Standing outside Corvus' new dormitory apartment, an insulated grocery bag in one hand keeping the hot dishes warm, and another one under his arm for the cooler dishes, Gren had never been so nervous as he was at this moment. Somehow his security clearance interview paled in comparison, even dealing with Rep. Viren paled in comparison to the butterflies he was currently feeling.
Don't be nervous. Don't be nervous, he repeated to himself; he felt frozen in his spot. It's just Corvus! He tried to reassure himself.
But, it wasn't just Corvus. Most likely it was Kazi and Sabah too, and Gren wanted to make a good first impression on them. He even dressed up a little nicer than usual, a nice solid t-shirt with an opened short sleeve button up over it. It was a step down from "breakfast casual" but still nice, hopefully.
The sound of a bugle horn erupted from Gren's phone and, more than Gren cared to admit, getting a text from Marcos was a welcome distraction right now to help calm his anxiety.
"Our lasagna tastes great. The one for Corvus and his roommates probably came out well too. Relax. :)"
Gren nodded, Relax. Got it.
Second floor, Apartment 2-149. Gren took a deep breath and knocked on the door.
A pause. Then some sound from the other end. Gren felt his chest tighten, heart racing fast. Footsteps coming closer. Gren took in a deep breath, relax, you got this. Then the door opened.
"Corvus," Gren breathed out, a smile instantly spreading across his face. And how was it that the sight of his friend made him feel both instantly better and a different type of tightness in his chest?
Corvus was definitely dressed in "breakfast casual" clothes, a nice button up and dark jeans. He looked so dashing and handsome and...and Gren needed to stop staring…
"Gren!" he smiled as he opened the door a little wider, "Glad you found it. Oh! You brought something? Here, let me help…" He took the bag Gren was holding, and Gren was very much aware of Corvus' hand brushing against his as he took the bag with the lasagna...and why was his brain even noting that?
Corvus might've noted it too? He quickly looked from Gren's hand, to his face, back to the bag - now in his own hands, before returning to Gren's face, then looking away. If Gren wasn't hyper aware of Corvus in the moment, he might've missed that. "Come on in," Corvus smiled, quickly turning around and back into the apartment to cover it, but Gren saw enough to make his cheeks turn warm and cause a lazy smile to spread across his face. Corvus has the nicest smile.
"Th-thanks for having me," Gren said and stepped in, immediately greeted by the sight of their living room and the open kitchen to the left. "Wow, nice place!"
Corvus looked back at Gren, a huge smile of pride on his face, "Thanks! We like it too," he beamed as he set the bag on the long breakfast bar that separated the kitchen from the living room. Gren automatically followed suit, placing the insulated bag under his arm on the breakfast bar next to Corvus as he continued to look around. It was definitely longer in layout than his own apartment, but thinner in width. There seemed to be a room and a small hallway further on the left, and on the right a longer hallway with at least one visible door. Gren's heart beat faster, the door reminding him of Kazi and Sabah. Were they here now? Was Gren going to meet them now? Did he look presentable? His gaze found his way back to the front door and a small shoe rack beside it.
"Oh! I'm sorry! I didn't realize about the shoes! I'll take them off now!" Gren panicked and all but hopped his way back to the front, neatly untied his shoes, and placed them on the rack. It was then he noticed: only one pair of shoes were on the rack with his...Corvus' shoes?
Wait, wasn't he going to meet Kazi and Sabah? Did they not want to meet him? What did it mean if they didn't want to meet him? Gosh, the escape room was going to be awkward if they didn't want to meet him… Was his brain making this meeting a bigger deal than it really was? Were these those "automatic negative thoughts" Marcos told him about over dinner the other night? Was it really just him and Corvus? Were they just hanging out? And why was Corvus dressed so nicely? Did he have a date earlier? Or did he dress nicely for him? Why were both of those thoughts equally nerve-racking? What did that mean? Was this panicking? This felt like panicking…Why was he panicking?
His hyperfocus seemed to dissolve at the sound of Corvus' light chuckle. Gren broke his gaze from his shoes, quickly stood up straight, and looked at Corvus. Corvus' hazel eyes were warm and soft but quickly changed, "You okay, Gren?" his voice now concerned.
Gren tried, but he couldn't force a smile, his heart was beating fast, his stomach twisted, he felt wound up, "I-I think I just need a redo…"
Corvus' demeanor became less stiff, he shuffled from one side to the other, and he seemed to look at Gren from head to toe, like he was assessing the situation and Gren's body language.
"We can try again, if you want," he said as he bit his lip slightly and looked from the ground then back at Gren. He spread out his arms a little and Gren quickly recognized the gesture, it was the "do you want a hug" gesture. He did that with Marcos when Marcos seemed stressed. (Marcos, however, very rarely took him up on the offer. He's not much of a hugger.)
Within two strides Gren reached Corvus, wrapped his arms around him, felt Corvus wrap his arms over him, and it was just what he needed.
He took in a deep breath, resting his chin on Corvus' shoulder. Corvus' body was warm, but the fabric of his shirt felt cool, and soft. This was nice. Then, of course, there was the temptation of the crook of Corvus' neck, which really looked like a comforting little nook that Gren could bury his face in and be completely safe and secluded from the rest of the world, but instead he let himself stay a little longer on his shoulder, taking in another breath. Corvus smelled like sunlight and fresh air - like his clothes were hung outside to dry and soaked in all of nature. It was comforting, and Gren felt grounded again, safe.
He lifted his head up and gently bonked his head against the side of Corvus'.
He could hear the small, heh after the bonk before Corvus softly asked, "Better?"
Gren felt a shiver run down his spine, Corvus was so close to his ear he could feel his breath when he spoke. "Yes, thank you," Gren smiled, and even though Corvus couldn't see it, he hoped his tone conveyed it. He felt Corvus loosen his grip, start to pull back, but Gren tightened his arms quickly then loosened them. If Corvus wanted to end the hug, he wouldn't stop him, but Gren hoped Corvus understood his hint that he wanted to hug a little longer.
A slight hesitation, before Corvus resumed the hug, pulling him in a smidgen more, and even gently bonking him back.
Gren smiled to himself. Corvus is… Amazing? Wonderful? Fantastic? Super supportive? Thoughtful? The Best? All of those, he mentally noted, his heart now beating fast in the pleasant way it usually did around Corvus instead of out of anxiety like earlier.
"I'm really nervous about meeting Kazi and Sabah," Gren admitted, and this was one of the nice things about hugging, besides the feeling of warmth and safety; he didn't have to see Corvus' reaction to his embarrassing news.
He felt the slight tilt of Corvus' head, "Why would you…? You have nothing to…" he couldn't get the sentences out. He just sounded completely baffled.
"They're both really important people in your life. I'm just...worried that I won't leave a good impression…"
There was a small silence, "Is that why you brought two bags of, what I imagine to be, food?"
Gren nodded, "Well, that and you guys are have just recently moved in and it's only polite to bring dinner to people who have just-"
Corvus chuckled, and he could hear a small "of course" escape his lips, although that seemed mostly to himself. Gren didn't finish the rest of his explanation because it suddenly didn't seem to matter. It had already, unintentionally, accomplished the highest success possible in this situation - it made Corvus laugh.
"Gren, there's nothing for you to worry about, I promise." Corvus pulled back enough so they could face each other, his hands now moving to Gren's shoulders. Gren tried to look away, still flushed in the face with now a mixture of embarrassment and pride, but Corvus maneuvered his head and made a point to catch Gren's eyes. Corvus' eyes, soft hazel and warm, seemed to convey so much before he even spoke a word. "They're going to love you, I know it," he smiled.
Gren's chest tightened and he couldn't help but to smile back, "Th-thank you for the vote of confidence," he said while looking away.
Corvus let out another breath and, with widening eyes, Gren became very much aware that they were in each other's CO2 zones again. He returned back to Corvus' eyes, but they were hooded by long eyelashes; Corvus' gaze seemed to be a little lower, but then he looked up, hazel met blue, and it was like looking at Gren snapped him out of…something because Corvus' eyes widened and his face quickly pulled back. Gren didn't even realize it was that close to begin with...
"Well," Corvus said while patting Gren's shoulders twice, then letting go and walking towards the bags, "let's see what you brought!"
Gren stood frozen for a second, his heart beating so rapidly he could practically feel it in his ears. What was that?
The sound of the insulated grocery bag unzipping reminded him of where he was, where Corvus was and, putting whatever that was aside, wherever Corvus was that's where he wanted to be.
Gren made a mental note to try to break down and process that later, and practically skipped to Corvus' side. Odd. He was feeling a little light on his feet now. Maybe that was part of the Corvus effect, or at least that's what he started to mentally call it after speaking with General Amaya about it over the summer.
"I can't believe you," Corvus laughed as he pulled out the smaller container of cooked ground beef, both halves of the garlic bread already set on the counter. "This is a full fledged meal!" His voice still sounded in disbelief.
"Careful, it's still hot," Gren warned as Corvus pulled out the glass container with the lasagna.
"And you taped a paper with the ingredients to the lid..." Corvus half-laughed, somewhat baffled.
"For allergies - just in case," Gren smiled and opened the bag with the cooler items as Corvus carefully set the glass dish on the counter behind them, and further away from an edge.
Corvus turned back around after placing a potholder under the dish. "I forgot there was a second bag..."
Gren turned around and somehow Corvus seemed to be right next to him, back in his CO2 zone, and looking beside him to see what else was in the bag. Gren smiled to himself further, it reminded him of when Corvus was looking over at his laptop screen, back in the fall, back when he asked for his phone number…things sure have changed since then. Or was Corvus always like this and Gren didn't really notice until now?
"Well?" Corvus' voice was excited.
Gren chuckled, pulled out the container of jello, and gave it to Corvus.
He looked at the short ingredients list, "Carrots?"
Gren laughed more, "They're the thin shavings you see. It's my mom's recipe. Askur was always a picky eater, so she had to sneak veggies in our meals in "creative" ways for him to eat it. The jello and clementine slices actually make it very sweet, you don't even taste the carrots. I figured an extra dose of veggies never hurt, plus then you get to try one of my mom's dishes." Gren blushed, he didn't realize how excited he was for Corvus to try a little taste of something he frequently ate growing up.
"Nice." Corvus' voice sounded soft and Gren could hear him open the refrigerator to put the jello away.
"There's still more," Gren said, now pulling out the container of cut strawberries, setting that on the counter, followed by the balsamic vinegar, and the pecans - also in a separate container in case of any tree nut allergies.
"More?" Corvus asked beside him, and from his tone Gren could tell Corvus was getting close to teasing him about the volume of food he brought. In his peripheral vision, he could see Corvus leaning against the counter with a wide grin on his face.
"I wanted to make sure the three of you had a balanced meal, and ideally leftovers to enjoy." Gren felt his face grow hotter under Corvus' gaze. He pulled out the last item. "Lastly, a bowl of baby spinach for the salad. Along with the strawberries, pecans and dressing, of course."
Corvus took the bowl from Gren. "Of course," he echoed, his voice still sounding playful. Corvus looked from the bowl, back to Gren, back to the bowl and bit his lip, "So do you always do this much cooking when someone moves into a new place?"
"Nope, just you." Gren said automatically. Wait..! "And-and Kazi and Sabah, of course! All of you! Uh, I mean there are three of you, after all!"
Corvus bit his bottom lip, but the corners of his mouth still perked up in a smile before he turned his body back to the fridge to put the bowl away.
"Oh, here's the rest, before you close it." Gren brought over the other items, hoping to still catch the smile on Corvus' face.
"Thanks," he smiled while taking the containers, and Gren felt his heart melt a little. Corvus closed the fridge and that's when Gren realized that he, Gren, was leaning into Corvus' CO2 zone. Was this going to become a regular thing?
"Uh..." Gren backed away slightly, "D-do you mind if I put the lasagna in the oven?" He stepped closer to the glass container, "We don't have to turn it on, but it'll keep it warm. Or maybe back in the bag? It's insulated…"
Corvus let out a breath and nodded, "Here, let me put the oven on warm. We'll keep it there." He pressed a few buttons and after removing the lid Corvus carefully placed the glass dish in the oven. "Well," he set the oven mitts to the side, "since we have a little time, would you like a tour of the apartment?" he asked with an undertone of excitement.
"Definitely!"
"Great!" Corvus loosely took Gren's hand and led him towards the shorter hallway.
Gren felt buoyant; it's not like their fingers were intertwined - just hands cupped together - but it filled him with a new burst of energy and he tightened the grip a little.
"This is Sabah's part of the apartment. Here's her door," he gestured accordingly then turned around to look at the space next to the kitchen, "and here's her bathroom. Overall, not too exciting for you as a guest," Corvus smiled.
Gren smiled back at Corvus - maybe not, but he was still enjoying the tour.
Corvus led him to the area between the kitchen and living room. "This," he gestured widely, "Is our living room and kitchen. Believe it or not, the couches and entertainment stand came with our apartment!" he showed off proudly.
"Nice!"
"Yes, our tuition money - hard at work," Corvus grinned and Gren couldn't help but laugh at the joke.
Corvus seemed pleased and fully faced him, letting go of their joint hands, "Also, fun fact: I figured out that basically the length of this apartment is in fifths, and they used the space of two rooms to make this area," he explain, gesticulating with his hands for length, dividing, and combining the two rooms.
"Huh, that is interesting. I kinda thought three bedrooms for a college apartment was an odd number."
"Same! I guess they mix up three- and four-bedroom apartments within a floor to better use the space. It was like a puzzle of building layout efficiency."
Gren felt his cheeks smile wider, for some reason Corvus treating the otherwise passing question about why the school had three bedroom apartments as a puzzle felt very much like him. Gren glanced back at their unconnected hands; they'd never held hands before, but...why did he already miss that connection?
As if having the same thought, Corvus recupped their hands and led him to the longer hallway.
"The first room is Kazi's, across from Kazi's bedroom is the bathroom we want guests to use. Oh! But be aware that there's a Jack-and-Jill door inside the bathroom to the shower room next door, make sure that's locked."
"You have a separate shower room?" Gren raised an inquisitive eyebrow.
"Well, some cultures feel like the toilet and shower shouldn't be in the same place, and since Queens' Unity is so diverse, getting students from all countries elven and human alike, they wanted to cover their bases. Sabah's bathroom has a toilet and bath/shower combo though. But, I think it works out. A guest can still use the bathroom even if Kazi or I am in the shower next to it."
Gren nodded, "Good point."
Corvus flashed another thousand watt smile, as he started leading Gren further down the hall. "You have no idea how excited I am to not use a freshman dorm shower anymore! Every time I showered I felt like I was back in the highschool locker room. Oh!" he stopped suddenly to point at a small door, "Here's a closet - Gren we have so much more room now!" he beamed, "And speaking of…" He now led him into the last room left unexplored. "Here's my room!" The ta-da was evident in his tone.
Gren looked around in awe, the room was extremely neat and well kept, with only a few unpacked boxes in the back right corner. Corvus' desk was towards the back facing the windows, his bed was to the left, a dresser and short empty bookshelf to the right, and next to the door a small closet. It wasn't very wide, but it didn't feel cramped either.
Reluctantly he let go of Corvus' hand, walking deeper into his world. "Corvus...This looks great! Wow. You're mostly set up. Look at your desk," he said while turning to face Corvus.
Corvus grinned widely, "Yup. Although, I doubt I'll be using it too much since we'll be studying together most of the time."
Gren felt a light blush spread across his cheeks, "Yes, that's true," he smiled shyly before returning back to the desk area, looking out the window - a beautiful view of lush forest trees - then to the pictures pinned to a cork board nearby. He recognized Chlo and Asha from their video chat earlier in the summer. Corvus' parents were pretty easy to identify and Gren noted how Corvus took after his mom in terms of facial features and structure but had his father's strong frame and body type. Another picture caught his eye: a selfie of Corvus with two Sunfire elves.
"This must be Kazi and Sabah!" Gren said excitedly. "I can't believe I never really saw a picture of them up until now," he half-laughed.
Corvus approached his side, "Yeah, that's them. Well...I'm not exactly the type of guy that remembers to stop and take photos. Kazi actually thought to take the photo and Sabah insisted that Kazi joined it."
Gren looked more closely, both Corvus and one of the Sunfire elves were dressed up very nicely. "The one in the red and gold dress must be Sabah? And the one with the glasses is Kazi?" Gren asked.
He could see Corvus nod in his peripheral vision, suddenly aware of how close they were again, "Yup."
In the picture Corvus was dressed up too. He was aware that each of the military branches had formalwear (he had heard Embla talking of her "formal whites" before), but Gren hadn't actually been to any events where he would see the Katolis army's "formal blues". And Corvus' attire in the picture looked formal, with Corvus wearing a dark blue jacket with satin lapels, an army blue bow-tie, an insignia of some kind on the left side, and were those cufflinks? Corvus looked handsome, really handsome, and the relaxed smile on his face certainly contributed to that as well.
"Your uniform really suits you. Striking. You definitely command a presence. You're going to be a natural leader once you graduate," Gren said while turning to face Corvus who seemed a little flustered.
"Thanks…" Corvus looked away and scratched the back of his neck. "That's not my regular uniform though. That's my mess dress, for special occasions."
Gren laughed, "I figured. Embla talks about hers sometimes too."
Corvus scratched the back of his neck again, "That makes sense. I'm not sure I have the same, y'know, presence in my regular uniform."
Gren bonked the side of his head against Corvus' - he figured he might as well since they were so close and Corvus was obviously being overly modest. "I have no doubt that you do. Maybe I'll get to see you on inspection day this year?" Gren sounded more hopeful than he meant to. ROTC cadets wore their uniform on campus on inspection day once a week. Last semester it didn't fall on a day when they met up, this year Gren was hoping to meet up more often and that he'd be able to see Corvus in uniform.
Corvus bit back a smile, "Yeah, maybe?" He sounded surprisingly bashful, "Umm…Y'know, Kazi took the picture because I was taking Sabah to the military ball."
Gren returned back to the photo, now looking at Sabah's red and gold dress more closely - definitely representing Sunfire elf designs but there were some Katolian embroidery designs in there as well. Come to think of it, the royal colors of the Katolis family and the colors of the Sunfire elf nation matched perfectly. "Sabah looks gorgeous! She also looks thrilled to go."
"Heh, yeah...Sabah likes a good party. She hadn't declared a major so I figured talking with other people in the ROTC unit might give her different ideas. She seemed to enjoy herself."
Gren leaned back, "That makes sense. That was nice of you."
"It worked out well, I could only take one date and Kazi hates large crowds anyways." Gren could feel Corvus' gaze on him and fully turned around to meet his eyes, "I mean, it's not exactly meeting two of the highest ranking generals in our country, but it's a good networking opportunity, especially with military personnel. I was actually hoping to take you, but y'know 21 credits last semester…"
Gren nodded in understanding.
Corvus looked down and straightened out the pens sitting on his desk. "Maybe this upcoming spring you could pencil it in?" he hesitantly looked up.
Gren felt a rush of heat bloom in his cheeks, "I would love to go with you! And what a great professional opportunity, thank you, but wouldn't Sabah be disappointed?"
Corvus smiled and returned back to arranging the pens and straightening the notepad on his desk, "Sabah had a good time and all, but I think she was happy to only go just that once. She would be more than understanding if you went instead."
"Okay then, if you're sure…This spring, right?"
Corvus nodded.
"Then it's a date!" Gren said brightly.
Corvus' eyes went a little wide but then he turned and faced Gren, his whole face beaming, "Yeah! It's a date."
"We're home!" Gren heard someone shout politely.
"Whoa! What smells so good?" another voice said.
Corvus' eyes turned excited as he looked at Gren, "You ready to meet Kazi and Sabah?"
Gren took a deep breath, steeled his nerves and nodded.
Corvus took Gren's hand again and led him back to the hallway. Not like Gren needed to be led, but he wasn't going to complain. A little hand holding for emotional support never hurt, he figured.