Chapter 15
Two months later…
Liv rushed home from work to get ready for tonight, because she was staying at El's.
Just as she turned on the water in the shower, the doorbell rang. She moaned and turned off the water. Still wet and with nothing on but a towel wrapped around her, Liv tippy- toed to the door.
"Hello?"
"Hi Liv! It's me, Sarah, can I talk to you for a second?" the girl asked shyly.
"Sure. Come upstairs, sweetie." a pretty surprised Liv answered.
When Sarah saw the wet Liv standing in front of her, she felt guilty and uncomfortable.
"Oh, sorry. I've disturbed you. I am so sorry. I'll just go." she said apologetically while turning to go.
"Don't be silly. You do not disturb me. Just give me five minutes to shower then I am one hundred percent there for you." she said with an encouraging and comforting smile.
"Grab yourself something to drink and to eat and make yourself comfortable. I'll be quick, I promise." she said winking at her and with that she disappeared in the bathroom.
Sarah still felt a bit weird but she knew that Liv didn't have a problem with her showing up here like this, she had done it a few times before and Liv always seemed to be happy to see her.
She just loved talking to Liv because she's never treated her like a child and just makes her feel so special. She totally understood why Liv was such a good SVU detective. She was the most caring and sympathetic person she knew. You never feel judged by her, you feel like you are everything she cares about at that moment. That's why she needed to talk to her about this. She knew she could help her.
The bathroom door opened again and Liv came out. She smiled apologetically, "I need another 3 minutes to get dressed. I'm sorry."
"No, don't stress yourself. I should've called first. I am sorry."
"I told you that I am here for you whenever you need me, and I meant it. 3 minutes." she winked and disappeared in her bedroom. She got dressed in record time and texted El that she will be a bit late. She didn't say why because she wanted to know why Sarah was here first.
"So, I am ready. Finally." she said while sitting down next to Sarah.
"I am really sorry. I didn't mean to stress you out. I mean you already had a stressful day at work and now I am disturbing your evening."
"I don't mind being "disturbed" by you." she smiled at her and continued, "So, what's up?"
"Thank you." Sarah looked at her hands, unsure on how to start.
"Well. Okay, so there is this ... this person at my school that I really, really like and I think it's mutual but.. Well, first of all I don't know how to go on and… " she stopped unable to put it into words.
Liv looked at her sympathetically and as soon as she realized that Sarah wouldn't continue she asked, "What's her name?"
Sarah looked at her surprised.
"You.. you know that it is a girl?" she said wide- eyedly.
Liv smiled at her and said, "I do."
Sarah got up, hugged her boisterously and let out a sigh of relief.
"I knew why I came to you. You always understand me or at least you try to, without convincing me that I am wrong and that you know what's best for me. Oh my god! It feels so good to finally talk to someone about it. I knew it for a while now but I knew if I told mom she would say I am a child and I don't know what I am talking about. And dad, oh my god. I could never tell him. He still thinks I am his baby girl…"
Liv squeezed her hand and smiled.
"I am glad you came to me. It means a lot, really."
"This holiday was the best thing that has ever happened to me. Now I have the best stepmom ever!"
Liv didn't know what to say. It was nice to hear her say that but also kinda weird and she knew it would cause trouble if Kathy hears it.
"Sweetie. Don't call me that. Not that I don't like it but if your mom finds out that you call me that we are in big trouble."
"I don't call you that in front of her but I get it… I still need your help. I need to know if Lauren feels the same way about me as I do about her."
"So her name is Lauren. I see.. "
An hour and a half later Sarah had convinced Liv to pick her up from school the next day to check out Lauren and to tell her if she was interested in Sarah too.
Liv told her that she wasn't an oracle but Sarah didn't want to accept that as an answer, so Liv thought agreeing to pick her up would end this conversation the fastest and she really wanted to drive over to El's.
"Oh my god. Is it really this late? Your mom will freak out. Does she know where you are?"
"No, but I told her I am at Chloe's. So everything's fine. But I really should get going." She got up and walked towards the door.
"Wait! There's no way I am letting you get home by yourself. Give me a few minutes to get ready and I'll drive you."
"Liv, you really don't have to drive me. I can take the subway." Liv just shook her head and motioned for her to wait.
She packed up her stuff, took her keys and walked out the door with Sarah following her.
"Are you going over to dad's?" she asked out of the blue.
"Umm.. yes." Liv said, feeling awkward.
"Can you not tell him about Lauren? I mean I will need you to help me tell him sooner or later but I don't think he will understand."
They got in the car and Liv waited before she started the engine.
"I won't talk to him about anything you tell me unless you say it's fine but I think you underestimate him. He loves you no matter what. All he wants for you is to be happy."
"I don't know. But maybe it would be good if you could prepare him a bit. So he won't be too shocked."
"I have to confess something." Liv said carefully. "I have mentioned that I think you could be into girls a while ago. I am sorry. I didn't mean to go behind your back but I saw you struggle and thought it would be good for him to know."
Sarah looked at her wide- eyed and slack- jawed. Liv felt guilty. She didn't mean to hurt her or betray her trust but she was worried and did what seemed best in the moment.
"So dad already knows?"
"Well, I only mentioned it once and I wasn't 100% sure at the time, but he kinda does. Yes."
"Oh my god. That's awesome. So I can just tell him about Lauren the next time I see him and he won't be too shocked. How long did you know? And how? What did I do?" Liv sighed with relief.
"You aren't disappointed in me? Phew. Lucky me. And I don't know. I just, well I could tell. The way you looked at girls and that you didn't care about boys the slightest bit. And well that's kinda my job. Study people and find out their secrets." Sarah started to laugh.
"I told you, you are like this woman from the movie we watched. There is nothing you can't do, right?"
"Stop it." Liv said laughing. "I do have my flaws and imperfections, don't worry, there are plenty of them. Noone is perfect and that's good. So, let's get going. Turn on the music."
They drove through the city dancing and singing to the music. Forty minutes later they arrived at Elliot's old house. Liv stopped a few houses away from Kathy's, so she wouldn't be able to spot her car.
"Thank you, Liv. For everything." Sarah said while hugging her good-bye.
"My pleasure." She smiled and waited until she saw the girl get inside safely. Then she called El.
"Hey. Where are you?"
"Hi. Sorry, I'll need at least another 30 minutes until I'm there."
"What? Are you still at home?"
"No." she laughed. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you where I am."
"Why, where are you?" he asked confused but curious.
"In front of your old house."
"My old house? Like Kathy's house? What are you doing there?"
"I'll tell you more later but your daughter surprised me with a visit and I wanted to take her home afterwards. But I'll better get going or I won't come to you at all tonight." she said smiling.
"Thank you for taking her. Looking forward to see you." he said faithfully.
"Me too. See you soon." she said before hanging up.
Damn, she needed to get to him as soon as possible. She wanted to be close to him so bad right now. This day was way too exhausting, all she wanted right now was being held by him. No more badass Benson for today.
35 minutes later she finally arrived at his apartment. She was tired and exhausted. This evening didn't go as planned. Not at all. She didn't even wear the sexy lingerie she had planned to wear.
The only thing she wanted to do right now, was lie down in El's arms.
He waited for her at his front door. He saw immediately how exhausted she was, although she tried to hide it.
"Come here." he said with his arms wide open. She accepted the embrace happily and snuggled her head up against his chest.
"You don't know how much I've longed for this the whole day."
He smiled and kissed her head.
They went inside and El suggested to go to bed immediately. Liv tried to convince him that she was fine and that it was okay if he wanted to stay up for a bit longer but he just pushed her towards the bathroom.
When they finally lay down in bed, Liv cuddled up against him and wanted to tell him about Sarah but he stopped her and said that she could tell him tomorrow. He just wanted her to get some rest, she had an exhausting work day at court and then Sarah showed up, he knew she had talked way too much today. He started to stroke her back because he knew how much she enjoyed him doing it. After a few minutes she was fast asleep.
"Good morning, beautiful." El said, smilingly.
"Good morning." she said with her eyes still closed. "I'm sorry about yesterday. I didn't plan the evening like this!"
He kissed her on the cheek and said, "No need to feel sorry. I had the privilege of sleeping next to you, what else could I wish for?" She smiled but punched his arm slightly.
"Ouch, that's what you get for being sweet!" he said playfully.
"Why are you dressed already?" she asked.
"I woke up early and went for a run." he said. She looked at him surprised.
"How did I not wake up?"
"You were pretty exhausted yesterday and I was really, really quiet." he said with a wink.
"If you say so." She got up with a smile on her face and went to the bathroom.
A few minutes later she came out with nothing on but her underwear.
"Do you know where I left my bag yesterday?" she asked him while looking for it. He grabbed her arm and pulled her back to bed. She started to laugh.
"Elliot! Stop it. I really have to get ready!" she said playfully annoyed.
"I just can't! I really can't." She laughed harder.
"Please. Let go of me. If you don't stop then I can't stop and… " she stopped in the middle of the sentence because he moved from her neck to her earlobe and she couldn't concentrate when he nibbled on it. She finally pulled herself up and pushed him away.
"We really don't have the time for this right now, although it felt really, really nice." she said wistfully. Elliot smiled at her.
"Damn, you haven't been able to withstand the earlobe nibbling before. I am losing my control over you."
She shook her head in disbelief and punched him slightly.
"Okay, stop it. You hit me way too often." he said, trying to look serious but failing miserably.
"If you wouldn't look so happy while saying it, it would be way more authentic."
He laughed and pointed at a chair next to his wardrobe. "There's your bag."
"Thank you." She walked over to the chair and opened her bag.
"Great. All my stuff is wrinkled. I'll look like a bum today." Elliot started to laugh.
"I think you still have black pants in my wardrobe and maybe even a blouse."
She looked at him surprised.
"If that's the one I was looking for the whole week, I'll be pretty pissed."
"Why be pissed after finding it?"
She couldn't help but smile.
"Of course it's the one. Why didn't I think about it earlier, last time I missed something it was here too. The constant apartment change is driving me nuts."
He looked at her surprised.
"What do you mean?"
"I just mean that it's frustrating to live like this with our job. We get home late and get up early. I need my clothes to change, but I don't have them here so I can't stay overnight spontaneously without having to go get changed at my flat before work, which means getting up even earlier… but don't take me too seriously. I am just, well it's early and I am still kinda exhausted."
He looked at her worriedly.
"Liv, I don't want you to.. "
"El, I am fine. I just … well give me a cup of coffee and the world will look a lot better immediately." she said with a smile. She knew he wasn't convinced but she couldn't do this right now so she left the room.
He stared at the place where she was standing a few seconds before. He was worried and she didn't want to talk to him. This wasn't good. He followed her into the kitchen.
"We could talk about it during our lunch break, with pasta from Luigi's. What do you say?"
"I can't." He looked at her more than concerned. So she said, "I've promised Sarah to pick her up from school."
She saw the confusion on his face and knew he wasn't sure if she told the truth.
"El, please stop worrying. I won't run. Yes, it is annoying and exhausting to live like this with our job but that doesn't mean that I don't see the positive things, like sleeping next to you and waking up in your arms in the morning."
She moved closer and kissed him.
"You have to believe in me a bit more, okay? I am not going anywhere."
He caressed her cheek.
"I do have trust in you. I just don't want you to feel more stressed out because of our relationship. All I want is for you to be happy."
She kissed him again and said, "I am happy."
She kissed him one last time before she grabbed her gun and badge.
"Come on. If we are both late, they'll get suspicious. Or should I say even more suspicious, I am sure they are talking about us behind our backs."
"I know. Although I thought we hid it pretty well." He saw her look and said, "Okay. I know, I've lost it a few times but I did that before we dated too. I have always felt the need to protect you from this human scum."
"I know." she said smiling. "Come on my knight in shining armor. We need to go."
He followed her and said, "I hate you."
They were both smiling on their way out.