A/N ~ Hope you enjoy this chapter. Many thanks to SWWoman.
Nothing you see belongs to me.
"I do, John," she answered quietly. "...and I love you too. So very much, but that doesn't answer my question."
John smiled at the worry he heard in her voice. He imagined the knot between her brows, the pout he knew had formed on her lips and felt warm.
"There's no need to be worried, Joss. Everything's been taken care of."
She was quiet for a few beats, and he could tell that although there were questions that she wanted to ask, she held them back.
"I know you want to know what happened. I know you have questions. But part of protecting you means that I'm going to protect you from the details of what went on tonight. Just trust me that Donnelly won't bother you ever again."
"I do trust you. Just promise me that you didn't do something that's impossible to take back."
"I promise you, Joss."
Her audible sigh of relief was heavy. "Are you working tomorrow?" she asked.
"Of course I am. I'll be there before you wake up."
"I'm glad," she said, then fell silent.
"What's the matter?"
"I just wonder if there'll ever be a day where I can wake up with you, see your face as soon as my eyes open. I want that so much."
"So do I."
"We could sit at the dining table, have coffee, eat breakfast. Then we'd camp out in the living room, watch some TV, cuddle together and just let the hours of the day pass by. "
"What would we watch?" he asked.
She grinned. "I don't know. Something funny and light. I don't even care. As long as I could have that day, I'd be happy."
"It'll happen, Joss," he promised, though he didn't know how. All he could do was remain hopeful as intense longing filled them both. "We'll make sure it does."
As promised, John was at the bottom of the stairs when Joss emerged from her bedroom and headed for the kitchen.
"Jasmine is up and about," he spoke into the mic at his wrist and trailed behind her.
The next two days passed quickly. Harold wanted her to prepare a statement in the event Donnelly made good on his threat, but Joss' mind was elsewhere. It was with John when she went out to eat, when she went home at the end of the day, and when she woke up in the mornings wishing his face was the first thing she could see.
Sunday afternoon found Joss at home busy in her kitchen. She and her mom had gotten up early and decided to cook together. Earlier in the week she had invited Harold and his wife Grace over to eat with them, and she wanted to get all the cooking out of the way so she could shower and get dressed before they arrived.
She opened a bottle of wine, got two glasses, and together she and Evelyn got tipsy while they prepared the meal together. They made seasoned potatoes with carrots and broccoli, two whole baked chickens, homemade rolls, baked macaroni and cheese, corn on the cob, and Evelyn even baked some red velvet cake for dessert.
It was enough to feed everyone including her 'small army'. She had made sure to buy enough food and drinks to feed the agents on duty that day, and she rolled her eyes after they had just started cooking when her mother whispered 'Make sure you feed that tall man of yours' in her ear.
That 'tall man of hers' hovered while she and her mother prepared the food. He stood near the entrance of the kitchen, being observant, present, and she swore she saw his lips twitch at a suppressed smile and laugh as he listened to their mother daughter banter. And even when she included him in the conversation in small ways from time to time, he faded into the background when he needed to. She liked having him around, wished that he could be less of an observer during this time and more of a participant, but she remembered their conversation from a few nights ago when he promised they would somehow make it happen. She didn't' know how it would happen, but she believed him when he said that it would.
She happily served him a plate and told him and Groves to take a load off to eat. They both sat at the kitchen island with Marconi and Charlie Burton and attacked the food with gusto, complimenting Joss and her mother on a home cooked meal, something they didn't often get to enjoy in their line of work.
Harold and Grace arrived with three bottles of wine in tow, and by the time the sun set, two of the bottles were empty. Joss watched them both over dinner while they all talked and joked and enjoyed each other's company. Harold was always reserved, but with Grace, all the love he had for her was in his eyes, in the soft touches to her shoulder or hand when he talked to her. Joss loved their non-verbal communication, how they mirrored each other's expressions and gestures. It was heartwarming to watch them, but it also emphasized to Joss how much she wanted to be with John like this openly and how much she wanted to show everyone how much he meant to her.
Taylor excused himself from adult company when two of his friends came over, and they headed to his room to play video games. Grace asked Evelyn to show her the new roses in her garden out back because she just knew they wouldn't be able to leave the house without Harold and Joss talking campaign business.
Joss smiled as she closed the door to her office after she and Harold entered it. Instead of sitting behind her desk, she sat beside him in the adjacent armchair.
"What's on your mind, Joss?"
She side eyed him and kissed her teeth. He studied her, waiting for a reply, and she suddenly felt like she was back in his classroom all those years ago. The student needed guidance from the teacher.
"I can tell something is going on. You've been pensive all afternoon."
"I can never get anything past you, can I Harold?"
"No, you can't. I know you all too well."
She wasn't quite sure how to say what she was thinking. She knew after everything they'd done so far to ensure she ran a successful campaign, he would definitely have an aversion to it.
"Remember when we first found out about Donnelly's secret mistress?"
"And his secret love child."
"And his secret love child."
"Yes, I remember."
"And remember when I said that I wanted to run a clean race?"
"And you have, Joss."
She sighed heavily. "Not entirely, Harold. I've gone along with everything you've suggested to get us this far, but there's something that I just can't do anymore."
"What is it?" He looked worried and sat up straighter in his chair.
"This pretend relationship with Ian; I can't do it anymore. I won't do it anymore."
Now it was her turn to wait for him to respond.
"Knowing fully why it is necessary for you to date him, and having already agreed to do so, might I ask why you suddenly object now?"
"This isn't the first time I've objected. I was against this from the beginning. Harold, it doesn't feel right. It feels dishonest, and I have feelings for someone else."
His eyes widened as he held her gaze. "Something tells me that I'm not going to like what you're about to say next. Who is it?"
"It's Agent Reese," she admitted quietly and looked away.
He got up then, paced the floor a bit, then perched himself on the edge of her desk. "I understand that's it's probably been a while, Joss. I mean after Paul, the only other guy you -"
"No, this isn't some sleazy affair. It's serious, Harold. I love him."
He was digesting the information and she could see that it was a hard pill to swallow. His mind was going a mile a minute. He was thinking of it leaking to the press, how to contain it if it did. He was thinking of how to protect her and how to make sure that it wouldn't ruin her career all at the same time.
She got up and sat beside him again, both falling into silence for a while. Upstairs, she could hear Taylor and his friends laughing, but the quiet between them in the office was deafening. It was Harold who finally broke it.
"You know, if anybody deserves to find love, real love in their life, it's definitely you, Joss. And I hope that Agent Reese knows how lucky he is to be the recipient of that love."
He bumped her shoulder.
"He knows, Harold." She was getting misty eyed, bumped his shoulder in return.
"You couldn't have fallen in love another time?" he asked. "An affair I could cover up, but this? I can't make this go away."
"Harold," she said, cutting her eye, but she smiled anyway. "I don't want it to go away."
"Alright," he said, with resignation. "We have to come up with a contingency plan. You two met a long time ago while you were both in the military and fell out of touch until recently when he started to work on your detail. You can even say that he knew Paul at the beginning of your marriage."
The wheels were turning in his head, and she couldn't help but be impressed.
He continued his spiel until they were interrupted by a knock on the door, and her mother entered.
"Sameen's here, Joss. There's some news story she wants you to see."
She and Harold both rushed out together where Grace and Sameen were planted in front of the TV. CNN was about to carry a brief news conference from Nicholas Donnelly.
"Sameen, you know what this is about?"
Though John promised Donnelly was no longer a threat, her heart hammered in her chest as she wondered what he was going to say.
"An insider from the network tells me he's going to announce he's leaving office."
"What?" Harold asked, and Sameen shrugged.
Everyone fell quiet as the video cut from the news anchor to a small gathering on Donnelly's front lawn. They were shocked as he said that he would be taking a break from politics to focus on his family. His announcement lasted all of ten minutes and was followed by a barrage of questions by the reporters there. She could tell that despite the smile on his face and calm demeanor, he was none too pleased to be taking an extended vacation.
"I have to call Olivia," Harold said, dialing numbers on his cell phone. He squeezed her arm. "This has to be her doing. I wonder what she found on him. We can finally rest easy, Joss."
She returned his smile, but she knew this had nothing to do with Olivia. This was all John. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him quietly enter the room and make eye contact with her. This was him protecting her again, and nobody else knew. She wanted to throw herself into his arms, tell him thank you, tell him that she loved him, but all she did was incline her head. He nodded in response, then left as quietly as he'd entered.
Washington, D.C. was a refreshing change. Instead of being at campaign headquarters for the entire day, Ian had met her at the airport, helped her check into her hotel where she was spending the night, and then took her for an early dinner at a nice restaurant.
His smile was bright when he first saw her, and though she knew that John would be uncomfortable watching them together, she returned the warmth of his embrace when Ian pulled her in for a kiss.
"I was worried about you, Joss," he said as their server came to take away their empty plates at dinner. "After everything that went down last week, I wondered if you were gonna be okay."
He reached across the table and took her hand while Joss willed herself not to look in John's direction.
"Yeah, I was a little worried about myself last week too. But it all worked itself out."
"I guess Ms. Pope had something to do with him suddenly want to spend time with his family."
Joss shrugged. "The woman is good at what she does."
"Well, I'm glad. I'm just glad he's not gonna be getting in your way anymore."
Joss noticed a look of uncertainty on Ian's face. While he'd been welcoming and concerned, he seemed a bit distracted, like he had something on his mind.
"You okay Ian?" she asked. "Something you wanna talk about?"
To her surprise he flushed, and his face turned a bright red for a moment. Now she was the one who was concerned.
"My poker face that bad?" he asked.
"I used to be an interrogator, Ian. While it's not terrible, I can see you got something going on. What is it?"
"I do want to talk to you about something, Joss, but it's best we talk about it in private."
He signaled for the cheque, and Joss sat straight up in her chair wondering what it could be. She'd come here to end things with him, but if what he had going on was bad, she didn't want to pile bad news on top of whatever he might be dealing with and possibly exacerbate things.
As they headed outside and the car came around, he gave the driver his address. She and Ian continued to joke around in the back seat, and Joss could feel the tension coming off of John in the passenger's side in front of her. She wished he could hear her silent plea asking him to be patient while she put this farce to bed once and for all.
After doing a sweep inside Ian's condo, he and Groves stood outside the front door while she went inside with Ian.
"You want anything to drink?" he asked and shrugged out of his coat.
He threw it over the arm chair and thrust his hands into his pockets. He seemed unsure of how to begin. Joss stood in front of him, and he gave her a crooked smile that seemed full of regret.
"Joss, do you remember when we first started this and I told you that I had just ended a relationship with someone?"
"Yes. You said that after you'd dated for a while, you found out she was married."
"I did, and then I ended it. And then a few weeks later, she turned up outside my front door on a Sunday afternoon, and we ended up sleeping together."
"Oh."
Joss sat down on his sofa, taking in what he was saying. He sat beside her, taking her hand in his.
"It wasn't just the sex. We talked for the entire night, really talked, and we realized how much we really love each other. She said that she would leave her husband for me. She's already moved out of the house, and she's about to file for a divorce."
"Ian, this is really unexpected."
"I know. I was planning to tell you the night of the fundraiser, but the situation with Donnelly happened, the timing was just all wrong. But I knew I couldn't put it off any longer. It wouldn't have been fair to you or Christina."
Joss felt a load lift off of her shoulders. She was shocked by his admission, but she was so happy that he wanted out of this arrangement as much as she did. He looked positively apologetic for disappointing her.
"I know what this means for your campaign," he started. "Joss, I'm so sorry."
She chuckled. "Ian, it's okay."
"Is it?"
She nodded. "I came here to tell you that I wanted to end things too."
"Are you serious?" he asked.
"Yeah, and I was worried how you might take it. What with the deal you made with Harold and Olivia. I know how much becoming the US Attorney means to you, too."
"So you were planning on dumping me?" he asked.
"Well, don't act like you didn't just let me down gently," she answered.
They both laughed together, and Carter realized that she had gained a friend.
"You are a wonderful woman, Joss. You're smart, you're kind, and so very beautiful. Any man would be lucky to have you."
She cupped both his cheeks. "And you are a wonderful man, Ian, and a very good friend. I hope you and Christina are happy together."
She gave him a quick peck on the lips and hugged him.
Now that things were out in the open, all she could think about was getting back to her hotel room and spending some time with John. She stood to her feet.
"So what's gonna happen with your campaign?" he asked, walking her to the door.
"I'm gonna keep going, Ian," she said, and opened the door.
John immediately turned as she stepped into the hall. "You take care of yourself. Don't be a stranger."
"You too, Joss."
Reese gave instructions for Williamson to stand post at the elevator past the corridor for Joss's suite. Groves manned the halfway mark while he stood outside her door. Two hours after they arrived at her hotel, Williamson and Groves took the night off and he was left alone on post.
His expression was cool and focused, but inside he felt restless. He knew the relationship between Joss and Ian Murphy wasn't real, but it was a necessary evil that he was still uncomfortable with. He stood at the door as he had earlier outside Ian's condo torturing himself with imagined scenarios of Ian and Joss together, cursing the circumstance they were in. how had he allowed himself to fall in love with someone when it was impossible for them to have a relationship openly? Truth be told, he hadn't allowed anything. From the moment he laid eyes on her, his heart had immediately gravitated towards her and there wasn't a damn thing he could've done to prevent it save resigning his post. He never saw her coming.
Behind him, the door to her suite opened, and he turned around. Joss scanned the empty hallway, looking around then turned her eyes back to him.
"Are you able to come in for a while?" she asked, quietly.
There was some uneasiness behind her eyes, and he guessed that he wasn't the only one who felt awkward about her meeting with Ian Murphy today. He nodded and walked past her. Her laptop was open on the couch in the sitting area. Her briefcase was nearby and various files and papers lay on the coffee table.
She was already dressed for bed and looked tired, but when the door closed behind them, she embraced him from behind. Quietly, he removed his earpiece and disabled the mic at his wrist. He knew she felt him stiffen when she first touched him, but she held on with her face to his back while he made himself relax. He knew he wasn't being fair. He knew what Ian was - a means to an end - but he hated every touch, every smile and every moment he shared with Joss. He let out a labored breath and let the tension leave his jaw and covered her hands with his own.
"Don't be mad at me, John," she whispered at his back. "Don't be jealous. You don't need to be."
He pulled her around to his chest and looked into her full brown eyes. "Come here." He sat on the sofa and pulled her onto his lap.
"Now what warm blooded man wouldn't feel a little jealous at the thought of his woman in the arms of another man?"
Joss cupped John's face and kissed him softly.
"It's not something you have to worry about anymore," she said when their lips parted. "I came here to end things with Ian."
He pulled away to fully look at her and she could mentally see him going over everything in his head.
"I told Harold that I wasn't comfortable with the charade, and I wanted to stop. I didn't want anyone between you and me anymore."
Although she knew he was relieved, he still looked a little worried. "What about your campaign?" he asked.
She ran her fingers across the hair at his temples and thumbed his cheek. "My campaign will be honest, and I can feel satisfied that I ran a clean race, no matter what happens."
Joss leaned against his chest and felt like she was home. "I love you, John." She kissed his neck, his cheek, then pressed her lips onto his before resting her head on his shoulder.
"You're tired," he said, moving them both off the couch and taking her over to the bed. He shrugged out of his jacket, took his shoes off and got in beside her.
She nestled against him, and Joss let her eyes close. When she woke up the next morning, she was tucked under the covers, and John was gone.
Joss tucked her feet underneath her and settled into the soft back of Liz's couch. They'd finished dinner an hour earlier, and while the TV was on in the background, they were spending the evening talking and catching up. They'd opened a bottle of St. Eden's and Joss took a sip from her second glass.
It felt good to see Liz again. Her house felt like a getaway, not just from the hustle and bustle from work, but here she didn't have to be a mother, a daughter, a senator or even a responsible adult. She could just be Joss. Crazy, fun, and carefree Joss. And tonight, Bill was out working a case, so she and Liz had the house for themselves.
"How are things at work?" Joss asked.
"It's great. Loving my new position and all its perks. It's different being a major part of the decision process at the firm, but it's better. I'm happy. But, girl I don't want to talk about me. How've you been?"
"Same old, same old," Joss started even though Liz was giving her a side eye that said she knew there was more news to dish out. "Actually, you remember Ian?"
"The Assistant US Attorney in D.C.?"
"One and the same."
"Of course I do. What happened?"
"Couple days ago I talked to Harold and told him I wasn't feeling right about the whole fake relationship with Ian, and I wanted to end things."
"I can picture him now, waffling between shock and confusion, pacing with his limp and wondering if you went out of your mind."
Joss laughed at Liz's nearly spot on description of Harold when she gave him the news even down to him beginning to pace.
"He was - is - definitely worried, but he came round once I told him I wouldn't change my mind."
"I'm not gonna lie, Joss. I didn't like it either. But how'd Ian take the news? You already talked to him right?"
Joss nodded after taking another sip of wine. "I flew up to D.C. to talk to him last weekend, and you would not believe what happened. He dumped me before I even got the chance to end things with him."
"He dumped you?"
"Yes!"
"What the hell? Spill the tea right now."
"Right before we all decided to go along with this whole cover relationship, he told me that he'd ended this relationship with a woman who he found out was married. Apparently, she came back into the picture, told him she was divorcing her husband and wanted to be with him. He said he'd been figuring how to tell me for a few weeks."
"Damn" Liz said, nodding. "He gave you the out you were looking for. Did you at least pretend to be hurt?"
They both laughed.
"I was honest with him and told him I'd asked to see him cause I wanted to end things too. But he knew from the beginning that my heart was elsewhere."
Liz put down her glass of wine on the coffee table and scooted closer to Joss on the couch.
"Elsewhere with who?"
Joss looked past Liz to John and Sam who were in the adjacent room. They were in conversation, but she didn't want to risk Sam overhearing what she told Liz. She lowered her voice.
"With John. One of my Secret Service agents. Don't turn around."
Liz had involuntarily started to turn her head and snapped it back as soon as Joss squeezed her hand. "The tall one with the big feet?"
Joss nearly screamed in laughter at her question. "Yes."
"For how long? Give me all the details, girl. I can't believe you been holding out on me like this."
"Wow," Liz said after Joss had told her about her and John had formed a connection almost as soon as they met. "Joss, I'm so happy for you, but how are you going to have this relationship and still run for president?"
Joss shrugged. It was a question that neither she nor John had a clear answer to.
"We're figuring it out. Shedding this relationship with Ian was the first step, but I'm gonna need your help, cause I want to take another."