All. I am so sorry for such a long lapse. I tried to make it up to everyone in this chapter. I do think...this might be the ending of this story. We'll see. I think this is a good place to stop it. Please let me know your thoughts.

Karigan wasn't sure which was worse: trying to run the Rider accounts without an accountant and being in charge of all the new riders or trying to keep up with the itineraries Ben kept giving her. She was inclined to blame Ben. At least with the Rider accounts she had free time, even if it was a small amount. Now… now she had to schedule her own free time. For herself. It was insanity.

She sighed and leaned her head back against the headrest. Life had been so hectic these past few months. While she was content to have a simple, quick ceremony and be done with it, tradition, she scoffed at the word, demanded a large, insane event planned to within the death of her. The moons needed to be in the right position. The stars. The bloody weather. She scoffed again. Irritated all over. In the last months, now that their courtship was official and announced, Karigan had seen Zachary a scant amount of times. Tonight, was one of the first nights both of them were able to schedule, again she snorted her derision, a dinner together. Ben had more control over both of their lives than either of them and she didn't know how Zachary tolerated it.

She missed him. Missed being near him. There was a pressure and a heat that never seemed to leave her anymore and it was only growing. She ground her teeth in frustration.

Cap- Colonel Mapstone knocked on Mara's office and let herself in right after. Karigan watched her with tired eyes, even as she was starting to jump with anticipation for dinner.

"Captain," Karigan said in greeting, cringing as she mixed her title up again. "I'll never get used to that."

Colonel Mapstone smiled gently and sat. "It's fine."

Karigan shoved the scattered remains of the payroll papers into a pile and waited.

"How are you?" Colonel Mapstone asked finally.

She tilted a shoulder in a shrug. "I am… tired. Very tired. Between the two roles, there is too much to do. The sooner we find someone to replace me the better. I'm afraid I might start missing things if this goes on for too much longer."

The Colonel was nodding. "But, how are you? I hear the priests may be closer to a date."

Karigan smiled, couldn't help herself. "I'll believe that when I see it. They can't ever seem to make up their minds or agree. But…" she sighed, "I am happy. The kingdom hasn't fallen down around us, the lords haven't revolted. My father has settled his hackles. I am happy."

"And are you ready to be a mother?" She asked so softly Karigan almost didn't hear the words.

She was quiet as she let that question roll around. She meant a stepmother, mother to the adorable blond babies. Karigan still wore her broach so she knew the colonel wasn't talking about bearing her own children. It was a situation that had been in the forefront of Karigan's mind a lot lately. She was still so conflicted about how to feel about that. They were adorable children and she knew she'd grow to love them over time. It would also take time for her to look past their mother's face looking back at her. It would take time for Karigan to ignore the pang of jealousy that they had Estora's eyes and golden hair and not hers; that she may never see Zachary's eyes and her hair in a child's face.

"I'm ready to explore that path. I won't lie and say I'm not nervous, or uncomfortable; that I won't need time to fully adjust to the situation. But I am ready to start. It's the closest I'm likely to get."

Mapstone nodded slowly, her eyes on the desk. "For that, I am sorry."

Karigan shrugged again. "Nothing you can do about that."

Colonel Mapstone hummed and nodded.

"Was there anything you need from me?"

"No," Mapstone shook her head as she stood. "I just wanted to check in on you. I promise Mara and I are working on finding someone to take over the Rider accounts, at least."

She chuckled. "Thanks."

"You should be leaving for dinner," Mapstone said as she opened the door.

Karigan raised an eyebrow at her. "How do you know about that?"

Colonel Mapstone snorted. "I get your and the king's schedule every day."

Karigan glowered at her. No control, she thought bitterly. I've lost all control over my life.

Mapstone chuckled darkly at Karigan's face. "You'll get used to it."

"Doubtful," Karigan muttered as she stood and pulled her short coat off the back of her chair.

Colonel Mapstone continued to chuckle as she walked down the hallway. Karigan ignored her laughs, and turned toward the king's apartments. She was looking forward to dinner, but was looking forward to spending quiet, alone time with him more. The few times they were together was in meetings where they could do nothing more than look longingly at each other or the barest of touches as hands meet with papers.

Her step quickened and soon she was walking through the royal apartments and into the small, private dinning room they often used. The door clicked shut softly behind her and Zachary looked up from his seat at the table. He smiled when he saw her, his eyes crinkling at the corners and he shoved the paper way as he stood.

Karigan walked purposefully toward him as he came around to stand in front of her. She reached for him as she neared and slipped her hands around the back of his neck. She pulled him down to her, a smile on her lips, as she reached up on her toes to meet him. He chuckled low in his throat as his lips crashed into hers. Zachary's hands slid around her waist and pulled her tight against him. She hummed, satisfied to finally be able to reach him, touch him, and deepened the kiss.

Tongues slid against tongues and hands started to roam. Up her ribs and slowly back down, not going nearly high enough for her. She groaned when his hands settled at her waist. He pulled back from her, breathless and flushed in his cheeks.

"Miss me?" He asked with a satisfied gin on his face.

She chuckled and rubbed her fingers in circles along his neck and up into his hair. "Well, since I have to make an appointment to even see you now…"

Knocking on the door made them jump apart as servants quickly entered the room and laid out food. Karigan avoided their faces, her own cheeks hot and lips swollen. They finally retreated and it was just the two of them again.

"We should eat," Zachary said softly.

Karigan sighed softly but moved to her seat. She'd rather resume their previous activity. Zachary chuckled at her sigh and gave her a look that said he was thinking the same thing. They ate quickly and quietly, content to just enjoy the ease of each other before moving to the small sitting area off to the side of the room. Karigan curled up under his arm as they watched the flames flicker. Zachary's hand lay curled around her hip and she wished he'd resume the wanderings from earlier, but he sat studiously still. She rolled her eyes with a soft smile. He would never move first, not before they married. She appreciated that, normally would appreciate that, but not tonight. Not now.

She pushed off of his chest and swung a leg over his waist, settling in his lap with a mischievous grin. He looked up at her, his hands already climbing up her ribs. She closed her eyes and tilted her head as his hands got dangerously close to where she'd wish he'd go. She leaned down and kissed him, her own hands returning to their favorite spot at the nape of his neck. Zachary broke away and just as she was about to protest, he ran his lips over her neck; kissing, sucking. She moaned, deep in her throat and his hands slid lower over the curve of her hips.

He gripped her bottom and pulled her roughly against him. A gasp broke through her lips at the firmness that met her. He claimed her mouth again, hands running over her thighs, up to her ribs and back. His fingers were firm in their wanderings, pressing and rubbing and gripping. He returned his hands to her bottom, gripping and roaming.

Her own hands left his neck and roamed over his chest. She found where he was sensitive and ran her deft fingers over his chest; the gasps and jerks he made guiding her. She was rocking against him, wishing for more and he was pulling her against him, his hands firm and hard. Her breath was coming in sharp gasps and Zachary was back to her neck. He nosed her collarbone, pushed at the edge of her collar.

She wanted more skin and jerkily pulled up the hem of his shirt, the normally soft linen scratchy against her skin. She ran her hands under the shirt, along his damp skin. Her fingers ghosted over his ribs and he jerked beneath her. She smiled at the reaction.

His hands gripped her hips again, his fingers digging into her flesh, and with a pained groan, pulled back from her lips. He stilled her hips, even as she ached to press more into the hardness beneath her.

Both of their breaths came too fast, too loud. Zachary buried his face in her neck, his breath hot on her already flushed skin. She buried her hands in his hair, dropped her face to the top of her head and tried to calm her frantic heart.

"We can't go further," Zachary's strained voice was muffled by her neck.

She groaned, brought nearly to tears, but nodded against his hair. "I know," she whispered.

"Not yet."

His hands relaxed from their grip on her hips and he encircled her, hugging her close to him. Karigan gently eased back from his waist and pressed her forehead to his.

"Sorry," she breathed.

He laughed, a low, throaty, sound and brought his hand up to hold her cheek. His fingers moved along her cheek bones until he was holding the back of her neck, his thumb rubbing along her jaw.

"I promised I wouldn't do anything to dishonor you."

It was Karigan's turn to laugh, a puff of breath, as she placed a hand on his chest and leaned back. "It wouldn't be dishonor."

"No," he agreed and held the hand on his chest. "But I would do this right. I would do this right by you."

She smiled a gentle smile, filled with all the love she had for this man. "Of course, you would say that now when I'm practically ready to undress you," she teased.

He chuckled, but it was a tight sound, filled with all the denied release she felt. Karigan leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on his lips before gently, slowly, moving to curl into his side again. Her skin was flushed, too hot, and there was an aching burn that would make sleeping difficult tonight, but she would behave. Zachary sighed and gently readjusted his trousers before settling his arm across her shoulders.

They sat in silence, both trying to slow their pulses and ignore the need still present in the room.

Zachary took a breath and Karigan looked up as he opened his mouth to speak.

"The priests have a date."

She smiled. "Thank the gods."