A/N: Merry Christmas! I want to thank all of my amazing readers for supporting my stories! I appreciate every follow, fave, and review!
I think this is the first chapter without a flashback. And don't worry, I don't think this chapter is very sad, maybe a little. But I counteract it with plenty of Zephyr cuteness!
—
Forbidden Friendship: Part One
It was late enough into the day that Gobber had long since left the forge, likely spending some time in the Great Hall, or maybe even planning to head over to the Haddock household. Wherever Gobber was, Hiccup was just glad that he wasn't in the forge.
They had been getting along much better than they had in years, Hiccup even held conversations with him now. However, Hiccup did not want his former mentor around while he tried to figure out how to build a splint for Toothless' injured tail fin.
Reaching into his satchel that was still slung over his shoulder and across his chest, Hiccup pulled out his new sketchbook. He was glad the drawings he had done of Toothless' injured tail fin hadn't ended up in the other one, so that he was able to give it to Astrid.
The conversation he'd had with her had been difficult. He'd admitted to things and past feelings that he had never wanted to revisit or speak of out loud, but... she had already known.
At first, he had felt betrayed by her invasion of privacy, but it didn't bother him anymore. She was right, even if he had communicated with her back then, he had just been telling her what he thought she wanted to hear. That wasn't proper communication. The fact was that being married off to an old friend who had previously abandoned him, essentially booted out of his childhood home to live with someone he hardly knew anymore, and all so that he could father the next heir of Berk— as demanded by the chief, the council, and the people— when he didn't even feel like an adult yet, did make him feel like he was being used and then tossed aside. On top of all that, he had felt pressured to go along with it because his feelings had never mattered. He was obligated to do what the people needed and it was the only way in which he could ever successfully do something useful for his tribe. And that had all served to make his passive suicidal tendencies evolve into a firm decision to act on them. That is, until he had set eyes on his daughter for the first time and had taken a moment to think back on his time with Astrid. They had started to form a bond, he had come to care for her and the life they shared.
Even though the arranged marriage had been difficult for Hiccup, and he knew it hadn't been easy for Astrid either, he was grateful that it had happened. All of his conflicting feelings— the stress and anxiety— it had all been worth it in the end because he and Astrid had ended up very happy. They had Zephyr, and Hiccup loved being her dad, and they were going to have another baby, and Hiccup was excited about that too. He missed cradling a baby in his arms, stroking its soft head as it looked up at him like he was their whole world, walking around the house to rock the baby to sleep and comfort it after waking in the middle of the night... all the pleasant and peaceful memories he had of when Zephyr was a baby, and he was going to be able to do all that again, with their new baby. He looked forward to it.
A smile spread across Hiccup's face as he worked. He wondered if their baby was going to be a boy or a girl. He would love the opportunity to raise a son, even if part of him worried that he would be pressured to raise him the Viking way. However, whether a boy or a girl, he would love the child and love being their dad.
As he looked down at the pieces of the splint he was making, it suddenly occurred to him that their new baby might be growing up in a very different world than the one its older sister had experienced so far. Not only were things changing amongst the people and his family, but what impact would Toothless end up having?
If Hiccup was successful in healing the Night Fury's tail fin, then the dragon could go to the nest and could find the hunter called Grimmel. Hiccup felt a rising feeling of anxiety in his gut. What could he possibly do against a Queen dragon? How would he help Toothless go up against a trained hunter? Everything was starting to feel very impossible. He wanted to help Toothless and he wanted to help his home to be a safer place, but he was still just Hiccup, and even just the thought of being so high up in the air, flying on Toothless' back, had him reeling.
Hiccup closed his eyes, the new source of stress making all the good feelings about his growing family go away. Whatever did happen, Hiccup had to be there when the baby was born, he had to be there for the baby after it was born. He wanted that, he wanted to be alive to care for his family.
He would have to talk to Toothless, to make sure that whatever action they took, the plans would be well thought out. But for now, he was going to focus on one thing at a time, and that meant helping Toothless' tail fin to heal.
—
The village of Berk was silent and peaceful when Hiccup finally made his way home. He had done his best in creating a splint to hold the tail fin in place while it healed and he would try to take it to Toothless the next day.
While working, Hiccup had come up with an excuse to be spending more time out in the forest. He planned to tell Astrid that he wanted to take his combat training more seriously because of almost losing Zephyr. So he was going to go out more often so that he could train his body and work with his sword— which he had worked on before returning home so that Astrid would think that was why he had gone to the forge.
It seemed like a good lie, but Hiccup still felt really guilty about it. Astrid would believe it, he was sure. Though the lie wouldn't have worked if she wasn't pregnant and unwilling to traipse around the forest with him for training, because then she would definitely insist on going with him and working him hard.
He was a little concerned about living in his father's home, because that meant that he would be aware of Hiccup's schedule. Hiccup was sure, at some point, his dad was going to insist on joining him or even suggest that he give training in the arena with the other warriors another shot. At least Hiccup had an excuse for declining the latter, his anxiety at socializing with others had been apparent to everyone in his family because of the other day. As for Stoick joining him, he might just have to spend a day training with his dad in order to satisfy him so that he could keep sneaking away to see Toothless.
Hiccup was already starting to feel the weight of all this deceit and he didn't like it. His planning hadn't even stopped there. Once the splint had been finished, he had hidden it just past the tree line, so that he could fetch it easily on his way to see Toothless. Then, he had stopped by Gothi's, asking for some kind of tacky medicine that could maybe hold the membrane of Toothless' tail together so that it could heal.
Gothi had given him an odd and somewhat suspicious look. She was familiar with his and Zephyr's injuries and knew that such a medicine wasn't needed. And that was probably the weakest point in all of Hiccup's planning and scheming. He did not have an explanation for Gothi and had fully taken advantage of her inability to speak to him. However, he had left Gothi's with success. She did indeed have a medicine that would do exactly what Hiccup needed it for, though she had also indicated that it was usually used with stitches or a bandage.
The medicine was safely hidden inside his satchel, out of sight, and it was a good thing too. As Hiccup stepped into his childhood home, feeling a sense of nostalgia as he tried to quietly enter and make his way upstairs, Stoick appeared in the doorway to his room as if he had been waiting up for his son to return home.
"You were out late." Stoick commented, though in a soft and conversational tone as opposed to the stern, disapproving one from Hiccup's past.
"Oh, I was... I was working on my sword." Hiccup remembered his lie, though he had worked on it to back up his story.
"Right." Stoick responded rather awkwardly, glancing to Hiccup's waist where the sword in question hung from a belt. "It looks better than it did before."
Hiccup only nodded, his sword was clean and repaired, almost like new. Hiccup kept it in good shape, though he rarely used it. He would now.
"I haven't seen you wield a sword in years." Stoick drew out the conversation and Hiccup had to relent, he was going to have to stay downstairs until his father was satisfied that he'd made an effort with his son that day.
"Astrid taught me. I'm not as incompetent at it as I used to be." Hiccup answered, downplaying his abilities by a lot. He knew that when his dad referred to the 'last time' he had wielded a sword, he was remembering the disaster that was Gobber's private lesson to see if Hiccup really was ready for training. Hiccup had not succeeded in convincing his dad, again.
"I'm sorry I didn't believe in you back then." Stoick truly did look ashamed and Hiccup couldn't help it as his own attitude changed in regards to taking the time to talk to his dad in that moment. Stoick really was making an effort and reaching out, and Hiccup— though he had told his dad he would give him the chance to change and be a part of his life— had been rebuffing all of his father's attempts to reach out.
"Thanks..." Hiccup appreciated the apology and felt bad for having been short with his dad earlier that day, though he hadn't liked how his dad had started to lecture him again. "I'm sorry I brushed you off earlier today. You were right, I should have told Astrid where I was going."
"No, you were doing what you thought you had to do, to protect her from the truth. Bringing that sword back home, only let her know that you and Zephyr had been in more danger than she realized. I should have trusted that you'd have your wife's best interests at heart." Stoick continued to apologize, making Hiccup feel a pang of guilt at the lies he was weaving.
"I'm sure that conversation... wasn't very comfortable for you." Hiccup said apologetically. He and Astrid had discussed some very personal things and Stoick had been right there for the whole thing. At the time, Hiccup had been too focused on the argument with his wife to think about his dad being there. Normally such a discussion would have taken place more privately, in their own home. However, their house was still ashes and they had moved in with Stoick. There was suddenly less privacy, less space, and more time spent together. Hiccup couldn't avoid his dad anymore, he couldn't keep him out of his life, because he was aways right there.
It occurred to Hiccup that he hadn't been very good to his dad lately. He didn't go out of his way to be rude, he just wasn't very accepting of him being there and brushed off his efforts to be a part of Hiccup's family. Hiccup was used to the privacy that his and Astrid's home allowed him. He was used to hiding away and avoiding people, including his dad. Being in close quarters with so many people, including Sigrid and Arne who kept coming over to support their daughter's family who were going through a rough time, had been starting to get to him.
"I don't think it was comfortable for anyone." Stoick answered, and he was right. It hadn't been comfortable for Hiccup or Astrid either, or for Sigrid and Arne doing their best not to interfere and to protect Zephyr from the commotion. "But it sounded like it was necessary. Married couples sometimes fight. You're both you're own person and you're not going to agree on everything. Arranged marriages, especially, are hard. I know it seemed, back then, like I wasn't sympathetic to what you were going through, but I promise you, Hiccup, I did everything I thought I could to make sure you'd be okay."
Hiccup didn't respond at first, though he felt a tightening in the back of his throat at the emotions that hit him at his father's words. Stoick had never mentioned anything about the arranged marriage after it had happened, never acknowledged Hiccup's feelings on the matter, never expressed sympathy. Now that his dad was aware of Hiccup's deepest feelings about the marriage, back then, Hiccup found it easier to open up to him.
"I thought... I thought that you were glad to be rid of me." Hiccup admitted, looking down at the floor. "I thought you chose Astrid because she would make a good chief and you knew that I wouldn't."
"No." Stoick denied immediately, leaving the doorway to his room and approaching Hiccup so that they could be closer while they talked. "That wasn't it at all. I was sad to see you leave our home. I've been alone in this house for so long now, and I've missed having you here. Your arranged marriage was hard for me too. I tried to convince the council to wait, that you might not be ready for that. I always wanted you to find love, like I did with... with your mother."
Stoick nearly choked up as he brought up his late wife. Hiccup was surprised that his dad had brought her up at all. He rarely spoke of Hiccup's mom, Without thinking, Hiccup reached out and put a hand on his father's arm in a show of comfort. Appreciating the gesture, Stoick cleared his throat and continued.
"The council insisted, and when the people heard about it, they pushed for it too. In the end, these things are my call. The chief makes the final decision, but I couldn't ignore the logic behind the council's reasoning. You were the last in the Haddock line, our family's future wasn't secure, and therefore the future of Berk wasn't secure." Stoick wanted Hiccup to understand why he had made the decisions that he had, and Hiccup, for his part, was being very receptive to the new information. "I often worried about you, because you always seemed so reckless and there had been a few close calls where I had almost thought I'd lost you... It seemed the best choice, to arrange you to be married, just in case something happened to you."
Hiccup fidgeted at the mention of his recklessness. He hadn't cared about his life, and so hadn't tried very hard to get out of danger. It seemed that that carelessness had been one of the deciding factors in his arranged marriage. There couldn't be a next heir of Berk, if the current one had been killed due to a disregard for his own life.
"I wish I had seen..." Stoick looked pained. "I'm sorry I didn't see the pain you were in. If I had known, or ever acknowledged your feelings... I'm sorry that you got to a point where your life didn't mean anything to you. You had always meant something to me, I had always loved you, and I was terrible at showing it. If I had lost you... I don't think I would have recovered."
A feeling of shame caused Hiccup to look away from his dad and withdraw his hand. He had never wanted to hurt him, but back then, he hadn't known his dad cared for him as anything but a future chief of Berk. Hiccup was supposed to be a future chief, he was supposed to be capable, a Viking, tough, brave, anything that wasn't who he was. That was all Hiccup ever heard. His whole life had been grooming him for the future, for what the people needed, and Hiccup knew that he was going to fall short in every way. So what reason had he to live?
"If you had just told me you loved me back then... or commented on what I could do." Hiccup spoke so softly, timid about what he was saying. "I would've had hope that my life could mean something."
Stoick had to take a deep breath to control his emotions. He had already known that Hiccup's disregard for his life, back then, was likely his fault. But hearing it confirmed, as his son told him what he had needed to hear, only made him feel worse.
"I'm sorry. I didn't value what you had to offer before, but I do now" Stoick said after he regained his ability to speak. "And even if I didn't see all of your good qualities back then, I did always intend for you to be chief. I never wanted to replace you. Astrid wasn't ever meant to replace you, only be by your side and lead with you, as all chiefs' wives are meant to do."
Hiccup nodded his acceptance of his father's apology and answer. Things had worked out after all. Though, Hiccup still had no desire to be chief.
"Why Astrid?" Hiccup was suddenly curious. If Astrid hadn't been chosen because she would make a better chief than him, then why was she chosen? She was a talented warrior and a valued member of the Berk Guard. If she had married anyone else, she could have kept her position in the Berk Guard. However, marrying the future chief of Berk came with a load of other responsibilities. Being a warrior was important for everyone on Berk so that they could protect themselves and their families in a raid, but being an official member of the Guard wasn't necessary. When Astrid had married Hiccup, she'd had to let go of her position in the Guard. Instead, she had been required to bear a child for him. Then, she was expected to be a mother and to help Hiccup in his responsibilities as current heir and eventually, as chief. She was meant to lead alongside him.
"You know, I gave that one a lot of thought." Stoick was happy to explain, to let Hiccup know how much thought he had put into every aspect of his arranged marriage. "I went through a list of many potential wives for you, and I gave each one of them a lot of thought. I wanted to find you someone who could make you happy, who you could have a good life with. Your happiness was one of the most important things I considered. And she needed to be someone who would love you and be a good partner for you. The two of you would be working together as parents and as future leaders of Berk, so it also had to be someone who would compliment your abilities and lead alongside you. Not someone who would be overbearing or controlling, not someone who would look down on you or who was only in it for the title. Eventually, I thought of Astrid. At first, I thought she would be too intense of a person to be good for you. But when I really thought about it, I remembered how close you two used to be. How you two balanced each other out and made a good team. I was sure that with some work, you two could find that again. Astrid has good qualities, but she was covering them up in her goal to become the best warrior. You helped soften her heart and draw out those good qualities, and she has been supporting and encouraging you. I'm happy to see that things worked out."
Hiccup was taken aback by just how much thought his dad had put into the arranged marriage. At the time, it hadn't seemed like his dad had cared about anything but getting another heir out of the arrangement. Hiccup hadn't known, but if he had, it would have made a world of a difference to him.
"Thanks for telling me. I didn't know how hard you had worked. I wish I had..." Hiccup managed to respond after a moment of taking everything in.
"And I wish I had sat down with you and had a good discussion about the arranged marriage. I told you a lot of things, but I never listened or tried to understand your side." Stoick reprimanded himself again. "I also didn't listen to you when you ran off that one time. I'm sorry for the implications I made. I should have listened to your side then, too. You're a good husband to Astrid and a good father to Zephyr, I'm very proud of you and all that you've withstood. I certainly didn't make it easy for you."
A small smile spread across Hiccup's face at his father's words. Stoick really was making a big effort to understand how Hiccup had felt in the past and how it all affected him to this day. Hiccup was incredibly grateful and happy to see that. Perhaps living under his dad's roof again wouldn't be so bad after all.
"It means a lot to me that you told me all of that." Hiccup responded honestly, and Stoick smiled back at his son, glad to have gotten through and made some progress. Hiccup felt another pang of guilt, now he was going to have to lie to his dad too, after all this progress.
"If you ever have any other questions, or you just want to discuss anything. Please, let me know." Stoick said in earnest. He really wanted to make things right.
"...I will." Hiccup agreed after a moment. "I'd like to catch Astrid, before she falls asleep..."
Hiccup gestured up the stairs and Stoick nodded in understanding. He was happy to have caught Hiccup when he had returned. He could sleep peacefully now, knowing that he had made some things right. After saying goodnight, Stoick retreated back to his room.
—
Carefully, Hiccup slipped through the door to his old loft, not wanting to make a sound with the door that would wake Zephyr. As Hiccup turned around and walked further into the room, his eyes landed on the sleeping form of his daughter. He regretted not having had much time to spend with her that day, in fact, he had barely seen her when he had returned home from finding Toothless. He would be sure to spend some time with her the following day.
"Stoick says that we should have a proper bed in the next couple days." Astrid spoke softly from her position on the bed, next to their sleeping daughter. She was still awake, flipping through the sketchbook he had given her earlier that day, by the light of a candle.
"Oh? That'll be nice." Hiccup removed his boots and unhooked the sword from his belt before walking over to the bed, placing a kiss on Astrid's forehead. "We can move this one over there, to that corner, for Zephyr. Then our bed can be placed here."
"That would work." Astrid agreed, smiling up at her husband, gesturing for him to sit beside her, though the space was limited. She sat up a little straighter so they could talk. "Zephyr might protest, though, she likes sleeping in our bed now."
Hiccup chuckled, glancing at their sleeping daughter fondly. "After all the effort to get her to sleep in her own room, too."
"It was all for naught." Astrid laughed quietly. "We'll have to go through that all over again."
Shaking his head in fond exasperation, Hiccup laughed again. Then, he leaned against Astrid so that he could get a look at the page in the sketchbook she had been looking at.
"I think this one is one of my favorites." Astrid noticed what had captured his attention. It was a sketch of her, holding a bundle in her arms as she sat, though the baby itself couldn't be seen, and Zephyr was leaning over to take a look. It wasn't drawn from life, obviously, but done from a fantasy of what life would be like when the baby arrived. "You're excited?"
"You could say that." Hiccup chuckled again and she leaned over to kiss his cheek.
"Did you fix your sword?" Astrid inquired after they had shared a few minutes of silence, just enjoying being close to each other after all that they'd been through lately.
"I did." Hiccup answered, the good feeling being taken over by guilt and anxiety. "I was thinking... I want to spend more time training. I don't... I don't ever want to come that close to losing Zephyr again. And with the new baby... I just, I want to feel confident that I can protect them."
Though there was truth behind Hiccup's words and the feelings he'd been suppressing about almost losing Zephyr shown through as he spoke, it was still a deception. Astrid, however, didn't see through it. The anxiety Hiccup displayed and the emotions behind his words were enough to get her to empathize with her husband and understand how he felt. She wrapped an arm around him and leaned her head against his shoulder in a show of comfort.
"I wish you hadn't had to go through that. Zephyr too, poor girl." Astrid comforted. "She's holding up rather well though. I'm proud of her."
"Me too." Hiccup agreed, joining Astrid in looking down at their precious daughter. "I'm going to start training, probably at that clearing in the woods, where you used to train me."
"Hmmm..." Astrid responded sleepily. "I think that will be good for you. I only wish I was up to going out there with you, so that I could drill you on some training techniques. I'd drill you hard..."
"Well, I think you're too tired to know what you're saying." Hiccup said in amusement. He carefully unwrapped Astrid's arm from around him and lay her head gently on the pillow, he set the sketchbook on the side table, then pulled the blanket up around her. He placed another kiss on her forehead before setting up his sleeping space on the floor next to her.
As he prepared for bed, he realized that he'd accomplished everything he had set out to do that day. He'd found Toothless, invented a splint for his tail fin, acquired a medicine that would help, and... successfully lied to his wife. He hadn't liked doing that, but now, he had the freedom to go out and see Toothless without question.
—
Being sneaky was very exhausting. Hiccup found himself waking before the sun had risen, once again. However, this time, it was so that he could take a meager supply of fish into a basket and hide it with the splint, just past the tree line in the woods. He felt kind of bad, taking from Berk's supply of food, but Toothless and his hatchlings needed to eat too.
Once that task was successfully accomplished, Hiccup slipped back into the house and made his way upstairs without notice. The sun was just beginning to rise as Hiccup lay back down on his pile of furs and blankets, on the floor, to get another hour or so of sleep and making it look like he hadn't gone out at all.
—
There was a weight on his chest and something blowing against his face, he could sense it as he neared consciousness. The familiarity of the situation had him suddenly alert, he wasn't in the cove, so surely there wasn't a hatchling perched on his chest again. If there was, they were in for a difficult morning. Hiccup opened his eyes, fully awake.
"Hi daddy." Zephyr greeted cheerfully, her bright blue eyes peering down at him. Hiccup relaxed as he looked up at his daughter, sitting on top of him and leaning over his face. She had been impatient, wanting him to be awake.
"Were you blowing on my face?" Hiccup asked in amusement.
"Mommy said I shouldn't wake you up." Zephyr avoided answering about her unorthodox and creative methods of getting around her mother's request. "But you wouldn't wake on your own."
"Were you getting bored?" Hiccup had to laugh at his daughter.
"Grampa cooked without me." Zephyr pouted. "Mommy wants me to stay in."
Though he was grateful to not have to eat his daughter's cooking for breakfast, he did feel bad for her. She didn't have much to do inside and Hiccup knew Astrid didn't want their daughter out of her sights at the moment. Hiccup, himself, was still on the fence about her playing with the other children too, though he was more willing to allow it than before.
"I'm sorry, Zeph. How about I take you outside later?" Hiccup offered, loving as his daughter's face lit up. She nodded her head eagerly. "How about that place where you like to play in the leaves?"
The smile left her face and she suddenly looked frightened. Zephyr shook her head in refusal, causing Hiccup to wonder what was wrong.
"Don't you like it there? We had fun last time."
"No." Zephyr shook her head again, then laid her head on his chest and held him. Hiccup was surprised to find her shaking and quickly sat up, careful to support her as he did.
"What's wrong?" Hiccup started rubbing her back in comfort.
"Don't wanna go out there." Zephyr said softly as she held on to her dad.
"In the forest?" Hiccup asked, getting a nod from his daughter in confirmation. He was beginning to think he knew why she wasn't so eager to go back into the forest. "Because of... the dragon?"
Zephyr whimpered and Hiccup felt his heart lurch. He hugged her tighter and started rocking, stroking her hair and kissing the top of her head.
"You're safe now, okay? The dragon can't get you." Hiccup felt torn, seeing his daughter so frightened of the very dragons he was planning on helping, by uniting with Toothless. If only Zephyr knew the Night Fury family, she might be less scared of the dragons. Even though he said things to comfort her, she started crying harder. Hiccup didn't know what Zephyr had done all day, the day before, but he was pretty sure she hadn't been letting herself think about what had happened, or letting herself express how it made her feel. Now, however, she was letting it all out.
A concerned Astrid appeared in the doorway of the loft, having heard her daughter start crying from downstairs. Sound traveled easily in the home.
"What's wrong? We could hear her from downstairs." Astrid asked as she walked over to her husband and daughter. Astrid sat on the bed, near her family.
"I offered to take her outside later... into the forest to play." Hiccup admitted, now seeing that maybe he should have thought about his offer more carefully. "She got upset, she doesn't want to go into the forest yet."
Astrid understood immediately. Zephyr was afraid. This was why Astrid didn't want Zephyr going outside to play, not unless she was with her or Hiccup. She knew that her daughter hadn't fully accepted what had happened yet. Anything could set her off or make her remember, and Astrid wanted to be there when Zephyr needed her.
"It's okay, sweetie, you don't have to go out into the forest until you feel ready." Astrid assured. Zephyr tilted her head to look up at her mom with teary eyes. "There are no dragons in the village and I don't think there are any out in the forest right now either. We're all safe from those terrible beasts."
There were dragons out in the forest, Hiccup thought, and he was planning on visiting them today. How had things come to this? Zephyr was so scared, she had been terrified and attacked by a dragon. She was going to hate them, like everyone else on Berk. Astrid would never see a dragon as anything but the creatures who almost took their daughter away from them. But he knew, he knew that the dragons were being controlled, that they could be good.
"Do you want to go downstairs and eat breakfast? Grandpa Stoick made some porridge." Astrid tried to entice her. "He's putting out fruits, berries, and other toppings for you to choose from."
Zephyr raised her head from Hiccup's shoulder at that. She hadn't been awake early enough to help cook, but putting toppings on the food was close enough. She nodded her head and reached up for Astrid.
"How about daddy carries you downstairs?" Astrid tucked some of Zephyr's hair back into place and stood up from the bed. After a moment of consideration as her mom denied her request to be picked up, Zephyr dropped her arms and wrapped them back around Hiccup. Zephyr had forgotten, something was going on with her mommy right now.
—
Stoick had been fiddling with the breakfast food, taking his time setting things on the table as he waited. He had heard when Zephyr had started crying upstairs, sharing a look with Astrid before she went up to investigate. He had been waiting for his family to come downstairs so he could see that his granddaughter was alright.
He was pretty sure he knew what was wrong, though. Zephyr had been through something traumatic and she was such a bright and gentle soul, he knew it had to be taking a toll on her.
"Everything alright?" Stoick asked as soon as the little family started descending the stairs, Astrid in the lead and Zephyr clinging to her father. Astrid met his eyes and somehow, Stoick's theory was confirmed— Zephyr had been frightened and Astrid didn't want to bring it up in front of her daughter again. Stoick nodded in confirmation that he understood. Since he and Astrid had spent a decent amount of time together, with Astrid shadowing him as he did his chief work around Berk, they had formed their own kind of family bond. Stoick was sure that for a while there, he had been closer to his daughter-in-law than he had been to his own son.
Hiccup set Zephyr on a chair, and she immediately stood on it so she could see everything at the table. She liked porridge, especially with lots of fruit and maybe some honey in it. The toppings she had been promised would be there, were more limited than she would have liked though. Wouldn't it be interesting to have two of the foods she really liked, mixed together? Then it would be doubly good. However, there was no fish to be found at the table.
"Need some help?" Stoick offered to help serve his granddaughter some breakfast, but she was determined to serve everyone else on her own.
"No, I can do it." Zephyr declined, now completely focused on making masterpieces for her family to eat. She was entirely distracted and enjoying herself and everyone there couldn't help but be amused. Zephyr would heal, she would learn to cope. She was very resilient, she was strong willed. Hiccup only wished that someday she could live in a world where dragons weren't something to fear.
—
It was later in the day than Hiccup would have liked. He had wanted to head for the cove no later than noon, but it seemed that he would have to put it off. Zephyr had really wanted to spend time with her daddy and he couldn't bring himself to deny her.
They had played in the grass by Stoick's home, avoiding the woods and the remains of their house. It was a bit chilly out as winter approached, but Zephyr was glad to be outside and with her dad. Though, after running around and playing for a while, they saw Sigrid as she walked up to their temporary home and entered.
"Gramma!" Zephyr became distracted from her play and started back for the house.
"Zeph!" Hiccup was surprised as his daughter started running off, as fast as her little legs could carry her, and he quickly followed behind.
When they finally arrived back to the house and entered, Sigrid was sitting at the table with Astrid, and Zephyr ran straight to her.
"Did you ask?" Zephyr asked Sigrid, eyes wide and hopeful. Hiccup cocked his head in confusion, not knowing what it was that Sigrid was supposed to ask about. Apparently, Sigrid had forgotten too because it took her a moment before her face lit up in realization.
"I'm sorry, Zeph, I didn't get around to it." Sigrid apologized, Zephyr deflated, but bounced back quickly, racing off to grab one of the toys she had been given from off a chair by the fireplace.
At Hiccup's questioning look, Astrid explained, with much amusement. "Zephyr uh... she thinks her new doll is naked."
Without thinking, Hiccup had to turn around and look at the doll in question that Zephyr was now walking along any flat surface in the room.
The description of 'new' wasn't completely correct. Zephyr had used to have a very nice, pretty doll that her grandpa Stoick had gifted her when she was still a baby, and it had worn a cute, little dress. She'd had it for as long as she could remember, however, it had burned along with their home and everything else inside. Though, when they had moved in with Stoick, some sweet, young children had given Zephyr some of their toys. The gesture had been appreciated, even if some of the toys were obviously hand-me downs, and that didn't seem to matter to Zephyr anyway, who was just happy to be given something to replace the things she had lost.
The doll that Zephyr had been given was a plush doll, obviously a hand me down, nothing super new or nice, but she did love it. Apparently, the only problem Zephyr had with her new toy was that, even though it had been sewn in one shade of fabric— a peachy color— with an embroidered face, yarn hair, and had been painted at one point to have clothes, Zephyr insisted that the doll was naked and needed a dress. Hiccup could see why, even if it was a bit silly, since some of the paint was wearing off and she was used to her previous doll, that had had her own dress.
"Mom was going to ask her seamstress friend, Inga, if she could make a dress for Doll, since we're busy making clothes to replace the ones we lost in the fire." Astrid explained further. "Unless... you have time to make one?"
Hiccup wanted to say yes, he would definitely make their daughter's doll a dress, anything to make her happy. He was the talented sewer in their family, though Astrid could do simple things with great impatience. However, Hiccup needed to get out into the woods, to see Toothless.
"Normally, I'd say yes..." Hiccup answered hesitantly.
"Right, you want to spend more time training." It dawned on Astrid as she recalled the sleepy conversation she'd had with Hiccup the night before.
"Training?" Sigrid inquired.
"Uh, yeah. I just... I want to be confident that I... I can... defend my own family." Hiccup felt ashamed that he couldn't do that already and hated having to admit it to Astrid's mother. Sigrid simply hummed in understanding as she focused on threading her needle.
"I'm sure my friend would be happy to..." Sigrid said after a moment, distractedly. Then, she looked up from her task. "I've already asked Inga if she would make a few things for your family, Hiccup, and she is very quick at it. I'm sure she's about done already. Stores of blankets and warm clothes aren't what are in demand right now, most people have plenty of those things or already had them made— you never know when the snow will hit after all— so she has some time on her hands. I'm headed up to the kitchens soon, so I can help with preparing food to be stored, so I don't have the time."
"It's just a dress for a doll." Hiccup responded, not thinking it was that big of a deal and wondering why Sigrid was being so insistent. He could get to it, eventually, no point in disturbing anyone and asking people for favors, especially if this seamstress was already making some things for them.
"It means something to Zephyr." Astrid said. "She lost everything that meant something to her and went through something traumatic. If she finds comfort in that doll..."
"Okay." Hiccup relented, then thought through his plans for the day. He had made a splint for Toothless' tail fin in one night, maybe he could finish a simple dress for a doll in one night too, so long as it wasn't frilly. "I'll find some time to get it done."
"No need for that, if you're busy with other things." Sigrid spoke up once more, before Astrid could thank her husband for being willing to do the task. "Being able to protect your family is important, so go ahead and focus on that."
Hiccup couldn't help as his cheeks reddened in embarrassment and shame as Sigrid acknowledged how useless Hiccup thought he was at protecting his family. He had almost lost Zephyr, and he would never forget it. He wasn't even going out there to train! It was an excuse to see Toothless, and that made him feel even more ashamed. Perhaps he should also work on his training too, while he was out there.
"Inga makes dolls and other plush toys too, she's the best at it on Berk. Why don't you take some of that sweet bread Zephyr and I made yesterday, and ask her?" Sigrid suggested.
Hiccup had several protests to that suggestion, but first of all... "You want me to give her bread that Zephyr helped make?"
Hiccup glanced at his daughter who was preoccupied wrapping a clean dishrag around her doll like a big skirt, hoping that she hadn't heard what he'd said.
Sigrid laughed. "I didn't let her do anything crazy to it, I was just tying to keep her busy." She looked up from her sewing, at Hiccup. "She was worried when you weren't here, and Astrid's anxiety wasn't helping."
"...I'm sorry." Hiccup couldn't help the sudden desire to apologize.
"No, don't worry about it." Sigrid brushed off, having heard the entire argument between him and Astrid, when he had finally returned. The things Hiccup had admitted to had made her and Arne feel sorrow, on his behalf, she didn't want to make him feel bad. She stood from the table, leaving her sewing behind as she went to put a loaf of bread in a basket, wrapping it in a cloth.
Hiccup shared a desperate look with Astrid, not wanting to have to go out and ask someone for a favor. He hated asking people for things. He wasn't comfortable talking to people he didn't know well, which was most people.
"Want to go ask my friend to make a dress for your doll?" Sigrid asked Zephyr, basket in hand. Zephyr's eyes lit up and she quickly discarded the rag she had been trying to dress her doll with.
"Yes!" Zephyr was practically jumping up and down with excitement. Hiccup held back a groan, now there was no way he could get out of doing this.
"I could go, if you'd prefer?" Astrid could see Hiccup's discomfort at the idea.
"No... that's okay." Hiccup considered her offer for a brief couple of seconds, but he didn't want to make Astrid do anything more for him than she already was. "You're busy, and I can just head out to train after I bring Zephyr back here."
Hiccup accepted the basket from Sigrid, listened to her directions on where Inga lived, and ushered Zephyr toward the door. The quicker they got this task done, the faster he could get out of the main part of town with the crowds of people, and go into the peaceful forests to see Toothless.
Hiccup was hesitant to be the one who had to go and talk to someone, especially since there had been a time when asking someone for something wouldn't have gone over well for him, at all. He half expected the woman they were going to talk to, to chase him away with a reprimand that she had better things to do with her time. However, as he walked through the village, Zephyr skipping alongside him and now holding the doll out as if it were skipping along with her, all he saw were friendly faces. People gave him his space, but they nodded in greeting and smiled down at Zephyr. It was... strange to him.
When they had arrived at the house of one of Berk's best seamstresses, Inga, Hiccup had to take a moment to collect himself. He took a deep breath and told himself that this wasn't even a big deal, people had come to him asking for bigger favors before, usually in the forge, back when they hadn't even liked him. He could do this. Requests went out all the time, to the people best suited to doing them. Everyone had a skill or a job and everyone benefited from them. Hiccup had likely serviced one of Inga's weapons before and she had likely been the one to make some of his family's clothes in the past, and had recently made some things for them, according to Sigrid. It was an exchange of services.
Zephyr looked up at her dad with questioning eyes, and that was when Hiccup told himself that his mild discomfort in asking for a favor for his daughter, was worth it. He knocked.
It was mere seconds before Inga opened the door with a welcoming and expectant expression on her face, rather than the curious and confused expression he'd been expecting at their random appearance at her door.
"Hiccup." Inga said in acknowledgment, a smile on her face. "How's the family? Is everyone doing alright?"
"Uh, yes. We're all doing just fine." Hiccup didn't think he was very good at small talk and felt incredibly awkward. If he had to talk to someone, he usually tried to get straight to the point and get out of their way as soon as he could. However, Astrid had once instructed him, people liked talking pleasantries before getting to business. It was polite to do so and odd for someone to say what they wanted so quickly— as if they had to explain every one of their actions and apologize for existing— and dash. Astrid knew how Hiccup was, and he had promised to try socializing her way. "...how about you and your family?"
"Oh, we're all doing well. My family came out of the raid without a scratch." Inga informed him, taking the invitation to talk, to heart. She was a very chatty person, much to Hiccup's dismay. She went right on talking, not even seeming to be curious about why he was there. "We're not as busy as others at the moment, the demand for clothing and blankets was earlier in the fall, and has mostly passed. It's construction, fishing and hunting, and, as I'm sure you know, forge work, that are in demand right now. My husband is working on some repairs in the village, maybe you saw him out there?"
Hiccup's eyes widened as she asked for a response. He wasn't even sure if he remembered who her husband was. However, before he could think to shrug or apologize for not knowing, she kept talking.
"I've just been spending the day teaching my two kids how to do some simple stitch work." She chuckled. "And guess which one is doing better? My oldest boy, Bard. I suppose my four-year-old will get better with time and some learned patience."
This was not going at all the way Hiccup had expected. He didn't know how to converse with Inga, being more of a listener than a talker. When Hiccup just nodded his head to indicate that he was, in fact, listening, Inga looked down at Zephyr, acknowledging her for the first time.
"Why hello, Zephyr." Inga greeted. Zephyr waved a hand, shyly. "Do you know my daughter? Eira, she's not much older than you."
Zephyr shook her head no, hiding part of her face behind her new doll as she hugged it. She didn't know most of the children. She could recognize which ones had been mean to her before, but she didn't know their names. Mostly she tried to meet the ones she didn't know and avoided the ones she had interacted with before. Except now, she could also recognize some of the few children who had given her things, when all of her stuff had burned.
"Oh, who is this?" Inga gestured to the doll. "She's pretty."
"She's naked." Zephyr informed the lady without hesitation. Hiccup nearly smacked a hand to his forehead. If he had been drinking something, he'd have spewed it. Oh Zephyr... his precious daughter, why?
Hiccup looked at Inga with wide eyes, wondering if she would shoo them away, offended by Zephyr's blunt words. He was entirely taken aback when Inga burst out into laughter. He stopped himself from apologizing for his daughter's lack of a filter when he saw just how funny she had found Zephyr's comment.
"She does seem to be, doesn't she?" Inga managed to reply, wiping a tear from her eye from her excessive laughter.
"Doll needs a dress." Zephyr said, growing more bold. She pulled at Hiccup's arm, indicating that she wanted the basket that held the sweet bread, so he handed it to her, making sure she had a good grip before letting go. "This is for you."
"Oh? For me? You're such a sweet girl." Inga took the basket and peered inside. "This looks amazing, Zephyr. Did you help make it?"
Zephyr nodded, her face alight with a proud smile. "I like making things."
"Do you? So do I." Inga smiled knowingly, already knowing why Hiccup and Zephyr were there. She'd been expecting them, actually. Sigrid had already talked to her about the dress, but she had also had another request, and Inga was more than willing to oblige.
It was also no surprise to Inga, that Zephyr liked to make things. She figured, the little girl must be creative, like her father. She was certainly more talkative than him— Hiccup had barely said a thing. Inga reasoned that she, and the rest of Berk were responsible for that. Hiccup used to talk, he had talked a lot, to anyone who would listen. Then, suddenly, he didn't. She, along with most others, had resolved to undue the wrongs they had done to their heir and future chief. Hiccup really was a nice person, and Zephyr was too. In fact, Zephyr would make a good friend for her daughter, and Inga had been told that she didn't have any.
"Will you make one?" Zephyr gathered the courage to finally ask for what she wanted. Hiccup was proud of her, having expected her to hide behind him and make him ask. When he held her, she usually hid her face in his neck when people were around. She wasn't as inclined to hide from people as she used to be.
"I have an idea." Inga smiled at Zephyr. "How about you help me make one? Do you want to learn? You and Eira can learn together. You can tell me exactly how you want it to look. Your grandma Sigrid told me you are very talented."
Inga looked back at Hiccup, seeking permission to take Zephyr for the day so they could work together on the doll's dress and so that their daughter's could play together. Hiccup wasn't sure how he felt about it, having thought that they would request a dress for the doll and then pick it up another time.
Zephyr looked to her dad with wide, hopeful eyes. She wanted to help make Doll's dress and she wanted a friend.
"I won't let her use the needle or anything, and Eira is a sweet girl, she'll treat Zephyr right." Inga could see the indecision on Hiccup's face and tried to assure him. Sigrid had spoken to her ahead of time, that she intended to get Hiccup to bring Zephyr over for a simple request in the hopes that Zephyr could finally make a new friend. Sigrid had also warned her, Hiccup would be hesitant.
"Daddy, I wanna sew and play." Zephyr reached for her dad's hand and held onto some of his fingers. As Hiccup looked down at his daughter's hopeful face, he knew that he wasn't going to deny her what she wanted. He couldn't keep her away from others forever, and it really wasn't right to do so either. But he worried, he would always worry. He didn't want her to feel that pain of rejection that he had, but Inga seemed nice, so her daughter likely was too. Besides, playing with a girl close to her age and making a dress for her doll would keep her distracted from her new fears.
"Okay." Hiccup finally relented, feeling a warmth in his heart at Zephyr's ecstatic expression. "You can stay."
"She'll be just fine." Inga reassured Hiccup, seeing how worried he was. He and Zephyr had gone through a lot in the past few days, after all. As a parent, Inga could understand that Hiccup would be hesitant to leave his daughter anywhere after nearly being killed by a dragon, not long ago. On top of that, she knew that Hiccup worried about his daughter being bullied, because of what Sigrid had told her. "We'll walk her back to the chief's home, before it gets dark."
"Thanks." Hiccup gave Inga a small smile in return. Zephyr skipped inside the house with Inga, turning to give her daddy a wave goodbye before the door shut.
As Hiccup turned to leave, he made a confused face as he thought back on the conversation and how Inga had mentioned that Sigrid had told her about Zephyr already. She'd seemed to be expecting them. He blinked in realization, then shook his head in exasperation. Sigrid had set him up, so that he would give permission for Zephyr to play with another child.
—
Hiccup figured that he should return home, so that he could tell Astrid that Zephyr would be at Inga's house for the day. He knew that Astrid wanted to keep Zephyr close at the moment, so that she could be there for her if she became afraid again. He just hoped she'd be understanding about how he had left their daughter with someone else.
He was a little nervous about it. What if Eira was mean to Zephyr, or if Bard picked on her? Though, Hiccup also hoped that Zephyr would have a good time and that Inga's children would be nice to her.
"Oh, Hiccup. How'd things go?" Sigrid interrupted Hiccup's thoughts as she walked in the opposite direction as he was. She was leaving Stoick's home as Hiccup was arriving.
"How did you know?" Hiccup asked first thing, after noticing Sigrid. His question didn't come with an explanation, but she seemed to know what he was referring to.
"You're very protective of Zephyr." Sigrid started to explain her actions. "Of course you are, she hasn't been treated well by others for most of her life. You want to protect her from others. And, I know what Astrid did to you, as children. She told me about it once, how she abandoned you as a friend. She feared you would hold it against her."
Hiccup broke eye contact as he looked down. He wasn't sure if he liked Sigrid knowing so much about his thoughts and feelings, but she had also likely heard everything he had said the day before, during his argument with Astrid.
"Now Astrid is afraid to let Zephyr out of her sight." Sigrid continued. "But Zephyr needs a friend, someone her own age she can play with. I didn't think introducing you to Inga and Eira would've had you convinced to let Zephyr go, so... I set this up. I talked to Inga beforehand, she knew you were coming. You're right, it is just a dress for a doll, but it will give Zephyr the chance to bond with a girl her age, to make a friend. She's lonely when you aren't around, or when Astrid can't entertain her all the time."
"I don't want her to be lonely." Hiccup finally responded, Sigrid mentioning that his daughter was lonely, making his heart break. He didn't want his daughter to be alone like he had been.
"I know." Sigrid stepped closer, placing a hand on Hiccup's shoulder. "You just worry, I get it. I assure you, Inga won't let anything happen to Zeph. Eira is a nice, quiet girl, she'll get along with Zephyr very well."
"What about... Bard?" Hiccup had to ask.
"Inga's son? He's polite, if a bit rowdy at times. He won't hurt Zephyr either, I promise." Sigrid assured. "Astrid was a little upset when I told her what I did, but she knows that Zephyr is with Inga's family, she understood."
Hiccup nodded. At least he didn't have to explain the situation to her, though he planned on talking to her anyway, before heading out to see Toothless.
"I'm sorry if I overstepped." Sigrid said when Hiccup didn't say anything more. "I just thought that with Zephyr being so jumpy and fearful right now, after the incident with the dragon, that she could use a friend."
"No, you didn't overstep." Hiccup met Sigrid's eyes again. "Thanks, for looking out for Zephyr. I appreciate it. You're right, Zephyr needed a friend. She's... she's been asking about playing with other children. I was afraid that they would reject her again, and she would get hurt."
Sigrid nodded in understanding.
"I feel more confident about it, knowing that you know Inga's family well."
"Zephyr will be fine." Sigrid repeated, understanding Hiccup's worries. With another nod of thanks, Hiccup and Sigrid parted ways.
After checking in on Astrid, Hiccup intended to finally head out to the cove, so that he could meet up with his new friend. Zephyr would be on his mind all day, but he felt better knowing that her first friend was someone Sigrid trusted would treat her well. Maybe it would lead to Zephyr making other friends, with people who would treat her right.
If only Hiccup could get people to accept the new friend that he had made, with the Night Fury, hidden deep inside the woods of Berk. He didn't hold out hope.
—
A/N: Thanks for reading! Sorry this story hasn't been updated for a while. I had a lot of art projects to finish during November and December, and not a lot of time for writing. I won't ever abandon my stories, but I'm switching to updates every other Monday, starting on January 11th. You can look at my profile/bio for updates on... well, my updating schedule. I have a lot of art commissions to finish and design work to do in the next coming months, but I will be writing during my free time!
I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
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Silvolde: Hiccup and Astrid are only growing stronger as a couple. I have so much planned for this story! It may take me a while to get to it all, but I will finish this story one day. Do you believe that I hadn't originally planned on this story being so long? It had plans of its own, apparently.
catlovingmermaid: Thanks! I hope you continue to enjoy the story!
htvhtgjtdhzr: It is taking some time, but Hiccup is getting better and healing. Sometimes issues pop up, and Hiccup has to discuss things with someone, though. What Astrid did, happened a long time ago, and she used the knowledge to try and improve their relationship and make Hiccup more comfortable with their arrangement. I think, once Hiccup thought about it, he couldn't get himself to be angry about it. Now, I think, most things are out in the open. Hiccup's family knows the depths of his previous despair, there is nothing more he can really hide from them. Also, no, this fic will never be abandoned! I have too many future scenes and chapters that I am excited for! I've just been very busy lately.
grecefar: At least Stoick wasn't as harsh with Hiccup as he was in the past, and he quickly realized his mistake. In this chapter, Stoick tried to clear the air about the arranged marriage, and apologized better. He does have a way to go, before Hiccup fully accepts and trusts him, but Stoick is making progress. Thanks for the review!
clank2662: Haha, that is a very good prediction. Hopefully nothing too maddening though!
Jhousa: Thank you! That's true, there wasn't as much plot/action stuff in the last chapter, or maybe even in this one. But I think one of the main focuses of this story has always been about character development. I think Hiccup will be more willing to confide in Astrid, now that she knows just how dark his thoughts were for a while there, at the beginning of their marriage. The only obstacle left between Hiccup and Astrid, now, is Toothless. I try to respond to all of my reviewers, because I appreciate you taking the time to comment on my writing. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!
Ataruss: Hey there. They all did have a different view on the arranged marriage, didn't they? In this chapter, Stoick tells Hiccup more about his thoughts on the marriage, which is something Hiccup needed to hear. Even if Astrid hadn't found the sketchbook, I don't think Hiccup would have killed himself, because it was Zephyr who gave him a reason to live. Things might have been a bit more difficult though, without Astrid knowing and making a greater effort to make things easier for Hiccup. I'm glad you liked the last chapter so much, I like Hicstrid too! Haha, there's a good way of feeling suckerpunched?
Silver Sentinel: There are still things Hiccup needs to discuss with the people who hurt him, though things are getting better for him. Hiccup and Astrid's relationship is only growing stronger, and Stoick is trying to reach out to his son and make a connection, though he still has a lot to learn about him. Hiccup has healed enough that he does now have a desire to live.
CajunBear73: That's true, Hiccup has a small circle of loved ones. He loves and trusts those few, when he is with them, he is most able to be comfortable being himself. Around anyone else, even some of his family, he clams up and hides away again. Stoick is trying, but Hiccup wasn't being all that responsive to him, but in this chapter he decides to let his dad in, more. As for the rest of Berk, he is still hesitant, and may never be completely trusting of them.
CHSHicstrid: I'm glad you liked the last chapter. I think even with Toothless, Hiccup and Astrid would have still made a good match, and could have found each other eventually.
Romantica 543: I'm just happy to receive a review, whenever it comes in! Astrid does worry about Hiccup, and she wanted to make sure that he was as comfortable and happy in their relationship as he could be. Hiccup's initial reaction was to be upset, but I think he realized that Astrid used the things she learned from his sketchbook, to make him feel better about the arrangement, and that was something he could appreciate. Besides, this Hiccup isn't one for causing contention. I like your insight into Stoick's actions, I agree. Stoick can't fix everything with Hiccup if he doesn't know what exactly needs to be mended. He is learning, over time, just what Hiccup's pains are and what caused them, and that will help him in moving forward with his son. Yes, Valka will make an appearance in this story, eventually. That hasn't changed. I hope you liked the new chapter!
Lovetoread89: Thank you! I'm glad you found my story and liked it. Hiccup has had a rough life, hasn't he? But it is getting better for him, and he is starting to heal.
Yuvimalik: Oh no! Don't die of waiting, I'm sorry! I hope you liked this new chapter! I'm posting new chapters for a few other stories today as well! And thank you so much for those kinds words and compliments! They mean a lot to me.
Just a bored Highschooler: Haha, yeah, I made this quite the emotional story, didn't I? Thanks for reading and reviewing!