Alyss could not stay in the room with him any longer, and though it was still early in the evening, she retired to her chamber. Though he looked confused, he did not make any move to explain his reasons, and she was not in the mood to play games. Feeling her temper rise, she paced her room and wished that men weren't so complicated. Though she felt a little guilty for snapping at him, she was frustrated at the lack of answers. She had every right to be annoyed with him, and she was aware that her patience was wearing thin. She needed to know why Gisburne had saved her from losing her ancestral home, for she had to plan her future. She was already one of the older noblewomen who was not yet married, and her prospects at finding a husband who would be willing to take on such a small estate were very few. Of course, she knew what her heart wanted, and the last few months had proven that the feelings long since buried were still there. If anything, they had only grown, but she had not dared to let them surface. She had already dealt with enough heartache over the knight, and she was still grieving for the loss of her father. She knew she would break if she was rejected, and that was why she needed to know his real reasons for saving her. She had begged Osric to find out why Gisburne had been so generous, but her oldest friend had simply told her that it was for the knight to tell her.
Alyss sighed in frustration. She had been trying to find out the truth for ever since his arrival, but the knight had always changed the subject or simply explained that he had only kept his word. This was not enough of an answer for her though. She could sense that there was something he was keeping from her, and she needed to know his reasons before she risked everything. Of course, there were signs that he was still interested in her, for he always made time for her and was more than happy to help where needed. They often spent their evenings together, and Alyss had caught him staring at her more than once. Yet he had not done anything to prove that he still had feelings for her, other than giving her the manor. She was growing sick of waiting, and she could not put her future on hold while waiting for the knight to make the first move. Sitting on the end of her bed, she wished her parents were still alive. She so desperately needed their advice. Yet she was alone, and she was certain that no one in Nettleworth would ever understand why she wanted Gisburne to stay.
It was a clear and crisp winter morning when Alyss woke, and she felt a little guilty as she got up. She had not meant to snap at Sir Guy, and she knew that she would have very little time to apologise before the festivities began. She knew she deserved an answer, and she was determined to get one before the day was out. After all, she wished to know why he had not only given her Nettleworth but her freedom, and why he had not yet asked for anything in return. She still was not entirely sure why he had saved her from marrying Dunwich's son, or why he had protected the treaty when she had left Nottingham all those years ago. Of course, she had her suspicions, but nothing to confirm them. There had been the kiss, but that had been years ago now and Guy had not mentioned it since. Had he moved on? If so, then why was he still here in Nettleworth when he could be getting on with his life? Alyss was entirely confused, and she sighed as she put on her new gown. Today was not going to be the easiest of days either. Though it was normally the highlight of her year, this was the first time she would be spending Christmas without her family, and she felt an overwhelming pang of sorrow as it dawned on her. Yet she knew that her father would not want her to be sad, and so she blinked away a tear before wrapping a shawl around her shoulders and going in search of Gisburne.
Sir Guy yawned as he groomed Fury in the stables. He had been awake for hours, having not slept very well, and had eventually decided to get up. The village was quiet, and a blanket of mist covered the fields, making Nettleworth look almost magical as the sun rose in a clear sky. His mind had been racing ever since Alyss had snapped at him, and he was still no further forwards. He had been trying to work out what he had done to upset Alyss, and then spent the rest of the time working out how to tell her the truth. He was not sure that she would like to hear the real reason why he had rescued her, and he had no wish to risk their friendship. He had grown fond of Nettleworth and everything in it, and he truly had no wish to leave. Yet he knew he could not stay without telling Alyss the truth, and his courage was failing him. Though he had faced many battles, nothing compared to the fear he felt about admitting his feelings for this woman. Never had he felt so deeply or done so much for someone without expectations, and he knew he would be a broken man if she rejected him. He had no idea if she even cared for him more than as a friend, and yet… yet he had to know, which meant he had to talk with her. The thought of it terrified him, and for one moment he wished he was back in Nottingham where all he had to worry about was the Sheriff or the outlaws.
"I should apologise for last night." Gisburne sighed as he heard the voice. He was not ready to admit everything, and yet he knew that he would have very little chance to speak with her openly today.
"There is no need my lady. I am the one who should be apologising. I realise it must be rather confusing to have your lands handed to you by someone you do not trust." He said as he kept his back to her.
"I do trust you." She assured him as she stepped closer. "I just wish to know what I did to deserve such kindness."
"You believe I am not capable of such a thing?" He asked, a hint of hurt in his voice.
"I know that you are. I just…" Alyss hesitated, for she was not sure of what to say and very aware that people would be arriving soon. Yet she wanted to make things right before the celebrations began. "I'd like to know why you have invested so much time, money and effort towards me, when I have little to offer in return." She told him, and Guy frowned as he realised that this was probably what had been bothering her. How could she believe that she had nothing to offer when she was everything he had ever wanted?
"You really think so little of yourself?" He asked, while Alyss stared at her feet, for it was the truth. He turned to face her properly, and his heart sank as he realised that she truly believed that this was the case. He was determined to make her see otherwise. "My lady, you have much to offer. You have land and a home, and you are a very capable young noblewoman. I have met no other like you in all my travels." He pointed out as he gave Fury an apple, and then decided that it was time that she knew. "It is true that you have waited long enough for an answer, and I am only sorry that I did not tell you sooner. I ensured your freedom because I…" Alyss looked at him hopefully, her heart rising as she waited for the truth. He looked vulnerable yet earnest, which meant that he would be telling the truth, and she so desperately wished to hear it. Their eyes met, and for just one moment Alyss truly believed that the love he had once held for her was still there. She felt the urge to hold him close, just as they had done in Nottingham, but as she stepped closer….
"My lady! There you are! We were wondering where to put these." The moment was gone the instant that Mark appeared. Both nobles stepped apart from each other, and Alyss sighed before resuming her duties as Lady of the Manor. She shot an apologetic look at the knight, but he had turned back to his horse, and she wondered if she would ever know the truth.
By the time Guy returned inside, the manor was a hive of activity, and most of the village was in the hall. A couple of the women were directing the others as to where the food should go, while the men had brought in a variety of chairs, stools and benches for everyone to sit on. Someone was playing a tune on a wooden flute, while the children were admiring the decorations. Guy smiled, for it was certainly nothing like he was used to and yet it felt strangely familiar. A few of the villagers returned it, and he realised that not everyone here hated him. His work recently had not gone unnoticed, and it appeared that the people of Nettleworth were realising that he was not the tyrant they thought him to be. He did wonder if Alyss had said anything to them to change their opinions, but she had not mentioned it. He allowed himself a deep sigh as he thought of her. He needed to talk to her and explain everything, but she was nowhere to be seen. He was about to go in search of her, until Osric pointed out that she had gone to the churchyard. The knight decided it was best not to disturb her, and so he helped his friend set up for the festivities.
By the time Alyss returned half an hour later, everything was ready. She smiled widely as she entered the room, and everyone greeted her warmly as they took their seats. She took her place at the head of the table, before the cups were filled and silence fell among the villagers as Alyss stood up. It was customary for the Lord of the Manor to give a small speech at this feast, but this time it was her turn. She had no idea what to say really, but she knew what her father had usually included and she could hear his voice in her head as she spoke.
"Who knew that a year ago I would be standing here as Lady Nettleworth?" She began, feeling a little nervous as everyone looked at her. "There is much to be thankful for this year. Osric has returned safely home to us, our harvest was bountiful and we have three new members of our community." She began as she spotted the babies that had been born during the year. "We have also lost people. My father was a kind man, and I miss him dearly. Aelswith will also not be forgotten, for she was a source of wisdom and counsel when it was needed most." She hesitated, but Eleanor offered her a reassuring smile, and Alyss continued. "But through everything, we have stuck together. This is a time to celebrate with our loved ones, and I am glad that you are all here. I am sure you are all hungry, and this is truly a feast like I have not seen before. Therefore, let us raise a glass to those we have lost, and then celebrate our village and this year's achievements." There were cheers as everyone raised their glasses, and shortly after everyone started to tuck in.
Once most of the food was eaten, the chairs were hurriedly returned to their houses and the table was pushed out of the way. A few of the older residents began playing music on wooden flutes and a drum, while people danced in the room. The children were chasing each other around the inside of the house, and Alyss smiled sadly as she watched families laugh and joke with each other. She could only think of the last Christmas she had spent with her mother and brother many years ago, and she sighed deeply. The sorrow that came with the memory was overpowering, and she realised she could not hold back her tears, nor would it be long before someone noticed them. Needing some air, she slipped outside and found herself wandering to the small clearing that had always been her quiet place. The sound of the festivities echoed across the village, but she closed her eyes and tried to concentrate on the birdsong in the trees. A pair of robins were twittering nearby, and she smiled sadly before allowing herself to break. The tears fell in an endless stream, and she choked back sobs as she sank to her knees. Never had she felt so alone among her friends. How would any of them understand? Even she did not know how to even begin explaining how she felt. She was so lost, and so alone, and she truly had no idea what to do for the best. So many people were depending on her, and yet she had no wish to sacrifice her happiness for the village. They would never accept the knight as their lord, and that was even if he agreed to stay. He was probably going to leave in the Spring anyway, and that would leave her truly alone…
"My lady?" Alyss barely heard the voice as she sobbed and shivered in the cold. She dared not even look up at who was there, for she knew that she was not in a good state, though she was grateful at the warmth from the fabric they draped around her shoulders. The faded blue wool felt familiar and strangely soothing, and she clutched it tightly around her, hoping that it would protect her from the world.
"Are you hurt?" She shook her head, and the knight sighed as he could not bear to see Alyss so distraught. He had never seen her like this before, and he had no idea how to make things right. His heart broke at the sight, and though he knew it was not proper, he could not help it. He knelt in front of her, wrapped his arms around her, and held her close. Alyss did not resist, and she cried into his tunic as he whispered soothing words, promising that everything would be alright, all the while stroking her hair.
"I…" She began a few minutes later, once her tears had stopped. "I'm sorry."
"You have nothing to be sorry for." He assured her. "I know how hard this must be for you."
"I miss them terribly." She admitted, making no attempt to move. She felt safe and protected in his arms, and no longer so alone. She could hear his heart beat and it was strangely calming to her. "I have no idea what I'm doing, or if I can even run this village like my father did. I… I wish they were here so I could ask for their help, or advice, but… well, I have no one. My people do their best, but they have no experience in dealing with taxes or accounts or even how to manage such an amount of land… And I had no idea how much this would hurt. I… he didn't even get the funeral he deserved, and…" she rambled. "And I did not mean to take it out on you. I can barely sleep or think straight since he died, and this has been so stressful. I…"
"It's alright Alyss. These past few months have not been the easiest." He assured her as he held her closer, savouring the feeling of her in his arms. She was trembling as she spoke, and he wanted nothing more than to make her happy. "I am sorry if I have added to your distress. That was never my intention."
"I just… I don't know if I can do this. Not alone. I… I know you will probably wish to leave and find land of your own, and I cannot ask you to stay. I…These past few months have given me a taste of what could be if…" She hesitated as she looked downwards at her knees. "I'm sorry. I'm certain this is not what a lady is supposed to do." Gisburne chuckled softly.
"You never were one to follow the rules." He pointed out, and she gave a half-hearted laugh. "My lady, just say the word and I will stay. I have had no plans since I returned your home to you, and I… well, we have lost so much time…" The knight sighed, and Alyss was confused.
"You don't want to leave?" She asked, surprised.
"I never truly believed you when you talked about the tranquillity of your home, but this way of life is… I would rather like to retire from the soldiering life, and Nettleworth is lovely. I will not ask to stay in the manor for the rest of my time here, but if you will allow me to stay…" Alyss took in this information, then bowed her head.
"You may, on one condition." She said, the faintest hint of a smile on her lips. Neither of them noticed the first flakes of snow fall from the sky, nor did they care that it was getting colder, for all that mattered to them was each other.
"Name it." Guy stated.
"Why did you buy my lands and freedom from the king? I am the one who cost you everything, and yet…." Guy frowned, but knew that he could not refuse her. He took a deep breath, summoning his courage, and hoped that she would forgive him.
"I am a man of my word my lady. I promised you long ago that Nettleworth would always belong to your family, and I have only ever wished to protect you. That is why I kept your escape quiet, and why I rescued you that night and took the blame… I wanted you to be happy. I have felt so guilty about tearing you away from your home all those years ago, and I have wanted to make amends for all the suffering I have caused you." He admitted.
"That's not the only reason though, is it?" She prompted, sensing that he was keeping something from her. "This is not just chivalry. I know of no one who would go to such efforts for no reason. Surely you expect something in return."
"I expected nothing my lady." He assured her. "Had you wished me to, I would have left the day I arrived here and never returned." He meant that, though it would have pained him to do so.
"Why though?" She asked, desperate to know the truth of how he felt.
"Is it not obvious my lady?" He asked, meeting her gaze as he tenderly wiped away a tear from her cheek, his guard dropped. Alyss was a little shocked to see pure love and adoration in his eyes, and she was quiet for a moment as she took in this information.
"Then that settles it. Sir Guy of Gisburne, you may stay in Nettleworth Manor." She decided, and he breathed a sigh of relief, before frowning.
"I could not stay in your home. Not when you will surely be seeking a husband." Alyss smiled coyly, her mind made up now that she knew the truth, while the knight looked confused.
"I think I have already found him." She whispered quietly, wondering quite what she was about to do. It certainly had not been part of her plans for the day, but there was no time like the present, and she had never been so certain before in her life. She knew exactly how she felt for him, and the fact he had stayed with her told her all she needed to know.
"Who?" He asked, then it dawned on him. "Me?" It was scarcely a whisper.
"You are right. We have lost so much time already, and I don't want to lose another minute. My feelings have not changed since that day in Nottingham. I cannot promise to be a perfect wife, and I know we will have to wait until the Interdict ends, but…" Alyss paused as she summoned her courage, scarcely able to believe that she was about to do this. "Sir Guy of Gisburne, you gave me my freedom to choose a partner, and I believe I have made my decision. Will you stay here in Nettleworth with me, as my husband?"