Chapter 14

Kiss Me Goodbye

I can handle it, Jake, Seth whined, scuffing his paw on the ground and pacing in a circle.

I don't know, Seth, it'll take some sharp thinking. A lot of information must be gathered and shared in a short amount of time. It'll take some craftiness to do that. If the answer isn't plain to see, it'll take some imagination to find it. We only have this one shot, and if we don't get it right, we'll all be facing death because as far as I can see... all other roads lead to Italy. I'm thinking about going myself, Jacob revealed.

Someone likes to toot his own horn, Leah barked.

Jacob rumbled, don't get wise, snapping at her.

Come on, Leah, back me up here. You know I can handle it. I'm a fast thinker and convincing, Seth yapped frantically. I accomplish anything I put my mind to. Remember, Dad always said I had a gift for thinking outside the box. Plus, I notice things most people would never see.

Leah scrutinized Seth's argument. It's true, Jacob, he is very perceptive. I'm sure he could spot anything we need him to. He also has a niche for staying calm, and that'll keep him thinking clearly. Leah licked Seth's ear showing her support but concealing the fact she'd prefer Seth locked up somewhere in the states if they ended up having to go to Italy. I may not like it, but I say let him go.

Quil and Embry are okay with me going. Aren't you, guys?

Quil and Embry barked their approval.

What do you say, Jacob? Seth whined in a begging manner.

All right, you convinced me. Jacob howled. Now let's see if we can convince Sam.

Jacob passed the information River gave him to Sam before the meeting to give him time to share it with his pack. They met with Sam and the rest of the wolves in the trees beside Sam's house.

Maybe it's best if someone from my pack goes. That way more of us can see what we need to know, Sam suggested.

Seth won't take no for an answer. He's tough and has a sharp head on his shoulders. He's seen my conversation with River, so he knows exactly what to look for. I'm sure he'll do a tremendous job, Jacob thought. Leah knows him better than any of us. She's sure he's the right one to send.

If you're sure about Seth, I trust your judgment. Just make sure you give me good descriptions of what Seth knows so I could pass it on accurately, Sam reminded him.

Sam, we also have to consider the fact they might outnumber us too much to even attempt a rescue, and if that's the case, we'll just have to go to Italy.

That thought occurred to me, too, but we'll cross that bridge if it comes. Just try to think positive, Jacob. We'll meet up with you, Leah, Quil, and Embry as soon as Seth gives us the call to let us know he's leaving, and we'll plan it as it comes.

Sam suggested everyone go home, sleep or spend the rest of the time with their families.

Jacob, walk with me to my house.

You guys go on without me, I'll catch up... Sam wants to talk.

Leah whipped around, snarling at Sam.

Calm down, Leah! I'm sure he doesn't want to talk about you. Jacob woofed and trotted away with Sam.

Tell me about her, Jacob.

She's ready. Her main concern was telling River and wondering if he could accept it. Somehow those problems vanished.Jacob paused, contemplating the quickness of River's acceptance. It's just meant to be.

Sam yelped loudly in Jacob's ear. He jumped away, startled. Jeezus, Sam. Sorry. Anyway, from listening to her today, I know she can focus now.

It delighted Charlie when Jacob asked for Bella's number. He explained he was running out of excuses for Jacob not calling her yet.

"Here's my phone. It's no problem. I know Bells will be so glad to hear from you." Charlie left the kitchen, telling Jacob he would give him some privacy. Raven was about to follow Charlie's lead. Jacob clutched her hand and coaxed her back into the kitchen. "You don't have to leave. Stay with me."

"Are you sure?"

"Yup." Smiling wiry, he wrapped an arm around her and held her against him, while he waited in apprehension for someone on the other end to pick up. It relieved him when Carlisle answered the phone. "Just the man I wanted to speak with," Jacob greeted.

Carlisle stayed quiet until Jacob explained everything to him then said, "I feel awful about this, Jacob."

"You shouldn't. We're all as much to blame. To tell you the truth, I don't think we'd do anything much different given the chance."

"Nonetheless, on behalf of my entire family, I want to apologize. What can we do to help?"

Carlisle sounded concerned as he agreed to deliver the message to the Volturi of the Romanian's intentions. "Are you sure there is nothing more we could do for you, Jacob?"

"We have it covered. I'm positive we could handle it by ourselves. Besides, I don't want to place any members of your family back in danger. Too much of that has already gone around," Jacob said sincerely. "Just make sure we have time to get our family to safety before anyone from the Volturi calls upon the Romanians. Sue will contact Bella when we're ready for them to know."

"Do you want to talk to Renesmee now?" Carlisle asked.

"Sure, put Nessie on." Jacob relaxed his hold on Raven, turned his head away from her and stared out the window, stressed. This'll be harder than I thought.

"Jacob, you called," Nessie bellowed. "Mom and I really miss you."

By the sound of her voice, it was clear she'd grown so much since the last time he'd seen her. "I miss you, too, kid. Tell me everything you've been doing over there."

He continued to face the window, wondering if Raven could detect his apprehension as he listened to Nessie gush over her new friend Nahuel, the half vampire-half human Carlisle was studying. She told Jacob all about the hunts he took her on and gushed about what a good baseball player he was. "He's super-fast. I think he's stronger than Uncle Emmett, even," she bragged. "He's really fun. You'd like him, Jacob."

"Is he more fun than me?"

"Um, it's a tie." She giggled.

Jacob grinned, brimming with contentment from knowing Nessie was happy and having a fantastic time. He honestly missed her. When she was all out of stories to tell him, he assured her he would call again soon then asked to speak with Bella.

After Bella gave him an ear beating about not calling sooner, she updated him on the affairs of the entire family. Jacob yawned. "Carlisle has learned so much about Renesmee from studying Nahuel. He's great, fits right in with the family and everyone seems to get along very well with his family."

"Good, I'm glad to hear everything's going well for you guys. I could tell by how Nessie sounded, she's having a ball. What's it like where you're at?" Jacob asked out of curiosity.

"It's beautiful and the hunting's fantastic. Why do you ask?"

"No reason in particular. Just wondering."

Bella's voice lowered with concern. "I know how you like to worry, Jacob, but there's no need. Renesmee is perfect. Trust me, she's well taken care of and is growing healthy and happy."

Then Bella began to press for answers about Jacob and Carlisle's discussion, and Jacob knew it was time to end the conversation with her. "Carlisle will explain everything. Now it's my turn to tell you, there's no need for you to worry. I miss you guys, and I promise to call more often from now on."

"You better. You had Nessie thinking you didn't care about her anymore."

Jacob winced. "Ouch! Way to make a guy feel guilty for something that's your fault. Typical Bella."

Bella laughed softly. "You're right, that was hitting below the belt. I'll make sure she knows how much you care about her. You just make sure you call."

"Agreed. Talk to you soon and tell Eddy I said hi. Oh, make sure you hassle Blondie for me, put some purple dye in her shampoo or something."

Jacob hung up the phone and stood motionless for an instant. Here goes everything, again. He took a deep breath then turned toward Raven, intentionally delving deep into her eyes and waiting to feel the fallout.

The adoring glimmer—the one that manifested the intense feelings she had for him—reflected from her, encapsulating his desire. "Huh, nothing's changed," he thought out loud, running a hand through his hair in bewilderment. "I still want to."

"Still want to what?" Raven asked, with a puzzled expression.

He impulsively wound himself around her, letting his confused tension dissolve in the swirling lusciousness of her mouth, grateful he continued to want to be with her. It slipped his mind they were in Charlie's kitchen until he heard Charlie entering the room. "Hey, Charlie, we're just leaving and, ah, thanks for the phone call."

"Sure. Anytime." Charlie chuckled. "I think."

Jacob glanced at Raven. Her cheeks were crimson, and she looked pretty pissed.

"What? What'd I do?" he shrugged, playing innocent and stifling a laugh as they walked out the door.

"Oh, shut up."

Abby was back from her morning obligations and cooking when Raven and Jacob returned. River and Leah sat in the living room getting to know more about each other.

"Are you hungry, Jacob?" Raven asked him.

"Not really. I'll eat, though, since your mom's going through the trouble."

"I promised Kristy I would go to the mall with her today, but I'm not in a shopping mood. I may as well call and tell her I can't. I haven't been able to spend any time with River yet," Raven said.

"Well, you better be ready to fight Leah for him," Jacob joked. "Anyhow, we'll be leaving in a few hours and I hoped I could hang out with you until then. If that's okay? Besides, Billy practically kicked me out the door this morning. It's helping him to think we're already on our way to get Rachel."

Raven's smile wilted and her shoulders drooped. Jacob leaned back surprised at her reaction to his question. "Did I say something wrong?"

"I'm sorry, Jacob. Go to the mall. What was I thinking? I was trying to pretend this day was normal. I do that sometimes, pretend nothing's wrong. It helps me get by. I probably got that from Mom."

Her heart began to thump. Jacob reached for her, and her eyes welled with tears. "I'm scared, Jacob. I don't want to think about it."

"Shh... Raven," he whispered, his mind racing with ways to comfort her.

She pressed her fingers against her temples and closed her eyes. Based on the panic and fear he sensed emanating from her, he knew she was about to lose it. Jacob took her hands away from her head and brought them down to her sides. He put his arm around her to calm her.

"I didn't mean to make you cry," he whispered, wondering how they would explain Raven's behavior to Abby, should she walk in at any moment.

"Everything will be just fine. I promise, especially now with River's help. It'll be way easier than we first thought. Remember, we've done this before, no problem. It's what we exist for."

"I c-can't, Jacob," she stammered.

Jacob glanced at River and Leah as they sat together across the room, absorbed in their conversation.

He clasped Raven by the arm and took her down to her bedroom. Once they got inside, Raven flung her arms around him, and broke down sobbing. What the hell? He wasn't prepared to deal with this reaction from her. "It's not really that bad," he claimed, attempting to comfort her. "Hey, there are enough of us to handle anything. We'll be back before you know it. I promise, and I'll come straight here."

"I don't want to lose you," she cried. "I know I'm going to lose you."

He lifted her chin trying to wipe away her tears. "No, you won't."

She cinched her eyes closed and buried her face in the crook of his neck, refusing to listen to him. "Yes, I am, Jacob. I know it!" She sobbed.

He clamped his own lips together to keep from telling her he wouldn't go just to get her to stop crying and stroked her hair until her tears at last subsided. It was all he could think of to do, because nobody ever cried for him before when he faced danger. Eventually, she pulled away from him and wiped her face dry. "I'm sorry, Jacob. I didn't mean to do that. Just feeling super stressed, I guess. I really wish you didn't have to go."

"But I have to go."

"I know you do, and I shouldn't have done that with everything else you need to focus on."

Even though she was a mess, she still looked sweet and he could see how hard she was trying. They sat in silence for a few minutes. Then with her sad smile, she asked, "So, should we go do something until then?"

"We could go hang out at the beach for a while, just to get away from the woods if you don't think it's too cool out?" Jacob suggested.

"No, it's always warm with you." She sniffled, struggling to relax.

A dark whirling mass of clouds hovered far over the ocean, miles off the coast. The rest of the overcast sky glowed silver from the sun, and the ocean waves gently crashed against the shore. The beach filled up with surfers, but nobody was surfing.

Jacob and Raven sat in the sand, along the shoreline close to the water, talking and laughing. He forgot all of his problems for a moment just as he did most times, he was with her and concluded it was another reason he enjoyed being with her. He gestured toward the dark sky. "Everyone's waiting for that storm to get closer. It'll bring some huge waves when it does, but its moving way too slow. I bet it won't get here until way after nightfall. It might not even get here until close to the morning."

Raven glared at the ocean, stating, "I wish I knew how to surf."

"You mean you can't surf?" Jacob acted surprised. "That's ridiculous. You should be ashamed of yourself. In fact, I don't know if I can go out with you anymore," he teased.

Raven giggled. "I'm serious, Jacob. I really want to learn to surf."

"Well, if you're really serious, I can teach you. I used to surf until I got my growth spurt, so I haven't been out there in a while myself. It seems like I'm always in the woods these days. Actually, I am always in the woods these days."

Jacob picked up some rocks from the gritty shore, walked out into the ocean, and tossed them, one by one, into the gentle foaming waves. His mind drifted to Raven's breakdown and how distraught she looked. If this was any sign of how she would react when he couldn't be with her anymore? It's gonna be terrible.

Quil and Leah were right.

He wished he could tell her about the imprinting, but she cringed every time she heard the word, and he wouldn't force the information on her. He decided he would pull away from her subtly, however long that might take to make the separation as painless as possible. Though he loved her, he realized saying it was a mistake. Not because she didn't say it back, but because he already knew who the future had in store for him. He promised himself he would not say it again. Every time he tried to make the situation better, he ended up making it worse.

"Yup, I really think it's time," he said, turning toward Raven, "that I get back out there and surf again."

Raven let out a breathy gust of air and burst out laughing.

"What is it?" He smiled, bemused by her behavior.

She couldn't seem to stop herself from laughing and tears came to her eyes. Finally, she gained control of herself and took another deep breath. "Just a wicked, wicked déjà vu." She chuckled. "Don't ask. I'm really losing it, aren't I?"

He sat back down beside her and pulled her into him. "Yeah, but I love you anyway." Ah, hell! He turned away, grimacing just before he heard the howling call of a wolf. "Seth's leaving. We better get back."

As Jacob walked Raven to the door, he could see the worry starting to re-emerge on her expression and hear her fearful heart pound. "Tell Leah I'll meet her across the street and promise me you'll do your best not to worry." He kissed her goodbye, pouring into it as much love and reassurance as possible.