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Chapter 13…

{Clary's POV}

If I could feel my body I'm sure it would be tense, but it was like there was nothing else, nothing but him.

Seeing him was like scorching fire through me, slashing through wounds I had thought were healed.

That was the problem with me and wounds, I tended to just cover them and not look at them again, never letting them truly heal.

He was one of these wounds. I had left the thought of him out of my mind, hoping it would heal on it's own, obviously not. Because seeing him was a stab through the heart.

"Father…"

I breathed.

"Come on Clarissa, surely you can't be that surprised to see me."

He chuckled, a devilish smile on his face.

"You should know that even hell itself couldn't keep me prisoner."

I had never felt so small in my life, yet again he was the only man alive who could make me feel inferior.

"No, no you are dead. I plunged Maetarllach through your spine, through where I can penetrate your heart and spine at the same time. You taught me that. So no, you are dead, and shall remain so."

I spat out at him, my mind and body in denial of what was right in front of me.

His lips curved further into a smirk now.

"So then Clarissa, as you have all the answers, explain why I am here. In this cell in the Gard, with you."

My mind was exhausted, tired of caring, tired of thinking.

"I don't know."

{Jon's POV}

"So who knows that Clary is being held in the Gard?"

I asked Alec, the Blackthorn children had all been taken upstairs now, tucked in by their father, so that it was only Jules, Emma, Alec and I downstairs.

"I'm assuming that the Clave meeting our parents are in now is informing them of her status ; news travels fast in Idris anyway so it won't be long before everyone knows."

Alec answered in his usual manner.

"Is there anything we can do?"

Emma asked this time, worry spiking up in her eyes.

"I don't think that would be wise,"

I answered,

"If we attempt to rescue or break Clary out it could look like she has something to hide, we just need her to endure the trial and then all will be well."

I finished, explaining why the best plan of action was to do nothing.

Through the window I could see the sky was near enough black, the only light that could be seen was from the demon towers dotted around the city.

I was about to retire from the Lightwood's house and begin making my way home, when the door flashed open and a group of shadowhunters stormed in.

Startled by the sudden noise we all rose from our seats, my hand instinctively going to my weapon's belt where one of my chakrams was.

However, I relaxed when I realised who had bustled into the no longer silent front room; my mother, Luke, Stephen, Celine, Maryse and Robert.

All of their faces were troubled, it was easier to read than words on a page.

"What's happened?"

Alec asked quickly, sensing the change of mood in the room.

Maryse spoke first,

"I'm sure you are aware by now that Clary has been imprisoned by the Consul."

She stated, and we all nodded in agreement.

"What's so bad about that?"

I questioned, then followed up quickly,

"Of course I don't want Clary in the Gard, but she'll be put on trial, the truth will come out that she is innocent and everything will be fine."

I explained further, as I received a questioning look from my mum.

"Clary isn't imprisoned in the Gard exactly."

Stephen announced.

"Then where is she?"

"Clary is being held below the Gard, in a prisoner's cell that was only designed at the Consul's request recently."

"I remember, as Jules and I were led away from Clary we were walking on an upwards slope, I had thought we were below ground."

Emma briefed us all.

"So what is so special about this cell then? Surely it's the same as the others, steel bars and concrete walls?"

I asked, directing the conversation back to finding answers.

Celine locked eyes with my mum before answering, almost like she was confirming something.

"We don't know all the fine details, but the walls have been imbued with a spell by a warlock. This particular spell creates a mental cage for whoever is inside it."

Celine explained numbly.

My eyes widened,

"So Clary…"

I trailed off at the end, not knowing what to say ; but seeming to understand my silent question Luke said.

"So as long as Clary remains in there she will be unconsciously in this mental cage."

"What happens in the mental cage?"

Emma gulped, all of us fearing the worst.

"She will be enduring her worst fears. And to her they will be real."

{Izzy's POV}

Jace had disappeared to his room a while ago, after Simon and I had basically forced im to go get some rest, worrying about Clary wasn't going to do anyone any good.

So it was just Simon and I left in the common room.

"Si?"

"Yes?"

I bit my lip uncomfortably, I really really hated these conversations.

"What are we?"

His expression went a little puzzled.

"Well, what do you mean?"

It took all the willpower to not roll my eyes and punch him, why were guys so stupid.

"Like this!"

I grabbed his hand which was resting on my leg, and had been since Jace was there - I knew Jace had clocked it but I was thankful he didn't say anything.

"Oh that."

Simon mumbled,

"Yeh that,"

I retorted, getting a little frustrated now.

"Iz, last time we erm, you know, dated, I wasn't ready for a relationship. I know I was a dick for what I did to you, and I'm sorry, I'll always be sorry for that. But I have changed now, I have and you know it."

"Like how you could have killed Jace only a few days ago? Is that you changed?"

I asked, I knew I was being bitter but I couldn't help it.

Last time Simon and I had dated things had ended badly, because he was the first boy I had really loved, and I thought who had loved me back.

"Things have never been easy for me since I ascended, you know that."

He scolded, and I instantly regretted my harsh words.

"I focused more on becoming what a shadowhunter should be and less on who I was. But I always tried to be better, better for you, and I think I have earnt that now, don't you?"

I thought his words over in my head, weighing up his argument.

"Do you recall when I said you were like Clary?"

He rolled his eyes dramatically,

"Bringing up old insults now?"

And I giggled quietly while he scoffed.

"I think I had been right and wrong, Clary would never admit her faults or weaknesses, you aren't like that, you wear them on your sleeve now."

I said, looking at Simon's beautiful green eyes.

"Thank you."

He answered.

"So does that mean you are willing to give me a shot?"

He asked in the cheesiest voice I had ever heard, I faked a gagging noise.

"Fine, we can give this a go."

I said after more exaggerated motions of being sick.

His face lit up and a small part of me marvelled at how I could make him light up like that.

{Clary's POV}

I was rubbing my temples harshly, as if I could force myself to be rid of him.

"No Clary, answer the question, how am I here?"

Valentine asked again for the 50th time.

"I already told you I don't know, because you're dead, none of this is real."

I exclaimed, frustrated and so tired.

"Why wouldn't this be real?"

He fired back, I took my head out of my hands and glared up at him.

"Because you're fucking dead!"

I shouted in his face.

Smiling at my reaction he whipped a knife out of his side pocket and sliced it towards me. I barely had any time to react, but I threw myself to the side far enough so the blade only scratched my upper arm.

A trickle of blood started running down.

"Can the dead do that?"

He announced, obviously impressed that he had gotten a reaction out of me.

I swallowed hard before speaking next,

"I'm dreaming, you aren't real, you can't be real."

I said again, not allowing myself to believe anything else.

"Ah dear daughter, some part of you knows that I am back and I am really here, but you won't allow yourself to believe it, to trust in it."

He then pulled a puzzled face,

"But I can't understand why."

Crouching down across from me he held his hand out as if to brush the hair away from my face, but I flinched hard away from his touch.

A toxic, malevolent expression fell onto his face as he stood back up again.

"You fear me."

He said truthfully.

"I do not fear you father, I am the one who sent you to hell."

I retaliated.

"Yes you did Clarissa, but you are still afraid, I can see it in your eyes."

I looked away from him, hoping he wouldn't be able to figure it out ; figure out the secret I had kept to myself since lake lyn.

"Oh, no I am mistaken."

He exclaimed, he looked even more amused now.

"You are afraid of yourself, afraid that you are exactly who I intended you to be."

My eyes then snapped back to his as the words left his mouth.

"Feel proud?"

I scoffed, no longer giving a shit.

"A little, but why do I still affect you so much?"

He asked again, pressing further and further.

I let my hands fall from the sides of my head, and began boring my gaze into his, reflecting his challenge.

"Because you ruined me."

"Can you honestly tell me you did not enjoy our time together?"

I was left speechless, he really believed I had fond memories of my childhood with him.

"Every cell in my body hates you for what you did to me."

I spat at him, recoiling away.

"So do you admit you hated the thrill of being trained by the best shadowhunter of that generation? Do you hate that rush it gave you to kill and hunt? Remember who you are talking to Clarissa, I know who you are."

I rose from my crouch and stalked over to him, staring right into his eyes.

"You may have been the best shadowhunter of your generation yes, but I think you forget who you are talking to. Because I'm the best of mine."

As I growled at him, his face paled ever so slightly, yet I noticed.

For the first time in a while I felt powerful, like I had regained a piece of me that was missing.

"So get out."

I hissed.

Responding to my command he simply vanished, like dust being blown into the wind.

So Clary has found herself again, the fear of her father no longer dangling over her.

Let me know what you think as always

Song 12 ~ The Search - NF