Henlo Peeps.

It's been a couple of days... And I'm afraid my writing schedule will take a hit these next few weeks.

Life has set in and I need to get some stuff done that will take away my ability to write as much as I want to.
Annoyingly too at that. Even if everything gets sorted out my ability to write will still take a major hit.

Still, even with the slower uploads that doesn't mean I'll stop writing.

Again thanks a lot to VonPelt for helping me with this chapter.

Enjoy
Waske
XxX

Chapter 15

Christmas Morning

Long past midnight, Harry collapsed into his bed and almost immediately passed out. For almost a week, he had done nothing but demolishing the training room below Grimmauld Place under the pretense of practicing magic. He had barely eaten and whenever he closed his eyes, he was either tormented by the memory of his teeth in Mr Weasley's flesh or taunted by the door.

When awake, the hollow stares of the Longbottoms kept him from finding peace, the pathetic pride Neville found from the paper wrappers stuck in his mind. As pretensions as it sounded, Harry knew that it would come down to him, as it always had. Back in the 80s, his mother had been the one to stop Voldemort while older and wiser witches and wizards had failed to do anything. And during his time at Hogwarts, he had been alone while facing Voldemort.

With each spell he threw against the armoured walls, each magical blast came with the knowledge that he would have to be the one who needed to do something, anything really, to keep the others safe. To stop them from becoming the next Longbottoms. That burden kept him slinging spells long past the point where his legs felt like giving out, only relenting when he could no longer keep his wand steady.

Far too soon, Harry groaned loudly, his body felt stiff and sore from the physical exercises he had pushed himself through. He opened his eyes finding his room dark and cold. He rubbed his eyes trying to figure out what had awoken him. He had finally had a good night's sleep. No nightmares, no anything. He heard the knock on the door again. That was it.

"Wake up! It's Christmas morning. Breakfast is ready."

Harry grabbed his pillow and buried his head under it. Couldn't they just leave him alone? It wasn't like he hadn't already placed the presents with the rest of them in the lounge. He didn't care for it. He had remembered to send off Jacque's present with a letter last night. There was no reason to wake him up for this in his mind. He heard the door open and a set of angry footsteps stomping through his room. He shivered when the cold air hit his skin as the covers were pulled off of him.

"Fuck off, Ron."

"Not Ron."

"Fuck off someone then. I'm sleeping."

"It's Christmas, Han-Harry."

"Tonks?"

"Right in… I guess three. Come on. Get your butt to the shower. Breakfast is ready."

"Don't want to."

"Stop being obstinate."

"I don't care about Christmas… Okay?"

"Who doesn't care about Christmas?"

"This one. Now go?"

"Not happening. You're coming with me."

Harry yelped when he felt Tonks reach down and sling him over her shoulders. He tried to fight it but her arms pincered his legs to one side and his arms to the other. Her shoulder digging into his bladder.

"Put me down," Harry growled.

"Or what?"

"Or I'll relieve myself on you, you goddamn brute."

"Fine," Tonks huffed, lowering him to the floor. "As long as you don't head back to bed."

Harry debated with himself whether he should punch her or something. Someone might have taught him that you shouldn't punch a woman but Tonks had just carried him over her shoulders, so it's not like she was some frail maiden.. She had been teaching him how to fight without a wand in his hand. Where to hit and how to take a hit. She didn't count, right?

"It's not like I can sleep after that."

"Now there's a good boy," Tonks said in the same way someone would to a dog.

"Oi! I'm not Sirius."

Tonks snorted. Harry grabbed a set of clothes from his dresser and made sure to bump harshly into her shoulder when he passed her on his way to the bathroom. He was pissed at her for waking him up. He was even more annoyed with himself that he enjoyed being around her like that. He still hadn't heard from Jacque, since he had sent his letter. Hopefully, he would get a reply with a Christmas present today.

He turned on the shower and adjusted the temperature higher than he usually would. Harry felt an ice cold chill in the depth of his bones. He needed to feel warm. He drew in his breath sharply when the temperature finally rose beyond what was comfortable. He just stood under the spray gasping as the burning water hit his skin. He didn't think of reaching out for the cold faucet, somehow the pain made him more awake. Harry stepped out of the shower and spotted the red tint that suggested he might have pushed it a little. He winced whenever the material of his clothes brushed against his sore skin. He had definitely overdone it on the water.

He tried to take a brush to his hair. He needed another haircut. It had grown long and frustrating. His bangs falling into his eyes. He tried to pull it back but it just bounced to the front again, that damned Potter hair. He angrily tried to at least get it out of his face before walking out of the bathroom.

"Tonks, what are you doing here?"

"Waiting for you of course. What took you so long?"

"I was having a shower," Harry said curtly, walking past her.

Harry winced when he felt her hand on his shoulder. He pulled himself away without even looking at her. He didn't turn around when she whispered something. He didn't even turn around to explain that it wasn't her touch but just that his skin was sore from the scalding.

He planted his best smile on his face and walked into the kitchen. He even kept himself from showing any outside sign of pain when Fred and George slapped his shoulders. Their Christmas spirit was infectious. Sirius looked like he was in a better mood than he had even been during the summer, badly singing Christmas carols throughout the house. Ron was teetering on jumping at the pile of presents under the tree. Hermione and Ginny were talking animatedly by themselves and Mrs. Weasley was pandering to Mr. Weasley's needs. It looked… peaceful. Like everything around them was just a nightmare that had passed.

It felt… fake.

Harry grabbed himself a bowl of porridge. He was certain he wouldn't be able to taste anything this morning. The anger that had been simmering under his skin was threatening to blow up. Why didn't anyone realize the pressure he was under? He felt like his head was about to explode. He idly stirred the porridge with a spoon, picking up a mouthful at irregular intervals. He felt more than saw someone sitting down next to him. He didn't look up. Porridge… what an absolutely unappetizing thing to eat.

"... Harry?"

Harry looked up. He was confused for a moment. He couldn't put a name to the face next to him. Mousy brown hair and large dark bags under the eyes. If it wasn't for the icy blue colour of her eyes, he would have had no clue.

"Tonks?"

"Who else, you prick?"

"Sorry," Harry mumbled, turning his eyes back to the bowl in front of him.

"What has gotten you so wound up?"

"This." Harry pointed his spoon around the spoon inconspicuously. "All this."

"What are you talking about?"

"What's with the hair colour?"

"I asked a question first."

"It's like a dream… like they aren't even thinking about…"

"They deserve the break from everything. No, they need a break from everything that is going on… Look, Sirius hasn't been this happy since before Azkaban. The twins are up to their no-good shenanigans. Ron looks about ready to rip up the paper on those gifts."

"Do you need a break?"

"I thought I did. I don't know anymore. Things haven't really worked out the way I hoped."

Harry was just about to open his mouth when Hedwig flew into the kitchen dropping a package in Tonks's lap before flying to Harry's shoulder. His attention was firmly taken up by her. He heard the rustling of a pushed out chair and he saw Tonks leaving the kitchen. Her hair had changed back to pink. That was good. Must have been something important, something that made Tonks happy to receive. It certainly had lifted her mood if her hair was any indication.

"What did you bring her, girl?" Harry scratched Hedwig's chest.

"Hoot."

"Come on, girl. You know you can tell me."

"Hoot hoot."

"I know it's Christmas. Fine. You're right. Did you get it to him?"

Harry got a peck in response. He looked reproachfully at his owl. She looked about ready to peck him again.

"Alright, alright. Stupid question. I get it. You got something for me? A reply or a gift or something?"

Hedwig shook her head. Harry's shoulder slumped a little. He supposed he had gotten his hopes up for nothing. He took his half-eaten bowl of porridge and moved to the small mountain of bacon sitting next to the stove. He alternatively fed himself and Hedwig a rasher each until Hedwig begged off. As much as Hedwig liked bacon, she still didn't have the stomach of a human. Harry finished off his bowl of porridge more out of habit than actual need. He supposed growing up with the Dursleys had taught him that, probably the best thing they had ever taught him, he thought darkly to himself. The ability to eat food whenever he had access to it.

Harry cleaned off his bowl in the sink. He felt a certain comfort having Hedwig on his shoulder. He didn't even mind the few glances having an owl proudly perching and preening. His hands hadn't stopped caressing the soft feathers as he made his way to the lounge. Sirius was still badly singing Christmas carols walking around with a tray of what looked like Eggnog. Harry sent a single glance to Hedwig who bopped her head and flew over to Sirius's shoulder slapping him on the back of his head with her wing.

Harry chuckled at the indignation on Sirius's face. Hedwig nodded to herself as if saying she had done a job well done before flying back to Harry's shoulder.

"You couldn't just tell me to stop singing?"

"Where would the fun be in that," Harry smirked.

Sirius relaxed slightly. He had been worried about Harry the past few days, Harry had barely even smiled much less looked happy for the past few days since he had returned from St. Mungo's. It was good to see him smile like that.

"Someone finally found a bit of Christmas cheer, eggnog?"

"Never had it before."

"That's a mistake we're going to have to fix, isn't it?"

Sirius gave him the biggest mug on his tray, watching him with eager eyes as Harry took his first sip of eggnog. Harry grimaced as the thick liquid burned its way down his throat, hot and sweet at the same time. He coughed and spluttered.

"There's alcohol in this!"

"Of course there is, pup," Sirius barked with laughter. "It's eggnog!"

Harry sipped some more this time knowing what to expect. It wasn't all bad, still the thickness of the drink made sure it would never be his favourite drink. He much preferred butterbeer or possibly even Firewhisky.

"Are we going to open up our presents now?" Ron asked impatiently.

"We are still waiting for your parents," Sirius said.

"We're here now," Mrs. Weasley called out from the door.

"Where's Tonks?" Hermione asked.

"She got a package and a letter at breakfast," Harry said.

"Do you know who it was from?" Ginny asked with an impish smile.

Harry felt a shiver run down his spine, like he was being appraised like a cut of meat. He did not like that look on her face. He had seen it on some of the other girls' faces during the DA, Cho being the first coming to his mind. Ginny was dating Michael Corner, right? That's what Hermione had said, right? And her older brothers were around, who would kick his arse before even asking why their little sister had been so energetic in her pursuit of him.

Ron looked more and more impatient the longer, they had to wait for Tonks to arrive. Sirius had been adamant that they would all be there for the gift opening. He let out a noise sounding something between an excited puppy and a strangled pigeon when Tonks showed herself in the doorway.

"Finally! Can we open the presents now?"

"Go ahead," Mrs. Weasley said fondly.

Ron was the first to find his own presents and started tearing up the paper. Harry sat back, still caressing Hedwig on his shoulder with his free hand.

"You know, girl, I did get you some special owl treats for Christmas. They're in my trunk. Do you want me to get them?"

Hedwig hooted something in the negative, Harry supposed. She would have likely flown out of the room if she wanted them straight away. Harry had been looking for an excuse to leave at least for a moment. He had seen the way Tonks was creeping closer to him and he was afraid they were going to fight again. They'd been doing that a lot this break, about his situation, about his nightmares, his training, his attitude… Jacque.

Harry made his way to a nearby couch and sat down in it. He was certain that Sirius would be bringing him his presents at some point. He was excitable like that. Harry had barely managed to sit down without spilling either his eggnog or knocking Hedwig off his shoulder when the couch dipped next to him. Harry turned tiredly towards the only person it could be expecting another argument. Instead he just got handed two gifts by her.

"Jacque didn't know how to reach you after the last letter, so he gave me his gift last time I was at work. Sorry for not telling you," she whispered. "When you hadn't written him, I thought things were going badly between you. So I was angry at you on his behalf… I'm sorry."

"It's alright. What's the other one?"

"My gift for you," Tonks said with a small genuine smile.

"You shouldn't have."

"I don't really have much to spend my money on these days," Tonks waved her hand dismissively. "Don't pay rent living here and Dobby does the shopping with Sirius's money. I apparate to work from the backyard."

Harry gingerly received the two gifts from Tonks. Both of them were small in size. He opened the first one, finding a leather band not unlike the one he had given Jacque during their date to Diagon alley.

"That's from Jacque," Tonks whispered. "He showed me his own. You've got good taste."

"I just bought what he showed an interest in."

He picked it up. It was simpler than the one he had given to Jacque. There were no stones in this one but the straps were wrapped in a specific pattern that Harry hadn't seen before.

"May I?"

Harry extended his left arm towards her and she carefully twined it around his wrist. He looked closely at the pattern. The dark leather was almost black and he could spot symbolic patterns.

"Do you know what the symbols come from?"

"He told me that they were of Welsh origin," Tonks explained. "The Potter's were Welsh I think. Many, many years ago."

"Huh… I didn't know that. How would he have known that?" Harry mumbled to himself, looking over the band some more.

Tonks ran a hand through her hair, her eyes darted to Sirius.

"Sirius told me, and I told Jacque when he asked me," Tonks said quickly.

"You must have gotten quite close at work if you guys are sharing something like that," Harry smiled. "How's he doing?"

"He's doing well, lots of work. He thinks about you a lot, 's worried about you."

Harry awkwardly fiddled with the band. He didn't know how to handle this. It felt weird using Tonks as a messenger between him and his boyfriend. She wasn't a glorified owl, she was… she was much more than that to him already. He couldn't really put it into words, so instead he focused his attention on the present, he had received.

"Do you know what this is made of?"

"Oh, dragon skin. I think it was from a Hungerian Horntail, like the one you went up in your First Task."

Harry nodded. He supposed it wasn't too unreasonable to think that Jacque would have heard about his time during the Tri-Wizard Tournament. They had been pretty reported. Harry couldn't fault him for wanting to read up on him after they started dating, if he was dating himself he would probably read up on him too. Not to sound arrogant but his life was sometimes crazier than any story.

"Here, mine now," Tonks said cheerfully.

Harry opened up the second gift and found a necklace with a lighting bolt with a chameleon twirled around it on what looked like the same material as the band.

"Get it?"

Harry looked at her with a dumb expression on his face. He got it but it seemed oddly intimate having that hanging around his neck.

"Do you like it?" she asked timidly.

"Yeah. It's great. Do you want to help me put it on?"

He knew he had said the right thing when Tonks's face bloomed into one of the most breathtaking smiles he had ever seen from her. He didn't have to wear it at all times and it was kind of cool looking. Even if he didn't like his scar all that much he couldn't deny that it was iconic for him.

He ran his finger over the silver piece and smiled at Tonks. "Thank you. You really shouldn't have."

Harry helped Hedwig unto Tonks's shoulder. He was surprised to see them have such a good relationship. Tonks didn't have a good track record with feathered beings, at least not Buckbeak or other owls if any of her Hogwarts stories were true. He got up to find his gift for her. He felt better about giving her a choker now that she had given him something similar. He had to trust Jacque's judgement here. He hoped that Hermione or Ginny wouldn't add too much meaning to it.

He found it under a small pile of gifts and brought it back to her. He noticed that she looked more expectant than wondering as he handed it to her, like she already knew what was in it. He watched as she opened up the gift in one quick swipe at the paper covering it. He had kind of forgotten the wooden box it had come in. It was carved with the symbol of the shop and it looked pretty. Harry was almost sure that the box was worth more than the content at this point.

Tonks opened up the box and gasped. Harry let a small smile flitter across his lips. He didn't even remember how it looked anymore. He just remembered something lacy and a pink or was it purple stone?

Tonks held it up on the tips of her fingers.

"I take it, you like it?"

"I do… I do, I do, I do. Thank you, Handsome."

"What is that?!"

Harry and Tonks turned their heads towards the voice and saw a slightly irate Ginny standing in front of them only a couple of feet away. Her chest was expanding and deflating hurriedly as she stood there. Harry idly thought it reminded him of Mrs. Weasley whenever she was gearing up for another one of her many scoldings of Fred and George.

"Harry's present for me," Tonks said.

Harry was surprised to hear the smug tone of victory in her voice. Harry couldn't understand where that came from. He watched absentmindedly while Tonks and Ginny stared each other down. He closed his eyes, they would probably get him when they were done with whatever that was. He found the mug of eggnog next to him and sipped on it. He was drawn back into it when Hedwig jumped onto his shoulder and pecked his head.

"Ow - what did you do that for?" Harry glared at his owl.

He looked around and saw Tonks sitting in between Ginny and Hermione on another couch. Sirius had taken Tonks's spot, his arms filled with a couple of presents.

"These are yours."

Harry smiled and took the first one. It was a heavy square shaped gift. He carefully unwrapped the paper and found a set of books in his lap, Practical Defensive Magic and Its Use Against the Dark Arts.

"Mooney and I got you those. Well, Mooney got them. I just helped pay for them. We thought they might be useful and interesting with your little club… if you don't like -"

Harry flung his arms around Sirius's neck, not caring in the slightest that the set of three books fell to the floor. It wasn't the gift in itself but this was only the second gift he had gotten from Sirius in his whole life.

"I love them," Harry whispered. "Thank you, thank you so much."

"It was nothing, pup," Sirius choked out. Harry wasn't sure if it was his hug or Sirius tearing up but he started breathing unevenly, tears flooding in his eyes.

Nobody interrupted them until they both calmed down. Harry awkwardly wiped at the corners of his eyes. Sirius was doing much the same thing. They looked at each other for a second before looking away, coughing and clearing their throat.

"So I take it you like them?"

"If Mooney says they are good books, then they must be. He was my best DADA teacher," Harry said a little hoarsely. "Though I'll probably have to let Hermione read them before I get a chance."

"Probably," Sirius smirked. "You know she's thorough at least a tenth of the library here already. She would probably move in there if we let her."

"That… doesn't surprise me."

Harry picked up the set of books from where they had fallen and put them next to him. Hedwig had flown off during the hug. Harry was a little surprised that she hadn't gotten angry at him, maybe the promise of special owl treats had kept him from the worst of it.

"This one here is a little special," Sirius said, running his fingers over the other gift in his hands.

Harry knew even before opening it that it was special. It seemed like a book but the shape wasn't the same as his school books. He carefully opened it revealing a deep red leather cover. It didn't have a title on the front. It looked like a big version of the journal Sirius had given him about Occlumency. He looked up questioningly at Sirius.

"Open it."

Harry opened up the cover and found a dainty handwriting on the parchment. Rukověť bojovníka proti silám nejtemnějším, under it the handwriting continued, Manual of a Fighter Against the Forces of Darkness. Translated by Alastor Matěj Moody. Harry looked up from the writing. Questions flooding through his mind. He saw the last line of handwriting under it. Transcribed By Nymphadora J. Tonks, and then another different handwriting, and Sirius Orion Black.

Harry ran his fingers over their names. He flipped through the large leather tome and saw different sections in either Tonks's or Sirius's handwriting.

"You couldn't have just copied it?" Harry asked.

"Not how such things work. The copying charm wears off in time. It's not really all that good for stuff like that. Tonks thought… well, she suggested doing it and seeing as I don't really have a lot of stuff to do in the day…"

"This is amazing," Harry said in awe as he skimmed some of the passages.

"I know," Sirius nodded. "I'm not even sure if that one would still be legal here in Britain. I think it would be best if you kept it away from other people's eyes."

"You mean Hermione."

"Yeah, I do," Sirius smirked.

Sirius closed the book in front of him and tied it with the leather string hanging from it. Harry nodded and put it next to him.

"You should thank her… I know most of it has been transcribed by me… but that was only because I had more time. She would spend every hour she had off making sure it was ready."

"I will, but why?"

"Moody suggested it back in November. He had translated one for Tonks himself. He told her… no I guess he ordered her to make a copy of hers. Though I'm pretty sure he just meant with a copying charm though. He supports you in his own way. That book… It'll make you a killer if you follow what it says."

Harry almost looked at the book like it was going to bite him. He had no intention of becoming a killer. He was just about to hand it to Sirius, when he felt a strong hand on his shoulder.

"I probably shouldn't tell you this… Molly is definitely going to have my head for it and probably Dumbledore too… Thing is, pup, most of us from the last war have killed. Your Dad and Mum too. Sometimes it is just kill or be killed…"

"Wouldn't that make us just as bad as them?"

"I… I don't believe so. I think it's more about the reason why you do it. Sometimes it is necessary. If you do it for fun or because you enjoy it… well I suppose that would make you a right arsehole… but if you do it to protect the people around you… Mind you, someone like Moody probably does both. . It's not like I'm the one you should listen to… You were the one to stop me from killing Pettigrew, remember?"

Harry took a moment to think about that. He supposed he had never really thought about how ready Sirius had been to take vengeance into his own hands. At the time Harry hadn't really thought about it, he had been overwhelmed just by finding out that Sirius wanted him and that he hadn't actually betrayed his parents. It's not as if he wanted Pettigrew to live, he wanted Sirius to be free. And since they would have given him to the dementors, it was not about sparing Pettigrew. Looking back on it now… Especially after Pettigrew killed Cedric, he wasn't so sure he wouldn't fall into the same anger and need for vengeance himself against the man.

"Just… don't disregard it because of some sense of moral high ground. That only works when people aren't getting killed around you," Sirius finished, getting up. "It's them or you and those you care about."

Harry carefully placed the red leather book under the defence books from Sirius and Remus. He got a homework planner colour coded and completely filled out by Hermione. A good amount of sweets and the annual Weasley sweater from the Weasleys. Fred and George had gotten him a selection of their works in progress. He would have to ask them what they did at some point.

He carefully carried his presents to his room. He would let Hermione look through the Defence books but somehow the thought of letting her read the red book didn't sit right with him. It was something made for him specifically by Tonks, it somehow made it precious to him the same way the photo album of his parents was. He remembered the letter from Jacque that had come with the present from Jacque.

He put down the presents in a pile on his bed and fished out the letter from the pile. He hesitated looking at the blank envelope in his hand. He tried to figure out when Jacque would have given it to Tonks. Had she had it before he had arrived? Had she gotten it last time she was at work? He was certain she had gotten it before Jacque had gotten his letter to him.

"What are you hesitating for?" he angrily asked himself.

He used the anger to flip open the envelope, pulling out the parchment inside of it. His eyes only reached the first line before he couldn't look at it anymore. His breathing had gotten rougher and cold sweat had started running down his back. His hands were clammy and he began seeing black spots around him. Harry threw the letter away and fell down on the floor pulling his knees to his chest. He tried to get his breathing under control again.

In, out, in, out, in, out, in, out, focus on your heartbeat, in, out, in, out, in… out… in… out…

On and on and on did he repeat the same thing in his mind, forcing himself to calm down. He felt pathetic breaking down like that. He finally calmed down after emptying a glass of water, he wasn't sure had been there before, probably Dobby now that he thought about it. He eyed the letter lying innocently on the floor a little ways away from him. He breathed in deeply once more before reaching for it. No matter what was in it, he owed it to Jacque to at least finish it.

Hey Handsome

Merry Christmas, I guess. Tonks is supposed to give this to you with your gift.
Did you like it? I thought it would be nice for you to have something like you gave to me. I did read up on you, sorry. I thought it would be cool to have something made of a Hungerian Horntail. It's tied in welsh knots. I read that your family seemed to be from around Godric's Hollow.

Did you think about me? I thought a lot about you. I miss you, Handsome. Tonks told me you would be able to get out during your Christmas break. I hope you want to meet up with me.

Harry, I love you, you know.

Harry kept on reading that sentence over and over again. He felt every worry and fear leave him as the words registered in his mind. He began over and a smile appeared on his face.

… Well, send your beautiful owl to me, when you've found a day.
Or you could tell Tonks. You sure I shouldn't be jealous?

Yours Always
Jacque

Harry kissed the name on the parchment, when he lowered it back into his lap he saw Tonks standing in the door, smirking at him. Harry blushed and instantly hid his face behind the letter. He groaned loudly when he heard Tonks giggling at him.

"Someone's ~ in ~ love," Tonks sang at him.

"Ha… ha…" Harry replied dryly. "So what? You already knew that."

"I take it things are going good between you two?"

"Yeah. I think so. We would have to have a date to make sure but I think so."

"That's good."

"Thanks…"

"For what?"

"The book. Sirius told me -"

"Ah - don't mention it," Tonks said blushing. "I'm serious… don't mention it."

"Why not?"

"I got too…"

Harry didn't let her continue before he pulled her into a tight hug. She had begun to fit nicely in the nook at his neck. He had grown in the last half a year. He was nowhere near Ron's height but he wasn't as small as he used to be. It was nice being taller than Tonks.

"You enjoying yourself?"

Harry jumped back. Everything that had been in contact with her felt like it was burning in addition to his face.

"Uhm… I just wanted to say thanks. You didn't have to but I'm glad you did."

"It really w-was n-no pro-problem," Tonks stammered before she ran out of the room.

Harry only saw the red hair for a moment, before she was out of view. He chuckled to himself. It was enjoyable seeing Tonks being flustered - Tonks. Shit, he had to talk to her about a date with Jacque… Oh well he could find her later.

Harry began packing the different presents into his trunk. He donned the new Weasley sweater as tradition dictated, before heading back to the others. The letter from Jacque was placed with the other letters. He had kept them all and when the longing hit him he would read them starting with the first one.

Harry remembered to grab the bag of special owl treats for Hedwig before going out of his bedroom. It wouldn't do him any good if he had forgotten those a second time. He made it way back downstairs, finding Tonks sitting with Hedwig at the kitchen table. She looked her usual cool self as she scratched the bird on her chest feathers.

Harry walked over and sat down next to the two of them. He kept the treats out of sight, waiting for them to notice him being there.

"Nice sweater."

"Thanks. I quite like them. Though Mrs. Weasley goes over the top with them."

Hedwig bounced her way over to him and stared straight into his eyes. Harry chuckled at the expectant look on the bird's face. He didn't say anything or move.

"Hoot!"

"Alright, alright, I got them," Harry laughed, pulling up the bag. "Sorry about the lack of paper, girl."

Hedwig pecked at the bag, obviously wanting to have them straight away. Harry and Tonks shared a look before they descended into laughter. Harry opened the bag and picked out a small handful of treats putting them down on the table in a pile. Hedwig completely ignored them in favour of the treats.

"So… Uhm. Do I still need a bodyguard for an outing?"

"Probably yeah… this about Jacque?"

"Yeah," Harry smiled. "He asked in his letter if we could meet up during the Christmas break. Well, I asked him too in my letter. We asked each other."

"Way to flaunt your relationship," Tonks huffed jokingly. "You're asking if I'm up for freezing my arse off while you enjoy some time with your boyfriend?"

"Something like that."

"You could ask someone else…"

"I'm… I'm not ready for that yet…"

"You ashamed of him?"

"No! It's just… I can't… Do you know how people would look at me if they knew?"

"I have a pretty good idea."

"Oh… I'm sorry. I didn't know. You've never…"

"Don't worry about it. I understand. You'll have to tell people, you trust at some point."

"I already did."

"But you've only told… Oh…"

"Yeah…"

"Of course, I'll help you. I've got your back."

"Thanks Tonks. It means a lot to me - to us."

Harry gave her a one-armed hug. She smelled nice, he noticed, her warmth felt nice too. He lingered for longer than he had intended to around her shoulder.

"Did you like your gift and what was all that with Hermione and Ginny about?"

"Oh that?" Tonks laughed. "Yeah, it was a great gift. If I hadn't known about Jacque I would probably have thought you were putting the moves on me. Ginny… Ginny liked the look of it at first then she wanted to know if anything was going on between us. Hermione… well, I guess she was just intrigued, you'd think she wants one of her own. Maybe from you."

"Why would she want one from me? And why would Ginny think something was going on between us?"

"You are so adorably innocent for a guy with a boyfriend," Tonks giggled. "Ginny thought you were 'marking' me with the choker. Like it was some sort of male way to tell people that I was taken by you."

Harry spluttered, looking anywhere but at Tonks. It really was quite fascinating the way Hedwig would peck at a treat a couple of times before swallowing it whole. He was almost impressed that she didn't choke on it.

"Haaareeey," Tonks breathed directly next to his ear.

Harry fell over and landed hard on the floor knocking the wind out of his lungs. He gasped for breath while Tonks laughed her arse off, looking down at his embarrassed face.

"What did you do that for?" Harry choked out.

"Your face," Tonks managed to get out between giggles.

"What?"

"Your face is hilarious. You should see the look on your face."

"Ha… Ha…" Harry got up from the floor. "I don't see you wearing it. Guess you didn't want to be marked by me."

Tonks looked away quickly. "So, when are you meeting up with Jacque?"

"Don't know. When does it work with you? You're the busy one."

"Uhm… he's in a different department. MLEP and I'm with the Aurors. But I could pass him a note, you know?"

"Anything sounds good to me," Harry shrugged. "I'm the one imposing on you. Thanks again, Tonks."

Harry ran a hand through her hair. It was soft he noticed, was she doing that with her abilities or was it natural? Was there even such a thing as natural with her? Harry honestly didn't know and it felt intrusive to ask her, if he was being honest with himself. Ability or not, her soft hair was part of her. She was just Tonks after all, and he cared for her more than he would ever allow himself to admit.