Blood. It was on my hands. My mother's. My father's. Why hadn't I done anything. The blade I held, my father's blade. Dripping with all of their blood.

I sat up straight, my breathing quick. The first nightmare in a while. My bedsheets were damp with sweat. My stomach churning. Outside the sun was just coming up. It was time for the training to begin. The training for the Blood Rite.

Azriel was going to kill me if he found out, I realized, as I ran laps around the camp. Which is why, I supposed, I couldn't let him find out. I just needed him to stay away a little bit longer.

"Anything?" Lina asked after our training session in later that day and I shook my head. It was getting warmer in Windhaven now. The snow had left even the tallest of peaks and wildflowers had spread across the grass in the camp.

"Perhaps he isn't my mate," I shrugged. "I'm sure mother and father would have struggled to be apart this long."

"You've not accepted the bond yet," She reminded me. "And we won't know for sure until you attempt to." Her glance looked elsewhere and I followed her stare to where another Illyrian warrior was standing. Just not the one I was hoping for. She excused herself, leaving me with Cassian.

"Good morning, sunshine," He beamed, irritatingly.

"Not in the mood today, General," I murmured, tying the wooden staffs together.

"What's got your panties in a twist?" I let out a low growl and he held up his hands. "Fancy a sparring partner, then?"

I wasn't turning that one down. I'd not gone against a male here in Windhaven. I was pretty sure it was some kind of unwritten rule, but I decided Cassian was an exception. I threw a wooden staff his way and he caught it with perfect reflexes I expected. Well, he had a few centuries on me. We stalked one another, pacing around the ring and he went for the first attack. I smoothly dodged it and he nodded.

"He's been in the Steppes, in case you were wondering. Staying in one of the weaker camps."

"Okay."

"Okay?" He raised an eyebrow as he parried the attack.

"I'm not his keeper," I parried his attack.

"Well we both know that's not true," Our wooden staffs clashed. I kept my focus, moving this way and that, determined to get the better of him. His eyes tracked me. Perfectly trained. "He wishes he was here, with you, you know that right?" I leapt but he still parried the attack. "Honestly, he's been brooding so much more than usual." He drawled and I narrowed my eyes as he moved to attack, I ducked, hitting him across the shins with the wooden staff and he hissed as I rolled out of the way before he could return the attack. "He even asked Rhys if he could move here."

"No," I said to him.

"No? But he's your-"

It all happened quickly. One minute I was in front of Cassian and then, on instinct I'd vaulted, my wings guiding me, to his reverse and in a swift moment I knocked him to the ground. I blinked in disbelief as he rolled over, laughing, "I yield!"

We had an audience I realized. There was not a sound as I helped him to his feet. The other warriors had just watched my knock their General to the ground. "Who's next then?" He dared and they all backed away, Devlon included.

"Can I get you any of that balm Az uses?" I offered Cassian after I'd bathed. I'd hardly hurt him but typical male, milking it for everything it was worth.

"The coffee is fine," He replied, holding it up. "My physical wounds will heal but I can't say the same for my pride."

"Illyrian baby, indeed," I murmured as I sat myself in my armchair.

"I meant it, by the way, I wasn't just trying to rile you up," Cassian said from the sofa, pushing himself up. "He does miss you."

"Good," I murmured.

"Good?"

"Because I miss him too," My voice came out quiet and he gave a small nod as if he understood. Perhaps he did, I had no idea, but it wasn't really my place to ask.

"You're a good warrior, you know," He nodded. "I assumed you would be, but I think you've proved yourself."

I scoffed, "Not enough, it would seem. Lord Devlon thinks we'll only win our rightful place if we take the blood rite."

"You'd lose some good warriors."

"Exactly." I paused and looked over him. I needed to tread carefully here. "What was it like?"

"Awful," Cassian admitted, "And bloody hard work. We had to kill others to find each other. We were too powerful together so we'd been separated but we knew we'd only survive if we worked together. Three pains in the assess." A cocky smile and I rolled my eyes. "I've not seen Az this happy ever." He commented, changing the subject. "I think that sometimes he even hums."

"Liar."

I stood up and walked to the kitchen, picking up a bottle of wine and two glasses. I figured that mid-afternoon wasn't too early. Not really. But when I stepped back into the living room, Azriel was there. He looked tired, no, exhausted and there was blood on his armour. Alarm swam through me and I was there, quicker than Cassian could get up.

"It's not mine," He murmured as I looked at the blood. He looked awful. Lost, exhausted. I checked him over quickly, checking he was still perfectly intact and let out a sigh of relief as I led him to the bathroom. I ran the bath in silence as he stood there, quietly, only excusing myself when it was ready.

"I'm right out there if you need me." I whispered, kissing his cheek before leaving him to clean up in privacy.

Cassian was on his feet when I returned to the living room. "I should get word to Rhys," He said. "I'll grab him some fresh clothes from the house first, though." And he excused himself.

The house was quiet, sound only returning when Cassian went to get some fresh clothes, which I'd discretely left folded on the bathroom floor. Azriel came out of the bath shortly after that and I led him to the bed, sitting down beside him, holding his hand. "What happened?" I whispered as I watched the shadows dancing around him.

"They had one on the inside," He said. "I didn't solve it in time and he…" His voice trailed off, pained.

"How many?"

"One," He said, "And then when I found the intruder I tortured him... Had to find out the information... and then I... slit his throat."

"He deserved it."

"But someone had to die. If only I had…"

I moved to sit in his lap, wrapping my arms around him and resting my head against his shoulder, "One," I reminded him, "It could have been one hundred but you stopped that."

"I could have-"

"No," I forced him to look at me now, "His death was a sacrifice so that you could find the intruder." I stroked his hair. "You've saved countless lives tonight, my love." His eyes moved to mine then, at the term of endearment. "Now you need to rest, you're exhausted."

I stroked his hair, curled up against him until his breathing was even and he was fast asleep. It hurt lying to him, I realised. An aching in my bones. And as I looked over at the sleeping, broken warrior beside me I wondered what I would do if anything had happened to him.

I woke up the next morning still curled up beside Azriel, a wing draped over me protectively. Light poured in and I panicked, trying to wiggle free. I had a job to do.

"Where are you going?" The Illyrian warrior murmured from behind me.

"To work," I replied, trying to escape but he only pulled me tighter, "Az!"

"Cass has it covered," He murmured, "He's already there."

I rolled over to get a better look at him. His eyes were closed but the dark circles were nearly gone and by holding me prisoner I assumed he'd got most of his strength back. "You're bad for business," I said, prodding his nose.

"You deserve some time off every now and then," He caught my hand and pressed a kiss to it.

"I suppose the females deserve a treat every now and then too. Something nice to look at." His eyes flashed open and I gave him a playful smile. "I have the better view right now though," I whispered and he pulled me in for a kiss that made my toes curl. I'd missed that. And I'd really missed him. I realized I couldn't be angry at him, not when he had been busy protecting other Illyrians.

But then I reminded myself that I had only twelve days until the Blood Rite… twelve days to get myself into shape.