o yeah, I made a thing. And now it's canon!
2.5
-
LADY PLAGG
-
Amy Dallon stumbled over her own feet as she shuffled down the sidewalk on her way back from the hospital. She'd just finished her third twelve-hour shift in a row this week, and she could feel the aching in her bones.
She still felt guilty for knocking off three hours, but the doctors had all but thrown her out after she passed out on top of a coma patient. She tried ameliorating the guilt by donating to the local "Fight Against Cancer" fund, but the allowance that Carol gave her was so small that she could barely afford to buy candy for the surgery ward.
A storm cloud brewed overhead, and the first droplets of a rainstorm landed on her. It swiftly grew into a downpour, soaking her to the bone.
Well, at least she couldn't catch a cold.
As she turned a corner onto the street Victoria lived on, a shiny silver something blew past her, hitting a puddle and spraying her with enough water to knock her off her feet. Amy lay on the ground in disbelief; staring up at the darkening sky as the muddy water built up around her.
Was this all some kind of karma? Was the universe taking its pound of flesh because she was so twisted up inside?
Did anyone even care?
As if to answer her question, the thing that had splashed her returned, backing up slowly, the "reverse" alarms squeaking loudly even through the rain. Amy lifted her head out of the puddle, her hair heavy with muddy water, and saw what had splashed her down.
It seemed to be a converted SUV, black with red highlights. With a whirr and a click, a searchlight sprang up from the roof and illuminated her.
Amy covered her eyes, still seeing spots as the light struck her. Couldn't they have given her some warning? And who the hell drove something like that, anyways?
"...this is a bad idea..."
"...just look..."
"...we could totally..."
Amy couldn't make out much of what was going on over the torrential rain, and when she tried to stand, she found that her shoes and socks had become so soaked that they slipped underneath her, sending her right back into the puddle on her butt. Water splashed everywhere, but there really wasn't anything left dry.
It just looked pathetic. Like she was.
Finally, the voices in the car stopped, but the next one removed all doubt as to who it was.
"Oh ho! So I see that the heroic Panacea is trapped here, in this devious device of which I wish I could take credit for!"
Oh for Heaven's sake, this buffoon?
"It seems the greatest healer has been disabled by a case of... water on the knee?"
What? She was too young to get something like that.
"In any event! You'll be coming... with US! And the whole city will tremble as we ransom their prize Panacea! Gahahahahahaha!"
Well shit. And just as she thought things couldn't get worse. The searchlight retreated, to be replaced by a menacing robotic claw that reached over the sidewalk to grab her. Amy didn't even try to struggle, and the arm itself had trouble lifting the weight of her water-soaked clothes.
What a miserable day.
-
Amy opened her eyes to a dimly-lit room, bedecked in red velvet and heavy-looking wood furniture. A fire crackled in a brick fireplace, heating the room and casting shadows throughout the interior. Above it, a wall-mounted clock ticked ominously, though the white-and-silver color scheme seemed to clash with the rest of the room.
Hadn't she seen that setup somewhere before?
As she thought on it, there was a tremendous bang on the doors which drove her from her thoughts, and she squeaked in surprise.
"oww... freaking door, why didn't it... oh, forgot to unlock it. okay, take two!"
Another bang, and the doors flung open, revealing a figure in villainous armor, her cape billowing around her as the warm air escaped from the room.
Oh God, Amy had been kidnapped by-
"THE TECHNO QUEEN has captured you, Amy Dallon! Or should I say... Panacea!" The two-bit villainess flung her hand out, pointing at her as if making a stunning declaration. Amy was a bit befuddled.
"Um, yes? I don't really keep a secret identity?"
"And now that your face is known to me, there is nothing stopping me from my most heinous undertaking yet! Bwahahahaha!" Amy stared as her captor actually put her hands on her hips before leaning back and laughing into the air.
Who even did that?
"Excuse me, miss?"
"THE TECHNO QUEEN!" The villain replied. "Not 'miss,' THE TECHNO QUEEN!"
"Well, The Techno Queen." Amy refused to play along with her madness. "You've got a nice room here, but aren't you supposed to change the victim's clothes when you kidnap them? The bed is kinda ruined, now. And it was sorta nice before." Just another thing she ruined. Amy didn't feel too guilty about wrecking a villain's bed, but it had been comfortable to wake up in, before she realized that it hadn't been a water-bed before she was placed in it.
The Techno Queen stood with a finger raised, as though she was about to make a point, but nothing came out. After a few awkward moments, one of her associates stepped in from around the corner.
"Excuse me, your majesty, but there seems to be an incident on the main screen. Why don't you let me handle this?" The blonde lackey clapped a hand on her leader's shoulder.
"Aha! The main screen! Of course, thank you my DASTARDLY TECHIE! And now I must leave this part of the grand plan to you! Do not fail me again!"
"... I haven't failed you at all, your majesty."
"Excellent! Keep up the good record!" And with that, the lunatic turned away and walked down the corridor, her cape getting pinned between her armor plates for a decidedly non-threatening look.
Amy turned towards the lackey.
"So... are you as crazy as she is?"
"Nope!" The blonde girl replied. "She just pays really well."
"And that's enough to go along with this nonsense?"
"For the most part, yeah, but it also kinda grew on me. I mean, she's a lot better than my last boss, and the stuff we do never gets any real heat on us, so it's all like one big game of cops and robbers."
"Cops and robbers." Amy deadpanned.
"Yup. Now, I brought a change of clothes for you, since Techno Queen-"
"Aren't you supposed to say that out loud?"
"...only around her. Now, put these on." The villain threw a pile of rags at Amy, who looked at them in shock.
"I was wrong, you are as crazy as she is. These aren't even clothes! There's more empty space than there is clothes!" The other girl averted her eyes and grimaced in distaste.
"Yeah, I know. Believe me. But she doesn't keep anything else around for us, trying to force us into wearing them. Sexy flunky my ass. In any event, we kinda do our laundry daily around here. I've had to re-dye my costume from all the washing."
"So this is the only thing you've got?"
"Yup. And unless you want to walk around soaking wet, that's what you'll wear."
"Goddammit."
"And then I'd like to sit and have a chat." At this, Amy considered the blonde villain carefully. What exactly was she trying to do?
"What do you mean?"
"See, my whole shtick is knowing things, and there's a lot about you that I've figured out." Amy paled in fear. "Don't worry, I'm not going to start blabbing secrets. But I do think we should talk."
"...fine." Amy ground out.
"Before that, however, you need to put that on!" The other girl finished with a smirk. Amy grudgingly reached towards the collection of rags that somehow managed to stay together, and the villain turned around to let her change.
-
"Oh. Oh wow, I didn't think..."
"Yeah, it kinda works after all, doesn't it?"
The two of them stood in front of the full-length mirror as they checked out the costume. At first it had simply been too cold, but the addition of one of Techno Queen's backup capes (apparently she went through a lot) had framed Amy's figure and highlighted what was shown. It was still way more skin than she felt comfortable with, but there was this kind of... atmosphere that built up around her.
"Try turning to the side a bit. Yeah, just like that. Now, tilt your head just a bit, take a half-step forward. Now, hand on the hip like so, rest the cape on your elbow and... perfect!" Tattletale, as she had introduced herself, finished on a high-note, happiness evident in her voice.
Amy looked at her reflection as she wore the costume. It... actually didn't look that bad. Villainous as all get-out, but it had its appeal. Mostly to teenage boys, she was sure, but she could make it work.
She shook her head, trying to clear those thoughts out. "Now hold on just a minute, you may have talked me into the costume, but what's with the posing?" Amy looked at Tattletale's reflection while she spoke, as the other girl was busy working some sort of styling gel into her hair and braiding the result. It was definitely a new look for her.
It was kinda nice.
"Oh, just going over your villain posture."
And suddenly everything came crashing down.
"WHAT?!"
"Now hold on Amy, just let me explain. Here, sit back down and we'll talk it over."
-
"...and that's why you should do this." Tattletale finished, the smirk returning to her face.
Amy let her head drop as she considered. This... this was deliberately going into what she feared most. But these people were hardly villainous at all. Could she... could she maybe just get her toes wet without jumping in? Maybe if she knew what it was like, those traitorous daydreams would stop coming? Tattletale had made quite a few good points, and it did seem harmless, what they were planning...
"...alright." She said, mumbling her agreement.
"Hmm? I didn't catch that."
"I said I'll do it." Amy's face flushed. She couldn't believe that she was actually going to indulge in... villainy. But the idea sent a trill of some unknown feeling through her.
Was this excitement? Did this mean she was meant to do this sort of thing?
"Excellent!" Tattletale clapped her hands in satisfaction. "Now, let's go over your new persona..."
-
Victoria Dallon, also known as Glory Girl, smashed through the rows of robots with ease, her rage lending her strength beyond what she normally used. Behind her, the Brockton Bay Wards tried to keep up with her advance, but the robots they fought seemed marginally more competent, and kept them from making good time.
Glory Girl just smashed through everything in her way. The Techno Queen had gone too far this time! Taking Clockblocker had been a good laugh all around, but Amy was her favorite little sister.
She was going to rip the Tinker armor right off that little...
"Stop right there, heroine!" The 'woosh' of a heavy cape flitting through the air echoed in the chamber Victoria had just entered. The brute came to a halt to examine her opponent before smashing her down.
And then Glory Girl dropped to the floor, landing face-first in shock.
The villain in front of her brought a hand to her mouth in concern, but stopped before she ran to the confused hero.
"Ames?" She said, stunned at what she was seeing.
The scantily-clad girl stumbled in place, and took a moment to recover before speaking. "Behold, foolish hero! I am... The Dark Lady Plagg! And... I will be... your doom!" The speech was stilted and unsure, and she squeaked when speaking her name, but the idea was there.
"Ames?!" Glory Girl slowly pulled herself up, but her jaw seemed determined to stay on the floor. "What the hell are you wearing?!"
"Dark Lady Plagg!" She retorted, even as she pulled the cape around her. "And you..." She faltered for a moment, and ducked her head into her cape. "And you, foolish one, are hopelessly outmatched! Now, witness my power!" The Dark Lady Plagg reached into her pocket and pulled out a pair of seeds, which she activated with her power before throwing them.
Before their eyes, the twin pods cracked and broke open, letting a nest of twisting vines grow at phenomenal speed, whipping through the air as they smashed into the ground and took root. Between them, a great flower opened up, and along the sides of the room a complicated system of mirrors fell into place, focusing sunlight on the giant plant.
"Oh ho ho..." Lady Plagg began in a flat tone, still stunned at watching her creation grow. "I mean... umm... Ohohohohoho!" Her second attempt at laughter seemed much more villainous, as it echoed through the chamber. "Now you see little girl, you cannot hope to contest me!"
Victoria watched in astonishment as her little sister, dressed in leather straps and spikes, threw her head back and laughed menacingly. With a hand on her hip and one foot forward, she looked as though she'd stepped straight out of a comic book. If Victoria hadn't known any better, she'd have thought she was fighting a serious villain!
"Amy? Amy what the hell?!" Victoria shouted in disbelief, even as she dodged a massive vine that whipped towards her, bouncing off the floor as it missed.
"My name is Dark. Lady. Plagg!" She emphasized the words, even as she threw her hand out once more. "Now, my creation, attack!"
The plant began striking out at Victoria, and while Amy felt horrible for even thinking about hurting her, she also felt that wonderful trill race up her spine. This was forbidden, wrong, villainous.
She didn't even have to fake the smile that grew across her face.
-
The Wards paused in their race to the door as they heard loud thumping on the other side. Dust was shaken from the walls, and more than a few loose stones were knocked about.
"What the heck is that?" Gallant wondered. Clockblocker jumped in before anyone else could answer.
"Gadzooks! It must be THE TECHNO QUEEN's latest dastardly device! We have to hurry!" He struck a pose before crossing the final distance to the door.
The rest of the Wards endured his antics with the silence of the long-suffering.
-
"Your tyranny ends today, Lady Plagg!" Victoria shouted as she tore one of the vines loose from the central body of the plant, green ichor spraying out as the limb was removed. Her grin shone in the light, and Amy had to focus to deliver her line.
"No matter how strong you may be, you'll never be able to stop the mighty power of the Carnipod!" Oh god, she should have planned a better name. Carnipod? Even Victoria paused in air as she considered the ridiculous title.
And the next vine slapped her out of the air. Amy gasped in alarm, but before she could move, the doors were kicked open, and in came the Wards.
"Stop right there, THE TECHno... huh?" Clockblocker's words stilled.
Shit, what were her lines? Oh, right.
"Aha! Foolish heroes, you perhaps expected to fight THE TECHNO QUEEN, but it is I, The Dark Lady Plagg, her right hand, who you will face today! My Carnipod will knock you all down!"
Shadow Stalker cradled her head in her hands.
"Whoah. Who's the babe?" Clockblocker asked, prompting Vista to slap the back of his head from ten feet away.
"She just said! Weren't you paying attention?"
"Oh, I was paying attention alright. So, can I ask your name, miss?"
Amy pulled the cloak tighter around her. Boys. Fortunately, Victoria came to the rescue.
"Enough! Wards, we have to beat The Dark Lady Plagg before her Carnipod grows any stronger! Take out the mirrors while I keep the vines in check!"
"Right! WARDS, MOVE OUT!" Clockblocker adopted his traditional "Fighting THE TECHNO QUEEN" stance, as it felt appropriate to the situation.
The Dark Lady Plagg cackled maniacally as the massive plant struck out at the Wards, trying to keep them from breaking the mirrors focusing sunlight. Victoria would occasionally rip off a vine, only to be driven off by others to cover its regrowth. Clockblocker grabbed hold of one, only to stumble back in shock as it detached itself before he could freeze the entire thing.
Despite its power, and Lady Plagg's assurances to the contrary, the mirrors were broken, and the Carnipod slowly died without the empowering rays. Glory Girl landed in front of the Dark Lady, trying to suppress her smirk.
"So Lady Plagg, it seems you've been defeated! I'll give you one chance to surrender! I suggest you take it." She ended her brief speech by pounding her fist into her hand, though she'd never actually make good on the threat. And Amy knew it.
She tried to suppress her own grin as well. "Blast and dam... damnation! You've beaten me this time Glory Girl, but don't think they'll be able to hold me forever!" She threw her hands up, and let Victoria grab hold of her.
"I'll take care of this one, Wards. You keep going and try to find Techno Queen."
"THE TECHNO QUEEN!" Lady Plagg corrected her. Victoria sighed as she hefted the villain into her arms.
"Sure, whatever. Now let's get out of here." She lifted off, and flew through a window that Amy pointed out to her. Below, a hidden door opened, and the Wards proceeded to their own adventure.
-
"So Ames, what the hell was all that about?" Victoria looked at her sister, who had bundled herself tightly in her cape to keep from freezing. This costume really didn't offer much in the way of warmth.
"I... that was more fun than I've ever had, Vicky. I haven't laughed like that in a long time." There was a wistful smile on Amy's face as she held on tight to her flying sister.
"You've never laughed like that, Amy. Heck, I haven't heard you laugh in a while, period." Victoria's grin turned down as she considered that. "You really enjoyed that, didn't you?"
"God, yes. I know I shouldn't have, but nobody was really hurt, and I wasn't really committing a crime, anyways."
"Hamming it up like that ought to be a crime." Glory Girl spared a finger to poke Amy's nose. Her sister scrunched her face, and with that half-mask the effect was adorable.
"Then you'd go to jail too. It was fun, wasn't it?" Her voice was almost hopeful.
"Yeah, I guess so. I still think 'carnipod' is a silly name, though."
"It's all I could think of!"
"You couldn't think of anything better than 'carnipod." Vicky deadpanned as they landed in a vacant lot so that Amy could change out of her alter-ego's costume.
"You try thinking up a name while you're trying to keep a straight face. I had to go over those lines like five times before I could say them without breaking down."
Victoria turned around as Amy signaled she was done changing. "So, is that the last the world will ever see of The Dark Lady Plagg?" She raised a hand to cover her smile, but Amy saw it in her eyes.
Rather than answering her question, Amy Dallon threw her head back, and laughed maniacally into the afternoon sky.