I wish you a great year 2021! Let's hope it'll be better than 2020!

More chapters coming up soon! If you recognize it, it is not mine.

The following chapter contains references to the episode Hawk's Nightmare.

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Claudia yawned very loudly and stretched her arms, still hazy with sleep. Rubbing her eyes with fists, she tried to sit up, but realized she was alone in her bed now and froze.

"Very good morning to you, my doctorette." Hawkeye said, moving his chair closer to the bed.

"Oh, there you are." She growled, snuggling into the blanket. Taking a deep breath, she woke up just enough to speak more clearly. "How come you are so active so early?"

"My shift in Post-Op starts in twenty minutes." Hawkeye watched Claudia sit up and handed her a cup of coffee.

"Thank youuu." She said the second word slowly, while inhaling the aroma of freshly made coffee. After a few sips Claudia focused on the man hunched over next to her. "Did you sleep at all?" She inquired in soft whispery voice.

Hawkeye's eyes dropped to the floor as he drank from his cup, delaying the answer. "Not really." He admitted quietly, running his hands through his morning hair. He looked exhausted.

Claudia put her cup down and moved closer so she could kiss Hawkeye's lips. It was a long, but innocent kiss tasting of sweet coffee. She let her hands linger in his hair, letting their bodies enjoy the closeness. "Did you have another nightmare?"

"No. I just couldn't fall sleep after the first one." Finished with his coffee, he discarded the cup and hugged Claudia back. He felt her hands gently sliding from his hair to his back, never leaving his body. Her touch had become therapy for him in the past few days. It was like he was addicted to her, his body needed Claudia's touch to function properly. She kept running her hands up and down his back, keeping him alive. Their lips separated for a moment as they tried to catch a breath, looking into each other's eyes.

"Hawk? Do you want to switch shifts?" Her voice interrupted his thoughts, startling him a little. Hawkeye held her so tight, he was able to feel her chest expand when she breathed in, distracting him from the conversation. "It wouldn't be any trouble at all." Claudia offered.

"No, I am fine. Been in a worse state many times before…"

"Only if you're sure."

Hawkeye nodded vehemently in agreement, but noticed right away how the atmosphere in the tent was bizarre. Neither of them wanted to address the difficult issue hanging in the air. It was just simpler to get lost in the kisses rather than to discuss the sudden change of mood in their relationship or whether there was a relationship to begin with.

Claudia took his hands and tugged on it to get him on the bed next to her. There was an uncomfortable smile on his face when he sat down, but it went away pretty quickly and was replaced by his trademark seductive stare that made her feel like the center of the universe.

He planted a sensual kiss on her quivering lips, teasing them with his tongue. Claudia swung her arms around Hawkeye's body, bringing him closer. Sitting down on Hawkeye's lap, she closed her eyes and moaned into the kiss.

"Claudia…" Hawkeye smiled against her lips, interrupting the kiss for a moment. Pulling away to look into her eyes, he caressed her cheek gently. Her lips were lightly swollen from the thorough kissing, but as nicely pink as always. He let out a whine, not wanting to leave her warm embrace.

"So are we still up for lunch?" Claudia asked, twisting a lock of his hair around her finger. He looked adorable with his messy hair and half-closed eyes, but she was worried about how exhausted he was.

"Yes, I'll pick you up after my shift, my beloved."

"Okay, now go or you'll be late."

Hawkeye kissed Claudia for one last time before hurrying out of the tent.

Hawkeye's eyes were often closing on their own volition throughout his shift. It was unusually quiet so there was not much to keep him busy. The only surprise was a broken hand of one of the children from nearby orphanage that needed immediate attention. Otherwise it was mainly nasty infections that roamed around the Post-Op. Nurse Baker was pretty much able to run the show by herself.

Colonel Potter came to check on his patients and kept him company for half an hour. That man had so many stories to tell! During the second half of the conversation Hawkeye kept thinking about asking his CO about Claudia's condition. Not sure if it was because he wasn't prepared to discuss Claudia's future or what, but he just couldn't bring himself to mention it. He started few times a sentence determined to ask, but every time he changed the topic at the last minute.

He should have asked Claudia who knew. Surely Colonel Potter had to. He was the one who ordered her bed rest on several occasions. Maybe Father Mulcahy knew too. But it was inappropriate to ask, wasn't it? Why did it matter to him so much after all? Hawkeye did not understand himself, especially where Claudia was concerned. He didn't even find the courage to give her the gift he bought from Mr. Yee's pushcart.

Sighing, he watched the Colonel leave and went on to make rounds. After that he stretched on one of the empty beds and let his body rest. His mind, however, was racing wild. The burning desire of seeing again Crabapple Cove and return to his normal peaceful life was replaced by the relentless need to enjoy Claudia's presence. And he didn't know what to do with that realization. Never having contemplated the prospect of shared future with someone, he felt confused about what he should do. Their relationship seemed to be at the tipping point and they never even discussed if they were in one. If he was discharged tomorrow, his first thought would be about Claudia. That was not something that screamed 'just friends'.

Should he ignore Claudia's condition and not mention it as she seemed to be ignoring it? Or was she doing it for his benefit? Maybe she wanted to discuss it but didn't want to bother him or was afraid how he'd react. She seemed at peace, but someone with her life story had probably learned how to convincingly fake normalcy. He just wasn't sure how to act around Claudia and she had to notice he lacked his usual confidence. She was amazingly perceptive. But she didn't comment on it, so she was holding back too.

And then there was Nurse Able who winked at him that one time in the mess tent. He never felt guiltier in his whole life and he didn't even do anything or make any promises to Claudia. It certainly did not seem like she wanted any. Was that the problem? Was he so used to being the more casual one in a relationship that he couldn't deal with the roles being reversed? No, that seemed unlikely. But he also never spent so much time thinking about a woman since Katie in the first grade gave him a peck on his cheek.