I want to thank everyone for their feedback and well wishes. I really do appreciate it. I hope everyone is staying safe, I know I'm doing my part.

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A week after the trip to the falls, C.J. was sleeping in her bed when she heard humming and opened her eyes to see Kai standing next to the bed, holding a grinning Jeddy. He smiled at her, "Little dude's gettin' big." He put Jeddy back in his bassinet, kissed him, then he climbed over C.J. to lay next to her.

There were tears in her eyes as she stroked his face, hair, and shoulders. A tear escaped as she told him, "I miss you."

He gave her a quick kiss then let her know, "I'm right here, babe. I'll always be with you. I'll always be with my Nani U'hane."

She nodded and whispered, "My Hauoli U'hane." Then she had to tell him again, "I'm sorry. I never meant for you…"

He put his index finger on her lips, "Hey, I was right where I needed to be. Between you and the bad guys. And…" he sighed a little, "I was the sacrifice the island demanded."

She was puzzled, "What does that mean? Why would…"

He put his index finger back up to her lips, "Don't worry about it." He kissed her again, then noted lightly, "I see Houston has been keeping you company."

Suddenly she was concerned, "Are you mad? Are you mad that he's spending time with us? I'll make him go away if you are." She didn't want him to be angry, because she needed Kai to stay with her. Life is full of loss, but hers had more than its share, and losing Kai hurt her deeply.

He stroked her hair, and grinned a little, "Nooo. Why would I be? He loves you and Pika. And you need him."

She shook her head, "No, I need you." She added dejectedly, "He never loved me."

He kissed her tenderly, "Aw, babe. He did and he does love you. You need to forgive him."

C.J. felt defensive, "For Jeddy sake? I'm doing my best." She was a little perturbed that Kai wanted to talk about Houston, when she just wanted him to hold her and kiss her. She missed the strength of his arms around her.

"You need to forgive him for you," he said seriously.

She leaned back, shaking her head, "No." Then she felt like she should explain, "I don't trust him. I can't."

He raised an eyebrow, "Can't or won't?"

She thought about it, and she answered honestly, "I won't. He could have stopped sleeping with her after he knew that I found out. Put an end to it and tried to make it up to me. But he didn't. He just kept having sex with her. She was more important to him than I will ever be." She added, "He didn't end it for me. He ended it for Jeddy. So, I won't go back to him."

He cocked his head at her, then looked above the bed. She followed his gaze to look at the transparent wall made of multicolored bricks, like faintly glowing rainbows. He reached up and ran his hand over it. "Babe, you've spent the last month building on this wall you have against him. It's even higher than before, and I get that, I do. But now, it needs to come down." He pushed on the wall and some of the bricks flew away.

She was quietly adamant, "No. You were the last man I let behind the wall. I won't put myself out there again. I won't." She knew it wasn't like her to be this way, but the dark place was weighing even heavier on her than before. She was only holding on to the light for Jeddy's sake.

He knew she meant that, but he also knew the truth of the matter, so he told her, "You love him. You've always loved him. That's why it hurts so much."

She bit her lip, "I don't love him. Not… not now." She knew that was a lie, so wanted to change the subject, "I love you. Stay with me." Then more tears trickled down her cheeks, "You promised you would."

His voice was soft and sympathetic, "I know I did, but I can't. You know I can't." She began crying in earnest. He stroked her face and kissed her tears, then held her, "Shhh, babe. It'll be okay."

Suddenly he floated out of the bed and toward the sliding glass door. She implored, "Don't leave me here alone!" She sat up fast and put her feet on the floor.

He smiled at her, "You're not alone, babe. You have him." He disappeared as she ran toward him.

She woke up, having slammed into the sliding glass door. She sank to the floor and sobbed.

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The next morning, when Houston arrived at the house there was no answer when he rang the bell. He waited for several minutes before ringing the bell again, but she still didn't answer the door. He walked around to the side of the garage and peeked in the window; both cars and Kai's motorcycle were in the garage. He peeked in the office window, but there was no one and no sign of movement. He wasn't sure what to do next. He went back to the front door and rang the bell again. He was just about to try the gate at the fence to the back yard, when the door opened slowly.

C.J. was still in her pajamas, her hair was a mess, her nose was red, eyes were puffy because she had obviously been crying. She barely looked at him as she rasped out a half-truth, "We had a bad night, Houston. Today's not a good day for you to visit. Maybe tomorrow." Then she started to shut the door.

He observed that the house was dark. The curtains were drawn and the only light was coming from somewhere in the kitchen. This was quite the contrast to how she usually kept the house. The blinds were never closed. She liked to have a lot of natural light filling the rooms. He put his hand on the door and offered, "Wait, C.J. I could watch Jeddy while you get some rest."

She shook her head, and tried to keep the bruised right side of her head aimed away from him. She knew if he saw the bruise she got from slamming into the door, he would not let her be. She said stiffly, "No, he's sleeping. Finally. Just come back some other day."

The phrase 'some other day' caught him short. Something had happened in the night that caused her mood to change. She had been, well, not fine, but not any worse than she had been before their trip to the falls last Saturday. And certainly not any worse than she had been since Kia had been killed. She was quiet all week at the office and he didn't press her to talk. Houston was a little alarmed, "C.J., what happened? Did I do something?" He quickly racked his brain to come up with even a minor offense.

She looked at him out of the corner of her eye; her chin quivered, "I'm tired Houston." Then she sniffled, "I really miss Kai and there's nothing you can do about that. So, just go and come back some other day." Then she shut and locked the door and waited to hear his footsteps retreating down the walkway before she went back and laid down on the bed, buried her face in Kai's pillow and cried.

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Sunday morning, after going back and getting no answer, he went back to the hotel and called, first, Uncle Roy, but he and Will were not at home, then Carol. "I don't know what to do," he confessed.

Carol, thought for a few moments, "Is she eating?" The whole time they had been friends and sorority sisters, C.J. was always an upbeat person. But when she had a break up, she wouldn't eat and barely slept. She would focus on her studies to the exclusion of all else. It was almost as bad as when she was sick and they would have to hold her books hostage until she had eaten.

"I don't know, I would hope she is for Jeddy's sake, but…" He pursed his lips, "I've never seen her like this." He equivocated, "Well, when I first met her, after her mom had died and she had to move in with that foster family. She was like this a little, but then she was fine." He was dismayed, "It's been over a month, why would his death be hitting her so hard now?"

Carol said sympathetically, "The shock of it has worn off." She hesitated then began, "He was there to pick up the pieces when you broke it off with her." She heard him inhale, so quickly added, "She told me the break up was fake, at first, but then you did what you promised you wouldn't and then it was real." Then she went back to her original point, "She loved him and he loved her. In the past, you would have been the one she turned to, but after what you did…" Carol let the silence fill in the blank, then went on, "So this is going to be very hard on her."

Houston felt defeated, "Yeah, I know. This is my fault. I just don't know how to help her. And I am worried that she's going to get so run down, she won't be able to do what I know she wants to do most and that's be a great mother to our son."

Carol asked flatly, "He's your son?" This was news to her, but not completely surprising when she quickly did the math.

"Yeah, he's mine. The people that killed Kai would have killed C.J. if they thought she was pregnant with my baby," he briefly explained.

She let out a breath, "I have so many questions, but I'm not going to ask them now." She paused before advising, "Maybe wait until Monday to go see her. Give her the weekend, and maybe she'll get some of it out of her system. Then when you go over there, you find a way in if she won't open the door. Make sure you let her know how concerned you are about her. She'll probably be angry, but stay there and make sure she eats and drinks. I'm going to give her a call now and see if she'll talk to me." She was going to use the secret number that rang in the safe room hoping that C.J. would answer that one. "Give me the number at your hotel and I'll call and let you know if she speaks with me."

He gave her the number then said, "Thanks for your help." He added wryly, "If I have to break in, I'm gonna throw you under the bus, so, just know that going in."

She chuckled, "It's fine. It wouldn't be the first time someone did that to me. Take care of her for us, Houston." She was already planning how to get away from her medical practice for a week to go see C.J. if she completely rejected Houston's help.

"I will." Then he hung up the phone and stretched out on the bed. It was going to be a long weekend.

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Early Monday morning, at his usual time to arrive to watch Jeddy while she went for a run, he was met with the same stony silence from the knocks and doorbell rings. He debated on trying to find a way in, but then he remembered that Uncle Roy had told him to be patient. So, he went away, and came back on Tuesday and Wednesday with the same results. Each day he went to her office and let himself in with the spare key to see if she would turn up there, but no dice. Last night, Carol reported that C.J. hadn't picked up either phone and didn't return her calls, even though she left messages every day.

It was now Thursday and he was done being patient. If she would have at least returned Carol's calls it would have been different. But now he was really concerned for her safety as well as Jeddy's. The door was locked as were all of the windows on the front and side of the house that weren't behind the six-foot fence that enclosed the backyard. However, to his surprise, he found the gate to the fence was unlocked, so he made sure to lock it behind himself. He looked to the left and saw the garbage bin was overflowing with trash bags, mostly with dirty diapers, so she had at least gone that far out of the house. He walked over to the lanai and the door and blinds were shut. He was about to open the door, but then wondered if she still had her gun. He really didn't want to get shot, so he hesitated. Then he steeled himself, and slid the door open, and stepped through it and then the curtains. He softly called out, "C.J.? C.J.? Honey, are you okay?"

It took a minute for his eyes to adjust to the darkness, but once they had, he looked into C.J.'s bedroom and he saw her lying widthwise in the middle of the bed, and appeared to be asleep. She was lying on her right side with her right arm under the pillow her head was resting on. She had a pillow between her bent knees and her hand on Jeddy's hip. He was lying on his side facing her, and as Houston approached the bed, he could hear that Jeddy was nursing noisily. The baby was dressed only in a diaper and she was in her panties and a button-down pajama top. There were small piles of crumpled, used tissues strewn about the bed and as he walked around the bed he could see even more on the floor. He said softly, "C.J.?"

She startled awake saying, "Kai?"

It was like a jab at his heart, but he replied, "No, honey, it's me, Houston."

"Houston? What are you doing here?" Was her annoyed reply.

He went with a half-truth, "I came to watch Jeddy while you go for your run before work."

Her head dropped back down to the pillow, "It's Sunday, Houston. I don't work on Sundays." One of the things she liked about her move to Hawaii was she was able to keep regular hours and have her weekends to do anything but work.

"No, darlin', it's Thursday." Houston found the light switch and hit the lights as he offered, "I'll make some breakfast while you get ready for your run."

Her voice was sluggish and low, but demanding, "No. Just go away. I'm fine. I'll run tomorrow." She stroked Jeddy's cheek with the back of her index finger. He was finished nursing, so unlatched and began to wave his arms and kick his little legs. He smiled at her and she managed a weak smile for him, then kissed his forehead.

He sighed, "C.J., Doc said she's called and left messages, but you haven't returned her calls."

She snipped, "Maybe I don't want to talk to her right now." Then she began to cry, "Maybe I just want to be left alone with my baby." She grabbed the tissue box and wiped her eyes and nose.

He wanted to touch her, but was afraid of what her reaction would be. He moved so he was in her line of sight. He kept his tone soft and level, "We're concerned about you. If you don't want to talk to me…" He was about to say 'that's fine', but it wasn't fine with him. Not at all, so he hedged, "I understand, but please at least talk to Carol."

She pulled her top to cover her breast, then sat up. She picked up Jeddy, placed him on her shoulder and began to pat his back. "What good will taking do? It won't bring him back."

Now that she was sitting up, he walked over and opened the blinds. The sun was just fully over the horizon, and its rays started to fill the room with light. When he turned, he saw the purple bruise on her forehead, but he quickly chose not to mention it. They had other things that needed to be discussed first. He sadly admitted, "No. No, it won't."

He realized then that he had no words that would help her feel better. So, he walked over and reached for Jeddy, and to his surprise, she handed him the baby. He put his first born up on his shoulder and began to lightly bounce and pat the squirming baby. He started to pace as he awaited a burp. The first direction he started to walk just happened to be towards the door to the living room.

She slid to the side of the bed and put her feet on the floor. There was panic in her entire demeanor, she half-sobbed, half-gasped her question, "Are you gonna take my baby from me?" It had been a fear that had been building while she was in the dark place. That he would fly off to parts unknown with Jeddy and she would never see him again.

He turned and looked at her drawn and terrified face, then walked backed over and stood in front of her. He sighed, "C.J. I'm here for you." Through her tears she shot him a look, but he continued, "I know you're still angry with me because of everything that has happened in this past year, and I don't blame you. I don't. But darlin', I'm not mad at you." She looked dubious, so he repeated, "I'm not mad at you. I'm not." Then he assured her soothingly, "C.J., I will never take him from you. Ever. No matter what happens between us, I will never do that to you. Or him. Okay?" She nodded and burst into tears again. His heart went out to her, he wanted to hold her tight so she would know he meant every word of what he said, but decided not to. He told her, "I'm gonna give him a bath." He could tell it had been a few days, then he suggested, "Why don't you go take a shower and get dressed, huh?" She nodded, then slowly and wordlessly went to the bathroom.

When she came out over an hour later, he had a breakfast of bacon, eggs, and toast waiting for her on the lanai. Jeddy was in his 'hang ten' onesie and cooing and gurgling at Houston. She was dressed in black pants and a blue blouse; her hair was in damp curls. She had put a little makeup on, but it couldn't hide the puffiness or dark circles. She picked up a piece of bacon and began to nibble at it. She was at a loss for words, so she didn't even try to make eye contact with Houston. While she was in the shower, she vowed to stop being rude to Houston when he really was trying to help. In the light of day, she could see what a mess the house was in, so she also vowed to not let the dark place seduce her again. It wasn't good for her and, more importantly, it wasn't good for Jeddy. As she ate, she wasn't sure what topic wouldn't eventually lead back around to the one that made her so despondent, so she remained silent.

While she was in the shower, Houston had called Carol, then Will to let them know what he found. The advice Carol gave him was just put food or drink in front of her and encourage her to eat with as few words as possible. The idea was to not give her anything to argue with him about. And to get her to her OB/GYN to discuss possible medications to help with her depression. Houston said he would try, but he also knew how important nursing Jeddy was to her and that she wouldn't take any medication that might not let her do that.

So, they sat there quietly while she at all of the food and drank a glass of orange juice and a glass of water. When she was done, he gave her Jeddy, and then took the dishes to the kitchen and loaded the dishwasher. She put Jeddy in his bouncy chair, and when she walked out to the kitchen to get a refill on her water, he said softly, "I think you should call Carol. She's very worried about you. She talking about hopping on a plane to come check on you."

C.J. looked at the clock, her reply was equally soft, "She'll still be at work. I'll call her later when I'm sure she's home." Then she took several gulps of water. After letting out a long breath, she let him know, "I need to get the office. I can't…" she was ashamed of herself for letting her clients down. "I'm going to be so far behind." Then she muttered under her breath, "So unprofessional." And she had always prided herself in her professionalism.

Houston gently nudged her with his elbow, "Go easy on yourself. You only have two things due and that's not until tomorrow. You have most of the paperwork done. You just need to look over both contracts for any errors and you can file them tomorrow. You had a couple of new client meetings, but I rescheduled them for next week."

She looked over at him, bewildered, "You remembered that?" Knowing how much he hated paperwork, she didn't think he had really paid any attention to what she was doing at the office. "And how did you…"

"You gave me a key to the office, remember? So, I could let myself in if you were busy." Even though the Duvals were dead, there was still a danger that some of their people might come for revenge, so she kept the door to the office locked at all times. He lightly touched her arm, then pulled away before she could reject his touch. He grinned a little, "And, of course, I remember all of that. I may hate doing paperwork, but I can remember what needs to be done."

She bit her lip, then said, "Thank you." She shook off the overwhelming urge to cry again, and thought aloud, "I need to get a diaper bag ready, and…"

Houston quickly ran his hand down her arm, "I already put everything we need in your car." He was inwardly giddy that she didn't jerk away from him, but told himself to cool it for the rest of the day.

She nodded, and hesitated before asking, "Would… Would you mind driving today? I don't feel focused enough to be on the road." Even in her depression, she was self-aware enough to know that she shouldn't be driving while she felt so numb.

His answer was nonchalant, "Of course. I'll go take the trash to the curb, and meet you two at the car." She nodded and walked away to get her purse. He watched her walk away; realizing how much he loved her and how much work he had left to do to win her friendship back.

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For a week or so after that day, they had a new routine. Houston had heard about a jogging stroller the month before, and had one shipped over, so that they could go for their morning jogs together. It took less convincing that he thought it would to get her to agree to it. So, he would get over to her house bright and early, get Jeddy buckled in then they would go for a run. Houston ended up pushing the stroller because C.J. was still faster than he was. She would get to her turn around point, run back and then push the stroller home while Houston finished his run. While she showered, he swam his laps, then he would hop in the shower. They would eat breakfast then go to the office.

Houston avoided any topic that might upset her, and she kept her conversations short. When he would arrive in the mornings, he could see if she had spent the night crying or not by the way her eyes looked. The weekend of Jeddy's 3-month birthday, which happened to be Columbus Day weekend, and it meant the courts would be closed on Monday, they went over to see the Novellis and the Kekoas. Everyone made a big fuss over Jeddy and both the families got together to have a barb-a-cue in the late afternoon on Sunday.

C.J. was sitting by the fire-pit talking with Taavi. She had been worried about visiting anyone, but Houston assured her that he had not told a soul in Hawaii what had happened the week before. That knowledge allowed her to visit with everyone without wondering if they were judging her. So, she tried to keep up a happy air and chatted with everyone. As the day was waning into evening, she left Jeddy with Houston and Mama and the rest of the family to join Taavi at the fire. As they were conversing, she mentioned, "Kai's motorcycle has just been sitting in the garage. Would you like it? I think he would want you to have it."

Taavi smiled broadly, knowing how much Kai loved that bike. He could barely contain his excitement and announced, "I would love that!" then he saw a look in her eyes and added, "If you're okay with it."

She shook off her sadness and told him, "Of course. It's not like I'm going to use it." And gave him a little smile.

"What about…" He jutted his chin towards Houston who was talking with Aheahe, who was making faces a cooing Jeddy.

She grinned and crinkled her nose a little, "He's a car guy. He didn't even do well with a three-wheeler, so it's yours if you want it."

"I would." He looked at her and said, "Ike akua nei ku'u Kai." He quickly translated, "My spirit saw Kai last night. Have you seen him?" He was wondering if he would need to explain what he meant by that. The look in her eyes told him she understood completely.

Suddenly she was on the verge of tears, "Once, about a month after he…" She couldn't say the word, but was glad that she wasn't the only one who had Kai visit them during a dream.

Taavi put his hand on her shoulder, "He wanted me to tell you, that you need to forgive him."

"Why would I need to forgive Kai?" was her bewildered question.

"No, Nani U'hane, you need to forgive…" Once again, his chin jutted toward Houston, "…him." The tears trickled down C.J.'s cheeks as he continued, "Kai knew even before you moved to Hawaii that Houston was… is your 'ulana."

She shook her head, "You don't understand…"

Kai had told the family everything, so he confided, "I do. I do understand that he hurt you. Bad. That doesn't mean he's not your 'ulana. It means he's a human who made a mistake."

She didn't want Taavi to think she had been playing Kai for a fool, so she explained, "I loved Kai. He made me happy and I think…" She took a ragged breath as the tears welled up in her eyes, "I hope…" She took another sharp breath in, "I made him happy, too." Then as the tears began to fall, she had to be sure he understood, "We really had planned on spending the rest of our lives together."

He sympathized, "And you did, for his life at least. You made him very happy, and he died protecting you, which is what he wanted. But now, it's time to forgive old hurts." She shook her head a little, then shrugged her shoulders because she didn't know what to say. Taavi asked, "What did he say to your spirit? In your dream?"

Her eyes dropped to the fire and it took several minutes for her to confess, "The same thing."

He reached over and touched her arm, and reasoned, "He sees more than we do now, so you should consider listening to him, huh?" She gave a small shrug of her shoulders, then stood up and walked away.