The Best of Times
Planet of the Dead
Staff at London's International Gallery were getting ready for the night. Armed guards took up position in front of an ancient golden chalice, surrounded by laser beams. The head guard activated the alarms, bid goodnight to his men, then went off to check another area. Unbeknownst to the men on duty, a skylight in the dome above the chalice opened to reveal a figure dressed in black. The figure lowered themselves down on a winch and managed to swap the chalice for an object, then winched themselves up again. One of the guards turned to see a cheap lucky cat statue sitting in the chalice's place.
The mysterious figure snuck through another floor of the gallery and paused for a moment to remove their balaclava, revealing themselves to be a dark-haired woman in her early thirties. Suddenly, alarms started blaring. The woman gave a sigh at being rumbled and scarped out of an emergency exit into an alley, where she saw her male getaway driver being arrested by the police "Sorry, lover." she muttered, then fled in the opposite direction onto Oxford Street. Police were already on the scene of the robbery and were busy trying to close all routes of escape.
The women then noticed a double-decker bus on route 200 to Victoria Station pull up at the bus stop. Seeing that was her only chance, she hopped on board "Hello." she said to the driver "I'm so terribly story. That card paying device, that's a lobster card, am I right?"
"Oyster card." the driver corrected
"Ah, well, that's the problem, you see. I only use my Oyster card when there's an R in the month."
"It's April." the driver snorted
The women glanced outside and saw police were heading in her direction and decided there was only one thing for it and took off her earrings "Diamonds, genuine." she dropped them into the driver's hand "Drive."
"Works for me." the driver shrugged, as the woman took a seat. Just then, two more people jumped on board, a man in a brown suit and coat, and a woman in a burgundy leather jacket "Just in time." the driver remarked, as they flashed a pair of black wallet-like things on the Oyster card reader
The two new-comers took a seat opposite the thief "Hello, I'm the Doctor an' this is my beautiful wife, Gazelle." the man greeted the thief and held out an Easter egg "Happy Easter!" the bus moved off. As it did so, the thief looked out of the window and was spotted by the Detective Inspector that was handling the robbery "Funny thing is, we don't often do Easter." the Doctor rambled, in a world of his own "We can never find it. Always at a different time. Although... I remember the original. Between you an' us, what really happened was..."
He was cut off by Gazelle nudging him "Rambling again, dear." she told him "Anyway, we're nearing the zone."
"Oh, yeah, right." the Doctor nodded and turned to the thief "Sorry, could ya hold to that for me?" he asked, handing her the Easter egg "Actually, go on, finish it. It's full of sugar an' I'm determined to keep these teeth." he bared his teeth before fishing into his bigger-on-the-inside coat pockets and producing a small crude electronic device that was bleeping "Ooh, we've got excitation." the Doctor grinned and shook the device, much to the bewilderment of the other passengers, namely a middle-aged black couple, a middle-aged blonde woman and a young black man. "We're picking up somefink very strange." he remarked
"Yeah, I know the feeling." the thief muttered, anxiously glancing behind her for any sign of police pursuit. Sure enough, in the distance but gaining face was a police car.
Soon, the bus entered the Gladwell Road Tunnel. "Rhodium particles, that's what we're lookin' for." the Doctor continued to ramble "This thing, which my brilliant wife made, detects 'em. This little dish should go round, this little dish there." he pointed to a dish on the device
"Let me." Gazelle said, taking the device and tinkering with it
"Right now, a way out would come in pretty handy." the thief muttered, knowing that the police were probably busy blocking the other end of the tunnel as they were speaking "Can you detect me one of those?"
The black woman looked at her husband "Lou, can you hear them?"
"Hear what, sweetheart?" Lou asked
"The voices. So many voices. Calling to us."
Gazelle glanced back at them upon hearing that, but before she could question them, the bleeping from the device she was working on caught her attention again "Ah, the little dish is going around." the Doctor grinned, taking the device back from her
"Fascinating." the thief said flatly
"And round." the Doctor continued, standing up and waving the device around the aisle "Woah!" he jumped back as sparks flew from the device
"Excuse me, d'you mind?" the blonde woman grumbled
"Sorry about that." Gazelle said to her
"Can't you turn that thing off?" the thief asked in irritation
"What was your name?" Gazelle asked her
"Christina." the thief answered
"You should hold on, Christina." Gazelle told her, then stood up "Same for everyone else. Hold on!" she and the Doctor both grabbed hold of the handrails, the other passengers doing the same as the bus suddenly lurched violently, jerking everyone forward
"The voices!" the black woman cried "Oh, the voices, they're screaming!"
Then some of the window shattered and the lights blew out. A young white man came scrambling down from the top deck "What's going on?!" he shouted
"Down!" the Doctor urged him, pulling him behind a seat
Then there was a dazzling white flash and the rough ride settled. The Time Lords was the first to recover. They picked themselves up to find broad daylight outside. They opened the doors and stepped outside to find themselves in the middle of a desert with three suns in the sky, clearly nowhere on Earth "End of the line." the Doctor breathed "Call it a hunch, but I fink we've gone a little bit further than Brixton."
"That is the understatement of the millennium." Gazelle muttered, surveying their surroundings
The driver and all of the passengers except for the black couple got off too and looked around, while the Doctor knelt down and examined the sand. "That's impossible!" the blonde woman cried, looking at the sky "There's three suns! Three of 'em!"
"Like when all those planets were up in the sky!" the young black man remarked
"But it was Earth that moved back then, wasn't it?" the young white man put in
"Oh, man! We're on another world!" the young black man realised
The driver meanwhile was examining the bus. The top deck was badly crumpled and smoke was wafting from the scorched steelwork. "Looks intact, though." he said "Not as bad as it looks. The chassis' still holding together. Oh, my boss is gonna murder me!"
"Was there anyone else upstairs?" Gazelle asked, noticing the damage
"No, just me." the young white man replied
"Well, that's something." the Time Lady remarked, then turned back to her husband, who was still examining the sand
"Can you still drive it?" the blonde woman asked the driver
"No, no, the wheels're stuck." he replied, gesturing to the wheels that were buried deep in the sand "Look at 'em. They're never gonna budge."
Christina approached the Time Lords, donning a pair of sunglasses "Ready for every emergency." she said casually
"Us too." Gazelle replied, donning the sunglasses her previous incarnation had used during the army of ghosts business, while the Doctor took his glasses and used his sonic screwdriver to tint the lenses, turning them into sunglasses.
"And what're your names again?" Christina asked them
"The Doctor." the Time Lord replied, focussing on the sand
"Gazelle." the Time Lady added, watching him
"Name, not rank." Christina said to the Doctor
"The Doctor."
"Surname?"
"The Doctor."
"You're called the Doctor?"
"Yes I am." he said proudly
"That's not a name, it's a psychological condition." Christina snorted, then turned to Gazelle "And is Gazelle a nickname?" she noticed the necklace the Time Lady was wearing
"No, it's my name." Gazelle told her
"Right." Christina said slowly, raising a brow at the odd couple
"So, what's the verdict on the sand?" Gazelle asked her husband, getting to the point
"There's a trace of somefink else." the Doctor replied, then tasted some of the sand on his fingers, only to squirm in disgust "Not good." he groaned
"You'd better rinse ya mouth out before you kiss me next." Gazelle said to him telepathically
"Well it wouldn't be, it's sand." Christina snorted, eying the Doctor oddly again
"No, it tastes like..." he stopped himself, then telepathically relayed what he'd tasted to Gazelle "Never mind." he got to his feet
"What is it?" Christina asked "What's wrong?"
But before either Time Lord could answer, the young black man came storming over, pointing an accusing finger at the Doctor "Hold on, I saw you, mate! You 'ad that thing, that machine. Did you make this happen?!"
"Oh, Humans on buses always blamin' me." the Doctor muttered, remembering his disastrous bus ride on Midnight "If ya must know." he said pointedly, determinded not to make the same mistakes he'd made then "We were trackin' a hole in the fabric of reality. Call it a hobby. But it was a tiny 'ole, no danger to anyone. Suddenly, it gets big an' we drive right through it."
"But where is it?" the driver asked, looking around at the barren desert "There's nothing but sand."
"It's invisible to the naked eye." Gazelle told him "But here's the proof." she picked up a bit of sand and chucked it just behind the bus, revealing a swirling ripple in the air that disappeared shortly
"And that's...?" Christina asked
"A door." the Doctor replied "A door in space."
"So what you're sayin' is, on the other side of that is 'ome?" the driver asked hopefully "We can get to London through there?"
"The bus came through." the Doctor told him "But we can't."
"Well then, what're we waiting for?" the driver said, not paying attention, and dashed towards the portal
"No, don't!" both Time Lords yelled, but it fell on deaf ears
"I'm going 'ome!" the driver said and ran into the portal, only for his flesh to be melted away, leaving a charred skeleton, which promptly disappeared, no doubt landing back in London
"He was a skeleton, man!" the young black man stared in horror "It was bones, just bones!"
"It was the bus." the Doctor explained "Look at the damage. That was the bus protectin' us. Great big box of metal."
"Like a faraday cage." Gazelle added
"Like in a thunderstorm, yeah?" the young white man nodded "Safest place is inside a car, cos' the metal conducts the lightning right through. We did it in school."
"But if we can only travel back inside the bus..." Christina eyed the damaged bus carefully "A Faraday cage needs to be closed. This thing's been ripped wide open."
"We should be alright." Gazelle told her "Wormholes are a little bit different from lightning. There should be enough metal left to protect us." she noticed the Doctor looking at her with a smile "What?"
"Nothing." he said. He noticed that this incarnation of Gazelle was rather more proactive than her predecessor and he was pleased to see her coming out of her shell more
"So we have to drive five tonnes of bus, which is currently buried in the sand, and we've got nothing but our bare hands." Christina stated, then looked at the Time Lords "Correct?"
"I'd say nine an' a half tonnes, but the point still stands, yes." the Doctor nodded
"Then we need to apply ourselves to the problem with discipline." Christina decided "Which starts with appointing a leader."
"Yes, at last." the Doctor said smugly "Thank you, so..."
"Well, thank goodness you've got me." Christina said, causing Gazelle to nearly snort at the Doctor's expression "Everyone do exactly as I say. Inside the bus immediately."
"Is it safe in there?" the young white man asked
"I don't think anything's safe any more." Christina told him "But if it's a choice between baking in there or roasting out here, I'd say baking is slower. Come on, all of you, right now! And you two, Doctor and Gazelle."
"Yes, ma'am!" the Doctor mock saluted
"I like her." Gazelle remarked quietly to the Doctor "She reminds me of Martha a bit."
They were all soon sat in the bus with Christina laying down points "Point 5: the crucial thing is, do not panic. Quite apart from anything else, the smell of sweat inside this thing is reaching atrocious levels. We don't need to add any more. Point 6: team identification. Names, I'm Christina. She..." she gestured to the Time Lady "Is Gazelle."
"Hello there." Gazelle nodded
"This man is apparently the Doctor." Christina gestured to the Time Lord
"Hello!" the Doctor gave one of his trademark cheeky waves
"And you?" Christina turned to the young white man
"Nathan." he answered
"I'm Barclay." the young black man introduced himself
"Angela, Angela Whittaker." the blonde woman said
"My name's Louis, everyone calls me Lou." Lou said "And this is Carmen." he gestured to his wife
"Excellent." Christina said "Memorise those names. There might be a test. Point 7: assesement and application of knowledge. Over to you two, the Doctor and Gazelle."
"I fought you were in charge." the Doctor commented
"I am." Christina grinned "And a good leader utilises her strength. You two seem to be the brain boxes so start boxing."
"Right." the Doctor said, getting to his feet "So, the Wormhole. We were in the wrong place at the wrong time. It was just an accident."
"No, it wasn't." Carmen spoke up "That thing, the doorway. Someone made it. For a reason."
"How d'you know?" the Doctor asked her
"She's got a gift." Lou explained "Ever since she was a little girl, she can just... tell things. We do the lottery, twice a week."
"You don't look like millionaires." Christina remarked
"No, but we win £10. Every week, twice a week, £10." he smiled affectionately at his wife "Don't tell me that's a gift."
The Doctor decided to test Carmen, so put his right hand behind his back and held up three fingers "Tell me, Carmen. How many fingers am I 'olding up?"
"Three." Carmen answered. The Doctor held up a fourth finger "Four."
"Spot on, Carmen." Gazelle praised "You must have a natural clairvoyance and being on this planet has strengthened your foresight. Tell us, what's out there?"
Carmen looked out into space for a moment, then answered "Something... something is coming. Riding out on the wind. And shining."
"Death." Carmen answered "Death is coming."
"We're going to die." Angela wept
"I knew it man, I said so!" Barclay panicked
"We can't die out here!" Nathan cried "No one's gonna find us!"
"This isn't exactly helping..." Christina tried to maintain control of the situation
"Shut up, we're not your soldiers!" Barclay snapped and soon everyone's voices overlapped, except for the Time Lords, who were used to panicking Humans
"Alright now, everyone, STOP IT!" the Doctor shouted, silencing everyone
Gazelle went over to comfort the weeping Angela "Angela? Look at me. When you stepped on board this bus, where you going?"
"Doesn't matter now, does it?" Angela sobbed
"Just humour me." Gazelle patted her shoulder
"Just home."
"And what's home?"
"Me, and Mike and Suzanne. That's my daughter. She's 18."
"Suzanne. Good." the Doctor nodded and turned to Barclay "What about you?"
"Dunno." he shrugged "Going round Tina's?"
"And Tina's your girlfriend?" Gazelle asked him
"Not yet." Barclay replied
"Good boy." the Doctor smiled, then turned to Nathan "What about you, Nathan?"
"Bit strapped for cash." Nathan shrugged "I lost my job last week. I was gonna stay in and watch TV."
"Can't beat a bit of telly." Gazelle smiled, then turned to Lou and Carmen "And what about you two?"
"I was going to cook." Lou replied
"It's his turn tonight." Carmen added "Then I clear up."
"What's for tea?" the Doctor asked them
"Chops." Lou replied "Nice couple of chops and gravy. Nothing special."
"Oh, that's special, Lou." the Doctor told him "That is so special. Chops an' gravy, Mmm! What about you, Christina?"
"I was going... so far away." Christina answered vaguely
"Far away, chops an' gravy, watching TV, Mike an' Suzanne, poor old Tina." the Doctor recited
"Hey!" Barclay said indignantly
"Think about them." Gazelle told everyone "Because this planet is nothing compared to them. We're gonna get you all home, I promise."
"And my wife always keeps 'er promises." the Doctor added, slipping an arm around Gazelle
The Time Lords' words seemed to inspire everyone into action, and soon they were busy working together to get themselves out of this situation. Christina and the Time Lords were surveying the bus when Nathan and Barclay stepped out with the remains of the top deck seats "Here we go, my boys!" the Doctor grinned "We lay a flat surface between the bus an' the wormhole, like duckboards, an' reverse into it."
"Let some air out of the tires." Christina added "Just a little bit. Spreads the weight, gives you more grip."
"Good idea." Gazelle praised
"Holidays in the Kalahari." Christina smirked
"Yeah, but these wheels go deep." Barclay pointed out
"Then start digging." Christina said simply
"With what?"
"With this." Christina replied, reaching into her backpack and producing a fold-up shovel, then handing it to Barclay
"Got anyfink else in there?" the Doctor questioned
"Try this." Christina went into her bag again and produced a hatchet "Might help with the seats." she handed it to Nathan
"Thanks." Nathan nodded and went back inside the bus
"I can't find the keys." Angela called from the driver's seat
"Oh, buses don't 'ave keys." the Doctor told her "There's a master switch. One button to start, another to stop, yeah?"
"Right, hold on." Angela nodded, then noticed a bank of switches "Ok, I got it." she flipped the master switch "Here we go, hold tight. Ding-ding." she hit the start button, only for the engine to splutter and die out.
"Oh, that doesn't sound too good." the Doctor frowned
Gazelle went round to the back of the bus and opened the bonnet "Now I know why Anakin Skywalker doesn't like sand." she groaned "The engine's all clogged up, look."
The Doctor and Christina joined her and saw that the engine was indeed festooned with tiny grains of sand. Christina walked round to where Nathan and Barclay were working "Anyone know mechanics?" she asked them
"Me!" Barclay held up his hand "I did a two-week NVQ at a garage. Didn't finish it, but..."
"Off ya go, then." the Doctor ordered "Try strippin' the air filter. Fast as ya can. Back in two ticks." he and Gazelle began to walk away
"Wait a minute!" Christina said, running up to them "You're the ones with all the answers. I'm not letting you two out of my sight."
So the trio walked a short distance into the desert "Easier if ya left that backpack behind." the Doctor remarked
"Where I go, it goes." Christina said simply
"A backpack that's like Thunderbird 2's pods, going so far away, yet scared by a siren, who are you, Christina?" Gazelle asked
"You can talk!" Christina retorted "Let's say we're all equal mysteries. Come on then, tell me. If Carmen's right, if that wormhole's not an accident, then what is it? Has someone done this on purpose?"
"We don't know." the Doctor replied "But every instinct of mine is tellin' me to get everyone off this planet, right now."
"Mine too." Gazelle added. There was something in the air that had both Time Lords concerned
"And do you think we can get off this planet?" Christina asked them
"We live in hope." the Doctor shrugged
"That must be nice." Christina remarked "It's Christina DeSouza." she extended a hand to them "Lady Christina DeSouza."
"Ooh, that's 'andy." the Doctor remarked, as he and Gazelle shook Christina's hand "Cos' I'm a lord an' Gazelle's a lady."
"Seriously?" Christina eyed them both "Lord and Lady of where?"
"It's quite a big estate." the Doctor waved her off
"And here comes the ego again." Gazelle smirked
"No, but there's something more about you two." Christina said thoughtfully "That device you were carrying. And the wormhole. Like you both knew." she then eyed the Doctor "And the way you stride around the place, like..."
"Like?" the Doctor questioned
"Like you own the place." Gazelle said, patting her husband's shoulder
"But there's something else." Christina said "Like neither of you are quite..."
"Anyway." the Doctor cut in "Allons-y!" they began to climb a sand dune
"Qui, mais pas si nous allons vers un cauchemar." Christina said
"Nice one." the Doctor remarked as they reached the top of the dune then they looked at the horizon "Ah, don't like the look of that." the Doctor frowned, seeing dark clouds forming in the distance
"Storm clouds." Christina shrugged "Must be miles away."
"But getting closer." Gazelle frowned, eyeing the clouds closely
"If it's a sand storm, we'll be ripped to shreds." Christina realised
"It's a storm." the Doctor murmured "Who say's it's sand?"
"I don't think it is." Gazelle said. With the enhanced lens of her sunglasses, she could see something off about the clouds. She couldn't put her finger on it as the clouds were too far away, but she didn't want to stay and find out.
The Doctor and Christina shared her sentiment, as the trio then returned to the bus. "Where is it?" the Doctor asked Barclay, remembering seeing him using his phone when they'd first hopped on the bus
"There, on the seat." Barclay replied, pointing to it
"You're hardly gonna get a signal." Christina said flatly "We're on another planet."
"Oh, you'd be surprised." Gazelle remarked as the Doctor soniced Barclay's mobile, upgrading it to universal roaming
"Right, now, bit of 'ush, thank you." the Doctor told the Humans "Gotta remember the number. Very important number." he dialled a number
"Hello, Pizza Geronimo?"
"And again." the Doctor said as he quickly hung up and redialled "7-6, not 6-7."
"This is the Unified Intelligence Taskforce." an automated voice said over the phone "Please select one of the following four options..."
"Oh, I hate these things." the Doctor grumbled
"No, if you keep your finger pressed on zero, you get through to a real person." Angela advised "I saw it on Watchdog."
"Thank you, Angela." the Doctor nodded as he did so
"U.N.I.T helpline, which department would you like?" a woman's voice said
"Listen, it's the Doctor, it's me." the Doctor said into the phone. That seemed to work as the Doctor was soon transferred to the unit that was investigating the wormhole.
"Doctor, this is Captain Erisa Magambo." another woman's voice said "Might I say, it's an honour."
"Did you just salute?" the Doctor frowned
"No." Magambo answered slowly, clearly lying
"Erisa, it's about the bus. HQ said ya at the tunnel, yeah?"
"And where are you?"
"I'm on the bus. Gazelle's wiv me. But we 'aven't a clue which planet we're on."
"A body came through here. Have you sustained any more fatalities?"
"No, and we're not going to if we can help it." Gazelle said into the phone
"But we're stuck." the Doctor added "We 'aven't got the TARDIS an' we need to analyse that wormhole."
"We have a scientific advisor on site. Dr Malcolm Taylor. He's just the man you need. He's a genius."
"Is he?" the Doctor scoffed "We'll see about that."
"Oi, give the man a chance." Gazelle scolded him.
"Here's the Doctor." they heard Magambo say to someone
"No, I'm alright now, thanks." a Welshman's voice replied "It was just a bit of a sore throat, although I've got to be honest, a cup of tea would be nice."
"No, it's THE Doctor." the Time Lords heard Magambo tell him
"D'you mean the 'Doctor' doctor?" the man, clearly Malcolm asked, sounding star struck
"I know." Magambo told him "We all want to meet him one day, but we know what that day will bring."
"We can hear everyfink you're sayin'." the Doctor spoke up
"Hello, Doctor?" Malcolm asked "Oh, my goodness!"
"Yes, I am." the Doctor grinned "Hello, Malcolm!"
"And is Gazelle with you?" Malcolm asked
"Yep, right here." Gazelle said into the phone
"Cor blimey!" Malcolm said, sounding awestruck at speaking to the Time Lords " I can't believe I'm speaking to both of you. I mean, I've read all the files on the Doctor."
"Really?" the Doctor asked, his pride touched "What was ya favourite? The giant robot?"
"Time and place, dear." Gazelle reminded the Doctor. Now was not the time to reminisce about the Doctor's U.N.I.T exploits
"Right, right." the Doctor nodded "Let's sort out that wormhole. S'cuse us." he said to the other passengers and he and Gazelle moved to the driver's cab to converse to U.N.I.T in private "Malcolm, somefink's not makin' sense here." the Doctor said "We've got a storm an' a wormhole, an' we can't 'elp but fink there's a connection. We need a complete full-range analysis of that wormhole, the whole thing."
"I've probably got the wrong idea, but I've wired up an integrator." Malcolm said "I though it could measure the energy signature."
"No, that'll never work." the Doctor began "Just listen to me..."
"It's quite extraordinary, though." Malcolm remarked "I'm measuring an oscillation of 15 Malcolms per second."
"15 what?"
"15 Malcolms. It's my own little term. A wavelength parcel of 10 kilohertz in 4 dimensions equals one Malcolm."
"You named a unit of measurement after yourself?" Gazelle remarked
"It didn't do Mr Watt any harm." Malcolm answered
"Fair enough." Gazelle shrugged "Just don't give my husband any ideas. His ego's big enough as it is."
"Oi!" the Doctor huffed. Gazelle just winked at him, meaning she was just teasing.
"Furthermore." Malcolm continued "100 Malcolms equals a Bernard."
"An' who's that? Your dad?" the Doctor asked
"Don't be ridiculous." Malcom snorted "That's Quatermass."
"Appropriate." Gazelle remarked "The Doctor was basically Quatermass in his U.N.I.T days."
"S'pose I was." the Doctor shrugged "Anyway, before we die of old age, which in our case would be quite an achievement, so congratulations on that, is there anyone else we could talk to?"
"Doctor!" Gazelle scolded, giving him a pointed look
"No, no, no, but listen." Malcolm said hastily "I set the scanner to register what it can't detect and inverted the image."
"You did what?" the Doctor stared
"Is that wrong?"
"No, Malcolm, that's brilliant." the Doctor praised "So you can actually measure the wormhole."
"Told ya to give him a chance." Gazelle smiled
"Ok, I admit that is genius." the Doctor said
"The Doctor called me a genius!" the Time Lords heard Malcolm say to Magambo
"I know, I heard." Magambo said flatly
"Now, we need you to run a capacity scan." Gazelle said down the phone "We're gonna need a full report when it's done. Could ya see to that, please?"
"Yes, ma'am!" Malcolm replied enthusiastically
"An' Malcom?" the Doctor said "You're our new best friend."
"And you're both mine, sir, ma'am." Malcolm said before the Doctor ended the call, then he and Gazelle stepped outside the bus
"Barclay, we're 'angin' on to this." the Doctor called
"Then you'd better bring it back." Barclay called back
The Time Lords went off, Christina following them. The trio climbed back up the sand dune they'd been on earlier and the Doctor used the phone's camera to take a photo of the approaching clouds "Send this back to Earth." he explained "See if Malcolm can analyse it."
"There's something in those clouds." Christina observed, eyeing them closely "Something shining. Look."
Gazelle slipped her sunglasses on and studied the clouds closely. Now that they were a bit closer, she could make out more of what was in them "It's metal." she noted, seeing the reflective sheen of metal within the clouds
"Why would there be metal in a storm?" Christina wandered, then she heard a chirping sound "Did you two hear something?" she asked the Time Lords
"Hold on. Busy." the Doctor waved her off as he snapped away at the clouds, while Gazelle continued to study them closely
"There was a noise." Christina muttered "Like a sort of..." she looked around to see an alien straight out of an old fashioned sci-fi movie, with a Humanoid body and an insectoid head watching them "Doctor, Gazelle!" Christina warned, and the Time Lords spun round to see the alien
The alien walked closer to them, brandishing a blaster pistol and speaking in a clicking language. The Doctor responded in the same language. "That's 'wait'." Gazelle translated for Christina "He likes to say that quite a lot. Actually works more than you'd think."
"You speak the language?" Christina asked the Doctor
"Five billion." he answered, then spoke to the alien again
"Now he's asking for mercy." Gazelle translated for Christina
The alien said something and wagged it's gun to the side "That means move." Christina noted
"Ooh, ya learnin'." the Doctor remarked as the alien motioned for them to move.
The alien escorted them to it's ship, which had crashed in the sand nearby "These fly things, they must be responsible." Christina pondered "They brought us here."
"No, I don't think it was them." Gazelle replied "Look at the state the ship. Must've have crashed like we did."
The alien led the trio inside the ship, which was in a state of disarray with wires poking out places they shouldn't "Ugh! This place is freezing." Christina shivered
"The hull's made of photafine steel." the Doctor explained "Turns cold when it's 'ot outside. Boiling hot desert outside, freezin' ship inside."
"Both extremes." Gazelle remarked "Bit like you, Christina."
"That's how I like things, extreme." Christina smirked
The Doctor looked around the ship with his usual geeky enthusiasm "Oh, this is beautiful!" he grinned "Well, not as much as you." he hastily said to Gazelle, who just smiled wryly "Intact, it must've been magnificent. A proper streamlined deep-spacer!"
"I'll remember that as I'm being slowly tortured." Christina said flatly "At least I'm bleeding on the floor of a really well-designed spaceship."
Just then, a second alien walked over to them and activated a device clipped to it's shirt "Oh, good, right, yes." the Doctor said to it, then turned to Christina "That's a telepathic translator. He can understand us."
"Still sounds like gibberish to me." Christina remarked as the two aliens said things in their language
"It's telepathic." Gazelle told her "Only works one way."
"'You will suffer for your crimes.' etc." the Doctor translated "'You have committed an act of violence against the Tritovore race.' Tritovores, they're called Tritovores." he explained to Christina "'You came here in the 200 to destroy us.' Sorry, what's the 200?" he asked
"It's the number of the bus." Gazelle told him "Route 200."
"Oh." the Doctor nodded and turned back to the Tritovores "No, look I fink ya makin' the same mistake Christina did. I'm the Doctor, by the way. This is my wife, Gazelle, an' that's Christina, the honourable Lady Christina. At least I 'ope she's 'onourable. But we got pulled through that wormhole. The 200 doesn't look like that normally. It's broken, just the same as you."
The Tritovores conversed in their language then lowered their guns "What're doing?" Christina asked warily
"They believe him." Gazelle told her
"What, just like that?"
"I've got a very honest face." the Doctor shrugged
"Plus the translator must have a lie detector in it." Gazelle smirked
"Plus the face." the Doctor pouted
"I love the face." Gazelle said, giving him a small kiss on the cheek
"And I adore yours." the Doctor grinned, then turned to the Tritovores to get down to business "Right, so, first things first, there's a very strange storm headin' our way. Can ya send out a probe?" the Tritovores clicked their consent and led them to a control console "Ah, they've lost power." the Doctor mused, looking at the console "Hmm, the crash knocked the mainline crystalllography outta alignment."
"No prob." Gazelle said, and gave the console a good kick, causing it to spring to life again. A Tritovore clicked something to the Doctor
"Yes, she does." the Doctor chuckled. The Tritovore had commented that Gazelle had a powerful kick. The Doctor had been on the receiving end of her kick a few times. It seemed that while her previous incarnation was partial to whacking him on the shoulder when he was in the wrong, this incarnation preferred to kick him in the shin. "Oke-doke, let's launch that probe." he pulled a lever and a probe shot out of the ship and into space.
The probe's results were soon beamed back and the trio looked at a projection showing where they were "The Scorpion Nebula." the Doctor explained to Christina "We're on the other side of the universe. Just what ya wanted, Christina, so far away." the probe zoomed in on a planet "The planet of San Helios."
"And that's us?" Christina asked "We're on another planet?"
"We 'ave been for quite a while."
"I know, but seeing it like that..."
"Makes it more real, doesn't it?" Gazelle smiled, patting the woman's shoulder
"Wonderful." Christina nodded
The Tritovores clicked again "The Tritovores were going to trade wiv San Helios." the Doctor translated "Population of one 'undred billion. Plenty of waste matter for 'em to absorb."
"By waste matter, you mean...?" Christina questioned, not really sure if she wanted to hear the answer
"What do flies eat?" Gazelle asked her, confirming Christina's suspicion
"Charming." Christina wrinkled her nose "Just remind me never to kiss them."
The hologram changed to show a futuristic city "San Helios City." the Doctor explained
"That's amazing." Christina breathed, then noticed the blase expressions on the Time Lords' faces "You've both seen this sort of thing before, haven't you?"
"We've been around a bit." Gazelle confirmed
"That Lord and Ladyship of yours." Christina eyed them both "Lord and Lady of where, exactly?"
"Of time." the Doctor replied "We come from a race of people called Time Lords."
"You're aliens?!"
"Yep." Gazelle nodded "Last time we checked we were."
"You both look Human." Christina remarked
"You look Time Lord." the Doctor countered
"So if that's San Helios." Christina pointed to the hologram "All we need to do is find that city. They can help us!"
"I don't fink it's that simple." the Doctor said as the hologram changed to show desert "We're in the city right now."
"But it's sand!" Christina pointed out "That first image, the temples and things, what's that, then? Ancient history?"
One of the Tritovores clicked something "The image was taken last year." the Doctor translated
"It became a desert in one year?" Christina stared
"The Doctor said there was something in the sand." Gazelle murmured uneasily, picking up a bit of sand and sifting it through her fingers "It's everything. The buildings, oceans, mountains, wildlife, one billion hundred people, all turned to sand. All those voices Carmen heard, she was hearing them all die!" she finished grimly
"But I've got sand in my hair!" Christina spluttered "Oh my God!"
"Somefink destroyed the whole San Helios." the Doctor frowned
"Yes, but in my hair!" Christina squirmed
Just then, Barclay's mobile rang and the Doctor answered "Malcolm, tell us the bad news."
"Oh, you are clever." Malcolm answered "It IS bad news. It's the wormhole, Doctor, it's getting bigger! We've gone way past 100 Bernards, I haven't invented a name for that."
"How can it get bigger by itself?" the Doctor wandered
"Well, that's why I'm phoning!" Malcolm said "You'll work it out, if I know you, sir."
"Doctor." Magambo's voice took over "We estimate the circumference of your invisible wormhole is now four miles, heading upwards. I've grounded all flights above London. We can't risk anyone else falling through."
"Good work." the Doctor agreed "Both of you."
"But I have to know. Does that wormhole constitute a danger to this planet?" Magambo asked seriously
The Doctor was hesitant to answer that. He knew that if he said yes, then U.N.I.T would go on the offensive and try to seal the wormhole, leaving the party on the bus trapped here. He was saving from answering by an incoming call "Oh, sorry, call waiting. Gotta go." he said and hung up on U.N.I.T, then answered the other call "Yep?"
"Doctor, it's Nathan. We've got those duckboard things down, but..."
"It's my fault." the Time Lords heard Angela say tearfully
"No it's not. Don't say that." Nathan comforted her
"What's wrong?" Gazelle asked
"We kept on turning the engine." Nathan replied "But we're out of diesel, used it all up. Even if we can get those wheels out, this bus is never gonna move."
The Doctor slowly lowered the phone, trying to think of another idea "What is it, what's wrong?" Christina asked
"You promised you'd get us home." Nathan said "Doctor, Gazelle, are you still there?"
Gazelle took the phone "Yeah, we're here, Nathan. We'll think of something else. Sit tight." she hung up and she and the Doctor began conversing in Galifreyean, discussing their options
They were interrupted by a bleeping sound from one of the monitors and the Tritovores chatting "It's the probe." the Doctor explained to Christina "It's reached the storm." he eyed the projection
"What's he saying?" Christina asked as one of the Tritovores clicked worriedly
"It's not a storm." the Doctor replied grimly and the projection changed to show what appeared to be a swarm of stingrays
"It's a swarm." Christina breathed
"Billions of 'em." Gazelle said as one of the stingrays flew straight at the camera and the visual cut off
"Ah, we've lost the feed." the Doctor groaned "I fink it got eaten. Everyfink on this planet gets eaten."
"How far away is that swarm?" Christina asked
"100 miles." the Doctor answered "But at that speed, it'll be 'ere in 20 minutes." one of the Tritovores asked something "No, they're not just comin' for us." the Doctor answered "They want the wormhole."
"They're heading for Earth!" Christina breathed in horror
"Can we see the analysis?" Gazelle asked the Tritovores, who brought up a 3D image of one of the stingrays
"Incredible." the Doctor remarked "They swarm out of a wormhole, strip the planet bare, then move on to the next world, start the cycle all over again."
"So they make the wormholes?" Christina asked
"Must do." Gazelle nodded
"But how? They don't exactly look like technicians. And if the wormholes belongs to them, why are they 100 miles away?"
"Because they need to be?" the Doctor pondered "No, that's bonkers. Hang on. Yes! Oh, d'ya see?" he turned to Gazelle, knowing she'd be able to keep up with his train of thought "Billions of 'em flyin' in formation all the way round the planet. Round an' round an' round. Faster an' faster an' faster till they generate a rupture in space."
"And with their speed, number and size, they rip that wormhole into existence." Gazelle nodded
"And the wormhole's getting bigger." Christina spoke up
"Because they're getting closer." the Doctor confirmed
"But how do they get through?" Christina wandered "Cos' that wormhole's a killer, we've seen it."
"No, but look at the exoskeleton." Gazelle said, gesturing to the analysis
"Metal?" Christina noted
"Metal bones." the Time Lady confirmed "They must be able to eat metal and extrude it into their exoskeleton."
"So their velocity makes the wormhole, then their body makes it safe." the Doctor surmised "Perfect design!"
"Those things are going to turn the entire Earth into a desert." Christina said in horror, then noticed the Doctor's expression "So why exactly are you smiling?" she asked him
"Because he doesn't know any better." Gazelle shook her head
"Aw, come on, you love it too." the Doctor snorted
"There's nothing to love about stingrays that eat whole planets." Gazelle reprimanded him
"The thing is, you're both missing the obvious." Christina said "We came here through the wormhole, yes? But our Tritovore friends didn't. They came here to trade with San Helios. Therefore, the question is, why did they crash?"
"Good point." Gazelle nodded and turned to the Tritovores "Like she said, why did you crash?"
One of the Tritovores led them to a room with a large opening in the floor "Oh, yes. Gravity well." the Doctor nodded "Goes all the way down to the engine. So what happened?" he asked the Tritovore, who clicked an answer "'The drive system stalled'." the Doctor translated for Christina "10 miles up, they fell out of the sky."
"But how did that happen?" Gazelle asked the Tritovore, who shrugged
"Which means 'No idea.'" Christina surmised
"Yeah, but wait a minute." the Doctor said "That's a crystal nucleus down there, yes?" he asked the Tritovore who nodded "And it looks like it survived the crash. If the crystal's intact, oh yes, that's better than diesel!"
"What, you can use the crystal to move the bus?" Christina asked
"Hopefully." Gazelle replied "This ship's a write-off, but the bus is intact enough."
"How does a crystal drive a bus?" Christina questioned
Gazelle was about to answer, but the Doctor cut in, eager for a chance to show off "In a super clever outer space way, just trust us." he brought up a visual feed on a monitor beside the gravity well "There's the crystal! It's fallen to the bottom of the well. Have ya got access shafts?" he asked the Tritovore, who clicked an answer "Frozen?" the Doctor sighed
"Tell ya what, we could try hacking them open." Gazelle suggested
The Doctor nodded his approval of the idea then spotted two earpieces on the floor "Internal comms." he tossed one to Christina and put the other one in his ear "Put that on. Stay 'ere. Keep an eye on the shaft. Tell me if anyfink 'appens." he, Gazelle and the Tritovore returned to the control room
"We might be able to use the sunlight to start the automatic maintenance." Gazelle explained to the Tritovores as she started messing with wires
"Christina, if ya see a panel opening in that shaft, let me know." the Doctor said into his earpiece, as his wife and the Tritovores got to work
"Nothing yet." Christina reported
Gazelle plugged another wire in "Anyfink now?" the Doctor asked Christina
"Fraid not." was the answer
Gazelle fiddled with some more wires "Any sign of movement?" the Doctor tried
"Nope!"
The Tritovores tweaked a few plugs "How's that?" the Doctor asked
"Nothing."
The Doctor soniced a control "Any result?" he asked
"Not a dickie bird." Christina answered "So let me get this right, you need the crystal? Then consider it done."
"Why, what d'ya mean?" the Doctor asked, then he and Gazelle suddenly realised that Christina was about to do something rash, so they both sprinted back into the room with the gravity well to find Christina standing on the edge, hooked up to a winch
"The aristocracy survives for a reason." Christina smirked at them "We're ready for anything." and she promptly dived into the shaft before either Time Lord could reach her
"No!" the Doctor shouted and soniced the winch, bringing Christina to a stop "That's better." the Doctor said
"I decide when I stop, thank you." Christina said indignantly
"Ya about to hit the security grid." the Doctor told her "Look."
Christina looked down to see a cracking grid of energy just a few inched below her "Excellent. So what do I do?"
"Try the big red button." the Doctor instructed
Christina did just that and the grid deactivated "Well done!"
Gazelle took the earpiece from the Doctor "Come back up." she urged "I can do that."
"Oh, don't you wish!" Christina snorted
"Careful, then." Gazelle conceeded
"Yes, ma'am." Christina grinned and resumed her descent
"You're quite the enigma, aren't you?" Gazelle remarked "Not many people I know carry a winch in their bag."
"No stranger than you two." Christina retorted "Spaceman and antelope girl."
"We had a friend that used to call him Spaceman." Gazelle sighed, remembering Donna. Although it had been nearly a year for them since they'd lost Donna, her loss was still an open wound
"And was she right?" Christina asked "Do you both zoom about the place in a rocket."
The Doctor took the earpiece back, while Gazelle decided to have a mooch inside Christina's backpack "Well, a little blue box." he answered "Travels in more than space. It can journey through time, Christina. Oh, the places we've been. World War One. The creation of the universe, the end of the universe, the war between China an' Japan." Gazelle lifted out the chalice Christina had swiped from the gallery "An' the court of King Athelstan, 924 AD." the Doctor remarked "But I don't remember you being there, an' I don't fink Gazelle does either, so what're you doin' wiv this?"
"Excuse me, a gentlemen never goes through a lady's possessions." Christina said indignantly
"No, but's perfectly alright for ladies to." Gazelle retorted "And that's what I did. Quite the Feathers McGraw, aren't you?"
A Tritovore clicked an inquiry as to what the chalice was "It's the cup of Athelstan." the Doctor explained "Given to the first king of Britain, as a coronation gift from Hywell, king of the Welsh. But it's been 'eld in the International Galley. Which makes you, Lady Christina, a thief."
"I like to thing I liberated it." Christina said nonchalantly
"Don't tell us you need the money."
"Daddy lost everything. He invested a fortune in the Icelandic banks."
"No, no, no, if ya short of cash, you rob a bank. Stealin' this, that's a lifestyle."
"I take you disapprove." Christina asked, not really caring
"Absolutely. Except, that little blue box, I stole it from my own people."
"And he buggered it up." Gazelle teased
"Good boy." Christina laughed, then she heard a screeching noise from somewhere nearby "What the blazes was that?!"
"We never did find out why this ship crashed." the Doctor said ominously "Christina, I fink you should come back up."
"Too late. I can see it." Christina said, seeing a yellow crystal just below her
"Careful." the Doctor warned "Slowly." he turned to the Tritovore "Have ya got an open vent system?" it answered in the affirmative "I fought so." the Doctor swallowed
"What does that mean?" Christina asked, having overhead that
Gazelle took the earpiece "You know what happens when birds fly into plane engines?" she asked
"One of the creatures!" Christina realised, looking around to see one of the stingrays lying dormant nearby
"Must've gotten trapped in the vents and caused the crash." Gazelle confirmed "Now, please Christina, get outta there!"
"It's not moving." Christina objected "I think it's injured."
"Or just dormant because of the cold." the Time Lady countered "But your body heat's rising the temperature."
"I tend to have that effect." Christina joked "Almost there." she reached the crystal
"Right, we need the whole thing." Gazelle instructed "Including the bed it's sitting on."
Christina grabbed the base and lifted it up "I've got it!" she crowed, but then saw the creature begin to move.
The Doctor soniced the winch, bringing Christina back up "Come on, come on." he grunted, frustrated at how slow it was
Gazelle checked the monitor and saw that the stingray was pursuing Christina "She's got company!" she warned, then she saw Christina press the red button, reactivating the security grid and causing the stingray to fly into it, halting it in it's tracks "Oh, I really like her!" Gazelle laughed
Christina reached the top of the shaft and the Time Lords helped her out of the harness. The Tritovore clicked something "Isn't she just?" the Doctor grinned and they ran back into the control room "Commander?" the Doctor called to the other Tritovore "Mission complete! Now've we've gotta get back to the 200, all of us." the Tritovore commander clicked something "Oh, don't be so daft!" the Doctor snorted "A captain can leave 'is ship if there's a bus standin' by."
Then they all heard a rumbling. "What the hell was that?" Christina looked around uneasily "Is this place safe?" more rumbling sounded "It's the creature. It's not dead."
"Maybe you didn't just hit one of 'em." the Doctor said to the Tritovores "If ya hit a swarm..."
"D'you mean if there's more on board?" Christina stared
"This ship's built inside a metal sleeve." the Doctor swallowed "They can move through the infrastructure, all around us." banging sounded all around them "An' they wake up hungry."
"Then what're we waiting for? C'mon!" Gazelle urged, then addressed the Tritovores "We've got a ship back on Earth, we can us it to get you both home."
That was good enough for the Tritovores and the quintet all ran for it out of the ship and across the desert, the swarm getting uncomfortably close now. As they bolted across the sand, Barclay's phone rang "Not now, Malcolm!" the Doctor said and hung up
They soon reached the bus, where Nathan and Barclay were standing outside "At last!" Nathan said, glad to see them back safely, then he saw the Tritovores "What're they?!" he stared
"People who crashed, just like us." Gazelle told him "Everyone inside, now!" so Nathan, Barclay and the Tritovores all scrambled inside the bus
"Now then, let's 'ave a look." the Doctor mumbled, crouching down in the sand and fiddling with the crystal
"So what does that crystal do?" Christina asked
"Oh, nothing. Don't need the crystal." the Doctor replied "Here." he tossed it to Gazelle "Souvenir ."
"So I risked my life for a souvenir." Christina grumbled
"No, no, you risked ya life for these, clamps!" the Doctor replied, unhooking the clamps that had held the crystal in place. He handed two to Gazelle, who attached them to the wheels on the left-side of the bus, while he went round to the other side with the remaining two clamps and attached them to the wheels on that side
"But what are the clamps for?" Christina asked when the Time Lords finished "Do they turn the wheels?"
"Sort of, yeah." Gazelle replied, going back inside the bus and hoping into the driver's seat "Just need to fix this." she placed the plate base to the steering wheel "Don't suppose you've got a hammer in that bag of yours?"
"Funnily enough..." Christina reached into her bag and produced a hammer, which she handed to the Time Lady, while the Doctor pulled out Barclay's phone and dialed Malcolm
"Malcolm, it us!" he said when Malcolm answered
"I'm ready!" Malcolm said eagerly
"Ready for what?"
"I dunno, you tell me."
"We'll try to get back." the Doctor told him "There might be somefink followin' us. You need to find a way to close that wormhole."
"Would that be a compressed burst of feedback on a counter-oscillation, perchance?"
"Oh, Malcolm, you're brilliant!" the Doctor praised
"Coming from you, sir, that means the world."
"What sort of something?" Magambo's voice took over "That wormhole is now measuring 10 miles and growing, I need to know the exact nature of the threat."
"Sorry, gotta go." the Doctor said hastily and hung up
Gazelle was busy patching the base plate into the bus's electrical systems when the wires suddenly sparked "Ah, not compatible." she groaned "We need to weld the systems together." she explained to the Doctor and Christina
"And how do we do that?" Christina asked
"We need somefink non-corrosive." the Doctor told her "Malleable, ductile..." he thought for a moment "Gold!" he looked expectantly
"Oh no you don't." she said quickly
"Christina, there's no other way." Gazelle told her "It's either the chalice or everyone's lives."
Barclay came over, offering his wristwatch "Hey, hey, use this."
"I said gold." the Doctor told him
"It is gold." Barclay insisted
"Oh, they saw you comin'." the Doctor snorted "Christina?"
Barclay returned to his seat while Christina reluctantly handed the chalice to the Time Lords "It's over 1,000 years old." she told them "Worth 18 million pounds. Promise me you'll be careful."
"I promise." the Doctor replied, handing the chalice to Gazelle, who promptly flipped it over and started bashing the bottom with the hammer "I lied." the Doctor shrugged
"I hate you two." Christina grumbled
Gazelle finished up with the chalice "Ready." she told the Doctor, who turned to the passengers
"This is your conductor speaking." he told them "Hold on tight."
"What for?" Barclay questioned "What's she doing?"
"Do as he says." Christina told him, then turned to the Doctor "What is she doing?" she asked him
"Wait an' see." the Doctor grinned, a glint in his eyes
"Here goes nothing." Gazelle said and flipped the master switch. The bus's engine spluttered then sprang to life, before the bus began to levitate out of the sand like a hovercraft.
"Ah, you are so kidding me!" Barclay laughed
"We're flying!" Nathan whooped "It's flying!"
"She's flying the bus!" Lou cheered while the Tritovores clicked in amazement
"It's a miracle!" Angela breathed
"Anti-gravity clamps." Gazelle explained to Christina "Turns the bus into a heli-jet. Ok, 180." she spun the wheel and the bus turned in a half-circle in mid-air so that it was facing the wormhole
"They're coming!" Carmen warned, sensing that they had company.
The Time Lords looked into the side mirrors to see the swarm of stingrays getting ever closer "Do you think this thing will survive the journey back?" Christina asked them
"Only one way to find out." the Doctor replied "Next stop..."
"Planet Earth." Gazelle finished "Here we go!" she drove the bus forward into the wormhole
There was a flash of light then the bus shot out of the wormhole back in London, where U.N.I.T was on the scene "It's London!" Barclay shouted in relief
"We're back home!" Angela cheered
"They did it!" Nathan praised "They did it!"
Unfortunately, they were not alone as three of the stingrays followed them though. U.N.I.T promptly opened fire on them. The Doctor quickly got on the mobile "Malcolm! Close that wormhole!"
"My pleasure, sir!" Malcolm replied and promptly hung up
"He's hung up on me!" the Doctor pouted
"Taste of ya own medicine." Gazelle retorted, focussing on piloting the bus out of U.N.I.T's line of fire
The Doctor dialled Malcolm again "Malcolm!"
"Not now, I'm busy." Malcolm waved him off and hung up again
"And again." the Doctor grumbled then dialled for a third time "Malcolm, listen to me!"
"It's not working!" Malcolm cried
"We need that signal!" the Doctor told him urgently "We've got billion of those things about to fly through!"
"Well, what do I do?"
"Try looping it through the integrator and keep ramping the signal up." Gazelle advised
"But by how much?"
"500 Bernards!" the Doctor shouted "Now do as she says!"
A moment later, Malcolm was back on the line "It worked!"
The wormhole closed and U.N.I.T was able to deal with the stingrays. They'd brought a mortar with them which made short work of two of the stingrays, but the third went after the flying bus "It's coming for us!" Nathan warned. The Tritovores were on the case. They leaned out of the windows and took pot-shots at the stingray with their blaster, forcing it back into the line of fire of the mortar, which brought the creature down.
"Did I say I hated you two?" Christina said to the Time Lords "I was lying." she grinned when she saw the Doctor promptly kiss Gazelle passionately
The Doctor pulled away from his wife and turned to address everyone "Do not stand forward of this point." he said, doing his best bus conductor impression "Ladies an' gentlemen, you have reached your destination. Welcome home, the mighty 200."
Gazelle gently piloted the bus into land in front of the soldiers who all applauded. The Doctor soniced the doors open and the passengers disembarked. "Welcome back." a soldier said to everyone "If you could just step away from the bus to be safe. Fast as you can. It's standard procedure. We need to screen you, and then you'll all be taken for debriefing."
"We don't count." the Doctor said as he and Gazelle stepped out, both flashing their psychic papers at the soldier
"Neither do they." Gazelle added, gesturing to the Tritovores "They're our responsibility."
"No, but Doctor, Gazelle..." Christina began, making to follow them
"With me, ma'am." the soldier said, taking her arm and leading her away.
The Time Lords and Tritovores headed over to where a black woman in an officer's uniform, clearly Captain Magambo, and a short bespectacled men in a lab coat, clearly Malcolm, were standing "Doctor!" Malcolm gasped
"You must be Malcolm." the Doctor laughed
Malcolm promptly launched himself at the Time Lord and pulled him into a bear hug "Oh! Oh, I love you!" he exclaimed. The women had to hide their laughter at that "I love you!" Malcolm repeated
"Looks like you've got an admirer." Gazelle said wryly to her husband
Malcolm turned to her "A-a-and you, Gazelle." he said and hugged her too
Magambo cleared her throat "To your station, Dr Taylor."
"Yes, ma'am." Malcolm nodded "I love you both!" he called to the Time Lords as he went back to his mobile lab
"Doctor, Gazelle." Magambo saluted both Time Lords "I salute you two, whether you like it or not. Now, I take it we're safe from those things?" she nodded to the bodies of the stingrays
"They'll start again." the Doctor replied "Generate a new doorway. It's not their fault, it's their natural cycle. But we'll see if we can nudge the wormholes onto uninhabited planets. Closer to 'ome, captain, those two lads." he nodded towards Nathan and Barclay "Very good in a crisis. Nathan needs a job, Barclay's good wiv engines. You could do a lot worse. Privates Nathan an' Barclay, U.N.I.T's finest."
"I'll see what I can do." Magambo nodded "And I've got something for you two." she gestured to where some soldiers were unloading the TARDIS off the back of a lorry
"Ah, home sweet home." Gazelle smiled "Beats a bus any day."
"Found in the gardens of Buckingham Palace." Magambo remarked as they walked over towards the box
"Oh, she doesn't mind." the Doctor shrugged
"Now, I've got three dead alien stingrays to clear up." Magambo said to the Doctor "I don't suppose you fancy helping with the paperwork?"
"Not a chance." the Doctor smirked
"Gotta take our two new friends home anyway." Gazelle added, opening the TARDIS door for the Tritovores to go inside
"Till me meet again, Doctor." Magambo conceded
"I hope so." the Doctor replied, shaking her hand
"Thank you for everything, captain." Gazelle shook her hand too
Meanwhile, Christina found herself being scanned with a Geiger counter "That's quite enough of that!" she snapped, loosing patience, and ran over to the Time Lords "Little blue box, just like you said. Right then, off we go! Come on, show me the stars."
"No." the Doctor said simply
"What?"
"I said no." the Doctor repeated
"But I saved your lives and you saved mine." Christina protested
"And we thank you for that, but the answer's still no." Gazelle told her
"We're surrounded by police. I'll go to prison."
"We're sorry, Christina, but if you can't do the time, don't do the crime." Gazelle said simply
"But you were right, it's not about the money." Christina tried "I only steal things for the adventure, and today, with you two... I want more days like this. I want every day to be like this. Why not?"
"People 'ave travelled wiv us an' we've lost 'em." the Doctor told her seriously "Lost 'em all. Never again."
Just then, the detective inspector from the gallery came striding smugly over "Lady Christina DeSouza, oh, I have waited a long time to say this." he boasted "I am arresting you on suspicion of theft." his officers handcuffed Christina "You do not have to say anything, etc, etc. Dennison, take her away." Christina was led away towards a police car
Just then, Carmen called over to the Time Lords "Doctor? You take care now."
"You too." the Doctor smiled "Chops an' gravy!"
"No, but you be careful." Carmen said seriously "Because your song is ending, sir, as her's did."
Both Time Lords' smiles disappeared at that, remembering Ood Sigma saying similar words, and he'd been correct about Donna and Gazelle's regeneration "What d'ya mean?" the Doctor asked uneasily
"It is returning. It is returning through the dark." Carmen said ominously "And then, Doctor... oh, but then... he will knock four times." she gave him a sad look then went off with her husband, leaving both Time Lords rattled at this revelation
"I am really getting fed up with prophecies." Gazelle mumbled. It seemed every prophecy lately ended with something terrible happening. The last prophecy had ended up with the Daleks returning and nearly destroying reality itself and she shuddered to think what Carmen's warning was referring to.
The Doctor looked over to where Christina was being led to a police car. Having a change of hearts, he flashed his sonic at her cuffs, unlocking them. Christina smirked as she felt the cuffs come undone. She slid into the car's back seat, then promptly got out the other side and made a break for it.
"No!" the D.I yelled "Stop that woman! Stop her! Don't just stand there, stop her!" U.N.I.T ignored him, all annoyed at how the D.I had been poking his nose in while they'd been trying to sort things out.
Christina jumped into the bus and sat in the driver's seat, shutting the doors in the D.I's face "Open that door!" he demanded "I'll add resisting arrest!"
"I'd step back if I were you." Gazelle called to him, knowing what was coming next
"I'm charging you two as well!" the D.I rounded on the Time Lords "Aiding and abetting!"
"Yes." the Doctor said innocently "We'll just step inside this box an' arrest ourselves." he and Gazelle promptly went back to the TARDIS
"Out, now!" the D.I growled, pounding on the bus' doors. Christina just gave him a cheeky wave and started up the bus, which levitated off the ground "No! Come back!" the D.I shouted futilely
As the bus hovered over the TARDIS, it stopped and Christina called down to the Time Lords "The three of us could've been good together."
"We were." the Doctor called back, and the bus promptly flew off into the night, while the Doctor and Gazelle stepped into the TARDIS, ready to take the Tritovores home then resume their travels.
Author's notes: And so we kick off the Fall of Ten arc. Note I spared the Tritovores here. I try to spare at least one life per story. Jabe in series 1, Ursula in series 2, Astrid and Bannakaffalatta in series 3 and now the Tritovores. RTD has said that the Tritovores were killed off because he didn't know what to do with them once everyone got back to Earth, clearly forgetting that the Doctor could simply use the TARDIS to take them home, so I did just that. I debated as to whether I should have the Doctor drive the bus as in the episode, or have Gazelle do it. I chose the latter, since I felt it was about time she had a go at driving a vehicle again. I don't think I've had her drive a vehicle since series 2. My rational for Gazelle doing the driving here is that she has experience at handling hover vehicles, way back in The Idiot's Lantern she mentioned having a hoverbike on Galifrey, so her experience with that came into it's own here. The next episode is gonna pose a massive challenge. Some winging it is gonna be required, so we'll have to wait and see what happens. See ya next time!