Lois and Tyrion had reached the pass that led into the Vale. Lois's brother Patrick Pewtershmidt came to greet them. "Lois. What are you doing here? Does Carol know you're coming?"
"There was no time to send word ahead," Lois told him.
Patrick looked at Tyrion. "Isn't that the queen's brother? Why did you bring him here?"
"I brought him here to stand trial for attempted murder. He tried to kill my Stewie."
"No, I didn't," said Tyrion.
"Okay, I'll take you up the mountain," said Patrick.
"I'll come as well," announced Bronn the sellsword.
Lois didn't like that idea. She had seen him riding beside Lannister far too often, talking in low voices and laughing at some private joke. But Bronn had helped bring Tyrion here, and she could see no gracious way to refuse him.
Patrick led them up the mountain. "So, how's Carol doin'?" Lois asked as they walked.
"It's hard since her husband died. She's different now. And then there's the boy. Eight years old, but he acts like he's four."
Finally, they got up the mountain and went into the castle at the top, the Eyrie. It was said it could house five hundred men, but it seemed strangely deserted to Lois as she passed through it, its pale stone halls echoing and empty.
They went in the throne room, where Lady Carol West and her son were. "Hello, Carol," said Lois. "Hello, Robert."
"I'm not Robert!" said the boy. "I'm Robin!"
"I thought they named you after the king," said Lois.
"No, that would be too confusing. My name's Robin." As Lois stared, Robin put a pacifier in his mouth and started sucking it. Not a grown-up pacifier, a baby's pacifier.
"Have you taken leave of your senses?" Carol snapped. "Why did you bring him here?" she demanded, indicating Tyrion. "Without a word of permission, without so much as a warning, to drag us into your quarrels with the Lannisters!"
"It seems to me you're the one draggin' me into your quarrels," said Lois. "You sent me that letter sayin' the Lannisters had murdered your husband."
"To warn you, so you could stay away from them! I never meant to fight them! Gods, Lois, do you know what you've done?"
"There ya go again. Always talkin' down to me, just like when we were kids."
Robin started to cry. "Quiet!" Carol snapped at Lois. "You're scaring the boy."
"I'm not scared of her. I'm scared of the little baby man," Robin said.
"Watch who you call a baby," said Tyrion. "I'm not the one using a pacifier."
"Can we make him fly?" Robin asked eagerly.
Carol stroked her son's hair. "Perhaps we will," she murmured. "Perhaps that is just what we will do."
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Peter was walking down the street in King's Landing when he met Jaime Lannister. "Hey Griffin, I heard your wife kidnapped my brother!" Jaime said angrily.
"Well, your brother tried to have my son killed!" Peter said back.
They started fighting with swords, trying to hit each other!
Jaime stabbed Peter in the leg!
Peter came crashing down in the mud!
There was a moment of blinding pain and a taste of blood in his mouth.
The next thing Peter knew, he was lying in a bed. Grand Maester Pycelle was standing over him and saying, "Gtgtgtadgsfdaf ;slsvl;kdam wasm."
The king and queen came in. "Your grace," Peter said weakly. "Your pardons. I cannot rise."
"No matter," the king said gruffly.
"What happened?" Peter asked. "My head is killin' me."
"A man in your position should count himself fortunate that his head is still on his shoulders," Cersei declared.
"Quiet, woman," Robert snapped. He brought Peter a cup of wine. "Here. This always helps me when I'm injured. Does your leg still pain you?"
"Some," Peter said.
"Pycelle swears it will heal clean." Robert frowned. "At least that's what I think he said. I take it you know what Lois has done?"
"By what right do you dare lay hands on my blood?" Cersei demanded. "Who do you think you are?"
"I think I'm Peter Griffin."
"Is this how you keep my peace, Peter?" said Robert. "You will write to your wife and command her to release the dwarf at once, and you will make your peace with Jaime."
"You should have him executed," Cersei said. "Jaime and Tyrion are your brothers by the laws of marriage. If somebody did that to the brothers of a Targaryen, he would not hesitate to kill them."
"Do you take me for Aerys?" Robert interrupted.
"I take you for a king. You need to act like one!"
He slapped her. "I shall wear this bruise as a badge of honor," she announced.
"Wear it in silence, or I'll honor you again," Robert vowed.
Cersei left and Robert poured himself a cup of wine from the same flagon he'd served Peter from. "You see what she does to me, Peter. My loving wife. The mother of my children." The rage was gone from him now; in his eyes Peter saw something sad and scared. "I should not have hit her. That was not… that was not kingly."
"Your grace," Peter Griffin said. "We gotta talk…"
Robert pressed his fingertips against his temples. "I am sick unto death of talk. On the morrow I'm going to the kingswood to hunt. Whatever you have to say can wait until I return."
"I thought ya told me to go back to Winterfell."
Robert pulled Peter's Hand badge from his pocket and tossed it on the bed. "Like it or not, you are my Hand, damn you. I forbid you to leave. Put on the badge, Peter. It suits you. And if you ever throw it in my face again, I swear to you, I'll pin the damned thing on Jaime Lannister."