Silhouette

Part 1 - Control

Chapter 15 - Friendship

Krillin stared at the fishtank in his apartment and watched the different colored fish swim around practically aimlessly. He couldn't imagine living in a world so small. Back and forth constantly. Always to the same places. Never anything new.

Heh.

Then again, it might have been nice to live such a simple life. Considering all that had happened recently, Krillin could do without any more adventures falling into his lap. He wasn't even the one the craziness centered around or anything; he just insisted on being a part of it when his friend needed help.

Wincing, he glanced over at the television set where Marron sat glued to the screen. His daughter wore a pink dress with a long sleeved white shirt underneath it. She sat on her legs, which were bent and curled up on the rug, her bare feet showing the only sign of dirt on her. Well, that's what happened when she insisted on walking around barefoot everywhere - even when she visited the older neighbors next door for a daily treat of pudding.

Krillin sighed. Life sure had been simple before the city had gone up in smoke and Eighteen had experienced that weird malfunction and Goku had gotten all depressed because he'd lost control. He leaned back on the couch and twiddled his thumbs, trying to erase the image of his best friend looking so devastated after they'd called the Eternal Dragon. Shenron hadn't been much help beyond bringing the city back and wishing for everyone's memories - except for those who knew the truth - to be erased. Goku had gone home after that, but…

But Krillin couldn't shake the feeling that something awful would happen again sooner or later. Not after what he'd seen. He wanted to believe in his friend, but that nagging sensation in the back of his head said he should have paid more attention to the bursts of ki popping up near Goku's house yesterday. Should he swing by and check on them? Would Goku appreciate that? Or had he snapped again? Is that why he'd felt Vegeta over there too? And what had happened to make Goten's ki jump up so dramatically?

So many questions. He should call or something. Yet -

"Hmph," Eighteen murmured beside him on the couch, though her gaze was focused completely on Marron. "Are you dragging your feet for a reason?"

"Huh?" He blinked. "You think I'm - well maybe I am but -"

"You saw him when he snapped, right?" Eighteen turned her blue eyes on him. "That's why you're hesitating."

"Ah! Well, I mean -"

"I'm right, aren't I?"

"I didn't really think it through, but," he groaned, knowing he couldn't deny his fear, "yeah, I guess."

Eighteen sighed at him and nudged his arm. She didn't say anything else, but he could see the slight disappointment in her eyes. However, since she didn't say a word to him Krillin knew she could understand his hesitation. Seeing Goku act like that had really shaken him, even if he wanted to continue to support his friend.

This darker personality was going to rip things apart if they weren't careful. There had to be something he could do besides just sitting here. Check in with Chi-Chi and Goku? Call them like an annoying friend who wouldn't let them have time alone? But after everything he'd felt, that wouldn't be too bad, right? He'd be justified...right?

With a groan, Krillin reached up and ran fingers through his hair at a fast speed, getting faster with each brush. "Ah, man, this is driving me crazy!"

"Huh?" Marron asked from the rug. "What is?"

Looking up at her innocent eyes, Krillin froze his hands in place on top of his head and laughed awkwardly. "Oh. Nothing. Don't worry about it, firefly. Go back to your -"

A jerk of her head toward the door stopped his words, mostly because Marron climbed to her feet and rushed to the small apartment entryway without an explanation. "Who's at the door, Dad? Who would knock that softly, huh?"

"Knock?" He blinked, turning to Eighteen, who shrugged. "I didn't hear anything."

"I did! I did! Someone's here!"

His wife nodded at him to go check it out, so Krillin got to his feet and stuffed his hands in his loose corduroy pants pockets. His house shoes hit the floor with more force than intended as he frowned. He hadn't heard anyone knocking, and he couldn't really feel any obvious ki signatures either. Maybe he'd been so focused on the conversation and his thoughts, but he found it strange nonetheless.

Still, Marron seemed insistent enough. Her blond pigtails bounced as she hopped at the door, waiting for him. Considering the gravity of the recent situation, she had been less interested in opening the door for visitors herself. Which was a safe habit so he hadn't pressed her at any point. She'd get over that little fear eventually. Hopefully. Trauma could do crazy things to children, after all.

"Are you sure you heard something, Marron? I doubt anyone is actually -" he twisted the knob, opened the door halfway and then froze at the sight in front of him. "Oh. It's Goku. Hi."

"Hey, Krillin," Goku said, rubbing the back of his head. "Uhm. Do you think I could ask you for a favor?"

"Uh…"

At the sight of his best friend standing in his doorway, Krillin frowned. What was he doing here? Marron jumped back and hid behind Krillin almost immediately after the open door revealed their visitor. He couldn't blame her. Goku didn't exactly look inviting, or comforting, or warm and happy like his usual self. Plus Marron had been told by Goten not to stand too close to Goku.

Another thing he hoped would be solved with enough time. Marron was at an age old enough to remember the city being destroyed, but she hadn't seen Goku do that weird switching thing, so she didn't have as much trauma as, say, Goten, who had apparently witnessed something awful firsthand.

Still, his friend had come to him for help. So he shook off his fear and his worries, even as Marron hid behind him. Krillin put on a wide smile and held his hand out after opening the front door all the way.

"Yeah, sure, Goku, you don't really need to ask," he said. "Wanna come in and talk about whatever's eating you?"

"Heh." Goku shifted in place, obviously taking note of Marron's position, before he grimaced and stepped back. "Uh - no, no, I don't really think I should."

Krillin felt his eyebrows raise high on his head. "Really?"

Sure, looking at Goku revealed his friend not in the best of states, but he didn't think Goku would come all the way over here only to step back and refuse to hang out. The Saiyan's gi top had been ripped so much it barely hung onto his shoulders and his pants were kind of a mess, so Goku had clearly been in some kind of fight. Had that been what he'd felt yesterday? That would make sense.

Of course, Goku seemed to be his normal self now - or at least not the bloodthirsty killer of his darker personality. He hadn't cleaned up from the fight yesterday; he hadn't even taken the time to change clothes. Which meant something must have happened. Something terrible. Krillin felt a shiver run up his spine, even as he tried and failed to meet his friend's eyes.

"Goku," he said, "what happened, bud?"

Goku flinched back, looking off to the side. "I -"

Marron jumped out from behind Krillin, no longer sensing a reason to be scared of the Saiyan at their door. "Is Goten coming over to play?"

"Ah, no, Goten won't - well - maybe he will," Goku grimaced and took another step back, close to hitting the wall on the other side of the apartment hallway. "I don't know. He's with Gohan right now."

Krillin frowned. This was looking more and more like he should have called earlier. He should have checked in after the fight. But his heart had been racing and Vegeta had shown up so he had considered it all handled. He knew Goten had been staying with Gohan ever since the destruction of the city and the incident Krillin had heard about in the skies above, but this answer from Goku seemed like it meant more than that. Like Goten now stayed at Gohan's for more than the original reason.

He didn't like this. Goku was so on edge, so nervous, trembling and shaking like he was going to bolt at any second. He hadn't answered the other question either. The one Krillin had asked. Something awful had happened, and Goku clearly couldn't find the words to talk about it.

For some reason, it reminded him of the day when Buu attacked. When they'd all found a temporary safe haven on the Lookout. When Goku had given the worst news about Vegeta's and Gohan's deaths to Bulma and Chi-Chi. How Goku had stood stiff as a board to keep from shaking, facing them down, struggling to find the words.

"What I have to tell you isn't for me to say right now -"

Krillin shook the memory to the side and stared at his friend across the hall. So similar and yet so different. The trembling was more obvious than it was then, though his eyes were pretty much the same. Except, no, even his eyes - when Krillin could get a decent look at them - were shaking and hiding away instead of facing his friend head on.

Goku, what happened? What happened to you? What happened to Chi-Chi? To Gohan and Goten? What happened the other day? Why are you so -

The questions burned on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn't find the voice to ask again. Goku refused to meet his eyes. In fact, his Saiyan buddy stared down the hallway, toward the stairway, like he really was thinking of bolting. Funny. Usually when he got too nervous, he brought hands to his forehead and - oh he was doing that now. Oh, no, he put them down again. Clenched his fist at his side and released a tightly held breath.

His friend was not okay.

Licking his lips, Krilin took a step and reached out to offer a hand for his closest buddy, but Eighteen interrupted him. His wife came around from behind and took a hold of Marron's hand. Blue eyes caught his own and Eighteen nodded toward Goku, then toward Marron. Krillin scrunched his eyebrows. He couldn't figure out what she was trying to say with such a small gesture.

She rolled her eyes. "Marron and I will go for some ice cream. How does that sound?"

"Huh?" Krillin voiced the question with a tilt in his head, scratching at the edges of his hairline. "Why?"

"How does that sound, Marron?" Eighteen continued, ignoring Krillin's question, leading her daughter outside, hardly paying attention to Goku as the Saiyan danced off to the side to keep his distance. "We'll go out while your father has an important talk with Goku, okay?"

"Yeah!" Marron exclaimed, dancing down the hallway with her mother. "Ice cream!"

Eighteen turned to Krillin with a slight lift in her lips. "The place is yours."

Oh. Oh. Get the child away from Goku. That made sense. Especially since the further away Marron got with Eighteen, the more Goku seemed to relax. Though his friend still seemed far too tense to be normal, and he didn't appear to be comfortable around Krillin alone, either.

Still. Still . This was better than having him around his daughter. If he lost control and hurt the child of his family friend, Krillin was sure Goku would be devastated beyond repair. Well, worse off than he already was at least. Damn. They really did need to have a talk.

"Goku, I'm not sure what the deal is," Krillin said with a smile, once again gesturing for his friend to walk inside. "But will you at least come in now?"

His friend snapped attention away from Marron and Eighteen and gave a small nod. "Yeah...yeah, okay, but not for long."

Tension filled the air as Krillin stood aside to allow Goku into the apartment. Then he shut the door behind them and couldn't help but notice the way Goku flinched at the sound of the door slamming. The other man stared at the door, as if wishing he hadn't agreed to come inside. Well, then, he had to work fast to distract him and get him settled so he wouldn't run.

Without a word, Krillin stepped across that tension in the air and walked into the small kitchen of his apartment. Glancing behind him, he nodded to himself after seeing Goku follow, even slow and quiet. Goku didn't seem to be paying attention to where he was going, like he was trapped in his thoughts, a single finger scratching absently at his cheek.

Considering the current state of his friend, Krillin went directly for the pack of water bottles. Eighteen didn't like the water from the tap so they often had a stockpile of water bottles with some in the fridge to cool them down. Not wanting to steal his wife's cold water, Krillin grabbed one bottle from the pack on the floor and tossed it toward Goku.

"Here," he said as he watched his friend struggle to catch the thing. "You look like you need it."

"Ah - uh - yeah," Goku said, juggling the bottle from hand to hand until he finally managed to get a good grip on it. "Thanks."

Krillin frowned and then groaned as he ripped the band-aid off. "All right, buddy. Tell me what happened. You're not like yourself at all."

"I-I'm not so sure I can," Goku whispered, setting the water bottle on the counter. "Something I can't even imagine."

Since Goku didn't explain further, Krillin sighed and pointed at the water bottle. "You're not leaving until you drink that."

"Mmm."

"Okay, so, what's the favor? Let's start there."

"I need you to watch over my boys," Goku mumbled, eyes growing distant as he turned his gaze to the floor. "They have each other, but Gohan's going through a lot and has his own daughter to watch and -"

"And?" Krillin pressed when Goku cut off. "I don't mind watching them, but why?"

"Goten really needs someone right now."

"Huh? Are you really having trouble with all this -" Krillin stopped his words and froze. "Goku. What about Chi-Chi?"

Silence answered him. Silence besides the clock ticking and the sound of the fish tank pumping water from the other room. If Goku had come to him to watch over the boys, then that meant something had happened to Chi-Chi. Oh, shit .

Feeling his breath catch in his throat, Krillin dropped his arms to his side and gaped over at his friend. Goku flinched when they met gazes and then sat down on the floor, crossing his legs and clenching his fingers into his pants. Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no. He couldn't believe it. He didn't want to voice it, didn't want to ask. He could feel it, even if facing such a truth was too hard.

Goku loved Chi-Chi too much to do something that drastic. Even if it was some darker personality or - no, it couldn't be that. Vegeta had to be wrong. Saiyans wouldn't kill their wives, would they? Vegeta had been super protective of Bulma after Beerus smacked her down. Vegeta . Which meant Goku, who wasn't like other Saiyans at all , had to care beyond that much. It couldn't be some weird facet of a hidden personality. It had to be something else. Someone taking control and - and -

Oh, what could he say to make this hurt worse?

His gaze trailed from where Goku sat on the floor to the counter above him, to the water bottle sitting there unopened. He knew what he could do. He could be a comforting, understanding friend, a friend who also knew how to push someone to take care of themselves when they clearly didn't want to do that much. With a determined set to his steps, Krillin walked over to stand in front of Goku, snatched the water bottle, and then bent down to shove the bottle in Goku's face.

"Drink this," he commanded. "Now."

Black spikes lifted into the air as Goku turned his eyes up, but Krillin felt his heart sink in his stomach when his friend pushed the water bottle out of his face. "I don't want it."

"I don't care what you want!" Krillin snapped. "If Chi-Chi's not here to force you to take care of yourself, then I'll do it."

Oh, shit, I shouldn't have said it like that. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Goku flinched and lowered his head once more. "Krillin, I killed her. I don't think she cares too much about what happens to me right now."

Hearing it said out loud so point blank like that made Krillin's hand shake, the water sloshing inside the bottle. "You - you did -"

"I - She's -" A hand came up and tugged at Goku's hair as the man clearly bit back an actual sob. "I killed her and I held her as she died. I felt her heartbeat stop and her ki disappear. Gohan and Goten came over and figured it out. They knew. They -"

"Goku…"

Witnessing Goku hold back tears was one thing. He'd seen Goku lose his cool in a fight when someone hurt one of his friends, but that was when he could drown in anger. When he could focus on the fight and get revenge before facing the truth. This… The Saiyan had the palms of his hands on his eyes as if trying to force the water works from escaping. Without much success.

Chewing the inside of his cheek, Krillin stepped forward to put a hand on his friend's shoulder. He didn't know if he could say anything to make the pain go away or ease up, but he could at least stand here and be supportive. Silent support could work wonders, after all. Sometimes words just didn't cut it. He squeezed his hand into Goku's shoulder and didn't comment on the way his friend shook under his fingers, the way the sobs broke through while the man continued to talk through the incident that had caused him such terrible heartache.

"She told me to hold her. That's the last thing she said to me. Both of the boys hate me and I - I hate myself, too," Goku cried, making Krillin flinch at every sentence. "I don't even remember doing it. Not at all. She was dying and I couldn't remember, but I knew. I knew it was me but - how could I do that? How could I let that happen?"

A squeak escaped from Krillin's mouth at the questions, and he pulled away a little before sitting down on the floor in front of Goku, setting the water bottle down on the kitchen floor between them. "Goku, look at me, buddy. It wasn't you, okay? You wouldn't kill her. You wouldn't ever kill her. For any reason. It's that other guy in your head, that other personality or whatever it is making you do stuff. It may have been your hand and your power, but it wasn't you ."

"Krillin, I just - what if it happens again? What if I -" Goku dropped his hands from his tear-stained face, only to look up at Krillin with wide eyes, pulling away and pressing against the cabinets behind him. "You shouldn't be near me. I shouldn't have come inside. I need to go."

"No. You're not going anywhere until you get something to eat. Or at least," Krillin said as he narrowed his eyes and shoved the water at Goku's chest, "until you drink this. Drink it now. I'm not gonna let you kill yourself over this."

"Maybe I should!" Goku snapped, eyes shaking even as he clenched his hands into fists and dug his fingers into his spiked hair. "Maybe it would be best for everyone if I did just kill myself. Heh. The other me wouldn't like that too much, would it? Heh. Yeah...maybe…"

His hand moved on its own. His own heart had skipped a beat at the words coming from his friend's mouth. His overly optimistic, always smiling, always ready for a laugh, friend. Goku would laugh in the face of enemies several times his strength. He would stand up to anything. He wouldn't let anything get him down.

This wasn't like him at all. And it scared Krillin to hear it. Scared him to see it happening - to see Goku unraveling right in front of him like this. So he reached up and smacked Goku on the head as hard as he could, earning little more than a surprised yelp in return.

"Don't you say that!" Krillin shouted. "Damn it, Goku. It's not like you to give up! I'm sure we'll all wish Chi-Chi back as soon as we can. In the meantime, there's gotta be a better way to handle this. Don't just give up on it."

" What then, Krillin? What should I do? I can't trust myself not to hurt anyone. Your city, Chi-Chi, I - I can't - I can't even be sure that Gohan and Goten won't try and kill me again. I can't be sure they'll survive if they come at me. I'm just -" Goku broke down again, hands dropping into his lap, his voice dropping in volume. "I've made myself too strong."

I never thought I'd hear those words from Goku of all people.

Swallowing something stuck in his throat, Krillin did what he always did in times of stress - he rambled. "I - I don't know. I just know there has to be something . You've always been the one telling me to be more optimistic when we have to face something different. I know this isn't exactly a fight or anything you're used to, anything we're used to dealing with, but - but - I just - I can't stand seeing you like this, buddy. There has to be a better way."

Goku shook his head and muttered. "I wonder about that."

With a long sigh, Krillin got back to his feet and rolled his shoulder. "You can go and do whatever you want, I guess. It's not like I can stop you. Don't leave without drinking that water, though."

"Krillin, I need your word that you'll look after the boys for me," Goku murmured after a few beats of silence. "Make sure they stay away from me and make sure they take care of each other."

"Of course you have my word, Goku. I'll watch over them for you, no problem. And when -" Krillin felt the words stop on his tongue and he had to wet his lips to break the dryness as he continued. "- when Chi-Chi gets wished back, I'll watch over her, too. Whether you're around or not."

Goku nodded. "Even if I am still around, don't let her know where I'm at. I don't want her chasing after me. I don't think I could stand to have it happen again."

"Yeah, okay," Krillin said, clearing his throat. "So what are you gonna do now/"

Goku shrugged. "Don't know. Guess I'll wait around here 'til you let me leave."

"You mean until you drink that water," Krillin huffed. "Be happy I'm not forcing food on you, too."

A laugh broke free from his friend's lips, but Krillin grimaced anyway because it sounded so weak and so forced. "Aw, come on, you really think you need to force food on me?"

"Hey, man, if you're refusing to drink something as light as water, then it makes me a little worried about you, buddy."

"Yeah, I guess I - I'm not really sure when I ate last, honestly."

Silence echoed through the kitchen, an awkward tension broken by the sound of the water bottle top finally snapping off. Krillin felt his shoulders relax, realizing only then how rigid he'd been during this whole conversation. He reached up to massage the knotted muscles and groaned. Damn, if all it took to release some of that tension was for Goku to drink some water…

Killing Chi-Chi. And now he's tearing himself up inside and he doesn't have anyone else. I have to do something for him, since no one else will...He's my best friend.

He snapped his fingers in the air, waving off the raised eyebrow from Goku. He went for the pantry and pulled out a pack of wheat bread, grabbing a paper plate to throw down enough bread for four sandwiches. He'd replenish their supply later. Eightween would understand. For now, he'd grab some peanut butter and jelly and make something nice and simple. It wasn't as creative or healthy as something Chi-Chi could cook up, but maybe that would be better in this situation.

"Goku, buddy," he said as he worked, "what are you planning to do when you leave here?"

"Mm, well I would try and - uhm - anyways -" Goku answered cryptically before drinking more water like he had been dehydrated all this time. "I can't do that. It might trigger something."

"Try what?" Krillin asked, eyebrows raised as he finished the sandwiches and moved to hand over the plate to his best friend. "Here. If you're that thirsty, you're hungry, too."

For a couple of heartbeats, Goku didn't move. Krillin held his breath. But then a shaky hand reached out and snatched the plate, two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches disappearing into the Saiyan's mouth in no time at all. Feeling the relief settle all the way down to his stomach, Krillin took a breath and stood up with a smile.

"You Saiyans are like bottomless pits, I swear."

"There you go," he said aloud, pushing away the memories of watching Goku and the other Saiyans stuff themselves silly before a tournament match. "It's not much for you, I know, but at least it's something."

Goku grunted. "Heh. My stomach appreciates it, Krillin."

"I'll bet."

He searched around for something else to make his friend and his eyes landed on the fruit bowl. Ah, yes, Goku loved fruit, right? He knew his Saiyan friend preferred to eat the noodles and rice and otherwise traditional dishes that his wife could make, but fresh fruit was always something he would go for since he grew up in the wilderness. Or at least so he assumed.

So he snatched a handful of apples and then crouched down to offer them to his friend. After finishing the sandwiches and setting the empty plate on the floor, Goku reached out for more food, only to freeze a hair's breadth away from the red fruit. At least Goku went back to drinking the water, but Krillin had to frown all the same.

"Hey, c'mon," he said, "that's not all you're gonna eat, is it?"

Goku shook his head, glancing off to the side. "Not apples, Krillin. Anything else, sure, but not apples."

"Huh?"

"It's -" Goku grimaced. "I can't explain."

Oh, it has to do with Chi-Chi, doesn't it? Agh how could I be so stupid? Stupid, stupid, stupid. I'm trying so hard not to trigger him and there I go and do it anyway.

Krillin got to his feet in a flash and put the apples back in the fruit bowl. Too bad he didn't have any other fruit to offer right now. He had a feeling that would be good for the Saiyan appetite. Oh, wait! Eighteen had made something banana pudding with the last of their bananas. Maybe if there was still some left…

He opened the fridge and looked around, wishing he had more leftovers in here. But they'd recently cleaned it out. They'd have to go shopping again for more food - or make something with the little they had left in the house. Goku really couldn't have come at a worse time, not that Krillin's house would have ever held enough food to satisfy that man's appetite. Ah!

With a grin, he grabbed the bowl half-full of banana pudding and whistled lightly as he walked back to hand it over to Goku. "Here. This better?"

His friend met him with a weak smile and took the offered pudding, digging in almost instantly. "Yeah, thanks."

Nodding, Krillin crossed his arms and leaned against the counter. "Man, I wish I had more food to share. We don't really have the Saiyan stomachs over here, you know."

"Hm. Don't worry about it. I'll try to find something on my own later," Goku said, finishing up the pudding and setting the empty bowl on the plate from earlier. "Was it really that obvious?"

"Was what really obvious?"

"That I hadn't eaten."

"Well, considering you looked pretty dehydrated, I figured you probably hadn't eaten much either," Krillin frowned, then rubbed the back of his neck. "Please don't try to starve yourself, Goku. That's - that's not like you."

Goku sighed. "Sorry for scaring you. After what happened, I guess I kind of lost myself."

"Mmm, yeah I can understand - Hey - I want you to promise me that you'll take care of yourself, Goku. I know it's rough and you don't want to be around anyone, but…"

"I'm not so sure I can promise myself ," Goku said, shaking his head. "Not with it running around."

Krillin winced. "Right, but, can you at least try? For me?"

"I don't know. If I end up hurting anyone else, then…" His friend drifted off, then looked up with wide eyes. "What if I kill Goten next?"

Krillin's response was automatic. "You wouldn't do that."

Narrowed eyes met him and Krillin felt his stomach twist, especially when Goku looked down and sighed. "I already tried."

"No...no you didn't. That's not you when that stuff happens. Stop saying it like you're the one doing it because you're not, okay?"

" Krillin , does it really matter? What if it decides to kill Goten? Or Gohan? Or you? Or - or Marron?"

At that, Krillin felt his heart skip a beat. He brought a hand to his chest as he visualized the image. Of his friend shooting off purple ki blasts like an evil maniac. Of Marron getting caught in the crossfire. Of his little girl dying in his arms because of his best friend.

The silence must have been all the response Goku needed to know how he felt. Krillin felt awful, but he couldn't hold back his automatic reaction. The image was too easy to conjure after what he'd seen when hunting dragon balls with Goku and Vegeta. He still wanted to support his friend, but…

But…

But what if something did happen to Marron? Something more drastic than the trauma of living through a city's destruction? Would he still be willing to stand by Goku despite it all? He chewed his bottom lip and groaned. Shit, this wasn't right. None of this was right.

Goku climbed to his feet and dusted himself off. "I'm going home. Thanks for watching over Gohan and Goten for me."

"Ah - Goku -"

Krillin snapped out of it in time to catch his friend at the front door of his apartment, holding a hand out as if he could physically apologize for his adverse reaction. "Krillin, don't look for me."

"R-right. Okay, but look. You know, whatever Gohan and Goten think of you now, they'll come around. And I'm sure Chi-Chi forgives whatever happened, so don't - don't let it tear you up too much, okay?" Krillin held his breath, wanting to tell his friend not to kill himself, feeling the fear racing through him that such a thing could even be on the table now, but he couldn't find the words. "Just...just don't."

Goku paused with his hand on the doorknob and looked back at him with a smile - the weakest smile he'd ever seen on his best friend's face but at least it seemed genuine and not forced this time. His voice was soft when he spoke. "Yeah. I know. I think I'll be fine for now. Thanks."

Finding words still stuck in his throat, Krillin coughed and rubbed his chest, watching as Goku opened the door and disappeared. He wished he could do more for him. He wished he could think of something he could do. Some way to solve the problem that the Eternal Dragon had called natural. This? Natural? Bullshit. This wasn't natural at all.

Well, he'd have a lot to share with Eighteen when she got back, that was for sure. Then he'd search out Goku's sons and have a good long talk with them both. He couldn't imagine what they were going through, if Goku had come to him looking like that .

"Oh man," Krillin groaned, clinging to a clump of his hair, "this is too messed up."