Author Notes: As you saw the previous chapter, Azumi was close to death's door only to be saved at the last second by Lindow and the other God Eaters. I wished to make it clear that Azumi would have died either by the Aragami or from blood loss without immediate help. She saw in that situation that the practical solution was to offer herself up as the decoy since it didn't make any sense for anyone else to be put in danger.
Once again, it is a real shame to not get any reviews for my work in the previous chapter. It is rather depressing that this story will be wrapping up with a whimper in terms of overall reception. Regardless, I will press on with completing this story.
I hope you enjoy reading this chapter and will provide your feedback. It will be greatly appreciated.
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Past is Prologue
Chapter Thirteen: Behind the Walls
/
This was journey's end
This is what we all worked for
Not what we wanted
/
Fenrir was supposed to be a stronghold for humanity. A place of safety behind the walls that guarded the people against the Aragami. A place no one had to worry about the Aragami, and they could live their lives in peace. Some would equate it to be the closest thing to Eden on earth. While that may have been true to an 'extent' for those that are allowed in, it was no so for those that were forced to remain on the outside.
Azumi and Yu were among the select few that were allowed to enter this fortress. Their blood made them compatible to become God Eaters. That is why they would be allowed in with open arms. Despite that, Yu did not feel like celebrating his successful admission into Fenrir. Not after what happened afterwards. Especially not when his sister was in the condition she was in.
Yu stared at his comatose sister. She remained perfectly still, but he could see her chest rising and falling as she took a breath. He could feel at ease knowing she was alive. Unfortunately, for the past couple of days, her eyes refused to budge. As her eyes remained closed, she had an expression on her face that he had difficulty describing.
The first words that came to his mind was, 'blissful' not a word he'd normally associate with her, but it was the only one that he could think of. Azumi's eyes remained tightly shut with no chance of opening. Even though her body was wrapped up in the bed sheets, he knew she was covered by bandages. He bit his lips at the thought. Despite all the pain, she should be in, she appeared to be smiling as she laid there in the hospital bed. Yu could only image what his sister was experiencing in her dreams. They must have been far more peaceful than anything that they've been through.
Yu had been sitting on the chair for some time. He didn't keep track of how much time had passed until the sound of the door opening caused him to turn his head. He saw it was noon. Two people, Lindow and Sayaka, had entered the hospital wing, and they were both carrying food trays.
When Lindow stepped in, he said, "I see she still hasn't woken up yet."
Yu looked down as he said, "No …"
"You won't have worry too much about it, kid." Lindow began to say, "Everything is gonna be just …"
Before Lindow could finish what he was saying, he felt Sayaka nudge him as she attempted to whisper, "Um, sir … You might …"
Unfortunately, it was too late. An energy could be felt radiating from Yu who slowly turned his seat to face them. Neither said a word as the young boy stared in their direction. In a low voice he spoke, "Don't worry too much?" He repeated, "Don't worry too much?! Is something wrong with you?! She's my sister!"
"Okay … Okay …" Lindow conceded, "Poor choice of words. I meant to say the doctors are telling me she's expected to wake up anytime. She's recovering just fine."
"…" Yu bit his lip before looking at his sister as he told them, "I was never worried about that."
"I see you have a lot of faith in her." Lindow commented.
"..." Yu did not say a word this time.
Sayaka merely said, "Captain."
Lindow sighed as he held his tray with one hand while he used his other to scratch the back of his head, "Maybe you should deal with this, Sayaka." He then tapped out as he softly said, "Dealing with kids isn't exactly my specialty."
"Hmm …" Sayaka stepped forward with the food tray as she said, "Yu-san we brought you and your sister something to eat, but I guess we'll have to put her food to the side for now." Lindow merely nodded his head.
Yu remained staring at Azumi as he spoke, "Thanks but no thanks … I'm not hungry …"
Sayaka looked to Lindow who shrugged his shoulder, "Are you sure?"
"No …" Yu looked in Sayaka's direction, "Don't get me wrong. It smells good. Better than a lot of stuff I've eaten, but I just can't bring myself to eat …"
"I see …" Sayaka simply told Yu, "Don't worry. I understand." Sayaka then held the tray closer to Yu as she told them, "We're not gonna force you to eat, but you should try eating at some point. Your sister won't like it if you're not taking care of yourself."
"…" Yu glanced at the tray and picked up a loaf of bread. He held it in front of his mouth and began eating it.
Both Sayaka and Lindow glanced at each other and Lindow merely shrugged again. Sayaka sighed as she put the tray next to Yu. "If you want anymore. You can eat when you want to."
Yu barely gave them a look as he softly spoke, "Thanks …"
"You're welcome." Sayaka looked over to Lindow whose tray was hovering over the table next to Azumi's bed. When he looked over to Sayaka, she merely nodded, and he put the tray down.
Lindow then spoke up, "A little food can go a long way kid. Let's see if the smell of good food will wake her up."
Yu looked hopeful as he asked, "Could it?"
"It could." Lindow grinned as he told Yu, "You'd be surprised how smell can stir up people."
"I hope …" Yu then looked back at his sister, "I hope you're right."
"Me too." Lindow then said, "Trust me, kid. We all want her to wake up."
"Hmm …" Yu asked, "Tell me what do you think of my sister?"
Lindow was taken aback by the unexpected question, "What do I think …? I don't really know her, but she seems like a good person. She clearly cares about you. I saw what she was willing to do for you and your cousin."
"To me, she's the best person I know. She's the one who raised me." Yu clarified, "It wasn't my parents who raised me. She did. She did most of the work. She taught me to survive."
"…" Sayaka and Lindow remained silent as they could see there was more needed to be said.
"Have … Have you ever killed …" Yu then shook his head as he corrected himself, "No. I know you two have killed before. Plenty of Aragami, right?"
"Yes." Lindow stated the obvious, "That's been our mission. Why?"
Yu asked, "Have you ever killed a person?"
"…" Both Sayaka and Lindow were taken aback.
"I'll take that as a no." Yu then told them, "My sister has killed to protect herself and me. You wouldn't believe the monsters we went up against. They were no Aragami. They were monsters that pretended to be human." Yu put his hand on his stomach as he told them, "You know the hole in my sister's gut? One of those monsters did that to her because she protected me. If my sister hadn't killed her, we both would be dead."
"…" Neither Sayaka nor Lindow had a response.
Before either could say a word, Yu set the record straight, "And don't think my sister goes around looking for an excuse to kill people because she doesn't. She was merciful to one person, and he repaid her by trying to slice off her face." Yu drew a line down his face as he spoke.
Sayaka cringed at the thought while Lindow looked at Azumi's unconscious form and put his hand on his cheek.
"Another time, some asshole held me hostage, and she warned him to let me go. She warned him more than once, and he …" Yu shook his head, "just didn't … She's killed to save my life more than once." With conviction, Yu told them, "I may not have grown up in the original society, but I know what 'murder' is. That was not murder." Yu then looked Lindow in the eyes and asked, "Are you gonna tell me I'm wrong? Would you say she's committed murder?"
Without hesitation, Lindow answer, "No."
"Of …" Sayaka was more hesitant but concurred, "Of course not …"
"Well, that didn't matter to some of the people in our group." Yu looked back at Azumi's unconscious form as he told them, "Some tried to get her kicked out. Some even tried to sell her out just because she was willing to kill. It didn't matter to them that it was in self-defense. I don't know much about the old world besides what I've been told, but I heard that the Japanese would treat people like her as a phir … phara …" Yu groaned in frustration as he said, "I don't know the word. All I know it's bad. People who killed other people even in self-defense are basically shunned. Those old-timers couldn't let go of the fact that people out there wouldn't give a crap about what the old ways were."
"Hmm …" Lindow didn't give much of a response.
"So tell me." Yu looked at them in the eyes as he inquired, "Do you think less of my sister knowing this? Are you going to abandon her? Are you …?"
Before Yu could ask another question, Lindow answer, "No."
"Going to …" Yu felt himself get stopped in his tracks, "What?"
"No." Without a second thought, Lindow told Yu, "We will not abandon her, and I don't think less of her."
Sayaka followed up with, "Me neither."
"Really?" Even though Yu did not know either of these two, there was something about them that Yu felt good about. Something he could trust. Their words felt sincere.
"Kid …" Lindow put his hands on his hips as he shook his head, "I can't imagine what you've been through. When we go out there, it is hell, but we get to come back here after we're done. You guys didn't have that. Besides," Lindow looked up, "with all the people Fenrir has turned away … Fenrir's hands aren't exactly clean either."
Sayaka nodded, "Hmm …"
"I see … You … You don't know how much that means to me … That means to her …" Yu couldn't find the words to complete his thought.
"You're also lucky it was us that you told this to." Lindow warned, "Other people may not be so open minded. I suggest you keep those stories to yourself, especially for your sister's sake."
"Understood." Yu bowed his head slightly, "Thank you."
As they spoke, there was a knocking on the door. It was none other than Minato who was there and spoke up, "Excuse me. I'm sorry if I'm disrupting something."
"Ah. The 'cousin'." Lindow spoke up, "There's nothing to worry about. You are family."
"I was hoping to speak with Yu privately." Minato inquired, "That wouldn't be a problem, would it?"
"Why would it be?" Lindow then asked, "Would you like to get some fresh air, Yu? I'll keep an eye on your sister." He then added, "Your sister would want you do something else with your time and spend time with your other family."
"…" Yu took a breath before saying, "Okay. Please tell me when she wakes up."
"You have my word." Lindow held up his hand, "Man to man." It was a gesture that Yu was willing to accept, and they shook hands.
After Yu left the room, Sayaka then said, "You handled that much better, Captain."
"I was able to get the feel for him." Lindow leaned back in the chair, "The kid has been through enough."
"Yes …" Sayaka sighed before inquiring, "About what he said …"
"You don't dislike her now, do you?" Lindow inquired.
"No." Sayaka held her hand to her chest, "I understand that she did a lot for her brother … Someone like that shouldn't be … You know …"
"I agree." Lindow then said, "But I stand by what I said. It's best we keep this to ourselves.
"Agreed …" Sayaka looked down.
"But," Lindow looked on Azumi as he remarked, "Something tells me that this is someone that Soma might actually get along with."
/
Minato and Yu were walking down the hallway of the building within the God Eater Headquarters. There were not too many people in the area they were in, so the hallway was pretty much their own at the moment. However, Yu could not bring himself to say a word as he looked down. Minato was not certain what he should say to break the silence.
"So um …" Minato scratched the back of his head as he attempted to think of something.
"I heard they hired you." Yu spoke up, "Congratulations."
"Thank you …" Minato uneasily replied.
"You always had talent. Imagination." Yu's voice sounded monotone as he spoke, "I'm sure you'll do plenty of good for Sis when she becomes a God Eater."
"I'll do what I can …" Minato then asked, "Are you going to be okay, Yu?"
"That was never an issue …" Yu answered.
"Right …" Minato then said, "I was talking to the doctors, and they said she'll pull through. They took care of all the bleeding. They were really impressed with how much strength she has."
"…" Yu sighed, "I just wish she'd wake up already …"
"She …" Minato didn't wish to be blunt, but he had to, "… She did lose a lot of blood."
"Yes. I was there." Yu then asked, "What about you?"
"That was …" Minato reluctantly stated, "Not my blood."
"Didn't think so … I … I …" Yu took a deep breath as he came to a standstill and then felt the need to lean against the wall. Minato took a step toward him only for Yu to hold out his hand. Minato kept his distance as Yu then said, "I'm sorry I didn't …"
"It's fine." Minato replied.
Yu remained leaning on the wall as he told Minato, "I'm glad that you made it with us …"
"I never expected to … But now …" Minato simply told him, "I don't know how to feel …"
Yu admitted, "Neither do I."
/
After what felt like an eternity, the eyes of Azumi slowly opened. The opening was slow, and they struggled to adjust to the light. The ceiling that was above her was completely different from any she had seen before. She could also feel that she was lying on something soft. It was a feeling she had not felt in a long time. It felt completely foreign to her.
Everything about her felt completely off. Her mind felt as if it didn't belong in the body she inhabited. It just felt wrong. She didn't know how to process anything until she heard something.
A male voice spoke, "Looks like she's waking up. Could you go get the brother?"
Then a female voice spoke, "Of course."
Azumi slowly raised her head to see a man in a brown trench coat who was sitting at the chair next to the bed that she was inhabiting. He then spoke, "It's about time."
The man next to her was Lindow. The God Eater. She knew what she saw, but this didn't feel right. Azumi proceeded to pinch her skin, and she could feel it. She was here.
"You're alive." Lindow added, "Just in case, you didn't realize that yet."
"How?" That was the only word Azumi could mutter.
"Your brother and cousin for one." Lindow replied.
"Yu?" Azumi's eyes widened before her body moved forward on the bed, "What happened to him? Where is he?"
"He's fine." Lindow held up his hands as he assured her, "Sayaka is fetching him now. You'll be able to talk to him soon."
It was then that Azumi felt she could allow herself to sink into the bed. There was a sense of ease that washed over her. However, this also gave her a moment to consider something else. Azumi realized that her body was clean, and she was wearing fresh clothes. Her face quickly began to glow red at the thought.
"If it makes you feel any better," Lindow appeared to catch on to what Azumi was thinking as he assured her, "Female nurse were the ones that took care of you. I didn't see a thing."
Azumi took a breath before replying, "That's only slightly better." She was still beaming red.
Lindow then replied, "Can't say I blame you."
"Well …" Azumi's face was still flushed as she then said, "That's not important."
"Glad to see you know your priorities." Lindow sounded rather amused as he then said, "That's a good sign."
"If Yu is fine then … the other guy …" Azumi hesitantly asked, "Was he …?"
"Your cousin is fine too." Lindow told her, "You know, the kid and your cousin told me what you did back there. How you used yourself as bait for the Aragami. How if anyone had to die, it might as well be you. That was pretty ballsy and practical."
Azumi felt herself tense up as she asked, "Are you gonna say I was wrong? That I was stupid? Just so you know, I don't regret it, and I'd do it all over again."
Lindow shook his head, "Actually, no. I wasn't."
"I …" Azumi paused, "What?"
"Listen, I would prefer my comrades to get out of a mission alive, but that's not always gonna be possible." Lindow gave Azumi the facts, "Shit happens. It always does. You guys had your backs to the wall, and you made a practical choice. You were already pretty close to death, and you figured you might as well not get anyone else killed. That about covers it? Or am I missing anything else?"
Azumi took a breath before replying, "No … I've got nothing else to add."
"Okay, then." Lindow then said, "Well, let's just be glad you didn't die this time. You're allowed to stick around a little longer. What you choose to do with your time is up to you."
"Aren't I supposed to become a God Eater? That's why you guys were gonna let me and Yu in, wasn't it?" Azumi inquired, "Because we're compatible to become a God Eater, right?"
"You're not entirely wrong." Lindow bluntly answered, "It is expected that at least one of you should become a God Eater, but it doesn't mean both of you need to."
"…" Azumi was silent as she listened.
"Plus. You both have genes that make you compatible." Lindow stated, "Genes that would be good to get passed on or maybe experimented with. Either of you could take that option if you wanted."
"Out of the question," Azumi answered without hesitation or reservation. "You guys want a God Eater, and I'll be your God Eater. You can do whatever you need to do to me as soon as I'm out of this bed."
Lindow replied, "I was expecting you'd say something like that."
"And my brother ..." Azumi asked the question that had been in the back of her head, "Will he need to become a God Eater, too?"
"Not necessarily, but it is up to him." Lindow then told Azumi, "Since you're so willing, he'll have more freedom with what he can do."
Azumi sighed in relief. She wasn't going to bother hiding it at this point. She couldn't say a word, but that was all Lindow needed to see.
Lindow decided to then add, "Just so you know, your brother won't become a God Eater now even if he wanted to be."
"What?" Azumi tensed and sat up as she asked, "Is there … Something wrong with him?"
"No." Lindow shook his head as he casually told her, "He's just too young."
Azumi tilted her head, "Too young?"
"Are you familiar with the Army and …" Lindow paused, "Actually, never mind, you were probably around ten or something when this happened right?"
Azumi answered, "More or less."
Lindow explained, "In the old days, different countries had armies. I heard how the in the US, you had be a minimum age to even enlist while others would draft you once you reached a certain age. Anyway, it kind of works that way for God Eaters, but for practical purposes. You need to be at least fifteen years old. Apparently, it is easier to become a God Eater after you're at least that old so any risks in becoming one drops a lot."
"Risks?" Azumi leaned forward, "What kind of risks?"
Lindow held up his bracelet as he answered, "I don't really know the specifics. You'd have to ask one of the scientists if you're curious. All I know is that it 'could' be bad."
"In that case," Azumi concluded, "are you saying my brother would have two years?"
"You could say that." Lindow then inquired, "Is there something you would like to say to me?"
"I'm thinking, I'm thinking …" Azumi held her hand to her chin as she then asked, "Do the risks decrease after fifteen? If someone does it at sixteen, does it cause any harm?"
"Not that I know of." Lindow then asked, "What're you getting at?"
"First," Azumi then inquired, "Did the doctors tell you anything about me …?"
"No." Lindow stated, "Patient confidentiality and all that good stuff. So you're gonna have to talk to him about your injuries, but I do know about that stab wound. It was a real nasty bit of business. Whatever did that to you, it got you good. Personally, I'm surprised you lived as long as you did."
Azumi stated, "I kept pushing myself."
"They did tell me that you must've had a strong will to live, so that's all good." Lindow seemed pleased as he told her, "Sometimes the will to live is all anyone needs to make it out alive."
"I'm guessing that it's been enough for you." Azumi concluded.
"Of course." Lindow stated, "I'm sure you can imagine the type of missions I've been on. Saving you was easy compared to others."
"In that case, this should be easy." Azumi stated, "You know what kind of God Eater I'll be. I will give it my all to make it out of the missions you give me. I won't let you down. In exchange for becoming your God Eater as soon as I possibly can, I would like to request an amendment for my brother's case."
"Hmm …" Lindow considered Azumi words for a moment before replying, "Okay. Let's hear it."
"You say the risks decrease after fifteen." Azumi then inquired, "Does it go up when someone is sixteen?"
"Not to my knowledge." Lindow replied.
"Then, that's my amendment." Azumi stated, "I want my brother to reach sixteen before he can become a God Eater."
"Interesting." Lindow then inquired, "Any particular reason?"
"Just time." Azumi said, "That's all I ask for. I want him to have time. Can you do that for me?"
"It's reasonable." Lindow stated, "I'll have to run it by the higher ups, but I think they'll be willing to allow it."
"Thank you." Azumi once again sounded relieved.
/
It wasn't long until her brother Yu returned to her hospital room. Lindow decided it would be best to take his leave for the time being to give them some room. Minato did the same, so the Kannagi siblings were left by themselves to discuss what just happened.
"So …" Azumi looked over the room as she said, "This is really Fenrir … We both really made it after all."
"We did …" Yu replied in a solemn tone.
"Lindow-san told me that I made it here alive …" Azumi asked, "I didn't imagine it, right? It wasn't some kind of blood lost nightmare was it?"
Yu shook his head, "No … It was all real."
"I … I wanted to ask them, but I couldn't … I need to ask you …." Azumi leaned forward as she asked, "Yu, what happened to mom? What happened to dad?"
"I …" Yu look down as he told her, "I don't know."
Azumi's widened, "What?"
Yu explained, "After the God Eaters saved you, I told them about what happened at the camp. When they investigated, they didn't find anyone."
Azumi repeated, "What?"
"I … I …" Yu took a breath before answering, "They found blood. A lot of blood. Ripped up tents. Turned over cars. No people."
Azumi replied, "But … But all the Aragami followed us, and there were people alive."
Yu stated, "Lindow-san believed more Aragami showed up."
"…" Azumi could only bite her lip as she thought that over.
"We don't know if they're all or …" Yu took a breath, "There was just nothing that could be found. They did see that a couple of vehicles were missing so there …"
Azumi finished in a hopeful tone, "There's a chance."
"Yes, but …" Yu did not share that optimism, "I have no idea what could've happened to them."
Azumi had no idea what she should be feeling at that moment. Should she be crying and mourning? Should she be relived they might've gotten away? Azumi was certain that Yu must've been feeling just as conflicted."
All Azumi could do was open her arms and say, "Come here."
At first, Yu smiled only to frown and ask, "What about your injuries?"
Azumi's arm remained wide open as she replied, "What about them?" Taking the hint, the Kannagi sibling embraced.
It didn't matter whether they should be mourning the disappearance of their family or be happy there was hope they could've gotten away. This was a difficult situation. A difficult situation such as this needed a hug. A simple but warm gesture that was enough to tell someone that they were not alone. A much needed reminder.
It was a moment that no one should ever interrupt. When Lindow was about to open the door, he saw the siblings. He wisely decided to step back. He would come back a little later to see how they were holding up.
/
Yu had to excuse himself when a Fenrir doctor came to give her a checkup. Yu had to wait outside, and he was unable to listen to what they were talking about. Lindow informed him about 'Doctor Patient Confidentially', and it was not his place to listen in to what the doctor had to tell his sister. Yu understood that much, and he knew that he should give them privacy. All he could do was wait outside until it was time.
After the doctor left the Azumi's room, Yu caught a brief look at the doctor. When Yu looked at that expression, he felt a shortness of breath. The doctor seemed to forget that Yu was there as he attempted to brighten up and tell Yu that his sister was waiting for him.
As soon as Yu entered the room, he asked, "Sis, are you sure you're gonna be okay?"
"Um … Yeah." Azumi told him, "I'll live …"
Yu pointed toward the door as he said, "But that doctor. He seemed so …"
"He was just warning me about how close I was …" Azumi took a breath before telling him, "He wanted to make it clear I was 'really' pushing my luck."
"Well …" Yu grabbed Azumi's hand as he told her, "Maybe you shouldn't be pushing your luck anymore."
Azumi put her hand on top of Yu's as she told him, "Yu, someone has to become the God Eater."
Yu began to say, "Then, I ca-"
"No!" Azumi cut him off as she tightened her grip on Yu's hand. That was enough to cause Yu's lips to close and remain that way as she told him, "You're too young!"
"But I … I …" Yu weakly attempted to protest.
"I said no!" Azumi repeated, "You're are too young! You got that?"
Yu involuntarily nodded his head, "Yes …"
"Glad you're listening." Azumi then told him, "You couldn't become a God Eater even if you wanted to. Lindow already told me that."
"Really?" Yu seemed surprised by that. "I can't become one now?"
"No." Azumi stated, "Lindow-san already told me how it's too risky for someone too young. Someone like me will be just fine though."
"Sis …" Yu looked at his sister as he said, "You're not well though …"
"I'll recover." Azumi then stated, "I'll get better. After I recover, they'll put me through training. It's not like they're just gonna throw me out there right away. If I die, it'll be a waste to them, and they need God Eaters out there. A well trained God Eater."
"Still … You … I …" Yu barely had any words.
"That's enough about that." Azumi told him, "I'm more worried about you. Lindow told me how worried you've been about me. Don't starve yourself for me."
"I know I just … You …" Yu felt his words nearly getting swallowed as he said, "You're just all that's left …"
Azumi didn't need help understanding Yu's question. It was a question that lingered in the back of her head as well, but she knew what Lindow told her. Even without his word, she knew the reality of this situation. She sighed as she gave Yu an honest answer, "Yes … I know they're gone, Yu ... They're gone …" Azumi looked away as she repeated.
Azumi still thought back to when their father was running back towards the Aragami situation. Neither knew what happened after that. They understood that they probably won't ever know the truth. Neither needed any other reminder of their parents' fates.
Azumi held out her arm, "Come here."
Yu hugged his sister and she gripped him as tightly as she could. Yu could only mutter, "I just … I can't …"
"Shh ..." Azumi continued to hold her brother, "It's okay … I miss them, too."
"Why did this have to happen?" Yu questioned, "We were so close."
"I know …" Azumi cleared his throat, "I'm sorry, but I can't answer that … They just … We just got unlucky."
Yu repeated his earlier sentiment, "You're all I have left, Sis."
Azumi assured him, "And I'm not going anyway. I promise you."
"You are … You are ..." Yu hugged her tighter, "You're going to leave me behind."
"But I'll come back." Azumi told him in no uncertain terms, "You know I will."
Yu asked, "How do you know that?"
"Because …" Azumi separated them, so she could look Yu in the eyes, "you're about to hear me make a promise. A promise that I will be sure to keep now until the end. I will always come back, and I will see you as much as I can. Does that sound good?"
Yu inquired, "What's the end?"
Azumi smiled, "We'll find that out together, Yu. Okay?"
Yu asked again, "… You'll really be there?"
Azumi answered, "That's a promise, Little Brother."
"Okay …" Yu replied, "We'll see the end."
"I promise," Azumi hugged her brother again as she declared, "I'll do what I can to make sure it is a happy end."
/
After Yu took his leave, it was finally time for Minato speak with Azumi. It was actually Azumi that that requested his audience. Since he was their 'cousin', it was only natural Azumi would wish to speak with him. However, he would have wished to speak with her anyway since he was concerned regarding her wellbeing.
"So you wanted to speak with me?" Minato asked.
"I'm …" There was a hint of disbelief in Azumi's voice as she asked, "I'm really here, right? This isn't some kind of dream or illusion … I'm right here … Right now?"
"Um …" Minato's was understandably dumbfounded as he struggled to give an answer, "Yes … We're both here. Is there a problem?"
"I …" Azumi looked down as she said, "I know we are. It's just … It feels surreal … Like how can this possibly be real? You get me?"
"Well …" Minato admitted, "It was a lot closer than … First, those assholes hunted us down, then those Aragami came after us when we were still down. It was a miracle we could survive that even with the God Eaters helping us."
"Exactly." Azumi fingers curled up as she clawed into her bedsheets, "I know I should be grateful … I know I should be happy, but … It feels too weird … Too wrong …"
"Azumi …" Minato softly said out loud, but he didn't offer anything to follow it up.
"It really felt like what happened last week was supposed to be it for me." Azumi couldn't look Minato in the eye as her fingers continued to dig into the sheets. "That's how it should've gone, but I'm still here …" Azumi shook her head, "I get to live to tell the tale … The past is my prologue …. I'm glad to be here, but it also feels wrong at the same time …"
"Don't think like that, Azumi-san." Minato assured her, "You are supposed to be here with all of us."
"Am I really … I just …" Azumi held her stomach as she said, "I just feel weird …"
Minato could only say, "Azumi …"
Azumi held onto her body as she involuntarily shook her body, "I … I can't shake this feeling … I want to, but I just can't …"
"Azumi … I …" Minato was as honest as he could be, "I don't really know what to say."
"Say something … Anything …" Azumi begged.
"Okay, I …" It took Minato a moment. Suddenly, he felt a number of ideas begin swirling in his head in rapid succession. He quickly settled on the first one that came to mind, "Anyone who has had as many near-death experiences as you would feel weird. It's only natural, right?"
"…" Azumi didn't give a response, but Minato had an idea what her answer was.
"Anyway," Minato then stated the obvious, "you've had more than your fair share. This was probably your closest, but you still lived. You and your brother worked together and made that possible."
"I know … I know …" Azumi spoke with full sincerity, "I'm glad I survived. I always will be … I don't want to die."
Minato then said, "Of course, you would."
Azumi sighed, "… I guess it does feel good to get things out in the open."
"I'm glad you decided to talk to me, but why me?" Minato inquired.
"Because …" Azumi answered, "I just needed to talk to someone else. Someone who wasn't Yu or a God Eater."
"I … understand …" Minato then asked, "Are you … feeling okay Azumi?"
Azumi held her stomach and her head, "Besides, the pain … I feel … I feel empty."
"…" Minato's jaw slackened as he was taken aback. There was nothing that came to mind that he could come up with a response to that. All he could do was listen to what Azumi had to say before he could get his bearings.
"Maybe …" Azumi admitted, "Maybe 'empty' isn't the right word, but I don't know … All I know is they're dead …" Azumi glanced over to Minato as she rhetorically asked, "They're all dead, aren't they? It's just me, you and my brother, right? Right?"
"…" Minato didn't say a word.
"Right?" Azumi pleaded as she repeated the question.
Minato finally answered with a soft, "I think so …"
"…" Azumi glanced away and looked down at her bed covers as she asked out loud, "How am I still here?"
Minato asked, "Excuse me?"
Azumi repeated, "How am I still here when they're all dead?"
"It's because you …" Minato answered, "Because you're alive."
"I know that, but how am I still alive?" Azumi pointed out, "I was nearly decapitated not that long ago. I was stabbed in the gut with a really, really long knife. I was bleeding so much, I probably should've bleed to death. If that wasn't enough, I was chased by those monsters and nearly eaten. How in the hell am I still here after all that?"
"…" Minato was not sure how to reply.
Azumi repeated her inquiry, "How can I still be alive when so many are dead? Why am I still alive when they're dead?'
In a matter of fact tone, Minato answered, "… Because you're a survivor, Azumi. That's how you're alive. That's what we all respect about you."
"…" It was Azumi's turn to be speechless.
"Everyone else maybe gone, but you still have your brother and me." Minato told her, "I know that might not mean much, but not everything is gone. We both want you to live Azumi, and I know you want to live too. Isn't that enough?"
"I … I …" Azumi struggled to find a word to speak.
Minato puts his hand on hers, "I don't blame you for feeling conflicted … I'm … I'm a little mixed up too. What happened was … it was unreal. I still have a hard time believing what happened or how we lived through it, but it happened. We did. We need to keep that in mind."
"I guess you're right …" Azumi then shook her head, "No. I know you're right?"
Minato merely replied, "I do my best."
Azumi required, "Do you mind keeping what we talked about from Yu? He kind of thinks there is still hope for the others … We did kind of break down that they're gone, but I don't think he's completely accepted that their dead."
"He needs to know the truth someday." Minato replied.
"One day." Azumi stated, "He needs some more hope than that …"
"Okay." Minato replied, "I'll play along for now, but you should know. He wants to be strong like you. Try not to let him down."
Azumi declared, "I don't plan to."
Minato smiled, "Glad to hear it. That's more like the Azumi I know."
/
When Azumi's recovery had nearly come to an end, she received another visit from Sayaka. Azumi couldn't help but feel comfortable around her. She gave off a rather friendly vibe. A far more friendlier vibe than Lindow. Unlike him, she was less about business.
Sayaka apologetically told Azumi, "I'm sorry we couldn't find any of your people."
"…" Azumi wasn't sure how to reply.
"There's just no words I can …" Sayaka shook her head as she trailed off.
Azumi then replied, "I don't have many words either, but I appreciate this …"
Sayaka stated, "I just want you to know that you can take your time."
"Don't worry. I know what I need to do." Azumi sat herself up on the bed as she told Sayaka, "As soon as I can get out of this bed, I'm gonna get ready to be a God Eater."
Sayaka cautioned, "Are you sure you want to do it that quickly?"
"I have to. I can't just …" Azumi lightly bit her lip as she told Sayaka, "I can't just eat myself up and keep thinking about that."
"I understand." Sayaka let out another breath as she told Azumi, "I'm sorry … I had a bunch of this I planned on saying in my head, but I'm just drawing a blank now. I'm sorry …"
Azumi shrugged, "It happens …"
"But I will say this." Sayaka stated, "I know you probably talked about this with Lindow, but I know about how you protected your family. How you acted as a distraction so your brother and cousin could get away. That was brave of you. I can't think of many people who would do that, but you are definitely someone who deserves recognition for that."
"I …" Azumi simply said, "I appreciate that …"
Sayaka repeated, "You are brave. You did something that you knew would get you killed, but you did it for them."
"And I survived." Azumi looked at Sayaka and asked, "Was that you?"
Sayaka asked her own question, "Was what me?"
"I know you're a gunner." Azumi repeated her inquiry, "Were you the only one that shot those Aragami?"
Sayaka answered, "Not just me, but I was there."
"I … I owe you my life." Azumi bowed her head slightly, "Thank you."
"Just doing my job." Sayaka grimly remarked, "I'm just glad I was able to save someone."
Azumi replied, "I take it you're not always able to get there in time."
"Unfortunately." Sayaka then told her, "Luckily for you, we were all able to spot those Aragami chasing after you. They made an extremely easy target, so you helped make our rescue easier to pull off."
Azumi couldn't help but feel pleased by that as she told her, "Glad to know I was able to do something useful."
Sayaka began to say, "Kannagi-san, I …"
"Call me Azumi." Azumi assured her, "You might as well."
"Okay. Azumi." Sayaka told her, "Just remember about what happened before. I know you were doing the best in a bad situation, so I think you did the best you could. Never forget that."
/
When Azumi was finally ready to get out of bed, Lindow did not hesitate to escort her to the gym. There Azumi could see a wide space with various pieces of equipment scattered throughout the area. Several items were things Azumi could not say she was familiar with.
Azumi looked in Lindow's direction as he told her, "It goes without saying you will need to do a little rehab training before we can turn you into a God Eater." He held up the bracelet that was attached to his wrist as he told her, "The last thing we need is for you to not be at your best before you get started, so a trainer will help you with exercising and setting up a regiment."
"That makes sense." Azumi touched her stomach as she told him, "I can't say that I exactly feel like someone who could become a God Eater right now."
Lindow replied, "That's why we're gonna get started so we can remedy that."
"So what should I do first?" Azumi inquired, "Any suggestions?"
"Whatever you do, I suggest stretches first." Lindow advised, "Best to loosen up your muscles. Then, just pay attention to your trainer."
"Right …" Azumi nodded.
"By the way," Lindow informed Azumi, "I ran your request over with the higher ups, and they agreed to it."
"They did?" Azumi sounded excited.
"Don't be too happy." Lindow informed her, "Since he won't be joining us right now, he can't live with you."
Azumi's heart went from feeling high to sinking as she asked, "What …?"
"Don't be too surprised." Lindow stated, "If he isn't gonna be a God Eater, he can't be using the facilities. It can only be used by God Eaters and those in training like you along with other authorized personnel like that cousin of yours."
"Then, what's gonna happen to my brother?" Azumi asked in alarm.
"Don't worry about him." Lindow stated, "I already made his living arrangements regarding the family he will be staying with. For the time being, your brother will be saying with a family in the lower region. They are also related to one of my fellow God Eaters. Even his family can't live with him here, so this is par for the course. While their home may not have our accommodations, I can assure you that they'll be better than being outside the walls."
Azumi sighed, "He'll be happy?"
"That's up to him." Lindow told her, "You'll be able to visit him when you can. I'm sure he'll be happy about that."
Azumi then asked, "Is that how it has to be?"
"Yes." Lindow confirmed, "It does. Will you accept it?"
"There's no point in complaining." Azumi answered.
"That's better." Lindow stated. "Good luck with your exercising. I'll check in on you later."
/
Azumi lost track of how long she had been exercising for. She had no need to be curious. The goal was in front of her and she wasn't gonna stop until she had to.
After what felt like a long time, she found herself lying on the floor with her feet outstretched. Her feet were pointing in the air. She slowly lowered them before raising them up again. She could feel the pressuring building in her back and legs with each rep. She could feel the sweat rolling down her face. All her work was manifesting, and it was satisfying.
As Azumi was finishing a rep, Lindow spoke up, "That's enough for today."
"But …" Azumi struggled to sit up as she protested, "I can go further. The trainer said I could."
Lindow advised her, "Try saving that pushing your limits stuff for later. Just focus on getting in shape. Otherwise, it'll backfire."
Azumi didn't attempt to protest and went along with his instruction.
/
Another day came, and Azumi was running on a treadmill. It was device Azumi could vaguely recall seeing in the old world, but it still seemed rather foreign to her. She stopped in a singular spot while giving her body the illusion of running a great distance while she is an actually running on a rotating mat underneath her feet.
Azumi could set the speed and inclination to her liking. The machine was able to keep track of how far she ran, how many calories she lost, and how long she's been running. By the time she reached a half hour, she managed to run approximately four miles. While Azumi had no way to verify this, she believed it based on the sweat trickily down her face. She was also beginning to breathe heavily as she kept up the pace.
/
It was yet another day. Azumi stood in the middle of the room. She remained balancing on her right foot as she stood in a tree pose with her left food resting on her knee. She would take deep breaths as she attempted to remain still.
As Azumi was doing this, Sayaka made her presence known as she walked in, "I see you've recovered pretty nicely."
Azumi shook up a little, but she was able to maintain her balance before she replied, "I can't exactly stay stuck in a hospital bed. It won't do me or anyone else any good. I got a little brother, and I can't let him down."
"I see." Sayaka looked Azumi up and down as she walked around her, "You have an 'admirable' resolve. I wish more had that."
"Thank you." Azumi did her best to remain focused as she answered, "I plan on putting that to use after I become a God Eater."
Sayaka stopped in front of Azumi as she replied, "You definitely have the right drive to become one. I'm sure you of all people don't need me to tell you that it won't be an easy job though."
Azumi replied, "Believe me I know."
"You won't be in this alone." Sayaka assured Azumi, "We have lots of missions that have people work in groups. When you're getting started, we'll be sure to pair you up, so you'll get used to the ropes."
"I guess you'll be one of them?" Azumi rhetorically asked.
"Yes." Sayaka replied, "I look forward to working with you."
"Me too." Azumi replied.
/
For the next few weeks, Azumi kept cycling through these exercises it was a month before Lindow finally asked, "How's your body feeling, Azumi?"
"A little tired, but …" Azumi remained standing as she looked Lindow in the eye, "I'm much better now."
"Good." Lindow sounded rather pleased, "I believe it's almost time."
Azumi took a step forward, "You mean time for me to become a God Eater?"
"Yes." Lindow confirmed, "You've made great progress in your recovery, and I believed you've back to your old self. You will rest up today. Tomorrow will be your day."
Azumi stood up straight and saluted, "Thank you, Captain."
"At ease." Lindow waved it off, "No need to get crazy formal now." He then took his leave, so Azumi could gather her thoughts.
The time had almost come. Kannagi Azumi would become a God Eater.
/
Author Notes: I'm satisfied with how things are turning out. I wanted Azumi to go through some of the levels of grief, but she primarily went through with them in the company of either Yu or Minato. She showed more to Minato since she wished to remain strong in front of her brother. Understandably, a part of her feels like she doesn't belong since for all accounts, she should be dead. Additionally, she feels a level of responsibility for how things went down. She feels she avoided karma for the time being.
It wouldn't be unusual for people to suffer through survivor's guilt. In fact, I would outright expect it. I think if I were to ever make a sequel to this story, I would go into great detail regarding Azumi's guilt, but that won't be the case here. In this story, Azumi is more or less trying to keep herself distracted and focused on a goal to move past it. While it might not be healthy, it isn't exactly the worst thing either since there are plenty of worse things people have done to get passed their survivor's guilt.
I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Please leave a review because the feedback is appreciated. See you next time.