authorsnote: don't be mad yo gurl for being hella late, this story is hard (apologies tho).
please enjoy, this story is now kinda into the next phase I guess you'd say? you'll see.
let me know your thoughts, fav/follow for updates but most importantly enjoy!
songrecommendations: palladium - kacy hill
The godswood here was nice, but it made her think of home.
On the walk to the place of prayer, she'd managed to forget. She'd smelled the sweet air, touched the soft petals of the flowers, smiled at Willas as he leaned down to slip a pretty white rose behind her ear, it was nice, this place was beautiful.
She felt safe here, among the flowers, among the beauty, but as soon as she arrived at the godswood she felt that pang again.
This wasn't home.
She managed to keep her expression neutral, with a polite smile on her features, she didn't want to seem ungrateful. Highgarden was far and away from Kings Landing and better in every possible way, but alas it was not Winterfell, it was not the North.
She remembered when she was a girl, when she was so desperate to leave home, to come South. 'Stupid girl, with stupid dreams that never learns'. She had been stupid, and now she was paying the price for that mistake.
"What do you think?" Willas's words broke her from her thoughts, and she turned to look back over the godswood of Highgarden.
She had read about this godswood, the intertwined weirwoods they called the Three Singers. Three weirwood trees, so gnarled and twined together they now looked like one weirwood, so large and tall. She could see some statues around the godswood, cherubs and a pretty fountain or two, as well as the never-ending flowers that surrounded her.
It was beautiful, truly. For a minute she managed to forget about Winterfell, and simply basked in the beauty of this place of worship, of this truly wonderful place.
A minute or so it lasted, but then of course thoughts of Winterfell came.
She thought of the godswood there, with the weirwood tree so large it even dwarfed the Three Singers. She thought of the crunch of snow on the ground, of the small pond next to the giant weirwood, but it was more than that.
She thought of her Father, sharpening ice under the red leaves. She thought of Robb and Jon, side by side as they prayed. She thought of Bran and Arya, chasing one another under the branches, her Mother looking on fondly. She thought of little Rickon, trying to dive into the little pond, only for Theon to catch him with a laugh.
She thought of home.
It was all she thought of nowadays, and though she loved Highgarden, and cared for Willas, it didn't budge the homesickness, or the desire she had to return to the North.
She wondered if that would ever go, if she would ever stop feeling the need to go back North, to return to Winterfell, to return home. She wasn't sure, but part of her hoped to, so this incessant need to flee North left her. It was too painful, knowing she'd never be allowed to return there.
Well… she hoped to visit again one day, but she knew she'd never live there again. She was Willas's wife now, and he was to be Lord of Highgarden, her days living in the North were long gone.
She turned then, realising Willas was waiting for her, and she smiled, it was a little strained, but not fake, for this godswood was truly beautiful, "It is beautiful" It was true, it was, and as she stepped closer to the face of the weirwood her smile turned more genuine.
Before coming South she'd been devout to the Seven, now her faith was with her Father's gods, with the Old Gods. She could almost feel them here, and as she placed a hand to the weirwood she let out a small calming sigh, here she felt connected, and it felt right.
"You truly believe?" Willas asked, his tone was a mixture of surprise and something else … disbelief?
"Of course," Sansa replied, for she did. She had prayed to the Seven every day to rescue her and nothing had come, but after praying to the Old God's Willas had come to her. How could she not believe? "You don't?" She already knew the answer from his expression, but she asked all the same.
"Not quite" He said tactfully, and Sansa found herself laughing a little.
"Not devout to the Seven as the commoners are?" She asked with a teasing grin and Willas rolled his eyes, laughing a little too.
"Why of course" He mocked, and she giggled again before moving her hand away from the face, before carefully going to her knees.
She only took a few seconds to pray (in her mind, not out loud), for her usual list, for her family, for her Father's peaceful rest, her Mother's wellbeing, her brother's – Robb, Bran, Rickon, Jon', for their happiness. For Arya's safety. For the health of the servants of Winterfell. She prayed a little to Tyrion in King's Landing, that he not be wronged by his family, and she prayed for Margaery to find a good husband, for Leonette and Garlan to have a healthy baby, to Olenna to continue to enjoy old age, and then to Willas, her husband, for him to be happy.
She paused near the end of her prayer … usually she would pray to leave, to escape. Here she changed it a little bit – I pray to be happy in Highgarden, but to see the North again soon. Satisfied, she smiled to herself and stood, where Willas held out his arm to her, and she took it with a smile.
"Thank you for showing me that" She spoke as they began to walk through the flowering bushes again, her hand clutching his arm, "Truly"
Willas paused then, and turned to look down at her, "You know I would do anything to make you happy Sansa?" He phrased it as a question, and Sansa smiled.
She may miss the North, but she had been truly fortunate in marrying Willas, that she knew.
"Of course," She said with a smile, and he leaned forward to place a gentle kiss to her lips, which she leaned into with a happy little sigh.
As they walked back to the Keep, chatting about Highgarden she hoped she could be happy here, truly.
He'd been expecting it since they arrived, a summons to a private meeting. It came in the form of a hurried messenger who 'requests his presence' with his Grandmother. Of course, the messenger also passed on that Lady Tianna of House Caswell and her sister Lady Jenna had requested Sansa's presence for a walk and some sewing as well. Willas would be impressed about how his Grandmother had ensured his new wife would be busy during essential Tyrell business if he didn't feel slightly guilty for excluding her.
The guilt is worsened when Sansa apologies to him that she won't be able to join them, and then hurries off with a kiss on the cheek and her sewing bag to join the Ladies of Bitterbridge. He shouldn't be feeling guilty, his Grandmother had taught him that guilt was a weakness, to hold one back from their true purpose … but then her wise words can't make the feeling of guilt go away.
Still, he joins his Grandmother, sat with Margaery and Garlan even (he was not surprised his Father was not present, he's often excluded from family strategy meetings), and he forces the guilt to the back of his mind, he needs to focus, not feel bad that Sansa isn't included in their plans. The own Lord of Highgarden isn't for goodness sake! And he knows technically Sansa cannot be trusted yet.
Yes, he trusts her, she doesn't have a bad bone in her body, she is kind and loyal but she can't be trusted at the moment. What if she does run back to her brother? Or she's kidnapped? They can't risk vital information being pried from her; thus, she is excluded…for now.
"Right" As soon as his Grandmother starts the meeting, he is able to ignore the guilt, reach for some wine, and focus on the matter at hand.
He has always been good at that, shutting out his emotions to focus and get the task at hand done. It isn't something many are good at, most are ruled by emotion, but he can. Ever since his Grandmother had impressed on him the importance of who he'd become, the positon he'd take, and what came with that, he remembered her words on the matter quite clearly.
'One day Willas you'll be a Lord, you'll rule all of Highgarden and perhaps more, you need to be focused, you need to be ruthless, and most importantly you need to be pragmatic' She reached for a fig then, and passed him an apple, bouncing him on her knee, only a boy of 10 as she continued, 'Do not be clouded nor ruled by emotion, you must put the family first, before any of that nonsense' Then they ate their fruit, and the words ran through the mind of the boy who would one day become Lord Paramount.
'Focused, ruthless, pragmatic'
She was right, to bring the family to new heights he had to be logical, he couldn't be ruled by what he wanted or felt, he had to be governed by what was best for the family. Garlen had once joked their words should be that of Sansa's Mother's house, 'Family, Duty, Honour', though perhaps their words would change slightly to 'Family, Power, Money', that was more fitting for the Tyrell's.
And so, as his Grandmother began to speak, he managed to push his guilt that Sansa was excluded away and focus on the matter at hand.
"I have received word from Robb Stark" He near rolled his eyes as Margaery grinned, he knew his sister still desperately wanted to be Queen, though they had to be wary, from what he'd heard of the Young Wolf he'd be harder to tame than the Baratheon's. He had every faith in Margaery, but they would need to realise Robb Stark was a different ally than the bastards in Kings Landing.
"He marches North to retake his home, once he has done so he has agreed to meet us at White Harbour" Olenna nodded, and reached for a fruit, oddly today Willas's appetite for food was away from him, "We will sail around so not to pass Casterly Rock and meet the King in the North there, as soon as we have word he has retaken Winterfell we will set sail to discuss a potential alliance"
Again, Margaery was smiling, and he indicated for her to ask the first question which she grinned and nodded, "Who will be going?"
His Grandmother smiled then, patted his sisters hand, "You my dear, so to ensnare this Young Wolf, I will attend, Loras too to stop the boy sulking, Garlan you'll remain here since Leonette is about to pop and then Willas" She said, "You can represent your Father"
He nodded then but paused for a moment as he processed who had been left off of that list. Remain detached he must, and yet he had to enquire, for he could feel his emotionless state shifting slightly.
He would acknowledge that Sansa had already began to change something in him. Whereas once he had cared for no one but his family, now he cared for her, he was sure in short time he would love her.
She was beautiful, charming, kind, sweet, even funny, and she had something about her, a glow that lit up a room in a way his sister couldn't even manage, nor any other Lady he had seen. She was a gem, and he intended to protect her like the biggest diamond in the country, he cared for her, deeply, and that would shift a man's way of acting.
Before he had only thought of family, what to do to advance the family cause, what to do to make Margaery Queen, to grab power for them, but now? Now he thought of Sansa, of ensuring her safety, of ensuring she was happy. It changed things a little, so far, he had just been a little distracted from his duties but still been on top of everything but now? Now was a clear case of what was best for the family differing from what was best for his wife.
So, who did he choose?
"What about Sansa?" He caught his Grandmother's glare then, ahh she'd expected he might ask but hoped he wouldn't. Once he'd have shivered under that glare, but he along with Margaery were the only two people who could give a hard look back and not get berated. Still this time she did.
"No" She said with a shake of her head, and he rolled his eyes.
"How illuminating" Ahh sarcasm, he knew that was one of his Grandmother's principle hates, the big sword were out already "Thank you so much Grandmother for explaining in detail the problem here, most enlightening, really"
"Don't use that tone with me boy" She always called him boy when annoyed with him, which was rare, but evidently still happened. "You know for well why Sansa cannot attend with us; it would be foolish beyond degree"
"I have to agree" He wasn't surprised that Margaery chimed in on the side of their Grandmother, she was usually 50/50 between them both but he knew this time she didn't want to jeopardise anything when it came to being Queen, no matter how she cared for Sansa.
"So, your little sister agrees" Olenna glared, "And yet the future Lord and acting Lord of Highgarden can't seem to grasp what his younger sibling has"
"You know I grasp it" He shot back, "I just don't agree, the Young Wolf will want to see his sister safe before he even considers an alliance, if we refuse to bring her I imagine he'll send us home packing without a word"
"He needs us" She shot back.
"No" Willas shook his head then, there was zero point appealing to the Matriarch of the Tyrell family with the emotional argument that Sansa deserved to see her family again, no, he had to go for logic. He knew if he was the one arguing against it, he'd only listen to practicalities, not emotional arguments.
It was how his Grandmother had raised him, but for now, now he was going against that. For Sansa.
He supposed in this instance he had chosen.
"He wants his sister to be safe, he wants to kill the Lannister's, he does not want the Iron Throne or need our help to take the North" He reached for a lemon rind then, his appetite coming back, "But if we want to eventually get him on the Iron Throne, bringing his beloved sister to the first meeting is a good way to start"
The table fell silent then, he could see he'd already convinced Margaery and Garlan, his Grandmother perhaps a little too, though she had her last argument to play.
"And if Robb Stark stares us down, grabs her and leaves?" She said coldly, "If Sansa runs to his side, he forces us home and keeps his sister, your wife?" Olenna shook her head, "What then?"
"That won't happen" A lie, he was in no way confident that it wouldn't happen, but he couldn't say that now, his Grandmother would never allow Sansa to come if he admitted that.
"No?" She scoffed then, "I know you've gone soft for the girl and she is clearly head over heels for you already Willas but it is plain as day the girl would rather be home" Olenna shook her head, "We'd all feel the same I'm sure, your new romance won't keep her here"
"She said vows" Garlan chipped in then, he often just sat silent in family meetings unless military matters were raised, "The northerners are loyal and honourable, she would not break her vows"
"Yes, the northerners are" His Grandmother nodded, "But Sansa Tyrell is a southerner now and has spent the last years in Kings Landing, she is less northerner than the Stark's of Winterfell now"
"She is still a Lady of honour" Willas said then, his tone a fraction colder, let no one suggest his wife was not an honourable woman, not even his own family, he wouldn't take that. "She is attending with us Grandmother; I will not hear anything else"
"You fool" She said with a shake of her head, "I love you my boy, but do not let this girl distract you from our path" She said, "I raised you better than that"
"I know you did" His tone was a touch softer then, "But my answer remains"
Silence again until the Tyrell Matriarch nodded, rarely was she defeated, but here she was. "You'll deal with the inevitable fallout" He nodded now rather than argued it and sat back quiet as Garlan began to discuss the troops following the leave from the Capitol. He felt Margaery's hand on his and she gave it a squeeze before turning to her other brother.
He had made the right choice. He had stood up for his wife. He had made the right choice.
Hadn't he?
The week following her arrival at Highgarden was one of the busiest she could remember ever having. It seemed like everyday something new was happening.
Willas was busy, running the Reach after all, and though he tried to make time for her during the day he was often in meetings, going through correspondence and doing everything else that went into running Highgarden and the Reach. She wasn't sure if he had arranged people to spend time with her or if they took it upon themselves, but she found herself very busy.
The first day after arriving (and the day of arrival had been lovely, she had slept soundly through the night for the first time in months, content and safe in her new home, in Highgarden), Leonette had insisted she sit with her for a few hours as she had been put on a strict rest policy due to her pregnancy.
They spent hours sewing, and Leonette imparted lots of wisdom on the local Ladies. Gossip mixed with important information, bits like Lady Talla of House Tarly is extremely sweet but very shy, so if you meet with her you'll need to do most of the talking at first, and, Lady Sara of House Mullendore is deathly allergic to blackberries, so don't offer her any!. Leonette was also able to offer some information on the servants of Highgarden too, Sansa realised Garlans wife was a wealth of information, and was happy to keep her company well through the morning and afternoon.
The next day Alerie offered to show her around the main level of the Castle, with the ballrooms, kitchens, dining rooms and such. Alerie was such a warm presence Sansa immediately felt at ease with her goodmother, and Alerie had plenty of wisdom about the running of Highgarden to offer. It was odd for Sansa to think at some point she would be in Alerie's position.
The day after Loras offered to show her around the main courtyard and was as charming as ever. However, the shine Sansa had considered him with had faded now she adored Willas, and it was easier to talk to him. They chatted away, and it seemed now her (tiny) crush had been squashed they found it much easier to chat to one another.
The next day Willas managed to steal a lunch with her before delivering her to the Maester for an overview of families of the Reach. Always a quick study Sansa got on well and the Maesters praise turned her cheeks pink.
The next day Olenna insisted they lunch together and spent most of the time making cutting comments about the families of the Reach she had been quizzed on the day before. They ate fruit together, and then Sansa spent the afternoon sewing with some of the minor Tyrell cousins, all of whom were sweet and kind to her, flattering and clearly trying to win favour.
It was on her 6th day in Highgarden did she wake, take breakfast with Willas (before he hurried off, busy as always), and settle down did she realise she might be in for a quiet day. She didn't mind it; she was used to them after King's Landing after all. Did she prefer people's company? Yes, but a day on her own wouldn't be so bad.
Just as she was fishing out her embroidering materials from the trunk at the end of the bed did a knock on the door and the presence of Margaery show she was not destined for a day of solitude, but rather a day with one of her closest, if not closest friend.
"Come Sansa" Margaery said with a delighted smile, holding her hand out to her goodsister now, which Sansa took with a smile, and the bubbly brunette soon swept her out of the door, out of the Castle and to the market.
On the way there Margaery chattered about all manner of things and it was clear as crystal she was happy to be back home. Sansa also noticed a shift in her behaviour, there was less of a calculation behind her eyes, less of a front put on, she seemed younger, more free, and Sansa found herself smiling just as wide as her best friend, as they hurried into the main town of Highgarden.
They stopped to talk to children, chatted away with some of the Ladies visiting the town, and stopped to buy pies from carts and drinks from front houses. Sansa picked up a bottle of lemon wine she felt Willas might like and Margaery grabbed a dark ale she thought Loras would be partial too. The sun shone down on them; it was truly delightful.
They flitted from stall to stall, Margaery keeping up a constant stream of chatter on who was who, what was what and where was where. Sansa mainly listened but her smile did not fade. Margaery was a wonderful presence to be around to forget homesickness and as they stopped at a fabric store, she had almost forgotten her melancholy.
"Please Sansa" Margaery said with a smile as she picked up a deep green silk, "Pick up some fabric for a new dress, the homecoming ball is next week and you must have a new dress" Sansa nodded then, and stepped up to the wall as Margaery began to talk to the shopkeep about the green silk.
Sansa saw pink fabrics, blue fabrics, purple tulle, yellow cotton, the same green silk Margaery was eyeing, but nothing stood out to her. She was wearing gold and green now actually, and as much as she loved the colours she missed grey a little, or perhaps blue.
One week in Highgarden would not cure her homesickness, even with Margaery's presence, she wasn't sure when that would ever go away.
She let out a sigh, ready to turn to her new sister and decline anything new, until a glimmer caught her eye.
She walked forward and a gasp left her lips as she saw a fabric tucked away behind the more obvious colours, she pulled it out, and she knew instantly she had to have it.
It was a beautiful grey silk, glimmering slightly in the light but not ostentatiously. It was of high quality and there was easily enough for an entire dress. She knew with some diamonds sewn in and perhaps a running direwolf on the skirts it would be perfect.
It had been so long since she had been able to wear a direwolf openly (bar her wedding when it had been removed), tears nearly came to her as she thought of wearing it again, her family sigil, proudly, not as traitors, but as her family sigil, proud.
"It's perfect" She heard Margaery behind her and turned to see her smile, though there was a flash of worry in her goodsisters eyes before she reached for the fabric too, "We'll take this and the green silk, please have them sent to the keep" The shopkeep nodded and gave them a deep bow, and then Margaery was insisting they must head back for lunch.
Sansa didn't get a chance to ask about the flash of worry as Margaery began talking about the ball and they were joined by all of the Tyrell cousins for lunch, and as lunch went on and they talked about dresses and the ball and the welcoming home she managed to forget, thought he next day she'd realise just why there had been worry that Sansa might be reconnecting with her Stark roots.
sooo thoughts?
drama in the tyrell household! I'm just saying willas took sansa's side this time, might not always be that way! this story has lots of fluff but to balance it out has a lot of angst too, the honeymoon period won't last forever, that's all I'm saying!
anywho, I hope you enjoyed, please review and let me know if you did, follow/fav for updates.
speak soon