TRIGGER WARNINGS: The following themes are in this fic: self-harm, addiction, homophobia, abuse, abandonment, self-destructive behaviors and thoughts, suicidal thoughts. If you are not into serious angst, depression and dark fics, feel free to skip this one.

Chapter 13: Coming Up for Air: POV Blaine

In the following week since his mother and father disowned him, he had cancelled everything he could. He told his tutoring supervisor that he was feeling overwhelmed and needed the week to regroup, and because she had never witnessed Blaine in sweatpants, on school grounds, she said yes. She and all his other supervisors, professors, and classmates were worried about him. Blaine Anderson, the person who was always put together, never missed a class, and was essentially perfect, was a mess. He had missed most of his classes, and the classes he did show up to he dazed through. He hadn't even showered. He was hurting, and after he let the flood gates open, they didn't stop. He hadn't been able to hold food down because it would come up in the midst of one of his many emotional episodes. He couldn't sleep because the trauma had been brought back to the surface after the year's he spent avoiding it. He was now allowing himself to feel and be angry and be sensitive and process through all the shit.

Sunday, one week since that day, he woke up on the bathroom floor, not remembering how he got there. And for the first-time in a week, felt the strength to get into the shower. He showered, and after showering got dressed in sweatpants and a t-shirt. He, for the first time in a week, made himself a piece of toast and some coffee with a dash of cinnamon in it just how he liked it. He sat down at the chair he kept by the large window in his living room and looked outside at the changing leaves. Virginia had always been beautiful during the fall season, and it seemed to look even prettier today. Blaine sipped his coffee and for the first time in a week didn't feel like throwing up. He took a deep breath, and realized it was time. It was time to put himself back together. Blaine decided that this week, the week of his senior homecoming at CBU, would be the first week where he lived life for himself. He would go to a karaoke bar, and got to parties, and meet actual friends and for once he would live life to have fun.

He was without a purpose and now angry at the fact that he had chosen to study business, and had lost his hobby's and passions, and he truly had no clue who he had become. But he was going to try this week to live and not grieve. He knew there was more to life and that he needed to do what he wanted. He was no longer living to impress, and he was excited because for the first time in his life he could just be himself all the time not just in the moments he was alone.

It was Tuesday, and he had sent out several emails the day before to apologize for his absence. He had told his tutees, coworkers, supervisors, and professors that he had lost someone close to him and needed the last week to grieve but that he was excited for homecoming and that the rest of the semester he would achieve according to their expectations. Everyone at CBU was relieved, because Blaine was the kind of student who rarely missed class or had a bad day, and therefore, it was good to hear he was feeling better and back on his feet. He was getting dressed and he was dressing in what he wanted to wear and in what he would feel good in. He picked a pair of black jeans, and a thin black turtleneck long sleeve with a red cardigan and red leather belt. He then added a pair of black converse sneakers. It was a fun look, and even though he still hadn't really slept and felt weak from not eating he felt it made him look young and fresh. He was excited for today, especially because he would be tutoring the one and only Kurt Hummel. He hadn't forgotten about those Ocean eyes during his week of grieving and now that he was living life for him the possibilities were endless.

7pm came around and Blaine greeted Kurt as he sat down across from him. He of course apologized for his absence last week and then asked Kurt what he needed help with. With midterms being right around the corner, Kurt didn't waste any time getting into aggregate annual budget analyses. The end of the session came, and Blaine thought to himself, "courage." And then went for it.

"Okay Kurt, this was a great session. Thanks again for being understanding about last week." Kurt looked at him nervously and said, "Well Blaine, I guess I should be honest. You were kind of the talk of campus last week. Everyone was really concerned about you, saying how you are one of the brightest students here. So, I'm happy you are back and well."

Blaine was overwhelmed and said, "Thank you Kurt. And since we are being honest can I ask you a question, not as your tutor, but as an acquaintance?" Kurt looking surprised and said, "Sure. What's up?" Blaine could feel his hands get sweaty.

"Would you like to be my date to a homecoming party on Friday? I know we really don't know each other, and I am your tutor, but I couldn't think of anyone to bring, and I really don't do parties, and was wondering if you'd want to. We could just go as friends or whatever and I'm sorry if me asking you makes you feel uncomfortable, saying how you've really only interacted with me as your tutor and I'm going to stop rambling." He was out of breath and nervous and as he asked, he could see Kurt's face get increasingly redder and his eyes lower. He waited.

Kurt took a couple of second to compose himself, and then looked up at Blaine. "Blaine, that's really nice of you, and honestly, I'm not really a party goer myself, but you are really sweet and so, sure I'll go with you. Why not? Plus, it'll be nice to have someone to spend my first homecoming with." Blaine wanted to jump up and down. He sat up a little straighter, and said, "Okay, perfect. You sure you feel comfortable? I really don't want to make you feel uncomfortable. I will of course still tutor you no matter what, I'm not that kind of person. I just want to be sure…" Kurt promptly cut him off by saying in a confident voice, "Blaine, I'm fine with it. It'll be fun, and it'll be cool to see you out having fun and not tutoring me. You are fine. Here, lets exchange numbers" They exchanged phones and created their contact.

Blaine said bye to Kurt and watched him walk out of the building. As soon as Kurt was gone Blaine got up from the table and couldn't help but do a mini happy dance. Fuck it! He was actually going to pursue a crush! He was tired of living like he was a 'disease'. He was living now as himself. And Blaine Anderson just got a date to a party on Friday night with the prettiest boy on campus.