C.J. was standing by Teresa Novelli's car slowly adjusting the dozing Jeddy in the sling. It was mid-morning the day of Kai's funeral and she was trying to calm the butterflies in her stomach and keep it together. She knew it was silly and that nobody but nobody would bat an eye if she broke down crying at any point in the day, but she really did want to celebrate Kai's life and that's what today was supposed to be; a celebration.
Since his father had passed away a few years ago, Kai had always said he wanted a beach funeral, with swimming, surfing, music, dancing, along with eating and drinking. And that's what his family and friends were going to do to honor his wishes. The men and boys were wearing board shorts, some donned t-shirts while others went bare-chested. The women were wearing sundresses, or bikinis with a wraparound skirt. C.J. wore the latter, knowing it would put a smile on Kai's face to see her dressed that way, funeral or no. He loved her electric blue bikini, so that was the one she wore. Once she got Jeddy set in the sling, she decided she needed to readjust her skirt, and then sandals didn't seem quite right. She looked at her reflection in the car window and was glad she hadn't bothered with eyeliner and only went with waterproof mascara. She took a few deep breaths and tried to get her feet to start moving, but she was glued to the spot.
After ten minutes or so, Mama walked back to the car, saying only, "Cara mia, it's time to say good-bye." Then she put a gentle arm around C.J.'s waist and guided her to the footpath that led to the beach. They crossed the parking lot, and then onto the sandy trail. On the beach there were beach blankets and folding chairs placed on the sand facing the ocean and the outrigger canoes that would carry Kai to his final resting place. As she and Mama reached the beach, each step closer to the folding chairs was more and more unbearable and she began to shake. She kept her hands on Jeddy to try and steady herself, but she couldn't catch her breath. Kai's older brother, Taavi, stepped up and enveloped C.J. in his arms and she broke down sobbing, which triggered many of the other people in attendance to start crying as well. Taavi was just as tall as Kai, but without the beard and long hair, and he was heavier set. When she had regained her composure, they placed a lei around her neck, and he kept an arm around her as he guided her to a seat in the front with the rest of the family.
The priest kept his message short, and then asked if anyone would like to share a memory about Kai. There was an uncomfortable silence for a minute or two, when Murray Chase made his way to the small, collapsible, metal lectern. C.J. smiled when she saw him. Murray told the crowd about the day at the ranch and the football game. It made everyone laugh. He finished by saying, "He made me, well, everyone he met, feel like they could take on the world, even if it was just a small part of it." Then he looked to Kai's mom, "You raised a wonderful man, I know that I will always be grateful that I had a chance to get to know him. In the words of my people 'Ha'makom yenahem etkhem betokh she'ar avelei'. Which means, 'May God console you among the other mourners'." Then he looked at the urn, which had been placed on a tablecloth covered folding table with flowers and pictures of Kai, and said, "Rest in peace, Kai."
After Murray returned to his seat next to Houston, many others took their turn sharing funny stories about Kai and how much he meant to them. The Novelli boys went up as a group and Anthony spoke for the family. He talked about how generous and helpful Kai was at the restaurant, and how he showed all of the boys how to work with tools to fix things, and how to surf.
When it was her turn, even with Kai's sister, Konane, standing with an arm around C.J. to support her, C.J. tried her best to speak, but she couldn't calm herself enough to get more than, "I will tell Pika of you every day" and "Thank you for everything" out before she was racked with sobs once again. Houston's heart was breaking for her, and he wanted nothing more than to be the one to hold her while she cried for Kai, but he knew that today probably wasn't going to be that day. Today, she and Jeddy belonged to the Kekoa family. After Kai's mother said a few tearful words, and the priest said the last blessing, the male family members took the urn, and the wooden box that contained Kai's bones, and boarded the outrigger canoes. Then, as the boats left the shore, many of those in attendance, raced into the surf and swam after the canoes, or splashed the water, while those on the beach whooped and cheered. Once the canoes were out of sight around the curve of the beach, everyone got ready for the celebration. The pigs, which had been roasting in the imus since late the night before, were almost done, so the women were getting the side dishes set up so that everyone could partake in the buffet.
C.J., who had finally collected herself, made her way over to where Houston and Murray were chatting with Vince. Murray gave her a hug, looked at Jeddy, then said, "My, C.J., you've been busy since you left LA. The Big Guy was telling me about the Little Guy."
C.J. glossed over the last sentence, and said, "Thank you for coming, Murray. I know it meant a lot to Kai's family and to me."
"Well, when Houston called with the news, I knew I had to come to pay my respects." He looked at the sleeping Jeddy, "So, what's his name again? Houston said it was Jeddy, but you called him something else."
She gave Jeddy a quick kiss, then explained, "Kai and I named him Jedrick Pika Parsons-Kekoa. So, you heard me refer to him by his middle name. His Hawaiian name."
Murray gave a little laugh, "I don't envy him learning how to spell that in first grade." As he reached over to rub Jeddy's back, Houston noticed that C.J. inhaled sharply and froze, then smiled a little and gave Houston a quick glance. Murray didn't notice as his focus was on Jeddy, "He's beautiful C.J. And so much hair!"
C.J. grinned, "Thank you. Yeah, everyone was saying he would lose a lot of it, but it's been a month and it's just a thick as it was when he was born." Then she touched Murray's arm, "How have you been?"
He smiled, "Couldn't be better. I don't know if the rumor mill reached you out here, but remember Bridget, from the football game at the ranch?" C.J. nodded, and he continued, "Well, shortly after that she got a job in another company, and we started dating, and…"
C.J. was all ears, "Aaannnd?" She knew that it would be good news and she needed some good news today.
"We're getting married next June!" Murray was beaming with pride.
Vince and Houston slapped him on the back and said together, "Congratulations, Murray!"
C.J. beamed, "Oh, that's wonderful, Murray! I'm so happy for you!" She reached over and gave him a little hug.
He hugged her back and excitedly added, "And you're all invited, so I expect to see you there."
C.J. nodded, "Wouldn't miss it." It was nice to have something to look forward to.
He then hesitated for a moment before stating, "Now, I know this isn't the right venue, but before I leave, we really need to talk about what to do with all those shell companies we set up." C.J. looked down at Jeddy, then away to the water. Murray gave Houston a chagrined look.
Houston shook his head, "Let's talk about that tomorrow, Murray." C.J. still hadn't looked back. He hated that he didn't know exactly how to behave with her. Eleven months ago, they would have been side by side, he'd have placed a comforting arm around her and she would have let him. But now, he could feel her tense reaction to him from across a room. And after yesterday morning's faux pas with the baby, he knew he was on thin ice.
Murray stammered, "Of course, of course. I have all of the paperwork with me, so it won't take much time to go over it. Let's say, tomorrow morning?"
Houston thought a moment, then agreed, "Yeah, Murray, the Novelli's will be out of the house to go to the restaurant around seven, so why don't we say nine. That way we can do it privately." He knew that Murray's "won't take much time" probably meant at least eight hours.
"Well, we'll need a notary, so I was thinking of the Podmore building," Murray equivocated. He could see that C.J. was no longer listening, but he continued, "We've done business with a company that rents office space there. I'm sure we can use their conference room."
Houston nodded, "Why don't you set that up for tomorrow afternoon then, or the day after if it's too short notice." Houston lightly touched C.J.'s arm, "Will that be okay with you."
She moved her arm slowly away, took a deep breath, then looked at Murray, "Sure, that'll be fine." Then she gave him a smile and said, "If you'll excuse me," before walking over to where everyone was setting aside portions of everything for the men who were seeing to Kai's burial. They knew that they'd be hungry from all of the rowing when they rejoined the family at the beach. Everyone celebrated Kai's life well into the night.
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That evening, Houston and the Novellis returned to the house without C.J. She was going to get a ride from Kai's sister after they had cleaned up. Houston used this opportunity to call Uncle Roy to get some advice about C.J. Houston sighed, "She won't talk to me, Uncle Roy. Not really. I don't know how to help her if she won't talk to me. She's being polite for Jeddy's sake and in front of the Novellis, but I can tell she would really rather I not be around. She only reluctantly lets me hold him or do anything for him, and after yesterday Mama had to convince her to even let me change him."
"What happened yesterday?" Roy wanted to know.
Houston sighed as he thought about what he had done. He explained, "C.J. was taking a shower and she had Jeddy in the center of the bed, surrounded by pillows. I went to check on him and he was awake, so I took him out to the patio and was holdin' him and shootin' the breeze with Vince and the boys. Well, she about went crazy when she saw he wasn't on the bed, and when she found us, she practically snatched him out of my arms." Her yells for Jeddy were still ringing in his head. "I told her I would never take him from her, but she…" He could still see the hurt, terrified and unconvinced look in her eyes before she took Jeddy back to the bedroom, "I don't think she believed me, and that breaks my heart."
Uncle Roy's communication device took a minute to reply, "Son, she thought Jeddy died. Her mama bear instincts are in overdrive. And keep in mind she's probably going through the baby blue's while she's mourning Kai, too. Either one of those things will weigh on a woman, but together they are going to feel insurmountable."
Houston paused for a moment before he said, "Yeah, I know, Uncle Roy. I just want us to get past this so we can raise our son together as husband and wife." He knew they had a future together and he wanted to get back on track as soon as possible.
Even though it was in monotone, in his head Houston could hear Roy's voice saying, "You listen to me, Matlock, if you want to have a prayer that this will work out, you will be patient. You're going to have to rebuild her trust in you and your friendship first. And it may take months and I don't mean one or two, but six or seven or even a year before she's ready to start any kind of romantic relationship with you again. Do you understand me?"
Houston hated the idea it might take that long, so he sighed, "Yeah. But…" His words trailed off as he thought about having to rebuild their friendship first. He didn't realize how much, in the past, he had taken for granted that she would always be his friend, even if she was mad at him.
"You're a lucky man that you don't have a job you have to get back to, so you can take all the time that is needed." There was a pause, then, "Here's what you do, don't presume that you get to stay in her guestroom. Get a hotel room and ask permission to visit. Be there for her, but don't hover. Give her her space if you start to sense she needs it. She hasn't been around you for a long time, so let her get used to you again. Don't make any demands or question her parenting. You know what topics to avoid, so avoid them. Be patient. Be patient."
Houston thought about the strategy, and agreed, "You're right. I know you're right. Listen, she said she was gonna call you, so maybe you could put a word in her ear. She always listens to you."
"I will do my best, but don't expect miracles." He wasn't sure that C.J. was up to taking advice from anyone at the moment.
His next concern was about his cousin, "How is Will taking all of this?"
Roy responded, "He was a little hurt at first, but now he says he understands why we didn't include him. He wants to be included in the next operation though."
That made Houston grin, "We can do that. I'm not sure when that will be, but we can do that. Now listen, Uncle Roy, why don't you two stay put in Tucson for a while, huh? There's no ranch to go back to right now and I don't know when I'll be able to have it rebuilt."
Roy was actually enjoying living in Tucson again now that he had Will back. "That's fine with me," was his response. After his wife had passed away, he had never planned on returning there, but with his son, it was a different matter.
He looked at his watch and realized how long they had been on the phone. "Alright, I don't want to raise their phone bill any higher, so you take care now, ya' hear?" Houston lovingly directed.
"You, too. And remember, patience," Roy reminded him.
Houston chuckled, "I will. I love you and give my love to Will."
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Four days after the funeral, Houston flew C.J. and Jeddy back to Kauai. They had to wait a day before a conference room was open, but in the end all of the paperwork was signed and Houston had his money back. He directed Murray to set up a sizable trust fund for Jeddy that he would be able to have a monthly stipend from when he turned thirty. He made sure to ask C.J. if it was okay with her. She agreed if he put in a caveat that Jeddy would need to have completed either college with a bachelor's degree or a trade school. She stated firmly, "I don't care if he wants to be a doctor or a professor or dig ditches or repair air conditioning, but my baby will not be one of those lay-about trust fund kids." Houston agreed wholeheartedly.
When he dropped them off at her house, before he left, he asked, "Can I come and see him tomorrow?"
She paused, then nodded. Then she asked bluntly, "When are you heading back to LA? I'm sure that you're missing your ranch."
He looked down at his shoes, "No point in going back, she had the house, all the out buildings, including the barn, burnt to the ground."
This brought C.J. out of herself for a few moments, "Calamity?" She didn't have to ask who the "she" was.
He reassured her, "She's fine. I had Bo and Lamar get the horses out of there in the middle of the night. They're all safely back in Texas." He shrugged, "So I have no reason to rush back there and two very good reasons for stayin' here." She looked away, and he was having a hard time reading her.
She wanted to tell him to just go back to Texas and forget about them; to consider them lost to the Duvals. But she knew that he would never agree to that. "Oh, okay. Well, I have to get ready for tomorrow, so…" Even though it would be Friday, she had unfinished paperwork she needed to catch up on after a week of being away. He tried not to be hurt by her words, and nodded. He leaned down to kiss Jeddy on the head before turning and leaving.
He took Roy's advice and stayed in a hotel as close to the house as possible. It was at a golf club resort, but Houston wasn't there to play golf. He would get up very early for a run and a swim, then head over to her house. After about a week, and a conversation with Uncle Roy, she allowed him to watch Jeddy while she went for a run before going to work. When she was ready to leave for the office, he would help put all of the essentials in the car for her, then would follow them to the office. She had never hired a secretary because Kai was a fast study and was able to do much of the work that C.J. needed done. Her practice was transactional law; mostly wills, LLC's, and the like, so she hadn't needed to be in a courtroom. This allowed her to keep Jeddy at her office so she could continue to nurse him and not need to bottle feed.
It took about two weeks of only letting him hold Jeddy for a few minutes before and after a diaper change, that she was finally comfortable enough to let Houston spend an hour or so playing with Jeddy while she worked in her office. Never one to sit still for long, Houston would help by running documents down to the courthouse for her and get them lunch, whatever she desired. When the work day was done, he would help with making dinner, give Jeddy his bath, then left after his ten o'clock feeding.
But after a month he felt like he needed to start making more inroads, so, on the day Jeddy turned two-months-old, as he helped clean up after dinner Houston ventured, "C.J., would you do something for me?"
She held her breath for a moment, he hadn't asked anything of her for the past month, so she wasn't sure what he might want. She had spent that time battling against going to a very dark place. A place she hadn't been to since her mother died and her life was upended for a second time. She had met Houston shortly after, and her world brightened. But now, her nightmares were starting again, though none of them had her out of her bed. She looked down at Jeddy, while she replied, "I'll try."
His voice was sincere, "Would you show me where Jeddy was born?"
"Oh, huh…" The question had caught her off guard. It had never occurred to her that he would ever want to see it. And at the moment it was a place she shared with Kai, and now that he was gone it meant more to her than ever.
He quickly added, "I just thought since he's two months old, it'd be nice to see where he made his early entrance. But if you don't want to…" He was suddenly worried that one request had ruined the tiny amount of progress he had made.
He had been great the past month, so there was a part of her that didn't want to deny him this. She half shrugged, "No, it's fine. Can we do it on Saturday?" She had documents that had to be into the courthouse by Friday and she didn't want to miss a deadline.
He nodded, "Sure, maybe we could bring a picnic lunch?"
She half shrugged, "Yeah, that'd be nice." Then added, "There's really no place to picnic, but we could go to the beach afterwards."
He couldn't help but smile, "Don't you worry about a thing. I'll pack us a Texas sized lunch." She only nodded, then went back to loading the dishwasher.
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Houston was following C.J. up the path, and she was keeping a quick, steady pace. She was trying to keep her emotions in check, she didn't want to breakdown crying again today. When they arrived at the rock, she gestured towards it and announced, "There it is."
Houston stopped and nodded. He looked around, but couldn't quite picture her giving birth leaning up against that rock. Hoping she would open up to him, he asked, "Would you tell me the whole story?"
She paused, then turned to look at him. In her mind she yelled, "I can't! Don't you know I can't?!" But she rasped, "Oh, sure." Then she continued on up the path to the falls. She hadn't been there since Jeddy's birth, and almost forgotten how beautiful they were. She made her way to the water and told him, "We had gone for a run that morning, and drove over here to cool off. Then as we were leaving, I had Jeddy."
He smiled and tilted his head a bit, "I don't have anywhere to go, so you don't have to give me the Readers Digest version." She looked puzzled, so he requested, "Can you give me some more details?"
"Oh" was her reply. There was a long pause, then she steeled herself to tell him the details, "Well, I had been feeling fine when we first started swimming. But then I started to not feel quite right. I was having contractions, but I thought they had to be the Braxton-Hicks kind. Kai…" She took a calming breath, "Kai, suggested we go. Once I was out of the water, I knew that what I was having were not practice contractions. It was hard for me to walk and we had only made it to the rock when I needed to stop. That's when Kai figured out that Jeddy's head was crowning."
"How did he figure that out?" Houston wondered aloud.
She gave him a quizzical look, then stated plainly, "He had me lean against the rock, stand with my legs apart, then he moved my bathing suit aside and he looked."
Now it was Houston's turn to be uncomfortable. Intellectually, he knew that C.J. and Kai probably went back to being lovers at some point after she had found out he slept with Elizabeth, but the beast within had been in denial. The fact was, if she was comfortable enough with Kai to let him look at her area, then it wasn't the first time since they had dated when he was in LA. He stammered, "Ah, uh, guh, yeah. Of course."
She rolled her eyes a bit, then continued, "That's when the other couple came along and went for help." She smiled at the memory, "I was trying to convince him we had time to get to the hospital. Most of my life I've relied on what I read in books, but…" She let out a little laugh, "The books betrayed me. He kept telling me to push, and I kept telling him I could hold the baby in, but then another contraction would hit and no matter how hard I fought not to…" She let out a slow breath at the memory of it. She shook her head, "Anyway, once Jeddy's head was out, I finally pushed with the contractions. Oh, and those shoulders… Everyone talks about the head, but the shoulders really hurt. But as soon as they passed, the rest of him came out in a whoosh." She looked down at Jeddy, then kissed his little head.
Houston grinned, "Soooo, until his head was out, you thought you could hold him in?"
She tilted her head to the side and back quickly, she confessed, "Really, even for a few moments after that." She rolled her eyes at herself for being so stubborn. "Anyway, it took about twenty minutes for the ambulance to get here," she added with a hint of sarcasm, "And about five for Mama to arrive at the hospital." She and Houston both laughed. But then a moment later there were tears in her eyes and she walked away and back down the path.
He stood there for a minute and watched her go. He thought about their mutual laugh and how, for a moment, they were back to the friendship they had had for two decades. And in that moment, Houston knew that Uncle Roy was right. With a lot of time and even more patience, they might just get back to where they had been a year ago.