Tw: Hints of depression. Also contains issues which some readers might find upsetting. Support information at the end of the chapter.
"Morning, sleepy head." Carla smiled down fondly at Michelle, who had just stirred and opened her eyes. She blinked a couple of times to get used to the light in the room and let out a tired little groan.
"What time is it?" She asked.
Carla glanced down at the iPad in her lap; she'd been sucked down a rabbit hole as she'd scrolled through her FriendConnect timeline and had started to watch video compilations of cats misbehaving.
"It's nearly quarter past nine."
Michelle's eyes widened, she sat straight up in bed.
"Why didn't you wake me up?"
"Because it's your day off." Carla reminded her, and the younger woman flopped back down against her pillow, letting out a relieved little sigh. "And you're absolutely exhausted."
"I'm fine." Michelle shrugged, though as she spoke, she was overcome by a huge yawn. She could have easily slept for another hour.
"You're not fine. You're overworked and stressed out. Don't think I don't know how all of this affected you, too." She said sternly, as though she was challenging Michelle to argue with her. "Do you not remember last night?"
Michelle frowned, trying to work out what she'd meant. She'd come home at half eleven and Carla had already been asleep. Michelle had just about managed to wash off her make-up and she'd practically fallen into bed beside her and slept straight away. She shot Carla a confused look.
"You had a nightmare, it was about three in the morning." Carla told her. "I think it was about the fire escape. You were muttering in your sleep."
"I can't even remember dreaming anything." She said. It can't have been that bad of a nightmare if she couldn't remember it.
"Well, you did. You sounded really upset. I was going to wake you but I just… started talking to you and you settled down."
Michelle reached out for her hand and Carla took it, giving it a gentle squeeze.
"I'm honestly fine, Carla."
The older woman raised her brow.
"You're talking like I don't see straight through you."
"Well, you're just obsessed with me." Michelle teased.
Carla placed the iPad on the bedside table and turned onto her side. She shuffled closer to her and leant in, but stopped just before she reached her lips.
"I know how much the last few weeks have affected you, too." Carla reached out, tucked her hair behind her ear and allowed her thumb to continue to stroke over it. "Johnny told me you were sick in the hospital, and I nearly put you in there with me. So just… Slow down a bit, yeah? I don't want you getting ill, too."
Michelle nodded and Carla tilted her head, finally connecting their lips. She lingered for a moment and then pulled the younger woman against her, securing her arms around her waist.
"Have an extra half hour, if you need?"
"I'm awake now." She murmured, though it didn't stop her from cuddling into the other woman.
Carla pressed her lips against the top of her head.
"Fancy Roy's for breakfast? My treat." Carla offered. "I need to tell him about us before word gets around. You know what Jenny's like, she can't keep her trap shut."
Michelle chuckled against her and nodded again.
"Yeah, I'll get washed—" Michelle started to unwind herself from Carla's grip, but she pulled her back in again.
"Not just yet though." She murmured, kissing the younger woman's forehead when she looked up at her in confusion. "I've missed you."
|X|X|X|
Carla held the door open for Michelle as they left the Rovers, reaching out for her hand once they were out on the street. Michelle took it, though frowned slightly at her attire.
"It's a bit warm for a jacket?"
Carla shifted uncomfortably and muttered something about having no long-sleeved tops clean. Michelle's gaze softened and she gave her hand a gentle squeeze.
"Hey…No one's going to notice. And if they do, they won't say owt."
The door next to the Rovers opened and Tracy stepped out of it; she had Eccles on a lead and when she caught sight of them both hand-in-hand she grinned maliciously.
"Ah, you know, the one thing I love about you two is how you just really don't care, do you? You have absolutely no shame in flaunting your weird little set-up."
Michelle opened her mouth to say something, but Carla got in there first. She just glanced down at the dog and scrunched her nose affectionately.
"Aw, Eccles, are you taking Tracy for a walk?" She preened, clicking her tongue at the animal who wagged its tail in response. "Try not to lose her down the red rec, eh? She's not very well trained."
Michelle laughed loudly, giving her hand a gentle tug, leaving Tracy to throw a deadly glare in their direction. It was handy having a day off mid-week; Michelle's lie-in meant the morning rush had dissipated and the café was quiet. Though, there was a recognisable voice coming from the counter.
"Yeah, two coffee's please, Roy." Maria told him brightly. "And a couple of Belgian buns."
"Ooh, live dangerously." Carla commented, causing her to spin round and smile at them in greeting.
"Hello, lovebirds!" She grinned, though her face fell slightly when the other two women's eyes widened. "Oh god sorry…Am I not meant to-? I thought since—" She nodded to their hands and Carla threw an apologetic glance at Roy.
"No, no, it's fine we just haven't told… Roy, can I have a word?" Carla asked. She let go of Michelle's hand and instructed her to grab a table.
Roy placed Maria's order on the counter and she thanked him, handing over a ten pound note. Carla sidled around the counter while he sorted her change. She watched Maria nod at her and then stop at the table Michelle was at to engage in conversation with her.
"Are you working on your own?" She asked; she'd been hoping they'd nip up to the flat.
"Shona will be here at twelve." He informed her. Carla glanced at the clock. It was quarter past eleven and she wasn't prepared to wait another forty-five minutes.
"Right, uh… Well I don't know if you've heard about… Anything." She started. He looked impassive.
"One hears many things when working in such an establishment…" He stated, simply, still offering her no opportunity to gather from him what he already knew.
"Well, have you heard anything about me in particular? Or Michelle? Or Peter?"
"There have been certain rumours being passed on, but I'm not one to indulge in idle gossip." There were no more customers waiting to be served, so he picked up a knife and went back to buttering bread cakes to top up the selection of lunchtime sandwiches on display.
"Right, well what did you hear?" She pushed.
"As I just established, I don't really partake in—"
"I'm not asking if you took part in it, I just want to know what you've heard…" Carla pestered, ignoring Roy's chastising look when she stole a cherry tomato from the stash he'd yet to sort into salad boxes.
"Well, admittedly I was unable to avoid a rumour that Peter may have become intoxicated and insinuated that… Yourself and Michelle are—" He broke off for a moment; Carla knew he was searching for better phrasing than what Peter had gone with. "Romantically involved."
Carla chewed thoughtfully for a moment and then swallowed.
"Well, I guess I'm here to set the record straight." She said, then laughed out loud at her own choice of phrasing. "Ironically." She looked across at Roy, who had paused his actions, a buttery knife suspended in the air. He waited for her to continue. She looked over at Michelle, who was still chatting to Maria; no doubt the hairdresser was trying to stretch out her morning break. She'd probably make-up an excuse about there being a queue, not that she'd been having good old chinwag.
"It's true." Carla blurted, as she turned back to Roy. "I, uh…we're together. Me and Michelle." She pointed unnecessarily in her direction.
Roy's eyes narrowed in thought, but Carla couldn't quite work what those thoughts were.
"I'm not having an episode, Roy." She added quickly. "I've felt like this since before all of that, since before the factory- that's when we—" She broke off, trying to find the right words herself. "That's when we realised that we had a connection…"
"I see." He nodded, and Carla held her breath. She hoped he was about to take it better than Johnny had. Roy seemed to realise his lack of response had caused her to prepare for the worst. "Forgive me, it's just rather unexpected." He explained. "I never realised you were—Not that it matters, it doesn't matter at all. I just thought perhaps you may have mentioned before—"
"Well, I'm not…I'm not gay, Roy." Carla affirmed, but Roy held up his hand.
"It wasn't my intention to insinuate you were." He assured her, looking apologetic. "I just meant, I hope you know that whom you enter into a relationship with is no concern of mine, as long as you are happy and well."
Carla smiled and reached out to hug him. He accepted on this occasion, albeit awkwardly; his arm that held the butter knife was still aloft.
"It is a shock though, isn't it?" Carla said, once she'd finally allowed him to resume assembling sandwiches.
"Admittedly, yes." He nodded. "Although I feel that's just ignorance on my part, for my assumption that you were involved with Peter Barlow."
"I very nearly was." Carla laughed. She could hardly blame Roy for his assuming, everyone else probably had too. "But I just didn't feel for him like that, anymore. Not the way I do about her…" She trailed off and turned her head. Michelle had finished talking to Maria and was absentmindedly scrolling through her phone, though she glanced up and spotted Carla looking over. She offered Michelle a reassuring smile and held up two fingers to signal she'd be over soon. "Never thought for one second she'd feel the same though. You know when it's all just completely unexpected but at the same the best thing that could have happened?"
"Yes, I quite understand." He said, his tone wistful. Carla offered him a softened smile and reached out for his hand. She held it for a moment, before speaking again.
"I better head over… Roy, thank you."
"I'm glad to see you so much happier… Will you be wanting anything?" He added, because Carla had already turned to walk away. She swivelled back around with a laugh.
"Yeah, sorry, what am I like?" She grinned. "We want two full English's and two coffees, please."
She joined Michelle at the table, taking the seat opposite with the smile still across her face.
"I'm guessing he took that well?" Michelle asked, reaching across the table. Carla met her hand with her own and laced their fingers together.
"A million times better than Johnny took it." She shrugged.
"He'll come around." Michelle assured her. He hadn't directly said anything against it, he'd assured them he just wanted them happy, but he certainly hadn't seemed comfortable. Displays of affection were kept to a minimum in the back room. "He's just worried about you. About both of us."
"But he's no need to be."
Michelle raised her brow.
"Carla, he's every need to be." She laughed. "As far as relationships go, we've not got the best track record, have we? He probably thinks we've put a time bomb over the family."
Carla tutted, giving the back of her hand a gentle tap. "Oi, you. It sounds like you've put a time bomb on us."
"Of course I haven't." Michelle assured her, weaving their fingers together once more. "I can just see how it looks from his point of view. But like I said, he'll come around. When he realises that we are going to make this work."
A slow smile spread across Carla's face. Hearing her speak that way after months of uncertainty filled her with so much warmth. She knew it was difficult, how confused they both still were but to hear her talking about their relationship so assuredly gave her all the confirmation she needed about whether they were on the same page. Michelle smiled straight back at her, her head tilted as she winked. Carla couldn't help herself. The café was practically empty anyway and Michelle was leaning in too. They met in the middle of the table, Carla's other hand moving to her cheek as she kissed her softly.
"You have got to be joking."
Neither had taken notice of the café door opening, but they both noticed the disgust in his voice and Michelle had sprung back so quickly she almost toppled back on her chair.
"We're actually dead serious." Carla spoke firmly. Robert was glaring at her with such hatred in his eyes that Michelle reached out and placed a protective hand on her arm.
"Ugh, I feel sick." He blanched, and Carla was about to open her mouth in retaliation when Roy's voice came from behind the counter.
"Robert, can I help you?" Clearly, he'd sensed the tension and wanted to intervene before anything could escalate.
Robert shook his head.
"They're the ones who need help." He spat. "I've suddenly lost my appetite." He didn't give either of the women chance to respond. He'd turned and stormed out of the café, the door slamming shut behind him.
Carla stared after him for a moment, her expression hard, before she turned back to Michelle.
"Well, if he can't stand the sight of us, he might shorten your work hours."
|X|X|X|
Carla had been wrong. The next day Michelle entered the Bistro just after ten in the morning. They already had a few tables taken with customers having late breakfasts or break-time coffees; over in one of the booths it looked as though a conference meeting was taking place. She assumed Robert was in the kitchen, and instead took the time to greet the other staff to delay going through to hang up her jacket and store her bag away. She slipped her phone into the back pocket of the black jeans she was wearing and prepared herself to walk through.
Robert had his back to her, though she suspected he knew she'd walked in because the steady rhythm of a knife against the chopping board suddenly became a lot more aggressive.
"Morning." She attempted.
"You're late." He finally turned to look at her and she felt her chest go cold. There was still the same disgust in his eyes as before. That meant she was in for another miserable shift, then.
"It's barely five past." She pointed out.
"Yeah and I pay you to be in at ten." He snapped, slamming the knife down with such force that chunks of carrot went flying.
"Robert, this needs to be sorted. We need to figure something out—" She began, only to have him cut across her.
"No, Michelle you need get back through there and start your shift. Now." He demanded.
Michelle couldn't help the flare of fury then.
"Speaking of, I can't do twelve hours today. I won't. I did nearly sixty last week and I'm—"
But he was shouting again.
"You'll do whatever hours I need you to!" He took a few angry steps towards her and she took a smaller one back. "So, you can either shut up and do your job or I'll fire you. How's that?"
"You can't fire me." She said, though she didn't sound as certain as she'd have liked.
"Oh, I can't I?" He asked, his voice calm and dangerous. "This is my business. I can sack you right now, and then what? Do you think you'll be getting a glowing reference?" He laughed harshly, taking delight in the apparent hold he had over her. "What will you do then? Your deranged girlfriend-slash-cousin or whatever the hell she is has managed to completely destroy her own fac—"
"Don't you speak about Carla like that!" Michelle shouted, suddenly finding her voice again.
"And she'll eventually destroy you too, and when that day comes, I will be laughing." He was almost doing that again now, a cruel glint in his eye as he hunched over, so his eyes were level with Michelle's. His voice suddenly softened but it did nothing to quell the fear that was bubbling in her stomach at having him so close. She stood her ground, though. "I honestly thought you had more about you..." He sighed, looking disappointed. "But you're just pathetic, aren't you?" He let out a scoff and then straightened up.
"Now get out there and start serving."
Michelle only did as she was told so he wouldn't be able to see the tears that had gathered in her eyes.
Robert left her blissfully alone for almost the rest of her shift, but she was still on edge every time the kitchen door opened. She managed to accidentally key in two wrong orders due to her distracted state, although thankfully managed to correct them just in the nick of time. Or so she'd thought. Michelle was in the processing of checking, and double checking the orders on the screen when she felt a presence behind her, way too close. She could feel the heat emanating from his body against her back, his breath warm in her ear as he leant forward, scrutinising the screen.
"What're you doing?" She hissed, arching her back in an attempt to put more distance between them.
He scowled at her.
"I'm checking the orders to make sure you haven't stuffed anything up." He said, without bothering to keep his voice down. He rolled his eyes at a passing staff member. "Useless, recently, this one. Take what she says with a pinch of salt." He pointed to Michelle and she felt the anger flare in her chest, right beneath the humiliation.
"It's a simple system, Michelle." Robert commented patronisingly, before suddenly letting out a bark of laughter. "Were your parents both cousins too? Is that why you're so incompetent?"
Two of his waitresses and a few customers at the nearest tables turned their heads at his comment and Michelle felt her face flush in shame. She was boiling hot with anger, but if she made a scene, she knew he'd sack her on the spot. That and his overbearing presence had started to make her stomach squirm with nerves. Carla had a point about him. She knew he'd already put Carla's car window through and threatened her, though, what else might he do if Michelle chose to aggravate him further?
They were distracted for a moment when one of the customers came up to the bar, a grimace across their face.
"Sorry, just wanted to let you know you've got a bit of a flood in one of the women's toilets. It's ruined by best heels—"
"Perfect." Robert growled, though turned and apologised to the customer. He clicked his fingers at Michelle and jabbed his thumb towards the kitchen.
"Get a mop."
|X|X|X|
Carla jumped slightly as she felt the bed dip, and someone slid in next to her. She couldn't remember when she'd dropped off or even having gone to bed for a second, and she felt a small surge of panic. The last thing she'd remembered was messaging Michelle to ask when she'd be home.
"Mm—" She threw out her hand and grappled in the dark for the bedside lamp.
"Shh, sorry, it's just me…" Michelle whispered, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. "I didn't mean to scare you, I thought you were fast on."
Carla let out a relieved sigh and abandoned her attempt to turn on the light. Instead, she rolled over to face her, tucking herself into the younger woman when she settled her arms around her.
"What time is it?" Carla asked, her voice husky with sleep. Michelle kissed the top of her head. "It's half ten, but go back to sleep if you need it, baby…"
"You got out on time today then?" Carla mumbled, absentmindedly fiddling with the lace trim that finished the satiny pyjama vest Michelle was wearing. She was wearing the matching shorts; Carla could feel the lace tickling her own thigh where they'd tangled their limbs together.
"Yeah," She yawned, feeling about ready to drop herself.
"How was Robert?"
"He was fine," Michelle shrugged easily. She could almost feel the scepticism radiating from the other woman and so opened her mouth to elaborate. "I mean, you know, a moody so-and-so but mostly just ignored me."
"Well, that's summat, I suppose." Carla said, her voice becoming slurred once more. "I'm knackered today as well; I offer to wash a few glasses for Jenny one flamin' time and now she thinks I'm fair game for every last thing." She grumbled, though she hadn't actually minded being needed. "Fetch this, carry that, bring up crisps, change the vod-"
"Er, I hope she's not over working you." Michelle suddenly put in. "You're in recovery."
"You're one to talk about over working." Carla responded, reaching up to prod her cheek.
"Mm, well, it's only while we're short staffed." She shrugged, though come to think of it, she couldn't actually remember when she'd last been on shift with Ryan.
"Well tell him to hire taller ones." Carla teased lightly, raising her head to kiss her lips. "I flamin' miss you."
Michelle let out a saddened hum and kissed her back, lingering longer than the previous one. "Believe me, I miss you too."
Carla wanted to force herself awake a little longer, but she could already feel fatigue creeping up on her and she was sure Michelle was ready to just sleep, too. She was already thinking longingly of Michelle's next day off. They'd have to do something this time, go away for the day. Carla smiled to herself, a list of ideas swimming through her mind; they could drive off to the sea side; have a shop at Trafford Centre because she definitely needed a few new tops; they could hit up another snazzy restaurant and have someone else to the waiting and cooking….
Michelle was clinging onto her, but Carla knew they were both slipping. Her heart raced, blood pounded in her ears. Fear gripped her, but not for herself. She couldn't pull Michelle over, she wouldn't.
"Let me go…" She pleaded, but the younger woman shook her head, tears streaming down her cheeks.
"I can't…I can't, I love you."
"She's not worth it."
Carla looked over Michelle's shoulder. It wasn't Peter, it was Robert. He pulled Michelle up but Carla was still clinging to her.
"You don't need her, let her go." Robert said, bringing his hand up to rest on the younger woman's cheek. She glanced up at him with a softened expression and Carla watched him graze a fingertip along her jaw. "I love you… I love you, Michelle." He leant down to kiss her and when the younger woman tilted her own face to meet him, her hands let go of Carla's to wrap around his neck. She screamed but neither of them looked down; she was just falling… falling…
Carla sat bolt upright with a gasp. She gulped down grateful lungsful of air, her hand resting against her chest. God it had all felt so real, like she'd been back there again; the fear that gripped her, the genuine terror for the younger woman's life, because she'd been certain that Michelle would have gone over with her. But she could feel something else too, beneath all that, the painful stab in each rapid thump of her heart as she remembered how it had felt in the dream; watching him kiss Michelle, watching her choose him, letting her go…
She closed her eyes, letting out a hum of discomfort and then the bed lurched again before two arms wrapped themselves around her frame.
"Hey, you were just dreaming…" Michelle whispered comfortingly; one of her hands settled over the one Carla still had pressed against her chest. She stroked over the back of it. "It was just a dream, sweetheart. You're okay…" She spoke into her ear and pressed their cheeks together, pulling her back into her lap.
Carla sank into her and felt the younger woman's lips against her skin. She kissed her cheek, followed a path to her temple and Carla suddenly turned and caught her mouth with her own.
"I love you…"
Michelle's eyes softened; Carla swivelled herself around to face her and the younger woman cupped her cheeks. "I love you, too," She whispered, concern flickering in her eyes.
"Fire escape…" Carla mumbled in response to her unasked question.
"Oh, sweetheart," Michelle sighed, kissing her lips very softly. She leant her forehead against Carla's and brushed her hair behind her ear, allowing her hand to linger. "It wasn't your fault. It really wasn't." She repeated the same mantra she'd keep repeating until the other woman believed her. "And even if it had been… Even if you'd just… I don't know, got really drunk and reckless or something, I still chose to go up after you. Okay? I don't regret the decision; I will always choose to keep you safe."
Carla nodded, swallowing hard as tears sprang to her eyes. They spilled down her cheeks and Michelle leant back against the pillows, bringing Carla down with her. She still had her hand wound into her hair; she made soothing circles against her back with one hand and pulled the duvet back up with the other.
"We're safe and we're here." She whispered, as the other woman nuzzled into her, allowing her tired eyes to fall shut once more. "And that's all we need to focus on."
|X|X|X|
Michelle blinked a few times, trying to get the order screen to come into focus. She was so tired. They'd had a bad couple of days. Carla had gone slightly downhill again. It wasn't to the extent as before but the only time she'd left her bed was to shower or curl on the sofa, and she hadn't felt up to offering Jenny any help. Michelle had been there at night and nipping back on her lunch breaks to make sure the other woman ate and took her medication, but her shifts, which had become rapidly more gruelling by the day, were really cutting into the time she could be spending with Carla. She was worried that was part of the reason for her dip in mood; it was certainly getting Michelle down.
She glanced around her to check the coast was clear. Robert was in the kitchen, no one was at the bar to be served and there weren't any new customers waiting to be seated. It was fairly quiet. She pulled out her phone and brought up her messages. She'd already reminded Carla to take her medication and she'd replied back assuring her she had.
To: Carla Connor x
Are you going to be okay getting to therapy? Xxx
It was her subtle way of reminding the other woman to go, but Carla must have been onto her from the start because less than a minute later, her phone vibrated.
1 new message from: Carla Connor x
I know you're checking up on me (; I'm fine baby, don't worry I'm dressed and Johnny is going to walk me over. See? xxx
Michelle smiled at the message, that was one less thing to worry about. Then a full grin stretched across her face when a picture came through directly after the text. Carla was smiling in the photo; she wore a burgundy blouse and had even donned make up and a necklace. Jenny was in the background and she must have noticed Carla was taking a photo because her hand was frozen in a wave, a too-happy, cheesy smile across her own face.
Michelle tapped out a response.
To: Carla Connor x
Gorgeous! Let me know how everything goes. I'll see you soon. I love you xxx
"If I see you on your phone again when you're supposed to be working, I'll dock your wages." Robert's voice sounded behind her, way too close. Her skin prickled uncomfortably at his presence.
"There's no one that needs serving." She stated, gesturing around the Bistro. "We're hardly heaving despite your insistence we're constantly short staffed."
Robert didn't like the fact that she seemed to feel comfortable enough to argue back.
"It still looks unprofessional if someone walks in. You might have lost all respect for yourself, but I've got an image to upkeep and I don't want you dragging this place down." He snapped.
Michelle whizzed around to face him, despite the fact that it made her stomach squirm to be in such close proximity to him.
"You what?"
He glanced her up and down, distaste across his features.
"Well, have you not looked in the mirror recently? You look haggard."
Michelle raised her brow, letting out a scoff.
"Yeah, I wonder why!"
Robert shrugged.
"Well, that's what happens when you settle, isn't it? You go to seed." He looked over her again, a mock sympathetic frown appeared across his features. "Which is such a shame, because you used to be pretty easy on the eye."
Michelle opened her mouth to retaliate, but found a lump wedged in her throat. Instead she turned back around, her stare hard on the order screen. The words became blurred and she blinked her tears away quickly. He was bitter. Bitter and jealous and she was not going to let him get to her. But, how could she have gotten him so wrong? She let out a soft gasp, his face was right by her shoulder; he'd dipped towards her and was peering at the screen again.
"What're you doing?" She hissed, trying to inject some of the venom she felt swimming in her stomach amongst all her nerves into her tone.
"Just double checking the order." He stated casually. It was as though he knew how tense he made her feel, and when he pulled back and she dared to look over her shoulder, she could see a tiny smirk playing on her lips. This time fury really did boil over her nerves. She stormed into the kitchen after him.
"You have absolutely no right to treat me like this!" She shouted. "What the hell is your issue?"
"My issue? You've been taking liberties for weeks! Cancelling shifts, waltzing in late, rocking up looking like you've been on a night long bender—"
Michelle glanced down at her attire. Hardly. She had a black, sheer blouse tucked into her jeans and black wedges. Her features might have shown the lack of sleep she'd had; courtesy of Carla's nightmares and her ridiculous work hours, but she'd managed to hide them well enough with make-up.
"—You get the orders wrong, start arguments with customers, you're on your phone on my time—"
"Alright, alright!" Michelle held her hand up to stop him. She was too exhausted to get into a proper argument. "Things have been hectic lately, I haven't had much sleep—"
"Spare me the details." Robert spat, his face scrunched up once more.
"Because Carla hasn't been well! Robert, you know all of this! You made her soup, for God's sake!"
"And now I'm making up for your constant mistakes!" He shouted straight back, taking a step towards her. "You're taking the mick!"
Michelle stepped back; she took a slow breath in and let it out, trying to calm herself down. There was a tension headache building behind her eyes and she just wanted the rest of her shift to pass with ease.
"Alright. I'll get back…" She gestured towards the kitchen door. "But I really need you to shave off some of my hours, okay? Carla needs me…" She'd softened her voice in hopes to placate him.
She didn't see the thunderous look in his eyes. As soon as she'd turned her back and started to walk away, she suddenly felt a bruising grip around her upper arms and she stumbled as she was pulled backwards. Michelle flew around in terror, but he'd already let her go.
"What the hell are you doing?"
He pointed to the floor in front of her.
"I spilled something. Didn't get the chance to put a wet floor sign down." He indicated to the glistening patch of floor she'd been about to walk over.
"You just grabbed me…" She wrapped her own hands around her arms.
"I was trying to stop you slipping." He said, but Michelle could feel herself trembling,
"Robert, you grabbed me!" She took a terrified step back.
"Michelle, I stopped you from breaking your flamin' neck!"
Her arms throbbed where his fingers had gripped onto her skin. It almost felt like they were still there.
"You did it on purpose…" She accused.
Robert let out a bark of laughter, looking at Michelle as though he couldn't believe what she'd said.
"Are you for real? I stop you hurting yourself and you accuse me of what? What is it you're accusing me of Michelle?"
She stayed silent. She didn't trust herself to speak; her heart was thudding and she could feel the lump rising in her throat again. She just wanted to get out of the kitchen, get away from him.
"Are you paranoid too?" He asked, softly, in a voice that would be concerned. "I think you've been spending too much time with your deluded girlfriend." Robert smirked. He dared to take a step closer to her and she was frozen. "Maybe it's better if you do keep coming in early, get away from the madness." He laughed, gesturing towards the kitchen door. "Go on, we've got customers."
|X|X|X|
Carla made her way downstairs at nine-thirty. She was already dressed for the day; black skirt and tights, with a navy blouse tucked in. After clearing it with Jeanette, they'd decided it might do her good to attempt to help out in the bar, so she'd told Johnny she was free to do a lunchtime shift. She could hear him and Jenny in the bar, bickering good-naturedly as they restocked the mixers in the fridge. The door was open and Carla peered into the backroom.
Michelle was sat at the table, she was already dressed for the day too. She was sat by untouched toast and had her hands wrapped around a mug, staring hard into space as though she had the world on her shoulders. Carla frowned. She'd been fast asleep the night before when Michelle had come back, so much that the younger woman hadn't even woken her when she'd slid into bed herself. When Carla had woke up the next morning, Michelle had already got up and she'd heard the shower running. She couldn't help but feel something was off, though had chalked it up to their lack of time together and Michelle being tired, because it was starting to make her feel miserable too.
"What's up with you, face-ache?" Carla tried to tease, as she stepped through. Michelle didn't even answer.
"Er, hello? Michelle?" She waved in front of her face and the younger woman's gaze snapped up.
"Hey, morning." She plastered a smile across her face and stood up, immediately wrapping her arms around the other woman. "You look good."
"And you look knackered…"
Michelle's face fell.
"Oh God, do I?" She dragged her bag up from the floor and grappled inside it for her hand mirror. She peered into it and tapped the concealer beneath her eyes, wincing.
Carla tilted her head in concern, moving her hand to tip the younger woman's chin.
"I just meant…You were staring into space." She reached up with her other hand and clicked the mirror shut, taking the bag from her and dumping it on a chair. Carla wrapped her arms around her neck and studied her face. She'd done darker make-up, her eyes were smoky and she'd tied her hair up into a high, sleek ponytail. Carla caught it and started to wind it around her fingers.
"Are you okay, 'Chelle?" She asked, her concern intensifying when she thought Michelle's eyes were growing brighter, wetter. "Baby…"
Michelle nodded, clearing her throat.
"Yeah, I'm okay. I'm just tired…You're right." She sighed.
"Well have you told Robert that you need fewer hours, or what?" Carla said; she was still playing with her hair.
"Yeah, I've said." Michelle mumbled, unable to meet Carla's eye. "We're just…Struggling at the moment. Can't get the staff."
Carla narrowed her eyes. She'd started to get the feeling there was something going on that Michelle wasn't telling her. She dropped her hand to the back of her neck and allowed it to rest there.
"Are you sure that's all it is? Do you need to talk to me?"
Michelle shook her head.
"No…No, everything's fine. Just let me get through this week and then I'll sort agency staff and book a few days off." She assured her. Robert would protest, but she knew full well she was entitled to them. "We'll do something… I'm sorry I haven't been around much."
Carla stroked down her cheek, offering her a fond smile. There was still something tugging in her chest, a twinge of discomfort but she pushed it down. Maybe she was just being paranoid, maybe it was just the recurring dreams and the lack of her presence. But it was temporary…
"I like your hair like that, it suits you." Carla told her, feeling lighter at the smile that broke across Michelle's face. "You look pretty."
"Then why haven't you kissed me, yet?" Michelle whispered; her cheeks were slightly flushed at Carla's compliment, her face eyes suddenly clear of the burdened cloud that had been swirling in them.
Carla slid her hand to the back of her neck and brought her closer. It was supposed to be soft, lingering, but Michelle's own hands wound into her hair and Carla realised just how much she'd missed her. Her lips parted and from the way Michelle instantly deepened the kiss, it seemed like she felt exactly the same way. It put a stop to some of the doubt that had swam around in Carla's own mind; put a stop to the intrusive thoughts that somehow Michelle hadn't been quite as happy as she'd let on with how things had progressed between them—
"I'll stick the kettle o—oops!" Jenny appeared in the doorway, her call to Johnny cut off at the scene she was met with. She watched the two women break apart quickly and managed a guilty smile. "I'm not here, I'm not here!" She called cheerfully; her hand shielded her eyes as she tiptoed across the living room and she kept her gaze on the floor, sauntering into the kitchen with a chuckle.
"Only you flamin' are." Carla muttered irritably under her breath, letting out a disappointed sigh. "We really can't get a minute, can we?"
"Hey…" Michelle tucked her fingertips beneath her chin. "We will, I'll sort something." She promised, dipping forward to peck her lips again.
Carla held her face between her hands for a moment, soaking up the reassuring smile the younger woman offered her. "Okay… Have a good day, baby."
Michelle's expression faltered for a split second, but she soon plastered the smile back on her face. "You too, darling. And don't overdo it. I love you."
"I love you, too."
|X|X|X|
Carla glanced up from where she'd been checking her messages at the sound of her name. She smiled as Kate walked over to the bar and perched on a stool.
"Dad said you were working, thought I'd come and see how you were doing." She smiled, digging in her bag for her purse. "I'll have a small white wine while I'm here, though."
"Hi, darling." Carla greeted her warmly, placing her phone down. Michelle hadn't replied to any of her messages. She'd asked her how her shift was going and if she'd managed to get an earlier finishing time, but that had been at lunchtime. It was nearing six, now. She brought Kate's drink over and waved her money away. "What's the point of your dad owning a pub if you can't get a freebie?"
"How's it going, anyway?" She asked, taking a sip from the glass and then setting it down. "I was thinking of asking to go back to work myself. Just a few shifts to pass the time…" Her grief was still unbearably overwhelming, but it was clear that having nothing to do wasn't helping her.
"Well, Robert will probably bite your hand off. He's having staff issues." Carla told her, her face miserable.
"Is he?" Kate frowned; he'd not mentioned it to her. He'd told her to take as much time as she needed to grieve.
"Yeah, 'Chelle's never out of the place." She huffed, picking her phone back up. There were still no messages. "I don't know, Kate, things seem off…"
The younger girl picked up instantly on Carla's uncertainty and leant in closer, lowering her voice so they wouldn't be overheard. Although there weren't many punter's in yet; they were probably still finishing work and having their tea. They'd be filtering in soon.
"Is everything okay?"
Carla shrugged.
"I honesty haven't got a clue. Michelle spends all of her time at the Bistro and when she comes home we just… go to bed."
Kate cleared her throat pointedly and glanced down at her drink.
"Ha, not like that." Carla murmured, worry flashing in her eyes. "We haven't… At all. Since that first night."
Kate looked back up at her.
"Seriously?"
"It's my fault." Carla admitted, suddenly slumping down, her elbow resting on the bar. "It's like…" She trailed off and glanced hurriedly around the bar. No one seemed to be taking much notice and both Johnny and Jenny were in the backroom on a tea break. Kate sensed her apprehension and placed a comforting hand on her arm.
"I want to be able to. I do. I just…Can't. Physically." She groaned, dropping her head into her hand. "It's this medication. You know, I look at her and I want her so much but… It's like the idea is there but the execution…Well." Carla finished with a heavy sigh, flashing Kate a sad smile when she patted her arm sympathetically.
"I'm sure she understands." Kate assured her. "It's not like she's with you just for sex."
"Good job, isn't it?" Carla mumbled, though she still looked worried. "She had a good sex life with Robert… And now she hasn't got one at all…" She trailed off, and Kate thought she could see where she was going already. Before she had the chance to jump in, Carla spoke again. "What if…?"
Kate shook her head.
"No." She stated firmly. "She absolutely wouldn't."
Carla pressed her lips together. She started to pick anxiously at a beer mat, tearing the corner of it.
"She's been off, lately… I thought it was the long hours getting her down, but what if it's me? What if I'm getting her down?"
Kate reached out and took the beer mat from her. She placed her own hands over Carla's to keep them still.
"There's no way you're getting her down. She loves you."
"It's not always enough though, is it?" She said sadly, her brow furrowed. "And I don't even think she's a hundred percent comfortable being in a same-sex relationship."
"Rana wasn't, at first…" Kate said hesitantly, as though trying to work out whether she was ready to talk about it herself without getting upset. She took a breath and continued. "It took her a while to accept… It's just new to her, new to both of you."
"It's taking Johnny a while, too…" Carla murmured, glancing over her shoulder to check the coast was still clear. "I don't think that's helping. Roy was fine about it, I don't understand the big deal."
"You and me both." Kate laughed softly, and Carla held her hand properly, giving it a gentle squeeze. "Are you sure you're fine about it, though? You seem to be handling it all really well."
Carla nodded; it was one thing she'd been completely fine about. Up until now, anyway.
"Yeah. I mean, I am still in complete shock but I just think I've been through so much that…It's nice to grab onto something good." She explained, throwing a knowing smile at Kate. "You were right, about holding onto things that are special. And I've had people on this street talking about me for all sorts; usually because I've messed up catastrophically. But if they're talking about me again because I'm in love with Michelle then I think I can handle it."
Kate placed her empty glass back down and looked at her warmly; Carla's attitude was refreshing, and a relief. She couldn't imagine the state she'd have been in if she'd had this to break down over on top of everything else. That said, Carla was chewing her lip anxiously again and Kate remembered what had brought the topic up in the first place.
"Look, talk to Michelle about it okay? There's no point you stood here working yourself up. I'll message Robert tonight and ask if I can cover a couple of her shifts."
Carla's expression softened and she leant across the bar to kiss her cheek.
"Kate…Thank you." Her tone was gentle, sincere; she glanced down at her sister's empty glass and nodded towards it. "Fancy another?"
Kate attempted to look like she was contemplating the decision, but a sly grin formed across her face and she answered almost straight away.
"Ooh, go on then. Just one more."
Carla laughed and retrieved the wine bottle. She was halfway through pouring when she heard her name again.
"Alright, Aunty Carla, is it self-service or summat?"
Ryan was grinning at her. He walked over to the bar and plonked himself down next to Kate.
"I'm doing a shift, actually." Carla told him, a small frown appearing across her features. "Shouldn't you be?"
Ryan shook his head. "Nah, I've got a couple of days off. Go on, pull us a pint, please." He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. "And let me video this because it's going to be hilar—"
"I thought the Bistro was short staffed?" Carla cut across him. Ryan looked blank.
"First I've heard. Can I get that pint?"
Carla frowned across at Kate, who looked just as puzzled.
"Michelle's been on twelve-hour shifts. She's had one day off in the last week."
Ryan looked more bothered about the fact he didn't seem to be getting his drink anytime soon than his mother's full work schedule.
"Maybe we are, then. I don't know, I'm just washing pots and serving stuff." He shrugged, frisbeeing one of the beermat's towards Carla. She batted it away impatiently. "I think the last time I was on shift with mum was back when you asked her out."
Carla's face dropped. Kate already knew she'd jumped to the worst conclusion.
"Carla, it won't be what you think—" Kate began, but Carla's eyes filled with tears of dread.
"What else could it possibly be?" She whispered. Her face crumpled and she suddenly turned on heel. She passed the door to the backroom, telling Johnny and Jenny that she needed a break.
"Carla, talk to Michelle!" Kate shouted after her, but she was already halfway up the stairs.
Ryan shot Kate a concerned glance, nodding his head towards where Carla had taken off.
"What the hell's that all about?" He asked, though was distracted when Jenny came through.
"Hey, Jenny, can I get a pint?"
|X|X|X|
Michelle was perched against the sink in the staff toilets. She'd had to fake a comfort break just to safely pull out her phone.
2 new messages from: Carla Connor x
[12:00]: How's your shift going? Xxx
[13:04]: Have you managed to wrangle an earlier finishing time? Miss you ): xxx
She sighed to herself, it was already after nine and she hadn't dared even broach the subject with Robert. He was in a foul mood, which wasn't new, though he'd even been snappy at other staff members and at one point had almost reduced Faye to tears. Then he'd taken issue with Michelle trying to stand up for her and Michelle had sent the young girl home, meaning he was working her even harder than before. She hoped Carla wouldn't be too mad at her.
To: Carla Connor x
Had to send one of the waitresses' home so couldn't finish any sooner, sorry baby. Miss you too. Hope your shift went ok? Love you millions xxx
She pocketed her phone after waiting as long as she dared for a reply which never came. Maybe Carla had finished her shift and gone to bed; it was bound to have been tiring. All she wanted to do was get home to her and make sure she was alright.
Instead, she threw herself into clearing tables, disinfecting surfaces, anything that would make it look like she was busy should Robert come through the door; anything that might pass the last hour of her shift.
"Robert says can you nip into the freezer and gets some ice. One of the customers wants an ice bucket for their champagne and the ice maker's been switched off."
Michelle glanced up from where she'd been scrolling through the last orders on her screen. One of the waiters had approached her; he had four plates balanced in his arms.
"Can't he? I'm due to leave soon." Michelle groaned, though she was already moving towards the kitchen.
"He's busy."
Michelle stepped through. In all fairness, he looked busy. He was hunched over the stuff, shaking pans and adjusting temperatures while whatever was in there hissed and sizzled. He'd got the radio on, and he didn't even give Michelle a second glance and she made her way over to the freezer.
She shivered slightly as she pulled it open, wedging it in place with the block that had been situated in there for safety ever since—She shuddered slightly. She really did not want to think about that. Instead, she scanned the shelves. They were stocked to the brim, and she had to wander right to the back until she found the bags of ice that were stacked in piles. She proceeded to tug one out; wondering why the ice maker had been switched off so early. With a groan, she realised that it might mean she was going to be the one cleaning it. Then the room was suddenly plunged into complete darkness. The door had swung shut with a bang. Michelle gasped, dropping the bag. It hit the floor and burst, she could hear the cubes rolling out of the floor. She had to pick her way over them; felt several of them crunch beneath her heels.
Blindly, she felt her way towards the exit; she wrapped her fingers around the handle and tugged hard, but it wouldn't budge. She banged on the door.
"Robert! I'm in here! You idiot!" She shouted, slamming her fist against it again. It hurt to do so, her hands were already freezing. Michelle waited a moment and then pressed her ear to the door. She could still hear the radio.
"Robert!" She tried again, louder this time, curling her hand and using the side of it to save her knuckles as she hammered on it.
It was freezing. Her panic started to build. It was pitch black and she only had on the black, sleeveless dress she'd thrown on that morning and a thin blazer that did nothing to lock in the warmth as she tugged it further around herself. She dipped her hand into her pocket and pulled out her phone. There weren't any signal bars.
"No, no, come on…" She hissed, holding it up in desperation. Her attempt was futile. She banged again on the door, shouting again to Robert, or anyone, the panic causing her voice to crack.
Would the other waiter assume she'd gone home? Her shift must have finished by now. Maybe he'd gone too. No one knew she was here. No one other than Robert—
A sickening realisation dawned on her, one that caused her heart to freeze as though the cold had set in already. She pressed her lips together and let out a terrified whimper, tears spilling down her cheeks. They felt boiling hot for a moment on her cold cheeks and then freezing as they cooled against her skin. She was shaking.
"Robert, let me out!" She sobbed, her hands now too sore to continue hammering against the metal door. She wrapped them around herself in an attempt to lock in some warmth. He had to know she was in there. He couldn't leave her… He couldn't…
She suddenly plunged her hand into her pocket and picked up her phone again.
"You've got three seconds to let me out, or I'm going to call the police and tell them I'm stuck—" It was an empty threat, she was sure it wasn't just her network, positive that none could provide her with signal but the door was suddenly pushed open with such force that she almost tripped over as she stumbled backwards out of its way.
Light came pouring into the room. The radio was still blasting and Robert looked confused.
"What're you doing?"
"What am I-?" Michelle scrambled out and gratefully soaked up the warmth. "You locked me in!"
"Eh?" Robert frowned, looking at her as though she wasn't right. He nodded to the block that they used to stop the door.
"You must not have wedged it open properly." He shrugged. "I'd have thought you'd have learnt your lesson after, uh…Our encounter." A hint of a smirk played across his lips and Michelle felt sick. "I always double check."
"I did." Michelle insisted. Her face was pale and terrified. "You knew I was in there, you asked me to get ice. Could you not hear me?"
Robert shook his head.
"I always listen to music when I cook." He must have caught the scepticism in her eyes because his gaze suddenly darkened. "Ah… Is this your paranoia again?" The grin across his face was malicious.
"You knew. You did…" Michelle whispered shakily, taking a step away from him. "Why?"
"Michelle, have you heard yourself? I've just saved your flippin' skin!" He protested.
"Funny how I mention the police and you opened the door!"
"The police? What are you on about? I was coming in to get ice because I thought you'd forgotten." Robert insisted. He tilted his head in a way that would be concerned, if it weren't for the glint in his eye, almost like he wanted to laugh. "I couldn't hear a word. It's a good job you've been so incompetent recently, isn't it? I might not have found you. You might have been trapped there for ages…"
His tone was passive, how he could speak about something so dangerous so casually made her knees want to buckle. This was the least safe she'd ever felt around him.
"That's twice I've stopped you from being hurt and each time you've gone off at me." He tutted, crossing his arms over his chest. "I think you ought to get some of those happy pills your girlfriend is on. I didn't realise psychosis was catching. Maybe it's genetic?" Robert suggested, letting out a laugh.
Michelle felt her eyes fill and she so desperately didn't want to cry in front of him. Instead she turned away.
"My shift is finished." She bit out.
"Your shift is finished when I say it's finished." He suddenly snapped. "You've made a right mess in my freezer."
Robert gestured inside, where ice cubes were scattered over the floor. "It's a health and safety hazard; get it cleaned."
Michelle didn't respond. There was no way she was going back in there.
"Go on. I'll stand right here and make sure you don't lock yourself in again."
|X|X|X|
Carla was sat crossed leg on the bed. Michelle's bed. Their bed. She wasn't sure why this was the one they'd designated as their shared room; maybe it was because of the nightmares that had occurred in the one Carla used to sleep in, alone. It was after eleven and she'd already heard Michelle come up the stairs and go straight into the bathroom. She tapped her phone impatiently. She wasn't sure what it was she wanted to ask, to say, she wasn't sure she wanted to know. Despite Kate's many messages that specifically instructed her not to wind herself up, it's all she had been doing. She squeezed her eyes tight; the image of Robert and Michelle and what the hell they might be doing during closing hours had been playing on her mind all night. Her knee bounced anxiously and when the door finally opened, Carla jumped up from the bed.
"Where've you been?" She asked, trying to keep her voice steady.
"I've…Been at work?" Michelle frowned. She was wrapped in a silky, lilac dressing gown; it was synched at the waist and fell to her thighs. Carla scanned her figure, then suddenly rushed at her. She grabbed fistfuls of the cool material and crashed her mouth into Michelle's. She kissed her hard, trying to deepen it as her hands moved to pull at the ties but the younger woman pulled back.
"What are you doing?"
"What? Do you not want me?" Carla asked, unable to keep the venom from her tone.
"Carla, I… I'm just exhausted. That's all."
Carla nodded, letting out a scoff. She turned away and put a few paces between herself and Michelle.
"Yeah you would be, wouldn't you? How has it been with Robert?"
Michelle frowned; clearly, she was missing something here. She clocked the wired look in Carla's eyes and wondered if something had happened while she'd been gone; she seemed manic.
"What do you mean?" She asked, calmly, trying to cut through the tension in the room.
"Well, you spend a lot of time with him." Carla pointed out. "You must be getting on really well."
The younger woman looked lost, but she had the mad urge to laugh humourlessly at Carla's comment. She hadn't quite shaken off the fear that he'd instilled into her from her previous shift.
"What's this about?"
"Is there something going on?" Carla asked, bluntly, scrutinising Michelle's face as she spoke. There was no fear in her expression, no flicker of realisation as though she'd just been caught out. For a moment, it relieved Carla slightly to see her looking so confused. She could read her, Michelle couldn't hide from her… Could she?
"What?" Michelle narrowed her eyes, surely Carla couldn't mean-
"Between you and Robert?" She stated, obviously. What if Michelle was just playing for time? Keep her talking while she thought up a million excuses.
"How could you even think that?" Michelle whispered; the beginnings or tears pricked the corners of her eyes. But Carla couldn't muster up any sympathy, because she'd spent days and days on her own while the younger woman spent all her time with her ex, her ex who had given her stability and a home and a job.
"How? You spend all your time with him!" She couldn't keep the bitterness from her voice. She tried to reason with herself, as she had been over the last few hours. Carla had reminded herself over and over that Michelle had spent every last moment with her in hospital. But how could the same woman who'd brought her flowers and saved her life and bathed her and fed her suddenly barely be around her? It hadn't made sense.
"I'm working! It's not through choice." Michelle protested, daring to take a step closer towards Carla.
"I spoke to Ryan. He's been off for two days. How short staffed can you be?" She fired back. That was it. That was the one that had made her question it all. And that's when Michelle's face faltered. She saw it in her eyes; the uncertainty, the way she struggled to find words.
"Carla, I- I'm not in charge of the rota. I really don't know—"
"Is it because we're not having sex?" Carla asked outright. "Is it because I can't or because you don't want to? Are you uncomfortable-?"
"Stop it!" Michelle cried, and tears really did fill her eyes this time. The accusation hurt. "You know that's not-You've got this all wrong! Carla, this is me you're talking to. Me. I don't do affairs—"
"Oh, like me you mean?" Carla scoffed, her brow quirked. It had felt like a dig.
"That's not what I meant…" Michelle's voice had softened; the last thing she wanted or needed was more animosity. All she wanted to do was curl up with her. "I love you." She said, firmly. "I told our entire family—"
"Were you just keeping me sweet? Worried about upsetting me?" Carla voiced the thoughts that had been swimming around her head since her conversation with Kate and Ryan. "You can tell me Michelle, I'm a grown woman I can handle—"
"Where is all this coming from?" Michelle's face was creased with concern now. "Carla, seriously… Are you feeling—"
Carla let out a shout of laughter, clapping her hands over her face. She'd seen it coming.
"Oh, of course! I knew it. I knew you'd make it about my illness." She snapped. "Michelle, anyone would feel this way!"
"You've accused me of having an affair, because I'm having to work to make up the hours I dropped when I was looking after you." She shook her head, swiping impatiently at the tears on her face. It had hurt her more than she wanted to admit. In fact, part of her wanted to really admit the reason for it all, but every time she contemplated this, she remembered the fury in Robert's eyes, the brick that had gone through Carla's car window, the threats… Would he hurt her? Would he go that far?
"You just jumped straight to it." Michelle murmured, sadly. "That's… that's like being paranoid…"
Carla let out a groan of frustration, her hands falling to her sides.
"It's completely different!" Anger was building in her chest, she could feel it bubbling to the surface, ready to boil over. "We're in a new relationship and you're barely here, don't you dare make out I'm just paranoid." Her breath was heavy, she was stressed, she could feel the anxiety building in her chest but she snapped her eyes closed and forced it back. "You're never here, you can barely manage a text and…Yeah, it's getting me down. It would get anyone down. It would make anyone think something was up."
"Maybe we're just not ready…" Michelle whispered. She knew her absence had affected Carla, but it had knocked her more than she wanted to admit that she could even contemplate the idea that she'd do that. She was hurt and exhausted and her tired mind homed onto the idea that there wasn't the trust between them that she'd originally thought.
"Oh for gods sake!" Carla screamed, finally losing control. "How many times? I know my feelings! Stop using it all against me, do you have any idea how insulting—"
"Do you have any idea how insulting is it to be accused of having an affair?" Michelle snapped back, and now they'd both lost sight. Carla was far too frustrated and upset that the younger woman was refusing to give answers and instead too eager to blame her illness rather than listen, and Michelle had been singed by the insinuation that she'd been unfaithful.
"I'm not saying you don't know your feelings." Michelle's voice was steady again, she'd taken a breath to ease her emotions. "I'm saying maybe you're not quite ready for a relationship—"
Carla felt her heart drop.
"Do you know what? I think it's you who isn't ready for this." She whispered, crossing the room so she could make her way towards the door. "But you couldn't just tell me, you're taking the easy way out—"
"No, Carla. That's not it. I want to be with you!" Michelle stressed, because if she couldn't tell her anything else, she wanted to assure her that being away from her was never a choice.
Carla turned back around, a sceptical brow raised. But she had tears in her eyes too.
"Do you? I think you need to take some time to really think about that…"
"It's all I thought about for weeks."
Carla let out a saddened hum, shaking her head. She thought she might have a little more understanding as to why Johnny had been so worried about them.
"And look what's happened, now we are." Carla pulled open the door and Michelle made a move as though to reach out and stop her.
"No." Carla stated firmly, and she knew she'd listen. "Don't follow me. I want to sleep alone, tonight."
a/n: I thought I'd drop in some angst; can't keep it too sweet…
Another hard one to get through, but thank you to TheLyricsAreMyStory for listening to me complain, debate and have proper whine, while offering me lots of advice and encouragement to go ahead with this!
If you've been affected by issues raised in this chapter, there is support and information available:
Workplace bullying helpline: 0845 22 55 787
The national bullying helpline website (can be found via google) also has lots of guidelines on how to spot the signs of gaslighting, raising a grievance and other useful advice if you, or anyone you know, experiences any kind of bullying either online, at work, in school, college, or university. Stay safe!