Hey! Umm…so I know that It's been a while. I know, I know, I should have updated sooner, but I didn't think anyone actually read this story or actually cared about it enough and if you don't, I won't blame you. My writing is a bit shitty. But then recently I realised that there are people who are genuinely interested in the story and want to know what will happen. So, I thought, that someday, after I will complete this story, I will revise the previous chapters. But for now, I have to keep writing for my readers.

And I thank patriciayoussef1512 for this revelation. Because I didn't think anyone cared enough for this story to PM me. Thank you to this person and to everyone else.

Hope you will enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of its characters. They belong to Stephanie Meyer.

Frozen with Warmth Chapter 12: Ice-Cold

In the years to come, this incident will cross my mind several times, on some days non-stop while on some like a fleeting thought. It doesn't matter how often but every time my body will clench with the same fear as it did today. They say you get better; you start to forget about it and you start to move on, and you do. Even though it doesn't feel like it at the moment but you do. But they always say that the wound will heal too, what they don't guarantee is whether it's scar will fade or not. You know what the best thing about scar is? It doesn't matter how long it has been, every single time you touch it, you will remember the moment but not the pain.

However, pain makes you stronger. I never believed that statement. I never understood it, how can pain make anyone stronger? Until that day, sitting under that tree, it made me feel something which my mind has forgotten to feel for so long that the feeling itself felt foreign and rusty. Fear. No, not like any fear I have felt in what seems like forever, but fear for myself, and solely for myself. At that moment, nothing else mattered, not Edward, not Renesmee, not the Cullens, no one. What mattered the most to me was me. That I was safe, safe and as far away from clutches of that bastard as possible. But soon I realised that this was most probably not possible anytime soon. And as soon as that feeling resurfaced, it was relentlessly drown back into the ocean of my mind by my self-doubt and sorrow.

How I got myself to get up and compose my body, I would never know. I took a deep breath. Vampire or not, I needed it. And I started running in the same direction I came from.

As soon as I entered the house, everything was just the way it was before I left. I looked around to see everyone going on with their life as if mine wasn't just turned upside down. I began to head towards my room. Catherine was right, I didn't need to have an alibi for nobody even noticed. Nobody noticed that I wasn't just walking, I was using all the energy in my body and my mind just to put one foot in front of the other. But their lack of interest didn't bother me, partly because I was used to it and partly because it just didn't matter to me anymore.

I went to my room and sat on the couch. Soon after, Edward joined me. I watched him. He was happy. There were bounce to his steps and he was happily humming. I willed myself to stop, I promise I did, but the words came pouring out of my mouth.

"Edward." I whispered. The sound was so low that had he just went on doing what he was and ignored it, I wouldn't have blamed him. But he heard, I know he did, for his shoulders even though quite imperceptibly, tensed. He didn't turn around though, to face me.

"Edward, I know you heard me.", I continued, a bit louder this time.

"Yes, I did, Bella.", he said, turning around, irritation clearly visible in his eyes, "What do you want?"

See, Bella? He doesn't care what happens to you. He doesn't deserve to see you vulnerable.

"I need to tell you something. Something important."

"Well, go ahead and tell me. I don't have all day", he replied. Please stop. He won't believe you, don't waste your time on him.

"I was in the forest, hunting, when Jade came to see me", I said, somewhat hesitantly, "he…he touched me Edward." My body sagged, saying it out loud made it more real and scarier. I looked up to see his reaction and he looked confused.

"Touched you? What do you mean touched you?" He asked.

"He groped me, Edward. Touched me basically everywhere even though I told him to stop." I explained. He's listening. He will believe me. He will take care of this mess for me.

Edward looked at loss of words for a moment, and then said, "You mean to tell me, that he tried to rape you?" My body clenched at his words. All the memories came crashing down on me.

"…Yes." I breathed out. I lowered my eyes. I could feel them watering. It felt as if someone was draining all the energy out from my body. At least, he believes me. If nothing else, at least I am not alone in this. Suddenly, I heard a sound and looked up. I found him smirking at me. He scoffed again.

"Oh Bella, of all the things you have ever done to get my attention, this is by far the most ridiculous." He said, laughing. He's laughing about it!? He doesn't believe me. I told you didn't I.

No, this couldn't be happening. He will believe me. He needs to believe me. Bella, please stop. He won't. He never has and he never will.

Ignoring the voice inside me, I continued, "Edward you don't get it. I am not making this up. He did try to…", my voice broke, "rape me."

It was as if my words fell to deaf ears, "Yeah, yeah, Bella. I believe you. He tried to rape you, because he finds you so charming and irresistible that cannot stop himself." He said, "Tell you what, the next time he does something like this, you let him. At least this way you are going to get some."

It was as if someone slapped me hard on my face. All the air left my lungs as I stood frozen on my ground. His words continued to ring in my ears long after he left me.

Let him. What would have happened if I had just let him? At least this way you are going to get some. How far would he have gone? Would I be able to stop him? The next time he does something like this, you let him. My mind repeated his words like a mantra. I began remembering him touching me. I remembered the way his hands felt as he gripped my body. It felt wrong. It felt dirty. My skin felt dirty. I felt helpless as he clutched my clothes and ripped them off. I tried to fight him, but it didn't stop him. He continued to do as he willed with me. No, stop. This isn't what happened. This was not the truth. My mind was making its own reality. It was changing the truth, but I won't let it. It was as if a storm was wrecking through my thoughts. I couldn't comprehend what was real and what was not. The chaos was so huge, that my body couldn't possibly show it through action, so it went still. I felt someone clutching me and forcing me into the ice-cold water. It was holding my head in, every time I tried to breathe, the water gushed in. I couldn't breathe, couldn't let the air in. It was suffocating. I tried to fight it but the force was too strong. Cold. Cold all around me. Water surrounding me.

I want to breathe. Please, someone just let me breath. Just one breath, please. I opened my mouth, but the water entered my lungs. I could feel it filling it. Water where air should be. Please, someone, anyone. But no one listened. The force was too strong for me. It kept my head inside the water. And I cannot overcome it. My desire to breathe wasn't strong enough. I wasn't strong enough. And I lost.

Suddenly, I don't know from where, a hand came out and I grabbed it. I grabbed it as if my life depended on it, because it did. The current was too strong, and it tried to push me back, but I am not going to let go of this hand. I want to survive this. I will survive this. I grabbed the hand even more tightly and pulled myself up. I gasped as my head broke through the surface.

I could hear myself breathing hard. I filled the air in my lungs and relished in the sensation. As soon as my mind calmed, I looked around and realised that I was on the floor.

I took a deep breath again and willed myself to get up. Still breathing heavily, I walked out into the balcony. It was eerily quiet. I looked around and watched.

It wasn't quiet, I noticed. It was just as it always was. The world around me didn't stop, just because the world inside me did. The wind didn't stop blowing. The leaves didn't stop rustling. I watched as the realisation took place inside me. I watched the squirrels move up and down the tree and the birds flying around. I smiled. It was peaceful. It was heavenly.

It doesn't matter what happened to me. The life around me didn't stop…so, why should I?

Hey, my dear readers. Hope you liked this chapter. This particular one was quite hard to write. But I sincerely hope that I did justice to my character and the feelings and thoughts which ran through her mind. Please review and tell me what you think about it.

-Love Anu