The silence between you two as your words fell and processed seemed to last forever. You couldn't bear to lift your head out of the sheets to look at him.
Draco mumbled softly at you. "What? You can't mean that."
You inhaled sharply, and finally plucked up the courage to sit upright and face him.
"Draco...Those things you said to me were absolutely horrendous. Not to mention all this secret keeping you're always do. I'm scared you're involved in something you don't want me to know about..." you admitted.
"I..I didn't mean any of that."
"I think you did. And if you didn't, you said it just to be mean. Which is also terrible."
Draco's face hung in pain and disbelief.
"But I love you," he whispered.
His words punched through your chest and squeezed on your heart until you wanted to double over into a ball.
"You wouldn't do that to someone you love."
"I was just scared," he spat. He was clearly grasping at anything he could to get you to stay.
He launched himself towards you and held onto your face. He lifted your head up so that your face was level with his. He whispered your name over and over, trying to stifle any sobs that were threatening to rise.
"Draco...You have so much good in you. I am always flooded by your light. But you cannot see that in yourself. And it makes you cruel sometimes, careless, and indignant. I can't fix you. I worry that you see me as someone who's in your life to fix you. Only you can do that. So, I won't sit here and be talked to the way you've talked to me. And I won't stand by while you try to use me as stepping stone to become a better person. You're capable of all of that without me."
Draco looked too stunned to speak. His hands slowly dropped from your face and onto the bed in front of you. He blinked relentlessly and pushed himself back away from you. He curled his knees to his chest and hugged them tight, staring down onto the bed.
"Stay with me," he choked, barely audible.
Against all better judgment, you said to him, "I'll stay for a few more minutes, but I mean it, Draco. We can't keep seeing each other."
He crumbled downward into the mattress, gaze fixated on the ceiling above. You curled yourself into the nook of his shoulder, and he held onto you tight. Tight like you might dissolve away if he hadn't. Tight like the warmth of his embrace might persuade you to stay. Tight like he had to make sure that you were real, and this wasn't some seething nightmare taunting his rest.
Whatever his reasoning was, you let him hold you. He stroked you hair gently, and you fell into a deep state of comfort. For a moment, reprieve washed over you, and your own personal nightmare had begun to vanish. That was the thing about your living nightmares, though. They always came back. Like a boggart that had just been Ridikkulused; it would always go back to it's original form some time. Your parents, your guilt, Draco. It would always come flooding back. You held on to the sanctity that with each passing day, the flooding would lessen and lessen until it was no longer a threat to drowning you.
You had woken up in a haze, not realizing that you ever fell asleep. Draco was still awake, still stroking your hair. When you stirred, he shifted to look down at you.
"How long was I asleep?" you asked.
"An hour or two."
You unstuck yourself from his grasp and sat up a little. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to fall asleep."
"I didn't mean to put you to sleep. I'd forgotten how playing with your hair knocks you right out."
"Right...Well, I should get going."
You started to roll over when you felt two hands cling on to your hips and lift your whole body on top of his. You looked down at Draco with a bit of annoyance, but mostly confusion.
"What are you doing?" you asked.
"One more for the road?" he suggested. A devilish expression touched the corners of his lips. Like in a trance, you found it near impossible to say no to Draco Malfoy. Giving him your answer, you pressed your lips down into him, and you felt his soft bulge start to twitch up in excitement.
His lips were careful on yours, taking photographs of the moment. Your lips lingered on the side of his throat, doing the same. You could feel the drumming of his quickened pulse inside of your mouth, vibrating like an endless summer concert. His fingers trailed down your back, counting each vertebrae and remembering their specific shapes. His full erection was now throbbing upwards and hitting the folds of your cunt, asking to be let in. Your hands coiled through the tufts of his hair, taking in the sensations of the softness, the length.
Your lips trailed down his collarbone and through the rolling hills of his chest. Your mouth marked pinpoints of your favorite places on a map. You positioned yourself between his legs and took his length in your mouth like a prized dessert you wanted to savor. The decadence swirled and melted in your mouth, and you groaned into him.
Draco's hips bucked upward, pushing himself further down your throat. You bobbed your head back up for air, thick pools of saliva dribbled down his shaft. You spread them further with your hand, savoring Draco's cries of pleasure.
You continued to move your head up and down along his length, coiling your tongue around every inch, leaving nothing neglected. You spent extra time circling his spongy end, sliding your tongue over the slit on his head. You lapped up the small squirts of precum, storing the salty taste into the depths of your memory.
The tips of his fingers seared permanent scars on the side of your head as they dug in, pushing your head deeper into him. His hands migrated from your head to the small of your back as he flipped you over onto your back. He took no time in switching places with you as he kissed your delicate center.
His hot breath tickled your clit just before his tongue snaked out to taste you. The familiar work he did on your cunt deepened your relaxation into the mattress. His mouth suctioned around your neediest part, rotating between sucking and licking, relishing in distinguishing every flavor. His own saliva mixed together with your flooding arousal until you felt like a pool. He closed his eyes as if focusing every other sense of his on lapping you up.
Draco removed himself slowly, his eyes unbreaking from yours. His stare traced all around your body. Even though you were broken up, your mind immediately raced to those words you told him a few weeks ago. You felt safe.
Draco grabbed your legs and held them together, hoisting them to rest on his shoulder as he sunk into you. His arms held onto your legs as he thrust in and out meticulously. Moans thudded through your chest and crawled out of your throat as your body tried to readjust to his girth once again. You were still a little sore from earlier, but he worked inside of you with ease. The tender kisses he planted along the side of your calf warmed you and spread through, relaxing you even further.
He moistened his thumb and began to rub your clit, taking away the remembrance of the ache in your walls. Draco started to pulse a little faster, sucking in through clenched teeth. When he exhaled, it came out shakily, almost like he was holding back tears.
He pulled out of you and plopped down onto his back again. It was becoming increasingly hard to look at him, so you faced away and lowered yourself onto him. As the force of your cheeks came down onto his hips, you felt his breaths become more uneven. His hands explored around every inch of you ass, caressing it with a certain care and smoothness. One hand's touch disappeared, and you knew where it went when it returned a moment later. A slick thumb started to run over your even more sore other opening. You whipped your head around at him and threw him a cautious look. As if he could read your mind, he whispered, "Don't worry." You surrendered your full trust.
He kept his thumb circling around your taut entrance as you hastened your pace on him. All the rushing pleasure caused you to cry out, in more way than one. Tears began to stream down your face as you relinquished your hold on your relationship with Draco.
Somehow, fluidly, Draco rolled you over and flipped you around so you were face down on the bed. He slid back into you instantly, holding himself there for a brief moment. You groaned out into the pillow as he rocked in and out. Both of his hands grasped your hips, driving your body closer into his.
As you edged towards climax, more tears formed. You didn't want it to end. You wished you could live in one singular, picturesque moment with Draco forever.
Draco pounded into you harder, guttural sounds breaking through the gates of his teeth until he finally spilled inside of you. He collided down onto the spongy mattress trying to catch his breath. Your face was still buried in the pillows. The tears hadn't stopped. You felt Draco stand up from the bed, and you peered over your shoulder to see what he was doing. He cast Incendio on the fireplace, and a deep warmth instantly enveloped you.
Draco placed himself next to you and pulled your body into his, holding you as you sobbed.
The inevitable question finally popped from his mouth as you steadied yourself.
"What does this mean?" he asked.
"We're still done, Draco. It's what needs to happen. That doesn't mean that this doesn't hurt like hell."
Draco kissed the back of your shoulder gently before removing himself from you. He crossed the room to the bathtub and started to run it. When he was satisfied with the temperature, he began to put his clothes back on. He came back over to the bed, leaned down to you, and kissed your cheek.
"Enjoy the bath. Thank you, for always believing in me. For trusting me," he said earnestly.
Without another word, he disappeared out the doors, but not out of your heart.
A/N: This chapter is much shorter than previous ones. I'll be honest, I kinda couldn't stop crying while writing this, and I mulled over the content for days. I feel that keeping it shorter is actually better for what I wanted to portray. I hope you all enjoyed!