A/N: I feel obligated to start putting in disclaimers for length — there's a long chapter ahead, so take a break if you need to.
One thing I learn about living in the Empire Pork Building is that things are never really boring. One day, the machines on the 96th floor are malfunctioning and I have to go and stop them, the next day, I'm making some dumplings with a robot and making a mess of the room.
It takes me a few attempts to get the dumplings right – I'm not exactly the most gentle person, a trait which is required when making the dough. Miss Marsh has been teaching me recipes every day, although it takes some time to master some of the harder ones (who knew making cotton candy was this hard?).
Still, over the course of 2 months, I've learned a number of recipes including the aforementioned dumplings as well as: steak, hummus, pizza (only just though), hamburgers, soup, sausages (Master Porky surprisingly likes to have these on occasion) cookies, lifenoodles, cake, PSI Caramels (which actually do help with my PSI) and of course, omelets.
I would have thought that I'd get tired of having the omelets, and yes, I do prefer some variety but if I ever don't know what to have, some omelets always make things better.
It's been a rather fun experience overall, learning how to cook all these things, especially with the help of Miss Marsh – she's very patient with me, and considering how some of my attempts to cook turn out... well... it's very much appreciated.
Still, even she has her limits as I found out during one memorable occasion, when I put too much water in my first Mach Pizza – it completely fell apart in the oven, and the only part of the pizza that fulfilled the 'mach' part of the name would be the 'machery' I made out of myself.
Miss Marsh had quite the meltdown after that incident and wouldn't let me try to make pizza again for 2 weeks. Still, with her assistance, I'm making lots of progress – with any luck, I should master all these recipes by the end of the month.
Despite all my cooking, I haven't neglected my combat training – the Fierce Pork Trooper has started timing how long it takes for me to take out the fifteen Pigmasks I train with.
My best time is 14 minutes and 32 seconds – less than a minute per Pigmask. The Fierce Pork Trooper has even suggested that I start training with other things, such as some of the robots that have been constructed.
I choose to go against sets of Octobots first – I wonder if the Pigmask Army worked these into Earthbound. The movie has given me a lot of information into how these things work, which gives me a bit of an advantage.
They're not exactly stronger than a Pigmask – but being a robot, they don't get tired, which provides a different sort of challenge. That, and the fact that they like to try and steal my stick.
However, it has indeed been pointed out that despite my abilities, I do lack leadership skills, which is fair enough — the only instance I can think of where I assumed any sort of leadership was during the time where Mr Geneator backfired and attacked the group of Pigmasks I was working with at the time.
In order to remedy this, over the past two months, I've also been learning about how to lead a unit effectively, specifically the Pigmasks I train with, as they are the ones that will be assigned to me if... no, when I become Commander.
Today, though, the Fierce Pork Trooper has prepared a... test of sorts, to see how good of a commander I actually am. I must admit... I'm more than a bit apprehensive.
See, when I asked the Fierce Pork Trooper what this test would be, his only response was "Prepare as if you were preparing for a war."
Yeah... that seems rather foreboding so I've made all the preparations for today and I'm going through them now with Miss Marsh.
"SO, COMMANDER, HERE IS EVERYTHING YOU HAVE REQUESTED FOR TODAY. FIRST, YOUR MASTER STICK, WHICH I HAVE POLISHED AND SMOOTHED OVER FOR YOU. I HOPE IT IS TO YOUR SATISFACTION."
She passes me the stick. True to her word, it looks as good as new.
"NEXT, 10 CALORIE STICKS, 10 PIECES OF SPICY JERKY AND 3 BOTTLES OF WATER IN CASE YOU GET DEHYDRATED."
She passes me a bag with all the consumables in them - they'll be useful in case I need a quick energy boost.
"Thank you, Miss Marsh. The stick is in perfect shape and these snacks will be useful in this test. You have my gratitude for doing this all on short notice."
"IT IS OF NO TROUBLE. ONE MORE THING THOUGH... WHILE I WAS MAKING DINNER FOR HIS HIGHNESS YESTERDAY, I HAD SOME INGREDIENTS LEFT OVER... SO I MADE THIS FOR YOU."
She holds out something wrapped in foil.
"Miss Marsh... you didn't have to. What... what is this?"
"IT IS A LUCKY SANDWICH. EATING IT IS SUPPOSED TO BRING YOU GOOD LUCK. I DO NOT KNOW IF SUCH A THING IS TRUE... BUT I WISH YOU IT ALL THE SAME FOR TODAY, COMMANDER."
"... thank you... Miss Marsh."
With that, I leave for the training facility, but I'm told that I won't be going there for this test. Instead, I'll be going to an area in Murasaki Forest. Interesting.
The area is large and open, with a few sheds scattered around — they don't look very durable though. I'd say that they're meant for hiding, rather than for protection. But why put them in a forest?
I head over the Fierce Pork Trooper and the Pigmasks. On the ground by them is a hat.
"Ah, you're here! Good, we can begin the test. Today, we will see if you have the leadership needed to be the Commander — if you rely purely on your own strength, you won't get very far. If you fail... well, I have orders from His Highness that we imprison you... for an indefinite amount of time."
What?! Imprisonment?! Forever?!
I... I'll never be Commander... I won't be able to play with Master Porky again... or make recipes with Miss Marsh... then, I... I can't fail. I won't fail.
"But, let's hope that doesn't happen. There's sixteen of us — Jenson's on sick leave, but that actually works out perfectly today. We're gonna split into two teams — eight on each. You will be leader of one team and I will be leader of another. We'll draw names from the hat to decide."
So, we take turns picking names from the hat, and we quickly get our teams of eight.
"Okay, so here's how things are gonna work. This is a battlefield, and so we battle. The aim is defeat the opposing team's leader — do that, and you win. I think it's fairly obvious, but I'll say it nonetheless: if your team wins, you pass, if not..."
I get a one way ticket to the New Pork Dungeons.
However, while I shouldn't get overconfident, I think my chances of winning this are reasonably high. I've beaten all of these Pigmasks before, so taking on just seven should be fairly easy. And I have support from seven other Pigmasks.
The only threat therefore, would be the main target — the Fierce Pork Trooper. I've only ever fought him once, during my first day here, but it left enough of an impression on me to know not to underestimate him. But, I've gotten far more powerful, and again, I have the other Pigmasks, so if I can isolate him, this shouldn't be very hard.
"However, I think we're all well aware that a straight up brawl would be rather one sided, because you can fly, we can't, so you can simply use your psychic powers to rain lightning down on us all."
Oh. Yeah... you know, that also works. Why didn't I think of that?
"Luckily, I accounted for that, and I've got a way to take away that advantage and put us all on equal footing. But first, you all need equipment. Let's move!"
He goes to the building behind him and the rest of us follow. Inside... it's an armoury of sorts. There are many suits of body armour, in addition to a number of large guns — however, they seem too long to be the laser guns that are traditionally used by the Pigmasks, nor do they seem to resemble other weapons like my own arm cannon.
There are also some crates scattered around which are locked up. What could be in there?
Either way, I take it we're supposed to use these, so we all change into the suits here and take one of these guns.
"So then, these guns, they don't fire lasers, these fire something a lot more fun."
He aims at a wall be firing pressing the trigger... and, I think I'm seeing things... but a sphere flies out of the barrel, and when it hits the wall, it splatters, covering the wall in green paint... that's quite the interesting choice of ammunition.
"Paintballs. Now, these things may not look like it, but they hurt. Especially if you fire them at close range, since these things rely on compressed air or something like that to fire these paintballs are high speeds.
"Those crates have more paintballs in them, and you'll need to reload occasionally for obvious reasons. There's a bunch of these crates around the fields outside, so you'll never be too far away from ammunition, but that doesn't mean you'll be safe, cause anyone can still fire at you."
"Now, this suits and helmets have sensors on them and if a paintball hits them, they'll record where you got hit. If they've racked up enough damage, you 'die', which means you're out of the game."
"Of course, different areas of your body will have varying impacts — get shot in head or the heart, and there's a good chance that you'll be instantly out. Your arms and legs though, you could probably take a few shots there. And yes, friendly fire is possible, so be careful who you're firing at."
"Brute force won't help you at all here. You've gotta rely on your own skills and instincts or you'll end up dead on the ground — much like on a real battlefield. Any questions?"
No one raises any.
"Okay, there's a red base and a blue base on opposite ends of the field. If you're with me, red base, if you're with the kid, blue base. Get going and wait in there until I contact you."
While walking to the blue base, I make notes regarding the surroundings. The area is densely populated with trees which could be used to hide or used to take cover from.
The various huts around the area also seem to serve a similar purpose, being larger and therefore offering more protection, though they are much fewer in number.
The grass and hills could also be useful as our suits are of a similar colour, so we may be able to blend in if we position ourselves correctly.
Inside of the blue base is a video screen, and some more crates and guns. The video screen shows an incoming call, so I accept. The Fierce Pork Trooper appears.
"Good, you made it. So, the bases, are a safe zone, we can't go inside of them at all, but you can't fire at us either — if anyone breaks that rule, it's an instant disqualification."
"There's ammunition in here as well but inside, and only inside the bases, are paint grenades and paint mines. The grenades are fairly self explanatory — they're good for a large area, but you're unlikely to 'kill' someone with these, unless they're in the centre of the blast zone."
"The mines are the opposite, you'll need to place these well for them to be effective, but if someone steps on them... well, they'll be blown sky high."
"Everyone can spend some time practicing with the guns, grenades and mines, say, half an hour, and then we start the test proper."
As it happens, I have had a little practice with guns but not all that much, I'm more used to my own arm cannon. It takes me a bit of time to adjust, but it doesn't feel significantly different. I, and the rest of the Pigmasks, also try out some of the grenades and mines, as they could be useful.
With ten minutes left, we decide to try and figure out a strategy.
"Okay. There's eight of us, and eight of them. Chances are, we'll be quickly taken out if we split up individually, but staying together also has its own risks, that being that we risk being easily taken out by a single grenade. So we travel in pairs."
"How exactly do we go about approaching the enemy, Commander?"
"One good shot, and that could be it. Stay out of sight at all costs. If you decide to approach a target, be sure that you have support nearby. Oh, and if you place a mine, make sure to mark it on your map."
"The enemy is all the way on the other side." I point to the corresponding area on the map.
"So if we advance as quickly as possible over there, we can take them all out at once if they haven't gone very far."
The Fierce Pork Trooper calls us again soon after.
"Final clarifications then: if you're killed, you cannot fire at anyone at all. However, you're free to leave and go back home after, or stay in the armoury to watch the battle play out. The last team standing wins, and if both captains are still left standing after six hours, the team with the most people left wins!"
But, wait...
"Wait, what if both teams have equal numbers of people?"
"Well... I dunno, we flip a coin? Yeah, that'll works. Okay, we start in 3... 2... 1... GO!"
With that, the eight of us scramble out of the base, split into pairs and start advancing towards the red base as fast as we can. Two of the pairs stick on the outer part of the arena while the rest of us move on the inside.
We're able to see everyone else at first, but the more we advance, the harder it is, and eventually I can only see the Pigmasks I'm with. Still, I have a relatively good idea where they all are, so that shouldn't be an issue.
What is an issue, is the size of this field. I underestimated how big it really is — it's been close to 45 minutes and we're not even halfway there. It's a good thing we all brought rations because the terrain can be harsh at times, and these suits are quite heavy.
The suits have a radar on them which lets us monitor each other — we appear as blue dots on the map. However, we can't see the enemies on the map, so we still have to find them the old fashioned way.
It's not until an hour or so of walking until I think I hear some sort of noise.
"Did you hear that as well, Commander?"
"Yes... it came from near those trees... let's take a look... carefully."
Slowly, the two of us make an approach towards some trees to the west. Now, there are some squirrels in this forest, I've seen them during some of my visits to the Chimera Laboratory, so it could merely be one of them.
Nevertheless... I must also entertain the possibility of it being one of the enemy.
There's no one hiding behind most of these trees, so we're tempted to assume it was nothing significant.
But I take a closer look at our surroundings, and I notice something— there's one of those huts nearby, which doesn't have any inside currently. However, nearby said hut is a particularly large tree that we haven't yet checked behind...
"We've probably just heard a squirrel or the wind through the trees. Let's just keep moving."
However, while I'm saying this, I make a motion with my fingers towards the tree in question and thankfully, the Pigmask understands what I mean. The two of us raise our guns slowly and approach that tree. When we're near it, I use my fingers and count to 3 with them.
On 3, the two of us charge behind the tree and fire away... at air. There was no behind here at all. Damn it.
"There's no one here, Commander. Maybe it really was just the wind."
I suppose... I will have to admit I was wrong. The two of us turn around and continue along our original path.
Splat!
What the...! A tree next to us was suddenly covered in paint. There's... there's someone here... haha... I can't move... my feet... I... feel scared... it could all be over here...
"Commander!"
What? What is it? I turn to lo — OH MY PORK!
I immediately roll away, barely dodging the next paintball — it hits the ground and coats it in red paint."
"Let's get moving!"
The two of us immediately break into a sprint, heading towards where the paintball was shot. We hide behind trees as we go, firing occasionally. The more we do so, the more the enemy fires back, which gives us a better indication of where they are. The two of us eventually make it to where they are, and surround him, before firing away.
It's two on one, and he has nowhere to run, leaving him at our mercy, so it's not very long before we manage to kill him, signified by —
"YOU'RRRRRE OUT!" Okay, that's kinda funny.
"Aw man, I'm the first person out! Well, nice job, you two... but you'll never beat us! We are the superior team! The reds will win!"
"Well, sorry, but I aim to make you all feel blue blue, after this is over."
The other Pigmask I'm with raises a question of his own.
"Yeah, so, what are you gonna do, now that you're dead and all?"
"Meh. The boss says we can go home if you get out, but I wanna see how things play out, so I'm going to the armoury. So, bad luck to you two!"
Well... that happened.
"We need to get moving, Commander. The radar shows when one of your teammates has been eliminated, so the enemy will know we've been here, and having them all swarm us won't end well."
"Right. However... let's take a moment to lay a trap of sorts."
I place down one of the paint mines, and cover it with some leaves and dirt.
"They may come here, knowing that this was their teammate was defeated. If they do, then this may very well get them."
We continue our advance across the forest for the next hour or so. It's fairly uneventful, that is, until we run into another Pigmask — one of our own.
And he's been hit!
He has paint on his legs and he's panting heavily... as if he was running away?
"Commander! Good to see... you're still alive!"
"Same to you. You seem awfully exhausted though... and where is your teammate?"
"He's... he's dead. We got caught in a fight with two of the enemy... and, he didn't make it. We managed to take out one of them, but the other fled, though not before we each managed to get some good shots on the other."
"I see... we have also taken out another of the enemy, so that puts us at an advantage in terms of sheer numbers."
It's here I notice his exhaustion — he could use some help.
"Here. Take some water, and some Beef Jerky. It's not much... but it should help."
"What? Oh no, Commander, I couldn't!"
"Then... it's an order."
The Pigmask opens his mouth to respond but closes it, before nodding and taking the items.
"Thank you... I feel much better."
The other Pigmask I'm with interjects.
"You should come with us. It's not safe to be alone, and it's unlikely you've been followed."
"If that's alright with you two."
Admittedly, three isn't ideal, but it is certainly better than that Pigmask wandering the forest alone.
"I see no reason why not."
The three of us keep moving onwards, while keeping a lookout for any of the enemy. We also monitor the remaining four Pigmasks on our team. They seem to be fine and overall, though some of them start flashing — indicating that they're being attacked. Still, they don't disappear so they are either took out the attackers or made their escape.
Eventually, we reach their base.
"Right... we can stay here, and wait for the rest of our team to arrive... the enemy will have to eventually come back here, and when they do, we annihilate them all."
"So...we camp here then?"
"Yes."
We hide behind some of those huts nearby, watching for other teammates to arrive, or for an enemy. We don't see any enemies, but one of our teammates disappears off the radar, so now each team has 6 people.
Over time, the three remaining Pigmasks join. While two of them are completely clean, one of them has been shot in the chest — it's a miracle he isn't out!
He tells us that they got caught in a fight with 3 others with his partner being killed and himself being heavily injured. So that explains why one disappeared of the radar.
I reiterate my plan, and we all take positions around. About an hour passes, with us just waiting there, leaving us halfway into the time limit.
And no one comes.
Patience is certainly a virtue, but after an hour of no results, I think we may need a different idea.
I walk out and signal for the rest of the Pigmasks to join.
"This isn't working. It'll take them ages to come back here if they went to our base as well. And by then, we'll be out of time... and it's currently tied, isn't it?"
"So we should go and search for them?"
"Perhaps... that may very well be the only way we can win..."
However, as I'm saying this, I think I see something rolling in the corner of —
WAIT IT'S A —
"DIVE!"
We all dive in different directions just as the paint grenade explodes, showering the area in paint... that was far too close.
"GET THEM!"
Suddenly, from nowhere, a bunch of Pigmasks appear! There's, one, two, three, FOUR of them — and the Fierce Pork Trooper!
They all throw a grenade at us, and I don't need to give an order — we all run!
OH PORK! I can't lose now, not this far in!
"After them! Don't let them get away!"
Unfortunately, they're all after us. We need to get away. We keep running, and I think we may be a little bit faster than they are, so we are able to gain a bit of ground on them, but it's not enough to necessarily lose them. We need to scare them off.
And I think I know how.
"Everyone! Use your grenades!"
We all turn and throw a grenade, which together, all send an explosion of paint up into the air, forcing the enemy to stop chasing us. We still keep running though.
Eventually, we make our way to a junction. Which way then...? Wait... what if we throw them off?
"Let's try to divert them... fire at those trees over there."
"What for?"
"They'll think we went that way, which will buy us time."
They splatter the trees as I requested, and one of the Pigmasks and myself also place a mine on both pathways, which will hopefully get some of them.
We keep moving, keeping a look out for any other Pigmasks... if we can make it to the armoury, we can restock, make a plan, and hopefully get a victory. Yeah, sounds like a...
"STOP!"
Suddenly, there's an explosion of paint which engulfs the Pigmask in the lead! A mine... we all immediately stop in our tracks, but it's too late for him.
He's... gone.
A Pigmask jumps from behind a tree nearby.
"Surprise, mother —"
"OPEN FIRE!"
We all unleash a salvo of paintballs to avenge our fallen comrade, but the Pigmask quickly goes back to his hiding spot. Still, if he's the only one here, then this will be quick. We march up the hill and surround him, before pummelling him with as many paintballs as we can, before we hear —
'YOU'RRRRE OUT!'
Great, with that Pigmask down, things are more even, 5 on each team.
Unfortunately, while doing so, the Pigmask had enough time to throw one last grenade which explodes spectacularly. Thankfully, we all manage to avoid the blas—
'YOU'RRRRE OUT!'
...I hate being wrong.
"I'm out. Sorry, Commander, it's up to you four now."
"Same here, if I had been a bit more careful, I could have avoided that mine."
"It is fine. You both fought admirably, and you both deserve rest. Good luck making it back."
The two make their leave, leaving the rest of us. However, after all of the running none of the Pigmasks can keep going on without a break, and neither can I...
Wait! I still have some more food! I share the calorie sticks and beef jerky between everyone as well as some water.
I don't take anything myself, even though the Pigmasks insist I do... I don't want it, nor do I really need it...
Besides, I can't help but feel sick... because of the situation... I'm more nervous than ever. Now, we're at a disadvantage in terms of numbers. Not only that, the rest of the enemy are still on our tail, and they may very well be close to us... and we're all exhausted...
We're... we're gonna lose, aren't we?
I... you know... I've been doing all this training to be the Commander... for Master Porky. But... I don't think I ever really considered how seriously this position is... the abilities needed, the mental aptitude that is required. I remember wondering whether... I was a suitable candidate for being the Commander, and...
I'm not, am I? I've led my team into an ambush and now half of them are 'dead'. Sure, this is just a game... but what if it was real?
What if... what if I was up against the people of Tazmily, who willingly attack those that oppose them, and brutally maim those before them? I'd have led the people under my command into... death. All those lives... they're all on me. I would be responsible.
And now I'm here... on a battlefield, outnumbered... the enemy approaching, our team divided... and if I lose, no, when I lose... that's it.
I don't become the Commander.
I go to prison forever.
And... the story ends there for me, doesn't it?
But that's not the worst part. I... I'll never get to train with these Pigmasks and the Fierce Pork Trooper again, who I've spent so much time with... I've come to see them as friends. Friends... it's nice...
And Master Porky... he gave me a life, both figuratively and literally... he helped me become stronger. I'm... I'm nothing but immensely grateful that I could get to know him... but now... I've squandered all the trust he put in me.
And... I'll never see Miss Marsh again. The two months that we've spent together... I've really grown rather fond of her. She's helped me adjust to my new living space... when I came to New Pork City to live here, I felt alone... because I was leaving my friends behind, and I haven't been able to see Master Porky at all since I moved.
But I found a new friend in her... she's been very kind to me... and living with her, it's been really nice. She's funny — it may not be very often, but on those occasions... she never fails to make me laugh.
And I can't forget her patience with me (most of the time) when she teaches me to cook, even when I keep messing things up. I... I really enjoy cooking with her... spending time with her... she's so much... more than a friend for me...
It feels... it's like... I just want to hug her... and I don't ever want to let go.
But... that's over too, isn't it?
I absentmindedly rummage around in my bag... I'm not sure why though, I know there's nothing in there... wait, there is!
I pull out the last remaining thing in it... something in foil? I unwrap it... it's...
"IT IS A LUCKY SANDWICH. EATING IT IS SUPPOSED TO BRING YOU GOOD LUCK... I DO NOT KNOW IF SUCH A THING IS TRUE... BUT I WISH YOU IT ALL THE SAME FOR TODAY, COMMANDER."
That's right. Miss Marsh... she made this...
For me.
It's supposed to be for luck... but would luck help me out now? Probably not. It's likely... just a myth. Much like my chances of winning this.
But... do I need luck to win... I don't... do I?
Why don't I just surrender... if I know I can't win? Because I want to be the Commander.
Then... why do I want to become the Commander? To be stronger? No... there are so many different kinds of strength... and being the Commander requires more than one.
To serve Master Porky then? That drive... it feels stronger than pursuing strength, yes... and yet... it still doesn't feel right. For a time, it was enough. And though I still want to serve Master Porky and assist him... the thought alone no longer instils the same drive in me.
Then what?
It's something... different. I want things to stay the same. I don't want to lose, any of the people, that I've come to know, whether it be because I won't see them... or because they'll be... taken.
I... I won't lose them! I CAN'T!
I... I don't need luck to win... and I don't need it to keep going either! I just need... that feeling...
The feeling when I'm training with these people I've developed this bond with, when I'm being friends with Master Porky, when I'm spending time with Miss Marsh...
That feeling... I won't waste any of it!
I eat the sandwich... it tastes very nice, but it's what it represents... that's what makes it taste so good...
Let's win this.
"We may be at a disadvantage... but I refuse to give up yet. The enemy hasn't backed us into a corner, and so we can still turn the tables back on them! Even if the chances are small! The enemy will be coming this way for us soon, so we need to prepare this area and ambushes them."
"But last time we tried an ambush on the ground, it didn't work, Commander."
"Exactly. This time... we take the high ground."
We all scale the trees as fast as we can, and as high as we can. From this high up, I can almost see above all the trees, the sun setting over the sky. This time though, we can see everything... and this time, things will go much differently...
We stay here, for about two minutes, until we see the enemy approaching... all five of them... perfect.
They draw their guns and start searching the area below. The Fierce Pork Trooper seems confused and starts talking with the rest of the Pigmasks.
"Where are they? We saw the radar go off here and the only direction they could have gone is back, and we would have seen them!"
The rest of my team looks at me, fire in their eyes and I nod, holding my fingers in the air...
3... 2... 1...
"AIR RAID!"
We dive off the trees with our guns, firing as fast as we can, managing to take out two of the enemy Pigmasks, before the remaining ones run.
"After them!"
It's somewhat ironic now I think about it — now they're the ones running from us and we're the ones outnumbering them. They try firing back and throwing grenades, but their aim isn't very good as they also have to run in the opposite direction.
The two Pigmasks and the Fierce Pork Trooper split up in different directions... alright, two can play at that game.
I tell one of the Pigmasks to follow to the Pigmask on the left, and the remaining two to chase after the Fierce Pork Trooper, while I follow the Pigmask on the right.
It's not long before I'm able to get close to the Pigmask in question so I can land a finishing shot.
Ready, aim, and...
*click*
Oh... come on... why now?!
"Ha! You're out of ammo! Now stand down, or prepare to be wiped."
Damn it! Of course, I'd had to run out of ammo at the what would have to be, without a doubt, the most inopportune time, in the history of inopportune times!
...actually, no, scratch that — the time when Jeff ran out of ammo for his bazooka just before he was going to kill the Starman Deluxe might just beat this... yeah, I've watched that movie far too many times, haven't I?
"Surrender, Commander, or else!"
No, it can't just end like this! In frustration, I accidentally push the trigger on my gun.
Splat!
Oh.
It was just jammed. My bad.
"Or else what?"
He raises his gun into the air.
"Wrong answer."
I'm quicker to the punch... or shot, in this case, and fire at his chest three times in quick succession, before being graced with the sweet sound of defeat.
Now to find the other two and finish them off.
I haven't deviated much from the others so I simply retrace my steps and... hm... which way now? I did send two Pigmasks after the Fierce Pork Trooper, so they should be able to deal with him. However, the remaining Pigmask is in a one on one, so he may need some support.
I head along the left path as quickly as I can until I get near the two Pigmasks currently in a fight. The one on the enemy team currently is on the offensive which puts the one on my team at a disadvantage.
Thankfully, I think I may have a very easy way of regaining the advantage.
"Hey!"
Predictably, the enemy Pigmask turns around — only to get shot in the chest by me, and in the back by the other Pigmask, immediately killing him.
Was that a cheap strategy? Yes.
Do I care? Oh, well, no, not at all.
The Pigmask and I make our way along the path where the Fierce Pork Trooper and the other two Pigmasks went — if we take him out, we win.
We head along and... hey, I recognise this area... it's the same place where we took out that first Pigmask.
But, anyway, it's a good thing we got there quickly though since the Fierce Pork Trooper isn't going down without a fight.
He's on top of a hill and he's using the high ground very effectively, by using what may be an equally cheap strategy as the one I just used — that being to simply toss grenades down and fire through the explosions.
The paint thrown up from the grenades blocks our vision, which makes it harder to see the paintballs he shoots, and trying to dodge both the explosions and his shots makes it impossible for us to fire back.
Simple, but very effective.
Despite being outnumbered, 4 to 1, he still keeps the pressure up on us.
"Ah! I'm down!"
Okay, he's still outnumbered, but now it's only 3 to 1. But still, with him up there, if we don't figure out something soon, it won't matter that we outnumber him — he'll take us all out anyway!
Wait.
Wait a minute. We're idiots... we're all just clumped around here, which makes it easy to hit us with one grenade. But if we split up...
"Split up, surround the hill and then advance up it!"
We form a triangle of sorts around the hill and start moving up it. The Fierce Pork Trooper momentarily stops — he's realised exactly what we're doing.
We're spaced out far enough that the explosion from a grenade will only harm the person he threw it at, so he'll need to throw at least three grenades to take us all out.
The Fierce Pork Trooper looks at each of us individually, as if trying to decide which one of us he should go for first, but he stops again, realising the second trap in our plan.
See, he could take us all out by throwing three grenades but in the time it would take to do so, at least one of us would be able to make it up the hill and take the opportunity to kill him.
Quite simply, he's cornered. There's absolutely no way for him to escape.
"Clever, very clever. But did you account for the fact that I can do... THIS!"
I wonder what exactly he means by that, but I soon find out — he takes a few steps back and runs before jumping high off the hill, over us all before landing and running essentially finding... a way to escape.
...I have got to stop make these certain statements.
"After him!"
However, while in the air, the Fierce Pork Trooper fires four shots which barely miss me, but the two Pigmasks aren't so lucky — they both get hit and die... so now...
"You're all alone now, kid. Just you and me!"
He fires a few shots at me, but I was expecting that and already leapt to one side, returning his 'present', with a grenade.
He doesn't quite appreciate my present though and he quickly moves out of the way.
For the next few minutes, the two of us keep repeating the same cycle: someone fires, the other ones dodges, fires back, they dodge, rinse and repeat.
It's just a war of attrition, with the loser being the one that runs out of ammo first.
If I can outlast him or I had some way of just... instantly killing him, then I'd win.
The issue is I can't outlast him — I have less ammo and grenades, so, if I simply keep going on like this, it's a war I'll lose.
I'm not confident enough in my accuracy to get a good shot at his heart either, so that's out, and I'll be lucky to get a shot on him with all the paint being thrown around in the air...
Wait... paint thrown in the air... and this area... there is a way, isn't there?
Let's check the map... it's still here!
Oh... this is risky... but it may be my only option.
Okay. Deep breath.
I take out one of my few remaining grenades. What I've been doing is throwing them up and then trying to get a few shots in.
This time, when I throw it, I wait for it to explode... and RUN!
"Hey! You can't run forever!"
You know, it's amazing how much energy your body seems to have when someone stronger is chasing you, but it's serving me well right now!
I head to a specific area on my map as fast as I can, because I know the Fierce Pork Trooper is very hot on my tail. It's... no, a bit to the left, ah, here!
I head in a straight line from this area, which has me going down a bump of sorts, and then... I stop. Yeah, sounds crazy... but here's to hoping.
The Fierce Pork Trooper catches up to me. He's situated above me, but he's in front of me. Let's hope this works.
"Finally, I've caught up to you. No more running away, kid. You gonna have to fight."
"Or do I?"
"What? I mean, yes? Cause, you have to defeat me in order to win! Plus, you're too far away to shoot me and the elevation here means that even if you could, your shots would still miss."
"You're right. You see, I know I can't beat you. I have less ammo then you and you're better at this than me. But the thing is, you can't shoot me either, because having the high ground means your shots will just fly over me, and you can't throw a grenade that far.
So if I just stay here, we'll draw, because of the time limit. And then, it's a coin toss to decide the winner, which gives me a 50% chance of winning, which are much better then the odds I have of winning this right now. It's foolproof."
"Except it isn't, kid. What if, I just come closer to you?"
Perfect.
"Oh... well... I... didn't think about that."
"Haha! A good plan, but alas, that fatal flaw is your undoing."
The Fierce Pork Trooper charges straight at me, his footsteps punctuated by the crunching of leaves beneath his feet, the wind in the trees, the chirping of birds...
And then, a mechanical click.
Upon hearing it, the Fierce Pork Trooper immediately stops moving, before putting his left food down away from the one his right one, which is on the ground.
He uses his left foot to sweep away the leaves and dirt around his right foot, before seeing...
"Oh, you clever devil..."
He lifts his right foot up, and the mine explodes in a beautiful glory of blue, blue paint before I'm graced one last time with,
"YOU'RRRRRE OUT!"
And that means... I win?
"Man, I did not see that one coming, that was very good. Congrats, kid."
"Soo... I win, right? Right?"
"Well... actually, you see... nah, I'm just messing with you, you win."
I do? I do! I win! Yes!
"Let's get back to the armory."
After much walking, we arrive, to the 14 Pigmasks who had been eliminated. They open their mouths, I imagine to ask who won, but they quickly shut them when the answer becomes obvious, due to the Fierce Pork Trooper being, well, covered in blue paint.
"Everyone! The kid's one step closer to being our new Commander!"
There's a great amount of cheering and applause for me... it feels great...
"Thank you. It was... difficult... and I was worried about the consequences for failure... but nevertheless, I have succeeded!"
Some of the Pigmasks shift around and take a few glances away... strange. One of them turns to the Fierce Pork Trooper.
"Ah... yeah, should we tell him, sir?"
"Well... ah, you know what, fine. He deserves to know, I suppose."
"Know what?"
"Well, kid, you know how we said if you failed, the King had given orders for you to be imprisoned forever?"
"Yes..."
"Yeah, you see... that was a lie..."
"What?!"
"It was Fassad's orders to tell you that to make you... extra motivated, if you get me."
Of course, it was Fassad. Why would it be anyone else?
"And you all knew about this?!"
There's a chorus of replies in the affirmative from the rest of the Pigmasks.
"So, you mean to tell me, that I was this worried about never seeing anyone again, never seeing you all again... and it was all a lie?!"
"I never knew you cared so much, kid!"
I'm just lost for words... oh wait, no — I have the perfect words!
"I... I hate you all."
But, of course... that couldn't be further from the truth. It was a cruel trick, perhaps, but a necessary one.
And from it, I've learned a lesson of sorts... it does not matter how strong you are as an individual... because if you rely on your own strength, you won't get very far at all.
It's those around you, those who stand beside you... that's what counts... isn't it?
And one day, the dream will come true. I'll be...
The Commander.
A/N: So you know how I said I was going to try and make these chapters shorter? Yeah, that did not last very long, did it? I'll spare you the incessant ramblings, because I don't actually have much to say.
For how much Claus is supposed to be the Commander of the Pigmask Army, you never really see him do much, well, commanding. Well, here's my efforts at remedying that.
This one was really hard to write — you would not believe how much research I had to do into paintball for this (plus a little into Splatoon), and in the end... yeah, I'd say I'm more pleased with Chapter 11 then this. I hope this was alright though.
Next time, Claus visits the Thunder Tower.