Such Drama ...
There will be some Panphobic in this chapter !
-[ Recap ]-
``... Thank you, Kahlil. I don't know why I couldn't bring myself to talk to her myself.`` I said.
``Hey, if somebody messes with someone dear to me, they get the "talk."`` He chuckled. He halted before turning to me. ``Just so you know, I'm always here for you. Got it?``
I nodded, smiling. ``Good! Let's go.`` He said before we head off. I averted my gaze away and down at the ground. I don't want to think too much about it; it hurts when I do, but... sometimes... maybe I should accept it. I need people by my side whenever I'm in tough situations that I can't solve my own. That seems right, but first...
Let's see if I can change my medication.
- Dipper's POV -
``You're lucky that you slip by it this morning.`` I heard my sister say. What happened to being siblings? ``Seriously why wouldn't they let you take your medicine?``
``Maybe they're planning to take me out.`` I answered. We were talking about our uncles not allowing Mabel to force my medicine down my throat. I swear, I'm just starting to get nightmares from that. I do... get nightmares every once a while, but... it's something different. I'm glad I don't remember them, but... it pains me to experience them though.
``To where? There's no place to take you anywhere.`` She said, anger in her tone. We walked down the school hallway and over to the lunchroom.
``I'm not quite sure why you're angry about that. I'm actually glad I'm not taking those f-cking meds.`` I cursed.
``Language!`` She hissed.
``Do not tell me what to do.`` I turned to her, glaring. I then looked over to the table where we usually sit.
``I swear, you were so much better than before.`` She said, beginning to walk over to the table.
``Excuse me? You loved seeing me emotionless, uninterested, and under those drugs?`` I asked, following her.
``Well duh, since you're all "smart" now, how about you figure it out yourself.`` She said, turning towards me once we arrived.
``I would say something mean to you, but I won't.`` I said, holding myself back.
``Woah! Sibling drama... What did I miss?`` I turned to the voice, seeing Percy standing up from the table.
``What happened now?`` I heard Alex ask.
``Of course, you wouldn't. You wouldn't want to hurt my feelings anyway.`` Mabel said, glaring daggers at me.
``As shown this morning, I apparently did.`` I muttered. I talked with my uncles about changing my medication before she got up. So that's why I'm keeping this to myself. I don't know why I can't just tell her right now. But I think she won't listen or believe me. ``I don't understand this at all.`` She grumbled, finally sitting down. I shrugged and sat down next to her.
``What did I miss when I was gone?`` Percy asked, surprised.
``A lot...`` Cole answered.
``Indeed you did, but we will tell if ... it's comfortable to tell. Is it Dipper?`` Alex asked, catching my attention.
``... I don't even know what happened. He was gone?`` I asked.
``.. You don't remember my right side being empty as in no Percy was sitting here?`` Alex asked.
``... My memory is fuzzy at the moment, sorry.`` I replied.
``Well, alright. Yes, he was gone because he got irritating and disrespecting you when you were in the hospital.`` He said. I grew a bit uncomfortable when the word "hospital" was mentioned. It made me remember things that I didn't want to remember. ``Of course, he did. Typical Percy move.`` I muttered.
``Hey, I'm sorry for how I acted and treated you before.`` Percy said.
``It will take a while for me to ... trust you again.`` I said, looking back at him. He nodded and sat properly. At least that's good...
``Also nice eye-patch.`` Percy said. I stared at him, forgetting there was an eye-patch on my left eye. ``Thank you.`` I muttered again. Alex turned to smiled at him, only to punch him in the shoulder. ``What was that for?! I was being nice!``
``For no reason, I always wanted to do that.`` Alex snickered before turning back to us. Percy looked disgusted at what he did. I chuckled quietly at the scene before turning to look at Mabel who was glaring at me. ``When will you stop glaring at me?`` I asked.
``I don't know. Maybe you deserve it.`` She hissed.
``Mabel, please stop acting like a cat who doesn't want her attention.`` Percy said.
``I am not! Do not compare me to a damn cat.`` She snapped.
``Jeez, I'm staying out of this sibling drama.`` He said, trying to hide under the table again. Jeez... Mabel is so scary when she's mad. I really wish she would just drop it and calm down.
``What is going on between you two?`` Alex asked. ``Why do you hate Dipper so much, Mabel?``
``Well, because he has gotten a free pass on not taking his meds this morning. And I got in a huge argument with Grunkle Ford... one of my great-uncles.`` She huffed. ``I am still trying to figure out why he do that.``
``Yeah, that is kind of suspicious... why did you get a free pass?`` Alex asked me. I looked away and grunted.
``Are you going to answer?`` I heard my sister say.
``Yes. I am... and the same boat as you. I don't know.`` I said.
``You do know!`` She hissed.
``You know what, I'm not arguing with you anymore if you keep this bullsh-t up.`` I turned to glare at her. ``It is what has been done in the morning, so drop it.``
``Damn, Mason got serious...`` I heard Percy say. Shut it, I'm getting irritated from this all and I feel like going nuts with this. I stared down at my hands, noticing they were shaking once more. Here we go again. I didn't even realize my heart was racing this time around.
``I can't let something like that go to waste.`` Mabel said, lowering the volume of her voice.
``Why?`` I asked, tapping the floor with my foot repeatedly.
``Why? Because it's not fair. With everything happening so peacefully in the previous days, it's been a ride and less stress for me. But while that was happening, you here decided to freak out for no reason.`` She explained.
``Because it's stupid you would say.`` I guessed.
``Yeah. There's no reason to freak out every moment you try to take your medicine.`` She said. ``You're like a child.``
``Says the one who's one.`` I grunted. The table went silent, surprised and shocked expressions were on everyone's face. Although my sister's face was mixing with hurt and anger. I stared down at the table, wanting to escape this madness. Maybe I can get up and walk over to the lunch line for a bit without getting disturb every single second. Walking around should calm me down. ``How dare you.`` I heard my sister say. ``You know what, that's what a kid would say.`` My whole body was shaking now, wanting to lash out at my sister and at the same time, run away. But my anger was building up and soon I was at the end of my calm behavior. I breathed in and out, trying to calm myself down. ``Just drop it.`` I said. ``I don't want to say something that would harm you, Mabel.``
``It would be wise to drop it...`` I heard Cole say. At least the traitor agrees.
``I am not going to drop it! I don't want to and I will not. You don't know how you affected me.`` Mabel said, getting upset now. Are we trying to flip the blame on me?
``How did he affect you?`` Alex asked. Oh gosh... why is it working?
``Faking these freak outs every day of my life... it was straining all of my positive, not being who I was.`` She sobbed. Mabel... you're going to be the death of me.
``Faking?`` I heard Percy say. ``Do you?``
``I don't fake my panic attacks.`` I said, slowly growing angry with each second. ``I don't at all.``
`` Panic attacks? Is that what you call them?`` I heard Mabel said.
``You know what. Can you shut up for one second?`` I snapped. ``And stop saying sh-t that you don't know at all. If you haven't guessed, yes, I do get them every once a while but they became frequent because of this mess. If you keep saying I'm faking them, I swear...`` I trailed off, not hearing the world around me anymore. Although I did, but I didn't know what I was saying anymore. I think I trailed off.
``Swear what?`` I heard my sister say.
``None of your damn f-cking business.`` I cursed, turning away from her. I stared down at the binder, feeling every limb shake within me, my heart raced as my breathing became faster. Am I going to pass out? I don't feel doom but... I feel like escaping this madness. I felt a familiar aura right beside me.
``Thank GOD. Help us, I don't know how to stop two siblings from fighting and Mason over here looks like he's about to lose it.`` Percy said, talking to someone.
``He's not losing it, he's faking it.`` I heard my sister say, which I snapped my head to her.
``Don't say anything, Dipper. Take a step out of the room if you need to.`` I heard Kahlil's voice. I want to so badly that... brat. I slowly turned towards my friend, noticing his anger on his face too.
``Yes, I think separating you two is a good idea.`` Alex said.
``Separating? Why is that?`` Mabel grunted.
``CAUSE YOU WON'T DROP IT.`` Percy shouted. I turned to him surprised and confused. Is he defending me? ``We're trying to have a calm chat well... no offensive Dipper, you guys wouldn't drop it and it was just causing so many problems.`` I understand, I could have walked off and ignored her altogether. I just wasn't thinking properly since I wanted to run away.
``Yeah, I agree with Percy. As much as I want to help you guys, you need to calm down.`` Alex said.
``I can't believe this.`` Mabel said.
``Just walk and calm your b-tchy ass self down.`` I heard Kahlil say. I turned to him in shock. I think everyone at the table was shocked at what he said. I turned to my sister as she did what she was told. She walked off and over to the lunch line. I stared at the three 9th graders with shock as they looked terrified. At least that helped... and now I can calm down. Even though, I was already calming down with his presence here.
``I like you now, Kahlil.`` Percy said.
``... Just because of the statement I said?`` Kahlil said, with annoyance in his tone.
``Why would you like somebody-``
``AS A FRIEND.`` Percy interrupted Alex. ``As a friend, I do. I don't know If I can bring myself to like a guy.``
``I was not going to say that...`` Alex said, staring at her friend.
``... Oh.`` He said, looking embarrassed.
``But yeah, I do thank you for that, Kahlil. Finally, they are silent.`` Alex said. I looked down at my binder, seeing that it was big enough to crush somebody's head. Probably not, but I'd like to think that way.
Everyone got their lunches now since that 10-minute run was awful. I don't even want to eat because of that, but I do force myself to eat anyway. I don't want to starve later on. ``So, anyone going to the Halloween Festival?`` Alex asked, interrupting the awkward silence. By the way, Mabel is here, but she is... calm? I don't know, I refuse to look at her at the moment.
``Ah! I wish!`` Percy said.
``I was thinking about going there, to dress up and have fun!`` Cole smiled. ``In fact, I'm excited to go!`` I don't know if I want to call him a traitor now, he might have been bribed into bullying me...
``Why you can't go, Percy?`` Alex asked.
``... Have you heard? Everyone talking about asking people out to go with them on Halloween. I don't know how Halloween became a romantic holiday. I don't see that one being romantic at all!`` Percy answered.
``Oh, I heard! I'm going there with my boyfriend.`` Mabel said, smiling.
``Like that, only- wait what? When did you get a boyfriend?!`` Percy snapped into realizing.
``When you were gone. So yeah, you missed a lot.`` She chirped.
``I guess I did.`` Percy said, nodding. ``But yeah, like that. Why is it so special about going there with a date? I'm asking because I do too want to go there with a date.``
``Who would want to date you?`` I asked.
``... Uhhh... pretty girls?`` Percy said, shrugging.
``Definitely not me.`` Alex said.
``Well, you're not a girl.`` Mabel said.
``But I am.`` Alex said, which confused the hell out of me. I thought Alex was a boy this entire time. I looked over to Mabel who was also confused. I then heard Alex let out a laugh as I grew embarrassed. ``You didn't know, Mason?!``
``Call me Dipper.`` I said. ``And... yeah... I didn't know.``
``I guess this costume I can put on really disguises me as a boy and can fool people apparently.`` Alex said.
``Not me though.`` Kahlil said.
``Oh, why is that?`` Alex asked.
``If you were a boy, I probably would have shown interest in you. But the way you were talking and such, wasn't how a boy acted.`` Kahlil answered.
`` What do you mean "shown interested in you"?`` Percy asked.
``WAIT. KAHLIL.`` I heard Mabel shouted which made us all jumped.
``Do not ask right now, Mabel!`` I heard my friend hiss. What the hell did I miss?
``But... I need to.`` I turned to see my sister whimper.
``No you don't.`` Kahlil grunted.
``What did I miss?`` I asked.
``Yeah, fill me in too and the question I asked, Kahlil.`` Percy said.
``I don't want to.`` My friend said.
``You might as well since he's not going to stop asking.`` I said. ``Same with Mabel.
``YEAH.`` I heard my sister said as I let out a chuckle. I guess we're on good terms for now.
``But I don't wanna.`` Kahlil whined.
``If they judge, I'll kick their ass, alright?`` I said, turning to him. He stared at me with a surprised look.
``Didn't realize you're the violent type~`` He smiled before turning to the 9th graders.
``Did he just-`` Percy paused himself before turning to his friends for help. They were also confused as ever too. I turned away, regretting what I said. I am never saying that ever again.
``Okay... uh, yes. I said "shown interested"... um... I don't normally tell people this because of what people believe or their beliefs, but... er... I like boys.`` Kahlil said. ``Actually like, like boys.``
``That's nice.`` Cole said, not even taking a breather for that. ``I like to see more people come out, it's like a process from how they begin finding themselves to where they are now.`` I widened my eyes, looking impressive. Well, I guess I can see that.
``I would agree with Cole. And this, like whoever you want, don't think we'll judge you.`` Alex said, smiling. We all turned to stare at Percy, who had the look of asking how did he become this way.
``Uh... yeah, I guess... I'm not used to it like you guys are but... yeah. You do you.`` Percy nervously said. I ease my stare and turned to Mabel, who was the last one. She stared back at me with a blank expression. I looked a bit nervous. Is she going to hurt me? She soon smirked as she had this smug look that could best the other smug expressions she has done in the past. ``What is going on?`` Percy asked.
``So... as I assume in the past. I thought your crush was a girl...`` She said. I looked extremely confused. It was...
``We talked about this, Mabel. Don't bring it up.`` I heard Kahlil say. Oh, she's talking to him. Whoops.
``So, Who is he?`` She asked. Silence begins as my friend was having none of it. I looked over to him as he was looking at the wall of the lunchroom.
``If we're discussing crushes, I have seen these really cute girls that you might be interested in, Dipper.`` Percy said.
``What? Why me?`` I said.
``Well, I already told Percy and Cole that I was going out with the love of my dreams, so why not take a date on?`` Alex said, smiling.
``Who is this cute girl?`` Mabel asked. ``I must know if she's perfect.``
``Since when are you in charge of my love life?`` I snapped at her.
``Since you failed last time.`` Mabel said.
``Wendy was in a 2 years relationship, he couldn't do anything about it.`` Kahlil said.
``Well, that is true... and now she's not. So, it's kind of your chance to ask her out.`` Mabel said.
``But I don't have feelings for her anymore.`` I said.
``You don't? I thought you did.`` She said.
``You must have feelings for another girl.`` Percy said, which kind of triggered me. Why does it have to be a girl? Why does gender matter?
``Yeah. If you don't, well I'll help you get interested in one.`` Mabel said.
``But I don't want to.`` I said. I already have feelings for someone else, and I don't know if I should accept it or not. I should anyway because running away from my problems won't solve it.
``So you want to be alone forever?`` Mabel asked.
``I don't, it's just my young adult days, It'll change in the future.`` I said.
``I think that future is running out now, I waited long enough for this, Dipper. It's time.`` She chirped. I glared at her before turning away.
``So, what type of girls you like?`` Percy asked.
``I don't want to ask, but... why does the gender matter?`` I asked. ``I might ask an odd question, a very strange one because of your facial expression, but why? Can we at least appreciate the person before going after for how they're gendered? ``
``... I mean that's how it's been.`` Percy said. ``You either like a girl or a boy.``
``Or both.`` Alex said.
``Or both.`` Percy nodded.
``Don't be panphobic please.`` Kahlil said.
``Panphobic? The fear of pans?`` Percy chuckled.
``Seriously.`` My friend snapped.
``Okay, okay. I didn't realize I was touching on another topic, I was just explaining to Dipper that... gender matters.`` Percy said.
``As told before, my brother likes people for who they are, not what gender they are.`` Mabel said. You remember that? Jeez, I don't remember saying it myself. That was such a long time ago.
``Then there's something wrong with you, Dipper.`` Percy said.
``What's wrong liking somebody regardless of their gender?`` Mabel asked. I didn't want to... defend myself. I just realize I'm touching on another problem within me. I didn't realize liking someone for who they are and not what gender they are was a problem. I thought it was normal too, should I not go for it? But... that's how I feel about my crush. What do I do?
``It's weird!`` Percy said.
``What the f-ck do you mean it's weird?`` Kahlil said, getting defensive.
``I don't like it how you curse at me... but it's strange. I don't know why you wouldn't go after someone because of their gender. That's like the main goal of how we worked on.`` Percy said. I slowly grabbed my binder and held it in my arms.
``If being what I am is affecting you, then can I just walk away?`` I asked.
``No, that won't solve it.`` Percy said.
``Also what's Panphobic?`` Alex asked.
``It's the-``
``It's someone that fears, dislikes, or hate pansexuals. For example, your friend.`` Kahlil interrupted and glared at Percy.
``I'm going to leave.`` I said before getting up and walking away. I got uncomfortable, I couldn't handle it anymore. I didn't realize it was a bad thing, I didn't know that at all. I walked out of the lunchroom, over to the wall, and leaned on it. I put my fist to my chest, shutting my eyes close. I don't know what to do... What he stated... what do I do? I opened my eyes and looked over to my sister poking her head out and gazing over at me. She walked over to me. ``Are you okay?``
``I don't want to be here.`` I muttered. ``I don't want to be on this planet anymore.``
``It's alright, Percy's being Percy, don't listen to him.`` She said, placing a hand on my shoulder.
``... Okay.`` I mumbled. I don't feel like going to get my medication changed now. I just want to go home and rot there. We heard the bell ring as it was time to go. Can I not go? I mean, I need to because of how it affects my daily life so much, but... this mood is rotting me to the core, to the point I don't want to do it anymore. I guess I can't talk this one out myself. I'll just let it go the way it is.
Kahlil did come to see how I was doing, he was taking care of business. I didn't care at all, why go after them if they are just going to shove you down further even more? That won't work, I know it won't. They'll just continue to do it over and over until you break and lose it. They'll get what they want and you'll just be left broken inside. Why go through it just to defend me? I don't deserve it. ``Dipper!`` I jerked over to Mabel who was worried about me. ``You almost ran into the car.`` She said.
``See you guys later, I do hope... Dipper will be okay.`` I heard Kahlil said.
``He will be!`` Mabel said before opening the car's door. I got in before looking over to Uncle Ford, who had a worried expression on his face. ``Are you okay, kiddo?``
``I am... as soon as this is over, I can rest.`` I muttered. I heard the door shut as I waited until my sister got into the car. The car moved and drove off to the doctor's office. I hugged my binder tightly, feeling sick to my stomach. I don't want this anymore. We arrived as I left my binder in the car. I walked with Uncle Ford this time as Uncle Stan stayed in. ``Just so you know, Dipper... I know we forgot to mention this to you, we're your great-uncles.`` He said. I halted and stared at him. He stopped at the door and open it before turning to see me in my embarrassment. ``I am so sorry. I didn't know.`` I said, walking over.
``It's alright! Mistakes are mistakes, we'll learn from it.`` He said. I entered first before he followed me.
``Then... what do I call you now?`` I asked.
``Mabel calls us Grunkles... which refers to great-uncle combine, but... the actual word for it is Gruncle. Grunkles do have a nice tone to it. So, go with what she says. Now, you go sit while I check to see if he's available.`` U- Grunkle Ford said. I almost said "uncle." Jeez, I feel embarrassed now. I nodded and walked over to a seat. He went to check and lucky he was. We were called up immediately as we went over to... Dr. Wright? I think that's his name. Also, I did see Grunkle Ford bring in my medication with him. That was close. We went over the basic info before getting yelled at for not taking the meds this morning. Then Dr. Wright took a look at the bottle and realized he gave us the wrong one. Makes sense why I kept feeling so darn gosh empty during those times.
``I gave you the right prescription but not the right antidepressant. Why did you guys not come back the day after?`` Dr. Wright asked, digging through his clipboard.
``I guess we spotted it too late, my apologies, Dr. Wright.`` Grunkle Ford said.
``I should have rechecked and called you guys back. But since I don't get many patients for these types or work hard enough, I didn't bother to check. This is why I need assistants.`` He grumbled to himself. I sat in silence in the chair, waiting for the time to pass. He talked with us for a bit before sending us off with the right one. Fluoxetine... I think that was the one. I was supposed to take that not Becoxetine*, which is a new drug to help people who have what I have. Although it is not recommended because of those very common side effects that I have experienced. Or... just not meant for me after all. I don't know what they'll do with that antidepressant drug.
It was Saturday, two days after talking with the doctor. I feel so much better already. I feel high though. I don't know if that's a good thing or not. I took the medication this morning and I'm rocking it. That's weird, don't say that. I shook my head before looking over at my sister who was glaring at me. ``Be nice!``
``I am!`` I grunted.
``He is sure a handful.`` I turned over to the black-haired girl.
``He is and I hate it.`` Mabel said.
``Maybe soon enough you can stop dragging me out here.`` I said.
``No, I need to see if it works.`` She said, glaring at me.
``It works okay? I feel much better than I was before.`` I said.
``Alrighty then..`` Mabel said, turning back to the girl in front of us. We were in a small seating area in the mall, where I didn't want to go. I don't even know why I'm here. ``Anyway, why don't you guys get to know each other?`` My sister asked. I glared at her before turning to her friend.
``Oh right! I am Candy Chiu, nice to meet you...``
``Mason Pines.`` I muttered. Candy nodded as she smiled at me. I didn't bat an eye and turned over to my sister. She made a motion of "start a conversation with her" thing and I happen to not start one since she was the one who started it. I guess I decided to talk for once. It ended up becoming topics that we were both interested in. I guess it's nice... But I didn't like it how Mabel made us exchange numbers with one another.
I turned to glare at her as she shows me her smug expression.
I swear, Mabel what will I do with you?
End of Chapter 33
Becoxetine- It's a made up drug that I created.
We're getting close. ^^
I do hope you're enjoying this story so far. If not, then I tried my best at making it interesting for you.
Have a good day and see you in the next chapter !