Hello everyone,

I am so sorry for not posting this chapter earlier! I actually managed to get away from my desk and do stuff in my garden! I looked after my half-dead tomato and cucumber plants and I cut off all my herbs and made little herby-scenty pouches.

Thank you so so so so much for all your comments. Please make sure you have your DMs active if you want me to reply to you! I love getting back to all of ye, but of course I can appreciate that some of you don't want messages. That's absolutely fine too, I just wanted to remind ye in case you forgot to activate it :)

I might be a little bit less quick now with posting, as the weather is really nice here and I love my garden! I also start to work again this week (I mind three little kids) and I cannot wait to see them again.

However, I suppose I'll still post a chapter every two or three days.

Anyway, here is chapter 14! Thanks for reading and please please please send me your feedback!

Enjoy! XXX

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MAKE YOU FEEL MY LOVE - ADELE

"What are you so chuffed about?"

"Let me come in and I'll tell you all about it!"

Hermione followed Ginny upstairs into the drawing room where Harry was with the kids.

"Minnie!", James cheered and came to hug her. "Minnie, you have to see my new broom! Santa brought it for me!"

"Boom! Boom!", little Albus joined in and ran up to her with his stubby, short legs. Hermione bent down to them and ruffled their heads.

"Not inside, honey", Ginny reminded James and wiggled her finger at him.

"I won't use it, Mummy", James explained to Ginny as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I just want to show it to Minnie!"

Ginny sighed with pursed lips but gave in. "Go on then. Get it."

James cheered and ran upstairs into his room. Harry bent down to catch Albus before he could follow his older brother up the stairs.

"Albus, show Mione what Santa got you for Christmas!", Harry said to the boy and steered him towards the Christmas tree.

Albus toddled around and picked up a few things before he ran towards Hermione, who had to crouch down and look at his presents.

"Ca! Ca!", he said and showed her two small toy cars.

"Wow!", she exclaimed and took one of them. "Show me how they work!"

Albus put them on the ground and the cars started racing around by magic, making engine noises and squeaky breaking sounds.

"Ca!", Albus said once more and grinned at Hermione before James hurried back in.

He showed off his tiny broom proudly and a moment later Hermione pulled out the presents she'd got them for Christmas.

"I found these under my Christmas tree yesterday. I think Santa must have left them for you!"

She had charmed a quaffle for James that he could chase on his broom and a magic racing track for Albus's cars. She had obviously talked to Harry and Ginny about what she could get them. For Lily, she charmed some flowers. They would spin in a circle and play magical lullabies that sent her to sleep.

"That is more a present for us than for Lily", Harry laughed.

"What did you get from Santa?", James asked her.

Hermione smiled.

"He made sure a friend of mine found his way back home", she explained cryptically.

James just nodded and the two boys started playing with their toys. Harry and Ginny had clearly understood the reference and couldn't wait for Hermione to tell them the whole story.

"What? He slept over at your place?", Harry said exasperatedly.

"Shhhhh!", said Ginny and jabbed him in the ribs.

Hermione gave them the full account, leaving out the inappropriate thoughts she had had every now and then, and then looked at Harry.

"I think it is time to prepare the wizarding world for the return of Severus Snape", she said smiling. "But I don't know what the best approach would be."

"Do you think he would still want to life here, even if Minerva refuses to offer him the job?", Ginny asked.

Hermione shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. My gut feeling says yes, but I wouldn't want to make a decision on it."

"Well", said Harry. "How about you talk to Minerva first. Maybe just you, I can join you if you would like but I think, she might feel like we try to outnumber her. And if she agrees we include Kingsley."

"A hundred wizards couldn't outnumber Minerva McGonagall", Ginny remarked.

Hermione thought about it for a moment and agreed.

"Yes, I think I will talk to her. I also think you should meet with him, Harry."

Harry had recently been made Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, so luckily, he would be able to sort everything out legally. If Harry and Severus could work together directly, it would make things much easier.

He sighed but nodded slowly.

"I was thinking that. Even if it is just to agree upon a strategy."

"Strategy?", Hermione asked. "You make it sound like an Auror assignment."

Harry laughed.

"Well, it is kind of. People don't often come back from the dead."

They had a very enjoyable Boxing Day. Hermione went into the garden with James and Albus, whilst Ginny was putting Lily down for her nap.

She remembered to look for old cauldrons in the attic and was lucky. She found four old ones, but also two rather nice brass ones and a well-kept copper one. They had lunch together and once Lily was up again, they got ready to floo to Shell Cottage for tea with Bill and Fleur and their children. Percy and Audrey and their kids were there too.

It was a tradition they had started a few years ago, as Fleur had created a magical safe area on the beach where they could leave the children running around by themselves. The rest of the Weasley clan arrived for dinner, where they had cold meats from the days before. Hermione decided to leave early that evening, as she wanted to start examining the cauldrons she had found.

"You can't even stop working at Christmas", Ron reproached her jokingly.

"It's not work!", she insisted. "It's research. I do it for fun!"

"That's even worse", Harry said, and they broke out in laughter.

"You may laugh now, but the children will all use the cauldron I will invent once they're at Hogwarts!", Hermione said jestingly.

"Well, you better hurree up", Fleur tried not to crack up. "Teddee is starteeng in September!"

It was late in the morning and Severus lifted his hand to ring on Hermione's door, but to his surprise it just unlocked itself. The second door into her flat did the same and he shut it behind him, then bent down to take his shoes off. It was really narrow, because the staircase that led up into the first floor was part of Hermione's flat and could only be accessed once one had entered through the second door.

He now stood in the tiny square between the door and the staircase and tried to lift his leg onto the step to untie his shoe.

"Sev?", he heard her voice coming from the kitchen. He could see the kitchen doorframe from where he stood looking upstairs, but he couldn't see her.

"Yes, sorry. The door just opened…-"

"Great, that's perfect. Come up!"

Did she sound annoyed? Was she annoyed with him? He instinctively straightened his back before he walked up the stairs.

When he saw the kitchen, he nearly wanted to break out into barking laughter. It was a mess. And she was a mess too.

The room had clearly been repurposed into something that looked like a crazy lady's magical amusement park.

A ridiculous number of cauldrons were crammed onto the kitchen counter, the windowsill, the floor and basically every free spot that there was. Many of them had unidentifiable solutions bubble in them and some had molten. It was smoky and fairly dark because she had closed the blinds, but a few colourful sparks were flying around.

Hermione was bent over her kitchen table where two cauldrons were slowly merging into one another. She was wearing a tank top and red Christmas pyjama bottoms that were tucked into her socks. Her hair was tied up in a massive bun on top of her head, that reminded him oddly of a bird's nest, and her wand was stuck in it.

She was chewing her bottom lip whilst carefully reading a passage in a book and holding one hand over the two melting cauldrons. The dark circles under her eyes told him she hadn't slept, or possibly got up very early. Her face was bright red from the heat, and she sniffed her nose.

She was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen in his entire life. He couldn't stop staring at her, how she moved, how she furrowed her eyebrows, how she tilted her head to rub her cheek on her naked shoulder. His eyes wandered over her and he noticed some scars that he hadn't seen before, one that wasn't fully visible across her chest and one on her forearm.

He wondered for a moment if she had hurt herself whilst experimenting, but they looked like old scars, which didn't make him feel much better. He also saw a small one on her neck.

Who had hurt her? He felt an anger rising up in him. Who had caused her pain? He wanted to comfort her, caress her injuries. He wanted to touch her hot skin, run his fingers up her arms and over her neck. He wanted to untie her hair and comb through with his fingers. He wanted to see what it looked like spread on a pillow when he laid her down on a bed…

"For fuck's sake!", she cursed and slammed her hands on the table. It ripped him out of his trance.

"Tut-tut", he said condescendingly, trying to cover up that his thoughts had wandered in inappropriate areas. "Watch your choice of vocabulary."

"Oh, shut it", she moaned, bending over and burying her head in her hands. "Those were my last cauldrons."

"Are there no more at Grimmauld Place?", he asked looking at all the wrecked ones in the room.

"No, I already multiplied these. I only had seven to start with."

She took a block of melted copper off one chair and sat down, placing the misfortunate creation in her lap and looking at it sadly.

"I told you they'd be soaked with ancient magic", he said, not knowing what to say that could comfort her.

"No, they were not", she snapped. "You don't honestly think Harry would keep dark objects in the house where he raises his children."

Severus didn't reply and just looked coolly at her. How should he know what Saint Potter decided to do?

Hermione got up and pushed some of the cauldrons back and forth on the counter, trying to reach a cup that stood next to a jug with coffee in it.

"Great", she yelled furiously and dropped the full cup into one of the empty cauldrons. "That's cold too."

"You're a witch, just heat it up."

"Thanks for reminding me", she spat at him. "Argh, I just go and get washed up and dressed. I look terrible."

"No, you don't…", he wanted to tell her how beautiful she was, but stopped himself. "You look like always."

She aggressively pushed the chair under the table.

"Thank you for the compliment."

Then she stormed past him and stomped upstairs.

Severus didn't really know what to do. He could barely cope with his own moods; how should he cope with hers?

He took a heavy breath and started tidying the kitchen by shrinking all the abused cauldrons and collecting them in one unshrunk one. Then he set up some fresh coffee and noticed that there were a number of half-finished cups standing around. That just proved his earlier suspicion of her not having slept. He opened the blinds and let some fresh air in, then he toasted bread and found eggs in the fridge.

Just as Hermione crept back into the kitchen, he placed the cup and plate onto the table.

"Sit. Eat."

She looked at him with her fawn eyes and he nearly smiled at her, but instead he just raised an eyebrow.

They sat in silence for a while, Severus reading a muggle newspaper and Hermione eating her breakfast, until she said: "I am sorry. I didn't mean to be so aggressive. It just drives me mad when… I don't know, when nothing works. I try and try but nothing changes and…. it's just… I don't have any words…"

"I know", he said, eyeing her over the newspaper. "I get it too."

"I am sorry, I didn't …"

He got up and put the paper on the table.

"Let's go for a walk."

"What?", she asked bewildered.

"It helps. Get up."

He didn't give her any chance to argue and just pulled out the chair she was sitting on. He put his coat on and went downstairs to get his shoes whilst she got her own jacket. They left the house and as soon they were outside the wards, he stretched an arm out towards her.

"We can't apparate in the middle of the street!", she said.

"Do you honestly think, any muggle would believe their eyes if they saw us disappear into thin air", he snarled.

"Well, no. But -"

She couldn't finish her sentence, because he pulled her into side-along apparition with him. When they landed in a field, she needed a second to recollect herself, because she hadn't been expecting the move. She ripped her arm free and glared at him.

"Don't ever do that again!", she snapped.

"Or?", he drawled.

He was expecting her non-verbal attack and blocked it non-verbally in return.

"Nice try", he smirked at her. "Come."

Then he walked away from her.

"Where are we?"

"Just behind Petersham Nurseries."

"Where?", she asked again and caught up to him.

"Richmond Park is just two minutes away."

They came to a carpark and then to the street, which they crossed to get into the park.

"We'll go up there", Severus said and pointed up a hill.

They silently walked together, enjoying each other's company and the fresh air.

"Can I ask you a question?", she said after a while.

"Can you please just ask and not always ask before asking?", he answered sounding annoyed.

"Would you mind meeting up with Harry?"

There was silence. Only when they were halfway up the hill he replied: "Why?"

"I will sort out your interview, but he will sort out legalities and talk to the ministry. I don't have the connections."

"Why does he need to talk to the ministry?"

"Because you're considered dead", she said bluntly.

He snorted, looking onto the ground.

"I can book a table somewhere, or you can meet him in a park or anywhere on neutral ground. I'll sort it out."

"It's fine", he replied, the usual annoyance in is voice. "I am not going to try and kill him."

"I just thought you might not feel comfortable at Grimmauld Place", she said quietly.

"I won't."

She didn't say anymore, and he wondered how he could explain what he thought.

"I don't like Potter, not for the reason everyone thinks, I don't care much about his parents."

He could tell she wanted to say something, but she was clever enough not to.

"He is just no my cup of tea, to put it nicely. He is lazy and relies on good luck or your brains."

"That's not true", she tried to defend him.

"Yes, it is. Anyway", he continued before she could say anything else. "I might not like him, but I thank him for what he has done. He has cleared my name and he is willing to help me out. Considering the past, that is more than what I could expect from him. I highly appreciate it, and I will tell him as much. And I don't mind doing it in his own four walls. It's the most practical thing to do."

She looked at him again, with these loving, warm eyes and he wanted to drown in her. He quickly looked away and they walked the rest of the way in silence. When they reached the top of the hill, he led her to a viewing point with a telescope.

"Turn it in this direction", he instructed and moved it for her. "Now look and tell me what you can see."

She did as told and asked surprised: "Is that Saint Paul's Cathedral?"

"It is."

They walked a little bit further to a small botanic garden. Severus used to come here and chop off some plants from time to time for potions.

"You mean, you came to steal plants", Hermione corrected him and laughed.

"I never claimed to be faultless."

They took the train and Tube back home and picked up some food at the shop to make for dinner. They had been outside nearly all day and were both starving by the time they arrived back at Hermione's flat.

She prepared the vegetables and turned around to Severus.

"Can you keep an eye on this?", she asked, stirring the food in the pan. "I might go and call Harry to ask him when you can meet."

"Sure", Severus replied. "Hermione?"

"Hm?"

"You are coming too, right?"

She didn't smile or frown or anything, but answered calmly, as if it was the most normal question she had ever been asked. "Of course."

She left the kitchen and for some reason he thought to himself, that she must be an incredible teacher. He never felt uncomfortable around her, even when he thought he asked the most stupid questions. She had such a kind, reassuring nature it was like a balm for his soul. Her unconditional kindness radiated around her and everything she did. It was the most reliable and steady thing he had ever experienced.

When he heard her speak, he tried to listen in, but couldn't understand much.

As they started eating, Hermione wanted him to look at some of her notes from earlier.

"I'm not the one with a mastery in Charms", he said.

"But you know your way around a cauldron. Now look, I had two cauldrons, one made of copper and one of brass. I tried merging them, considering that brass is made up of copper and zinc…"

They discussed the topic for a while, not coming to a definite conclusion but left with a few new ideas. They migrated to the living room after a while and Hermione stretched out on her sofa, a book in her hand and a cup of tea next to her. He started reading a book of hers too and noticed two bookstore bags sat behind her sofa.

"How long have they been sitting there?", he asked nodding towards them.

"Wha-… oh, those." She looked embarrassed. "A while…"

"Why do you buy books that you don't read?", he asked without understanding.

"I do read them", she said and put her book down to bull the bags out from behind the sofa. "See, these are hardcover books that were on sale. I already have them as paperbacks."

She took a book out of the bag and looked at it in a way, that Severus wished she'd look at him.

"Look at that", she said. "That wasn't even on sale, but I just couldn't help it."

"That's ridiculous", he said.

"Some people are weak for chocolate, some people are weak for books", she said. "I am of the latter sort. And the former one actually."

Then she put it down next to her on the sofa, touching it gently as if it was her child and reclined back, returning to the book she'd just read.

It was only seven in the evening, when he looked up from what he was reading, because he heard her snore quietly. One hand was still holding the book that was resting on her tummy, the other one was hanging off the sofa. Her bushy hair was everywhere, but he thought it was beautiful and all he wanted to do was touch it. Her mouth was slightly open, enhancing the soft lips. He imagined what they'd feel like under his fingers… or maybe on his own mouth.

You fucking creep.

He should have got up and left the room, but he didn't. He enjoyed it. He enjoyed looking at her, seeing her chest rise and fall steadily in unison with a strand of hair moving back and forth in front of her face as she was breathing.

He could never have her, but that didn't bother him too much. He would never want to risk the friendship they had in pursuit of something more. He would do everything to keep hold of what they shared, but he wouldn't attach himself too much. He had done that once with Lily and it hadn't been a very healthy relationship.

This is also not a healthy relationship, you idiot. You're weak for her.

Yes, he was weak for her, but not to the point of despair as it had been in the past. He was able to live without Hermione; he didn't need her to live a happy life. It took him ten years, but he came to the point where he needed nobody else to be a whole human being.

But by Merlin's beard, he wanted her. He enjoyed her company; she was like a solid rock and a feather in the wind both at once. He wanted to share his happiness with her, he wanted to tell her about his thoughts, he wanted to share interests with her.

He loved seeing her happy, he loved being the one that made her happy. He wanted to return all her kindness a hundred times. He wanted the whole world's admiration and love to be only hers.

He was such a happy bastard that evening; sitting in her flat, reading her book, drinking her tea and staring at her whenever it pleased him, which was most of the time. And he didn't feel bad about it a single moment.

Later that night he stretched out on his sofa too. He could have just gone to the room next door, where he had slept two nights before, but he liked it just here. He looked over at her one more time, before closing his eyes, smiling like the lovestruck bastard that he was and eventually falling asleep.

He woke up, the sun shining onto his face from the window above his head.

Hold on a moment. If the sun stands that high, it must already be…

He jolted up and looked around. Hermione was nowhere to be seen, but he could hear the clinking of dishes and some music from the kitchen.

How had he not noticed when she had got up? He never slept that fast, his instincts should still be there. His body was trained to wake up at the slightest noise. He needed it, to stay alive. How should he look after her if he didn't wake up in time? What if they'd been attacked? Was he just not fit enough anymore to look after someone? He wasn't. He was simply not good enough to be with her.

He got up immediately and went to put on his coat in the hallway. To his annoyance Hermione's head popped out of the kitchen and she smiled at him.

"Good morning", she said cheery, but the smile faded from her lips when she saw him. "Where are you going?"

"Home!", he barked. What a stupid question.

Hermione dropped some cutlers. She didn't need to come out of the kitchen to join him as the flat was so small anyway.

"Why?", she asked but he didn't reply to her. He just made his way downstairs.

"Sev…", he heard her say. Could she please stop calling him that? It made him weak.

He slipped into his shoes and wanted to open the door, but he was stopped by a body binding curse. It made him even angrier.

Too slow and too inattentive. Old man.

"Severus Snape!", she shouted at him. He heard how the door locked itself and the body binding curse was removed.

"I'm sorry", she said tenderly. "I shouldn't have put that…-"

"Let me out", he said in a quiet but piercing tone.

He was fuming. She had caught him by surprise, and he did not like it at all.

"Not until you give me a good reason", she said calmly, walking down the staircase to talk to him. It was Severus's turn to strike.

Without further warning he leapt at her and pulled her down the staircase to where he stood, having a firm grip around her arms. In the small square where they were standing, she was inevitably trapped between the wall and him.

"A good reason? I will lower myself to your intellectual level and give you a good reason", he snarled.

"How about: because I could crush you, right here, right now. And I wouldn't even need a single spark of magic to do so."

He demonstratively pushed her against the wall. He didn't hurt her, he never would, but he wanted to frighten her, which wasn't any more noble.

"You wouldn't do that", she said calmly, but he could make out a slight shaking in her voice. She was hiding her fear well.

He stepped closer, if that was even possible, towering over her, his jaw clenched, his eyes cold and hostile.

"Try me", he said in such a dark, quiet tone, and he could feel the shudder running through her.

"I am", she breathed.

A moment later he saw a fierceness rising in her eyes.

"Do it then", she said. "Crush me. I have no doubt you could do it with only two fingers. But I know you won't."

She raised her chin and looked him in the eye, resolute, yet calm and… loving?

"I know your moods as well as you know mine by now", she said. "You are in a mood, and I won't let you leave until you're back to normal. You might kill somebody's cat and I don't want to be responsible for that."

"The people that will be after me, won't just kill somebody's cat!", he yelled being extremely annoyed by her ridiculous behaviour. "They will be after me, and they will make short process of you whilst I lie sleeping on your damn sofa!"

He nearly screamed and was sure that he must have spat on her face in the process.

"There won't be anybody after you! You stupid flap-dragon", she yelled back.

"You don't know these people!"

"Oh, do I not? Have I not fought them?", she shouted at him. "Let them come! It wouldn't be the first time I have to deal with them. Let them come here and try to hurt you. And when I am done kicking their ill-bred butts, I'll make pies out of them and serve them to the next bunch of beef-witted ghouls that turn up!"

Her voice nearly cracked, and her face was red with anger. She looked at him, a fire in her eyes, that he had never seen before. It didn't surprise him much longer that nobody dared to challenge her. She was a force to be reckoned with, even without her wand.

He wanted to kiss her in that moment. Kiss her lips and crush her out of sheer want, whilst simultaneously melting away in her arms. But he had to control himself.

"I am your friend, Sev", she said, and he swallowed hard. "Now, you can either get upstairs and eat your breakfast, or leave. It's up to you. Sorry for locking you in."

He heard the door unlocking itself and just looked at her coolly. He tried to compose himself and started by letting her arms go.

"Thanks", she said stiffly and made her way back upstairs.

He waited for a moment, taking a few deep breaths. He had made a fool of himself, but he didn't know what else to do. He was afraid, for her. She turned the music up and he heard her busying herself. He slowly took his shoes off and walked back upstairs.

Standing in the small hallway, leaning against the kitchen doorframe, he watched her. She seemed upset, she was throwing things into the sink and he thought he saw her shoulders trembling. When she turned around and noticed him, he could see her eyes were red. She quickly rubbed them with her hands and smiled at him.

"Si… Sit down", she instructed him, her voice breaking. It broke him inside.

She cried, because he had been a twat. Her sad smile wrecked his heart. Her tears equalled a lifetime of punishment and misery and he hated himself in that moment. He wanted to apologise, he wanted her to know that he was worried.

Rubbing his beard with one hand, he looked at her and said: "Every friend I ever had, got murdered."

She looked at him even more sadly, and he wanted to strangle himself.

"Stop dwelling on the past, Sev", she said, sounding desperate and caring at once. "We're living in different times now. The people who would want to harm you, could never get to you."

"I don't care about me", he moaned.

They were silent for a while and the radio played some music quietly in the background.

"Don't ever try to push me away", she said to him. He didn't even try to find a reply, and she continued: "I am intelligent enough to know that I don't deserve to be pushed away, but I am stupid enough to let you do it. And I will let you do it again, and again, until I am broken. So, please", she nearly begged him, "don't do it."

He had the decency to look to the ground. Hermione put filled plates and two cups of coffee on the table.

"Eat with me."

Severus helped her wash the dishes after breakfast, or rather early lunch and the mood significantly improved.

"Do you still want to go to Grimmauld Place?", she asked him, drying two forks with a tea towel.

"Yes", he replied. "If you still want me to go."

"I do of course, silly", she smiled. "But please do go and take a shower, so they won't have a reason to call you greasy."

"Thanks for that", he grumbled. "I would have showered, if I hadn't…"

"I know", she said, saving him from getting into too much detail.

She pointed her wand at the door behind her, and the shower turned itself on. He knew by now that the water needed a while to get hot. He didn't mind the cold water, but when he had stayed before, he had heard her turn on the water upstairs quite a while before he had made out her steps across the room in the morning. His bathroom (Your bathroom? Are you a complete retard?) was located behind the kitchen, stupidly enough, but he knew that it had to do with muggle plumbing, his parents' house had been the same. Although much less nice than hers.

"I will get ready upstairs", she said and left the kitchen. "Your toothbrush is still there, and I gave you a fresh towel."

You're a bloody lucky bastard.