
"With this letter, you are officially terminating your relationship with Balamb Garden. Garden's services and protection will no longer be available to you after your resignation. Should you encounter trouble, or should your new situation not pan out, you cannot appeal to Garden for assistance. Understood?"
"Yes, sir. I understand the risks involved with leaving Garden, and I am willing to take them."
"In that case, I don't think much more needs to be said. You will continue working in your assigned position until the date specified in the letter, and until that date, your punishment will remain in effect. Garden will deduct the equivalent of two weeks' pay from your account to cover the difference. Good luck, Quistis, in your new endeavor." He pushed a button on the intercom on his desk. "Xu, please prepare the exit paperwork for Quistis. Trepe, you are dismissed."
Quistis saluted, then walked out of his office and stood beside Xu's desk. Xu was rummaging through a tall file cabinet, pulling up folders and shaking her head, searching for the appropriate paperwork. She glanced over her shoulder and noticed Quistis.
"So, how did it go in there?" she asked, procuring two forms and sitting down to pull up the rest on her computer.
"About as well as could be expected," Quistis replied.
"I guess Cid can't say anything in the face of a resignation letter. What about your punishment?"
"A five-rank demotion and the forfeiture of one month's pay."
"The minimum."
Quistis shrugged. "Credit for good behavior."
Xu struck a few keys and sent the forms to the printer. "It doesn't bother you at all, does it?"
"No, considering my time here is limited. Should it?"
"I don't know. It would bother me a lot. I worked my ass off to reach and retain Rank 30; seeing Rank 25 printed on my discharge papers would be hard to stomach, especially if it's the result of a stupid decision on my part."
"I'm not pursuing a military career. What bearing does my SeeD rank have on the rest of my life?"
"None, I suppose, other than being a point of pride." Xu collected the forms and stapled them together. "I thought you still had that, at least."
"I do. But it seems our definitions of it vary."
"That seems to be the case for a lot of things these days. It's strange… you were only gone six months, but it's like you came back as an entirely different person. It's like Garden life could never satisfy you anymore."
"You're right, but I felt that way long before I took my sabbatical. I didn't voice my feelings or act on them, simply because I couldn't think of any alternative to being a SeeD." Quistis took the papers from Xu and thumbed through them. "I am grateful to Balamb Garden, for taking me in when no one else wanted me, and for giving me a decent education and a job that has left me financially secure. But even when things were going well here, I couldn't help but feel that I was missing something… a part of myself.
"I enjoy learning new things, a variety of things, and I enjoy asking questions and searching for answers. But, by its nature, Garden's encouragement of such pursuits is limited, and I think I adapted to my environment and limited myself. During my sabbatical, however, I was able to give my curiosity free rein, to ask questions and find answers, to learn more about who I am and how my powers work. That knowledge gave me an anchor, not just among SeeDs or blue mages, but in the wider world. It gave me a sense of where I might belong."
Xu groaned and rubbed her eyes. "Maybe I'm being selfish," she said, "but I just don't know how I feel about this. On one hand, I'm very happy for you, and I admire you. What you're doing takes guts. On the other hand, I can't help feeling… discarded."
"Xu, you know that's not—"
"I know. But knowing doesn't help. We've been friends for years, we've been through so much together, I just kind of figured we'd stay that way. This sounds incredibly stupid, but I feel like I'm losing you to Esthar, to the people you've met there. I feel like I lost a battle that was never there to fight."
For a while, neither of them spoke. Xu's lack of enthusiasm was due to a fear she could barely bring herself to admit, a fear that really hadn't occurred to Quistis. Quistis never imagined that growing close to Argider and Retta would make Xu feel outcompeted; each individual occupied a different space in her heart. Perhaps if Xu could meet them, see why Quistis liked them and how they did not crowd her out of Quistis' affections, she might not feel so bad. Perhaps…
"After my last day of work, I have forty-eight hours to clear out of my dorm room, correct?" Quistis said.
"That's right."
"And during that time, I am still considered a member of Balamb Garden, and entitled to its services."
"Limited services, but yes."
"Does transportation fall under that category?"
"That depends." Xu crossed her arms on the desk and leaned forward. "What are you up to?"
"Would you be interested in helping me move into my apartment in Esthar? Maybe if you saw where I'm going to live, maybe if you met Argider and Retta, you wouldn't feel so threatened."
"So, something like we did before your sabbatical? I assume you'll want the other two ladies to join us, as well."
"More people get the job done more quickly."
"Transportation is definitely a murky issue, but let me work on this request. I may have to fudge a detail or two, but I think I can get Cid's approval." Xu smiled. "Thank you for the invitation, Quistis. It might not change anything, but at least I can give you a proper sendoff. And judging from the previous time, it should be an amusing evening."
"Indeed, considering the company involved."
"Listen, if you breathe so much as a hint of what I'm about to say to Tilmitt or Heartilly—but especially Tilmitt—I will hunt you down and rip your vocal cords out, but I actually enjoyed myself the last time we were all over there." Xu, still smiling, looked back to her computer and waved Quistis away. "Now, get out of here so I can draft this request!"
⁂
The next two weeks passed quickly. Days after presenting her letter of resignation to Cid, Quistis traveled to Esthar to meet with Retta's friend to view available apartments. She decided on one in a quiet neighborhood at the edge of the city center that offered a balance between the vibrancy of the older neighborhoods she had come to love and an easy commute to Odine Laboratories.
The following weekend, she returned to furnish her new apartment. She was incredibly selective, visiting several stores and refusing to purchase anything that she did not love, regardless of necessity. She'd never had the opportunity to furnish her own space, and she was willing to spend the time and money necessary to get it just right. Retta volunteered to accept deliveries on her behalf while she finished up her final week at Balamb Garden, so Quistis left the spare apartment key with her and coordinated deliveries around Retta's work schedule.
She returned to Garden exhausted, but eager to make it through her remaining days there and begin building her life in Esthar. She told this to Argider during a video call a few nights before her final departure from Balamb Garden.
"I can imagine," he said. "I'm pretty eager for you to arrive here, too. You're coming in Saturday, right? Do you know what time yet?"
"At about 1400 hours, give or take a half-hour for loading."
"Do you have a lot of luggage?"
"Ten boxes, one suitcase. And my friends' overnight bags."
"I assume you're hiring two cars, then."
"I plan to. Why is this so important to you?"
Argider smiled. "You wouldn't mind a handsome, totally enamored man offering his service as a driver, would you?"
"Who in the world are you talking about?" Quistis responded, unable to keep the laughter out of her voice.
"What about a nerdy librarian who is still totally enamored and ready to help you finish taking a big step in your life?"
"That would be wonderful. Perhaps this man wouldn't mind sticking around for the rest of the day?"
"The lady needn't ask."
"Don't set your expectations too high. My friends will be there, too."
Argider shrugged. "Not a problem. I can behave myself for a day." His smile became mischievous. "Especially knowing there are plenty of days ahead when I won't have to."
Quistis blushed and responded with a suggestive comment of her own. Their conversation far outlasted any pertinent information they had for one another, but left Quistis feeling lighthearted and refreshed, and even more enthusiastic about beginning this new chapter in her life.
When the day of departure came, Zell and Squall joined Xu, Selphie, and Rinoa in helping Quistis load her luggage into the airship. As Selphie began her pre-flight inspection, Quistis placed the final box in the cargo hold and watched Zell secure the hatch.
"Man, I still can't believe it," he said, double-checking the locks. "You're actually leaving Garden. I'll admit, I thought Selphie was joking when she told me, and I even doubted Rinoa. But Xu doesn't mess around, so when she said it was true… heh." He rubbed the back of his head. "I'm gonna miss ya! Who else will be the voice of reason around here?"
"Thank you, Zell. I'm going to miss you, too. But Squall and Xu are still here to keep things running smoothly."
"Yeah, but who'll be the voice of reason with a heart? Neither of those two would get me medicine from Dr. Kadowaki's office at three in the morning after I've eaten too many hot dogs, and without a lecture, even!" He shook her hand. "So, thanks for all you've done. You take care, and tell Argider he'd better treat you good, or he'll have to answer to these fists o' mine!"
Quistis smiled. "I will, and I'll be sure to pass your message along to Argider."
Zell saluted. "Have a safe trip, Quistis. 'Til later!" He noticed Squall approaching and stepped aside before Quistis could return the salute.
Quistis could tell Squall felt awkward. His arms hung at his sides and he kept his eyes down, scanning the ground as if he was searching for something. She noticed Rinoa hovering behind him, clutching the rings on her necklace and biting her lower lip.
"Zell pretty much spoke for all of us," Squall began, "when he said he couldn't believe you're leaving. He's also right to know that neither Xu nor I will pamper him the way you did. He'll just have to learn to deal with solid reason from now on. And permanent T-Board confiscation." He looked over his shoulder at Zell, who winced, then gave a sheepish grin. Standing next to Zell, Rinoa put her hands on her hips and shook her head, then gestured toward Quistis.
"It's going to be strange not having you around," Squall went on. "You've always been one of the few cool-headed, competent people here. Your advice has always been useful. And you're one hell of a card player." He smiled. "Maybe I didn't say this enough, but thank you. I didn't mean to seem ungrateful, I just assumed you knew. But, according to Rinoa, people apparently need to hear things spoken. So, thank you, again, for being a mentor and… and a good friend." He saluted.
Quistis returned the salute. Her relationship with Squall had been confusing, and there had been some painful interactions between them, but also a measure of respect. In the years since they worked together to save the world, they had both matured, and with Rinoa's influence, Squall had become, if not more sensitive, then at least more aware of how his words and actions might affect others. The friendship between him and Quistis became more easygoing, built on practical, straightforward conversations and battle-forged camaraderie.
"You're welcome," she said. "Take care of things here, and take care of Rinoa."
"I will. On both counts, I will." He turned and walked toward the exit, weathering an affectionate ambush from Rinoa as he passed her.
"All right," said Selphie, walking up from the back of the airship and crossing off the last item on her inspection list, "the ship is ready to go! Question is, are you?"
Quistis looked around the hangar, at the SeeD insignia adorning the sides of the airships and the banners that hung from the ceiling, and nodded.
"Absolutely," she said.
⁂
Argider spotted Quistis as she exited the terminal, and waved her over. Quistis led her little group to where he was waiting, noticing along the way that Selphie had grown significantly less animated and strangely quiet.
Argider greeted Quistis with a light kiss. "Welcome back," he said, then dropped something into her palm. "Retta asked me to return this for her. The key to your domain."
"A very tiny domain," Quistis said with a laugh.
"But yours, nonetheless."
"Not technically. According to the lease—" Argider interrupted her with another quick kiss. "All right, it's my domain."
Xu cleared her throat, reminding Quistis that the world around herself and Argider still existed. Quistis glanced over her shoulder at her friends and saw Xu impatiently tapping her foot, arms crossed over her chest, Rinoa grinning impishly, and Selphie gawking at Argider.
"Your loyal subjects?" Argider asked.
"My most trusted advisors and dearest friends," Quistis corrected him. "Allow me to introduce you."
As Quistis did so, Argider grinned and extended his hand, and received three very different responses. Xu gave him a cold smile and a short, firm, handshake; Rinoa was warm and cordial. Selphie, meanwhile, accepted his hand with a husky, awkward laugh, and held onto it a few seconds longer than necessary.
"You'll have to excuse Selphie," Quistis said, recalling Selphie's slack-jawed, starry-eyed reaction to meeting Laguna for the first time. "She's easily awestruck."
"I know the feeling," Argider replied. "I've felt that way for the better part of a year, now." He winked at Quistis, then turned back toward the others.
"All right," he said, "now that introductions are out of the way, let's get Quistis home. Where's the luggage cart?"
"I instructed the terminal crew to take it directly to the pick-up area," Xu said. "We have a hired car waiting there."
"Great! I'll bring the other car around and meet you there."
Quistis watched him walk toward the exit, smiling, but her smile faded when she saw Xu's expression. Xu scowled, forehead creased and one eyebrow raised, in a mixture of perplexity and distaste.
"Really?" she said to Quistis, then pushed past her and started for the exit herself.
Estharian cars were not large. Even with the luggage divided evenly between both vehicles, Quistis watched her friends squabble and negotiate their spaces inside the hired vehicle.
"We still have room in this car," she offered. "Enough for about two boxes, or one person, if anyone would like to join us."
She was met with blank stares.
"Aw, come on, nobody wants to be a third wheel?" Argider asked, accepting a box from Rinoa. "Selphie?"
Selphie giggled awkwardly again, then thrust a box into Quistis' hands and scampered back to the other car.
"Guess not."
When they reached Quistis' apartment building, Argider pulled up to the front entrance, instead of heading into the parking garage. Quistis frowned.
"This isn't a designated parking spot," she said.
"I know," he answered.
"Then why did you stop? I'm sure other cars won't appreciate us blocking traffic while we unload the boxes."
"I know that, too. I'm going to pull into the garage for that. But I thought you'd like to go ahead and do the honors, head up and open your home to the rest of us."
"I can't do that! I have to carry my share."
"You can take your suitcase. And you can help with whatever's left after our first trip."
Quistis narrowed her eyes. "You're up to something."
"Maybe."
"There's something in the apartment, isn't there?"
Argider shrugged.
"Not something that will startle me, I hope?"
"Of course not! It's nothing more than a sentimental trinket. I asked Retta to leave it there when she dropped off the gift she got you."
Quistis raised her eyebrows and glanced toward the building.
"I know that look," Argider went on, grinning. "You're dying to find out what's up there. Go on, then! I'll help the others with the boxes. Besides, I want to see if I can finally get Selphie to actually say something."
"We can't seem to get her to stop," said Quistis, removing her suitcase from the back seat, "so be careful what you wish for."
"Duly noted."
Quistis slid the key into the door of her eighth-floor apartment and chuckled to herself. As calm as she pretended to be, she was eager to see her apartment now that it was furnished. She'd given Retta general instructions regarding the placement of the furniture, but left the details up to her. Quistis stepped through the doorway and flicked on the light.
The apartment looked so inviting, from the couch in the living room to the small metal table in the dining room—as close a model as Quistis could find to the one she'd fallen in love with at her previous apartment. A few prints on the walls gave the apartment some color, and a large wooden bookcase stood against one wall, waiting to be filled.
Upon closer inspection of the bookcase, Quistis noticed several objects on the middle shelf. One was a large woven basket, stuffed full of food and small household items—a pair of potholders, a tiny toolkit—and bearing a card written in Retta's hand. "Welcome home," it read, followed by the signatures of Retta and Haren, and the juvenile scrawls of their two sons. Quistis smiled at the note and investigated the contents of the basket for a while, then turned her attention to the other object on the shelf, a small blue box.
She lifted the lid to find a glass figurine nestled on a bed of cotton. Clear, with swirls of bright orange, the glass had been worked into the shape of a cat. Quistis picked up the tiny likeness of Wilbur, and noticed that it included a portion of Wilbur's blue harness on its back, complete with a slip of paper rolled-up and tucked through the loop. Curious, Quistis removed the paper and unrolled it to find a note in Argider's handwriting:
Retta may have beaten me to it, but I want to welcome you home, myself. I can't tell you enough how happy I am that you're here, and that you've found a job suited to your talents. I love you and I'm so proud of you. What a journey these past months have been, and I'm honored to have taken, and continue to take, it with you.
- Argider
Quistis released the ends of the note, allowing it to curl up again, and pressed the roll to her heart. She looked at the little cat in her other hand, feeling the chill glass begin to warm against her palm. It was a sentimental trinket, as Argider said, but he was wrong when he said it was nothing more. It was so much more—appreciation for the past, hope for the future, a reminder of the serendipitous moment that set her life on a new course she could never have imagined.
She placed the figurine on a shelf and walked to the door when she heard the others approaching. She was relieved to hear Selphie speaking normally again, apparently coaxed into coherence by—from what Quistis could gather—a discussion about food. The small group shuffled inside, set down their boxes and bags, and began looking around.
"Wow, Quisty! This is bigger than your last apartment," Selphie said, running to the balcony. "And the balcony is huge!"
Xu nodded in approval.
Rinoa agreed with Selphie and finished untangling herself from the shoulder straps of the duffel bags she carried. She gravitated toward the bookcase, admiring it. "This is impressive," she said. "How long do you think it'll take to fill?"
"Probably a year or two," Quistis answered, "helped along by the textbooks I'll be purchasing."
"And what are these? Housewarming gifts? How sweet!" Rinoa lifted the glass figurine. "Aw, how cute! A kitty with a backpack."
"That's Wilbur." Quistis explained Wilbur's role, pointing out the harness on his back and Argider's note stuck through the loop.
"Honestly," Xu said, walking over and taking the cat from Rinoa. "Where do you come up with these stories?"
"She didn't come up with it," Argider said. "Wilbur's real. And pretty special to both of us."
"What do you mean?"
"He's the reason Argider and I met, and how I found the library in the first place." Quistis reclaimed the figure and told the story of that day, from spotting Wilbur on the skyway to discovering the blue magic section in the library, sparing no detail about her ordeal in between. She watched Xu's and Rinoa's expressions change, from amusement, to horror, to exasperation and dreamy sentimentality, respectively.
"You're lucky that man saw you outside the library," said Xu, "or your little escapade could have ended very badly."
"Well, I think it's lovely," Rinoa added, "especially because it ended well. Wilbur was like a little agent of fate that day!"
"Quisty, you're neighbor has the coolest-looking cat!" Selphie bounded into the living room from the balcony. "It's fluffy and white with these neat mark—what, what? Did I miss something?"
Rinoa and Xu offered contradictory answers, and Rinoa promised to fill Selphie in while they collected the remaining luggage. When Quistis moved to join them, Rinoa stopped her.
"It's okay," she said, "we can handle the rest. You two stay here. Talk about Wilbur." She winked and ushered a very confused Selphie out the door.
"So, about Wilbur…" Argider ambled to where Quistis stood.
"It's beautiful, and I love it." Quistis replaced the figurine on the shelf, then hugged Argider tightly. "Thank you."
He held her close, running a hand along her back, and sighed into her hair. "Welcome home."
⁂
After spending the afternoon unpacking boxes and settling into the apartment, Quistis and the others joined Retta and Haren for dinner. After a round of her usual teasing, Retta did her best to give each person at the table her attention, and to learn as much about Quistis' friends as she could in the space of a single meal.
Haren, on the other hand, was thrilled to learn that Selphie had piloted the Ragnarok, and promptly monopolized her time with questions about the mechanics and logistics of it all. Selphie, equally thrilled to be the recipient of so much attention, particularly for her aeronautical accomplishments, eagerly answered his every question and expounded on her answers with choice bits of trivia. When Retta mentioned that it was a shame her sons had not been able to meet Selphie, Selphie responded by scrawling her name across a scrap of paper and offering Retta her autograph.
It was a convivial evening, full of laughter and good conversation, and even Xu appeared to warm up to Quistis' Estharian friends after a while. Argider bid them good night after dinner, and the four women headed back to Quistis' apartment. Selphie was the first to retire; apparently exhausted from the excitement of the day, she crawled into her sleeping bag without even changing into her pajamas first, and was asleep within minutes. Rinoa followed soon afterward, leaving Quistis and Xu with a few hours of precious silence.
At a quarter of midnight, Xu sat at the kitchen table, across from Quistis, and stirred the heat out of the coffee in the cup before her.
"I wanted to hate him," she said flatly, suddenly. Quistis looked up.
"I really did," Xu went on. "And he made it very easy to from the start. He's loud, he's annoying, he's incredibly silly. Honestly, if we hadn't verified his credentials, you wouldn't have been able to convince me that this is the same man. The way you spoke of him, I was expecting someone serious and refined." She snorted. "What a surprise."
Quistis said nothing, and dropped her gaze to her own coffee cup.
"But then I saw the way he looks at you. The way he treats you. The way you two speak to each other, and how he brings out a side of you I never even knew you had. I saw how happy he makes you. And that's what's important." Xu's voice hitched strangely in the middle of her last sentence, and she cleared her throat before continuing. "Mind you, I don't think I can ever like him. He's essentially the male version of Heartilly. But, for once, my opinion doesn't matter, and I want you to understand that. Meeting him was the best thing that had happened to you in a long time, and it set into motion a lot of other good things for you. All I wanted to know was that he could take care of my best friend, and, from what I saw today, I think I can trust him to."
Quistis glanced up again, and saw Xu smiling at her, blinking rapidly but unable to hold back a few rogue tears. She took Xu's hand.
"Thank you," she said. "Thank you for understanding, and for being such a good friend."
Xu laughed and sniffled. "But if he ever does anything to hurt you, you call me right away, and I will be more than happy to fly over here and kick his ass."
"You'd probably have to beat Retta to that."
"I like Retta. I know she'll take care of you."
"And so will Argider. Not that I need to be taken care of in the first place."
Xu cocked an eyebrow.
"But it's nice to know someone will be there in the unlikely event that I do," Quistis acquiesced. "And you can trust Argider to be that person. At the very least, you can trust my judgment."
"After your story about the cat and heat exhaustion, it's easier to just trust Argider himself!"
The two women laughed, and, as the stillness of midnight descended around them, they squeezed each other's hand in a wordless farewell.
⁂
The doors of Odine Laboratories slid open, revealing a long vestibule and, beyond, a pristine lobby. Quistis approached the receptionist at the front desk and introduced herself, presenting the identification badge she'd received during her visit with Dr. Mohren. The receptionist smiled and asked her to take a seat, then called Dr. Devres.
Not long afterward, Dr. Devres stepped out of an elevator and approached Quistis. "Good morning, Ms. Trepe," he said. "How are you today?"
"I'm doing well, doctor. And yourself?"
"Oh, splendid! We have several large projects ongoing in the blue magic department, and that has kept me on my toes. But I also think it keeps me young. My wife asks when I might consider retiring, and I tell her it's the day she might consider waking up next to a pile of dusty old bones!" He laughed heartily. "Well, let's get started, shall we? In an effort to not overwhelm you on your very first day here, I think we'll start with a leisurely tour of the facility, followed by a rundown of the projects we are currently working on. Shall we begin?"
"Yes, sir—er, doctor." Quistis corrected her words, but caught herself halfway through a salute. She winced. "I apologize. It's an old habit."
Dr. Devres smiled. "No worries, I understand. Took me three years to break my training after I left the army. Funny thing is, I was only in it for two!"
As she followed Dr. Devres on the tour, Quistis marveled at the facility, which was modern and immaculate and brightly lit, and encompassed ten very large floors, seven above ground and three below.
"A lot of highly-classified work goes on down there," Dr. Devres explained. "Weapons and defense development, sensitive government contracts, those kinds of things. But the underground levels also serve as a vault, of sorts, for the results of many of our completed projects. We keep a sample of every successful product there, so that in the unlikely event of a catastrophe, our knowledge is not lost. But access to those floors requires a top-level clearance that not even I possess.
"Our blue magic laboratories are located on the fifth floor," he continued, as he and Quistis entered another elevator. "We have ten small labs, for work on small-scale projects and items, three large labs, a testing facility that is similar to the one Mr. Cato uses, and a comprehensive reference library." The elevator announced their arrival on the fifth floor with a ding, and Dr. Devres gestured for Quistis to go ahead. "See for yourself."
Quistis exited the elevator and found herself looking through a set of glass double-doors at a long room filled with tall shelves. The reference library. The hallway branched in front of her, and ran along either side of the library. Dr. Devres turned right, and Quistis followed him, down a hallway flanked on one side by a series of small laboratories. Along the way, Dr. Devres explained the projects the department was working on at the moment and introduced Quistis to her new co-workers as they encountered them.
With each smile, nod, and greeting, however, Quistis felt smaller, and old insecurities returned, gnawing at her confidence. All of the people she met had worked hard to get here. They held degrees from the university, they had spent years in a laboratory setting, most of them had probably aspired to work here all their lives. She imagined at least a few of them must regard her with well-concealed disdain, a novice who swept in on a tide of luck, considered not for her results but for her potential, hired not so much as a researcher, but as a competitive investment in a burgeoning international market.
Her stomach turned, and she felt an uncomfortable tightness in her chest. By the time she and Dr. Devres finished the tour, ending up in front of the elevator once more, her mouth had gone dry, and cold sweat prickled along her spine.
Dr. Devres noticed her discomfort and asked what was the matter.
"This really is an impressive facility," Quistis began, "and the researchers you employ are obviously extremely competent. They must have spent years developing their knowledge and skills, and by comparison, I hardly feel deserving of this position. Truthfully, I feel a bit like a fraud."
"Nonsense." Dr. Devres looked her in the eyes. "You wouldn't be here if either Dr. Mohren or I believed you didn't belong. You have the intelligence and the drive to succeed. You simply need to catch up in the practical aspects of this job, and I believe that hands-on experience is the best teacher. Nobody expects you to know everything, and the researchers working on the project I've assigned you to understand that you might need a little guidance at first. We're confident that you can make the necessary adjustments and learn what you need to." He smiled. "Pretty soon, you'll find your footing and wonder just what you were so worried about. The hard part is getting started; but by committing to this position and making the move out here, you're halfway through that part already. Just relax and take it one day at a time."
"Thank you." Quistis could not shake her anxiety, but Dr. Devres' words carried a finality that suggested he was done discussing the topic.
"You're very welcome." He turned and led her into one of the small laboratories. "Now, to the specifics of your work here. I've assigned you to a project that is dear to me, one I've been preparing for years. It concerns distillates and a new method of delivery of blue magic skills."
"Delivery," Quistis repeated. "Not introduction?"
"Precisely. By experimenting with distillates, we have found that, of the many items and skills that exist in the wild, only a small percentage are absorbable by blue mages. Perhaps your organic affinity hypothesis may be able to expand our range of usable skills, someday, but in the meantime, I'd like you to help us develop another method by which blue mages might supplement their repertoires." He opened a cabinet and pulled out a small box, from which he retrieved something that looked like a bullet, filled with a viscous, colorful liquid. "We have experimented with concentrating a distillate and placing it inside a bullet that, upon impact of a target, simulates a skill used by the creature from which the original skill-bearing item was obtained."
Quistis took the bullet and studied it. "If I may ask, how would the development of this item affect the utility of blue mages? Wouldn't it allow anyone to use blue magic?"
"I'm glad you brought that up. The answer is no. In early trials, we discovered that the concentration of distillate necessary to deliver the skill was so high as to cause adverse affects in users who were not blue mages. Simply handling the items, over a short period of time, caused headaches, nausea, and, in some cases, hallucinations. All subjects fully recovered after ceasing use of the bullets." Dr. Devres reclaimed the bullet and placed it back in the box. "Bad news for them, great news for us. Essentially, these bullets give blue mages more flexibility on the battlefield. Not only will they have more skills at their disposal, but they will also not need to remain in critical status to employ these skills. In that way, we are increasing the utility of the blue mage, and allowing them to participate more fully through the use of their specific talents."
"That's very intriguing. What will be my role in this project?"
"You will spend the first week familiarizing yourself with prior research on this matter and the history of the project's development. Then, you will help facilitate the trials, which entails a variety of duties: you will observe and log results, determine and adjust the volume and concentration of distillate in the test bullets as necessary, and determine which items from various species bear a useable skill." Dr. Devres grinned. "Once you gain some experience with these procedures, you will find that they are not very difficult, and they should be a good introduction to working here at O. Labs. Do you have any other questions, at the moment?"
"No, doctor."
"Then let's get you started! Follow me, and I'll show you where we keep the reports for this project."
⁂
Dr. Devres was right. Quistis soon found her place among the other researchers at Odine Laboratories, who regarded her not with the disdain she had feared, but with genuine curiosity as one of the few employees who'd grown up outside of Esthar. They were patient with her, and she repaid that patience by devoting herself to catching up as quickly as possible. By the end of her second week, she had assisted in several trials of the blue magic bullets, and was learning to identify the results of various concentrations of distillates. Still, she was caught off-guard when Dr. Devres arrived to receive updates on the project, and the researcher with whom Quistis was working stepped aside to let her field the doctor's questions.
"What are the results of the tests of the distillate from the Glacial Eye's spike?" Dr. Devres asked.
"A concentration of fifty to sixty percent of total volume was determined to be the most effective," Quistis answered.
"And how did you come to that conclusion?"
Quistis explained the various concentrations they experimented with, and the results of each. "We discovered that this distillate can confer a single-target offensive skill similar to a mid-level ice spell, but that at concentrations lower than fifty percent, the result is negligible. At concentrations above sixty-five percent, however, the amount of energy generated caused collateral damage to other members of the user's party. To avoid that scenario, we therefore recommend an upper limit of sixty percent of volume."
"Excellent. Thank you for the update. Carry on."
Quistis relaxed and glanced over her shoulder at the other researcher, who smiled and made a gesture of approval.
That evening, Quistis returned to her apartment and found a package waiting for her. The textbooks she had ordered from the university had arrived. She sorted the books by course, and flipped through them, alternating between apprehension and excitement. A new session of expedited courses was starting next week, and she had enrolled in two. The hard work was just beginning for her, but she welcomed the challenge, the opportunity to expand her knowledge and grow into the life that was opening up before her.
She sat back on the couch with a satisfied sigh and looked around her apartment. The figurine of Wilbur now stood at one end of a row of books, Argider's note still tucked through the loop on its back. Quistis loved the freedom of a having a space to call her own, and she was beginning to feel a sense of comfort and warmth there similar to that which she'd felt in Retta's apartment. But she was not ready to call her own apartment home. Not yet.
Home. The word was so small, but so loaded with implications and emotions that both intimidated and delighted her. It was something she'd never dared imagine for herself, and something she was afraid might be a dream. Growing up in Garden, she became used to the ephemerality of places and objects and even people, and she sometimes felt that the life she'd built around her now was an illusion woven of gossamer, and just saying the word she'd longed to understand might break it.
So, for now, she would refrain from calling her space a home. But she knew that one day, the word would slip from her unbidden, unencumbered by the shadows of her past. One day, she would wake and realize that she was whole again, that the direction in which she moved wasn't just away from Garden, but also toward a full and rewarding life. A life worth looking forward to, a life worth sharing with someone else.
One day.
She felt no need to rush, for she finally understood what she had fought for those years ago, what she and her friends had won: time enough to build a bright future, time enough to truly live.