Lamp Entertainment presents…

Chapter 14: Candy, Clothes, and Mistletoes

Back on Earth…

December 14th.

Our heroes in Beach City remained blissfully ignorant of the dramatic goings-on up in space. They were busy facing a crisis of their own; Amethyst had eaten all of the gingerbreads. All three hundred of them.

And all of the saffron buns. And the ice chocolate. And the toffee. And all of the limited edition caramel & cranberry donuts Citizen Dewey had gifted them. Really, it was a miracle there was any food left in the house. If Pearl hadn't discovered her raiding the fridge and physically restrained her that morning, they wouldn't have had any ham or Christmas root beer left either.

So the Crystal Gem household was in desperate need of more candy and snacks. Hence, the entire team was gathered that day, ready to spend the entire day baking and cooking. It was a team effort. Not quite the same thing as taking on the gem empire or fighting an army of light constructs, but still. Baking wasn't easy.

Garnet was making saffron buns. Her favorite part was putting the raisins in at each end. Pearl was making the gingerbreads. She didn't use any molds but preferred to cut her own. Much more symmetrical that way. Steven mostly did the ice chocolate. Bismuth had declared herself in charge of "anything hot," but she spent most of her time hanging out with Pearl and only occasionally handling the ovens. Connie spent a lot of time either helping others out or making figures out of marzipan. Greg made lunch, a soup based on a recipe from his aunt. He was also in charge of supplying a near-constant stream of hot chocolate.

Amethyst spent the morning and most of the noon chained to the wall until she learned her lesson. Around lunchtime, the Crystal Gems finally relented and let her loose. She was allowed to handle the toffee station as long as she didn't eat any of it.

Peridot and Lapis Lazuli were there too, of course. Peridot was having way too much fun "perfecting" her Christmas crackers. Some of her laughs brought to mind not a cheerful elf, but a mischievous gremlin.

Lapis mostly floated between stations, helping out with whatever she felt like. She particularly liked to make shapes out of gingerbread and marzipan, as well as helping Bismuth design a grand gingerbread house. It took Steven a while to convince them that they shouldn't try to build an actual house of gingerbread and that only evil witches did that.

The stereo was blasting classic Christmas songs. Peridot made a comment about wanting to boost the output and very nearly got herself chained to the wall besides Amethyst for it.

In honor of the day, everyone was wearing something Christmas related. Bismuth, Amethyst, and Connie were wearing simple Santa hats, though Connie had to take her off after a while as the kitchen got very hot with all the activity. Steven and Greg were wearing matching sweaters with pictures of Santa Claus. Pearl was also wearing her own sweater, green spruces against a dark blue background. Garnet had somehow managed to balance a Santa hat and a strand of glitter on top of her large hair and get it to stay there (Amethyst was halfway convinced she had glued it stuck). Last but not least, we have Lapis and Peridot, who were, of course, the most extravagant of them all. Something that surprised absolutely no one.

Peridot was wearing a red and white Christmas dress, similar to the one she wore at Ruby and Sapphire's wedding. She had also, with a little help and a few curses managed to wrap a light strand around the dress. The multi-colored lights were blinking softly. It made her look a bit like a Christmas tree. All that was missing was a star to balance on top of her hair. Though no one mentioned it to her. She really didn't need any more good ideas.

Lapis costume… well, it was… something.

She had dragged Peridot along to go shopping for clothes in Empire City only a few days prior. And she had found a lot that tickled her particular brand of fancy. Socks, sweaters, costumes, and accessories… she could not settle for one thing. So she bought it all.

Instead of her usual golden sandals, she was wearing a pair of Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer socks. She had found what might've been the ugliest sweater for sale in Empire City. It was dark red, with a picture of a penguin. The penguin was also wearing a sweater which was only marginally less ugly. Over the sweater, she wore a bright green suit jacket decorated with large snowflakes, Santa hats, and candy canes. On her head, she had a diadem with small reindeer horns, and on her nose, a bright red Rudolph nose. Peridot got her hands on it, and after a few minutes of mad laughter, it was now glowing. If need be, it could really be used as a spotlight to light the way through a dark snowstorm. She was also wearing a pair of really ugly Christmas briefs under her pants, but she wasn't planning on showing them to anyone. Not any of the Crystal Gems anyway.

The outfit was opulent in how trashy it was. It was a shameless display, pure indulgence on Lapis' part. She delighted in seeing her friends and family wince every time they laid their eyes upon her hideous new form. This was not a mistake. She knew what she was doing.

Lapis had actually brought a pair of pants, a shirt, and a tie that fit with the suit, which she was planning on wearing for Christmas. What she was doing right now? That was just for her entertainment.

There was another secret plan at work aside from Lapis' plan to torture her friends. The decidedly less evil master behind this ingenious plan was none other than Connie.

As you all know, the mistletoe is a sacred tradition. Any two people that find themselves under it during Christmas times had to kiss. Those were the rules. After each kiss, a berry was plucked from the mistletoe, and only when all the berries were gone may the kissing cease.

Well, wouldn't you know it, a wild mistletoe had suddenly appeared in the Crystal Gem household while no one was looking! What a mystery! Oh well, there was nothing that could be done about it now. And if Steven and Connie "accidentally" stepped underneath the mistletoe at the same time…

Connie was sitting on the sofa, sculpting marzipan pigs. She had strategically placed the mistletoe close-by, so when Steven stepped under it, she'd be the first one there. A flawless plan!

Except it wasn't. Because he failed to account for the fact that there were, you know… more people there. The house was bustling with activity and the mistletoe Connie had smuggled in only had four berries.

The first pair to step under the mistletoe was Lapis and Peridot. Peridot got curious about the strange plant that had seemingly come from nowhere, and she dragged Lapis along, without knowing the tradition. After Connie explained it to her, she paled and immediately tried to flee. Lapis caught her, and despite Peridot's protest, planted a small little kiss on her cheek.

"Ah! Gross!" Peridot shrieked. She spent the rest of the day pouting and wiping her cheek while refusing to speak to Lapis. At most, she hissed at her a few times. Lapis thought it was hilarious and would not stop giggling for hours.

The second pair was Bismuth and Pearl. Bismuth asked Pearl to help her move some baking trays, and whoops! They accidentally stepped under the mistletoe! Bismuth gave Pearl a kiss on her gem, which made Pearl drop a tray of fresh gingerbreads on the floor.

After Pearl and Bismuth got done cleaning up the mess they made, Garnet stepped under the mistletoe by herself. For a moment, she lit up in bright light, which then faded to reveal Ruby and Sapphire standing there, smooching each other for a good few minutes.

Ruby and Sapphire decided to stay separated for a while. Ruby roasted some almonds and Sapphire helped Steven with the ice chocolate. Occasionally, she'd turn in Connie's direction and smile a little.

At this point, Connie was getting desperate. There was only one berry left in the mistletoe, and Steven had yet to step under it. She had to do something!

"H-hey, Steven," she called. "Could you come and, uh… look at this pig! "she held up a half-formed marzipan pig. "It totally looks like Peridot!"

"Hm? Oh, sure," Steven said. He started walking towards Connie, moving painfully slowly.

"I wanna see it too!" Amethyst cried and ran towards Connie as well, and…

BAM!

She collided with Greg, who was carrying some of Peridot's Christmas crackers!

BOOM!

The crackers exploded in a large cloud of smoke and confetti! Various hats, presents, and treats flew everywhere!

Once the dust settled, Greg and Amethyst were lying in a tangled pile of limbs, hair, and presents from the cracker. They were right beneath the mistletoe.

"Oh, sorry dude," Amethyst said guiltily. She gave Greg an apologetic kiss on the bald spot on his head.

"No harm done," Greg chuckled with a smile.

Connie squeezed the marzipan pig into marzipan puree in her hand. Amethyst plucked the last berry from the mistletoe and threw it in her mouth. At another time, Connie might've felt obliged to tell her that mistletoe berries are poisonous, but for some reason, she didn't this time.

Steven sat down next to Connie and helped her finish up the last few marzipan figures. It was fun, sure, but there was an empty hole within Connie's poor lovesick heart.

Another hour passed by. The sun set and disappeared, leaving the house draped in darkness. Slowly but surely, each station finished up what they were doing. Ruby and Sapphire fused again. The last gingerbread and saffron bun were baked. The last ice chocolate and toffee was frozen. The final almond was roasted. The last gingerbread house in the shape of the Crystal Temple was finished, complete with little gingerbread version of the Crystal Gems themselves.

Finally, the last marzipan figure was done and dipped in melted chocolate.

However, before either Connie or Steven could stand up and go wash their hands, someone giggled behind them. They looked up and saw Garnet standing over them.

"Look what I found," she said with a broad smile. She held up a branch of mistletoe with a single berry on it.

Steven giggled and kissed the blushing Connie.

And so, at the end of the day, everyone was happy. Even Peridot had to admit that they'd had a very fun day together. All of the Crystal Gems sat gathered around the fireplace, drinking hot chocolate and munching on gingerbread cookies, too exhausted from a whole day's worth of hard work to do anything else but watch the flames dance before them.

AUTHOR'S NOTES

Fun Fact: Aside from the Rudolph nose and diadem, all the clothes I described Lapis wearing, I own.

Some eagle-eyed readers might've picked up on the little reference I made to the Light series of SU video games. I kinda wanted to do a little scene catching up with the antagonists from those games… but I thought of this idea kinda late, so I don't have any time… or anywhere to put it in this story…

So if any of you, my wonderful readers, are feeling creatively inclined tonight, here's a prompt for you; Hessonite, Pyrope, and Demantoid… and heck, throw in Squaridot too. They're all in the Palace of Light. And they do something funny. Like… maybe Hessonite is super excited to celebrate Christmas, to the point where she's annoying everyone else (but like, even more than she usually does).

Or maybe… Hessonite dresses up as Santa, and Demantoid and Squaridot see through it, but Pyrope is as oblivious as ever. So Squaridot and Demantoid begrudgingly team up to prove that Hessonite is the one dressing up as Santa. Hijinks ensue.